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About The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903 | View Entire Issue (June 9, 1894)
15 A DEMOCRATIC VIEW. A VISION OF BLISS. THE COURIER k Tho leading democratic nowspaper of tho United States, tho New York Sun, publishes tho following catechism: Do you see tho man? I do see tho man. Who is tho man? Grovor Cleveland. Who is Grover Cleveland? Tho President of the United States. How did go got there? Tho Democratic party put him there. What is tho Democratic party? It is what swiped tho Republican party off tho face of tho earth in 1892. Did it?- That was tho inference. How was it done. By promises. What kind of promises? Promises to do what tho people demanded by tho majority to bo done. Havo tho promises keen kept? Yes, kept in the background, where they can't bo got at. What are these promises? The substance of things hoped for, tho evidence of things not seen- Ah, faith? Tho samo, but tho works are rusty. Who is doing this? Tho threo Cs. Tho three Cs? Yes; Cuckoos, Compromise, and Cleveland. Do Democrats favor this combination? No, no, no! Why don't thoy spit on their hands and take another hold? Their hands are tied. Can't they kick? ' " ' They can and they do. Does it avail nothing? D little. Eutwait. Is there no balm in Gilead? If there is, tho Wilson bill has got a duty on it. What is tho Wilson bill? It is a sop to Cerberus. Who's Cerberus? Ask the promoters of the bill. "v." Do they know. They think they do. - ' - - When will they know for sure? ' In 189G. x What will happen then? They will feel the trouble which every one else feels now. Scene A narrow strip of sand, upon which tho waves beat dis mally. Tho moon shines toarfully through a bank of dark clouds. Four grim sheoted iigurcs stand six paces apart, eyeing each o'thor suspiciously. First Ghost (snappishly) I came hero for solitude I don't boo why you should wish to intrudo on my privacy. Tho Threo Other Ghosts Who aro you? First Ghost I am tho bathing-suit joko and I'm sick of lifo, so t camo down hero to drown myself. Second Ghost I'm tho hammock joko and that's exactly what I'm here for. Third Ghost I'm tho mosquito joko and that's my game exactly. Lets all drown together. (They do so.) Fourth Ghost (retreating up tho beach) I'm tho editor who has had to read 'em. I intended suicide, but as thoy'ro dead, I'll think better of it and retire to tho hotel for a drink. Town Topics. ENVY. A little cat A puny, waspish thing, that scratched and spat, t And showed its claws and sprawled upon the mat, And viowing mo as some intruder bold, It of my trousers leg took vicious hold, And miawed most dismally At mo Until my lady took it on her knee. ' A littlo cat Wee, furry thing my lady kissed and stroked At seeing which, I very nearly choked " . With envy of tho wretched little beast - That sho adored, to say tho very least And wished, religeously, You see, I were that cat, to sit upon her knee. Toxcn Topics. UNTRUE, OF COURSE. A good story, which is, of course, untrue, is told on Judge Dur ham. The incident is said to havo happened while he was Controll er of the Currency. One Sunday, so tho story goes, tho judge, who is a devout man, went to church in Washington. Tho audience was an inspiring one and tho sermon a good one. When tho minister had quit speaking he said: "Now let us return thanks to the Great Controller of the Universe.' No sooner had the words been uttered than tho judge, who is a gentleman of the old school arose and publicly thanked the preacher for tho distinguished honor ho had paid him. RUDGE & MORRIS CO., FwuvYWRt, Stomas &to Hmtomre We are receiving 'new goods all the time. And the new goods are the goods to buy. .The Quick Meal Gas Range takes the lead. The Leonard Hardwood Cleanable Refrigerator can't he heat, and sold only by & OFO 111222 K SMEET