The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, October 27, 1894, Page 17, Image 17

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THE COURIER
Alleged Comicalities.
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For Yearsy
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8ays Carrie E. Stockwf.ll, of Chester
field, N II., "I was afflicted with :.n
extremely sercre pain in tlie lower part u
the chest. The feeling was as !( a ton
freight was I:.I'
on a spot the slit
of my hand. Dur
ing the attacks, lLo
perspiration v,i i
Maud L drupj ou
my face, and it wai
i agony for me to
'make sit file I cut
effort even to whis
per. They cam (i
suddenly, at any
hour of the day cr
night, lasting from
' 1
flitrti mlnntM tn
half a day, leaving as suddenly; hut, for
several days after, I was quite pros
trated and sore. Sometime? the attacks
were almost dally, then less tre-pient. After
about four years of this suffering, I was
taken down with bilious typhoid fever, and
when I began to recover, I im the worst
attack of my old troithlu I ever experienced.
At the first of the fever, my mother gave
me Ayer's Tills, my doctor rceon.inending
them as being better than anything he
could prepare. I continued taking these
Tills, and so great was the benefit derived
that during nearly thirty years I have b-d
but one attack of my former trouble, which
yielded readily to the same remedy."
AYER'S PILLS
Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mu.
Every Dose Effective
FROM PLAIN TO PEAK.
There's a discription in a nut-shell of the
journey to Hot Springs, S. D. via the Hurl
ington route.
It's one of the pleasantests trips imagin
able. Rates to Hot Springs are low, very low,
now. Why not spend a week or two there?
The Burlidgton's local agent will gladly
give you full particulars about Hot Springs
and also if you ask for it a beautifully
illustrated folder.
J. FRANCIS,
G. P. & T. A.
Omaha, Neb.
We have seen a number of watch chains
ornamented with a pretty charm in the
shape of a watch case opener, which obvi
ates the use of a knife or fingernail to open
the watch. They are sent free on request
by the Keystone Watch Case Company, of
Philapelphia, Fa. Your jeweler here may
have one for you; if not, send to Philadel
phia.
The Keystone Watch Case Company is
the largest concern of its kind in the world.
Its capacity is 2500 cases per day. It man
ufactures every description of case, but itB
great speciality is that most popular of al
watch cases, the Jas. Boss gold filled.
These are equal in beauty and wear to solid
gold while they cost only about half as
much. Boss and other Keystone cases are
the only cases that have the non-pull-out
bow or ring, which saves the watch from
theft and accident. The Keystone Company
does not retiil, but our local dealers handle
the cases and swear by the theft-proof qual
ities of the ring.
Miss Prudeleigh Sir, how dare you?
Mr. Ratler (who has stolen a kiss) Ex
cuse me, I novcr would have dono it in my
sober senses.
Miss Prudeleigh Oh, indeed!
Bildad I understnad you havo been
making love to my wifo.
Tapleigh Er or
Bildad I want to givo you a warning!
Tapleigh Er er
Bildad Look at me, and see what you'll
come to if you persist. Good day.
First Man (to man who has tramped on
his foot in the cable car) Damned fool!
Second Man (bowing) -Glad to know you
sir.
He pleaded in vain.
"You loved rue once," he exclaimed, bit
erly. "Yes." she answered, "before I under
stood the game."
The girl was obdurate and there was
nothing for the professional umpire to do
but to bow to his cruel fate.
Time: 3 a. in.
Old Soak (stumbling)-
..
i i .
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Mrs. Soak Did you speak to me, dar
ling? Old Soak No, m'dam, I wash 'dressin'
th' chair.
Cholly Quickwit Who was that round
shouldered, ill-dressed little cad I saw you
with this morning?
Ethel (freezingly) That, sir. was my
fiance.
Cholly Good Gawd! You don't say so
What a magnificent contrast you will make.
Old Crusty (calling over the stairs)
Maria, is that young man going soon?
Maria I guess he's gone already, pa, by
the way he's acting.
$100 REWARD, SI 00.
The readers of this paper will be pleased
to learn that there is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure
in all its stages and that is catarrh. Hall's
Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being a constitutional disease, requires a
constitutional treatement. Hall's Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system, thereby destroying the foundation
of the disease, and giving the patieut
strength by building up the constitution
and assisting nature in doing its work.
The proprietors have so much faith in its
curative powers, that they offer One
Hundred Dollars for any case that it fails
to cure. Send for list of Testimonals.
Address, F.J. Ciienney 4 Co., Toledo,
Ohio. Sold by druggists, 7G cents.
M. JL. Chcuvront
Leonard, Mo.
In Agony
15 Years With Salt Rheum
Hood's Sarsaparilla Cave a Perfect
Cure.
"C. I. Hood SCo., Lowell. Mass.:
" food's ruirsaiurilLi Is an excellent medicine.
I had eczema In my le.'t leg for fifteen jears.
Tart of the time n:y leg was one mass of srai.s,
and about Mrrywirk ci.rrup.K.u .niil.l gather
uuder the s..la and the scr.bs v.ould sl-iii;;i oil.
Tho Itch'-ic snd Burning
sensation made me suffer Indescribable agonies.
I spent a great deal of money for different rem
edies but did not get relief. About a year ago,
leading physicians adtlsed me to take Hood's
Sarsaparilla. I did so and have taken f.'.e boU
Hood's'Cures
ties. Now all the sores, scabs and pain hava
vanished and I am enjoying perfect health. I
think Hood's SarsapnrilH Is second to none and
gladly recommend it to all sullerliig humanity."
M. L. Cnr.uvito.NT, Leonard, Missouri.
Hood's Pills act easily, yet promptly and
efficiently, on the liver and bowels. 2Sc
THE BEAUTY OF NIAGARA
can never be described and it has never
be described and it has never been pictured
so adequately and satisfactorily as in the
portfolio just issued by tho Michigan Cen
tral, "The A'iagara Falls Route." It con
tains fifteen large plates from tho best in
stantaneous photographs, whicn cannot be
bought for as many dollars. These can be
bought for ten cents by sending to II.
H. Marley. S. W. Pass, agent. Union de
pot, Kansas City, Mo.
A e You Go'ng South?
Then call or write for one of our descrip
tive pamphlets on Arkansas, Texas, Miss
ouri, Oklahoma, etc., issued by the Missouri
Pacific. Harvest excursion dates Sept. 11th,
25th and October 9th. City Ticket Office,
1201 O street.
SUBSCRIBE FOR THE
GOURIER.