14
THE COURIER
GENE FIEfoD'S PbATFORM.
SONGS OF SERENADE.
I am six feet in height; am of spare build, weigh 160 pounds, and
have shocking taste in dress. But I like to hare well-dressed peo
ple about me. My eyes are blue, my complexion is pale, my face is
Bhaven and I incline to baldness. It is only when I look and see
how young and fair and sweet my wife is that I hare a good opinion
of myself.
1 am fond of the companionship of women, and I have no uncon
querable prejudice against feminine beauty. I recall with pride
that in twenty two years of active journalism I hare always written
iu roverential praise of womankind. I favor early marriage.
I am fund of the quaint and curious in every line. 1 am very fond
of dns. birds, and all small pets a passion not approved of by my
wife. My favorite flower is the carnation. My favorites in fiction
aro Hawthorne's "Scarlet Letter," "Don Quixote" and "Pilgrim's
Progress.' 1 greatly love Hans Christian Andersen's Tales, and I
am deeply interested in folklore and fairy tales. I believe in ghosts,
and witches and fairies. I should like to own a big astronomical
telescojMj and a 24-tune music box. I adore dolls.
My favorite hymn is "Bounding Billows. My heroes in history
are Martin Luther, Mme. Lamballe, Abraham Lincoln; my favorite
!oemB are Koerner's "Battle Prayer," Wordsworth's "We Are Sev
en," Newman's "Lead, Kindly Light," Luther's Hymn, Schiller's
"The Diver," Horace's "Fons Bandusiae." and Burns' "Cotter's Sat
urday Night" I dislike Dante and Byron. I should like to have
known Jeremiah, the Prophet, old man Poggio, Horace, Walter
Scott, Bonaparte, Hawthorne, Mme. Sontag, Sir John Herschel,
Hans Andersen. My favorite actor is Henry Irving; actress, Mme.
Modjeska.
I dislike "politics" so
called. I should like to
have the privilege of vot
ing extended to women.
I am unalterably oppos
ed to capital punishment.
I favor a system of pen
sions for noble services
in literature, art. science,
etc I approve of com
pulsory education. I be
lieve in churches and
schools. I hate war,
armies, soldiers, guns and
fireworks.
If I could have my
way, I should make the
abuse of horses, doira
1. Auctioneer What is bid for this and cattle a penal offense,
piano? Going ! going ! going ! (you can't I should abolish all dog
open it;the key's lost) going! going! Sold iawB and dog catchers,
for two-fifty. Next!!!
r '-
One night beneath my window, when
The stars were bright above,
The music of a mandolin.
Blent with a lay of love,
Came stealing through the stillness like
The balmy breath of spring; .;' .
I opened up my window blinds ' -
And heard a singer sing:
"Cupid ie an archer, and his arrow's ever set,
And swift and sure the arrow flies, as from a falconet;
His bow is ever trusty and his aim is ever true.
Be wary of the archer when his arrow's aimed at you !"
At first I only lingered there
To listen for a while,
And thought the singer only sang
The hours to beguile. " ""
My heart began to tremble with - j
The touch of every string.
I opened wide my window blinds
And heard the singer sing:
"Cupid is an archer, and his arrow's ever set,
And swift and sure the arrow flies, as from a falconet;
His bow is ever trusty and his aim is ever true.
Be wary of the archer when his arrow's aimed at you !'
The weary day I'm waiting for
The twilight shades to fall,
And where the tangled woodland waves -, .
I hear the lone dove call. ' ,
The song of running brooklets and
A thousand birds a-wing
My eager ears will hear not,
When my love begins to sing:
"Cupid is an archer, and his arrow's ever set,
And swift and sure the arrow flies as f-om a falconet;
His bow is ever trusty and his aim is ever true.
Be wary of the archer when his bow is aimed at you !''
Cy Warman.
IN THE DAYS OF DIVORCES.
He Will you be my wife some time this year ?
She I will. But I can't anpwer for any time later than that.
HOW IT WORKS.
The tippling farmer plants his corn,
And though the crop be slim,
He turnB it into golden juice,
And then his corn plants him.
2. Mr. Short Well, Mary, as long as
the key's lost, I'll open it with this crowbar.
3. Funny it doesn't open.
i. BANG!!!
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A
Y
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