THE BEE: " OMAHA, SATURDAY, MAY 18, 1918.
14
The Omaha. Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY
. FOUNDED BT EDWARD BOSE WATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THB BEB PTJBUSHMQ COM PANT. PROPRIETOR,
- Entered at Omaha postoffie at second-class natter.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
R fWHM fit MalL
Del and ubo S V Pw I"' 5 12!
00 l.WI
Bnoiac and 8undj..
Etwlaa without Bundu
tut
cWMtlce ti&uce 'i' 'addfii; or'irriiularltr la dU?en la Omaha
M uueuittioa umnau
MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
(hi AMMlatMl Press, ot whtea, IbiBvUi awenbsr. It etnsiraW
S t or Jot aUMrwt- andiud la this paper, ana alto the local news
JUuMbnlii. AU Khu el publioaUoa at out epsslal dipstebe
an alt isesnsd. '-
REMITTANCE
f dra ,poUj-. On 1 and !----
IB 7n w i jwini . '
aa nan
dosha and
axehani. not acoetted,
OFFICES
toa Ooe-li H - New Tm-k-lM Fifth A
Swell Bloffa-H K. Mala SL ft I-KB CoauMrea.
Uacote Utile BalMlaa. Wsahhutoa-UU 0
CORRESPONDENCE
Mdrtai eeawmlesOoes nltUnt to a and allierlal sutler to
Oasaa Baa, KdHortal Department
APRIL CIRCULATION.
Daily 67,265 Sunday 57,777
Iterate abeulattoa toe lit nnnto. aubesribea. and awora to W DwUbl
Williams, Clreolatlao afaaiftr. .
Subscribers laavia tha elty ahauU bava Tba Be mailed
u there. Aodra aa cheat aa oltaaj aa requested.
THE BEE'S SERVICE FLAG
"Brother Charley" evidently know, what is
wrong at Lincoln.
That sound you hear from Nebraska these days
is the click of the corn planters.
- Things must be looking up for the hyphen
ated senator, as he has been able to land a re
tainer in job.
If George Creel could only get his second
thoughts out ahead of his first he would have
lots less to apologize for and perhaps regret.
The charter convention has recognized the
vote of the high man as entitling him to be made
president of this body. On that theory, Dan But
ler would be mayor.
Berlin will please take note that new Ameri
can troops are daily being added to the line in
Picardy and Flanders. The Yankee boys are
there for business, too.
The minority of the senate committee on ex
penditure! it right this time. What the people
want it a careful inquiry into specific charges and
sot dragnet hullabaloo.'
Canned jack rabbit will decorate the soldier's
bill of fare abroad, and thus keep him ever re
minded of the home he left Thus does a careful
government look after its defenders.
' War is offered and accepted as the excuse for
most of our governmental shortcomings. Our
postal service, however, was all shot to pieces be
fore a shot was fired in the war zone. ,
Beginning tomorrow, Harry Lauder will tell,
his experience in the war zone from day to day
in The Bee. Be sure to start out with him and
you won't willingly miss a single chapter. .
One of the flashes on "Jimmy" Gerard's movie
screen makes the kaiser say: "Bernstorff has suc
cessfully spent, $50,000,000 for our cause in the
United States." Won't someone tell us 'how much
of that was placed in Omaha?
"To H-J With the Kaiser.
When Charles M. Schwab visited the ship
yards at Philadelphia he took occasion to mingle
with the men on the work, and later addressed
a mass meeting of the workers, leaving with them
this slogan: "Whenever you hit a rivet say, 'To
h 1 with the kaiser!'" This will have an echo in
every honest worker's heart. It wilt be heard .in
the cornfields of Nebraska as well as in the ship
yards on the Delaware. The worker in the fac
tory, and the toiler in the field will echo it in
unisoiv for they are all engaged on the great
job of winning the war. The will to win has
been thoroughly aroused in the United States, and
the feat of creating the Tuckahoethe 5,000-ton
steel ship that went to sea with a. cargo in 35
days after its keel was 'laid is just -one of the
wonders Americans will accomplish to carry out
their contract with the world. "To h 1 with the
kaiser I" is inelegant,, perhaps, and lacks element
ary charity and Christianity, but it fairly repre
sents the sentiments of Americans, and will stand
well as a slogan until the hopes of the Pots
jam gang are finally and completely wrecked.
BROTHER CHARLIE'S PLAINT.
The reason for the manifesto issued by
"Brother Charlie" Bryan, and the jreason for put
ting it out at this particular time, may invite
speculation, but the fact that it is the severest
kind of an arraignment of Governor Neville and
his democratic associates in the state house under
guise of being a program for help-win-the-war
legislation stands out sharp and clear.
The revamping of "Brother William's"
grievance against Governor Neville for not includ
ing ratification for national prohibitionin the re
cent special session proclamation and for blocking
the effort to put it over in spite of the omission
will evoke difference of opinion. The more in
cisive indictment of Nebraska's democratic state
administration is contained in the list of pro
posals enumerated in the Bryan program which
would not be called for if authority given by
existing laws were vigorously and honestly ex
ercised. If, as it is intimated, liquor interests are still
thwarting the .will of the people in Nebraska,
who can be responsible but the law-enforcing
officers backed by that unstinted appropriation of
the last legislature?
Enforcement of state laws against monopolies
and restraint of trade and enactment of new legis
lation to prevent profiteering is demanded,' but
what good will new laws be if no better enforced
than our present ample laws against monopolies
in restraint of trade?
The fire insurance companies are charged
with collecting from the people of Nebraska, this
year, $748,000 more than last year, with no effort
to prevent this extortion. Where has our state
insurance board beena board wholly the crea
ture of the democratic government.
If grain growers in Nebraska need protection
in the shipping and marketing and grading of
their product, why have they not had it from
state officers who already have authority to pro
tect them?
Another item demands enforcement of the
law regulating the hours of labor of men, wom
en and children. If these laws are not k en
forced, it is because of the willful blindness of
the governor's appointees.
So on, almost down the whole list, with the
exception of the laws relating to activities of
cities and towns which under the home rule
scheme will no longer devolve on the legislature.
But the question is unavoidable: How can the
past and present state officers and legislatures,
most of them democrats, escape responsibility for
what "Brother Charlie" complains of?
How to Stop Fee-Grabbing.
No serious difficulty stands in the way of stop
ping that rank fee graft in the health commis
sioner's office. Congress shows exactly how it
can be done when it makes the appropriation for
the three commissioners who manage the city" of
Washington, one of whom must by law be an
army engineer drawing army pay. The item in
the appropriation reads as follows:
General expenses, executive office: Two com
. missioners at $3,000 each; engineer commis
sioner, so much as may be necessary to make
salary $5,000.
It can be done right here in Omaha by the
simple twist of the wrist in exactly the same way
and effectually end fee-grabbing.
' Regulation Needed at the Mines.
One function of the United States fuel admin
istration appears to have been overlooked in the
general effort to adjust relations between pro
ducer and consumer. While it is good policy to
stress the importance of laying in an ample sup
ply of fuel during the summer months, that win
ter requirements may be anticipated as far as pos
sible, this should not be pushed to the extent of
neglect of other factors in the general problem.
One of these is production.
Just now the local administrator tells the pub
lic that certain of the mines have practically sus
pended production because no demand is appar
ent for the least desirable portion of their prod
ucts. Arkansas mines, it is stated, have practical
ly shut down because of the accumulation of
slack, for which no market exists at this time. It
is also set out that 50 per cent of the "mine run"
coal at these mines is slack. If this be true, the
methods of production should Ee carefully looked
into. When, half the output of a coal mine falls
into the slack pile, something is wrong. In this
connection, it may serve to recall the charge made
by the railroads a few weeks ago that last winter
50,000,000 tons of slate, stone and other noncom
bustible refuse from coal mines were shipped and
sold as fuel.
This needs close inquiry. Just before the.fuel
administration took charge of the mines, coal
was not only carefuly screened and sorted, but was
washed, and consumers we're guaranteed the qual
ity of the fuel they purchased. Why this care
should be abandoned in face of emergency and
wasteful practices be permitted is not plain to
the man who has to pay for the stuff that does not
burn.
r Mr. nearst s accusation against Colonel Roose
velt that the colonel is seeking a return to power
might have greater weight if it were not known
that its maker hopes to go through the governor's
chair at Albany to that of the president at Washington.
Coming Boost in Railroad Rates
Prospects of Turning a Deficit Into a Surplus
New York Financial World.
On the basis of the tremendous shrinkage
shown by the railroads of the country in the
first three months of 1918 the United States
will find itself a loser by the efid of 1918 of
several millions of dollars as the result of the
enforced taking over of the railroads for the
period of the war. It is no wonder, there
fore, that a leading banker who had something
to do with turning over the railroads to the
protecting care of the government exclaimed
a few days ago: "It is a good thing the gov
ernment took the railroads when it did; other
wise we would now be in the throes of a
large sized panic in securities." In other
words, the situation had got beyond the
bankers and the railroads, but there can be
no panic while Uncle Sam holds the bag, and
it is pretty certain that Uncle Sam isn't go
ing to shoulder all the burden without using
his influence to correct the income account.
Now the government has influence which
if knows how to use and it is pretty certain
it will exercise it when it finds that the pres
ent railroad rates, which came so nearly ruin
ing the railroads, are inadequate to support
fhem. It will see to it that the rates are re
vived and it will the more quickly obtain pub
lic support for the increase when it is an
nounced that a substantial part of the in
crease is for the purpose of giving a wage
'advance that will cost $300,000,000 more an
nually. It is believed, however, that if the
rate advance granted the New Haven recent
ly, and which will mean about $4,000,000
additional revenue perannum to that road, is
given to other lines in the same ratio, the
additional revenue will be $650,000,000 to
$700,000,000 annually, and, offset by the wage
increase, a net additional revenue of $350,
000,000 to $400,000,000, which can be utilized
for the rehabilitation of the railroads, pay for
new equipment and maintain them as efficient
agencies for the successful prosecution of
the war.
The government wants first to make the
railroads do what it wants them to do, no
matter what the cost, but it mirooses to make
them pay their way, if possible, and not leave
the way open tor congressional criticism and
attack. There are plenty of politicians in
congress who would only, be too glad to be
able to charge that the democratic administra
tion has been loaded with a burden that will
mean big losses to the public, which has to
foot the bill. A freight rate advance of 25
per cent would not mean more than 3 per cent
additional expense in the living accounts of
the people and no protest is likely to develop.
If, therefore, railroad shareholder wake up
some morning and hear about a big general
rate advance, affecting all passenger fares
and freight rates, they need not be surprised
but realize that it is only a government job
made necessary by war conditions. Such an
advance will mean more to security holders
than they have had in years and it may re
habilitate railroad security holders once more
in public speculative and investment favor.
March net operating earnings for 34 large
roads were ?j5,U(JU,0W, against an actual qper
ating deficjt of more than $4,000,000 for Feb
ruary ana January, Dut witn tne wage in
creases referred to coming and an increase
in the fuel bill amounting to $60,000,000, a
substantial dehcit is certain for the year un
less rates are advanced. The $35,000,000
net operating revenue for March will be ab
sorbed by interest charges and dividends,
leaving nothing for emergencies, extensions
or improvements.
Madmen Do Not Run Us
Absolutism and Lunacy a Prussian Affliction
Minneapolis Journal.
The kaiser has hallucinations, it is re
ported. He has always had them. His staff
are worried. They would better have been
worried years ago. His father, the Emperor
Frederick, was worried. The first chancellor
was worried. But for all the work he has
evoked, such was the constitution of the Ger
man confederation and such the prerogatives
of the king of Prussia that William didn't
need to mind. He was not required to be
sane, to be everything that ordinary men are,
to be prudential even as limited monarchs
must be. He could do any crazy thing he
liked, and all his lire he has been doing just
that. Such is the peculiar virtue of the Ger
man system, concurred in by 70,000,000 Ger
mans, but at last become intolerable to the
rest of mankind.
Absolutism has been In the grasp of mad
men before this. That is the unique privi
lege of absolutism, to confide th welfare of
millions and the destines of nations to morons
and paranoiacs. Wasn't the Czar Paul who
saved Frederick the Great from ruin a luna
tic? What was King Charles, who was
crowned by Joan of Arc and who forsook his
deliverer, but a half-wit? Didn't De Quincy
write about the 12 mad Cesars and come near
to proving his case? The madness of the
patrician and imperial family of Claudius ran
through generations of Roman history and
colored it.
This kaiser, he . of the shriveled arm and
aching ear, has been an able paranoiac all
' Thank God for Lloyd George '
The British premier has once more proved
not only that he is personally the right man
in the right jjlace, but that the British gov
ernmental and war-winning machine is in
excellent running order, with party politics
for the time left outside the works, Mr.
Lloyd George met the sore-headed attack
of General Maurice and Mr. Asquith in a
characteristically vigorous . and personal
manner and with his traditional success. He
is enough of a student of history, and pos
sesses enough of the true instinct of a leader,
to be aware that personality counts for much
in the meeting of such a crisis as that which
the free countries of the world are all fac
ing now. Putting the war and its imperi
ous necessities ahead of everything else in
his speech before the House of Commons, he
nevertheless dramatized the situation, with
himself as chief actor for the .time being. He
gathered the spear-heads of the opposition
to his own breast. He called on the house
to judge once and forever between him and
Mr. Asquith. - Asquith "was responsible for
the war for two years," he said, "and if this
motion is carried he will be responsible for
it again." Did the house or the country
want that? And the answer came definitely,
like a clarion, in the applauded shout of a
labor member, "Get on with the war!" That
is the answer; that is the manifest and one
desire of the British people, as it is the
desire of the American people; and it is Lloyd
George who pre-eminently embodies the de
sire, remaining not only the "pillar of a peo
ple's hopes," but the pillar of the hope of
the democratic world.
Americans, who are loyally supporting
the centralized control which has now been
evolved, who have put their soldiers under
General Foch's orders, and their ships in
the hands of the British naval commanders,
will be thankful, indeed, that there is no
longer any wrangling as to whether this
force shall be here and that force there, no
longer any pulling and hauling and hanging
back, no longer any Mauriceism and As
quithism, but that the win-the-war party is
definitely, and, let us hope, once for all in
the saddle in England. For after this test
it is fair to assume that in England at least
there will not again be a question of gov
ernmental change. Lloyd George is where
he is to stay, and he is there by virtue not
alone of the disposition of the British na
tion to stand steadily to its guns, but also
by virtue of the personal power ancf deter
mined purpose of the British prime minister.
Thank God for Lloyd George! Boston
Transcript.
his life, nursing the delusion of greatness,
convinced of his mission under God, a fana
tic as rabid in his way as was Philip II of
Spain, as crafty and bloodthirsty as was Mo
hammed of Mecca, and as meddlesome and
vain as was Claudius Nero, emperor, poet,
artist and clown..
A republic has the privilege of electing
whom it pleases. Sometimes a republic will
choose a mediocrity, but that is about the ex
tent of its folly. It doesn't exalt madmen and
then swear they are inspired of God. It
isn't such a fool.
Oh, we have heard democracy sneered at
since this war began, and some faint-hearted
ones have experienced, grave doubts of the
ability of democracy fo survive in a world
such as this. But, believe us, the possibili
ties of error open to a republic such as ours
are zero compared to what a Prussia can do
and has done. Take our line of presidents
from Washington down. There isn't a dy
nasty of monarchs that can stack up with
tnem.
tees
Clean the Court House.
- Omaha, May 15. To the Editor of
The Bee: Your advice to the voters
to complete the political house clean
ing by applying the elimination proc
ess to the Douglas county court
house inhabitants is worthy of careful
consideration, and should not be
lightly cast aside.
To my way of thinking the greatest
mistake of the public, politically
speaking, is to indefinitely keep a
Certain bunch of politicians in office
after their first term, usually, they
consider themselves owners of, the
Jobs and the public gets cant 1 con
sideration. As a taxpayer, for Instance, I have
visited the court house periodically
and if my experience is that of others,
the public certainly receives shabby
treatment from the "servants. -
Anyhow, although I have been lib
eral in the past in voting for them,
I have about come to the conclusion
that you can't expect much from a
democrat in public office other than
recklessness with public funds and
inventing new jobs for the faithful.
- SOUTH SIDE.
Witnesses Against Autocracy
With all junkerdum is a rage over the dis
closures of Prince Lichnowsky. who was Ger
man ambassador in London at the oubtreak
of the war, in which the guilt of the military
party m isernn is tuny exposed, Maximilian
Harden now adds to the uproar by printing in
his esteemed Zukunft what autocracy can
hardly ignore.
"I swear," he says of the Prussian Diet,
"that there are dorens of men sitting there
in these dark war hours who have written
and said similar things in sharper and more
bitter words," and he asks if they would
meet the tame fate as Lichnowsky if their
papers were stolen and exposed in Berlin
shop windows.
Prince Lichnowsky. who was on the soot.
representing Germany, corroborates every
thing that Sir Edward Grey, then British for
eign secretary, has said as to Germany's de
termination to bring on the war and Great
Britain's efforts to avert it. If, as Herr
Harden writes, there are dozens of members
ot the .Prussian Diet who are as well in
formed as Lichnowsky. and who have -i
vately written and spoken in the same strain,
the proposed prosecution of the orince mav
one of these days be abandoned in behalf
ot an indictment of persons higher up, with
these dozens along with Lichnowsky and
Harden, as the accusers. New York World.
People and Events
A bunch nf MJssniir! hnnafora nl-itinaf tn
carry a message of patriotism to Washington
nil o Am (i-n'n th. 'T A....U.. c :i
General Manager McAdoo ditched the
scheme ere the train was made up, and infer
entially told the boosters to send the mes
sage by mail and invest the money in war
oonas. Business oetore pleasure.
PrOSOect.4 briirhtpn fnr Ptirliner 9 crle.'a ,'n
footwear, within a week or so. The National
Association ot lanners are getting together
On the GU'eStion of the tlpicrht nA rnlnr
madame s boots, with chances in favor of
subduing the bright colors which now dazzle
gaping eyes. Aiost tanners are elders any
way, and naturally averse to window dress
ing at the foot.
The post bakery at Fort Douglas, Utah,
scores a victory over tne sunset gun. The
nearness of the gun when in action jarred
the sensibilities of the dough, causing it to
sag in the middle and sideways, preventing a
proper frontal elevation on emerging from
the ovens. The sun had tn on tn th rmrt.
ful distance and the staff of life now swells
m comparative peace. ,
The outcome of the fight against higher
street car fares in Kansas rit m, t;u.u,
to be women conductors and motor oper
ators, xnt president ot the company indi
cated as much at the hearing' now on before
the State Utilities
- : vv.m.iuujiuuj m isvujr
liar to the Nebraska Railroad commission.
As tne company views the situation the
issue is higher' fares with men employes,
present fares and women.
One Year Ago Today In the War.
President Wilson signed the selec
tive conscription bill.
Colonel Roosevelt's proposal to
raise a volunteer army was rejected.
Premier Borden announced Cana
dian government planned for con
scription of 80,000 to 100,000 men.
n Day-Vfe Celebrate.
Edward F. Schurlg, president of the
f'andard Electrical company, born
m$.
Nicholas Romanoff. ' lata emperor
sf Russia, born in Bt. Petersburg, 60
rears ago.
Joseph us Daniels, secretary of the
fttvy, born in Washington, V. C, St
yews ago.
J. Hamilton Lewis, United ' States
rnator from Illinois, born in Dan
r,, Va., 62 years ago.
T.L Rev. Boyd Vincent, Episcopal
t" hop of southern Ohio, born at
L-le, Pa-, 1 1 years ago.
V.l$ XSmj la History.
1111 President James Madison
'i renominated by the democratic-
f rub! lean party under promise of a
t f'vatlon of war with England.
- IMS Sir Charles Bagot, Oovernor
,7 "5ral of British North America,
1 it Kingston, Canada. Born
mber J8. 1781.
-Grant began the siege of
3barg, following the retirement of
confederate within their fortifl
.. .: ' ... .... -
Just 80 Years Ago Today
O. W. Ketcham, John Petty and
Billy Townsend are attending a shoot
ing tourney at Ashland.
The City Steam laundry of Omaha
Is about to build a branch office on
Twenty-seventh street, Just north of
the new hotel
Prof. Shunke's band of 18 profes
sional musicians will give a grand
concert at Mets summer garden and
hall this evening.
Mr. M. T. Donovan, a noted mining
expert, was united In wedlock to Miss
Mamie Fink of Cheyenne, Wyo.
Miss Alice Parker, daughter of Dr.
Parker, who spent the winter in
southern California, returned quite
restored to health. v
E. O. Orube, who has been elected
delegate by the Omaha Turners to the
National convention ot that associa
tion which assembles In Chicago on
ivuaar next, leu xor mat
"Over There and Here"
Germantown, Pa., Is trying to
change Its name to Woodrow. Bis
marck, N. Vrr, is also aweary of Its
Germanic appellation.
"Sturmpanserkraftwagenl" Can you
vocalise It without dislocating the
jaw? It's German for war tank. No
wonder the junker pattern broke down
under the lingual load.
Since the beginning ot the war the
London Times has collected more than
10.000,000 for the British Red Cross
society and the Order of St John,
joint workers In war relief. The huge
total evidencod the power of the Times'
pull. And the good work goes stead
ily on.
In a manifesto foreshadowing bank
ruptcy for Germany unless Indemni
ties are' Lad, the Industrial Union ot
Saxony says th war has added 83,
700,000,000 to the empire's annual
peace expenditures of $1,200,000,000.
It remarks this total will absorb CO
per cent of the whole national income.'
"Such a burden," it adds, "would par
alyse production and all spirit of en.
terprlse'and ruin our life." Fright
fulness comes home to roost
Britain is steadily restrictly the out
put of beer, this year's total being cut
to 13,590 standard barrels, which in
cludes the army supply. There are
80.000 "licensed public houses" or sa
loons In the country and only enough
beer to keep them going 20 hours a
week. A writer in the London Chron
icle urges Immediate closing of 80,000
saloons, which would release, at least,
100,000 persons for some useful war
service
Editorial Shrapnel
Minneapolis Journal: If the truth
were known, the Dutch have about as
much use for the Germans as the cat
has for the vacuum cleaner.
Washington Post: Prospects "of
sheep feeding on the White House
lawn are enough to tempt William
Jennings down for a peek through
the railings. t
Minneapolis Journal: No one will
breath quite easily 'till the millionth
man has landed in France and the
first on the second million is leaving
an Atlantio port
Baltimore American: Their war
work has made women equal to men,
says Roosevelt. In many instances
Individual comparison will put them
far superior to numerous men, who
have done little or nothing.
Louisville Courier-Journal: Eddie
Rlckenbacher wr.j among the flrrt
American aviators to bring down a
German plane. Rlckenbacher is the
"American of Cerman extraction"
who makes the kaiser sick, and there
are enough of the kind to make the
kaiser a good deal sicker before the
war ends. ,
Brooklyn Eagle: The greatest
churchman of the war by the com
mon conrent of mankind is Cardinal
Mercier, archbishop of Mallnea
Again he hurls the eternal truth in
the teeth of the kaiser and again and
again he will send his shots home.
Not in all of Germany can an in
ventor be found to make a gun of
longer range or more deadly effect
than the simple words from the lips
of this brave and learned man,
Twice Told Tales
Telling the Truth.
A lawyer was examining a Scottish
farmer. "You'll affirm that when
this happened you were going home
to a meal. Let us be quite certain
on this point, because it Is a very Im
portant one. Be good enough to tell
me, sir, with as little prevarication
as possible, what meal It was you
were going home to."
"You would like to know what meal
It was?" said the Scotsman.
"Yes, sir; I should like to know,"
replied the counsel, sternly and Im
pressively. "Be sure you tell me the
truth."
"Well, then, it was Just oatmeal."
Rochester Times.
For the Land's Sake.
Two Tommies went into a restau-
MTlt AVOf nn 4ha asatAan amt- anrl
..... via aiao .caoici It livui ckuu
said to the waiter, "We want Turkey
wun vireece.
The waiter replied, "Sorry, sirs, but
we can't Servia."
"Well, then, get the Bosphorus."
The boss came in and heard their
nrriar nnH than h(h "T WAnt tn
Russia, but you can't Roumanla."
ou ma two Tommies went away
Hungary. Commerce and Finance.
Getting On.
"Pa, I heard four new French
words today."
"Did you, my son? What were
heyt"
"'Grenade, village, envelope and
locomotive."'
, "And what are they in French?"
"The same." Boston Trans cxiDt
Bombardment of London.
Des Moines, la., May 16. To the
Editor The Bee: How the Huns would
like to destroy London? Ever since
the war began they have baen send
ing fleets of Zeppelins and other air
craft over the channel to drop bombs
on the British capital. All they have
succeeded In doing is to kill a few
score of women and children' and ex
cite the indignation "of the English
soldiers to such a point that when
the tide turns on the western front
many Hun cities may be razed to the
ground. The allies could not be
blamed II they made a howling wilder
ness out of the whole of kaiserland..
What actually will happen in this re
spect remains to be seen. The Ger
mans are still bent on destroying Lon
don and Lieutenant General Von
Rhone, an expert on ordnance, is
authority for the statement that the
DomDarament ot Fans is merely in the
nature of a trial for guns, which are
really intended to bombard the great
English metropolis. As the great can
non have become more or less of a
Joke to the citizens of "Gay Paree," it
is not to De expected that the Lon
doners are wildly excited or alarmed
over the prospect. In any event, the
uuns win nave "some" fighting to
do before they get within 76 miles of
the object of their envy and hatred.
i J. A. LOGUE.
CHEERY CHAFF.
A woman left a baby in lta carrlasa in
front of a depattment atore. A police
man found It there and believing It was
abandoned he wheeled It to the station
near by. Aa he passed down the street, a
gamin yelled: "What's de kid done, offi
cer?" Boston Transcript.
"I am afraid that your son is a follower
of Bacchus," said the preacher who was
calling on old Gotrox.
A follower! Why, he caught ud with
that guy Bacchus and passed him years
ago." Milwaukee Sentinel.
"Birds of a feather flock together."
"Don't you believe It. 1 went on a lark,
collected a number of bats, took a great
many swallows, and next day found myself
eating crow." Baltimore American.
'The welfare Workers of this town want
to know if you will play for the poorhouse."
"To be sure," answered Yorick Hamm.
"Playing to poor houses is my regular
game." Kansas City Journal.
"A boarding house keeper has no trouble
In marrying off her daughter."
"Huh?"
"Somebody Is bound to get behind with
his rent." Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Why the elaborate toilet, judge?" asked
his wife.
"There's to be something of a function
in court today. I'm to officiate at a fash
ionable divorce." Chicago Post.
Agnes A man Just went by In an auto
mobile. He looked at ma and said: "What
a beautiful woman."
Marie Heavens! He must have been go
ing fast. Boston Transofipt.
IF GOD INTENDS.
If -Qai intends that man should reel
Into the beast again success
Must greet the Teuton fire and steel! .
If God Intends that man's distress
Should go unanswered, all his tears
And blood go unrequited, then
A madman's lust shall scourge the years
To come for all the sons ot men.
IK God Intends that night should reign
Where once we had the light of day
Then Teuton fury, turned Insane,
Must win and grinning death hold sway.
Then what we once helJ dear must go
The way of things outworn, and all
We left behind so vile must know
A renaissance that will appall. 1
But If the good In man still gropes
For something better than before,
And If our dreams, desires and hopes
In spite of deaths still upward soar,
Because God wills that we be strong
Before the braggart hosts of sin.
Then darkness shall not try us long.
The beast must lose and right must win.
New York Times.
The irreproachable . character of the
funerals conducted by us is the public's
guarantee that everyone availing himself
of our sevrices will receive courteous, ex
perienced treatment We thoroughly un.
derstand the undertaking business. We
arrange funerals everywhere.
N.P.SWANSON
Funeral Parlor, ' (Established 1888)
17th and Cuming Sts. Tel. Douglas 1060.
Picture
Frames
I
New Patterns
Picture Molding
Prices to Suit Every Purse.
Mirrors in Period Frames.
Mirrors to Fit Any
Desired Space.
.ybK&'
' 1513 Douglas Street.
CENT! AIL.
Howard St., Between 15th and 16th.
Two Exceptional
Values
In Our Rug Dept.
36x60 Axminster Bugs
$3.75
27x54 Taney Rag Rugs
$1.50
Lace Curtains, each
25c, 35c, 45c
Odd Pairs From 25c Up
Curtain Stretcher
HUlUJJJ UL'UJlll!!1
t
95c
Near Illustration of
Hand Cultivator
This Has a Long Handle
39c
Gas Iron
Save Time and Labor by
Using This Iron
$1.95
Shirt Waist Box
FT"
Matting Cover
$3.00
Dress Up the Porch
Self-Draining, Length 29
Inches, Painted Green
95c
A Durable Clothes
Hamper
I
Ws0 I
This Round Hamper Basket
$1.25
A 16-in. Lawn Mower.. $3.95
A Splendid Heavy Broom 65c
An Invincible Carpet
Sweeper ,.?l-5
WE SAVE YOU MONEY-THERE AKE KASOKJ
When Writing to Our Advertisers
Mention Seeing it in The Bee