THE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY, MAY 21, 1918.
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY
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Business for the week: The Red Cross.
Mi
. I f
Do not worry about the slogan just give to
the Red Cross.
' Early. to dinner and an evening at, the
park is the program now. ,
ball
These be sad days for idlers in Omaha, with
job. on the one hand and police court on the
other. ' ;
Again the call is out to save wheat Keep at
it till the new crop in August lifts the world over
'.he crisis. ' I'
: Notice the exclusive news stories which read
ers are getting in The Bee from day to day
ihead of other papers.
t. ' ' mm
I t - ' ' " .
The weather gods are cutting too many didoes
for comfort just now, but generally crops are
Jjrivinfc, and that is what counts in the long run.
,,f;:.;-;';';.-T t ;,v . , '
'. Again i the theaters and their employes are
doing all they can to aid the good work, You
can always depend on the actors to help when
needed.
. Eleventh place in the clearing house record
was Omaha's standing last week. Envious com
petitors still are waiting for the drop that does
not come..' .v: : .. .,
Ran Johnson wants the base ball stackers
taken out of the shfp yards and sent to war. If
they won't play ball they must not be allowed to
make ships. ' This is one way to make base ball
unpopular. ' , '
Mr. Wilson has on file in Washington several
distinct pledges made by the kaiser, none of
which were observed, " thus being well fortified
'...! -i.lt.- .1- 1 J -.... Ml
-fool him with pretense .of peace.
It is hardly, likely that the people who handled
the money for the pro-German propaganda are
the ;"persons' of. wealth and influence" behind
the proposed new Omaha daily so long as the
hyphenated organ already here gives them all
hey could hope to buy with theif money.
Get at the Bedrock Facts.
The State .Council of Defense has formally
alleged misconduct and lack of patriotism against
twelve members of the teaching faculty of the
University of Nebraska. This is in response to
a request from the Board of Regents that formal
charges be filed. It is ncJw up to one or the other
of the bodies to give the accused a hearing, that
the facts may be ascertained and the matter dis
posed of. Since the council was organized a year
ago it has many times made charges against in
dividuals connected with the state schools.
Finally the matter seems to be coming to a head,
and we ought to know if any foundation for this
' continual criticism exists. Our great educational
institutions ought to be free from any taint of
disloyalty, but they ought also to be immune
from assault by persons whose xeal may lead
; them to extravagance or intemperance in utter
ance. Whatever body is charged' with ythe re-
- spousibility should lose no time in getting 'at
the bottom of the scandal and giving the people
the facts.
INTERESTING F TRUE, BUT
The hyphenated World-Herald picks up for
its sage comment a bit of gossip credited to
"Colonel" Al Sorenson revamping the periodical
project to establish another daily newspaper in
Omaha,this time to be backed by "a bunch of
stalwart republicans who think such a paper is
needed in Nebraska, and that Omaha is the place
for its headquarters." So many new dailies have
been launched in Omaha on paper without ma
terializing in fact that this scheme, if it existed
outside of anyone's mind's eye, will not be taken
any more seriously than the others, particularly
at the present time, when conditions of newspa
per publishing everywhere are far from tempt
ing. But if any "persons of wealth and influence"
really wanted to start another daily in Omaha,
the invitation would be to start, not a republican
paper, but a democratic paper one that would
be both honestly democratic and loyally Amer
ican at the same time; one that would voice the
sentiments of the patriotic democrats of Ne
braska who are not tainted with pro-Germanism
and who are out of sympathy with the guerilla
warfare waged on the Wilson administration by
the pseudo-democratic senator and his pretended
democratic newspaper. 1
If there is room for another daily in Omaha,
it is for a democratic paper that will quit cod
dling the kaiser, that will stand up unflinchingly
for America first and all the time, that will call
a spade a spade and not forbid the use of the
words "hun" or "boches" in its columns for fear
of offending its pro-German readers, that will
fight for Omaha and Nebraska and the United
States of America and stay on the firing line
when the battle is raging. ,
; ' Themes for Commencement Day.
Again it is being urged that themes for com
mencement day essays, orations or declamations
be selected with a view to stimulating and foster
ing the patriotism of the school children. This
is a reflex of the nation's situation, but deserves
the fullest of attention. While the purpose of
the school at all times is to develop love of
country and respect and reverence for its insti
tutions, late years have shown a tendency to
neglect this vital part of educational training.
Too much stress has been laid on other views,
under guise of broadening the mental horizon,
with the result that things closer home have
been lost signt of. Contact with war, has aroused
the whole nation from the complacency into
which it had fallen, and the danger resulting
from that indifference to our own interests is
now seen by all. More t$an ever is it clear that
the place to begin teaching patriotism is in the
public schools, where the foundations of citizen
ship are laid. No longer will any argue that to
instill a love of country, along with an under
standing and a high regard for its system of gov
ernment, its social advantages and its limitless
opportunities for the individual, smacks of chau
vinism or holds pretense of self-righteousness.
Patriotism rests finally on something deeper and
finer than simple reason, but in America we have
the consciousness that our every patriotic im
pulse, regardless of its birth, can be supported
by reason, the least selfish of any being as im- t-
portant as the most self-centered. Therefore,
the schools should be the brooding place where
the innate love of country of the child is nur
tured intp , the blossom of that fine devotion
which is thej highest and best form of patriotism
and the true mark of the freeman.
A Billion for the Railroads.
One of the advantages of government direc
tion of the railroads is, noted in the apportion
ment of a billion dollars to be expended for bet
terments and extensions among the great systems
of the country. The sum'is far below the estimate
once made by James J. Hill of the annual expen
diture necessary to get the railroads abreast of
their job. However, it ought to produce such
improvement in service as will,' with curtailments
and readjustments, much nearer meet the re
quirements of commerce, The distribution of
the allotment indicates a desire on part of the
administration to facilitate transportation from
the western fields to the seaboard,'
The situation contains other elements of im
mediate interest. Now that the entire problem
of transportation has been transferred from pri
vate to public control, utilization of waterways
is coming forward. For example, Secretary Mc
Adoo haSjUnder consideration a scheme for pro
viding the barges necessary to make- the great
Erie canal useful. This will unite federal and
state activity to the relief of the railroads from
the lake head to tidewater. Similarly , better at
tention will be given the navigable streams' of
the country, and even the long-neglected upper
reaches of the' Missouri are to be surveyed again
and perhaps used. Another year should see vast
changes in the general transpprtation' industry
of the country. , i a
Nothing in this commits the country to the
policy of public ownership. It is merely the adapt
ation of the central authority granted in the war
emergency ' to the solution of problems that
slowly would have been worked out under private
management with perfect co-operation forbidden
by federal statute. Lessons for the future are
contained in this and perhaps will be applied.
The Famine of Doctors
Need-of Better Classification to Conserve the Supply'
New York Evening Post,
During the first months of the war people
used to joke about the idea that nobody
could any longer afford to be sick because
all the doctors had gone to France with the
army. But this seeming absurdity threatens
now to become grim fact unless some sort
of sane system for controlling enrollment
into our medical reserve is evolved. At
least 10,000 have been enrolled by the gov
ernment; many of them have already gone
abroad; others are sailing as fast as ship
room can be found for fhem. These men
volunteered indiscriminately from all parts
of the country. It mattered not whether a
man was an expert of renown, a professor in
a medical college or an ordinary practitioner,
whether the town he lived in had been
stripped bare already and he happened to be
the last physician in his countryside. He
was eagerly accepted and sent abroad. It is
said that men of the highest value as experts,
men worth whole divisions, are doing ordi
nary surgeon's work on the French front, in
daily danger of German bullets. Surely
here is no sensible sort of procedure.
What the country needs is a plan accord
ing to which physicians shall be classified
when they offer their services to the army.
There appear to be enough physicians in the
country to meet both military and civilian
demands. Naturally, our fighting forces
come first Were there not enoueh doctors
.to go around, those of us who stay at home
wouia nave to dispense with medical at
tendance altogether. But there are enough.
It takes about seven to care for every 1,000
soldiers. We have approximately 70,000
practitioners in the country under the age of
55, the limit for active service. In other
words, we have about enough doctors to
meet the needs of an army of 10,000,000.
But, with only, 3,000,000 soldiers in sight,
less than 24,000 of the available 70,000 will be
required for the present, leaving fully 46.000
to look after civilian needs. These civilian
needs. fall into three categories, medical in
struction, public health service and private
practice. As Surgeon General Blue recently
said, for the protection of future generations
we must provide our colleges with good
teachers, so that their graduates may be of
high standard. Neither can we permit the
public health to be endangered by depletion
of the personnel of health departments and
hospitals. And finally, people must not be
deprived of ordinary medical attention from
the "family doctor. Any plan evolved will
have to take all these facts into considera
tion. .
Probably a medical map of the whole
country, showing the distribution of dodtors
at the present time, will have to be made.
Then, at a glance, the enrolling officer will
be able ' to tell whether, a volunteer comes
from some district already stripped bare or
whether he comes from a city like New
York, which for various reasons is, compara
tively speaking, oversupplied. No dgctor
should be taken if the neighborhood he has
been practicing in needs his services. Sim
ilarly, no professor oL a medical college
should be accepted unless, it can be shown
that his particular abilities are indispensable
to the army's welfare. In the same way
rigid inquiry must be made to discover
whether an applicant is not much more val
uable to the community in the civilian posi
tion he already occupies than he would be as
part of the military forces. His special abil
hies should not be wasted by assigning him
to duties that could be pertormed as well by
the average physician. And, above all, the
lives of our great specialists must not be
risked ih routine work.
In this matter of enrolling physicians for
the army these has doubtless been a lack of
planning and .forethought similar to that
which was responsible last year for the at
tempt to conscript our medical students.
The fault probably must be laid at the door
of the medical societies which have not taken
up the. subject with sufficient energy. Indi
viduals were, meanwhile, drawn to enlist
even when they knew that their usefulness
would be greater at home in a civilian ca
pacity than abroad in an American uniform.
Now, however, a real movement seems on
foot to correct the grave mistake that has
been made, and) to correct it before irrepara
ble injury can Result. In the near future the
surgeon-general will probably call a confer
ence at Washington of prominent medical
men, when the entire subject will be thor
oughly threshed out. Civilian physicians are
going to be consulted in the solution of this
problem, just as civilian experts were called
in to ihelp the government in other fields.
And, no doubt, a satisfactory, workable plan
covering our military needs, and at the same
time providing protection .for- the civilian
population, will be evolved.
,AfiN
Shameless War Rumor Mongers
Typical Case of Baseless Gossip Revealed by Grand Jury
St. Lous Globe Democrat.
The multitude of false, sensational .and
nimble-footed war rumors that have dis
tressed patriotic citizens and possibly inter
fered with the success of at least part of the
war auxiliary Work have, received the atten
tion of the grand jury and the judge of the
United States district court for the southern
district of New York. A woman who is
senior surgeon for a college for women and
children at Boston is charged with having
made a statement at Vassar college, or to
the president of the college, that "it was a
matter of common knowledge that 200 beds
had been reserved in thi Sloane maternity
hospital, New York City, for Red Cross
nurses who were returning from France and
expecting immediate confinement."
The grand jury reported that a thorough
inquiry proved that there was not an iota of
truth in this statement and that the woman
who made It now' admits that she was mis
informed. She was exonerated of any dis
loyal intention, but the grand jury felt im
pelled to say in the way of general comment,
"that it deplores the tendency shown by the
public in general to give ready ear to and
repeat stories and reports of a sensational
and scandalous nature and character affect
ing the Red Cross and its nurses, for the
reason that such stories and reports not only
seriously interfere with the recruiting of
nurses for service abroad, but also have a
tendency to create public distrust in the
American Red Cross, and are detrimental to
the army activities it is carrying on to alle
viate the unspeakable condition due to the
war."
Judge ' Hand went further and charged
the grand jury to summon persons circu
lating such rumors, innocently or otherwise,
and to indict persons who start such rumors
or who willfully circulate them, He de
nounced such stories as part of the "whisper
ing pro-German propaganda," and declared
that their willful circulation constituted a
violation of the espionage act. The warning
to both the credulous and the malevolent is
timely. Only part of "these stories may be
Of pro-German origin, but all of them aid
the enemy, to some extent. There is no ex
cuse for their acceptance or circulation, for
if they were true they would . have been
treated by the papers. No thoughtful loyal
person will give them credence or pass them
on and some way should be found to check
the irresponsible or disloyal.
f hy Nobody is Laughing Now
A visiting evangelist says people do not
laugh now at "what the Bible has to say
about the fture of the world," since "their
confidence in the processes of civilization has
been shattered." Even the most literal be-'
lievers in verbal inspiration have not been
able to twist all the ancient millennial im
agery in the Scriptures into a self-consistent
whole, even after exalting their own "spirit
ual insight" in matters of interpretation
above the ripest and most reverent scholar
ship of the world, nor can they fit its most
salient features to present conditions less
fantastically than they were fitted to the
time of the crusades, to the Islam movement,
to the reformation, to the Napoleonic wars
and to dozens of other crises in the last 1900
years. The world laughed at the Irvingites,
the Plymouth brethren, the Millerites,' the
Anabaptists and the many individuals who
picked out new Jerusalem, identified them
selves as the "witnesses" of the Apocalypse,
named the beast, and set a multitude of
different dates for the end of wordly things.
But nobody is laughing now; everybody
is too busy trying to improve the "processes
of civilization." Just now all the people of
the world who recognize their responsibility
to God and mankind are bending every
thought and energy toward establishing civil
ization on a better basis. Everlastingly whip
ping Germany and the "monstrous thing"
which inspires Germany now, is the first
duty. No red-blooded men or women are sit
ting idlyiby, dreaming of being taken up in
the "rapture" while there are such unprece
dented calls to service, and sacrifice. Never
was there such a general spirit of self-sacrifice
since the morning stars first sang -together.
Never , were .there greater plans for
the future, for the establishment of justice
among nations and among individuals, for
the spread of enlightenment, for the relief of
distress, for the promotion of physical and
moral health, "and for telling every human
creature the "good news" proclaimed by the
angrelic choir to Judean shepherds. St. Louis
Globe-Democrat. v ."
Ireland and Conscription
London Chronicle, April 20.
Mischiefs created by the linking together
of home rule and conscription for Ireland
have not yet been repaired, despite the prime
minister's powerful elucidatory speech. Mr.
Lloyd George made it plain that, as Sir Ed
ward Carson expressed it, "no recruits in
Ireland are to be conscripted until a home
rule bill is passed by this government."
The Nation writes with somber gravity on
Irish conscription as though the menace of
it remained; and Ireland itself, with unex
ampled unity, is preparing, with the benedic
tion of the Catholic bishops, to withstand a
danger that has already been removed. Plain
dealing would have got rid of ambiguity and
misconceptions, but politicians love equivo
cation, especially when they belong to a
coalition government.
We believe it to be as demonstrable as
a problem in Euclid that conscription will
not be attempted in Ireland until home rule is
an accomplished fact. More than that, there
is a high degree of probability that, once an
Irish parliament is in being, the imperial
government will not use the powers con
ferred upon it by clause 2 of the new military
service act, but leave it to that body to raise
men for the army in what proportion and
by what method it pleases. Any other course
would ruin the prospects of self-government
in Ireland at its very beginning. Both jus
tice and expediency counsel us ,to trust in
this matter to an Irish parliament. Irislu
men will do voluntarily, at the invitation of
their own leaders, what they would sullenly
refuse at the dictation of an external body
whose moral authority they repudiate.
It may be said that our argument ignores
the posibility of theMoss of the house rule
bill and a change of government here. Our
reply is that, after Mr. Lloyd George's
speech, with. its significant references to la
bor in this country, to American opinion and
to the ailed allegiance to the principle of
self-determination, no British government,
whatever its political, complexion, will at
tempt to enforce conscription in Ireland
against the will of the Irish people. - There
are some things that can't be done. '
I lOHAV I
One Year Ago Today In the War.
London reported British in posaes
r io of 19 miles or Hindenburg line on
Arras front. - '
Lloyd George offered Ireland home
rule on its own terms if Irish conven
tion could agree on plan. -
rhe Day We Celebrate.
George A Wilcox, secretary and
treasurer of the Omaha Stove Repair
Works, born 185s.
Augustus O. Stanley, governor of
' Kentucky, born at Shelbyville, Ky.,
. 5-1 years ago. . -v .; ,
Thomas Ewing, former commis
sioner of patents, born at Leaven
, worth, Kan.. SI years ago.
' Dr. Edmund J. James, president of
me university or Illinois, born at
,. ladksonville. 111., tt vmi poti.
This Day In History. ;
m wasningion ana Kocnara
fceau conferred at Wethersfleld, Conn.
1852 The Michigan Central rail-
( , road was opened from Detroit to Chi-
U71 French government troops
wrested possession of Paris from the
communists.
wdt-rne .Roumanian senate a p.
proved declaration of Independence
ana aecuu-ea war with Turkey. ?
1101 President Roosevelt assisted
at the laying of the cornerstone of a
-ioatunent to Lewis and Clarke at
rt:ana, ore,
J us! 80 Years Ago Today
J. A. Munroe, general freight agent
of the Union Pacini, accompanied by
his wife, left New York for Liverpool.
"Mr.- Seeley, manager of the Omaha
base ball team, left for Chicago to ob-
-:! -' ' i.
tain a few more players for the home
team. , i -
An excursion of 175 from California
eastward passed through Omaha on
the B. & M.
From " the present outlook the
demonstration for the observance of
Memorial day will be the grandest
ever given in Omaha. .
A Joint committee of the Omaha
Republican club and the state central
committee held a meeting at the Mil
lard and appointed Wall Seeley
Frank Hanlan and D. H. Wheeler as
a committee to go to Chicaao to ar
range for the Nebraska headquarters
ib mat city during the national con
yentloa,
Aimed at Omaha
Kearney Hub: This headline indi
cates how badly The Bee is cut up
over the result of the recent Omaha
electlont , "A good Job the court
house next"
Tekamah Herald: The recent vote
ln Omaha on taking over the gas
plant showed 5 to 1 in favor of mu
nicipal ownership: there were 19 000
votes polled on the proposition and
only 4,000 against. That was a hard
slam on ex-Governor Morehead, who
vetoed a law to give Omaha munici
pal electric light
Kearney Hub: The last class in
German in the Omaha public schools
will be discontinued at the close of
the present school year, except In
Central High school, where work may
be continued for two years to finish
courses. No new classes are being
started and there is no demand for
the language on the part of pupils.
Young America has its hunch and is
exemplifying the Idea of "America
over all." -
Albion News: Omaha is making i i
exceptional record in its bank clear
ings, and last week it was the tenth
city in the United States in the vol
ume of its clearings. One year ago
Omaha waa in fourteenth place and
two years ago In sixteenth paace. No
city in the country is climbing more
rapidly In business as represented by
bank clearings than is Omaha. In
this connection all of the Missouri
valley cities are making new records
in volume of clearings and Lincoln is
three places higher in the list than it
was on year ago, -
i - . v- . - . i
" Peppery Points
Minneapolis Journal: The United
fttates government is calling on every
state to raise its quota of sheep. Be
a Mary, and have a little lamb tag
you about. . ' '
New York Herald: The presence
of half a million American soldiers in
lTance suggests that Germany was
right, and that the Lusitanla was, in
fact, loaded with high explosive.
Brooklyn Eagle: Bryan and An
derson seem to be in a row, each
claiming the allegiance of the Metho
dists to his own brand of prohibition.
Only the Methodists are silent and
their silence is surely tactical discre
tion. ' ,
Louisville Courier-Journal: Apro
pos of discussion in government cir
cles about raising the draft age to 40
it may be said that there .are many
Americans above the present draft
age who do not believe that the win
ning of the war should be left wholly
lo the boys. ,
Brooklyn Eagle: The arrest of
"Pastor" Russell's successor as a sedi
tionist , will not grieve Brooklyn
Heights. It's mighty hard to be
neighborly with visionaries, even if
they are wholly, innocent of disloy
alty. New York World: German gas
has been used on the battle front with
such ; profusion that it has drifted
back and caused illness In towns on
the Rhine. French papils in schools
have long had gas masks and drill
In their use. German cities may yet
regret that frightfulness ever had that
bright Idea, v.
; Twice Told Tales :
Josh Comes Back , '
One June day a city man went to
the country to see about securing
summer board with Uncle Josh, and,
arriving about dinner time, he was
invited to take a place at the table.
This he did, and afterward sauntered
out on the .veranda and lighted a
cigar. ' -
v"Let's get doVn to business, Mr.
Jones." said he., to the farmer. "1
want to say that I enjoyed that meal
very much." ; - - . :-
"Ye did, eh?" returned Uncle Josh,
gazing far over the green fields. .
"Yes," responded the city man,
"and if that is a fair sample of the
meals you serve I think we can easily
come to terms."
"Jes a minute," interposed Josh,
with a thoughtful expression. "Fust
of all, I would like to know if that
was a fair sample of your appetite."
Buffalo News.
First Requirement -
As a country physician was driving
through a village he saw a man
amusing a crowd with the antics of
his trick dog.' The doctor pulled up
and said: -
"My dear man, how do you manage
to train your dog tike that? I can't
teach mine a single trick."
The man looke"d ud with a simple,
ruitic gaze and replied: v ;
"Well, you see. it's this way. You
have to know mo'n the dog or vou
can't learn him nothin'." London
Ilt-Bita,
line Up the City Autos.
Omaha, May 20. To the Editor of
The Bee: It has been suggested, be
cause of the recent apprehension of
a city automobile at Plattsinouth
loaded with booze, that the city offi
cials secure a vacant spot somewhere
near the center of the city and
thereon congregate all th automo
biles and trucks of whatever kind and
hold a public exhibition, or parade, so
that the taxpayers of Omaha may
gain a first-hand Idea of what the
city possesses in that line.
I believe the taxpayers would take
more interest in city affairs if exhibits
of this kind were held periodically of
all city property that can be handled
that way. - SOUTH SIDE.
Opposes German Language.
Grand Island, Neb., May 18.r-To
the Editor of The Bee: The letter en
titled, "Study of Foreign Langauges,"
signed "A. Layman," comes altogether
Joo soon and is entirely too hasty. If
the war was over and settled and the
"hatred" mentioned existing there
might ber some reason for such an
epistl; as it is, the" letter is a meddle
some briar. The author of the article
mentions wrong that does not exist.
Our opposition to the Germafc lan
guage is -for present war purposes,
and to be effective our opposition must
be strong.
He touches on German, French and
Spanish and says nothing about the
other 19 languages spoken in the
United States, showing a disposition
to take in a little of other languages
and keep German to the front, and
that in the midst of war. Whether
the kaiser would or would not bar
English and French doesn't matter;
our position is different There are
German settlers, German descendants
and German spies throughout the
United States, and through the agency
of the German language the kaiser
wields a weapon the like of which we
do not possess in Germany, and much
of its work is of a nature that we
would not employ.
"He' is in a big hurry to look after
the interests of the German language,
but infers that pro-Germans "sooner
or later will discover their errors;"
he seems to have no concern about
the time it may take to stop the kais
er's hellish work, much of it behind
the German language mask. Pro
Germans should be brought to a re
alization of their errors at once. "He"
writes in a way to picture Americans
as narrow-minded and speaks high
sounding praise of the qualities of the
masses of Germans and individual vir
tues of the German race, as though
they are a superior people endowed
with gifts and abilities that other na
tionalities do not possess. That is
exactly what German kultur has
taught and is one reason we want the
language abolished. If there are any
German-born people among us that
cannot speak English it is because
they have clung to German kultur and
have neglected to learn the language
of the country that gave them pros
perity and feeds and protects them.
To the loyal German-born Americans
it will be no hardship to give up the
foreign language the others are not
our friends.
We want people in general to get
used to speaking and thinking in the
lawful language of Amercia. While
the war lasts we should draw closer,
act more in harmony, learn to speak
and think alike as we work and fight
side by side. ,
There are wise and foolish, good and
bad in all races and nationalities. We
don't need.to worry about the future
of the German language or any other
language; we are busily employed
now with war-time necessities. There
will be a-plenty of time when the war
is over to look after the proper status
of foreign languages. There was
no occasion for "A Layman's" argu
ments and utteranceSi All 'in all, it
was a tangled vine that bore every in
dication of kaiserlsm camouflage, and
if it had not been dated, addressed
and signed would have sounded more
like having first been written and
published in Berlin than in Omaha.
; W. B.
CHERRY CHAFF.
"Here, you have pelleij Shakeapeare's
name four different ways in setting up
tbia article."
"Shakespeare spelled his name In several
ways," pointed out the Intelligent compos
itor. '
"Yes,' he was a rotten speller, but 1 ex
pect you to do better." Louisville Courier
Journal.
The Girl Did you observe the lovely
palms In the cafe?
The Man Tht only palms I saw were the
waiter's. Puck, v
can support her In the
she has been accus-
"I dunno If I
style to which
tomed.
."Why, you're earnlnir forty a week."
"By heck, so Is she." Louisville Courier
Journal. .
Sergeant I hear you are an expert horse
man T
Private Weil, I owned a racing stable
before I enlisted.
Sergeant You're just the man I'm looking
for; go over and shoo the. flies away from
the major's horse. Puck.
"I there Is anything In a came, that
fellow yonder ought to be called Ounn,"
"Why so?"
"Because he Is always either getting
loaded or getting fired." Boston American.
"The bookkeeper Is sick."
"Aw, he ain't sick. He Just wants to go
fishing."
"Yes, he Is sick. I told him he couldn't
get off." Philadelphia Bulletin.
llllllcent (watching trie parade go by)
Why do so many of the men wear spiral
puttees? "
Tom Hakes 'em march faster.
Mllllcent Makes them march faster?
Tom Yes: you see they're all wound up!
Cartoons Magazine. -
"Are you sure, Jack, that she's the right
kind of a girl? Has she the right Judg
ment?" ' -
"Why should you doubt her?"
"Well, she has selected you." Puck.
Bard Out.
"Can't I see the editor myself?"
demanded the spring poet.
"No." replied the militant office boy.
"You must remain in the bard sone."
New York Sun.
TO A ST3A2CAj.
O straw chapeau. when yoiT were neWj '
A crown of pristine beaTJty you," " -
Aa argent cloud of shlmmjiryg shec . ,
A itelly tit for -any bean, iii - -,
A nimbus on my raven fuis. f
A luscious Ud that's what yoil was, .
But now your glory's one with Greere
Your grandeur is of Rome's s piece; .
Your primal pulchritude has blewed
To Innocuous desuetude. ' '
In other words, O straw Caubeen,
You're on the frits that's what I mean
An evanescent charm you had;
Too brief a time you made me glad.
Like to the poet's popples spread,
I touched the bloom, the flower was dead .
A gem of snowy charm today,
Tomorrow just a piece t hay
O. adios, farewell to thee.
Goodby, good luck, and R. I. P.
Out yonder stands a sad-eyed cow
Who'll make a nifty meal of thou. "
And thou, a one-time snappy dud.
Will presto be a Juicy eud,
A common fate Is that, alas!
We die and fertilize the grass
On which In sweet contentment browsa
A multitude of grateful cows
Whlclr give us milk which once was w
And to ourselves, we drink us see?.
Straw, hat, goodby and R. I. PI
Cartoons' Magazine.
"Bear" In Mind
1
I if"
otl&Betf Bern5
When you are
tMrstyGERVA
givesthemost
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ItC-UIUCUU
And it is a
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drink at
all time
res?
Thiii. tin Cap
Official chemist employed
by the state of Missouri says:
"A wholesome product, free
from preservatives and yeast
cells and by reason of small
amount of fermentable sugars
presetat would say that no de
leterious effects would be pro
duced on processes of diges
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fact at all places where good
drinks are sold.
Forty United Profit
Snaring Coupons (2
coupons each
denomination, 20) are
packed in every case. '
Exchangeable for
valuable premiums.
LEMP
Manufacturers
ST. LOUIS
CERVA SALES CO.
H. A. STEINWENDER, Distributor
1517 Nicholas St. Doug. 3842. jtt
Omaha, Neb. . - r
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BOSTON, MASS.
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"I know somethin
thatdearyour
When my complexion was
red, rotyrh and pimply, I was so .
ashamed that 1 never had any J
fun. I imagined that people
avoided me perhaps they did!
But the regular use of Resinol
Soap with a little Resinol Oint
ment just at first has given me
back my dear, healthy skin. I
wish you'd try hi"
' 'i
, k VI fl SI J.r. ' I
" MBM1
Bdaol Ointment and Resiftol Soap alto clar 1 '
away daadruS and keep the rair hmlthy id . .'
attractive. For trial free, write to Dept. J-R,
Resinol, Baltimore, Md.
ft
V
K
n
t
