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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 27, 1921)
8 M IN THE CASE OE BULE JOSEPHINE DASKAM BACON THE BEE: OMAHA, SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1U21. The Brother Who Just Couldn't Settle Down Gives the Whole Family the Shock of Its Life OF course It all dependa upon what you think of th family at an Institution. And I freely admit that the mora you think about It th mora confusing It gets. Tak my later' family, for Inttanc. I don't how a woman could consider her family mora thoroughly or worry over It mora efficiently than Claris doet. And It I surely all tha mora credit to her, because aha hai ao many other V ,objectt and Interest In life, nn& o much mora vo worry about than the average woman. Tou know my tliiter, of course Clarissa Etherlrtg Elton. If you haven't read her nov la and atorlea you hav probably been Jo her piayi, and If you are not familiar wun either of theae you probably know about her chlld-plac-' In society. It's quite likely that In your own town at tha preaent moment there axa one or mora children that have been adopted through ("the "Help a Home" society; well, my slater haa done as much for th Help a Horn by writing: and speaking and organizing branchea of It aa any other on person. I feel that I ought to mention these facts In. the very beginning, out of fairness to Rlssa. so that nobody will get the Idea that ah Is on of those geniuses that neglects her family; how could ahe, feeling1 aa sho does about families? You can see that for yourself. And there's , no doubt In tho world that Bill Is and always was (and always will be, probably) a terriffic problem. He is our brother, Rlssa a and mine, and very much younger. H was a surprise to begin with mother never ex pected him and I suppose he got a little , tolled, maybe, on that account. I well remem- , r trying to rock Bill to sleep when he had a jo re throat once and I was so small I couldn't get him Into my lap with all the blankets, too. It was me being- rather small for my age and Bill being simply huge that made the trouble. Nobody can blame Rlssa for being a little Impatient with Bill, and a little hard on him, sometimes. She's been so splendid about him and ao generous to him and everything, that It' is certainly rather trying to have him more trouble to her than her own three children put together. And he la; he certainly is. You see, BUI unfortunately seems to have In- herited a lot of Rissa's brilliancy and fasci 1 nating ways without her common sense and Vnanaglng ability, If you see what I mean. i ; wnavs mo gooa or. nis Drains u no aoesn i ytget anywhere with 'em?" she often aska me, and, of course, In a way she's right; what Is the good of 'em? I never had any brilliancy or any fascinating ways myself, and this makes It much easier for ! me, of course, as I've noticed for many years that both of these things seem to get you in a lot of trouble. Always living with Rissa, more or less, and seeing her through a great many difficulties (connected with different men, and then the children and her professional engage ments and all tha accounts of the Help a Home national committee) I have necessarily got used to the artlstio temperament, you see; and I don't mind admitting to you that sometimes when things have been at their most compli cated (Clarry overdrawing her allowance at boarding school, for Instance, and Penelope sneaking off to the moving pictures when we thought she was at dancing school, and little f Sarlesy running an awful temperature and it was only a pound of milk chocolate he'd eaten), I don't mind, as I say, admitting that to have Rlssa walking the floor tearing her hair at the imbecilities of the National Help a Home board and refusing to give' a nice Interview ' to the Theater Magazine man with the photographer --Waiting In the hall and the drawing room all ar ranged for a simple domestic picture I don't mind admitting, I have to repeat again, that I have sometimes felt that it would be almost Just as well if there had never been anything like the artistic temperament in the world Having Rissa so well known , ; has always made it hard for EiU in a way, too. He really writes very well himself and was an editor on the Harvard Lampoon, and I shall always feel that he might have been a real writer (though of course not so good as Rissa, probably, ever) except he was always, too self-conscious about ' her, to do It very seriously, himself. , And his acting was wonderful; I always thought he did the best girl's parts I ever saw a man do.' But he would never do that, either, on account of Rissa's ' knowing so many theatrical people. Bill's awfully proud, you see. , It all started after that terrible love affair of his. Looking back I can see that Rissa ' seemed to lose .faith in Bill after that and, not take much interest. I felt, myself, that we were lucky that she wasn't on the stage, or an adventuress, or something., Of course it was bad enough,, her being- married, but still in a way that was good, because Bill couldn't marry her then and look at the people foolish young men marry! . I always thought that what made Rissa the most furious was the girl's being a socialist and wearing glasses. .' It's so Idiotic!" she said, "just like Bill to go and make a fool of himself over a thin woman with spectacles!" She had a baby, too, about 2 years old. and a very tiresome husband who didn't know how to manage her and played on the French horn to amuse himself it really was annoying to have him make such a friend of Bill and not seem to care to try to do anything about It. He only med to want to be left alone to practice on that French horn. " It wasn't at all like a love affair in a book or a play; none of xts knew how to go about it, exactly, because nobody was angry or tragic r mada any scenes at all, except Rissa. She made me. go to see Mr. Wltpen (that was his name) and try to get him to forbid BUI to come to the house, but I couldn't seem to accomplish anything;, somehow. "O, well," he would say, and after that "O, well ..." ? It really was very difficult. , Finally, when BUI was actually going to run away with her, Mr. Wltpen seemed to wake up to It and settled the whole thing, after all. but how do you think he did it? Nobody would have dreamed of such a thing, and yet it was really very simple. He told Crystal (that was her name) that she must take the baby if she went, as he simply couldn't be responsible for her. It was a little girl, named Marigold. He I was very firm about this, and of course Bill I and Crystal hadn't planned to, the child being mn vnimff-. kvpii TXin saw thni- ihpv rnuldn t tnlcK or it ail, ana i was getting notes to come f Immediately, and Rissa was simply white aa a ' sheet and pertectly speecmess which always worries me frightfully. Crystal finished the while thins, (though she never knew tt) by calmly suggesting that Marigold should be placed for a while by the Help a Home till she was big enough not to be such a problem! I suppose it was being such a socialist that made it seem so simple to her, but it shocked BUI terribly, tnougn ne never aarmttea it, ana lie Opld rne that he had decided they were both . young to attempt to Dring about such a big octal reform and that bad as the marriage laws were, people would have to be educated out of them gradually. Of course it was a great relief, and I should have supposed Rissa would , hav been glad enough to let it go at that, but she never let Bill alone, from then on. She really almost Bagged him, you might say. And of course he Cot rather sneering- and made a point of being t late at the office and kept hinting at oil stock was going to buy, and teased Rissa generally. It got very unpleasant and X finally spoke to htm about It. "Why will you act this way, BUI? X said. "Tou know as well I do how tweet and reasonable Illaaa always Is If only .you manage her a little. What l th us of exasperating her?" "My dear Flops," h said. In that absurd nian-of-the-world way, "not having mad th management of our celebrated sister a profes sion, ss you hav. I can't quit se why I should take It up now, Sh can't expect to hav th entire population of the glob kow-towing to her, you know." 'That' perfect nonsense and very unfair, Bill," I said, but he only sneered and put his hands In his pockets like John Drew, "You know that Rlssa only wants " "I know that she only want her own way, Sh 1 the worst spoiled woman on this planet," he Interrupted me. "8h certainly ha a right to what she wants In her own house," X said, "and sine you and I live her I should auppos that th least we do" "Ah," he said, "now you'v said It! Too many of us live here, I suppose you mean. Well, I've felt that for some time and I agree with you that I'd better leave." "Why, Bill, how can you say such a thing?" I said, "You know I never meant" "But I meant," he said, "and as a matter of fact I've already made other arrangements, so there' no us Jawing about It, Flops." "What other arrangements?" I asked. I wa quit worried, for you never know, with Bill. "I am going In with two of my friends and we're going to have some rooms together," "O." I said. "Hav you how are you are you going to be able to " 'Shamm "O, by the way, Flops," he 'added, "can you lend me a few hundred to begin with and my share of the furnishing and so forth? I'm a little low Just now." Wasn't that exactly like Bill? " It Just happened that I had only a. few dol lars in the bank myself. It was after Christ mas and the children all get behind then, and Rissa is strict about their allowances, which is perfectly all right, of course, only It never works, so they borrow it from me and make it up when they can. And it seems very silly, seeing how well I know the Help a Home, but I had just been to a big meeting where Rissa spoke for it, and she got me so wrought up that I subscribed for six months of a probationary child before I knew what I was doing! Well I went to Rissa and simply said, "Can you lend me some money, dear?" And she said, "Why, certainly, Florrie; just make it out with the other checks. You know how much we can stand this month don't for get the school bills are coming, that's all." That's Just like Rissa. She'll give you the shoes off her feet if you need them. And never asks what for. So I lent Bill $250, and as a matter of fact he always pays it back. Only he says he'd rather borrow from me than Rissa, which is absurd, she being generosity Itself. I offered to help him pick out some things for the new apart ment, but he didn't want any help, he said he had his own ideas. I was a little worried about that because It's not to be expected that three young men should make a really satisfactory Interior, you know, but really, when I went there to tea with them I had to admit they had done very well indeed. And they said it was all Bill's Ideas, too. He'd been poking about at auctions and picked up some real bargains, sur prisingly cheap. Of course Rissa was furious. She thought he shouldn't have gone away and got quite angry with me because I said that after all he wasn't a baby, and young people had to decide those things for themselves. Sarles agreed with me. "Let the boy go, Rissie," he said, "It may be the best thing for him." Sarles is Rissa's husband I don't know if I mentioned him before and a very nice man. There's not much to say about him. He's quite a well known throat specialist and very fond of chess. He always got on very well with Bill, but he always admitted he was spoiled. "If only he'd show some real bent for some thing anything!" Rissa used to say. "I don't care what it is -if he'd even had a hobby! Why, he never even collected stamps!" She always insisted that Bill would never amount to anything because he never wanted to collect stamps. Of course I sCe what she meant, but I never cared for stamps myself; I never could see why anyone should want them. So that always made me easier on Bill, per haps. "He doesn't care for music, he doesn't go in for sports, he hates business, of course medicine and law are out of the question how can a human being- have so few interests?" she used to complain and walk up and down the floor. "He loves to fish," I would remind her. "Fishing!" she would fling back at me, "fish ing! He likes fishing, in my opinion, because it's the laziest sport there is! I believe he just lies in the boat and smokes f I often wondered myself just what BiU did at the office. He was in marine insurance and went into New York every day, but It never seemed to interest him at all. Rlssa used to complain that he never talked about it at home. "Talk about it?" he said, "what is there to talk about, sis? Did you want to insure the Phantom? The Phantom is our canoe, and the children all laughed and Rissa got rather vexed. There's no doubt BUI was difficult. One reason I was glad that BUI left was that I was afraid he was getting- a little accus tomed to having everything done for him. You tee, after all, he only made $35 a week, and al though he always paid In $15 of that every week, which was the most he could have af forded, still he wouldn't ordinarily have had the services of a butler for that, you know, and his clothes taken care of. and a lift into town nearly every day. And yet. as Rlssa always said, why shouldn't he have all those things? With three able-bodied men servants attached to th family, why should Bill press his trous ers? There really had to be three, you : Houghton, th butler, and th two chauffeurs Rlssa' and Barle'. Of eours Series -had to hav on to get him to th h6spltal and his clinic and th call he had to make. And If he was using Eldredg In town, how could Rlssa get any good out of htm In Oak Ridge? How could sh ever go anywhere? So Joseph did most of th repairs and really looked after both cars, and Eldredg, who used to be a valet, took car of Barles' clothes. And Bill's clothe weren't much more for him to do, and as a mat ter of fact, Eldredg adored Bill and would rather fuss over him than 8arles; BUI did him nior credit, he said. But all th servants sdored DHL He wa ever to much loftier with them than Sarles was and I must say they seemed to like It Bill teased Houghton dread fully and Houghton only blushed and laughed and said: - "Certlngly. Mr. William, certingly, sir. 'Ow you do go on, sir!" n ya, Mi Blmir, twr kmmwimg BUI was always Joking him about th money he made. You see Houghton had a good deal of spare time, like all butlers, and he was al ways Improving It. As Rissa used to say, If only Bill could use his odd minutes as Hough ton did, she'd have more respect for him! "Odd minutes!" Bill would reply, "heavens above, Riss, all that man's minutes are odd! He's a joke. The heaviest job he has Is to look like a butler. I'll admit he does that to the queen's taste. But If he ever had to do any real work he'd die of surprise." "He's a very efficient man. You have no Idea what you're talking about, as usual, Bill," Rlssa would say. Then they would go at i.t and argug for minutes together. , One day at the shore Bill came up to my room with a sheet of typewriter paper in his hand. He was grinning from ear to ear, and quite pleased with himself I could see. "Look here, Flops," he said, "I think I may say I've got this question of Houghton's time pretty well-settled. I mad? a point of keeping tabs on him all day yesterday, and here's the result. Now perhaps I'm wrong!" The ridiculous boy had a regular time table of what Houghton had done all day and really it was rather amusing. "In the morning," said Bill "he got up at seven-thirty, had his breakfast at eight, waited at ours, at eight forty-five poked about a bit in that pantry of his, answered the phone six times, made a bluff at arranging those flowers you brought in, and rowed Annie for upsetting his glass or something, and rowed Jessie for not dusting his bedroom, and rowed Asa Dodd for mislaying the row locks on his boat That took all the morning. Then he waited at lunch. Then he had his precious 'time oft,' " - "Well, Bill, you know we're always very par ticular about their time off at the shore," I re minded him. ' " , "Gosh, yes, I know It," he said. "I sat in the apple tree and watched 'em going down to their dock for their swim. I nearly died." It was rather funny. First Marietta the cook waddles down in an immense bathrobe, then - Joseph (if he's free) and his two children, then Jessie (she's a beautiful swimmer and ouf) guests often watch her diving with field glasses), then Annie in a scarlet suit and cap; then the kitchen maid; who is awfully pretty, and Mrs. Joseph is jealous of her, unfortunately; then Asa, the edd-job man. Eldredge's daughter Is with me in the summer, so she goes in with them, too. Then last of all Houghton strides along, looking perfectly magnificent in his Jer sey and trunks. He is a very powerful swim mer and has two life saving medals he won in England. He gets into his boat and takes one or two of the girls and rows out like a 'varsity crew man beyond Dead Man's Reef and fishes there before he swims. "Well," Bill went on, "after his majesty had his row and his Swim he came back and changed, and then he sat In his 'shirt sleeves and made lace until tea time. Two telephone calls and one ring at the front bell. Then tea. He hustled you through with that double quick and got Nellie to set his dinner table, because he was late with a lace order that had to go off parcel post insured last night. After dinner he read one of Rissa's stories to Nellie and Marietta and he brought Sarles' Scotch and soda at ten. He's a bird, he is." "Why, Bill," I said (I couldn't help laugh ing), "how did you see all this? Did you "O, I snooped about and Sherlocked around. I can usually manage when I have to, Flopsy," he said. It Is rather funny about Houghton's lace work. To see him with his tiny bobbins and hundreds of fine linen threads, sticking pins into a cushion with those big, ' broad tipped fingers of his, is quite a shock till you're used to It .His mother made and repaired lace in England and taught all her children there were eleven of them how to do it And Houghton took It up for a sort of wager, to prove that he could, you see, and Rlssa heard of it and bought it It was a lovely pattern, like a . Spanish Rose Point, a tort of mixture, the best he could remember. And then some of our guests ordered some, and soon he got all he could da . He has a book of patterns under' the silver cleaning drawer, and torn of the people who come to the house always remem- ' ber him and bring him new ones. "You don't teem ever to remember, Bin, that y r placm mm tatter Man yea dJ If If Houghton wasn't ready In th afternoons he'd be of no use," I told him. "Suppose he was cleaning the floor or polishing the door knobs, and a lot of people came to call? That's what a butler is for." , "So , I understand," he said.. "But if Sarles had any sense he'd take Houghton's Job and send Houghton over to his office; then he'd get time to write those histories . of his cases he's always Jawing about!" "Don't be absurd, Bill," I said, though I had to laugh. "Absurd!" he answered, "don't fool yourself, Flops, my dear, it's not absurd at all. ; It's plain common sense. Why, see here, how much does he get?" "Servants are terrible, BUI, nowadays. He gets a hundred. We had a raise him this sum mer. He's wonderful about sorting out strang ers and reporters." ' "A hundred! Gosh! And his board and clothes! Why, I don't make that!" "Well, of course, you aren't a butler. You have to remember that. Would you like to 'wait on the table?" I asked. "Humph!" was all he said, and walked out reading his ridiculous time table. Of course, after Bill took his rooms in town we saw much less of him, as was to be expected. He came out pretty . regularly on Sundays, though, and one day he sent us all into fits of laughter telling us how Houghton, on his after noon off, came over to see htm and made quite a call. Houghton was much interested in the little apartment and cleaned all the silver for them and showed them how to arrange the pan try more conveniently, and gave the woman who managed for them a regular lesson in cook ing and serving at once. He told them how he began as knife boy in a big English house where his sister was what they called a "tweeny," and how he worked up to a second man and finally to butler a complete history of buttling. Bill said. He showed them his Eng lish references from Lady Somebody or other. He made a number of different drinks for them, too, and gave a regular lecture on how to serve them. ' Bill said he and George Hanksworth learned a lot that day! Bill said that It was wonderful, the way Houghton was paying a visit and at the same time- never overstepping his position by a centimeter. . " "And we tried to make him, too," said Bill, i "I don't doubt you did," Rlssa answered, rather snippily, "but one of you, at least, had a sense of propriety!" They hadn't been in that apartment three months before the crazy things sublet it and moved to another an unfurnished one and furnished it all over again! I say they were crazy, but really, when you come to think of it, they weren't exactly, because they got such a big rental for it that they . bought all the things' for the new one and still had a lot left! George Hankworth's uncle liked the rooms so much that he took them for the rest of the year. And George and the other boy said it was all owing to Bill's cleverness in furnishing it, and Insisted on his taking most of the money. He speculated with it, I'm sorry to say, and made four hundred dollars, and paid me the two hundred and fifty I'd borrowed from Rissa. He also gave me a lovely dark blue morocco handbag. Of course, this was perfectly sweet of him and I simply loved it, but all the same I was worried a little. You see, whenever BUI gives me a nice present like that I can't help wondering what he's going to do next! It's only because it's happened before, and it's usually something we think he oughtn't to have done. So when we learned that they had sublet this new apartment, after two weeks, for more money than the first one,' even, and that Bill was dragging them on to a third, and keeping away from the office to buy bargains for it I thought that this was why I got my bag, nat urally. Little did I guess! s Bill came up for Sunday, and I thought he seemed very nervous and inattentive, even for him. Every time the telephone rang he'd Jump up and go to it, and if Houghton got there be fore him, he'd wait about while Houghton was talking and say: "Who is It? Who Is It? Do they want to see" me?" "Do yon expect a call, BUI?" I asked finally, and he grinned rather sheepishly and said, "Well, yes, Flops, as it happens, I rather do." 8o, of course, X guewted that It was a girl, and that Kill wat In lov again. X did hop th wasn't married. At last Houghton cam up to Hill "A lady for you. sir," he tald, looking a Utile puixled. "I couldn't get th nam, tlr, unlett it might b Blair?" "Oh, yea, yes, that't It," tald Bill, and Jumped off. "It wat In th matter of a" "Yea, yes, that' all right 1 know, X know," BUI interrupted, and ran Into th little telephone room. "Bog pardon, Mr. William, but that receiver' out of order l'v put you on In th Ilbr'y," tald Hout'hlon. "Oh, fudge!" tald Hill. II wat plainly very much embarrassed, and I couldn't htlp feeling that this must be th real thing, this time, because Bill wat never embar rassed about a girl before. "Yes," we heard him any (Snrle and I were In the morning room) "this It Mr. Etherldge, yea, Indeed, MUs Blair , , , yet, th asked in to take It up with you . . oh, Im mensely busy, of course, yet . , , anything w ran do to tuk thing off her, at you tay. "Oh a long time, yet several years. Abso lutely , . , not a fault, to fur at w know, ... Of course we are, terribly torry, but what's the use? The city, you know! Oh, no, , we've made other arrangement Any tlm that tultt you. Not at all. (iood bye!" He turned away from the telephone, looking very relieved and happy. "There!" he said, "that't done!" "For heaven't sake, BUI, what deviltry are you up to now?" Sarlet asked. ' "Rlssa'a upstairs, you know, If anybody want ed her," I put in. "Deviltry!" said BUI, "how little you know me, Dr. Elton! As a matter of fact, I've Just arranged one of the most sensible, practical, really useful things I ever did in my life." "Of course, that's saying a great deal," said Sarles, in that funny dry way he has. , Bill grinned. "You sounded as if you were giving a refer ence for a waitress, or something," said I. "I think he's selling a dog for somebody on a ' commission basis," said Sarles. Then Bill sat down on the floor and laughed till he choked. We' had to laugh, too, he kept it up so. . I shall always remember the queer, settled sort of look that came over Rissa'a face when we got his note, a day or two after that visit. It -was a very worrying little note. He wrote In the airiest possible way that he'd left the Marine Insurance for good, as he never had liked it, really, and never got enough time to himself, there! Ho had enough money to live on for a while, he said, and meanwhile he'd look about with a view to going into something entirely different, ultimately. "Don't be alarmed, Flops," he nded, "It's nothing to do with a girl!" He also said he'd look in on Sarles from time to time, to reassure us all. "Very ' well," tald Rissa quietly; "that's enough. I'm through." Of course, I knew she' didn't mean it, but she looked awfully settled. I slipped up to the new apartment, a few days later, and took them some rhubarb jam and some nut-cakes. George Hanksworth was there, and he didn't seem at all perturbed about Bill. He admitted to me that he hadn't the remotest idea what he was doing, but that he had no doubt it was all right I couldn't make out whether Bill was actually living there, but all his things were there. Even ( the clothes in his bureau drawers. ; Sarles called up the Marine Insurance and they told him that Bill, though a young man of undoubted ability, had not seemed for some time to be noticeably adapted to office routine of f, their particular kind. "Nor to routine of any kind," Rlssa said, and put her Hps together very tightly. Bill asked me to tea with him at the Ritz one day the next week, and looked very well and happy, though rather mysterious and excited, I thought Hardly had we got seated before he . Jumped up and said the table was tippy and he wanted another one. I hadn'f noticed it, and it's usually quite enough to put a bit of paper under the leg, anyway, but he insisted upon" going over into a corner, absolutely under the orchestra. He turned his back squarely on the room you would have almost thought he didn't want to be seen. Only that isn't at all like Bill, and even if it was so, why go to the Ritz? But there was no good asking him anything I knew BUI when he was In that state of mind. You've Just got to take him on his own terms. So I did (which Rlssa said was dis terms. . After that, I determined not' to worry. Goodness knows how long it might not have gone on if it hadn't been for the "Help a Home." They had just formed a new upper West Side Manhattan local committee, and Rissa went up and made a big speech in the ball room of one of the big hotels there. The chairman was a Mrs. Plympton, a very rich woman indeed, and the National Board was much thrilled, and t when she asked if some one from Headquarters could come up and talk with her personally about the work, they asked Rissa if she would go, since after all, it was her speech that had got the woman so interested. Of course, Rissa agreed immediately, and I went with her. Mrs. Plympton lived in an enormous white stone house on the Riverside Drive. There was a great stone hall all full of red velvet and palms and a large marble statue and a tall foot man. We went up a wide marble staircase with rugs hanging over the rail and a suit of armor on the landing, into a simply enormous drawing room all full of gold furniture. Rissa kept saying: "For heaven's sake!" under her breath, and glancing at me, but I couldn't answer anything because I was so busy trying not to fall over the head3 of the polar bear rugs, which always make me frightfully nervous. By and by Mrs. Plympton sailed in, in a beautiful but rather elaborate dress, wearing a great many pearls and diamonds, but really a very kind, good sort of woman, all the same. ( "Oh, I am so pleased to meet you for so many reasons!" she burst out, and Rissa smiled very sweetly and thanked her very easily; she is so accustomed' to that sort of thing, you see, it means nothing to her. I should be embar rassed to death, I know. "You have given us all so many beautiful and interesting things, Mrs. Elton, but your last gift, though only we have the benefit, is such a treasure to us!" the lady gushed on. Rissa looked a bit bored, but I was really puzzled I thought maybe Mrs. Plympton had adopted a baby through the Help a Home. "I can't thank you enough oh, here is my daughter," sho went on. "Marjory, this is Mrs. Elton Mrs. Clarissa Etheridge Elton, you know." Such a lovely girl came In, with chocolate brown hair and beautiful, clear, brown eyes, and a very high color, like an English girl. "She is going to tell us all about those dear, poor little babies," said Mrs. Plympton; "my daughter, Marjory, Mrs. Elton, Miss Etheridge. Is the tea coming, dearest?" "Yes, mother, he it's just here," said the girl, and I saw the butler, myself, far down the room, stepping carefully over the polar bears. Just as I had done. Indeed he was trying to peer over his large silver tray, to see them. I turned away my face, so as not to smile, and suddenly there was a terrible clatter and clash ing, and the butler whirled entirely around and hurried back again as fast as he could go! "Why, what is that?" said Mrs. Plympton, looking nervously around. Her daughter stared and half got up and then sat back again. "I I don't know, mother," she said. She looked worried, I thought "He seems quite agile." said Rlssa coldly, and t knew th was wishing ah hadn't come, "it mimt be tery difficult to pirouette, Ilk that and not brtk anything!" , ' "II never did It before," laid Mia l'ljmi" ton, ttarlng at u. "Da you tuppun It could hav bten th thock of teeing ou?" , "Th lh shock of teeing me?" Jtlnta re peated, tilting up tUout a foot hither In her golden rhair and looking rather terrible. "My dear Mr. I'lympton, what ran you mean? But lrt hav withmooil th thock before, tt tny rate." "Oh, no, mother doesn't mean , . . th meant . . ." poor Marjory tried to explain. "I ought to hav told him you were coming," Mrs. Plympton went on very mournfully, "but, to tell the truth, I thought he would be to pleated "rivused! I'lesaed!" IUa repeated, flashing tn awful gtnnc at me. (I knew th would sty, "Why did you bring mo to thlt mad house?" th minute we got Into th car.) "Yet. Ha always tpeakt to beautifully of you," Mra I'lympton gasped, and KUna gniped, too. "I am, of course, deeply grateful for his com meiulutlou," th began, but Mr. I'lympton kept on. "And I'm turo he would be pleased, really." "He taket an extraordinary method of dis playing It, to tay the leant," said Rlssa. "I think, Florence, w must " "Oh, don't go!" cried Marjory, "the tea It here, now please don't go, Mra. EIton!', A very pretty parlor muld with yellow hair camo hurrying over the parlor bears, which he managed very cleverly, and put down th tray on a golden, table with twisty legs. Sh was breathing fast, but otherwise calm, "Ah, now we shall feel better," tuild Mrs, riympton. "May I give you cream or do you take lemon, dear Mrs, Elton?" "I take it clear, thanks," ald Rlssa. "Marjory darling, pass the muffins to Mrs. Elton. Ettie, what Is the matter with " "He had a turn, Mrs. Plympton, a bad one. Ho is very sorry, but it's passing off." said the girl, with a queer, quick glance ut Murjory. "Oh, mother, perhaps I'd belter "Marjory looked quite concerned and got up again. "Nonsense, sit still," said her mother. "Did he have them with you, Mrt. Elton, ever?" Rlssa put her cup down very decidedly. "My dear Mrs. Plympton," she began, as cold as Ice and sharp as a razor, "I cannot imagine what you can possibly mean. I never, naturally, saw your butler before, and his constitution is entirely a mystery to me!" "You never taw Houghton before?" cried Mrs. Plympton and Marjory, staring at us curiously. "Why, Mra Elton, how can you say such a thing, when you sent him to us, and I have seen your references yours and Lady What't-her-name's!" "Houghton?" said Rissa, "Houghton?" "Certainly, Houghton. Your old butler, Houghton," said Mra Plympton firmly. "You admit that he left you, I suppose?" Rissa turned and glared at me. "Unless he has left since he waited on us at luncheon, I can hardly admit it and retain my reason," she answered. "But we've had him a month!" walled Mrs. Plympton. We all looked at each other. "I am afraid some one has been deceiving you, Mrs. Plympton," Rlssa said," chilly, but very polite. "These things do happen, un fortunately " 'Mother! I must go!" cried Marjory sud denly, and the Jumped up and hurried down' the room. "My dear," her mother began, but the par lor maid dropped the little tray that I had noticed was shaking in her, hand and stamped her foot. ' . ' , , "Indeed, your dear It not the only one that's been deceived in this house!" she burst out and dashed off after Marjory and passed her at the door. ' Poor Mrs. Plympton was utterly ttunned. "Why, why, this is terrible!" she murmured. "I don't know what you'll think of us, Mrs. " Just then we heard a loud angry scream that quite Echoed through the house. We all jumped and Rissa got up and walked straight out, past our hostess. "I think our little talk had better take place under more favorable circumstances, at some later date, Mrs. Plympton," said she. "Come Florence," and I came. Unfortunately, in order to avoid the bears (though Rissa stalked grandly, right through them) I turned off to the right and went down the wrong red stairs. I pushed nervously tt a , darK rea baize uoor ana tummea into a' big, ' beautiful pantry." The butler was sitting all bent over in a chair with Marjory leaning over him, and the parlor maid trying to drag her away. "Houghton! Houghton! What does It all mean?" Marjory was saying, half sobbing, and the maid screamed out: ' "Shame on you, Miss Blair, for knowing your place no better than you do! Get out of this pantry!" - In her excitement she slapped Marjory's arm, and the girl turned on her, caught both her wrists and shook her like a doll. She began to cry and, scream and the butler turned around and it was Bill! "Oh! B " I cried, but I never got it out His look stopped me. Even in my lrght and . confusion I realized that he looked Just like Rissa. It was one of her terrible, lightning looks, and my voice stuck in my throat. "Get out. Get out," he said, very low. "I'll see you tomorrow. Get out, for God's sake!" I turned right around and started for the door, and as I turned I heard him say very sharply: "Ettie! Shut up! Go out of here, you little fool." I turned back as 1 pushed through the baize door, and saw him looking at Marjory, and I felt very queer suddenly at something I saw in his eyes. I realized all at once that Bill was a man. .' "Marjory," he said, "listen to me . ..." I stumbled up the stairs and when I got to the drawing room door I glanced in, not think ing, really. There sat poor Mrs., Plympton in the big gold chair, Just as we Had left her, with her mouth open like a scared pink and white rabbit, and all her pearls and diamonds shining! ' I plunged into the car and Rissa was waiting, perfectly furious. "Another moment and I should have sent the police into that mad house!" she said. "Home, Joseph." Bill turned up tho next day. We thought he would be quite chastened and ashamed, but he wasn't at all. He told us all about it He .said it dawned on him when he made that time table about Houghton, that there was the only Job where he'd get any leisure. He wanted time to plan out furnishing apartments, he said, like Houghton's lace-making, and he thought it would be a lark, anyway. So he borrowed the English reference and wrote one from Rissa and went about till he found a new rich person who didn't know much about butlers, and then he simply did everything just as he liked. Mrs. Plympton had married again and Marjory's father had been quite different though poor. She had fallen head over heels in love with BUI, though she didn't know it and when the crash came, he realized that he was in "love with her, too. And he was. . He never looked that way at Mrs. Witoen. And so all Rissa's plans for disciplining him simply went for nothing, because Mr. Plympton thought it was a rich Joke .and gave Marjory a million Immediately and told Rlssa that she might write plays, but Bill acted 'em! He has a big Insurance department In his business and he put Bill right into it and his salary is $5,000 a year to begin. And if that isn't enough as he says. Bill can always be a butler! ICaalrriahk. Mil. fir JoiaBblaa Xukaia BlCOSat m J