THE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, AUGUST 25, 1916.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER
VICTOR ROSEWATEE, EDITOR
THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PROPRIETOR.
Entered at Omaha poatofflee eooend.elae matter.
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CORRESPO DENCE. V .
Address communications relating to news an adltortal
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JULY CIRCULATION.
57,569 Daily Sunday 52,382
' mrttht Wllliama. elreulatloil manager of Tha Baa
Publishing aompeny. being duly ", "'1,,h; '2?!
average circulation for tha month of Jul. WIS. raa
S7.ttS dally and 52.182 Sunday.
' DWIOHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager
'' Subscribed In my presence and eworn to haf." Set
ttU M A&BSRT HUNTER. Notary PubMo.
Sobacribwr lawrinf tha city tarpar.rllw
skoals! kT Tha Ba. raallael to thana. Ad
' slra will b ahafa1 aa oftea. a raquaataw.
' The DeotKhland reports sse at home port
Any wsy you look at it, wheat and corn are
having a bully time. -, ;i , '
In the grain market, ai in all line of business,
the quality back of the label move the goods.
Still, Nebraska votes would be much more
welcome than thanks of Philippine office holder!.
'
An automobile bucking a railroad train standi
about as much chance as a pedestrian bucking an
All reports' agree that the crop of sauerkraut
posteiiei sufficient strength to uphold the d
vance in price. '. $ ;
The democratic mix-up at Waihington war
rants a hurry call for the party's noiseless peace
maker, Colonel House. '
S The arrival of the Deutschland at last in home
waters means that those other "arrivals" were
somebody's pipe-dreams. ' ' . .
I A fortune and some over awaits the automo
bile maker who equips his cars with necessaries
for rendering "first aid to the injured."
The hope of the future, like the grim grip of
the present, responds to the squeeie of war.
Bibles are now taking the price escalator. .
' General Pershing's army continues in fine
fettle, "fit for a fight or a frolic." To its credit
lit irbe Said it went as far as politics permitted,
jj; " i i
i One thing that would help the good roads
movement mightily would be better assurance on
the part of the autoists that they would use them
with more regard to safety. . ' t
' That below-test milk flareback merely tar
nishes another example of democratic inefficiency
and of the supremacy of the state chemist over
the municipal health commissioner.
f Incidentally, where' does .'the, School board
come in, to whom all police court fines belong,
' when those fines are worked out by subletting
the prison labor to city contractors on cash
basis? : : ' -
- Ten of the thirteen nations actively engaged
in war are represented among the fighting forces
assembled on the Saloniki front , This constitutes
the most representative meet staged by Mara in
modern times. -
The Bee deals with its mechanical employes
through their labor unions and 'makes collective
bargain contracts that include an arbitration
clause. Why should not the railway wage agree
ments likewise provide for arbitration?
V Inhabitants of Germany are to be restricted
to half a pound of meat per week, calculated to
supply fully all actual nourishment needs. If
such a limit were put into effect .over here we
would soon see the high price of meat take a
tumble.
People and Events J
, John F: Fitzgerald, the "Honey Fitz" of Bos
ton, has taken the plunge in the Massachusetts
. senatorial race. No omce with a democratic tag
is too large or elevated to chill the ambition of
Boston's ex-mayor. His appearance in the con
test clinches a walkover for Senator Henry Cabot
Lod;e- ;;;
, When a girl in her teens, some years ago, lit
tle Bertita Browen of Detroit playfully tossed a
rose at the feet of Mrs. Lizzie Miller Palmer, wife
of Michigan's noted senator. , A life-long friend
ship grew out of the incident, and Mrs. Palmer,
recently deceased, willed $10,000 to her girl friend,
now a grown woman and mother. 1
Physical culture specialists contend that city
girls are huskier and better developed than rural
lassies. One Herman Lang, a Chicago tourist,
denies the allegation and languishes in jail at
Valparaiso, Ind., as evidence to the contrary.
While making off with a load of household jewels
without permission, a buxom country girl pounced
on Herman and gave him a hug that held him
until the sheriff arrived.
The greatest show ever fulled off at the sea
water fringe of Los' Angeles consisted of parad
ing a bunch of feminine bathers from the beach
to the court house clad in forbidden bathing suits
' and barrels. The modest "City of Angels" has
outlawed the one-piece bathing suit for women.
Defiant violation of the rule led to the arrest of
four women who were obliged to get into barrels
and provide a spectacle for a jeering crowd.
' William Allen White's Emporia Gagette as
sails as nature fakirs the Chautauqua advertisers
who picture W. J. Bryan wearing hair on the
front trenches of his brow. "When Mr. Bryan
was in Emporia recently," says the Gazette, "his
hair accomplished a strategic retreat to a new
salient slightly northeast of nis collar. It is rather
firmly entrenched behind the crown of his head,
and the Chautauqua which advertises the Silver
longued One's front hair as part of the program
i Kuilty of deliberately deceiving the public. The
Nebraska Wonder's front hair is buried in the
tame grave with the 'free and unlimited.'"1
Storyette of the Day. . , . , .
Only Stop Your Garbling.
For ways that are dark and tricks that are vain
the heathen Chinee is peculiar but Bret Harte's
heathen Chinee has nothing on the desperate
tactics of the democratic organa in Nebraska re
sorting to deliberate falsehood to throw dust in
the voter's eyes. With nothing to stand on in the
record of their own party, these democratic
mouthpieces naturally want to divert attention
from their own shortcomings and, as one method,
constantly misquote what The, Bee has said with
reference to the railway regulation planks in na
tional and state platforms. Following in the foot
steps of the World-Herald, the Lincoln Star puts
in our mouth the statement that "exclusive federal
regulation is 'the clean-cut issue of the cam
paign,' " and also that "it is 'the' Issue."
Let us set everyone straight by reproducing
exactly what we really did say, which is as fol
lows: We hive clearly a straight-out issue between
the two political parties in this pending presi
dential campaign as between nationalizing the
control and regulation of the railroads, and con- i
tinuing the feeble, confusing and conflicting ef- '
forts at control by each state for itself within
its own boundaries. On that issue The Bee is
for national control and is confident that the
republican party, if entrusted with the duty,
will work out a reorganization of the Interstate
Commerce commission to make it equal to its
task and responsive to the public demands.
Let us repeat that the positions of (the repub
lican party and the democratic party are at issue
on the question of railroad regulation by federal
authority (eventually exclusive) against railroad
regulation by forty-eight independent and con
flicting state authorities; that this is "a straight
out issue" between the parties, but not "the" issue
any more than, nor as much ss, some other issues.
Our democratic friends are welcome to quote
The Bee if they will only quote us c6rrectly with
out distortion or garbling.
The Deutschland Reaches Home,
Captain Paul Koenig and his crew have com
pleted the cycle of their great undertaking. They
have brought the undersea freight carrier, the
Deutschland, safely into its home port and are
now getting the enthusiastic congratulations of
their countrymen because of it. The feat may
seem ordinary, because of the certainty with
which the task was carried out; yet it is just this
methodical, systematic procedure that has marked
the course of German progress for forty years,
nd to it must be ascribed both the conception
and the execution of the Deutschland's voyage.
Devoid of the spectacular, it nevertheless carries
something more than' the interest that , inci
dentally attaches to' a pioneer effort in these
times when the world is not inclined to be sur
prised at any achievement. Lessons of experi
ence gained by this voyage will serve in develop
ment of the type of craft better suited for the
purpose, and the end of an absolute blockade of
sea ports is reached, at least until such time as
the bottom as well as the surface of the ocean
may be patrolled.
What Little Farm Can Do.
Nebraskans, who are accustomed to think of
farms in terms of hundreds of acres, may with
profit study a farm of twenty-seven and one-hajf
acres on which the owner is growing rich. It is
located in Harlan county, and has become the
subject of considerable interest in its own neigh
borhood because of the results produced. This
farm is ririgated by pumping, and is so managed
that it brings forth profits per acre far in excess
of the ratio of the broad expanses tilled by mod
ern machinery. Four men find employment In
its care, so it not only provides for these, but
gives its owner a profit. As an illustration of the
possibilities of Intensive farming It deserves
careful consideration. One of our university
professors contends that only a big farm can be
economically operated. This is true from his
standpoint, which contemplates the installation
of all the costly machinery required- for farming
operations on a large scale, and which machinery
must be steadily employed .in order to return a
profit ' But the point is that a amall tract will
not only produce a living for its owner, but will
also furnish a profit if it be managed with pru
dence and industry. The man with a few acres
is as truly independent today as ever, if he but
apply himself to his work.
' Thank from the Filipinos.
Burton Harrison, democratic governor general
of the Philippines, congratulates our senator on
bis "victory" in behalf of the Filipinos, and as-'
sures him the people of the islands are grateful
for what he has accomplished. The probabilities
are the people of the islands know nothing whst
evei about the matter, being blissfully ignorant
of the meaning of the Hitchcock bill as it be
comes law. - The Filipinos have been fed up by
democratic politicians, both in the United States
and the Philippines, with promises of immediate,
if not sooner; freedom, independence and the like.
Native schemers had been led to believe that the
installation of a democratic administration over
here meant removal at once of all restraint placed
by the presence of the United States, that (hey
might enter a campaign of spoliation, sure to end
In seizure of the islands by a stronger power.
Democrats on this side aided and abetted these
in their dreams of loot, and now seek to save
their faces by the passage of a law that gives the
Filipino nothing he has not already. The Hitch
cock bill is another example of sham and hpoc
riiy making as sincerity. 'When it actual mean
ing is understood our senator will have little
reason to felicitate himself on his achievement.
Pacific coast cities propose to fight to the last
ditch for their reduced freight rates based on
water competition. San Francisco takes the lead
by appealing to the courts, alleging that the In
terstate Commerce commission "has no constitu
tional power to raise railroad rates once the rates
have been lowered by' water competition." The
contest promises a fine display of the hair-split-ting
talent of the beneficiaries of a good thing.
, War order profits to the amount of $1,500,000
have been 'donated to the city of Wilmington,
Del., for various public institutions, including a
college and a civic center. Whatever taint the
money contains will hot long survive the purify
ing power of the common good. ,
, Before going home for a six weeks' rest mem
bers -of the British Parliament voted to extend
their terms of office another seven' months. Few
war measures command greater unanimity than
this, . .'.;,,- ,
Itis safe to say tliat the report of the Clan-na-Gael
having oversubscribed the latest war
loan of "the kingdom of Great Britain and Ire
land" is the invention of an enemy
ITOIVAV
Thought Nugget for the Day.
Our brains are seventy-year clocks. The an
gel of life winds them up once for all, then closes
the case and gives the key into the hand of the
Angel of Resurrection. Oliver Wendell Holmes.
One Year Ago Today in the War.
Austrians occupied Kovel.
Russian troops occupied Konarzy mountains,
in the Caucasus,, after hard fighting.
German captured Brest-Litovsk, key to Rus
sia's second line of defense on Bug river.
This Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
The Commercial National bank is now under
the direction of A. P. Hopkins, who has hereto
fore acted as cashier. W. G. Maul is vice presi
dent and exercises a fatherly interest in the affairs
of the institution.
H. B. Boyles, formerly with J. J. Burns, gen
eral storekeeper of the Union Pacific railroad,
and at present stenographer for Mr. Hodges,
chemist for the Union Pacific, has resigned his
position with the company to accept, September
1, the position of principal of Valentine's Short
hand institute in this city. Mr. Boyles has the
reputation of being a first-class stenographer and
will doubtless prove a valuable adjunct to the
institute.
Judge Redick, after his return from California,
to which part of the country he contemplates
moving, states that ia comparison with Omaha
the place was monotonous. "I like variety," said
Mr. Redick, "even if it has to come as a cyclone.
But, you know, if I went I could get back here
two or three times a year, and that would help
along considerably."
At the last regular meeting of the Omaha
Plasterers' union, held August 20, 1886, Frank
McCanna, Albert Carll and Thomas Gardner were
appointed a committee to draft appropriate reso
lutions expressive of regret at the loss and respect
for the memory of James S. Shields, the recently
deceased brother.
John Campbell is preparing to erect near his
residence on Seventeenth and Dodge streets
three-story brick houses. . Ground has already
been broken for the foundations.
Messrs. Thurston, Pritchett and Godwin of
the Omaha bar came in from Lincoln, where they
have been attending court.
Today in History.
1824 Reception in Boston in honor of Gen
eral Lafayette.
1855 Admiral Hugo von Pohl, commander of
the German battle fleet at the beginning of the
present war, born at Breslau. Died in Berlin in
February, 1916.
1856 Daniel Woodson, acting governor of
Kansas, proclaimed the territory in a state of open
insurrection and rebellion.
1866 One hundred and fourteen deaths from
Asiatic cholera were reported in New York City
during the week ending with this date.
1867 Michael Faraday, one of the world's
greatest scientists, died near London. Born in
Surrey, England, September 22, 1791.
1875 The wild speculation in California
mining stocks reached the climax with the failure
of the Bank of California.
1885 Czar of Russia and emperor of Austria
met in Moldavia.
1888 Famous steamship "Great Eastern,"
after a career of thirty years, beached on the Mer
sey, to be broken up. . . i . '
1897 President Borda of Uruguay was assas
sinated at Montevideo.
1899 rCelebration at Frankfort-on-Main in
honor of the 150th anniversary of the birth of
Goethe. '
1900 Bresci, the assassin of King Humbert
of Italy, was sentenced to life imprisonment.
This la the Day We Celebrate.
Silas A. Hotcomb, formerly governor of Ne
braska, later judge of the supreme court, and now
member of the State Board of Control, is 58 years
old today. He was born in Indiana and located
in Broken Bow, where he was first elected by the
populists to be district judge.
Clark G. Powell, president of the Powell Sup
ply company, was born August 25, 1876, right
here in Omaha. He started out with the Omaha
Electrical Works, but soon landed on Auto Row,
now dealing exclusively in automobile supplies.
Dr. Harry L. Akin, the stomach specialist, is
just 44 years old today. He was born in Leaven
worth, Kan., was educated at the Omaha High
school, Princeton university and Creighton Med
ical college, with a post-graduate course in med
icine in Vienna and Berlin.
K. R. Gould, with the United States National
bank, was born August 25, 1850, in Michigan City,
Ind. He was for many years with the McCor
mick Harvester company, going into the insur
ance business in 1891, and thence into banking.
A. N. Eaton, proprietor of the Nebraska and
Iowa Steel Tank company, is 57 years old today.
He is a native of Quincy, Mass., but came west
years ago and immediately made good.
Sir John Hewett, chairman of the governing
body of the new School of Oriental Studies in
London, born in Kent, England, sixty-two years
ago today.
James E. Martine, who is campaigning for
renomination as United States senator from New
Jersey, born in New York City sixty-six years
ago today.
Blanche Bates, one of the leading actresses of
the American stage, born at Portland, Ore., forty
three years ago today.
Dr. Josepn Silverman, noted New York rabbi
and peace advocate, born in Cincinnati fifty-six
years ago today.
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
National headquarters will be established in
Kansas City today in anticipation of the opening
of the Grand Army encampment
Charles E. Hughes, repuolican nominee for
president, is scheduled to speak tonight at Chey
enne, Wyo.
The International Joint Waterways commis
sion is to begin a series of hearings at Ogdens
burg, N. Y., on measures to prevent the pollution
of boundary waters.
The Farm Loan board, which is to determine,
the locations of the proposed farm loan banks, is
to conduct a hearing today at Lansing, Mich.
Delegates from Iowa, Wisconsin and Minne
sota are to gather today at Racine, Wis., for the
annual conference of. the German Baptist churches
of the ' northwest.
President M. M. Allison of Chattanooga has
called a meeting of the directors of the Dixie
Highway association, to be held today at Detroit.
A three-day celebration at Salem, Ind., in
honor of the Indiana Statehood centennial, is to
be inaugurated today with the unveiling of a
marker at the birthplace pf the late John Hay,
secretary of state, ambassador to Great Britain
and secretary and personal friend ' Abraham
Lincoln.
Storyette of the Day.'
In a certain provincial town where everything
is up to date and the people are always planning
some new schemes, a shocking thing happened.
One of the popular society women announced
"white elephant party."
Every guest was to bring something that she
could notjind use for and yet too good to throw
away.
.The party, however, would have been a great
success but for the unlooked-for development
which broke it up.
. . Eleven of the nineteen women brouvht their
i husbands. San Francisco Chronicle.
Federal Regulation
Already Controlling
'Wall Straat Journal-
Had not me negotiations between
the train employes' brotherhoods and
tht" railroads distracted public atten
tion from every other aspect of the
tranHportatlon problem, the country
would perhaps have paid more atten
tion to several recent rate decisions of
the Interstate Commerce commission.
As a result of these deeislons, great
strides have been made toward mak
ing federal regulation of railroad rates
supreme and putting the state com
missions in a condition of innocuous
desuetude.
In fact If these decisions are up
held by the courts, state-made rate
systems will In the near future be a
thing of the past.
Within the last three or four weeks
the commission has published its de
cision in the Missouri Klver-Nebraska
cases, In a consolidation of cases aris
ing out of the original Shreveport case
and in a case brought by the Business
.Men's league of St. Louis to correct
discrimination against St. Louis al
leged to exist by reason of the two
cent passenger fares within the state
of Illinois.
Every one of these cases involved
the Injury to one or more competitive
Jobbing centers Just outside the bor
ders of a state by reason of state-made
rate systems enforced within the state.
In each case the commerce commis
sion prescribed reasonable rates from
the points outside to points within the
state and ordered the railroads to re
move the discrimination against th
outside points existing by reason of
the lower state rates.
In none of these cases did the com
mission find the state rates unreason
able, because confiscatory, although In
at least one the-state authorities en
deavored to force the commission Into
such a declaration if It found against
the state rates. If the commission had
done so, the foundation would have
been laid for a long struggle in the
courts over the proof of confiscation.
What that would have meant every
one knows who has even so much aa
read the supreme court decision in the
Minnesota rate case. There are good
authorities for the view that it is
practically Impossible to show by af
firmative evidence the confiscatory
character of any one group of rates,
no matter how low they may be.
In one decision disposing of the, Mis
souri Klver-Nebraska cases the com
mission fixed maximum rates from
Sioux City, Council Bluffs, St. Joseph,
Kansas City, Atchison and other out
side points to destinations within the
state of Nebraska as reasonable. In
general these were about on a level
with the existing rates, though iiLSome
cases small reductions were made. It
then ordered the railroads to desist
from discriminating against these
points and in favor of Omaha, Lincoln
and other Nebraska Jobbing centers
by granting the latter lower rates for
similar distances. The existing rates
within the state are those fixed by the
Nebraska commission, on an average
something like 20 per cent less than
the Interstate rates. While the com
mission cannot fix minimum rates and
cannot therefore, directly order the
railroads to charge the rates it has
fixed as reasonable maximum, Its or
der to remove the discrimination is,
believed by Interstate commerce law
yers to dispose of the Nebraska state
scale.
In the Shreveport case the Louisiana
commission was the complainant
against rates made by the Texas com
mission which gave Texas distributing
points a decided advantage In dis
tributing -goods into eastern Texas
over Jobbers at Shreveport La. In
this case the commission decided
against the Texas rates more than
two years ago and ordered the rail
roads to remove the discrimination
against Shreveport fixing a scale of
rates out from Sheveport cons derably
above the state rates reaching the
same destinations from Texas points.
The Texas commission appealed to
the commerce court and the supreme
court, both of which upheld the fed
eral commission. Because of various
complications the latter suspended the
effectiveness of Its first order. It has
now fixed a new scale of rate" from
Shreveport to Texas 'PotnU which .are
in general below the existing rates,
butsomewhat higher than it had pre
viously fixed and substantially higher
than the Texas state rates for similar
distances.
In the third case the commission
has ordered the railroads operating in
Illinois and reaching St Louie to re
move the discrimination against St.
Louis caused by the two-cent fares
within the state of Illinois, which are
cons derably lower than Interstate
fares from St. Louis to Illinois , points
The commission, following Its decision
of a few months ago in the western
passenger cases, fixes 2.4 cejvts a mile
as a reasonable maximum.
Inasmuch aa the .legal qneaUoM in
volved have been fought through the
courts already, it la expected that the
railroads will proceed to comply with
the commission's orders In these cases
by disregarding the state rates and
Dutting their intrastate charge, on
the interstate basis.' . Whether under
Ihl drcumstance. the state or federal
courts will enjoin them from doing so
at the petition of state commissions
rTacurlousbeincTdnent of the Missouri
River-Nebraska cases was the appear
ance of Clifford Thorne, chairman of
the Iowa commission, on behalf of
lowa and Kansas Cities and In opposi
lon to the Nebraska state-made rates.
TIPS ON hOMii l OPICS.
PltUbow Dlapatch: Can't aorae f Hand of
humanttr coma along Wlt a sabaUttlte for
hraadT
Phlladalphla Ledger: The FUlplnoa to raad
tna that praambla ahoold ramamber that tha
damoaratic party propo. and tha republican
party diapoaaa.
Mlnnaapolla Journal: If you are dlacour
aged about tha heat, remember for a moment
that tha Chrlatmaa number of tha magmainea
are already "mada up."
Pltttburfh DlepaUb! Bryan eubmita that
tha eampaisn talke of Hushea ahoar him
"much too blaaad for the aupreme bench.
But he's an the stump now.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A battle crulaer
cost! 120.000, 0ie and only laata a few yeara.
Tha Daniah Weat Indies coat I26.0OS.0O0 and
will be there for euita aoma time.
Boaton Tranacript: We - father from
Brother Bryan'a denunciation of Mr. Hughea
Detroit apaech that he really doeen-t belieee
In deaervlng democrat getting what they
deaerve after all. '
Chicago Herald: Tha widow of tha late
Senator Palmer haa left a Urge bequeet to
eatabllah a achool to train glrla to ha moth
ara. It will have to be rarely efficient to
turn out anything to beat moat of the moth
era now practicing tha profeaaion.
Philadelphia Bulletin: Ia Senator J. Ham
Lewia tha duly appointed and reeognlied da
fender af tha preaidentt The belated derlva
tlon of "too proud to fight" beare all tha
ear-marlte of authority even If delivered in
the tones of pink-whickered oratory.
St. loula Republic: Who can withhold
admiration from Holland t Since tha war
began that little country, with Ite mora than
S.000,000 people on 12,100 equare mllea, haa
found room for about 1,000.000 Belgian ret
ugeee, of wham about 06,000 remain after
two yeara of war. ,
New York World: Tha Western Union
Telegraph company la about to abolteh Ha
package-dellvery eerviee because of "a fam
ine of bora." Voung America, tt eaema, la
turning from thia onoa eoveted vocation to
employment In munition factories. Tha
change in Juvenile ambition may aerva aa one
among other elane that American youth ia
nit loalng tte alertness ar dulling lta aya
to tha main ahanea. .
JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY.
He haa ealted llre'a ocean liner
Far acroaa the ahoree of time;
In departing leavea behind him
Plngerprinta on heart and mind.
How we love hta almple message.
Childhood joya of life retold
Like a web, and aa the aplder,
Winda he round our hearta to hold.
How the little blrda will mlaa him
As they alng their morning lay.
When they know the pen and notebook
Haa been gently laid' away.
Slelodlea In tonea of aadneea,
Though the day dawna bright and
new.
Die away In consultation.
"Ho la gone we alng to who?"
How the aunahlne fain would linger
With the ahadowa while they play'
On the cheek where pearly teardropa
Time alone will clear away.
Prom the trees and in-the atillneaa
Of the night (tears start anew)
Hh, sh the night owls doleful pleading
Seems to cry, "1 call t'whoo?"
Wild the wind In fevered frenzy
Kushlng matliy on and on.
Thoughta like theBe, the wild wind rag
ing, "He is gone, forever gone."
Through the trees the breezea whisper
To the one they loved and knew.
Kissing now the Hps cold waxen,
8lghlng. "Wo shall apeak with
woo oo?"
Ton shall live, James Whitcomb Riley,
Ago and youth will guard thy name;
Piping bards in classic rhythm
Sing the live which guards thy
famu.
Let the poet, almple. humble.
Sing among the classic few,
Though they pipe In broken meter,
'Tts their best they give to you.
Omaha. MAUD KELLY.
LAUGHING GAS.
Husband Now, my d ar. tell me Juat
what you absolutely need for tha house.
Wife We need a new Bcrvlng table, a set
of dining room chairs, a front hall rug and
at least two evening gowns. Puck.
15 MRWMiH A IfJTTWYf
-A BVACKSMrrH
VJfrH Alt THOoE YWSESUOES
CHANCE It I WtKEDUJ
"Why la that pig always trying to get
Into my room?" Inquired tho lummer board
er. "Io you think he has taken a fancy
to mV'
"IV m hit room dnrlng th winter," whis
pered the hired man cautiously. Loula vtlle
Courier Journal.
"See here, you old rascal, why didn't you
tell me this horse was lame before I bought
him?" ,
"Wall, tho feller that sold him to me
didn't say nothln' about It, so I thought it
was a sec et'-r Pittsburgh Dispatch.
"My good man, will you kindly explain
the good points of your car? If they are
sufficiently impressive I may purchase."
'The good point about this car," stated
the agent briefly, "Is that we can let you
have a car this season. You won't have to
wait until next season."
The stranger gasped and Intimated fee
bly that he would place an order. Indian
apolis News.-
Boosey Bill Ones I was In a fair way of
makln' a fortune. But a labor-saving de
vice ruined me.
The Other Boosey lazily) Speak on,
Macduff.
Boosey BUI 1 was getting on nicely as a
barman In a pub, when the boss bought a
cash register. Ideas.
"I understand that skirts are going to be
longer," remarked the observant cltlsen.
''That's good," replied thetired business
man. "Maybe next season I can go to a
musical show without I. taglnlng I'm look
ing at a plain, evsryday street parade."
Waahinston Star.
Penitentiary Guard Convict 411 1 not In
his cell, sir!
Warden That's all right! He's still hunt
ing for the ball he lost on the links this
afternoon! Life.
"Why did you pick out that fellow to mar
ry, girlie? Nobody can see anything In
him."
"I discovered that tha mosquitoes ' al
ways bite him when we are out together. I
consider Mm a handy man to have around."
Baltimore American.
Despairing Yoman
Now Happy Mother
Mrs. Stephens Did Not Need
Hie Surgical Operation.
Patoka, 111.-" I had been married
five years and my greatest desire was
I to become a mouer.
The doctor said I
never would have a
child unless I waa
operated on for
female troubles and
I had given up all
hopes when a friend
told me of Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vege
table Compound. I
took it regularly for
sometime, and I am
In better health than ever, and have a
healthy bsby girl. I praise your Vege
table Compound for my baby and my
better health. I want all suffering
women to know that it is the sure road
to health and happiness. "Mrs. George
Stephens, R. F. D. No. 8, Patoka, III.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound is so successful in overcoming
woman's ills because it contains the
tonic, strengthening properties of good
old fashioned roots and herbs, which act
on the female organism. Women from
all parts of the country are continually
testifying to its strengthening, curative
influence.
It has helped thousands of women
who have been troubled with displace
ments, inflammation.ulceration, tumors,
irregularities, periodic pains, backache,
that bearing down feeling, Indigestion,
and nervous prostration.
II llllllllliillll III
Need a Laxative?
Don't take a violent purgative. Right
the sluggish condition with the safe,
vegetable remedy which has held pub
lic confidence for over sixty years.
BEEGWS
PILLS
Leneet Sale tt Ae, Marficiaw h Ilia Werli.
SaM ererrvraere. In Wxae. 10a 13a.
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
,FINLAYEc'oT;.-
' IPa and latUsna a. Kansas City, Mo
i-.nlv rhnol of the kind In the west. Slec
tnoal. lUam. su. auto, tractor sngisMr
Two and three months, year and two-rest
l Day and night smion Enroll any Urn
Gall tlthsr pbon. or writ for Information.
CENTRAL COLLEGE
f For Woman, Lexington, Mo.
Aa Aeeratlted tailor Calleaa. Karaaa WiBjir
e.t Woman's CoUyae. UfERAEY. SCTEhTmC.
hosiclabi' Expression ana oomestic
8CIENCS. Eieeetloael famltr. Lew tuill with
nurbaaadrartaaee. CetaloasaJ View Boot isent
FREE. AddresaTl.aI.WlU.WMe,.l.e.a.,
THE KEARNEY MILITARY ACADEMY
TWENTY-FIFTH
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
LORETTOCOLLEGE
AAW rttAiifcUl
n Kite i UK isKi. us. sr. luiw, mo.
A UtmidiD. nti u school for atlrlj
and uu!u Jdia. I rider direction of
.-men ui Luretto at Kenimkv. Hsu
,nr cum mi IB Collene. Academic an-1
I'reparaitirv. ('onsriaainr of Mufh1.
dpecta. Urisrtmcnts. rtrtproot bul-d-.nut,
nsauiifu. surroundlnxs. rof ewts-
!. aridm M. thrr Nmierlor Dept. U.
Whsifssr (ir-sos I-mila.- Mo.
hsaBMBBJHHaaMBiisasaattTiMMaHVHH! I
KEARNEY,
AIM:
LOCATION l
EQUIPMENT,
FACULTY!
COURSES)
ATHLETICS t
CATALOGUE!
NEBRASKA. TWEHTY-nr in lua.
To pro ride thontwh mental, moral ana pnreieu irammii ai ui
loweat terms consistent with , efficient work.' For bora from
to IS. Chart..: SS60.SS. '
Two milea from Kearney, in the Platte Valler.
SS acres of land. Pour buildinas. Grmnaeinm. swimming
pool. Separate lower achool buUdinj.
College rradaates with buainesa experience.
College preparatory; commercial law and bualness metnode;
manual training; mechanical drawing; agriculture and animal
husbandry.
Football, baseball, basketball, track, tennis, awimm'ng.
caliathenlc.
Addreaa Harry Roberta Drummcnd, Rea'dmaster.
'EFFICIENCY IS THE TEST OF EDUCATION."
l"unbeat
of Ri
Unbeatable Exterminator
of Rat. Mice and Buos
'it tha World Over - Used by lI.S.Govwrnmamt
Tha Old e Tht Never Falls - ie.25e.Af Druggist
THE RECOGNIZED STANDARD-AVOID SUBSTITUTES
Bee
Have vouk
PHOTOS RETOUCHER
They will maKe belter
aaaawfj
Photo-Entgraveq piaies
Dee fcndravmc; wopT.
KRirU as IV 1 MTT llAiLf IT
lUildinfl- Omaha.Nebr.
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really successful.