THE OMAITA SUNDAY REE: FEBRUARY 20, 191G.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEE
FOUNDRD BT EDWARD ROSKWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
The Dm Publishing: Company, Proprietor.
PES BUILDING, FARNAM AND TETEVTrTgNTH.
Kntm4 at Omilit poetofflce second-class matter.
TERMS Or BUBSCrtlPTloN.
Br rmrrlr By mall
par month. per yr
Jallf sad Pond e W "
anally without Sunday.... fic 00
Wonlpff and Sunday "c "?
Kwwiing withom Sunday &e J
Sunday Bee only 20c . JOS
INtllT ana funoey nee. Tnree yeare in anrr
Semi notice of charge of address or complaints of
Irregulsrltv in delivery to Omaha life, Circulation
Jwpurtment
REMITTANCE!.
Remit by draft, express or postsi order. Only two
rent postage etamna received in payment of smsll ac
counts Personal checks, except on Omaha and eaatarn
exchange, not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Be Building
Wrath Omaha WW N atreet.
Council Hluffs 14 North Main atreet.
Uncoln ? I.lttla Building.
Chicago 0I Hearst Building
New Tork Room II. JM Fifth avantie.
Pt. lunula MS New Kanh of Commerce.
Washington 725 Fourteenth Pt., N. W.
CORRE8PONDENCB.
Address communications relating to nw anil edi
torial matter to Omaha lira, tentorial Department.
" JAM AKV HUN DAY CIRCULATION,
47,925
Plata of Nebraska. County of Touglas. aa :
lwlght Williams, elrrulatlon inanairer, says that
the average Sunday circulation for the month of
Januarv, iil. 47.S2S
JJWIGHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to before
ma this 3tl day of F -bruarv. 11.
KOUKHT ULSTER. Notary Public.
Subscribers leaving the city temporarily
should have The IV mallcl to them. Ad
dress will be changed aa often aa requested.
Not a very good day for libel suits at either
end of the line.
Still, the ordinary officeholder cannot help
admiring the efficiency of a reformer'a nerve
in putting over a fee grab.
ir the Persians arc doing any fighting for
hearth and home, war bulletins arc painfully
alow n spreading the newa.
Talking about pro tea ting against an Investi
gation Into perjury and aubornatlon of perjury,
It Is tha bit bird that flutters.
Commission government Is stamped as a
failure In Memphis. Changing tha name does
not alter tha Internal working of a political
machine.
That Libel Suit.
Aa a rule the public la not Interested in prl-
' vat litigation, particularly In libel suits
brought against a newspaper. But there Is
more In the suit which has lust resulted in a
handsome vindication of The Bee than the mere
effort to mulct thla paper in damages, which wa
believe Justifies the more than customary space
we have devoted to the trial.
This suit, let it be known, was Instituted by
a pair of shady characters only aa one of a
series brought by them, through their lawyers,
EKgregating $fiO,000 In claimed damages grow
ing out of their arrest in connection with the
loss of a diamond for which they paid the owner
before being turned loose. The two suits
against The Bee for $20,000 each were not In
stituted until a year after tha arrest, the suit
against the chief of police of Council Bluffs
until a year after the alleged maltreatment of
plaintiff, and the suit against the Council Bluffs
Jeweler nnttl a week before tha statute of lim
itations would have run. Had suits on the
same basis aa thosa against The Bee been In
stituted against the World-Herald, the News
and the Council Bluffs Nonpareil, all printing
accounts of tha arrest the same ai Tha Bee, tha
couple would have accumulated litigation fig
uring up to $180,000, without the slightest ex
cuse for resorting to tha courts for anything.
It Is plain that the law suits started by these
irresponsible were never intended to be tried,
but were brought in the hope of securing, by
settlement, some easy money to be divided with
their attorneys, who had already filed contingent-fee
Hens on the hoped-for Judgments. The
Bee could doubtless have settled these suits for
much less than It has cost us to fight them, but
If fighting them and showing up the system of
shake-down law suits now permitted to flourish
through misuse of our Judicial machinery, puts
a stop to such practices, the money will be well
spent.
Bo long as this system of legal blackmail
continues unchecked, no one against whom a
Judgment can he collected la aafe from faka
damage suits Instigated by shyster lawyers.
This suit of The Bee's haa taken the ltd off of
a scandalous condition which the reputable law
yers of this city should Join with us in rem
edying.
As the primary race develops new colore
and prospects, the brighter grows tha certainty
that entrants will get the exercise and the
spectators the fun.
One of the things Omaha needs, and needs
badly. Is some effective way of running a bunch
of contingent-fee hold-up lawyers out of town
oi making them walk the straight path.
Our coming long ballot object-lesson may
be counted . on to stimulate the short-ballot
movement, for Nebraska again stands to cap
ture the blue ribbon for the longest long Bal
lot on record.
Strange as It may seem, the discovery of the
kingly descent of .Tuan Shi Ka has not Im
pressed Chinese rebels sufficiently to stop
shooting up the country and disturbing the
steep of royal ancestors!
An oratorical exhibit of Henry EatabrookW
"pons astnorum" In Missouri won applause
when It waa explained that no reflection on
tho native mule was Intended.
A more seasonable time could hardly have
been chosen for a convention of eye specialists.
An urgent demand for clearer vision on primary
piospects spplauds the wisdom of preparedness
for the rush.
By all means let us have W. J. Bryan la the
delegate primary race. In these days of ghost
dancing harmony democrats are entitled to ex-
erclse their habit of voting for William. De
rides the party needs leadership that leads.
War debts of Great .Britain, Germany and
France already aggregate $10,000,000,000, and
more to come. By keeping these figures In'
mind the coming American tourist can gauge
the site of his contribution when peace returns.
Dealers In footwear and clothes caution
consumers to prepare for an advance in prices.
The announcement of a reduction In neces
saries promises to be the biggest surprise of
the year, but the prospect Is a poor sporting
proposition.
Help Where It Does Good.
One really practical work undertaken by
some Omaha women will receive the commen
dation it deserves ss the public becomes better
acquainted with Its purposes and processes. It
is the "vocational guidance" for girls, set on
toot by the Associated Collegiate Alumnae, in
which considerable number of the carefully
educated women of the city are concerned. Much
CubHc discussion has been had over the matter
of vocational schools, manual training, the
teaching of domestic science In the public
schools, and not a little of real good haa been
accomplished In this Una. But most of the
effort has hitherto been expended upon the boy,
almost to the exclusion of his sister. She is
now to have her chance, at least so far aa the
advice and assistance of the college and univer
sity trained women who make up the society
interebted can give it to bar. These women
recognise the advantage they have by reason of
more extensive educational training, and a
closer contact with the broader phases of life,
and propose to pass along some of It to the girl
who haa been denied the opportunity they have
enjoyed. 8he will be aided as far aa possible In
selection of vocation, will have experienced
guidance. If needed, and will be belped to make
a proper use of her ability according to her
needs.
This is the purpose of the vocational guid
ance committee of the Associated Collegiate
Alumnae, which Is not a "high brow" organiza
tion. It has been so modestly promulgated that
at. yet few know of It, but It holds great possi
bilities for genuine service.
OLorvdL SyvjtjLrvAJNJUAj-
ttoto Btosswarra.
Wonder Story of the Automobile.
The rise of the automobile business In the
United States 's the most remarkable Industrial
development of our time. Considered In Its
main aspects of Invested capital, manufactur
ing, salesmanship, pleasure-giving and general
utility, the claim is not overstated. It haa
grown In popular favor far more rapidly than
the telephone, and rivalled the moving picture
business in speed of conquest.
Twenty-five years ago the steam automobile
waa as much of a curiosity as the telephone waa
ten years previous. Ungainly In appearance
and clumsy In build. It attracted little attention
and was swamped in the prevailing bicycle
craze. As the latter died away the automobile,
equipped with the gas motor, rose to Us oppor
tunity and presently compelled public attention
by Ita merits and possibilities. Even as late as
1903 only 11,000 automobiles were produced
ir. this country. Last year 893,618 cars and
trucks were manufactured In the United States,
and the proceeds from sales aggregated $891,-778,000.
While the industry Is rated to have begun In
1895, Ita real forward movement la embraced
within ten years, and the actual boom began
with the standardization of machine parts In
1910. The magnitude of the business now taxes
the resources of 70S factories, 27,700 sale shops,
supply stores and repair shops; consumes 900.-
000,000 gallons ot oil and 11,000,000 rubber
tires annually. Not only Is the United States
the largest producer ot automobiles; It Is the
lsrgest consumer, having a total of 1. 490,000
cars In use, or 77 per cent of the world's total.
Ot this number (9,140 are registered In Nebraska.
The potential factors In this wonder story
ot development are three In number: High
quality of cars, salesmanship and advertising,
an Invincible triple alliance, as results show.
The Case for the Neutrals.
Stronger support is being arrayed behind
the case for the neutrala In the matter of rights
on- the blgh seas, and belligerent Impositions
are likely to be curbed to some extent. The
note from the king ot Sweden, asking tor more
active assistance In making effective protests
against British Interference with the malls.
came at a time when the United States Is vig
orously contending against the German pro
gram for submarine warfare. The United
States baa been hindered la Ita dealings with
Great Britain by the German attitude, and
will not for the present be ab'e to go into de
tails on the complaint from Sweden. That
matter will not be put aside, however, longer
than Is required to come to a definite under
standing with the German Imperial government
as to the scope ot the submarines' activities.
That the rights of neutrals to travel and to
traffio between themselves and with belliger
ents Is not to be abridged, because ot the Intro
duction of the submersible 'warship. Is made
clear by the speech of Senator Lodge In the
senate, dealing with the topic. The effort to re
write international law to govern the point has
been abandoned, and It will be Insisted that the
law governing the sea for two centurea be still
observed. To submit to the German proposals
at this time would not only be abandoning recog
nized rights, but would also be unneutral, as
granting to one belligerent something that is
denied another.
The situation Is critical, but not impossible
of solution, and it met with firmness neutral
rights will get recognition so tar Ignored by
the belligerents n both sides.
i L?
Official correspondence shows that Villa
was dissuaded from extorting $300,000 from
an American company In Mexico, and waa sat
isfied with a contribution ot 100.000 tons of
coal. At the current price of steam coal it Is
evident that Villa allowed very little discount
for prompt delivery-
Iff AVE been spending moat of the week in court
in connection with a libel ault brought against
The. Pea by a pair arrested for stealing a diamond
ring, for which they afterwards paid la order to ret
away without proeecutlon. I have had cases In court
from time to time, aa must every newspaper man
fearless enough to fell the truth and to refuse to aub
mlt to a shakedown, and I must aay that thla trial
waa conducted in the beat order of any of them, ex
cept possibly In being long-drawn out. Credit for till
belongs In large part to Judge Graves, coming1 in
from Pender to taka tha pi are. of Judge English, whose
Impreealva manner and wide-awake conduct en the
bench may well bo an example for soma of our own
Judge, and, mind you, I am writing- thla before tho
verdict Is In regardless of what It may be. The Judge
showed that cross-table talk and vocal waste of time
by tha lawyers can be stopped without much diffi
culty. It waa amusing to hear him declare that while
that might be the custom here In the city. It waa
hot tolerated "up In the country where I com from,"
with the further Ironical suggestion that "perhaps
time Is more valuable up there than It la here In
Omaha."
I can't help are I nit, however, whenever T am In
court, thlnsa that aeem calculated to clog rather than
expedite tha wheels of Justice. In tha Impannellln
of the Jury, for example, the attorneys for each side
examine the Jurors one at a time, propounding many
of ihe aame questions to which the answers are more
repetitions. Why could not all thla stock information
about where a Juror resides, how Ions he haa lived
here, his present and previous occupation and all that
ba siren under oath once and for all time and com
piled immediately, ao that tha attorncya would have
It before coming- Into court? And why could and
should not the Judge himself ask the Jurors, all to
gether, the customary questions about knowing the
parties to the ault or their attorneys, or being; pre
judiced against any of them? If thla were dona it
seems to ma It would materially reduce tho time con
sumed In getting a Jury and In no way deprive any one
of any rlghta.
Whan It cornea to the testimony of tha witnesses,
the outsider cannot but sea that the accepted rules
of evidence keep out much that the Jury ought to
know. If the whole Inception and inside of thla par
ticular caa, aa we know It. could ba paraded before
tha Jury, the collapse would have come almost at the
beginning. Put "hear-aay" testimony la not admis
sible not In the face of objection by alert lawyers. -
During his closing argument Attorney Broma mado
this statement with great earnestness: 'I have come
into this case, aa has been aald here, at a late hour
because, and only because, I waa convinced that the
cauae of thla poor woman was Just" When ha aald
that I could scarcely keep my face straight. The
original attorneys In tha case evidently took It on
a contingent fee contract, for they filed liens of $8,0)0
on the prospect. It happens that Harris, dissatisfied
in the same way, want to another lawyer only a
week or two ago and sought to engajr him to help
out in the trial, offering aa Inducement 1300 real
money, payment down. This lawyer did not aaa his
way clear to take the retainer and then Brome ap
peared for the Harrlaaea In court "solely because con
vinced that the cause of thla poor woman waa Just"
While sitting there. X also wondered what would
have happened if Judge Graves had been presiding
in court when theae cases first came up, for there
were two of them, one brought in tha name of the
man and the other in the name of tha woman, and
one of them had been set by stipulation for trial last
November. When the day arrived and we ware ready
with our numerous wltneaaea. the attorney for the
plaintiffs raised a tertiflo rumpus over the stipulation.
Insisting vociferously that K was for the woman's
caae and that he waa there to try her ease, but not
the man's caae, although the two were substantially
Identical. The Judge tben sitting aald the beat Way
to settle that question waa to verify the stipulation,
which he did, finding It to be for tha man's caae,
but rather than try it. tha attorney dismissed It himself
to get away from hla own agreement. Thereupon we
announced to the court that we were ready to try
the woman's caae, she being present, and aa It after
wards turned out the only witness on her aide, but her
attorney who, a few momenta before, waa clamoring
to try that very caae, now was Just aa outspoken that
he waa not ready to try It and would not try It. No
other caae was set for hearing at that time, but under
the circumataneea, the Judge declared he waa help
less to require thorn to proceed, and all the wltneaaea
who had been assembled from Omaha and Council
Bluff a had to be seut back. I waa wondering whethet
Judge Graves, under those circumstance a, would like
wise have said he was helpless against such practice
X want to congratulate Brother Frank A, Kennedy
as editor of The Waa tern laborer en the twenty-fifth
anniversary of that sprightly weekly, which now has
a record of longevity matched by few. If any, labor
papers. The special number he has gotten out In
honor ef the event Is more than creditable and makes
plain the pertinent fact that the change la the condi
tion ef labor In Omaha wrought by the last twenty
five years far surpasses tha wildest dreams of the
days whan Tha Laborer made Ita Initial appearance.
It la my fervent wish, not only that The Laborer and
Its editor make tbe same progress for another twenty-
five years, but that every time the balance sheet on
the condition ef the working claaaea hare Is struck
It may show like progress at even faster rata.
Twice Told Tales
Weald Caalete the Set.
A lady told me, as a true story of a sold tar's wit.
that a soldier In a hospital oa recovering consciousness
said: "Nurse, what Is this en my haedT"
' 'Vinegar clotha." she replied. "You hare had
fever."
After a pauaa:
"And what la this en my ehestr
"A mustard plaster. You have had pneumonia.
"And what la thla at my feetf
"Rait bags. You have had frost bite."
A aoldler from the nest bed looked up and aald
"Hang a pepper bos to hla noae, nurse, than be will
be a cruet" Chicago Newa
Thirty Years Ago
This Day in Omaha
SECTJIAB SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Cleveland ' Plain Dealer: A Syracuse
(N. Y.) preacher has gone to New York
(.V. Y.) for the purpose of, making the
latter town dry- What a beautiful thing
faith Is, after all!
Pittsburgh Dispatch: "Are Dead Men
Alive?" la the theme of a Pittsburgh
minister's sermon. However that may be,
several could be pointed out who are
mooching around unmindful of the fact
they're dead.
Boston Transcript: The celebration Feb
ruary II 'of the eightieth blrthilay of
P.ev. Dr. Washington Gladden may be
regarded as rather more than a mile-
atone In the life of the venerable divine
and author. Hla country haa moved along
with him. For no man living is Intel
lectually more closely associated with the
development of American religious, so
cial and civic thought than Dr. Glad
den. No one has preached to a wider
congregation, and no man's thoughts
hsve found a wider appreciation or come
into more Immediate or complete sym
pathy with the American aspirations.
Brooklyn Eagle: The poor pay of the
more obscure clergymen of all denomi
nations haa long been a matter of re
proach to the churches. If not. In the
cases of the wealthier denominations, a
acandal. Tho condition arose In the most
creditable way possible, from the eager
ness of clergymen to fulfill the com
mand to preach the gospel to every crea-
ure. But with the Increased wealth
of the general church membership It is
high time that these conditions should
be Improved, and the Eplscopallana
have undertaken to remedy the worst
of them, the poverty-stricken and de
pendent old age of clergyman who
have given their Uvea to such small
charges. A pension system has Deen
worked out. unler which each parlsn
wll be assessed T per cent of its min
ister's salary for the fund. This will
provide for the retirement of a clergy
man at ffl year, for pensions ror nis
widow and minor children at his death,
and for himself before St, In caae he la
disabled. t
The river and harbor bill carries a total of
$40,000,000, in round figures, of which
$1,776,000 is booked for tbe Missouri river.
At a distence of a thousand miles it Is impos
sible to detect the odor of fried baron, cer
tainly no in tbe Missouri river s slice.
Compiled fro at Bee roes.
The change of place of Firat National bank be
gan today, tha fixtures being moved serosa the atreet
preparatory to the building of a new building. Tha
removal of the safe required tha services of a small
army of meg with ropea and pulleya.
In self-protection against the new organisation of
city eonstablea, the conatablea outside of the city
met at Wolfe hall at Twenty-fourth and Cuming
streets, and formed a Douglaa County association
with J. R. Ruetln as preatdent and T. W. Kyle aecnt
tary. They will form a hard pool against tha lue
tic shops.
PpecUI Policeman James of tha Law and Order
league sports a new star made especially for him.
Alderman Casey of Peoria, IU.. la la Omaha a few
daya Investigating Omaha's system ef fire alarms
and other public works.
A person with a good second-hand typewriter can
dlsDosa of It to J. B. Hainea Co.
Kggs on the Otuah market at wholraaling at 17
to M cents and creamery butter at 90 cents, with
country butter only half that price.
Herman Kountie Is home again from the south.
Captain John O Donahoe returned to Omaha from
a two months' trip to Ireland and England.
BRIEF BITS OF SCIENCE.
The human body only weighs one
pound In the water.
in nermanv and Austria peat hatha
have become welt established Institutions
within the last few years.
The rtvara of the earth carry t.MO cubic
mllea of water Into the sea each year.
This means a column ten miles square
and slzty-ftve miles high.
The limit of the carrying 'power of
thunder is about fifteen miles, while
thirty, miles is not regarded aa far for
the sound of a big battle to travel.
According to a Finnish scientists, the
air around pine trees la purer than that
around others, because tneir naeaias
disseminate electricity Into the atmos
phere and ozonise it-
an r.nrllsh scientist believes that. If
the radium in the Interior of the earth
i. ntiaJ In ouantltr to that In the sur
face rocks, the world win grow hotter
In time Instead ot colder.
atsrflsh can erow new arms, lobsters
new claws, and llaarda new tails. A. new
iiuH will not . Indeed spring from a
tail, or a new lobster from a discarded
claw, but a new starfish wll grow rrom
s detached arm.
a riTMii window Dane will crawl to
the top, fly back to the bottom and crawl
..n Thla order Is seldom reverses.
It Is en record that a fly crawled up a
window pane Uhlrty-two times, returning
each time a-wlng.
By teaching firemen to handle coal
eientiflcallv. a Hamburg aoleety with
more than BOO members alms to produce
the highest possible efficiency from steam
boilers with the least possible emission
of smoke.
OUT OF THE OEDIUAKY.
tk. man who discovered Pike's Peak
said that it would never be climbed. To
day the topmost point la accessible to au-
tomobllea.
Tha mMtllK hottS In BoltOZt, MtM., Is
to be reshlngled for the first Urn since
its ereotion in 1T9J. Soma of the shingles
are still In a perfect state of preserva
tion after ixl years' service.
TJnvit'a of Tendon have recently Issued
a form of Insurance against appendicitis.
The claims hsve become so numerous
that Loyd's have found It necessary t
double thatr premiums.
ztaoorda of the VWted States pension
aMa show tha total death toll ef vet
erans alnce the close of the war has been
ttl.86. In that period the federal stov-
arnmant haa Paid to veterans, tneir
wtdowg and children M.11.MT.
TTnntAek. a loneaoma monkey in the
Central Park boo, New York, waa miser
able untU the curator eonoeived the idea
of taktna- phonographic records of his
whlnnlng chatter. Now Hoolock listens to
bis own talk, thinks I e Has a companion
and la perfectly nappy.
Rarh with a theoretical 1500. alrla of
tha home economlra class at Whitman
college. Walla Walla, wash., started out
to buy furniture and household supplies
for a house of six rooms. The class
vintted atorea of tha city and then made
out the Hat They endeavored to be a
economical aa possible, but found that
SMO hard te stretch over sis rooms.
AHOTJin) THE CITIES.
Denver's publto library and bran oh ea
loaned T1I.SM books last year.
Louisville Is ta the thick of a hustling
campaign for the wherewith to build a
$300,000 auditorium.
Work Is to start on the county eourt
house at Btoux City next week. Tho
contract price for the building la WW. SOS.
In proportion to population of tha
cities. Cleveland has the largest number
of telephonea and New Orleans the few-
eat
Boetontans using a new invention, the
oscillograph, tha other day were able to
hear the surf beating on tha rocks at
Oolden Oat. San Francisco.
Minneapolis la about to put on tha
market bonds totaling fl.ltt.ono, the pro
ceeds to be devoted to new schools, park
Improvements and other city projects.
Ft. Joe on the Missouri la already
hustling for tha f&O.Ouo to clnch a federal
appropriation, of a IUe sum to keep the
river from breaking Into Lake Contrary,
Dea Moines gets the biggest boost of
all cities in the state eengua. The city Is
given a population ot 106, J In IMS, a
gain of 3 per cent over the federal cen-
aua of 191.
Spokane's Civil Service commission.
after debating the type of woman best
aulted for police work, aettled upon theae
requirements Height between five feet
and five feet ten tr.rhea, age limit 35
yeara. weight between US and (no pounds.
the latter figure being necessary to In'
aura "large, queenly shape."
1
People and Events.
Linoleum la pushing to tha front as a
aubstltute for leather In the warrlnff
countrlee. Although It will continue
under foot the prloe will take the elevator.
statistics from a fsshlonable eastern
woman's college. Intended te refute the
charge of extravagance, show Individual
expenses ranging from 1360 to ll.SjO. or
an average of which Isn't much con
sidering the aviation of living cost
City Chamberlain Henry Bruere of New
York City regards his Job as superfluous
and sent In his resignation to take ef
fect May 1. The Job pays $12,000 a year.
Gotham politicians consider Bruere beat
fitted for a place In the Metropolitan
museum.
The strong-arm squad of tha profes
sional beggara of New York is a real
live Institution. Two of the squad
Jumped on a citizen who had refused
them money and beat him up. But he
had the grit to stay with them until the
police took them In.
The most effective examDle of nniuut.
ness brought to light since preparedness
capture a Lncie Sam's goat was nulled
In Alabama. A convict
rain, taking with him tha kev to hand.
cuffs, the warden's clothes, a revolver
and $J7D of his guard's money.
reminder of the lata F. Aua-ustua
Helnze, the noted ccier kins- of Rntt
Mont., cornea from New Tork In the form
an affirmed Judgment for $1.M4.M.2,
off
of
awarded Edwin Gould against the Holnse
estate. The ludimnnt r,nrunm. k-
price of bank atock purchased en credit
by Helnze when he broke Into the bank
Ing game In New York ten years ago.
The bright particular Star of then rniinrv
board of Cook county which means Chi
cago, Is the Hon. Barney Grogan. Barney
Is somewhat shy as a vocalist, but he
shines otherwise. "I ain't much of a
speaker." he explained to a crowd f ad
mirers, "but I'm pretty smooth with the
ciuds." Thereupon he swung the Indian
dubs with aU the skill of an expert and
won more applause than a professional
spieler.
WHITTLED TO A POINT.
Why Is It that so few married women
have the gum habit T
If you stand op for yourself others
can't sit down on you.
The Portuguese language la used bv
about 10,000.000 persona
Brotherly love aa practiced by moat
men isn't even platonlo.
A man would rather be last than first
in a funeral procession. .
Politicians are always trying to save
the country at IU own expense.
Some men no sooner gat a Job than
they begin to klok for a day off.
NO woman can wear a new dress with
out In some way advertising Its newness.
Job was a patient man who never had
occasion to telephone when the tine was
busy.
As money-getter the self-made man
may not class with the machine-made
politician.
Tact Is what a woman uses who can
propose to a man In such a way that
he believes he did It himself.
A student of human nature says that
many a man becomes a loafer because he
is too light for heavy work and too
heavy for light work. Chicago News.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTBIES.
Oo" said the girl. "I wssh my hands
"'ii.fnra von do anv hand-washing, bet
ter take off that ring I five you." be re
torted, frigidly. Boston Transcript.
"Brevity Is the soul of wit." observed
tbe Bags. .... .
"Mavhe." repll-d the fool, "hut I
feel very witty when I am short. 'Mil
waukee Sentinel.
'How did Crimson Gulch happen to
vote for prohibition?"
well. " replied mree r ina-r m.
M...... n kv, vrtt 1 1 red of OW1H
money to the aaloona that they thought
the best thing to do was to put em out
of business." Washington ftar.
T thla land rich?" asked tbe pros
pective purchaser, cautlousl y.
"It certainly ought to be. replied tha
Rentleirmn-farmer. "I have put all tne
money 1 had into it. nicnmnnu jun-o-Dispatch.
r n..vj.,h Inlif rilaved nn her
psrty for all It was worth."
How nowr
"She announced that she waa going to
plve It. She announced that she did give
1 ...l.k II. nr cninat. Now tlr llttlt
dsttghter tells all about It In a letter to
. . . i 111.
tne i nunren a page. uouiavmv i.vunvi-
journai.
wi-o ' this Miss Chlseldlne Flubdub
who sends In an account of some affair?
i never neard of her in society."
"Well. VI v she's a Crclned favorite in
the circle in which she moves." Pitts
burgh Post.
At a domestic economy lesson in Chi
cago a young matron was asked hy the
lecturer to state brl-fly the best way to
keen milk from souring.
After some reflection the yvting woman
replied:
"Leave it In the cow." New Tork
Times.
"What profession 1o you think your
boy Josh will choose?"
"Law," replied Farmer Comtossel.
"Josh kin talk louder an' longer when
he's got the wrong side of an argument
thsn anybody I ever heard." Washington
Star.
A WOMAN'S SHORTCOMINGS.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
Sha has laughed softly as If she sighed,
She hss counted six, and over,
Of a purse well filled and a heart well
tried
Oh. each a worthy lover!
They "give her time." for her soul must
slip
Where the world has set the grooving:
Bhe will He to none with her fair red
lips.
But love seeks truer loving.
She trembles her fan In sweetness dumb.
As her thoughts were beyond recalling;
With a glance for one and a glance for
some
From her eyelids rising and falling:
Speaks common words with a bashful
air.
Hears bold words, unreprovlng;
But her silence says what she never
will swear
And love seeks better loving.
Oo, ladyl lean to the night guitar.
And drop a smile to the brlnger:
Then smilo aa sweetly when he Is far.
At the volcn of an Indoor singer.
Bask tenderly beneath tender eyes.
Glance lightly, on their removing;
And Join new vowa to old perjuries
But dare not call It loving!
Unless you can think, when the song is
done.
No other la soft In the rhythm:
Unleaa you can feel, when left by One,
That all men else go with him:
Unless you can know, when upraised by
hla breath,
That your beauty itself wants proving:
Unless you can swear, "For life, for
death!"
Oh. fear to call it loving!
Unless you can muse In a crowd all day
On tha ahaent face that fixed you;
Unless you can love, aa the angels mav.
With the breadth of heaven betwixt
you; .
Unless you can dream that hla faith Is
fast
Through behoving and unbejiovlns:
Unless you can die when the dream ii
past
Oh, never call It loving!
TOWN DRIVING
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is distinguished by a supe
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The twelve-cylinder motor yields a full,
even flow of power at all speeds, a greater
range of ability on high gear, an instanta
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softer action in all situations. '
The car's low, graceful lines and luxurious
appointments accentuate and complete a
pleasurable content
The narrowed fore-frame permits shorter
turns, a real advantage in thronging traffic;
while the powerful brakes act positively,
but gently and without jar.
ORR MOTOR SALES COMPANY
Farnam & 40th St: Omaha, Ntbratkm
How Do You Know
IIow long you will be insurable! Why not let the
Woodmen of the World
Relieve your mind by issuing a Certificate in favor of
your wife and babies? NO CHARGE for explanation.
CALL DOUGLA3 1117.
J. T. YATES, W. A. FEASER,
Secretary. President
-J)
