Reooooccooeoososcooooooooi
LUMBAGO
AND
SCIATICA
ST.
JACOBS
OIL
Penetrate to the Spot
Kifiht on the dot.
Price 23c and 50c
eooGcoooGcosGGOoceooa
Leaky.
Little Margaret was to take her first
bath In the river. A flue new bnthlng
uit bad been runde for her and she
donned It with great pride. Her moth
er, with Margaret's sisters, took her
down. Slie was very timid about going
In, until sbe say the cthws were per
fectly safe In the water. Then she ven
tured In. The water suddenly grew
deeper and came above her wnlst, much
to the surprise of the little maid, who
cried out In surprise:
"Oh. motber, my bathing suit leaks !"
Harper's Weekly.
Hlataa In tbe ICmtagemcnt.
"Out engagement will have to be
temporarily suspended," announced the
summer girl, calmly.
"Oh, Impossible," the young muu
vowed.
"It wUl have to be. My husband
writes that he is coming down for n
week." Louisville Courier-Journal.
Nothing Lackluar.
"Is yosr new flat thoroughly up to
date?"
"Yes? It has all the modern Inconven
iences." SAVED BABY LYON'S LITE.
Awful Sight from that Dreadful Corn
plaint, Infantile Eczema Mother
Praises Cuticura Remedies.
"Our baby had that dreadful com
plaint, Infantile Eczema, which afflict
ed him for several months, commen
cing at the top of his head, and at Inst
covering his whole body. Ills suffer
ings were untold and constant misery,
hi fact, there was nothing we would
not have done to have given him re
lief. We finally procured a full set of
the Cuticura Remedies, and in about
three or four days he began to show
a brighter spirit and really laughed,
for the first time in a year. In about
ninety days he was fully recovered,
l'raise for the Cuticura Remedies has
always been our greatest pleasure, and
there Is nothing too good that we could
say in their favor, for they certainly
saved our baby's life, for he was the
most awful sight I ever beheld prioi
to the treatment of the Cuticura Reme
dies. Mrs. Maebelle Lyon, 1820 Apple
ton Ave, rarsous, Kan., July IS, 100o."
Inherited.
Vincent was altogether too garrulom
in school to please his teachers. Sucl
punishments as the Institution lIowe '
to be meted out were tried without nn
apparent effect uin the boy, until a'
Inst the head master decided to mentioi
the lad's faults upon his monthly re
port.
So tho next report to his father had
those words : t
Vincent talks a great deal."
Rack came the report by mall, dulj
signed, but with this written In rei)
Ink Tinder the comment : '
"You ought to hear his mother."
Marriage Failure.
Formerly a certain" social ban, severe
on the few but salutary on the many,
rested on the man or woman whose
marriage had turned out a failure. It
has become the fashion to speak of
breaking the bonds of marriage in as
light a way as though one merely cut
out from n bridge table. The World
uud His Wife.
Tbe German government profited lasl
year over $10,000,000 by its postal, tele
graphic and telephone systems.
NERVOUS DEBILITY
.A Scranton Woman Tells How Dr.
Williams' Pink Pills Made Her
Well and Strong.
Nervous debility is the common name
for wha the doctors terra iienrastheiiio.
It is characterized by lnontal depression,
Ms of the "blues," or melancholy, loss
of energy aud spirits. The patient's eyes
become dull, the pink fades from the
cheeks, the memory becomes defective so
that it is difficult to retail dates and
names at will. Some of these symptoms
ouly may bo present or nil of them. The
remedy lies in toning np tho nervous
system and there is no medicine better
adapted for this purpose than Dr
Williams' Pink Pills.
Mrs. Jnno J. Dnvies, of No. 814 War
ran street, Bcianton, l'a., says: " Some
years ngo I became greatly reduced in
health and strength and my nervous
system became so debilitatt il that I felt
wretched. I could not rest or sleep well
at night and woko up ns veiny and
languid iu the morning as I was when
veut to bed. My hind nehed in the
morning and often there was n pain in
my right kide which was worse when I
sat down. My nerves were on edge nil
the time, every liltlo noiso bothered me
aud I was generally miserable. Then 1
decided to try Dr. Williams' Pink Pills
for Palo People, ns my husband bad taken
them Willi good results, and they dij
wonders for me. Now I have no more
pain in my side, no more headaches, J
sleep well and loci strong nnd able to
do my work."
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills rnred Mrs.
Daviea aud they can do just as much
for other weak, pale, niling men oi
women who are slipping into u hopelesi
decline. They strike straight ut the root
of all common di senses caused by pooi
and impoverished blood.
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are sold by eh"
ruggistH. or Mill bo wnt postpaid, u
receipt of price, CO cents per lox, si)
boxes far fjXO, l.v tho Dr. Williams'
Aliuiieiue Co., Schuuuctady, N.Y.
iSpr
end
I . - ... ... I . . I
SHREWD UNCLE SAM.
By Lieut.
Russia would like to borrow ?;ii;0,0H0,0iK. If
Russia had held on to Alaska until now, and
the world had become to know ns much of Its
value as a Russian possession as It does now
when It Is nn American possession, 6he could
sell half of It for the loan she desires to make
$00,000,000. Uncle Sam would not sell
Alaska for $1,000,000,000, yet he paid only
$7,1200,000, less than forty years ngo.
Your Uncle Sam has always driven n good bargain
whenever he has gone IntoAhe real estate business. That
was a good bargain when, more than 100 years ngo, he
took over the Northwest territory. That Is worth quite a
number of billions now, but he paid a small price. Then
look at that bargain he made In 1803, when he closed
the Louisiana Purchase. He paid $15,000,000 Tor that,
but would now refuse, with scorn, tlfty billions for the
name territory and what Is on It. Then came tho Alaska
deal.
A few years ngo Undo Sam had occasion to shove
Spain out of the Philippines, but as he saw the old party
hobbling away from the islands be felt sorry for her
end dropped a few gold pieces, $120,0(10,000 or such a
matter, Into her trembling hand. It was a mere net of
kindness; Uncle Sam was under no "obligations to give a
penny, but he has done so well In previous land deals
he felt bo could show pity.
If you think Uncle Sam didn't make n good bargain lu
the Philippines, drop around to his real estate otllce
thirty-five years from now and make him a test offer for
tho Islands. The prediction Is made that he would say
lie now nnd then buys real estate but hasn't nny to sell.
And he might add that If he really wanted to sell the
Philippines he might let them go at $2,000,000,000. That
la not a rash guess.
COUNTRY CHILD'S INHERITANCE.
By Juliet V. Strcusa.
awnui Jill iMMWHWT
There Is something in the heart of
n child thnt responds ecstatically to
the primitive. The animal kingdom
seems to charm them. Perhaps this
is the call of the wild still faintly
heard In enrs not yet quite used to
the brazen clangor of civilization. It
Is the tree call, the wind call, nil of
the passionately beautiful signals,
sounded from the myriad lips of na
ture like "the horns of elflnnd faint
ly blowing."
JU1J.ET v. htrauss. We used to put a rope or chain
around the haycock nnd hitch old "Pete" to It. Some
body rode old Pete, aud the rest of us. Just a tangle of
yellow curls, fat, brown legs, sparkling blue eyes nnd
maybe some garlands of "bouncing Pet and black-eyed
Bui'," rode on the haycocks. It wasn't nt all n thrifty
method of getting In hay, this stopping every now and
then to pick up a youngster who had fallen oh. There
would have been flue picking for gleaners after we got
through our work.
When I look nt the old barn now It seems terribly
DREAMS.
I hate the dreams I sometimes have, in
which
I soem to be renowned or wise or rich.
I hate thrin, not because I do not sisli
Tor wisdom and a station that is Ii I irli.
I hute audi dreams because they always
make
Me feel so humble when I have to wake,
I do not care to dream that I have found
Where youth's sweet- fountain bubble
from the ground,
Because w!w s-Ke jJr i&sm -dee5 I a'.rays
know.
I'2'en as I bend to uuaff. that thev will co
And leave me with the years I carry now
And witu the graying locks upon my
brow.
Rut there are dreams from which I wake
with glee,
Tho dreams in which wild beasts get after
me.
Tho dreams wherein I lose my job, and
those
In which I am deprived of all my clo's,
And have to piss where people may be-
hold
To wake from these surpasses fame and
gold.
Chicago Hecord-IIorald.
Ml f
I lllinOT l nmnnri I
8 ALr.lUai A yUAHKtL g
i m
HEY stood in front of a portrait
II In the Art Institute. . No one else
was In tho gallery and the guard
uaa lundly turned his back. She slip
ped ner hand Into his.
"Do yot remember what anniversary
nits Is, dear " she a.ked.
"Yes. Does it seem as long to you?"
"Two whole weeks and an hour!
The rice Isn't out of my bat yet. In
all that time we've not had a single
quarrel. Ned, do you think we shall
ever quarrel?"
"Never. No one could quarrel with
you, desr."
"Oh, I'm sure It would be my fault
If we ever disagreed and and I should
throw my arms around your neck and
beg your forgiveness."
"Say, I wish that guard would stay
with his back turned that way. That's
the trouble with guards; they are apt
to look at the wrong time,
"Ned, you could never have loved any
one else as you do me?"
"Of course not."
"Put perhaps you have been on earth
Before. Oh. Ned, you don't think you
could have loved another lu same pre
cxlstence, do jou?"
"Certainly not."
"Are you sure?"
"I ought to know, If I waj there."
"Yea, that's true. Yet sometimes a
doubt comes Into my neart."
"Never doubt my love for you, dear.
Look at this picture."
"It remluds me of some one I've
Been."
"Yes, it looks Just like Daisy Flem
ing." "You are quick to see the likeness. No
doubt you knew her very well."
"Yes, Indeed. Daisy and 1 had some
good times."
"I suppose so," coldly.
"Now, don't get Jealous. A man can
like a girl and not want to to marry
her, you know."
"Indeed! You speak aa If you had
thought about marrylig her. Of courts
Col. J. A. Wairous.
ONLY ARTISTS
It's nothing to me. Oh, Ned, tell me tho
worst. Did did you ever kiss her?"
"Now, dear, you nre foolish."
"Tel line the truth, Ned. I can bear
it."
'How can a fellow remember whom
he has kissed "
"Edward, for shame! As if 1 didn't
remember when you "
"So do I. You were sweet enough to
eat."
"Did you ever make love to her?"
"Oh, a fellow l.s bound to be soft and
moonshiny sometimes "
"You needn't say any more. I know
it all. A moonlight night "
"No, It wasn't. It was raining cats
and dogs "
"There, you have confessed:"
"To what?"
"To to Its raining aud and other
V.ilngs."
"I remember we were running for
shelter and she slipped and fell right
Into tny arms "
"They were ready for her. no' doubt."
"Well, n fellow can't let a girl tall,
on a night like that. Come to think of
It, she held to me "
"Ihe brazen thing! I never did like
her."
"Oh. she was sweet and prottv as the
dickens. I told her I'd a notion to kiss
her."
She was willing, I suppose. That
kind usually are."
"No, she wasn't. She said I didn't
dare. Of course, after that well, a fel
low can t take a dare from u girl as
pretty as Daisy."
"Oh, I knew It I knew it. We have
been too happy! If If ouly It hadn't
"just like daisy nrnjiNa:
happened on our anniversary! To think
you might have married her!"
"No, I couldn't"
"Ned, how do you know that? Did
you ask her?"
"No-o, because she believed lu Dia
tonic friendship until she married an
other fellow."
"Then you never really loved her7"
"Never."
"Do you think you would have mar-
rled nny one but me, If I had never
been born?"
"Never."
"And you don't admire tUU plctoief"
small compared with the spaciousness It presented to
ns In those days. What a climb It seemed baud over
hand up the chinks In .the logs and Into the mow ! What
a daring feat to coon r.eross the middle bean, which
seemed a mile above the floor! How little we must have
been to accomplish two separate flops In n handspring
from that beam Into the sweet smelling hay freshly gar
nered In that old mow !
Such nn abundance of life was nil about us, such beau
tiful little nnlmal babies were there to be loved and
cuddled, though to be snre the lambs we had so desper
ately loved were by this time too big to carry nlniut and
had been ruthlessly curtailed, though we had tearfully
vowed they shouldn't be; the little old wobbly calves
were big nnd rough, and the colls losing their Infantile
graeelossncss, for little colts have the nwwnrd age early
In life.
Life lu the country Is full of such adventures for happy
children, full of fun nnd frolic and of Idyllic pleasures
fo be remembered and appreciated In years of sober care
nnd struggle. The rich farm with Its vast corn fields
never yielded mo anything, but one poor little hilly home
stead, with lis scant crops, gave me nn Inheritance that
nolHidy enn take away. The memory, of n happy child
hood, free nnd untainted, Is n talisman to carry torch-like
Into the shadows that are not really there, but are the
creations of dimming eyes and failing senses.
HAVE A SENSE OF BEAUTY.
By . F. Benson.
The eye. ear. and general perceptive faculty
of the ordinary person Is so dull that be can
not see, bear, or appreciate auythlng whatever
until the benutles of It have been pointed out
to him by one of those Interpreters of color
nnd sound who are cnllcd artists. As a gen
eral rule, iu fact, we do not perceive beauty
at nil until we llrmly and repeatedly lire In
formed that the object In question Is possessed
of It. Sometimes it Is artists themselves who show It
us, sometimes it Is that class of Interpreter-artists who
are called critics who point It out. Put without such
guiding hands the public never sees anything.
Who was it discovered Wagner? Not Wagner,
for when he first blazed on the musical horizon he was
undetected ; he needed his Interpreter. And, to put It
broadly, the Interpreter was Rlchter. Rossini and Vcrdl
and Dlabelll had been Interpreted ; the eye openers with
regard to them were in every opera house. A new Inter
preter was wanted. Rlchter, in fact, was the Interpreter
to the ear ns regards' Wagner, Just ns Rembrandt was
the Interpreter to the eye as regarded the middle class
in the low countries.
The ordinary ruck of mankind do not see or hear any
thing nt nil until they nre held down to the object In
question, until they acknowledge It Is beautiful. Rut
tlint artistic pressure being relaxed, they fall back again.
It Is not so long ago that sunsets were .thought beautiful.
Rut who looks at sunsets now? Nobody; because Rus
kin's hold that collared us and made us look at Turner's
pictures has been relaxed, and even the discovery of
new aud inimitable canvases n routed only a temporary
enthusiasm. In fact, the eye openers have not only to
open our eyes, but to prop them open afterwards.
"Not a bit. It doesn't look like any
lh!ng. It Isn't one, two, three."
"Put you said "
"Oh. nt first glance. Put now It Just
looks IlUe like paint; nnd. darling, tho
guard has gone Into the other room"
Chicago Daily News.
nvennoo
The London physician's discovery
that scars may be prevented or re
moved by cutting the skin slantwise
trs'.cad of vertically is pronounced one
of the most Important of reeeut ad
vances in surgery.
Caterpillars have been found to be
greatly asltated bv musical vibrations.
'.Uveein'.ing from a tree in a shower nt
t!:t sound of a cornet. This should
suggest an effective means of lighting
the gypsy moth and other caterpillar
plagues.
French mronnulic authorities have
given the name "leronef." or aviation
apparatus, to a flying machine that U
heavier than the nlr. The varieties In
clude: (1) the helicopter, sustained
and driven by one or several propellers;
(-) the icropl.tne. chiefly sustained by
one or more flat or curved surfaces, and
(3) the orthopter or mechanlal bird,
sustained and propelled by beating
wings.
A growing evil reported by Dr. Aba
Szfuukay among the Slovaks of Upper
Hungary Is the habitual use of cam
phor Internally. For fourteen years he
has persistently questioned buyers of
the drug, and he concludes that at
least twenty-five per cent of the In ran
and Increasing nmouut sold Is used by
Ihe camphor-caters. An Increase hi
epilepsy seems to be n result of this in
dulgence. Flaming nre lights have now become
an established feature of dowutown
Chleniri streets. They nre new, com
paratively, for such commercial pur
poses, but their principle has long been
known. The flaming arcs thus far
shown In this country produce a light
yellow, red or vivid white light, ac
cording to the carbons used. The ad
dition tit the suits of fluoride, bromide
nnd Iodide of lime five the liv'ht the
yellow tint, while oilier salti of time
give the flam: a red color.
An Important mo lias liecn found for
fhe Cooper Hewitt mercury vapor lamp
iu scientific line.. ligation. In optica!
experiments lu the laboratory It Is
ol'le.i impii'taul tii have nt command a
monochromatic lijilit. Formerly the
mercury nre light was employed far
tills purpjse. hut after being used for a
sh irt time the c.Iielcucy of this source
of light sei-li.iHl.v falls i, IT. It has been
futiiid. however, that the Conner
Hewitt lamp les the same monochro
matic 11'ht, with very line rays, so that
it It admirably ciilted for tho study of
lu'erferein e pheii une in, and it jmis-
souses the great advantage of being
stady and trustworthy In Its output.
Moreover, being a commercial appara
tus. It Is easily obtained, and can
used at a comparatively smull expense.
Not I'.yerr llullrl Kouuil Hm Kill..
Of the 4.i;i.0) bullets fired bv th
Pusstiins during fhe Ci liiieuu war 4t.
U.V.MHKI failed to fulfil their errand
of death
THE PATH TO
The narrow pnth that we used to tread
Led straight away from the farmyard gate,
Ad down the lane to the pasture lot,
Where for our coming the cows would wait.
Between Its borders of grass and weeds
It bore tho prints of our restless feet.
That stepped so blithe through the early dews.
Or lagged along lu the pulsing heat
Above our heads curved a roof of blue,
Where oft wo saw the ghost of the moon
Go drifting by with the sun tipped clouds
That tailed away to the port of noon.
Prom nodding thistle nnd mullein stalk
Tho meadow larks through tho summer sang jT
And from the stubblo of harvest fields '.
The bob white's call through the stillness rang, f
O little path of the toug ngo,
I've wandered far from your beaten dust.
And stumbled oft In my Journeys wide.
And lost the key to my childish trust;
Rut now nnd then In my waking dreams
I stand once more by the pasture wall,
And hear again from the harvest fields
The cheerful sound of the boh white's call.
-New YerU Sun.
8?
so
ONLY A GOVERNESS
N advertisement that appeared
one day In the Morning Post In
formed an Interested world tint
Mrs, Mandevllle-Joncs required a gov
erne.i:i for her younger daughter, nged
13, with the mention of a salary iden
tical with the wages that Mrs. Maude-vllle-Jones
jald her under housemaid.
Reggie Fulwarton. who knows every
body, spotted tho advertisement at
once, and In the smoking room of the
Hookah Club, called tho attention of
one of his pals to Its seductive offers.
"What I You don't know Mrs. Mande-vllle-Jones?
Why, old Jones was pro
prietor of some patent medicine or oth
er. Regular old bounder. And she's
too awful for words! Rut he's safely
planted underneath the daisies, while
she's got a house In Berkeley square
and plenty of the needful ! So there
you nre!"
Nevertheless, Mrs. Mandevllle-Jones
had plenty of Answers to her advertise
ment from applicant to undertake the
education of Miss Irene Mandevllle
Joncs at 13 a year.
Among the rest was n dark girl of
about 20, very simply dressed In mourn-
fng, whose appearance attracted the
mamma of Miss Irene, because she look
ed meek and snirbbable, and was neith
er too good looking nor too well dressed
for a "governess pereou."
' Mrs. Mnndevlllo-Jonos elicited the
fact that her name wna Una Carew;
that her father, who had been rector ot
a remoto Cornish Tillage, had Intely
died, leaving her mother and herself
very badly off; uud that she had decid
ed to take a situation ns governess,
whilo her mother went to live with Im
brother In the north of England, who
could not take both of them In.
"And you have references?" Inquired
Mrs. Maudevllle-Jonea,
"I have n letter from Lady Ched
gtave," said Una, timidly, handing It
to the lady ns she spoke.
"Lady Chedgrave!" said Mrs. Muude-Tllle-Jones,
suspiciously. "I thought
the present earl wus a widower!"
"This la from the Dowager Lady
Chcdgrnve," explained Cna, hastily.
"She lives In our vlllago nnd has known
uie all my life."
The handwriting of a downger coun
tess did not fall te Impress Mrs. Jones'
mind, and she decided U engage Miss
Carew as tbe Instructress of her belov
ed Irene, who was a finely developed
specimen of the genus "spoiled child."
Una Oarew, who had always- been
used to being petted and made much of
ot home, found her life lu tho Berkeley
square mansion anything but a bed of
rosea. The ostentation and vulgarity
of tho whole establishment and U occu
pants Jarred upon her.
But unfortunately there was another
tiling which preyed upon her nilnd.
Nearly a year before her father's death
Lord Laugley, tho eldest sou of the
Karl of Chedgrave, whom she had
known ever since they were boy and
girl together, bad come to her ami usk
ed her to marry him.
But Una knew what a hot-tempered
and eccentric old man Lord Chedgrave
was; aud tlwugh he had always been
extremely kind to her, and oven made
a sort of pet of her, she knew be would
never dream of accepting her us a
daughter-in-law. In fuet. bo had defi
nitely said that'hls sou must marry an
heiress, and thnt if he disobeyed him
Cud married a pauper they might sweep
A crossing, for they would never get a
penny of allowance out of him.
And fo she bad told her ardent suitor
that she would never marry him. In
consequence he bud gone off to the
Rockies In search of tho grizzly. But
poor Una, having got rid of her lover,
with feminine perversity longed for
til n to come back ; and when sho saw
n paragraph stating that Lord Langley
vns bringing home an American heiress
ss hi bride she began to lie awake et
PI-KAIllNO flltf SUIT.
THE PASTURE.
83
$4
night wondering why the universe was
not run on a totally different plan.
One day, however, there appeared a
new misfortune. Irene announced that
ber brother Bertie, nged 2, was coming
back from a protracted tour on the con
tinent. And he proved to be very much
tho sort of little bounder that sho had
expected. What Una had not antici
pated, however, was that, finding a
"doosld pretty girl" established under
the maternal roof, he felt It his duty
to wtart "spooning."
Now Una Onrew was hy no means so
deilcleirt In spirit as Mrs. Jones had
Imagined; and when Mr. Bertie began
pnylug her bis somewhat exaggerated
attentions, she had no hesitation In
snubbing him heartily.
Bertio himself was surprised and
disgusted to And that a mere governess
was not prepared to accept him quite
nt his own valuation ; and be took coun
sel with a bosom friend at the club.
"Fact, I assure you, dear boy! Spend
till my time mukln' eyes at her, don't
you know; nnd don't get a bit for
rader !"
Fulwarton looked up. "Oh, the
'Balmy Bounder' relating his con
quests! Rough on the girl, anyhow!" he
said to himself.
"Why didn't you try her with
gloves?1'
"Just what I did! Hanged If sho
didn't tell me she had plenty of her
own, nnd didn't want any of mlnol"
'And what did you sny to thatf
"Told her I should never have guess
ed It from personal observation. Ha!
ha! ha!"
"Infernal little end! He wants kick
ing!" murmured Reggie to his cigar.
"Gad! You should havo seen the
way she blazed up! Thought she was
going to hit me over the head with her
parasol! Hang It all, she needn't give
herself suoh airs, If her name is Una
On row! She's only a governess, after
iirtr
A tolegram that Fulwarton wrote
wns addressed to Lord L-angley at a
hotel In Paris, nnd contaiucd only two
words: "Wanted Run."
Tho fact that Lord Langlcy had been
I'ulwnrton's fng at Eton may possibly
account for tho curious wording or the
message. As soon as Langley arrived
In London ho went straight to Fulwar
ton's chambers to ask him what ho
meant by dragging him away from the
Clay City with such a peromptory wire.
"First of all, old chap, about that
American heiress whom wo have seen
darkly hinted at in vnrlous papers?"
"A mere llgraent of the fertile Jour
nalistic Imagination! I hope to heaven
you haven't dragged me all this way
merely to hoar mo deny such an obv'l
ous 'duck' as that!"
"Not exactly ! Tho next question Is
What about Utm Carew?"
"My dear Reggie, after her father's
death she went away somewhere ns a
governess. But all my efforts to trace
hir have failed!"
"And yon nre still ?"
"You Infernal Idiot! Of course, I
am still ns you grncofully put It. Only,
as you know, sho refused me!"
"All right Supposing I could tell
you where she Is?"
"You don't rnlly moan '.t; Reggie?"
"Well, look here. You know the Man-devillo-Jones
lot?"
"I've heard of them."
"Very woll. That's whore Una Ca
rew Is doing tho 'Jane Eyre' turn! And
the 'Balmy Bounder' himself la trying
to Introduce a llttlo sunshine Into her
existence!
The next day when Lord Langley
called In Berkeley square and asked to
see Miss Carow, the pompous butler In
formed him that she was walking lu
Ilydo Park with Miss Irene.
Hi Jumped into u hansom und dashed
off to seo if he could find her there, but
hot before his card bad been secured
by the butler, who In due course laid
it boforo Mrs. Jones. Now It so hap
pened that a friend of the latter lady
caught tilght of Ip'iie In the park, and
bore her off to tea, leaving Una Carew
with tho afternoon to herself.
By n singular coincidence Mr. Bertie
Jones happened to come upon ber In a
solitary portion of the park, aud seized
tho oimortuulty of being more than
usually pressing lu his attentions.
Things had actually got to the stago
wbe;. Unit bad begun to raise ber voice
in uliinn, when Mr. Bertie Jones sud
denly found himself seated In a freshly
watered flmver bed, while a particular
ly athletic looking young gentlemnn
tucked Una's trembling arm In tils and
marched her off In another direction.
The next morning, however, Lord
Langley, In spite of the protests of the
butler. Insisted on seeing M'.sj Carew.
He then proceeded, as eloquently as ha
knew how, to plead his suit.
But Uuu wus still tlmi In her refusal.
being convinced that It would mln him
prospects la the eyes of bis father.
Lord Lsngley was just Beginning m
wonder whether by any chance she can
ed for some one else, when the door wu
thrown open and the butler announced i
"The Bar I of Chedgrave 1"
"Una, my dear," he begaa, "how d'yaj
do? Come And kiss me! Langley, yon
Imfernal young scoundrel, wbat are yon'
dong here, sir? What's that? Do
understand you to say that yon are
making an offer of marriage to Miss
Carew? You dare to tell me that to!
my very face?"
"But, father, she has refused me 1"
"Refused you? Then, by gad, shy
she Is a sensible girl She evidently!
knows you are a worthless young fool.
or you would bave proposed to ber aJ
year ago!"
"But I did, sir; and ske refused mol
then, too!"
"Better and better! Hanged If
don t marry the girl myself I Una, my
dear, will you marry mef
Poor Una was thoroughly puzzled byi
this new aspect of the slA man, butj
he went briskly on :
"Now, look here, my dear, yon hnvAj
got to choose between the old fool and,1
the young fool. Which will you have?
Don't mind saying that you prefer to
have me as a father -la-law. If that's.
how you feci About It Langley, yon
Id;ot, why don't you kiss the girt, while
I do tbe heavy father 1a tbe back
ground?"
When this bad been duly carried out,1
Langley, who was still lost In as ton
Ishment, remarked, "But I thought, sir,
you always said I must marry an
heiress?"
"So I did. Because I knew what an
infernally obstinate young fool yon
were! But I meant you all along to
marry Una ! So now It Is all settled !"
At this point the door was again
thrown open, and this time Mrs. Man
devllle-Jones stalked in and at once be
gan: "My dear Lord Chedgrave "
"Pardon me, madam, for Interrupting
you!" said his lordship, ;wke was now
fairly bubbling over with excitement
"You were good enough to write to me
about my son's movements. Allow me
to say that my son Is quite capable of
taking care of himself. Aud in tbe fu
ture be will have the assistance of the
lady to whom hitherto you bave en
trusted the education of your doubtless
charming daughter!" Modern Society.
SECRET 8T0RE CODE.
Warnlnga ITaed to Slftntil Presence of
Shoplifters lu OiA Emporium.
There was a crowd of customers be
fore the woman's hosiery counter. Thai
salesgirl who said "Two on ten" to
the clerk next to ber had been busy
for twenty minutes with a customer, a
handsomely dressed young woman, to
whom she had been showing expect.
sive silk hosiery.
Tbe young woman nad been more.
than ordinarily difllcult to please, and!
the space in front of bet was strewn
with boxes. She did not seem satis
fied with nny that were shown her,
and described several designs, each of;
which necessitated more or less search
through tbe stock on the part of the,
clerk.
It was perhaps three minutes before
tho salesgirl again faced the customer
with several more boxes. StIU appa
rently dlBsatlsBed, the bandsomelyi
dressed young woman examined then
indifferently, thuuklng the clerk, and
said she woull look farther.
Just as she rose to go Miss Brown
reminded Miss Smith of the new lot,
that hnd Just been received, but which'
had not yet been placed lu stock.
"Are you sure?" asked Miss Smith.;
' "Yes, I saw them," replied Miss
Brown. "Just wait a moment; I'll
ask the floor walker to show tbcra to
you." 1
"Two on ten. Miss Brown?, Sure?
Very well. This way, madam," said
the floor walker, beckoning Miss
Brown to follow them. '
"I see her finish," remarked another,
of the women customers to her com-:
panlon, nodding her head in tho dlree-'
tlon the handsomely dressed young'
woman hnd gone. "I used to work in
a dry goods store beforo I got married,'
and It seems kind of good to hear that
familiar expression, 'two on ten' again.
"What does It mean? Why, two
eyes on ten fingers. That woman was
a shoplifter. The girl suspected her,
and gave the signal and bad ber dead
to rights In no time." New York
Post.
Strlctlr Cerra-Proof.
The antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic
Pup
plnylng In the tardea when the
Bunny gamboled up ;
looked upon the Creature with a,
loathing undisguised
Were
They
It wasn't Disinfected sod it wasn't Ster
ilized. They said it was a Microbe sod a Hotbed
of Disease,
They steamed it in a vtpor of a thousand
odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cohl
as Banished Hops,
Aud washed It in permanganate with car-
bolated soap.
In sulfureted hydrogen they steeped its
wiKsly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a
a pair of hard-boiled idiears;
They donned their rubber mittens and
they took It by the hand
And Meoted it a member of the Fumigated
Band.
There's not a Micrococcus In the garden
where they play ;
They swim lu pure iodoform a dozen
times a day ;
Aud each Imhibca his rations from a Uy
sleuie Cup
Tho Bunny nnd the Baby aud the Pro
phylactic Pup.
--Woman's Home Companion.
Provluir 111 Proverb.
"He makes uie so augry," remarked
Miss Bute; "he's forever remnrklng to
me that 'beuuty Is only skin deeft,"
"And when you get angry,' re
marked Miss Chellus, "It Just shows
him how thlu-skluned you are!" Stray
i Stories.
! Listen to two women tuik. and on
will say within five minutes that ber
hnlr conies out by the hnndsful.
In a d'-y time there Is netting bettor
' thuu g.xid rata