THE
OMAHA,
By EDWARD BLACK.
We Meet Again.
Recently I noticed an illustration of
a manly young fellow seeking employ,
ment of a pompus employer who
treated the applicant in a very curt
manner. One part of the picture show
ed a future meeting of the twain, the
young man appearing as a life guard
at a bathing beach and, as boss of the
job, he was warning the older man
of the dangers beyond the ropes. The
older man had no alternative, and he
was cowed when he recognized the
young man to whom he had accorded
such scant courtesy on a previous and
quite different occasion.
This illustrates the fact that we
meet again; that the present day rcla
tionswf members of society are so in
terwoven that it behooves each one to
treat the other fellow m such a man
ner that the relations of the morrow
may not be strained.
Apply this to. everyday business af
fairs and see where we arrive. Tike,
for instance, any of the business estab
lishments where a group of employes
are working. One of the clerks or
salesman of today may be in a supe
rior position tomorrow. Is it not, then,
better to mix with our business asso
ciates in a magnanimous manner, that
.we may look them squarely in their
faces tomorrow, come what may?
This means setting aside petty
jealousies and observing the golden
rule. I think the whole proposition
resolves itself into an observance of
the golden rule, the greatest rule ever
written for the guidance of mankind.
Reasonable dignity and pride need
nt be sacrificed to gain the end in
view. Just apply the rule of reason,
a little common sense; a little horse
sense, if you please.
, This proposition may be carried out
infinitum. It embraces neighborhood
relations. It harks back to the thought
that we are all brothers' under the
skin. It means that chickens will re
turn home to roost; that bread cast
upon the water will return in many
days; that as. we sow, so shall we
reap, and that our business or social
relations of today may have a vital
bearing upon our . relations of to
morrow. There is a great middle ground upon
which all may meet with safety, al
ways keeping in mind the fact that
we meet again and that it pays to be
civil, considerate, frank and honest,
under , all circumstances and at all
times.''
' .
Heard En Passant.
"I thought ydu got paid for what
you knew."
"Don't take the tops off; I want
them for my rabbits."
"I would not quit my job for the
best man in the world.'
"We have two boarders at our
house. One plays. a cornet and the
tither a violin.
"Who hit you, on the eye?"
"Step forward in the car, please."
"A fellow just gets to learn a whole
lot xt things and then. iLis time. to
kick the bucket." , ,
This is a" Good One.; r ,., - . t .-.
An Omaha man charged with il
legal possession of intoxicants pleaded
that he intended to feed the liquor to,
his hogs. Were they blind pigs? (Let
the women and children out first.)
Have You Met This One? ;,.
. Specimen No. 71 1 in the gallery of
human types: 1 - .
"This, ladies and gentlemen, is the
remnant of a member of the human
race. He. once gave promise of bet
ter fellings. While siding ift an eleva-
Comb Honey
I (i
Did You Guess Us? We Are (in Our Order) The- Bee' s
City Editor, Managing Editor, Editor-in-Chief
. Associate Editor and Exchange Editor
How we looked then.
How we look now.
Omaha Sunday Bee
SUNDAY MORNING, AUGUST
Gjrofe History of (Wia
AH flie Irutti and unlrufli lltats ill Jo know
By A. R.
Chapter XXVII Union Pacific.
There , was considerable activity
among the cities along the Missouri
river to get the Union Pacific railroad.
Bellevue tried to get it and Omaha
tried to get it. Omaha won out be
cause it was a large city and had wide
awake citizens to push its claims.
Afternoon papers, March 7, 1864, con
tained the news that Abraham Lin
coln, who was then president of the
Lnited States, had found time in the
midst of his duties in the civil war to
give this plum to Omaha.
When this rtews reached Omaha
there was a grand parade and cele
bration in the Atiditoilum because the
people knew this would bring many
important additions to the city such
as large depots, headquarters build
ing, shops and the like. People living
in Bellevue were so mad that they
said they would never travel on the
Union Pacific, but they have long
since forgotten this idle threat.
President Lincoln was a man fa
mous for using short wors of one
or two syllables and saying every
thing in the simplest way, but in
designating Omaha as the. eastern
terminus of the Union Pacific he used
TfnA ZS64.Qmsisjfes tie U7?
very complicated language. Instead
of just saying "Omaha shall be the
eastern end of the Union Pacific," he
wrote it out like this:
"I, i Abraham Lincoln, president of
the United States, do hereby fix so
much of the western boundary of the
state of Iowa as lies between the
north and south boundaries . of the
United States township, within which
the citv of Om-ha is situated, as the
point from which the line of railroad
and telegraph hereinbefore designated
shall be constructed, said point being
east of and opposite to the east line
of section ten in township fifteen
north of range three east of the sixth
principal meridian in the territory of
Nebraska.''..
' Of course, nobody could make
head or tail of this. Some people
thought that Lincoln, who was a great
lover of humor, wrote this out as a
joke,, just to puzzle the people. But
this is not true. It was too serious a
matter, to joke about.
- However, it might have been better
if the president had confined himself
to simple nvords and language. The
proclamation was ambiguous and a
controversy arose as to whether the
terminal of the Union Pacific should
tor he-hautedth. floor number in. the
ear of a fellow passenger.' He had
nice folks, too.".- V
Foot Notes. : ,'.'"."
Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are
marching," ,
The Great Divide. . '
-Fifty-fifty."
A Striking Mannerism.
Carrying matches on your ear or in
your hat band.
19, 1917.
GROH.
be in Council Bluffs or Omaha. Lin
coln being dead, he could not tell how
he had intended his proclamation to
read. So it was hauled into the courts
and the lawyers fought and orated
over it for years before it was finally
decided by the supreme court that the
legal terminus was to be in Council
Bluffs.
However, this didn't do Council
Bluffs much good as Omaha has the
2Je?w? invito $etit
shops, headquarters and all the big
things about the Union Pacific. A
bridge was also constructed at
Omaha, this being necessary to. get
the trains across the Missouri river.
It is standing to this day, though it
is not the same bridge as the first one,
having been replaced twice. The
present bridge is a very handsoma
structure and strong enough to bear
the heaviest trains. It iJ used by all
the roads running into Omaha which
pay rent to the LTnion Pacific for the
use of it.
The Union Pacific is a great con
venience' to Omaha, providing direct
trains to Fremont, Schuyler, Grand
Island and other points. During the
summer the road offers rates to Den
ver, Los Angeles, San Francisco and
other places which are taken advan
tage of by many-people.:
' Questions on Chapter XXVII."
1. What kind of words did Presi
dent Lincoln usually use? ,
2. How did he write when locating
the Union Pacific?
3. What did this result in?
Everybody Has
Taking baths is the interesting
hobby of W. M. Coble,, postoffice in
spector. He takes them copiously
and often. He talces them chiefly cold
at this season of the, year. Nor does
he confine his bathing to Saturday
nights. The tub at his home does not
stand dusty all through the week n
til the last night of the week. No, no.
Quite "the opposite. Now, take these
hot nights, Mr. Coble's hobby is kept
saddled and bridled and "champing at
the bit" all through the night. Mr.
Coble wakes at almost any hour. He
finds the heat oppressive. He rises
from his downy couch, hurries to his
waiting, saddled, and... bridled hobby,
leaps into the saddle and is off to the
bath room.
"Sunday night," Mr. Coble related,
"t took four bafhS'tfilring the night.
First, when I went to bed. Then an
other at midnight. Then, about 4:30
in the morning I woke up and there
was a regular hot wind blowing in at
my window like a blast from a fur
nace. I took another cold bath. And
then I took the .fourth when I got up.
"I use the-water just as it comes
from the spigot. It's, pretty cold, but
it puts the pep into you and keeps
you cool" 1
Nero's wife, Poppoea became fa
o
oW''0
zJfttCT QlVt2l5 5 SC.
2 heR-iittj.
BY A. EDWIN LONG.
It was a circus with elephants and
kangaroos that first lured him to
Omaha. He was a toddling baby boy
in dresses, was Charles D. Beaton,
when he came to Omaha front Schuy
ler with Ma and Pa Beaton' to-see
the elephants. Charley gurgled and
clucked with glee fthen Pa Beaton
tossed peanuts into the elephant's
mouth.
But alas, the end of that perfect
day was a tornado, and little Charlie
was caught in the midst of iu The
psA for iis bur&. - . 1
a Hobby! What's Yours?
mous for '.her daily baths in asses'
milk, but it's a question whether she
deserves more fame for her hobby
than Postoffice Inspector Coble does
for his.
Lieutenant W. W. Waddell, of the
navy recruiting station, admits he has
a landlubbers hobby. It's walking. .
The navy officer spends practically
all his spare time "hiking" about. "I
guess I've been on board ship so
much I can't help but walking around
when ever I get the chanie,'
While on.lapd duty Lieutenant
Waddell is required to do 4o much
walking to keep in trim. He usually
welcomes these special tests and often
walks much farther than ordered, to.
Charles E. Gleason makes a hobby
of whistling while in the batti tub..'" He
likes to whistle and splash the soap
suds at the same time". The harder
he rubs the louder he whistles. Peo
ple in Paxton Court Terrace, where
he lives, know when he is .taking a
bath by the sottnd of the whistle, so
it is said around Paxton Court. Re
cently on a Sunday morning after he
had been out on the road all week he
was very patriotic in his musical in
clinations. To the splash, splash of
the water in the bath tub shrilled the
-
itiatiaG
r r t
uoolftiate
Re kif iAe beacon
OBeatons were on the train bound for
home, when the tornado rolled most
of the cars off the track near Rogers.
Neb. Yes, it rolled off every car on
the train except the one in which the
Beatons were riding. " Many people
were killed but those in the car with
the Beatons were spared, so little
Charlie thrust his cheerful face out
of the car window and gurgled and
"patty-caked" at the doctors and
nurses as they carried the injured off
on stretchers. " s
The elder Beaton had come to Ne
braska following his work, as rail
piping notes, of "The Star. Spangled
Banner." It was early morning. Mrs.
Gleason and her daughter, Nellie, had
not yet finished breakfast. Long did
the head of the family splash and
whistle with many a fetching cres
cendo. At last, in his bathrobe, he
stepped out, still whistling. To his
amazement he found Mrs. Gleason
and Nellie standing at rigid attention
at the table, where they had stood for
half an hour while' the bacon and
eggs had grown cold and the break
fast porridge had ceased to steam.
J. A. C. Kennedy held up his hand
when asked if he had a hobby. "You
may have three guesses," he re
marked. , His hobby is boys and, girls.
First of all, he, loves his own children
and makes them his hobby. "Chil
dren," he said, "are more. interesting
than golf, automobiles or anything I
can think of. It is interesting to
watch their development and hear
their cute sayings."
He states that after a hard day's
work there is nothing more soothing
than to have a romp with the chil
dren. .'r
; "You may not call this a hobby, but
if I have any hobby at al it is chil
dren. I always did like children and
I guess the children like me," - he
added. .' .' , .
I
The Weekly & Bumble Bee
OMAHA;. SUNDAY MORNING, AUGUST 19, 1917.
. THE BITtlBLK BEE.
A. STINGER, EDITOR.
Communications on any topic
received, without postage or
signature. None returned.
NO ADS AT ANT PRICE.
mOW
THE HOME COMING,
t a. m. Reveille! Almost
polled by this late morning
sleep. . .
7:30 a, . m. Just-in tnne for
breakfast. Sly, but It tastes
goodl i
1:30 a. m. Talk to Bessie over
the phone. Told her I'd be
right out.
t a. m. She's Just the sweetest
girl. And how she did ad
mire my uniform. ..
11 Noon Break, away for that
Commercial club luncheon.
Told Bess I'd be .right back.
12:30 to 1:36 Feast of food and
flood of oratory,
t p. m. Back at Bees'. She
nearly- makes me wish I'd
never volunteered. ' -
p. m Have to get home to
dinner. Oee. It's a bore.
1:30 p. m. Center of attraction
at dinner for proud but weepy
family.
7:30 p. m. Back at Bess' house.
Oh, she's a peach of a girl.
11 Midnight Break ranks.,- .
1:30 a. m. Taps.'
WARN 1X0.
Girls whose hearts have been
set a -flutter by the Ktunnlng
looklng boys In khaktBck from
Snellpig on furlough are
warned thai ou can't pay groc
ery bills in these days of high
living cost with Just shoulder
strap. The war l yet young
and who knows? A live meal
ticket Is a. good deal better
hltchng posr than a dead hero.
BORROWED PTING.
Nebraska farm boys ought to
give a good account of them
selves if they" ever get Intp
pword fights with the enemy.
WhyT Think of the fencing
lessons they have had. ..
The annual Inspection of the
police force of Omaha took
place the other night. The semi
annual one wits held the other
week when the force passed In
review on the .wit net's stand.
This thing of women enlist
ing In fighting regiments con
tains some startling -possibilities.
Consider the embarrass
- ment of a modest man when a
lady lieutenant cries out, "To
arms!"
We don't pretend to keep Op
with all the changes In styles,
but wa notice that an Omaha
paper, telling about a fire, says
that the woman of the house
ran out with her party dress
tucked under her arm.
MR. JAP MAN'S "IFS."
Hon. Bea Sting Kdditur: If
Hon. Haller Is Female for Pat
Necum, Hon. Defense Board
say, ho is misfit on Regent
Board.
.Jap man predicts ' more "lfs."
If said Pat Kawcum Is lack
of patriotic color for right of
letter to hyphen pamper, la not
said paper of same hew for pub
lish of said words?
If, then, said Haller la mis
fit for Regent and said hy
phen paper misfit for Merica
for print of such lack of pa
triotic color, la not Hon. Owner
of said Hyphen paper, Nebr's
extlngwished Father Senator
for Hon. U. 8. Senate, also mis
fit for speak of Hon. Nebr.
Peeple Is said Oggust body?
Said Hon. Hitchcock Is en
courage of said words of Hon.
Haller for that he tot for atop
of exportaahun of fight tools
to allies for fiiht of Kaiser
ruthness In submerging Wjir
fair. Such are lfs I ask to know.
NOGI HASH1DA.
road contractor.
He was buildingQ
U ..J . 1 I
some Union Pacific bridges around
Schuyler; that is how the family
chanced to be located there. That is
how Charlie chanced to be born in
Schuyler.
Following his railroad work further,
the elder Beaton moved the family
to Omaha in 1881. Charlie had but
grown his kilts by this time and be
gan to fight with the boys in sclitol.
This lasted until two big boys under
took to push his nose around where
his ear should be. Charlie was afraid
they might make good, so he intro
duced a campaign of "Schrecklich
keit," as the kaiser calls it.
He bit one boy's finger off, and the
other immediately fled in terror.
Charlie then played base ball in the
kid teams, caught behind stick without
glove or -mask, and some times for a
change took a turn, at eating the red
hot ones from fhe position of short
stop, , . ..
Because he could swim like a duck,
the boat master at Courtland beach,
after arguing for a time, allowed
Cliarlie to get in a boat with a party
rowing across when the wind was
up and the waVes were high. The
boy was only twelve, but he assured
the boatmaster if anything happened
he cpuld take care of himself.
He did, too; for sure enough . the
boat went over in the middle of the
lake. Three persons were drowned,
but Charlie Beaton swam toshore
like a healthy muskrat, and crawled
out wringing the water carelessly
from his hair.
OMAHA GOT RID OF
Profuse of Promise, But Short On Performance, His
Friends Form Reception Committee to -Make
Sure of His Departure.
i -
By O. B. Short. '
''I'm going away, from here,"
were Bill's words, as he took his
mournful leave. There were ,no
bells ringing, nor sirens blowing,
when he departed. He left "un
honored, unwept and unsung."
Omaha got rid of Bill. He was
a liability, rather than an asset
to the community.
One morning Bill was washed
up by the tide of flotsam and
Jetsam and was taken unto the
bosom. of the municipality. He
gave some promise of being a
help to his adopted town, so- he
was elected to the city council.
This was of course many years
ago. He was a political acci
dent. He was glib of tongue
and made sundry specious prom
ises. Among his pre-election as
severations was one about hla
heart beating In unison with the
great heart of Omaha. He was
the original little promlser, but
Bill hit the toboggan when he
fell short on performance.
"He who promises and does
not perform la a slacker." When
Bill donned his aldermanlc toga
he became stricken with a
cardlao relapse. His heart got
out of tune with the spirit of
Omaha. He kept one hand ex
tended behind his back and with
the other hand he held clear
Havanas He lost the democ
racy of the corncob - pipe and
surely and swiftly dug his poli
tical grave.
One day a group of citizens
took Bill out to view his last
political resting place. With
solemn rites he was Interred,'
figuratively and politically, and
that was the end of Bill. He
turned his face toward the set
ting sun and there was no one to
impede his progress.
Tea, Omaha got rid of BUI.
He was' a slacker, . alas and
alack for Bill and his tribe.
v The trouble with Bill was that
he had a myopic vision. He
violated a public trust and
Imagined that a publlo trust was
a private picnic. He expended
public funds without thought of
a day of reckoning. He could
not see the great publlo eye
focused on him all of the time
and Just Imagined himself a reg
ular city slicker, who could "get
by" without being detected. He
did not have his ear to the
ground, nor did he train his
eyes on the hilltops of public
senllment. He had not read
about fooling some of the peo
ple some of the time and all of
the people some of the time, but
not all of the people all of the
time. He Just fooled himself
and so Omaha got rid of him.
He was thron back Into the
flotsam and Jetsam of the hu
man tide, to float with the drift
wood. It may be that BUI will
find himself some day, get next
to himself, as It were. But he
learned the lesson that Omaha la
no place for slackers.
One of the worst traits Bill had
was to try to change the habits,
of others. Overlooking the beam
In his own eye, he was forever
observing the mote In the eyes
of others. He would try to ob
scure himself In pseudo-righteousness
by posing as a pillar of
tiro by night and a pillar of
cloud by day, as a Moses to lead
others out of the wilderness. And
thus Bill ran his couroc.
Yes, Omaha got rid df Bill.
He lias gone away from here.
STATE J.EWS. .
York News-Times: Omaha
people are thinking they were
"miked" when they were hand
ed the commission form of gov
ernment. Bastings Tribune Omaha Is
soon to entertain the national
swine show. When it comes to
affairs of that kl.nd Nebraska's
metropolis Is whole hog or none.
Beatrice Express: Officials at
the Omaha stock yards have
predicted that hogs will reach a
mark of $17 this coming whi
ter. It has 'always been said
that the "squeal" of the pig
was the only portion not util
ised In some manner. It the
predicted mark Is reached the
squeal wilt be about all a ma
jority of us ifill have In the
va of pork.
Nebraska City Press: The
Sixth regiment Is known as the
"Dandy Sixth." An observing
patriotic friend of this news
paper suggests that the new
reciment be designated as the
"Lucky Seventh." There is good
fortunu in unmbers, especially
In "seven."
i
At Creighton university he liked
l l T T - 1 I .V - '
kiicuiisiry. nc iuvcu 10 vi aicn a pieit
of phosphorous do a Highland fling
on a glass of water, the while ii
spurted fireworks. He felt sure it
must be fun. to be a-druggist or a
doctor. '
For one year he studied medicine
in St. Louis. He didn't like cutting
up the dead as well as he liked mix
ing blue and red bottles in the fab
oratory, so he took up the study of
pharmacy.
When he came back to Omaha he
talked it over with a man named Mc
Ginn and the two decided to start
a drug store. The Beaton-McGinn
company was the restllt at Fifteenth
and - Farnam streets. That was in
1899. ; With one little door,, one little
roorn and one little counter they
started,, buj growth was rapid. In
1903 Beaton bought out his 'partner.
Charlie now has time to run a. big
drug store, govern Ak-Sar-Ben, aid
in managing the affairs of the Oma
ha Commercial club as a member of
the executive committee, and frolic
around at the Omaha club, and Coun
try club besides.
t In Tills Scries "How Omaha licit
C. J. Ennt." . -
Phonographs in Aeroplanes.
Some of the military aeoplanei are nan
fitted' with phonographs, with a speaking
tube running to the mouth of the observer,
o that by talking into the machine at any
time during the fight he can record his ob
servations and still have his hands free for
his field-glass or his sketching pencil.
HIM"
-JS OCB TOWN.
John L. Webster has been
up In Minnesota showing off
his new clothes.
Atlnahost Gregory don't bsve
to tell guests - that he la the
manager of'the hotel; he looks
ther part without asking.
Milt Peters : says he never
would have got caught on the
exemption board had be known
how much work la in it and
Milt Is no work-shirker either.
Harry Binder come . over
from the Bluffs every day
whether he has any business
to transact here or not. That
la why he lives in the Bluffs.
Al Krug drew a case of near
beer as a prize at tbe recent
manufacturer's outing and be
cause it wasn't the kind he
makes traded it for a package
of starch. -
,. Henry T. Clarke, Jr., as the
traffio commissioner for tbs
Commercial club, ' la learning
now by experience bow it feels
to go up against the State Rail
way commission bujs-saw
which he used to operate him
self. OH, THE" riTY!
Headlines we fall to find:
"Kaiser Wilhelm Hag Abdi
cated." .
"Rourkes Carry Off the Pen
nant." "Joe Butler Puts Back His
Unearned Salary."
"Lynch and Dennlson Kiss
and Make Up."
"Auto Speeder Sent to Jail."
"Dry i Amendment Declared
Unconstitutional."
"J lard Coal Price Drops to
Eight Dollars a Ton."
"Hatty Black Takes Vow
Never Again to Have His Pic
ture Took.'.
"Army Board Admits Mistake
and Relocates Cantonment at
Omaha."
MIDSt'MMER DEFINITIONS.
Vacation From the word va
cate, to remove out of. Meaning
that this is the season of the
year - when otherwise sane
people move out of their com
fortable homes ' and into the
woods and by the lake and of
fer their persons as experi
ment stations for sundry in
sects,, to-wtt: Mosquitoes, anta,
sand flies,- etc.
Money A term interchange
able with railroad ticket, hotel
bill, auto hire and donkey,
rides.
A Good Time A period of
existence, for persons who take
vacations, as covering the few
days preceding the trip and lbs
conversation on their return.
You ought to spend a few s
weeks there A synonym for
being stung.
Compromise A term Uferl tu
end a debate that results hi
going where your wife had de
cided vuu should ppond )utlf
virvation. The ThumUiiulL