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About Dakota County herald. (Dakota City, Neb.) 1891-1965 | View Entire Issue (April 30, 1904)
Not an Kncltsh PnllilnR. Tito Irlili rebuke Is seldom bitter or priggish, but It itpner.illy flnda It 11 n rk. mid onwlilcli the lmilon Star records Is nut an exception. A snobbish young F.iiKllshmnn, ae-romp.-iniod by n small die. reeently (tl Into a street car and rut down opposite an Irishman. The loiter was Immediately attracted by Hie animal, and After some ndvanees. which were tnuulitily reeclvod by the mauler, ask ed outright what kind of a dog It was. "It la a cross between an ape and an Irishman." was the loud voiced re ply. ' "Vallh, thin, we're both related to h' baste.'' retorted the Irishman, cheerfully. Wllllac to Learn. There won nothing to be seen eiccpt the traditional cloud the size of a niHii'a hand. Yet the captain mado haste fo shorten anil. Hoon the atorm billet In all It fury. When the sky was onep more bright and the raptnln was at leisure one of the passenger approached him revcr entiiilly. "Kxcuse me, captain," he aald, "but low did you know It was coming? I'm connected with the wot her bureau and I wIkIi you'd give me Home points New York Time. A Heart Htory. Polsnm, S. I). In these dnya when ao ninny sudden deaths are reported from Heart Failure nnd various forme of Heart Disease, It will be good news to many to learn that there la a never falling remedy for every form of Heart Trouble. Mr. II. t). Hyde, of thin place, was troubled for years with a pain In her heart wlilch distressed her a great deal. She hnd tried many remedies, but had not Kiiccccdcd in llndlng any thing that would help her until at last alie began a treatment of Dodd'a Kid ney Tills and tills very soon relieved her and she has not had A single pain or any distress In the region of the heart since. She Hays: "I cannot say too much In praise of Dodd'a Kidney Tills. They are the greatest heurt medicine I have ever used. I wus troubled for over three yeura with a severe pain In my heart, which entirely disappeared after a short treatment of Dodd'a Kidney Pills." Tribes Dying Out. The census of 1001 reveals that the Australian aboriginal In dying out In 1778, the year of settlement. Governor riillllp estimated the native popula tion at 1.000,000. To-day It numbers only 47,000. The aboriginal Is extinct In Tasmania, almost so in Victoria, and in New South Wales be numbers less than 4.000. i PUTNAM FADELESS DYES color more goods, brighter colors, with leg work than others. CHINESE CARPENTER'S FEAT. Method of Mending Hole In a Floor Astonished Caucasian. "Did you ever get a Chinese car penter to stop up a hole In the floor?" asked one fiat dweller of another. The other had to admit that he had not, ays the New York Times. Then the first proceeded to tell his wonderful tale, which the listener would not be lieve until he tried an oriental for the same purpose the next month. "There was a worn place In the Boor that needed patching and 1 thought I'd show my wife what a car penter I was, so I sawed a square sec tion of the plnnka out. Hut I cut my hand the first minute and had to end for the Chinaman, who has a , shop right around the corner. When ha got to the door he grunted something that sounded like It might mean Where?1 and I pointed to the square bole In a dark corner. "'Wow,' he said as he squinted at It a minute. Then he turned around jmd walked out. I thought well, I didn't know what to think, I wa so amazed. I couldn't understand his giving up such a simple job. I was till puzzling over It half an hour later when I heard n knock. He said 'wow, or soino other word like It and held up a square board. Then lie walked over to the dark corner of the room and what do you think? He put the square In and It fitted just ns If It bad grown there. And heJiad just taken a peep at the bole from where be was standing In the door." The flat dweller's tale Is no fairy tory. That's the way a Chinese car. penter stops a hole In the floor. HAS A 8AY. lba School Principal Talks About Food. The Principal of a High (School In a flourishing California city says: "For 23 years I worked In the hebool with only short summer vacations. I formed the habit of eating rapidly, masticated poorly, which coupled with my sedentary work led to lndlgestiou, liver trouble, lame back and rheuma tism. "I'pon consulting physicians somo doped me with drugs, while others pre scribed dieting and sometimes I got temporary relief, other times not. For 1-' years I struggled along with this handicap to my work, seldom laid up, but often a burden to myself with lameness and rheumatic pains. "Two years ago I met an old friend, physician who noticed at once my out-of health condition and who pre scribed for me an exclusive diet of Grape-Xuts, milk and fruit. "1 followed bis Instructions and In two mouths I felt like a new man with 110 more headaches, rheumutls 11 or liver trouble and from that time to this Crape-Nuts Las b 'en my main food for morning nnd evening meals, tiu stronger and h al'hier than I have been for year without a truce of the old troubles. Judging from my i r.snt vigorous physical nnd mental state, I tell my people Methuselah may .'yet have to take second place among the old men, for I f-el like I will live a gi at many more years. "To all this remarkable change lu health I am Indebted to my wise friend and Crape-Nuts and I hope the Postum Co. will continue to manufacture this life and health giving food for several centurt- vet n.-tii j move to a world where In.'l l mi Is unknown." Name riven by P fin Co., Battle Creek. Mich AMi a- .- ,n what be knowe tout 1 Those who bar tried W Tlie ' rags ' i.M, WAR WILL MOT INVOLVE UNCLE SAM. Br W. W. Hoodr. 3:crttarr of the fttvr. Wo are on friendly terms with both nations engaged In the war In the Knst and are attached to each by n bond of peculiar sympathy. The one nation endeared herself to the hearts of the American people by an expres sion of good will In the days of our sore trial. Toward the other we occupy al most the position of a foster mother, because it was our navy that broke through the door of her Eastern exelu slveness and let In the flood of sunlight of modern civilization. We have do clured our neutrality in this struggle, ' 1 , w .IV..- , :..:..: H. MOODT. and we shall maintain It. Wo have no Interest except thnt the war may end speedily; we have no concern except that It may not bring Into the struggle auy of the other nations which are noto content. I'nder no circumstances that I can conceive Is there danger to the peace of our own coun try. Our new navy, which constitute all of the effective navy of to-day, was begun during the administration of President Arthur and under the direction of his two sec retaries of the navy. Hunt and Chandler. It was continued during the two administrations of President Cleveland un der the direction of Srcro'.nrios Whitney nnd Herbert. The lamented Whitney once said: "This country can afford to have, and It cannot nfford to hick, a naval force at lc:ist so formidable that Its deal ings with foreign powers will not be Influenced at any time nor even be suspected ni being Influenced by a conscious ness of weakness on the s-vi." And again: "It Is of little service to a nation to havr any navy at all unless It Is a fair expression of the highest scientific resources of its day." I have not lost hope that the policy of Increasing our power tiK)n the sea will be maintained, no matter which party may be In control of the national administration. MARRYING WITHOUT M3NIY. 0 Theoretically, at least, most people will agree that to marry solely for worldly gain Is a menu and despicable deed. Those who apparently mar ry for money would 1:0 doubt unanimously repel the accusation with Indignation, and claim that they have but followed the advice which Tenny son's northern .armor gave to hi son to "gon wheer the munny is." Poets and romancers usu ally portray I lie mercenary suitor as a villain of the deepest dye, and 11 popular wo. nun's magazine which recently held a symposium u;ion the subject of what men most desire In a wife announced triumphantly that of all tlie men who replied to the query not one mentioned money as a requisite qualification. None the less there are a few people, middle-aged and prudent persons for the most part, who do not hesitate to aver tbut It Is almost ns bad a thing to marry without money. These sage e!d"rs have been taught by experience that dally bread Is nu absolute necessity to life; they have loomed thnt milk and honey, or what stands for them nowadays, are not to be had without money and without price, and they argue that It Is quite as selfish to think only of the present, and take no thought of the morrow, careless of others in either case, as It Is to prefer the com fort of to-morroy to the passion of to-day. No man hns the right to nsk n woman to marry htm unless he can fitly cherish her; no woman nhould mnrry her lover, however eager he may be, when she knows that ho must struggle to keep his own head above wnter, without the additional burden of her support. What Is enough for one Is not ATTACKS THE BIBLE. Knicliah Canon Calls the Old Testament u Pack of Lie. Canon Henson, one of the chief dig nitaries of Westminster Abbey and a select preacher of Oxford and Cam bridge Universities, England, has raised a Ktorm of criticism by the publication of an article wherein he attacks the Inspira tion of the Old Tes tament, referring to Its "Incredible, puerile or demornl Icing narratives," iitv. u. 11. ui.ninoN. which are regarded ns being "a pack of lies too gross for toleration." He declares thnt Inspira tion I not allowed to certify to tho truth of any statement lu the ltlble "which cannot bo substantiated nt the bar of reason and evidence." In the New Teatnmcnt he finds little to offend reasou or conscience, "but, whether much or little, It will have to go the way of the Old Testament prodigies." In an analysis of the present social condition, Canon I Ion son attributes the spread of anarchy, the "ulcer that Is eating the vitals of society," to the disappearance over largo areas of civil ized life of "the religious basis of mo rality." Vet he find an excuse for these "nonmoral multitudes" who "from the cradle to the grave have faced the severe pressure of competi tion, the squalor and poverty and the miserable exigencies of unmerited want," and who "inevitably compare their condition with the ostentation of unearned wealth, the profusion and unchecked luxury and tho lnsoleuce of unchastened power." The canou stiys that when It Is re membered that theBe "cruel, shocking contrasts are no longer regarded with the dull stare of fatalistic Ignorance, but lu tho full light of those doctrines of equality which are tho common places of democratic politics? It Is no wonder that "the minds of thousands are predisposed toward the sophistries of anarchy." "It would be idle to deny," lie con cludes, "that the credit of the Scrip tures Is seriously shaken In the public mind, nor can It reasonably be doubted that tho tendencies of popular life : at present prevailing are In the main hostile to Christian tradition." A BOYS' COOKING CLASS. Thirty-two stalwart young men. some over six feet high, have formed themselves Into a cooking class, which Is probably the only tustitutlou of its kind lu the world. All of the boys belong to the Orange, N. J., high school, and the cooking clasa meet after school hours. In quiries have come from England con cerning it, and similar classes are to be sUrted there. The class has been lu exlsteuce over a year, and tbe pu pil are athletic young fellows who have no Idea of taking tbe places of cooks, but who want to shine at sum mer camps, where the gentler sex Is toot present Good, rdaln. old-fashioned fare 1 r"1 h dMiea are isd no enough for two, romancer to the contrary notwithstand ing. Mathematics Is the one and only exact science, and by no possible process of calculation, can the half equal the whole. Love In a cottnge may be charming, but it can not be maintained without the wherewithal to pay the rent. It Is a good biblical doctrine, as well as sound common sense, to undertake nothing without counting the cost. They who trust to the morrow to care for the things of Itself are apt, a the saying Is. to "get left." It I only In story books that when the hero and heroine fall to make both ends met they Inherit a fortune or some long lost relative turns up In the nick of time. In real life such luck Is so rare as to be regarded as phenomennl. HOW TO ENCOURAGE TEMPERANCE. Br Carrotl D. Wright. Commissioner of tabor. V m aV?7 r lVTWlf;N im. u r km HI CABK01.1. v. wiuoiiT duty should not be employed. It was soon seen that this meant nothing whatever, and so the next movement was to prohibit the employment of men who were habitual drinkers even In slight degree. This movement has spread over the country. The pub lic Is interested as much ns the railroads themselves. The sufety of travel and the avoidance of disaster concerns the whole people, and thus the economic value of the prohi billon has been felt In every direction. It now extends to private and corporate concerns which desire to run their establishments with as little friction and as little loss as possible. The common and statutory laws which make em ployer liable In some degree and under certain circum stances for the carelessness of their employes are a most powerful Incentive to the employment of men with clear heads. . Thus economically again the movement acquires strength. Br Helen Oldtleld. PRIZE EIGHTS VS. but when art. Is the thing the purse strings are pulled. In Philadelphia a prize tight brought out the entire populace, while my engagement was canceled. Once I thought the day would never come when the Americans would rather see a prize fight than hear me sing. I thought I under stood them and, that they loved me. but it is so different now. In fact, as I see America with my eyes opened I find It a most undesirable place. There Is little hero to commend and a great many things to deplore. I did not enjoy my tour at all. I am really mortified to think of how I have been subjected to the prevalent vulgarity of Americans. I do not like America as well a I did in former years. The country hns changed so much, and, really, it has not changed for the better. ' CRUISER AGA.rO A FLEET. k4 , Air The battle of Chemulpo, Korea, In which the Russian cruiser Variag and the guubont Korleta faced an over-powering Japanese fleet, furnishes one of the most gallant conflicts against odds in the history of naval warfare. On tho morning of Feb. l Hear Admiral Urlu, commanding the Japan ese fleet at the entrance to Chemulpo, notified tho Kussiau that they must surrender or leave tho harbor at noon. If this demand were not compiled with, the Japanese admiral stated that ho would enter the harbor and lnk the Russian vessels where they lay. The Russian commander faced the situation manfully. The Variag was only n protected cruiser of 0.0(H) tons, while tho Korletz was of only 1.213 tons displacement, yet he steamed boldly out of the harbor, the Russian bands playing the national anthem, to meet the Japanese fleet, which consisted of two battleships, six cruisers, seven torpedo boats and five torpedo boat destroyers. The fight which followed was furious, the Are of tho Japanese fleet being concentrated on the Variag. The ship was riddled until she looked like a aleve and there was not a gun aboard which could be successfully worked. When the ship wa on fire, two of her boiler destroyed, her engines barely workable and 109 officers and men lying dead or dying on the decks the vessel, accompanied by 10 Korletz, returned to the harbor, where the Russians, after the dead and Injured and living were removed, sunk the vessels rather than let them fall Into the hands of the Japanese. ' The Illus tration shows the sunken cruiser In the distance, while la the foreground the neutral ships are picking up the survivors. In tbe most appetizing manner. Kvery kind of vegetable and fruit that grows in the garden, bread, biscuit, old-fashioned buckwheats, stews, roasts and soups are prepared by tho boys. Tho fact that the good things cooked are eaten by tho chefs, sitting coni- MIUUYO CAMP CHKra. fortably at a table where the lady teacher does tbe honors. Is one of the reasons why tbe boys enjoy their nov el lessons, and a larger number of boys (ban can possibly be Instructed are clamoring for admission. Bat for tbe frames some pictures vtMildu'l be U It HI . B i- The question of Intemperance Is out which is largely In the handa of em ployers of labor. When the employer understands and announces that he can hlrt a man with a clear head for the same compensation for which he can get one with a muddled brain the tera- perance movement Is subjected to a force not known by any other method. It may well be called the dynamics of the temperance movement and began on (he railroads a generation ago. first in orders that men who drank while on ART. ' Br Adellna Paftl. Amerlci Is indeed a strange place, and Amer icans are strange people. Once VI thought the country was the place for art, but I see now that artists should never go there. The continent Is so different. There art is understood by all and art Is at home. Here art knocks at the door like a stranger and the public rebuffs It like a beggar. Americana like prize fights and such things. They will spend their money to see brutality, Xo Fourth Part. A farmer tells of an old Irishman in his employ whom he once permitted to make use of certain land for farming purposes on condition that Pat should give hi in one-fourth of the crop he raised. At the harvesting of the crop the farmer was amazed to find the Irish man had not kept tils part of the irgrcemeut. for whl'e he hauled away three wagon loads of produce, he had not xent a single load to his master's barn. The farmer called Pat' attention to the fact that Lo had taken the entire crop, asking: "Now, how's that, Pat? Wasn't I to receive a fourth of the crop?" "You was. air you was," excitedly exclaimed the Irishman, "but there's only three loads, sir; ouly three loads." Exchange. A Discovery. They had beeu discussing the baby's ears, eyes and nose. "Aud I think be'a got bl father's hair," aald the Joyful young mother. "Ob, Is that who's got It? I no ticed It was missing," said the girl who knew her before she waa mar ried. Exchange. Tbe average man derives a lot of pleasure from spoiling some other fel- low's fno. SUPPOSE WE SMILE. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPER8. Pleasant Incldcnta Occurring the World Over Payings that Are Cheer ful to Old or Young funny Helcc tlona that Everybody Will Enjoy. "I understand that prima donna failed to give her farewell concert be cause she had a cold." . "Tea," answered the manager. "How did she contract it?" "Well, It wasn't an ordinary cold. It is what la technically known as a box-office chill." Washington Htar. The Installment Piano. "Dolly, why don't you spread out more over the keyboard when you play? You always putter around lu jut about two octaves." "I knew It, dear, but you ee that's about all wo own so far, and when I get off those bound I feel ns If I was poaching." Detroit Free Tress. He Was Wise. -tip "No, sah. I wouldn't live In dis town unless dere was oddev nlggnhs llvln' here, too." "Why?" " 'Cos If a white mnu lost a chicken he'd know jes' whar to look fo' It." Most Remarkable. Mr. Kadley Miss Odley Is a queer girl. I heard her remark to nnother girl thnt she snw Miss Swellmnn on the avenue to-rtny. Miss Pert Well, what's queer about that? Mr. Kadley The queer part wns that she didn't proceed In the an me breath to describe what Miss Swell man hnd on. Philadelphia Ledger. Modern W'oman'a Club. "We Hhnll neglect nothing!" shouted the president of the ' Free Woir.nn Club. "How about husbands, babies nnd dishes?" asked the reporter. "Oh. they're nothing." Bound to Fetch Him. Anxious Mother What do you think is the best remedy to get my boy out of bed, doctor? Doctor Why, a snowstorm, min strel tickets or pair of i skates. Pertinent Inquiry, Percy I've been to a dozen differ ent places trying to get some blnnk cartridges. Jack What do you want them for? Going to blow your brains put? Limit. "I am In favor of enlarging the sphere of women," said Mr. Enpeck. "Impossible, my dear," rejoined the husband of his wife. "Why Is It Impossible?" she snapped "Because," he meekly explained, "there's no way in which the earth can be stretched." Judge'a Regret. "Your honor," said the young lawyer, "I demand justice for my client" "I'd be only too glad to accommodate you," answered the Judge, "but as the law won't allow me to give him more than six months I am practlcallr help less." On Ills Dignity. lit mm.- it Sam Mamma bought me u pair of gloves yesterday. Auntie Really! What are thev? Kids? Bam No, they're men's. Punch. Why of It. "Why don't you go to work?" asked the kind lady who had Just given u; a dime. "'Scuse me, ma'am." rejoined tin; tramp, "but I hope youse don't fink I'm one uv dose silly guys woi yoiM e round lookln' for trubble." Not Ouilc Sure. "Are you a witness for tl.e prosecu tion or the defcnsrfV" "I I ain't quite sure. sir. I'm 0:1 the side of that gentleman over t!.er., sir. He's the one that lii.vd me." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Too Popular. "I never care to re.nl any but t!u most iopu!ar novels, of the day." Indeed?" "Yea. It seems that way. At any rate, whenever I ask for a book at the llbrury It's out." Philadelphia Press. lie Out-aacil Right. Singleton From what I have sieu of your wife I am led to believe iiat aha U somewhat of a temporizer. Vfedderly Tou bet she J. I see ber temper rise mo o : uently than I care to. j Kay of U.'-'. "Ah!" alghed U. ...ist, -tills Is a old. cold world.' "Cheer up, o ' rejoliled the optimist, "yoi:' ve (hi same - fur i . nai I 11 Cause and Effect. Mrs. II miner Yes. 1 keen two srlrlA yet I am compelled to work like 1 slave. Mrs. Flntlclgh Then why don't you keep another girl? Mrs. Houser Oh. If I did that Td probably bnve to work nights. On to Ilia Job. "That chap who Just went out," said the bartender, "la forever dwelling on his wlfe'a talents." "No wonder," replied the boss. "I'll bet he couldn't exist three days If forced to live on hi own." A (shattered Engagement. "We agreed to treat each other with perfect frnnkness." "How did it work?" "O, I could stand her frankness; but she wouldn't' stand mine." A Recent Infliction. - Tommy When was the Reign of Terror, pa? Pa Last week, when the cook act ed up aa If she was going to leave. Making Heraldry. Merchaut Phew! Two hundred dol lars Is pretty steep for that trade mark. Mrs. Merchant Oh, get a good one;' our grandchildren can use It for a coat-of-arms. Icur Girl. "Yes." said Subbubs, sighing, "the only girl I really eared for I couldn't have." "What." exclaimed Ducklotz, "thnt doesn't sound very complimentary to Mrs, Subbubs." "Oh. she felt as badly about it as I do. You see, the girl wanted $5 a week nnd we can't afford more than $4." Philadelphia Press. Reiteration. "I suppose when you get home late from the club your wife says a good donl about It?" "Oh, no; she never has much to say." "You're lucky." "Oh, not at all. She take an hour or so to say It, Just the same." Phil adelphia Ledger. A PncceoBful Coruer. "That old codger seem to be quite an Independent old party," remarked the traveling man. "Uy heck!" exclaimed the vlllnge wit, "It's no wonder. He op'rnted a mighty successful corner In wheat last year." "What?" "Fact. That corner lot o' hls'n yan der. It yielded 1.2(H) bushels." Phlla. delphla Press. No Sign. "Does that new novel turn out hnp plly?" "It doesn't say. It only says they married." Brooklyn Standard Union. Knew the Animal. Brown I say, Jones, do you happen to know any one who has a horse for sale? Jones I have reasons for believing that Green has. Brown Why do you think so? Jones Because 1 sold him one yes terday. He Hoped Ho. "I would like you to consider this poem," said Woodby Rlter. "I assure you It Is entirely original." "Indeed?" replied the editor, glancing over the first few lines. "Er you don't doubt It, do you?" "Not nt all. I'm quite ready to be lieve there's more truth than poetry alout that." Philadelphia Ledger. An Inquiry lie I don't see why you shouldn't believe that you're the pnly girl I ever loved. She Why, did all the other girls be lieve It? Judge. Then He Got Buay. Slowboy I say, Miss Willing, ore you aware that lama member of the Press Club? Miss Willing Of course not, Mr. Slowboy. How was I to know? And the next day she told her chum that Slowboy hud a perfecting pros for printing kisses. Handicapped. "In order to enjoy a good night's rest," said the physician, "you should He on the right side only. It is posi tivcly Injurious to lie on both sides." "But how can I help it, doctor?" re joined the patient. "You eem to have overlooked the fact that I am a law. or." More Than Pathetic. "Most of his poetry is pathetic, isn't It?" -That's what he cullsljt," replied the cralc, "but the editors ay It's pitiful." Philadelphia Pros l h. i:i 'i J lo l'.iot. River und barb I pilots will be put out of business Vitiiely if the inven tion of Profess f R. 15. Owens 1-lion Id come into yneial use. Professor Owcii.-j Is no? professor of electrical engineering ft McGill University at Montreal, nd tlc device referred to aove is 'tin electrical apparatus by which boat may be taken through 11 nnr.liw channel, without the least dauvf r of grounding, by an officer of th'boat entirely unaciiuainted with t'e wnter through which he may be pulsing. A properly Insulated and protected cable is laid In the channel to be followed by the craft An alter nating current Is passed through tho cable, and two telephones on board the vessel are acted upon by the mag. netlc Influences of the cable, so that It is possible to detect the deflections of the boat with regard to the position of tbe cables by listening at the re ceivers of the Instruments. Scientific American. Income) of tho Eia-Uah Chnrch. Th church -nt England enjoys an la mom oX abo-'t sl.uu.uuo a wawk. Qnlck Work. At one time Bishop William, of Marquette, was ualvoMty preacher at Cornell for a few weeks, nnd during that time he not only gave fine tprl inons. but provided hi friends at th university with many good stories. One he brought from Winnipeg, where he had been attending the synod of the Canadian church. He had seen there a missionary h'hop who had come a long journey, traveling for six weeks, most of the time by canoe. This missionary hnd brought mes sage and excuses from a brother blah op who was prevented from coming to the synod because "his diocese hnd gone to the dogs. He proceeded to explain that the brother bishop waa laboring among the Lsklmo. n-rth of Hudson Bay. Bi iy. ne whaljJf tanTd) had built them a church with wh ribs for rafters, covon-d with walru hide. "It held eighty )i 'ions," said the missionary bishop, "and served Its purpose well until In a bad time the dogs grew famished a:id devoured the church!" A Hopeful Prospect. The St. Lou1 Mirror has this story of a beloved prelde:i, of an Eastern college. One beautiful day the presi dent was strolling over the canipujs with his wife. They were admiring tho buildings, some n; ,hich had been erected by wealthy nlnmul. Presently they came to a noble hall, built of stone, and occupying a com manding sJto. Over the main entrance wa a marble tablet, which announced that the hall had been erected by "John C. Blank, aa a Memorial to ills Beloved Wife." The president stood for a moment and looked at the hn -I'sing pile. Then he heaved a sigh thai might have held some envy. "Ah," said he, "thm is what I should like to do for my college!" He cannot unders' ml why hi wj should have looked to jjrrlfled. A Genuine Hair Grower. A doctor-chemist In the Altenhelm Medical Dispensary, V.H)7 Foso Build ing, Cincinnati, Ohio, ho discovered what proves to be a positive hair grower. This will be welcome news to the thousands a filleted with bald heads as well as those whose hair is scanty and falling out The announce ment of the doctor-chemist In another column of this paper explains more fully what this new discovery for the hair can do. A trial package can be 4 bad free by enclosing a 2-cent star"v to Altenhelm Medical Dispensary.'laejBf Foso Building, Cincinnati, Ohio. Didn't Worry Her. "Doesn't it make you niiry when folki twit you about your failure to acquire s husband?" asked the girl who was doing ber first season. "Not me," replied the philosophical spinster. "It Is better to be laughed at because you are not murried than not U be able to laugh been use you are." 100 Reward, 8100. Til readers of this paper will be pleased to Iftarn tliat there in at leat one dreaded U Weans Unit lolence has been able to cure In all its Mattes, and that 1 Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is (lie only positive cure known to tne medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutional dis ease, requires a constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is takes Internally, ax'tliiK directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation of the dis ease, and glTlntr the patient slronirth by building up the constitution and assisting nature In doing its work. The proprietors have so much faith In Its curative powers that they offer Une Hundred Hollars for any case that it nub to cure. Head for list of testimonials. Address. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. Kola by Druggists, 75e. Hall's Family flUi are tbe beaV Then He iult. She After all -you cannot deuy that women are better than men. He Oh, I don't know. The good book doesn't say anything about seven devils being cast out of a man. She No, of course not; he has every one of them yet. You Con Get Allen'a Foot-Base FREE. Write to-day to Allen S. Olmsted, Le Hoy, N. Y., for a FRF. IS sample of Allen's Foot Kuc, a nowder to ahnke into vour shoes. It cures tired, sweating, dump, swollen, ach- nig ieet. it manes new or Unlit suoes eas. A certain cure for Corns and Ilunlous. A druggists and shoe stoics sell It. ic. FlKurra Vs. l'acts. Mrs. Baldwin I road an article the other day by an eminent scientist in ay by an eminent scientist in e claims the common house fly JO Btrikes witli its wings in ufo in Well, perhaps it can; but th which he claims the common house makes GOO 1 ond. Baldwin pesky thing never does it when it hns a chance to loaf around on, a man s bald spot Washing Machine Only $2.70. beauty by using our great Mar Hashing Machine. Worth its weight in gold. Price only $2.70; with wriner, $3.90. John A. Salzor Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis. The Rural Idea. Allnf sumtinr in An n inr riuw vaw work at when yew air tew hum? City Nephew (ou a vacation) Why, I attend school. I'm studying for a doc tor. Aunt Kamantha Pew tell! Ain't th' doctor able tew do his own stmldyin'? Mrs, Wlns1ows Soots mo Srsn fnr Ohtldnsi tovtklnsi aofKiit iha funis, ndnM lnnVmuos. si Uia vain, eons sia4 esUs. S ssbis s bouis. Cure for Insomnia. The poets hum the midnight oil And lonely vigils keep. And products of their wakeful toil Put other folks to sleep. The Shortest Way out of ansttackof Rheumatism Neuralgia Is to use St. Jacobs Oil Which store's not only sure rasaf. hut a prompt curs. It srwihss, avbdoss. and ends the surlsrk. Prlco, 25c. and SOc I
