Not an Kncltsh PnllilnR.
Tito Irlili rebuke Is seldom bitter or
priggish, but It itpner.illy flnda It
11 n rk. mid onwlilcli the lmilon Star
records Is nut an exception.
A snobbish young F.iiKllshmnn, ae-romp.-iniod
by n small die. reeently
(tl Into a street car and rut down
opposite an Irishman. The loiter was
Immediately attracted by Hie animal,
and After some ndvanees. which were
tnuulitily reeclvod by the mauler, ask
ed outright what kind of a dog It was.
"It la a cross between an ape and
an Irishman." was the loud voiced re
ply. '
"Vallh, thin, we're both related to
h' baste.'' retorted the Irishman,
cheerfully.
Wllllac to Learn.
There won nothing to be seen eiccpt
the traditional cloud the size of a
niHii'a hand. Yet the captain mado
haste fo shorten anil. Hoon the atorm
billet In all It fury.
When the sky was onep more bright
and the raptnln was at leisure one of
the passenger approached him revcr
entiiilly. "Kxcuse me, captain," he aald, "but
low did you know It was coming? I'm
connected with the wot her bureau
and I wIkIi you'd give me Home points
New York Time.
A Heart Htory.
Polsnm, S. I). In these dnya when
ao ninny sudden deaths are reported
from Heart Failure nnd various forme
of Heart Disease, It will be good news
to many to learn that there la a never
falling remedy for every form of Heart
Trouble.
Mr. II. t). Hyde, of thin place, was
troubled for years with a pain In her
heart wlilch distressed her a great
deal. She hnd tried many remedies,
but had not Kiiccccdcd in llndlng any
thing that would help her until at last
alie began a treatment of Dodd'a Kid
ney Tills and tills very soon relieved
her and she has not had A single pain
or any distress In the region of the
heart since. She Hays: "I cannot say
too much In praise of Dodd'a Kidney
Tills. They are the greatest heurt
medicine I have ever used. I wus
troubled for over three yeura with a
severe pain In my heart, which entirely
disappeared after a short treatment of
Dodd'a Kidney Pills."
Tribes Dying Out.
The census of 1001 reveals that the
Australian aboriginal In dying out In
1778, the year of settlement. Governor
riillllp estimated the native popula
tion at 1.000,000. To-day It numbers
only 47,000. The aboriginal Is extinct
In Tasmania, almost so in Victoria,
and in New South Wales be numbers
less than 4.000. i
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES color
more goods, brighter colors, with leg
work than others.
CHINESE CARPENTER'S FEAT.
Method of Mending Hole In a Floor
Astonished Caucasian.
"Did you ever get a Chinese car
penter to stop up a hole In the floor?"
asked one fiat dweller of another. The
other had to admit that he had not,
ays the New York Times. Then the
first proceeded to tell his wonderful
tale, which the listener would not be
lieve until he tried an oriental for the
same purpose the next month.
"There was a worn place In the
Boor that needed patching and 1
thought I'd show my wife what a car
penter I was, so I sawed a square sec
tion of the plnnka out. Hut I cut
my hand the first minute and had to
end for the Chinaman, who has a
, shop right around the corner. When ha
got to the door he grunted something
that sounded like It might mean
Where?1 and I pointed to the square
bole In a dark corner.
"'Wow,' he said as he squinted at
It a minute. Then he turned around
jmd walked out. I thought well, I
didn't know what to think, I wa so
amazed. I couldn't understand his
giving up such a simple job. I was
till puzzling over It half an hour
later when I heard n knock. He said
'wow, or soino other word like It and
held up a square board. Then lie
walked over to the dark corner of the
room and what do you think? He
put the square In and It fitted just ns
If It bad grown there. And heJiad just
taken a peep at the bole from where
be was standing In the door."
The flat dweller's tale Is no fairy
tory. That's the way a Chinese car.
penter stops a hole In the floor.
HAS A 8AY.
lba School Principal Talks About Food.
The Principal of a High (School In a
flourishing California city says:
"For 23 years I worked In the hebool
with only short summer vacations. I
formed the habit of eating rapidly,
masticated poorly, which coupled with
my sedentary work led to lndlgestiou,
liver trouble, lame back and rheuma
tism. "I'pon consulting physicians somo
doped me with drugs, while others pre
scribed dieting and sometimes I got
temporary relief, other times not. For
1-' years I struggled along with this
handicap to my work, seldom laid up,
but often a burden to myself with
lameness and rheumatic pains.
"Two years ago I met an old friend,
physician who noticed at once my
out-of health condition and who pre
scribed for me an exclusive diet of
Grape-Xuts, milk and fruit.
"1 followed bis Instructions and In
two mouths I felt like a new man
with 110 more headaches, rheumutls 11
or liver trouble and from that time to
this Crape-Nuts Las b 'en my main
food for morning nnd evening meals,
tiu stronger and h al'hier than I have
been for year without a truce of the
old troubles.
Judging from my i r.snt vigorous
physical nnd mental state, I tell my
people Methuselah may .'yet have to
take second place among the old men,
for I f-el like I will live a gi at many
more years.
"To all this remarkable change lu
health I am Indebted to my wise friend
and Crape-Nuts and I hope the Postum
Co. will continue to manufacture this
life and health giving food for several
centurt- vet n.-tii j move to a world
where In.'l l mi Is unknown." Name
riven by P fin Co., Battle Creek.
Mich
AMi a- .- ,n what be knowe
tout 1 Those who bar
tried W
Tlie
' rags
' i.M,
WAR WILL MOT INVOLVE UNCLE SAM.
Br W. W. Hoodr. 3:crttarr of the fttvr.
Wo are on friendly terms with
both nations engaged In the war In
the Knst and are attached to each by
n bond of peculiar sympathy. The one
nation endeared herself to the hearts
of the American people by an expres
sion of good will In the days of our sore
trial. Toward the other we occupy al
most the position of a foster mother,
because it was our navy that broke
through the door of her Eastern exelu
slveness and let In the flood of sunlight
of modern civilization. We have do
clured our neutrality in this struggle,
' 1 ,
w
.IV..- , :..:..:
H. MOODT.
and we shall maintain It. Wo have no Interest except thnt
the war may end speedily; we have no concern except that
It may not bring Into the struggle auy of the other nations
which are noto content. I'nder no circumstances that I
can conceive Is there danger to the peace of our own coun
try. Our new navy, which constitute all of the effective
navy of to-day, was begun during the administration of
President Arthur and under the direction of his two sec
retaries of the navy. Hunt and Chandler. It was continued
during the two administrations of President Cleveland un
der the direction of Srcro'.nrios Whitney nnd Herbert. The
lamented Whitney once said:
"This country can afford to have, and It cannot nfford
to hick, a naval force at lc:ist so formidable that Its deal
ings with foreign powers will not be Influenced at any time
nor even be suspected ni being Influenced by a conscious
ness of weakness on the s-vi." And again: "It Is of little
service to a nation to havr any navy at all unless It Is a
fair expression of the highest scientific resources of its
day."
I have not lost hope that the policy of Increasing our
power tiK)n the sea will be maintained, no matter which
party may be In control of the national administration.
MARRYING WITHOUT M3NIY.
0
Theoretically, at least, most people will agree
that to marry solely for worldly gain Is a menu
and despicable deed. Those who apparently mar
ry for money would 1:0 doubt unanimously repel
the accusation with Indignation, and claim that
they have but followed the advice which Tenny
son's northern .armor gave to hi son to "gon
wheer the munny is." Poets and romancers usu
ally portray I lie mercenary suitor as a villain of
the deepest dye, and 11 popular wo. nun's magazine which
recently held a symposium u;ion the subject of what men
most desire In a wife announced triumphantly that of all
tlie men who replied to the query not one mentioned money
as a requisite qualification.
None the less there are a few people, middle-aged and
prudent persons for the most part, who do not hesitate
to aver tbut It Is almost ns bad a thing to marry without
money. These sage e!d"rs have been taught by experience
that dally bread Is nu absolute necessity to life; they have
loomed thnt milk and honey, or what stands for them
nowadays, are not to be had without money and without
price, and they argue that It Is quite as selfish to think
only of the present, and take no thought of the morrow,
careless of others in either case, as It Is to prefer the com
fort of to-morroy to the passion of to-day. No man hns
the right to nsk n woman to marry htm unless he can fitly
cherish her; no woman nhould mnrry her lover, however
eager he may be, when she knows that ho must struggle
to keep his own head above wnter, without the additional
burden of her support. What Is enough for one Is not
ATTACKS THE BIBLE.
Knicliah Canon Calls the Old Testament
u Pack of Lie.
Canon Henson, one of the chief dig
nitaries of Westminster Abbey and a
select preacher of Oxford and Cam
bridge Universities,
England, has
raised a Ktorm of
criticism by the
publication of an
article wherein he
attacks the Inspira
tion of the Old Tes
tament, referring
to Its "Incredible,
puerile or demornl
Icing narratives,"
iitv. u. 11. ui.ninoN. which are regarded
ns being "a pack of lies too gross for
toleration." He declares thnt Inspira
tion I not allowed to certify to tho
truth of any statement lu the ltlble
"which cannot bo substantiated nt the
bar of reason and evidence." In the
New Teatnmcnt he finds little to offend
reasou or conscience, "but, whether
much or little, It will have to go the
way of the Old Testament prodigies."
In an analysis of the present social
condition, Canon I Ion son attributes the
spread of anarchy, the "ulcer that Is
eating the vitals of society," to the
disappearance over largo areas of civil
ized life of "the religious basis of mo
rality." Vet he find an excuse for
these "nonmoral multitudes" who
"from the cradle to the grave have
faced the severe pressure of competi
tion, the squalor and poverty and the
miserable exigencies of unmerited
want," and who "inevitably compare
their condition with the ostentation of
unearned wealth, the profusion and
unchecked luxury and tho lnsoleuce of
unchastened power."
The canou stiys that when It Is re
membered that theBe "cruel, shocking
contrasts are no longer regarded with
the dull stare of fatalistic Ignorance,
but lu tho full light of those doctrines
of equality which are tho common
places of democratic politics? It Is no
wonder that "the minds of thousands
are predisposed toward the sophistries
of anarchy."
"It would be idle to deny," lie con
cludes, "that the credit of the Scrip
tures Is seriously shaken In the public
mind, nor can It reasonably be doubted
that tho tendencies of popular life :
at present prevailing are In the main
hostile to Christian tradition."
A BOYS' COOKING CLASS.
Thirty-two stalwart young men.
some over six feet high, have formed
themselves Into a cooking class, which
Is probably the only tustitutlou of its
kind lu the world.
All of the boys belong to the Orange,
N. J., high school, and the cooking
clasa meet after school hours. In
quiries have come from England con
cerning it, and similar classes are to
be sUrted there. The class has been
lu exlsteuce over a year, and tbe pu
pil are athletic young fellows who
have no Idea of taking tbe places of
cooks, but who want to shine at sum
mer camps, where the gentler sex Is
toot present
Good, rdaln. old-fashioned fare 1
r"1 h dMiea are isd no
enough for two, romancer to the contrary notwithstand
ing. Mathematics Is the one and only exact science, and
by no possible process of calculation, can the half equal
the whole. Love In a cottnge may be charming, but it can
not be maintained without the wherewithal to pay the rent.
It Is a good biblical doctrine, as well as sound common
sense, to undertake nothing without counting the cost.
They who trust to the morrow to care for the things of
Itself are apt, a the saying Is. to "get left." It I only In
story books that when the hero and heroine fall to make
both ends met they Inherit a fortune or some long lost
relative turns up In the nick of time. In real life such luck
Is so rare as to be regarded as phenomennl.
HOW TO ENCOURAGE TEMPERANCE.
Br Carrotl D. Wright. Commissioner of tabor.
V m
aV?7
r lVTWlf;N
im. u r km
HI
CABK01.1. v. wiuoiiT duty should not be employed. It was
soon seen that this meant nothing whatever, and so the
next movement was to prohibit the employment of men
who were habitual drinkers even In slight degree.
This movement has spread over the country. The pub
lic Is interested as much ns the railroads themselves. The
sufety of travel and the avoidance of disaster concerns
the whole people, and thus the economic value of the prohi
billon has been felt In every direction. It now extends to
private and corporate concerns which desire to run their
establishments with as little friction and as little loss as
possible. The common and statutory laws which make em
ployer liable In some degree and under certain circum
stances for the carelessness of their employes are a most
powerful Incentive to the employment of men with clear
heads. . Thus economically again the movement acquires
strength.
Br Helen Oldtleld.
PRIZE EIGHTS VS.
but when art. Is the thing the purse strings are pulled. In
Philadelphia a prize tight brought out the entire populace,
while my engagement was canceled. Once I thought the
day would never come when the Americans would rather
see a prize fight than hear me sing. I thought I under
stood them and, that they loved me. but it is so different
now. In fact, as I see America with my eyes opened I
find It a most undesirable place. There Is little hero to
commend and a great many things to deplore. I did not
enjoy my tour at all. I am really mortified to think of
how I have been subjected to the prevalent vulgarity of
Americans.
I do not like America as well a I did in former years.
The country hns changed so much, and, really, it has
not changed for the better. '
CRUISER AGA.rO A FLEET.
k4 , Air
The battle of Chemulpo, Korea, In which the Russian cruiser Variag and
the guubont Korleta faced an over-powering Japanese fleet, furnishes one of
the most gallant conflicts against odds in the history of naval warfare.
On tho morning of Feb. l Hear Admiral Urlu, commanding the Japan
ese fleet at the entrance to Chemulpo, notified tho Kussiau that they must
surrender or leave tho harbor at noon. If this demand were not compiled
with, the Japanese admiral stated that ho would enter the harbor and lnk
the Russian vessels where they lay. The Russian commander faced the
situation manfully. The Variag was only n protected cruiser of 0.0(H) tons,
while tho Korletz was of only 1.213 tons displacement, yet he steamed boldly
out of the harbor, the Russian bands playing the national anthem, to meet
the Japanese fleet, which consisted of two battleships, six cruisers, seven
torpedo boats and five torpedo boat destroyers.
The fight which followed was furious, the Are of tho Japanese fleet
being concentrated on the Variag. The ship was riddled until she looked
like a aleve and there was not a gun aboard which could be successfully
worked. When the ship wa on fire, two of her boiler destroyed, her engines
barely workable and 109 officers and men lying dead or dying on the decks
the vessel, accompanied by 10 Korletz, returned to the harbor, where the
Russians, after the dead and Injured and living were removed, sunk the
vessels rather than let them fall Into the hands of the Japanese. ' The Illus
tration shows the sunken cruiser In the distance, while la the foreground the
neutral ships are picking up the survivors.
In tbe most appetizing manner. Kvery
kind of vegetable and fruit that grows
in the garden, bread, biscuit, old-fashioned
buckwheats, stews, roasts and
soups are prepared by tho boys.
Tho fact that the good things cooked
are eaten by tho chefs, sitting coni-
MIUUYO CAMP CHKra.
fortably at a table where the lady
teacher does tbe honors. Is one of the
reasons why tbe boys enjoy their nov
el lessons, and a larger number of
boys (ban can possibly be Instructed
are clamoring for admission.
Bat for tbe frames some pictures
vtMildu'l be U It
HI
. B i-
The question of Intemperance Is out
which is largely In the handa of em
ployers of labor. When the employer
understands and announces that he can
hlrt a man with a clear head for the
same compensation for which he can
get one with a muddled brain the tera-
perance movement Is subjected to a
force not known by any other method.
It may well be called the dynamics of
the temperance movement and began
on (he railroads a generation ago. first
in orders that men who drank while on
ART. '
Br Adellna Paftl.
Amerlci Is indeed a strange place, and Amer
icans are strange people. Once VI thought the
country was the place for art, but I see now that
artists should never go there. The continent Is
so different. There art is understood by all and
art Is at home. Here art knocks at the door like
a stranger and the public rebuffs It like a beggar.
Americana like prize fights and such things.
They will spend their money to see brutality,
Xo Fourth Part.
A farmer tells of an old Irishman in
his employ whom he once permitted to
make use of certain land for farming
purposes on condition that Pat should
give hi in one-fourth of the crop he
raised.
At the harvesting of the crop the
farmer was amazed to find the Irish
man had not kept tils part of the
irgrcemeut. for whl'e he hauled away
three wagon loads of produce, he had
not xent a single load to his master's
barn.
The farmer called Pat' attention to
the fact that Lo had taken the entire
crop, asking:
"Now, how's that, Pat? Wasn't I
to receive a fourth of the crop?"
"You was. air you was," excitedly
exclaimed the Irishman, "but there's
only three loads, sir; ouly three loads."
Exchange.
A Discovery.
They had beeu discussing the baby's
ears, eyes and nose.
"Aud I think be'a got bl father's
hair," aald the Joyful young mother.
"Ob, Is that who's got It? I no
ticed It was missing," said the girl
who knew her before she waa mar
ried. Exchange.
Tbe average man derives a lot of
pleasure from spoiling some other fel-
low's fno.
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPER8.
Pleasant Incldcnta Occurring the
World Over Payings that Are Cheer
ful to Old or Young funny Helcc
tlona that Everybody Will Enjoy.
"I understand that prima donna
failed to give her farewell concert be
cause she had a cold." .
"Tea," answered the manager.
"How did she contract it?"
"Well, It wasn't an ordinary cold.
It is what la technically known as a
box-office chill." Washington Htar.
The Installment Piano.
"Dolly, why don't you spread out
more over the keyboard when you
play? You always putter around lu
jut about two octaves."
"I knew It, dear, but you ee that's
about all wo own so far, and when I
get off those bound I feel ns If I was
poaching." Detroit Free Tress.
He Was Wise.
-tip
"No, sah. I wouldn't live In dis
town unless dere was oddev nlggnhs
llvln' here, too."
"Why?"
" 'Cos If a white mnu lost a chicken
he'd know jes' whar to look fo' It."
Most Remarkable.
Mr. Kadley Miss Odley Is a queer
girl. I heard her remark to nnother
girl thnt she snw Miss Swellmnn on
the avenue to-rtny.
Miss Pert Well, what's queer about
that?
Mr. Kadley The queer part wns
that she didn't proceed In the an me
breath to describe what Miss Swell
man hnd on. Philadelphia Ledger.
Modern W'oman'a Club.
"We Hhnll neglect nothing!" shouted
the president of the ' Free Woir.nn
Club.
"How about husbands, babies nnd
dishes?" asked the reporter.
"Oh. they're nothing."
Bound to Fetch Him.
Anxious Mother What do you think
is the best remedy to get my boy out
of bed, doctor?
Doctor Why, a snowstorm, min
strel tickets or pair of i skates.
Pertinent Inquiry,
Percy I've been to a dozen differ
ent places trying to get some blnnk
cartridges.
Jack What do you want them for?
Going to blow your brains put?
Limit.
"I am In favor of enlarging the
sphere of women," said Mr. Enpeck.
"Impossible, my dear," rejoined the
husband of his wife.
"Why Is It Impossible?" she snapped
"Because," he meekly explained,
"there's no way in which the earth can
be stretched."
Judge'a Regret.
"Your honor," said the young lawyer,
"I demand justice for my client"
"I'd be only too glad to accommodate
you," answered the Judge, "but as the
law won't allow me to give him more
than six months I am practlcallr help
less." On Ills Dignity.
lit
mm.-
it
Sam Mamma bought me u pair of
gloves yesterday.
Auntie Really! What are thev?
Kids?
Bam No, they're men's. Punch.
Why of It.
"Why don't you go to work?" asked
the kind lady who had Just given u;
a dime.
"'Scuse me, ma'am." rejoined tin;
tramp, "but I hope youse don't fink
I'm one uv dose silly guys woi yoiM
e round lookln' for trubble."
Not Ouilc Sure.
"Are you a witness for tl.e prosecu
tion or the defcnsrfV"
"I I ain't quite sure. sir. I'm 0:1
the side of that gentleman over t!.er.,
sir. He's the one that lii.vd me."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Too Popular.
"I never care to re.nl any but t!u
most iopu!ar novels, of the day."
Indeed?"
"Yea. It seems that way. At any
rate, whenever I ask for a book at the
llbrury It's out." Philadelphia Press.
lie Out-aacil Right.
Singleton From what I have sieu
of your wife I am led to believe iiat
aha U somewhat of a temporizer.
Vfedderly Tou bet she J. I see
ber temper rise mo o : uently than
I care to. j
Kay of U.'-'.
"Ah!" alghed U. ...ist, -tills Is a
old. cold world.'
"Cheer up, o ' rejoliled the
optimist, "yoi:' ve (hi same
- fur i . nai
I 11
Cause and Effect.
Mrs. II miner Yes. 1 keen two srlrlA
yet I am compelled to work like 1
slave.
Mrs. Flntlclgh Then why don't you
keep another girl?
Mrs. Houser Oh. If I did that Td
probably bnve to work nights.
On to Ilia Job.
"That chap who Just went out," said
the bartender, "la forever dwelling on
his wlfe'a talents."
"No wonder," replied the boss. "I'll
bet he couldn't exist three days If
forced to live on hi own."
A (shattered Engagement.
"We agreed to treat each other with
perfect frnnkness."
"How did it work?"
"O, I could stand her frankness; but
she wouldn't' stand mine."
A Recent Infliction. -
Tommy When was the Reign of
Terror, pa?
Pa Last week, when the cook act
ed up aa If she was going to leave.
Making Heraldry.
Merchaut Phew! Two hundred dol
lars Is pretty steep for that trade
mark. Mrs. Merchant Oh, get a good one;'
our grandchildren can use It for a coat-of-arms.
Icur Girl.
"Yes." said Subbubs, sighing, "the
only girl I really eared for I couldn't
have."
"What." exclaimed Ducklotz, "thnt
doesn't sound very complimentary to
Mrs, Subbubs."
"Oh. she felt as badly about it as I
do. You see, the girl wanted $5 a
week nnd we can't afford more than
$4." Philadelphia Press.
Reiteration.
"I suppose when you get home late
from the club your wife says a good
donl about It?"
"Oh, no; she never has much to say."
"You're lucky."
"Oh, not at all. She take an hour
or so to say It, Just the same." Phil
adelphia Ledger.
A PncceoBful Coruer.
"That old codger seem to be quite
an Independent old party," remarked
the traveling man.
"Uy heck!" exclaimed the vlllnge
wit, "It's no wonder. He op'rnted a
mighty successful corner In wheat last
year."
"What?"
"Fact. That corner lot o' hls'n yan
der. It yielded 1.2(H) bushels." Phlla.
delphla Press.
No Sign.
"Does that new novel turn out hnp
plly?" "It doesn't say. It only says they
married." Brooklyn Standard Union.
Knew the Animal.
Brown I say, Jones, do you happen
to know any one who has a horse for
sale?
Jones I have reasons for believing
that Green has.
Brown Why do you think so?
Jones Because 1 sold him one yes
terday. He Hoped Ho.
"I would like you to consider this
poem," said Woodby Rlter. "I assure
you It Is entirely original."
"Indeed?" replied the editor,
glancing over the first few lines.
"Er you don't doubt It, do you?"
"Not nt all. I'm quite ready to be
lieve there's more truth than poetry
alout that." Philadelphia Ledger.
An Inquiry
lie I don't see why you shouldn't
believe that you're the pnly girl I ever
loved.
She Why, did all the other girls be
lieve It? Judge.
Then He Got Buay.
Slowboy I say, Miss Willing, ore
you aware that lama member of the
Press Club?
Miss Willing Of course not, Mr.
Slowboy. How was I to know?
And the next day she told her chum
that Slowboy hud a perfecting pros
for printing kisses.
Handicapped.
"In order to enjoy a good night's
rest," said the physician, "you should
He on the right side only. It is posi
tivcly Injurious to lie on both sides."
"But how can I help it, doctor?" re
joined the patient. "You eem to have
overlooked the fact that I am a law.
or."
More Than Pathetic.
"Most of his poetry is pathetic, isn't
It?"
-That's what he cullsljt," replied the
cralc, "but the editors ay It's pitiful."
Philadelphia Pros
l h. i:i 'i J lo l'.iot.
River und barb I pilots will be put
out of business Vitiiely if the inven
tion of Profess f R. 15. Owens 1-lion Id
come into yneial use. Professor
Owcii.-j Is no? professor of electrical
engineering ft McGill University at
Montreal, nd tlc device referred to
aove is 'tin electrical apparatus by
which boat may be taken through
11 nnr.liw channel, without the least
dauvf r of grounding, by an officer of
th'boat entirely unaciiuainted with
t'e wnter through which he may be
pulsing. A properly Insulated and
protected cable is laid In the channel
to be followed by the craft An alter
nating current Is passed through tho
cable, and two telephones on board
the vessel are acted upon by the mag.
netlc Influences of the cable, so that
It is possible to detect the deflections
of the boat with regard to the position
of tbe cables by listening at the re
ceivers of the Instruments. Scientific
American.
Income) of tho Eia-Uah Chnrch.
Th church -nt England enjoys an la
mom oX abo-'t sl.uu.uuo a wawk.
Qnlck Work.
At one time Bishop William, of
Marquette, was ualvoMty preacher at
Cornell for a few weeks, nnd during
that time he not only gave fine tprl
inons. but provided hi friends at th
university with many good stories.
One he brought from Winnipeg,
where he had been attending the synod
of the Canadian church. He had seen
there a missionary h'hop who had
come a long journey, traveling for six
weeks, most of the time by canoe.
This missionary hnd brought mes
sage and excuses from a brother blah
op who was prevented from coming to
the synod because "his diocese hnd
gone to the dogs.
He proceeded to explain that the
brother bishop waa laboring among the
Lsklmo. n-rth of Hudson Bay. Bi
iy. ne
whaljJf
tanTd)
had built them a church with wh
ribs for rafters, covon-d with
walru hide.
"It held eighty )i 'ions," said the
missionary bishop, "and served Its
purpose well until In a bad time the
dogs grew famished a:id devoured the
church!"
A Hopeful Prospect.
The St. Lou1 Mirror has this story
of a beloved prelde:i, of an Eastern
college. One beautiful day the presi
dent was strolling over the canipujs
with his wife. They were admiring
tho buildings, some n; ,hich had been
erected by wealthy nlnmul.
Presently they came to a noble hall,
built of stone, and occupying a com
manding sJto. Over the main entrance
wa a marble tablet, which announced
that the hall had been erected by
"John C. Blank, aa a Memorial to ills
Beloved Wife."
The president stood for a moment
and looked at the hn -I'sing pile. Then
he heaved a sigh thai might have held
some envy.
"Ah," said he, "thm is what I should
like to do for my college!"
He cannot unders' ml why hi wj
should have looked to jjrrlfled.
A Genuine Hair Grower.
A doctor-chemist In the Altenhelm
Medical Dispensary, V.H)7 Foso Build
ing, Cincinnati, Ohio, ho discovered
what proves to be a positive hair
grower. This will be welcome news
to the thousands a filleted with bald
heads as well as those whose hair is
scanty and falling out The announce
ment of the doctor-chemist In another
column of this paper explains more
fully what this new discovery for the
hair can do. A trial package can be 4
bad free by enclosing a 2-cent star"v
to Altenhelm Medical Dispensary.'laejBf
Foso Building, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Didn't Worry Her.
"Doesn't it make you niiry when folki
twit you about your failure to acquire s
husband?" asked the girl who was doing
ber first season.
"Not me," replied the philosophical
spinster. "It Is better to be laughed at
because you are not murried than not U
be able to laugh been use you are."
100 Reward, 8100.
Til readers of this paper will be pleased to
Iftarn tliat there in at leat one dreaded U Weans
Unit lolence has been able to cure In all its
Mattes, and that 1 Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure
Is (lie only positive cure known to tne medical
fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutional dis
ease, requires a constitutional treatment. Hall's
Catarrh Cure Is takes Internally, ax'tliiK directly
on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system,
thereby destroying the foundation of the dis
ease, and glTlntr the patient slronirth by building
up the constitution and assisting nature In doing
its work. The proprietors have so much faith In
Its curative powers that they offer Une Hundred
Hollars for any case that it nub to cure. Head
for list of testimonials.
Address. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Kola by Druggists, 75e.
Hall's Family flUi are tbe beaV
Then He iult.
She After all -you cannot deuy that
women are better than men.
He Oh, I don't know. The good book
doesn't say anything about seven devils
being cast out of a man.
She No, of course not; he has every
one of them yet.
You Con Get Allen'a Foot-Base FREE.
Write to-day to Allen S. Olmsted, Le Hoy,
N. Y., for a FRF. IS sample of Allen's Foot
Kuc, a nowder to ahnke into vour shoes.
It cures tired, sweating, dump, swollen, ach-
nig ieet. it manes new or Unlit suoes eas.
A certain cure for Corns and Ilunlous. A
druggists and shoe stoics sell It. ic.
FlKurra Vs. l'acts.
Mrs. Baldwin I road an article the
other day by an eminent scientist in
ay by an eminent scientist in
e claims the common house fly
JO Btrikes witli its wings in ufo
in Well, perhaps it can; but th
which he claims the common house
makes GOO 1
ond.
Baldwin
pesky thing never does it when it hns a
chance to loaf around on, a man s bald
spot
Washing Machine Only $2.70.
beauty by using our great Mar Hashing
Machine. Worth its weight in gold.
Price only $2.70; with wriner, $3.90.
John A. Salzor Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis.
The Rural Idea.
Allnf sumtinr in An n inr riuw vaw
work at when yew air tew hum?
City Nephew (ou a vacation) Why, I
attend school. I'm studying for a doc
tor. Aunt Kamantha Pew tell! Ain't th'
doctor able tew do his own stmldyin'?
Mrs, Wlns1ows Soots mo Srsn fnr Ohtldnsi
tovtklnsi aofKiit iha funis, ndnM lnnVmuos. si
Uia vain, eons sia4 esUs. S ssbis s bouis.
Cure for Insomnia.
The poets hum the midnight oil
And lonely vigils keep.
And products of their wakeful toil
Put other folks to sleep.
The Shortest Way
out of ansttackof
Rheumatism
Neuralgia
Is to use
St. Jacobs Oil
Which store's not only sure rasaf.
hut a prompt curs. It srwihss,
avbdoss. and ends the surlsrk.
Prlco, 25c. and SOc
I