THE BE2: OMAHA; MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 1917.
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR
A THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PROPRIETOR
Entered at Omaha postoffie a second-class natter.
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CORRESPONDENCE
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AUGUST CIRCULATION
59,011 Daily Sunday, 51,912
Ararat circulation for tka moot tubeertbed and nrora la tr Dwljtl
Wlliiaaia, Clrcnlatloa Muater.
Subscribers laavlnc tha city ahould haa Tba Baa mailed
(a that. Addraaa chanted aa of tea aa roqueeted. .
Some folks do protest altogether too much for
their own good.
Germanic "Slush funds" outrank all other
sources of "easy money." -
. 'Insuring the lives of American soldiers lifts
the pension system from the mire of politics to a
business foundation.
? What's that? Politics and manipulation in the
award of military commissions in the Dandy
Seventh? Cut it out. !
' A pot of $28,000 for a Madison county, Ne
braska farm that originally cost $800 glimpses the
sure thing in fortune making. .
Whether or not Count von Bernstorff sug
ared itching palms with $50,000, the record fails to
how any return on the investment
I Come on now with your retail coat price, Mr.
Garfield, if you want to give relief to the small
householder before the coal man gets him. ,
Fuel Administrator Garfield's appeal to the
people to economize on coat finds prompt response
in the heat generated by unchanged price tags.
speaker of the New Though school asserts
that "Christianity had failed in the war." ' The
'ifatement clearly identifies the school of origin.
The tone of German editors indicate that "no
glowing obituaries will be sprung should Count
Luxburg be "ipurlas versenkt" on the way home.
Realism in the bloom of life bulks best In the
South Side Swine Show. Still the exhibit grunts
small beside the biped Swine Show staged in
Oklahoma.''';" vy'Vy ' ' i
Prussianism belted the world with mercenary
Intrigue and scored only in Bulgaria and Turkey.
Even this precious pair loves Prussianism only as
It provides the pelf. , 'fe ;
Douglas county will not be disgraced by ex
posing a 12-year-old lad to jury trial on a murder
charge. TheJBee's protest, reinforced by public
opinion, has stopped that. '',
Masculine jobs in most activities fall to
women in increasing numbers. More are coming
as the cgaps of war multiply. Mere man has, no
right to kick, but is privileged to sit up and take
notice.
Intensive lobster panning projected along the
New England coast collapsed with, painful sud
'denness. r Official assurances of a bumper crop of
beans soothed native fears and shunted substi
tute luxuries to the scrap heap. . '
' Latin' America discovers with shocking force
how shallow mere German professions of friend
ship Fortunately, both divisions of the' new
world realized none too soon the depth and
breadtrV of junker, conspiracies and now know how
to safeguard their future existence.
The biggest news item of the day for last Sat
urday morning's papers was the exposure of Ger
man plotting in this country under direction of
Ambassador Bernstorff. If there was a single
patriotic paper in the country that did not play
it up, we miss our guess oh, no, the senator'
Omaha hyphenated organ packed it away on an
obscure inside page.
j Appailing Qost of War
Thoinaa F. Logan In LesUe't
' Roughly speaking, the war has thus far cost the
allied nations $58,000,000,000. . The great bond bill
of congress will bring the total war expense for
the United States up to more than $19,000,000,000.
This includes certain departmental appropriations,
but the whole may be considered as applying to
war measures. The per capita tax of $190 upon
the population of the country involved-would seem
to answer the charge that congress has not been
actively engaged in legislation withih the last five
months. The amount for the United States for
the period ending June 30, 1918, exceeds that of
any foreign nation since the beginning of the war.
Within that period the public debt of Great Brit
ain has jumped from $3,443,799,000 to $21,897,
666,000, of which amount $5,800,000,000 has been
advanced to its allies and to British dominions.
When the war began the public debt of France
was $6,347,540,000 and by last April it had reached
$17727,013,000. The Russian debt in the January
preceding the war stood at $4,544,000,000, but had
risen by last January to about $13,000,000,000. In
the same period of time the national indebtedness
of Italy increased from $2,792,106,000 to $6,067,
600,000. War figures for Japan have not been
given out officially, but it may be Said that in a
very real tense that nation is better off than
when the war began. In startling contrast to
these enormous figures are the war costs to the
central empires. Within the three years ended
last January the Austrian debt advanced from
$2,559,546,000 to $8.978,065.000. , On September 30.
1916. trtst nuhlif rlrht nf Crrmanw u,-. 1? tCBfWI .
000. ' Prof. Jaffe has calculated that by the end of
imy or mis year xne oeDi ot.tne uerman empire
had reached 120,000,000,000 marks, or double the
1916 figures. Yet this, combined with the Aus
trian debt, ia far hrlnor thi S58 Om CMY! fWI
the allies. It is conceivable that the forty years
oi war preparation oy uermany nave something
tn An with the rnata. while thera haa a Ian
enforced economy along many lines of expendi
ture. In any event. America is still the great
spender, r It may allay apprehensions, however,
. to recall that the per capita debt imposed on the
nnrtW tv tftm r-tvii wq. tuae e.lj? aHil aha- alt a.
' represented 39 per cent of the total wealth. Today
a total war expenditure of $j5.000,000,000l would
oe oniy u per cent 01 ine present wcaun. u
i
Pot and Kettle.
If our two Omaha contemporaries have entered
into a competition as to which can best qualify
for the record of pandering to the kaiserites, we
fear a decision between them may be difficult. The
Junior Yellow declares that the outpourings of
the Hyphenated "sound like propaganda from the
kaiser's own press agents" and to this all who
have observed the W.-H.'s labored efforts "to
tickle the Germans" must agree.
But what about the accusing sheet whose
habitual policy puts it hand in glove with the I.
W. W., socialists and anarchists who would keep
our country, helpless and defenseless against a
foreign enemy? It is only a few months ago that
this same Junior Yellow editorially opposed the
selective conscription law and brazenly admon
ished working men not to enlist, using these
words: "We ought not to raise by conscription
a large army that may be used to put down strikes,
for example. Nor should compulsion be used to
raise an army to be sent over the seas."
Our two disloyalty-breeding local newspaper
contemporaries count on people having short
memories. Had either of them had its way, the
German conqueror would have quartered his
armies on us long ago.
, Cotton Mather as Camouflage.
Cotton Mather was something of a deciding
influence in his day, and yet is useful as a stalking
horse for those who have something to conceal,
or who wish to institute an invidious comparison
between the things of the present and those of
the past. Son of a famous Puritan, he not only
inherited his father's. peculiarities, but improved
on them in some ways. The provincial life of
Massachusetts Bay and Salem colonies did not
tend to broaden his mind, and he did a great
many things that appear unlovely when tested
by modern standards..
Withing the last few days a letter attributed
to him has been revived as evidence that he was
the first advocate of the doctrine of "spjirlos
veresenkt" In this letter, ' which first appeared
some twenty-five years ago, it is set out that Cot
ton Mather wanted the ship carrying William
Penn and his Quaker brethren to America sunk
without trace. Relations between the Quakers
and the Puritans were hardly what might be
called cordial, and each sect was ardently con
vinced of the correctness of its own views. More
over, William Penn suffered imprisonment in the
Tower for his, religious holdings, while Cotton
Mather's immediate forebears rode with Crom
well, singing psalms as they went to . battle
against the Cavaliers. It is not to be wondered
at that the stern men who had already made a
place for themselves and .their faith In America
should look askance at the coming of those who
would spread i heresy. (. ? v :
But, unfortunately for those who are now using
Cotton Mathef as camouflage for Von Luxburg,
historical dates are against them. Cotton Mather
was born In 1663 and William Penn set out to
found his colony in 1681, so the celebrated
preacher was but 18 years of age at the time, and
not capable of holding a high place in the coun
cils of the colony, the church, fit elsewhere in the
community. Even if he had written such a letter,
it would have been looked on as the vagary of a
boy, and not as serious advice to be followed.
Apologists for kaiserism will have to go farther
than American history to find a defense.
1 Missionary Work for Traveling Men.
Herbert Hoover has mapped out a line of activ
ity for the traveling grocery salesmen that will
fill any minutes they might have idle on their
hands in the coming months. They are to become
missioneri of the gospel of "something that is just
at good." In other words, it will be their part to
educate the American public to accept wholesome
substitutes foe high-priced or scarce food articles.
The traveling man will operate through the
grocer, whom he is to instruct in the gentle art of
persuading the housewife to buy things she has
overlooked in the past. Tempting displays of
com and beans, meat and such like provisions
will' be arranged, their merits extolled and in this
way a demand will be created for them. The idea
is a good one, and needs now but one, thing to
make it completely attractive. Mr. Hoover should
give us some assurance that as soon as 'we have
taken up with his program, the price on the sub
stitutes will not be shoved up to the notch held
by the foods we are trying to conserve.
I
Ship Builders Gain on U-Boats.
It is the belief of those best placed toy have
actual knowledge of the situation that the ship
builder is gaining on, the U-boat in the matter of
tonnage. . In despite of delay from - various
causes, ship yards of the world are turning out
vessels faster than they are being destroyed, and
thus the problem is solved in one of its elements.
On top of this, new yards are coming into active
operation now, especially in the United States,
where the plans of the shipping board are being
carried out Definite information : as to exact
number and size of vessels under construction is
not obtainable, but fragmentary reports from
various places show that many big freight car
riers are being hurried along to completion. On
both coasts the standardized vessel, made from
fabricated steel, is being turned out under govern
ment contracts, and will soon take the water lat
erally by dozens. Headwayis being made quite
as fast as designers had anticipated, and with the
possibility of the U-boat being checked by some
of the several devices now used against it, the
matter of ocean transport is made reasonably se
cure again. The race has been won by the builder.
Farm Prices and Millers' Profits.,
The Orange Judd Farmer, in an article ex
plaining reasons for farmers holding back wheat,
says much of it is due to the low grading given
the grain and that millers are taking advantage of
the grading rules to exact a double profit The
latter charge applies only to the "neighborhood"
mills of less capacity than 100 barrels a day arid
which are not under control. These objections
may satisfy the casual inquirer, but they do not
bear up under close examination. 3
The grading of wheat continues under the same
rules and by the same standards as before the
government took charge of the buying and the
price was fixed on a gra'de that has been acknowl
edged as basic for many years in the speculative
markets. " Therefore, the farmer is liable to no
loss in this direction he would not otherwise have
borne. The profits of the controlled mills is rig
idly fixed af 25 cents p4r barrel and this to be de
termined by consideration of all factors of manu
facturing cost, chie item of which is' the price paid
for the wheat. Smaller mills may conceivably
exact a higher profit,; but their operations neces
sarily will be limited and scarcely will become
burdensome. ' '
Under the constitution members of congress
enjoy a privilege from arrest, except for treason,
felony or breach of peace which probably ex
plains why some of them do things for which
other people would risk going to jal , ,
War and Health
Are We Fit to Fight?
By Frederic J. Haskin
Washington, Sept 15. This is certainly one
question raised by the war. Physical examina
tions have shown a large ' proportion of unfit
among the nation's young men. The appoint
ment" of a committee of neurologists to care for
the soldiers' nerves is tacit admission of the fact,
well known to the medical profession, that we
are a nation of neurotics.
Congress has taken note of the nation's health,
too. Mr. Claypool of Ohio has introduced a bill
providing for a national board of physical cul
ture, which is to co-operate with the states in
establishing a national system of physical train
ing in schools for the 'purpose of raising men
physically fit. Mr." Tilson of Connecticut has
made and widely distributed a speech on Walter
Camp's "Senior Service Corps," which enjoys the
patronage of ex-President Taft and other promi
nent men and has for its object the physical
training of men past middle life. These two
schemes, should they both be generally adopted,
together with universal military training fer
young men, would provide for the physical train
ing of the American from grammar school to
old age.
.
' He needs it that it not hard "to prove, eifher
by statistics or observation. The most impressive
statistical proof is the growth of degenerative
diseases, such as cancer, Bright's disease, heart
disease and other organic ailments which spring
from a lack of exercise and too much eating. Fifty
years ago America was' a relatively unsanitary
place and death rates from germ disease, such as
typhoid and malaria, were more numerous. ; But
we were poorer then; we didn't have any automo
biles, so we worked hard and walked. That lean
and fit-looking old gentleman known to the world
as Uncle Sam was a pretty fair portrait of us
as we looked then. A really representative Uncle
Sam today would have a forty-nine-inch waist
line and no whiskers, but a double chin.
Of course, out on the farms and in the west
generally the physical average is better. But
nearly half of us live in cities now and most of.
us are getting either too much of the world's
good things or not enough. Between the over
fed and the underfed there is just a narrow
stratum of the rightly fed and adequately exer
cised who can still run down a street car or move
a piano without permanent injury or undue per
spiration. Mr. Claypool's bill is a plan for cutting off
this physical degeneration at the start by incul
cating habits of exercise in early youth. It seems
to be a wise and comprehensive measure. There
is to be a federal board for instruction in physi
cal culture and an annual appropriation,, which
will be distributed among state boards for use
in establishing courses in physical culture. , Each
state is to put up as much as it receives, from
the federal government. '
The federal board is further to make, investi
gations and hold tests for determining the, very
best exercises. Prizes will be given to experts
who demonstrate by actual tests upon selected
subjects the value of their methods. In this, way
a national system of physical culture is to be
built up, based upon the most scientific methods
and upon a 'combination of state control and
federal supervision.
.Mr, Camp's senior service corps is' a blow, at
the eyil of physical degeneracy in its most perni
cious development. The worst of this spread of
degenerative disease is that it takes men Off be
tween the. ages of 45 and 65, when they should
have reached the stage of greatest usefulness to
themselves, their families and the state. Nearly
all of our business executives are between these
ages and the country can ill, spare them just now.
Mr.. CampV corps consists of just a hundred
men in New Haven, Conn., who want td keep
themselves fit in order to meet the emergency
of war. Other senior service corps will doubt
less be established, but any man who cannot be
long to such an organization may well consti
tute himself a senior service corps of one by fol
lowing the principles laid down by Mr. Camp.
s The work of the senior 'service corps is a
course of exercises lasting ninety days, which is
designed to bring jthe individual easily and with
out, strain or fatigue to a condition of physical
fitness. It consists of fifteen minutes' daily of
gymnastic exercise and forty-five minutes daily of
outdoor work. Mr. Camp's corps consists of 100
men of all ages from 45 to 73 and of all physical
types and sizes. Without exception they have
been made fit and all of them have adopted the
regimen of exercises as a permanent part of
their lives. -
Secretary of War Baker has endorsed the
plan and it is being given widespread publicity
with the object of encouraging the formation of
senior service corps throughout the country.' A
letter addressed to the Senior Service Corps, New
Haven, Conn., will bring a letter giving the de
tails 0 organization. .. The matter,is, of, course,
absolutely noncommercial. The chief essentials
are a surgeon, a leader to direct the work and a
body of men past military age who are willing
to devote an hour a day three times a week to
the tasltdf keeping themselves physically fit
Overloading the Tomb
-New York World-
The senators who eulogized the late Senator
Lane of Oregon, having taken occasion in that
connection to vilify the living it may not be
amiss to say that the antiwar group in Washing
ton is as slanderous of true Americanism in the
presence of death, as it was not long since in sup
port of German aggression.
If Mr. Lane, one of the willful twelve who de
feated armed neutrality by .a .filibuster, was
crushed by newspaper and other public criticism
and died as a result of it the fact does not affect
the merits of that controversy. Other speakers
with equal warrant in pathology and no iworse
taste might have maintained the argument that
men have been known to succumb to conscious
ness of error and a sense of shame.
The most scandalous feature of this perform
ance, however, was the avidity with which the
survivors of the twelve seized the opportunity to
justify themselves. Senators La Follette, Reed,
Vardaman, Norris, Gronna and others sobbed
out their panegyrics of their late associate, but
the garlands which they pretended to shower upon
the tomb of Mr. Lane were obviously contrived
for their own adornment. y , '
Although congressional eulogies of the dead
often run the whole gamut of vulgarity and false
hood, we believe this is the first occasion on
which they have been altogether selfish, hypo
critical and unpatriotic.
. . . '. lr "
People an Events
In some sections of Minnesota political farm
ers are harvesting a bumper crop of easy money.
In Stevens county the Morris Tribune reports
that., boosters of the Nonpartisan league fresh
from North Dakota in one month pulled down
$3,900 from 250 farmers initiated at $16 each.
"What county political organization has any
proper need of $4,000?" asks the Tribune. Oh,
you innocent , , ; i
Count Jacques von Maurik de Beaufort,' some
what notorious as an American heiress hunter,
broke into society columns last week with another
matrimonial venture. This time a Terre Haute,
Jnd girt is the bride. ' The count now wears the
military title of captain, being one of thirty
patriotic lecturers on the' staff of. the adjutant
general of New York. , New responsibilities and
soothing experiences serve as safeguards against
a repetition of the social' capers which brought
undesired notoriety to a Chicago heiress, the
first countess, and provoked the count's father-in-law
into at; undignified use of his boot
4
Right in the Spotlight.
Sir George E. Foster, who is sched
uled as a leading speaker before the
convention of the Grain Dealers' Na
tional association, which Is to meet
today at Buffalo, has held the im
portant post of minister of trade and
commerce in the Dominion cabinet
since 1911. He is a native of New
Brunswick and received his education
at the University of New Brunswick,
Edinburgh university and Heidelberg.
He taught in schools and universities
before going into politics in 1882,
when he represented New Brunswick
at Ottawa. Since then he- haa held
government positions almost con
tinually, becoming minister of marine
in 188S and finance minister three
years later. He is an eloquent orator
and next to Premier Borden he is re
garded as the most influential states
man in Canada.
One Year Ago Today In the War. ,
Island of Crete reported to be in
possession of the GreeK rebels.
Estimated at Paris that allies in
Somme region captured from Germans
117 square miles of French territory.
In Omaha Thirty Yean Ago. i
Dave Anderson is erecting a fine
cottage in South Omaha for his future
residence.
A couple ' of dead drunks were
caught in the yards in South Omaha
1A '
by Officer Redmond, and as he could
not get both to the jail, he used the
city parcel delivery and drove . them
In in state.
, A Jolly company of young people
left for the east to go to their respec
tive schools for a year of study. Eu
genie Kountze and Hay Copeland went
to Boston; Miss Nellie Rosewater to
Cooper institute. New York; Miss Lud
ington to Cincinnati; Caldwell Hamil
ton to Cornell university, and. Earl
Gannett to the Institute of Technology,
Boston.
P. h. Perine is laboring assiduously
to secure a location for the fountain
to be erected by Mrs. O. F. Davis,
widow of the late gentleman of that
name, and the probability now seems
that the memorial fountain or hydrant
and 'drinking trough will be located
on the south side of Farham street
opposite the new city hall. !
The Pioneer Townsite company filed
Its articles of incorporation, the board
of directors being John B. Hawley, la,
D. Richards, G. W. E. Dorsey, W. R.
Wilson and Frank Fowler.
Mike Maul of the firm of Drexel &
Maul has left for a three weeks' trip,
during which time he will visit
Toronto, the country "around Lake
Champlain and Hudson river points.
This Day In History.
1827 General Henry W. Slocum,
who commanded the right wing of
the federal army during a part of the
battle of Gettysburg, born at Delphi,
N. Y. Died in Brooklyn, April 14,
1894. .
1828 Sloop-of-war Concord . was
launched at Portsmouth, N. H.
1842 Mrs. Elizabeth Aylett daugh
ter bf the celebrated Patrick Henry,
died in King William county, Virginia.
1862 General Buell occupied Louis
ville. : - -
1892 Patrick 8. Gllmore, famous
bandmaster, died in St Louis. Born
in .Ireland,. December 25, 1829.
1898 A commission appointed by
fhe president to investigate the con
duct of the - War department during
the war with Spain began its sessions
in Washington.
1914 Belgians made a gallant
stand against the Germans south of
Antwerp.
1915 Russians defeated the Ger
mans in battle at.Wilejka.
The Day We Celebrate. ' t
Edgar M. Morsman, attorney, Is 44
today. He was bern in Omaha and
educated at the University of Mich
igan. ' '
. Charles Leslie, judge of district
court, is just 60 today. He was born
In Lafayette county, Wisconsin, and
found his first employment as tele
graph operator on the. Northwestern
road.
Major General William M. Wright
United States army, commanding
Camp Doniphan, Fort Sill, Okl., born
in New. Jersey fifty-four years ago to
day. "
Major' General Edward H. Plum
mer, commanding Camp . Dodge, Des
Moines, la., born in Maryland sixty
two years ago today.
Ellsha Lee, general manager of the
Pennsylvania railroad's eastern lines,
born in Chicago forty-seven years ago
today. , . - - i ' ,
3, Horace McFarland, president or
the American Civic association, born
in Juniata county, Pennsylvania, fifty
eight years ago today.
Eugene N. Foss, former governor of
Massachusetts, born at West Berk
shire, Vt, fifty-nine years ago today.
William H. Santelmann, director of
the United States Marine band, born
in Germany, fifty-four years ago today-
( . ; 'I
Timely Jottings and Reminders. ,
Rt. Rev. Joseph Chartrand, coad
jutor bishop of the Roman Catholic
diocese of Indianapolis, today cele
brates the silver jubilee of his ordina
tion. ' Y I' '
The annual national encampment of
the United Spanish War Veterans of
the United States is to meet at Cleve
land today for a three-day session.
The annual convention of the Na
tional Association of Commercial Or
ganization Secretaries is to open at
Chicago today and will continue over
Wednesday. , 1 ....
Colonel Roosevelt is Scheduled to
deliver a patriotic address in Kansas
City today at the formal opening of
the "Old Glory Week" carnival in that
city. f - v
The effects of the war on the car
riage building industry are to be dis
cussed at the annual convention of the
Carriage Builders' National associa
tion, 'meeting in Chicago today.
Herbert C. Hoover, federal food ad
ministrator, heads the list of speakers
to be heard at the annual convention
of the Grain Dealers National associa
tion, which is to meet today at Buf
falo. - '
Approximately 4,000 casting manu
facturers of the United States and
Canada are expected in Boston today
to attend the annual meetings of the
American , Foundrymen's association
and American Institute of Metals.
The first Christian Efficiency con
gress of the Methodist church is to
meet in Pittsburgh today with emi
nent leaders of the denomination in
attendance from all sections of the
country.
The American Library association
has set aside the week beginning to
day for raising a million-dollar fund
with which to build and equip
libraries for every American training
camp and cantonment in this country
and abroad. .
HERE AND THERE.
Last Tear mora than one-half of the atn
denta of Berea college paid part or all of
their expensea by manual labor.
Switserland haa built ita higheat aerial
tramway, a mile and a half long and aacend
init to an altitude of nearly a mile, eolely
tor tourist. "
7 jrw A
Universal Military Training Needed.
To the Editor of The Bee: With
universal military training we would
increase our individual man power, as
well as our national strength. We
would fraternize better as men and we
would fuse better as Americans.
We would come to a common ground
of understanding. Capital and labor,
mingling in khaki, would find less to
disagree about and more to stimulate
mutuality.
We would make it a risky thing to
vex the American eagle, instead of a
Joke to tease the do-do. We would
make our sons better fathers and their
sons better offspring. We would hand
a peace insurance policy to our pos
terity Instead of leaving them a lemon
of liability.
We would benefit mentally, morally
and physically, for we would all go to
a school of manliness instead of loaf
ing around the corner store of maud
lin sentimentality, during our impres
sionable years.
We would lay a solid foundation of
citizenship that would elevate our
statesmanship. We would be militant
for peace instead of passive toward
trouble.
We would Join the letters "U. S."
In the word "US" and the world would
wake up to a new US that was United
and Strong Unanimous and Safe.
That's why all of US should insist
upon the passage of a universal mili
tary training bill.
WM. WRIGLEY, JR.
SAID IN FUN.
"What makea you ao thoughtful. Alger
non, dearest?'1
"I waa just thinking of the disturbance
to buslnesa caused by the war, darling. Now
they aay there la going to be a augar ahort
age In the United States."
"Well, my own, don't get worried. I
would Just aa.aoomhave a nice long auto
mobile ride aa a boa of chocolates, any
time." Baltimore American,
"I used to think Dubwalte waa a man of
few words."
"What caused you to change your opin
ion T
"I happened to be sitting near him at
tha base ball, park the other day when the
umpire made a rank decision in favor of the
visiting team." Birmingham Age-Herald.
"You don't aeem to have any danger signs
on the roads around Plunkville."
"No use," said the native of that burg.
"There's no great peril for careful mator
ists, and a danger sign means nothing to
the other kind." Louisville Courier-Journal.
Little Anne waa ill. Her throat was sore
and she waa hoarse. Her mother suggested
a mixture of butter and sugar aa a remedy.
"Well, mother," inquired the young
patient, "if It makes me well I'll be sugar
cured, won't 17" ' 'T-napalia News.
Mrs. Dlggs Joh.i, wnat is aa absolute
vacuum?
Dlggs An absolute vacuum, my dear. Is
something that exists only In your mind. '
Boston Transcript.
. THE REGULAR NAVY MAN.
C. K. Graff, Chief Carpenter's Mate. U. S. S.
He woars no wrist watch nor gold braid
Ter sparkle In the sun;
He don't parade with ray cockade
And posies in his gun:
He ain't no .pretty sailor boy
So lovely, splc and spans
He wears a crust of real sea dust
The Regular Navy Man;
The perchin', lurchin',
Seagoing urchin.
Regular Navy Man.
He ain't at home In Sunday school.
Nor yet at social tea.
And on the day he gets his pay
He'a apt ter spend It free;
He ain't no temperance advocate.
He likes It now and then;
He's kinder rough and may be tougn.
This Regular Navy Man;
The rarin', tearln",
Sometimes swearln'
Regular Navy Man.
No state'll call him "Noble Son"
He ain't no ladles' pet.
But let a row start anyhow,
They'll send for him, you bet;
He don't cut any Ice at all
In Newport's social plan;'
?e's cn the Job, this husky gob,
ha Regular Navy Man;
The mlllin', drlllln'
m.1 fnr klllln'.
Regular Navy Man.
They ain't no tears shed over him
When he goes off to war.
He geta no apeech nor prayful "preach
From mayor or governor;
He lashes his bag and hammock np,
Treada the gang-plank with the van,
Shovea off to fight with all hi might.
The Regular Navy Man;
The rattlln', battlin".
Colt's or Gatlin',
Regular Navy Man.
He makes no fuss about the job;
He don't talk big or brave
He knowa he'a In ter fight and win
Or help fill a sailor's grave;
He ain't no mamma's darlln', but i
He does the best he can.
And he'a the chap that wins the scrap.
This Regular Navy Man;
No namby, pamby,
But cool and sandy,
Regular wavy wan.
Locomotive Auto Oil ,
The Best Oil We Know
51c Per Gallon
1ULV,
OH CunparV i
GRAIN EXCHANGE BLDC President.
The War's Effect
on Tefepbns Traffic
Since the beginning of the war the government has been
a very heavy user of our service, and private requests for
telephone facilities have been greater than ever before.
We are finding it difficult to meet these Increased de
mands for service and equipment because of the shortage
of metals and other telephone materials.
Ton can "do your bit" by asking only
for such telephone equipment as you
must have and by making only such local
or long distance calls as are absolutely
necessary. ,
NEBRASKA TELEPHONE CO.
U B A arrive at Chicago la the Passenger Terminal of
Chicago & Northwestern Ry. 1
M m adjacent to hotel and business district It M
I f DAILY SERVICE: 11
B I It. Omaha. . 7:30a.m. Ar. Chicago.. 6-.4Sp.in. B R
H Q " ..12:30p.m. " " ..6:45a.m. I
H .. 6:00 p. m. ..7:34a.m. f f
la , .. 8:S0p.m. " " 9:00 a.m. m
1 U .. 8:39p.m. M, M ..ll:00a.n. fif m
..10:10p.m.. 44 ..11:30a.m. MB
W The Best of Everything iff
V BW ; Tickets, reaerrsUorja and Inionnaiion at jST Jf
3 City Ticket Offices, I40L3 Faraam St, jOT
.a Telephone Douglas 3740. JW jr '
W! JOHMMrXLEr,CeaT Agent Jw .
T . , h 'aj jji
1 :. s f
Fast Splendidly
Equipped Trains 1
Over a doufele track ,
system with auto
matic electric safety
signals all the way
from Omaha to Chi
cago. :
entire
THE OMAHA BEE INFORMATION BUREAU
Washington, O. C
Enclosed find a 2-cent stamp, for which you will olease aend ma.
ely free, a copy of "Storing Vegetables." Pase sena me.
Name.......................
a a ,a ee e ee ee eae eeee e eeeeVaf
Street Address.. ,(ti
City.
.State.