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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 2, 1916)
t 2-C nre qmaha suxday wa:-. January 1'jk; THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE rplTNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATKR. VICTOR ROSEWATKR, EDITOR. The) Bee Publishing Company. Proprietor. fcEE BUILDING. FARNAM AND BKVKNTEENTH. Eatered at Omaha poitofflee second-class matter. TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION. Br carrier By mail pr month. per year. Dally anil Sunday fee W Dailv without Sunday....' c J-"j Icvenlng and Sunday e"'c !!j Kvenlng without Sunday J Sunday Bee only c v.": . gend notice of change of eddreae or complaints of Irregularity In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation Department. REMITTANCE. Remit by drift. express o- postal order. Only two rent postage atamrs received In payment of email ee counta. Persoael rneeka, except on Omaha and eaatarn exchange, not accepted. O y K1 ' y S. Omahe-Tbe Bee Building South Omaha 18 N atreet. Council Bluffa 14 North Main atreet. Lincoln 3 Little Building Chicago M Hearst Ruiidtng New Tork Room INK Fifth avenue. ft Loule-M". New Bank of Commerce. WaeltUigton 736 Fourteenth St.. N. ,W. CORRESPONDENCE. Address enmmunlratlrns relstlns to nawa and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. 47,352 .NOVKMKKR SVXDAV CIIUl LATIOX, Ftati of NehrssVs. County of Douglas, as.: Dwleht Wll'lam. circulation pianascr. nave that the average Sunday circulation for th. month of November. 1 1 6. wan 47,jrii. DWIOHT W1LLIAM. Circulation Mansger. Subscribed in my presence and aworn to before me this 2d rtav of December. lli. ROBERT HUNTER. Notary Public. Sobecribrrs leaving (he city temporarily should have The IVc mailed to them. Ad dress will he changed a often as reqneated. January Thought for the Day Stttcttd by Ortttlm 5. ChitCndtn h all tht crowded univertt Then it but on ttupendout vord, Lovt, Thtrt it no tree that reart itt crttt, JV fern or flower that cleavet tht d yor bird that tingt above it$ neat. Hut fries to tpeak thit word of God. -J. 0. IMUnd. -.J Slogan for 1916: Look forward, move for-vsrd. A sihe of Omaha Teal estate rightly located I. us the Klondike beaten seven ways. AuntrU accepts the American note without discount or unnecessary delay In settlement. Don't n ind the Jolting, but hold onto the Ron. and you'll find the riding quite smooth In time. Oenen 1 von Hlndenburg gays peace Is not l.i sight. This is expert testimony with the bark on. Pretty soft for Brother-ln-Law "Tommy" Allen, bu: what's the use of having a pull If you tan't pull it? The d Mil on Rum certainly got some swat as .t New Year'sremlnder of the uncertainty of things In this life. , The California publicity bureau must have been asleep, at the switch when the story of snow and freezing weather slipped over the wires. A new crop of prophecies Is coming with the beginning of the year, and they are all about aj good A4 those made last year or the year before. Latst year's record, of progress In Omaha Is a mighty Incentive to greater endeavors during the coming year. Plenty to do may be found la any direction. Why go to California? An equally tine grade of winter weather, the same quality of snow an1 ftost, may be had with all the comforts of home at. less expense. The real quality of a New Year halo is not to be determined In a day or a week. The acid t Kt of succeeding months la needed to fix the durability of the goods. A distluct upward trend of wages signalises the new ; ear in various sections, particularly In New York where 200,000 wage-workers secure increases. Gratifying as the uplift Is to the bene ficiaries :t Is far from equaling the old year's increase In the cost of living. Gasoline at a Eevenue Irritant. Soaring prices of gasoline are becoming a tlally annoyance to t e administration as well ac the consumer. In the last six months prices Lave advanced steadily until an average of t iait a gallon has been added to the cost. In the middle west the advance almost doubles the cost during the first half year, and those who control the. product appear confident that the pressure from below Is not exhausted. The situation af fords little comfort for the automobile multi tude and other users, who are obliged to stand aud deliver. To the government the bull market la embarrassing to a degree and open Indignation Manifests itself In two projected Investigations. The government's Interest In the oil market Is keener than that of the consumer. It needs It for tax purposes. The annual consumption of r.asollne, estimated at 1,500,000,000 gallons, taxed at the rate of 1 rent a gallon would ma terially lighten the deficit and contribute sub antally toward the coming defense bills. As a source of necessary revenue It is highly esteemed and commands the cordial approval of the ad ministration. But ao long as the producers take "air the traffie will bear" and some over, the government scents danger If It presses the last straw on gasoline camel. Possibly a safe way will be discovered by the investigators. The trade commission proposes t j search for the cause. If any. In the relation of supply to demand. Should that tall to produce imiUKfactory results, the Department of Justice may be depended on to develop a combine "in ntra!nt of trude'' and frighten It Into a reduc tion which will admit the federal tax without producicg a chock at the ballot box. New Responsibilities. An unavoidable and not altogether tinwel icme development of the war has been the awakening of the American people to a better nense of their International responsibilities. Any thing thst would serve to stir this nation from Its lethargy was of Inestimable service. While not entirely self-centered or self-righteous, the great msss of the American people was Inclined to pay too little attention to things going on out side their immediate vicinity. World problems, the complexity of international relations and the part we should play In the big affairs of human 11 y were taken as a matter-of-course and with out the serious consideration essentially neces sary to proper participation. It was enough to know that we were the lesders and that all ethers miaht follow if they chose, else thoy could go their own way and "we should worry." Events have provided the bump necessary to Jar us Into s fuller appreciation of the responsi bilities of leadership. Having assumed the front position In the march of civilization. It devolves upon us to so demean ourselves that others, see ing our worthiness, will eagerly accept our pre cept snd pattern after our plan. With the slough ing off of the Integument of indifference that has screened from us the wider view of human affairs, we are now in a better position to de termine and act. Having fully descried the mote in our brother's eye,1 we may pay a little attention to the beam in our own. This does not Imply any extensive or Inclu sive unworthlness for the claims we make to leadership. It merely Indicates the inefficiency of methods we have adopted to prove these rlslnis. Signs of recognition of our failure are many, and willingness to. remedy the causes of thin failure Is generally apparent. It is good for the future of the republic that this is so. Courts Instead of War. One attractive feature about the program of the World Court league, which has Just been formally launched in New York, is that It holds to no visionary schemes for the salvation of man from perils of war. The project of organizing a tribunal on International lines, to be charged n'th the duty and given the power to Inquire into the merits of points of International dispute has long been mooted. Its advocates are men of weighty :nllucnce In the world of affairs, not readily moved by Impulse, and accustomed to carefully weigh and prudently determine all mat ters beforo them. Their advocacy of the pro posal that nations follow the example of In dividuals and have recourse to reason rather than force for the adjustment of differences at least suggests that it is worthy of full consider ation before It Is finally rejected. As a substi tute for war, an International court seems most f astble. Injury in Ordnance Factories. In the annual report of Brigadier General Crosier, chief of ordnance of the United States army, made to the secretary of war, are found some very impressive figures. In reporting on the operation of the liability act. General Crosier asya: It la believed that existing law mlsht be Improved by changing It ao that payment for time lost through Injury would commence concurrently with the losa of time, and that the payment ahould not be full pay ment, but should leave upon the employe a sufficient part of the burden to constitute an Incentive of re turning to hla work with reasonable permanence. This remark Is called forth by the fact that the law does not provide payment except to those absent over 'fifteen days. In the government ordnance factories during the fiscal year 1915, 1,958 workmen were Injured, 30 of them no seriously aa to be detained from work. Of this number, :i?5 were back within the fifteen-day period, leaving 265 to receive $25,152.99 in com pensation. In six years, the total number of employes in the govarnment'a shops has risen from 6,628 to 7,143, n Increase of about 6 per cent. In that time, the number of injuries to operatives has increased from 286 to 1,956, more than 500 por cent of an increase. The number of men de tained from work by reason of injury has risen from 26 to 630, over 160 per cent increase. The number of men off work because of injury for twenty-flyo days and over has -jumped from forty-six to 114, more than 150 per cent, while lie amount paid on account or disability baa come up from $3,714.7? to $25,162.99, or an in crease of more than 677 per cent In these six jaars. While it is humanly Impossible to perfectly S'feguard Industrial operations and thereby absolutely prevent mishaps. It is certain that the Increases shown in the report of General Crosier Indicate n abnormal condition. If a similar in crease were shown in any plant under private operation, it would speedily be investigated. It nay be that the speeding up of workmen in gov ernment fr.ctories is not chargeable with this re sult, but these factories do not show an increase in output equalling the growth in Injuries and the consequent payment made by the government io Injured employes. Alchemy and Industry. Out of the crucible of war pour steady streams of advantage to man. It is not perhaps creditable to our civilization that for the present at least the activity of the human mind ia gen erally bent to the development or discovery of means for destruction. Yet the researches pur sued are disclosing new sources of energy that will in good time be aa serviceable in peace as they are terrible In war. Knowledge la being brought from the seclusion of the laboratory and applied to industry in so many ways that it would be tedious to undertake to catalogue them all. Science is raising man beyond what seemed to be natural limitations, and his seal in the chase for newer and better ways of doing things and providing for bis wants, is keeping achieve ment close upon the heels of imagination. Aa the thunder storm clearsvthe atmosphere and brings the ozone to stimulate and revive nature on a sultry day, so has the presence of the tre mendous conflict In Europe dispelled the tor pidity of the nations, arousing them from the sluggishness into which they had fallen, and set them to work more energetically than ever on their problems. This much of good bss come from a great deal of evil, that man Is better than ever before qualified to supply his wants and to meet the increasing emergencies 0 existence. OuorvdL S YJbLTvAnJuLsj-6 99 TXOTOB SOIlWlTia NOTHING could make a person reallae the over shadowing and all-pervading character of the anbjpct of war more keenly than the war flavor of the prosrama of the various national and Interna tional learned aocietiea that bwe he-n holding their rcalona In Waahlngton this weik. In theee con sreeeea of "hlsh-browa" supposed to conrentrate the thought of phltoeophera, scientists and economist or in the underlying principles of mun'lsiie life and of the universe, the papers and jfliacusalons return to th great European conflict aa if drawn by a lodeatonc "Probable Changea In Foreign Trade RcultlngxFioiii tlia European War." "Economic Cost of Wav' "Social Value and National Existence." "War anil Militarism In Relation to Women." "Stattstlca of the Food Supply In Oermany," "War and Militarism In Relation to Government," "Can War He Done Away With?" These are acme of the toplca on the ai hedule resting on undisguised war foundation, and the war point of view or the war disturbing factor comes Into play at nearly every turn of th debate of questions on their surface far removed from the war sone. Jt la needless for me to say, I was able to attend bet a few of the meetings and those chiefly of the Ameri can Economic association with which I have kept my affiliation, but I believe the generality or thes conclusions Is justified from what waa likewise observed and reported of the other associations. That the war la to have a reactionary effect and to retard the progress which the civilized world waa previously maklne; seems to be the concensus of thoughtful opinion. The common impression Is that what we have called "Internationalism" Is to on counter a severe setback snd that tlie spirit of "na tionalism" Is to take on new life and new fire. The expectation Is that nations will endeavor ny deliberate policy and all sorts of devices to avoid international Interdependence and, so to apeak, to "go It alone." Yet I caught a peculiar contradiction to thla very Idea In the suggestion that we are now confronted with an exceptional opportunity to extend our foreign trade, especially with South America and the Orient, In a word that at the same moment that all nations are to make themselves self-sufficient, we are t') act forth on a trade conquest that will make certain nations more dependent on us. And every time we sell to any other country we have to buy from that country ao that the dependence la mutual and tn the nature of things must be at least two-aided. Again whllo one set of thinkers are preaching the return to nationalism, the prealdent of the American Historical society was Inveighing sgalnst our narrow national istic teaching of history as a chief cause of conflict and the propagator of national and racial "hatts" which we must get away from for the advancement of a common humanity. News of the sudden death of Victor Caldwell came' as a moat unexpected shock to me as well as to other here who knew htm and grieved over the seemingly premature ending of a eareer so full of achievement and also of promise. Although he waa just enough older to belong In another stratum of boyhood, we grew up together aa native sons of Omaha with that peculiar bond of rtendshtp that develops from long acquaintance and association. I have served with him on numerous committees, bosrds and delegations where his strong personality was always a factor. Reticent and reserved as rule, his views were clear cut and his opinion when formed firmly buttressed and adhered to. Victor Caldwell was the kind of a cltlsen who Is an aaset to a community and whose loss Is more than the loss of an Individual. While In Baltimore, I went down to look at the municipal Christmas tree and witness the community Christmas eve celebration. The tree and Its multi colored Incandescence was beautiful to behold and the songs and band music tuneful and entertaining, but I was greatly disappointed In the comparatively small numbers of onlookers attracted by It. It blasoned forth at the entrance to the city hall with a fairly wide atreet space In front of It and the weather con ditions were favorable, yet It was a rather sparse, crowd that assembled at no time a blockade of either sidewalk or railway. More impressive was the pri vate Illumination of the houses facing Mount Vernon squsre, where they have revived the old custom of placing lighted candles In the windows. Across the sill of each window facing the street were seven lights, the candles being set In sockets held by a board fitting the casing and the curtains drawn back to avoid catching fir and at the same time disclosing to rurloua eutaldera the richly furnished and capacious Interiors of homes st all other times closed to the vfew of all but family Intlmatea.. It la a pretty custom and one that is effectively carried out. Did you not the news of the further projection upward of another Nebraska boy, Burdette O. Lewis, who has been made commissioner of correction In New Tork City, succeeding none other than Kathertne B. Davis, who in turn steps up to a bigger and better paid position as head of the new Board of Parole. Young Lewta, who has been In the municipal aervlce of the metropolis since he graduated from Columbia, has been more lately the chief deputy under Miss Us vis and therefore takes up work already familiar to him and In which he is certain to make good. He la an other transplanted young Nebraskan It will be well for us to keep an eye ea. Washington. Announcement was made of further promotions by the Union Pacirtc: W. F. Orltfltha to be aaalatant general freight agent and Sam C. Nash to be aaalatant general freight agent at Salt Lake City. Omaha lodges of the Independent Order of Odd Fellows have been Installing officers for the new year. Amnaig tha namea la the official roster are: John 1. Totna. J. A. Johnson, O. H. Mayne, Krnest Plulit, Ben Kdhulin, A. J. Hunt, P. Van Nostrand. r U Car penter, J. Dlabrow, J. B. Piper. W. J. Welshaiiga. F. II. Rhodes. Q. A. Bennett and K. V. Cooper. N About S o'clock in the evening a Farnain atreet car broke looae on the grade from Eighteenth to btx teenth atreet and went flying down the hill. Tha driver aet all , brakes, but the wheela alid over the tracks Ilka alelgh-runners, gainlnc momentum each Instant. The driver lit on hia head and was .dragged by the flying horses for two Mocks. Moat or tha paeaengera jumped out and th car kept going until It left the track at the foot of the hill and ran Into a anow drift. Mra. Annie King, assisted by her daughters. Mlsa Lula and Lottie, entertained New Year'a visitors at their residence, 1108 Cass street. y The annual meeting of the Omaha club elected these members of trie board of directors: Arthur C. Wakeley. Free Millard. Guy C. Barton. W. R. Morris, Joseph Garneau, jr.; J. C. CowJIng. lee Funkhouaer. C. U Buelt and J. K. Wilbur. B. C. Ferguson, who has been the stenographer for Kupcrintendent Ijoi ranee of the t'niun Pacific, returned to hla old home In Virginia, where will remain permanently.' - Wha la Mam Draakt court at Satom. N. J., wrestled with expert testimony oa the queetiuna, "when Is a man drunk" for a whole day without finding satisfactory llgtiL "Wet" witnesses asaerted that aa long as a maa la able to atand, regardless of the siie of the load, he la sober. ' Dry" experts took the measure of a truly for sui t drunk at three or mora glasaes of whisky, or, if a beer drinker, the "fifth goblet" tags Jilro as aoused. When expeit disagree it Iwhuovea a coU't to seek Impartial preiedenl fur gMiuauva SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT. New York Times: In spite of dissen sions, the Episcopal church last year made strides ahead In numbers and In money gifts far beyond any year In a generation. The official figures for the year show an Increase In gifts to mis sions, home and foreign, of t712.10t, the largest growth ever made In one year. For church maintenance and all gift of all kinds the church, for the first time, pasKcd the tX Onn.OoO mark by about tt. . Kpiacnpel church membership gained .lt!7. and now stands at 1.0' 04. Sunday schools also show steady growth, a change for the better brought about five r six year ago. Teacliera and scholars now numtx-r nearly t-'A.ow. A curloua feature In the episcopal situation la that the numler oV ministers does not In crease. Fort Worth Record: Governor Frank R. Willis of Ohio I pessimistic. The de cline In the rural church baa alarmed him. He says the rural churches In Ohio have come upon evil times. Eighty-three per cent have a mcmheiahlp of less than ion, one out of every nine has been aban doned in recent years, only one-third are Increasing In membership and tw-o-thirda have either ceased growing or are dying. T.es thun 4" per cent, or the rural popu lation arc church members. Governor Willis Is responsible for the fifiures. Since the conilnn of rural free delivery, rural telephone service, pike roada and cheap motor cars the boys and glrla pre fer to go to the county aeat on Hunday and the rural church la no longer the so cial center of the community. This Is the rspid transit and moving picture age. Bpringfleld Republics n: The observa tions of President Fitch of the Andover Theological seminary on the qualifications for success in the ministry are of public intereat. Prealdent Fitch thlnka that men of certain temperament shuld eschew the ministry. "Practical men," for Instance." he aays. "who are chiefly Interested In doing things, who take an objective view of life, who think of it in terms of action, will not usually make great ministers." Should not President Fitch have said "great preachers?" It Is often said as a" compliment to this or that paator that he Is a hustler." And why not? He has high Ideals of aympathy and aervlce, but they are precisely the Ideals that find their fulfillment In doing things. First rate organising ability Is often sought by parish committees In preference to Intellectual talents. There Is. In fact, a place In the churches for men who excel In action and thoae who excel In contem plation, and for those who have a mix ture of both qualities. TABLOIDS OF SCIENCE. The tensile .strength of a paper fly wheel Is far greater than one made of Iron. A humming bird, when stripped of Its feathera, is no larger than a bumble-bee. By treating them with certain gasea a Frenchman haa succeeded In keeping eggs fresh for ten months. - V Aahes obtained by burning woolen or cottorf cloth are used for healing wounds in the European war. To tell the difference between diamonds or crystals and glass or paste, touch them with your tongue. Diamonds and crystals feel very much the colder, Bentontte Is a clay which Is used to give body and weight to paper. In the preparation of a dressing for Inflamed hoofa of horses, aa a conatltuent of antl phlogiatine and as adulterant of candles and drugs. In the quadrangle of the Grand Canyon known as Powell plateau, the visible rocks represent In turn nearly every geo logic age and the sequence or order of deposit of each series of beds Is apparent at a glance. A recent Investigation by Professor Haberlandt of Germany shows that living wood Is of much food value, sapwood, twigs and branches containing large quantities ef sugar, starch and oil, with some albumen. Poft woods contain much oil. hard woods much starch. Scientists differ greatly as to the earth's age. estimates varying from 30.000,000 to 150.U00.000 years. One of the' first esti mates was that of John Phillips, who In 1380 based on a study of stratified rock his assertion that the figure lay some where "between 33,000,000 and 86,000,000 years." AROUND THE CITIES. Jersey City plans to spend Si ,000,000 on a modern Jail. Seattle's latest contribution to munici pal ownership Is a drqe of 700 guinea P'S- Pittsburgh la to have 190 all-steel street cars on Its street railways at a cost of $1,100,000. Philadelphia's public Improvement bill for 1915 totals $9,000,000. Most of the money waa borrowed. Salt Lake City's postofflce handled sixty carloads of mall of all classes dur ing the Christmas rush, a year and thus dislocate the union's uplift projects. The chief offenders are said to be the high sslaiied preachers. Tha ministerial union of Minneapolis publicly complains that some of its mem bers neglect to pay their dues of 2u cents Sloui City hotels soberly notify New Year patrons that not as much of "scent of a stick" will stiffen sauces hereafter. lea Motnea reports that during the open season for "wet" game. 1M bootleggers were captured. And the drouth has Just begun. Memphis maintains Its unenviable dis tinction of the largest percentage of homi cides to population of all American cities. Too quiet on the trigger. Denver's corporations will distribute be tween 6.0o0.W0 and Itj.'tot ,oO In January dividends. The banks ar) said to have made the biggest pot of money. War munitions haa booate.1 the popula tion of Bridgeport. Conn., from lla.OOO to IjO.OuO. Twenty thousand persons In three shifts, are employed by one concern. Kansas City council men talk of bend ing paving Inspectors. "Then." aaya a member, "the city would set what It la paying for. Now we do not get what we pay for." A Wichita preacher was ao astounded or flabbcTgaated by receiving a Chriat maa marriage .fee of fl, that he rollei up the bill In the license and aeut it to the siate regtatrar. t-'ixteen elections are scheduled tn Chi cago for 11". Theae Include a municipal primary, pi.tsldentlal primary. Judicial election, the county primary and the county election. All will precede the main eveut In the presidential arena Over $." persons are employed in the Insurance offices of Hartford, Conn. In one building are housed the American agents of Russian. German and Bulgarian Insurance companies, and they work to gether in peace People and Events WOMEN'S ACTIVITIES. A 10 per cent increase in the wages of Pullman porter lifts the vocation to the salary class and makes more complex the problem of what to do with all the money. A Pittsburgh woman assailed a dentist because he would not pull the aching tooth of a pet bulldog, and ralaed the roof of hi shop by a vocal deliverance on dental Inhumanity. The purp wisely kept his Jaws closed. A common affliction make the victims kin, or words to that effect, tags the ef ficiency score of O. V. ("orley of Dallas. Tex. Corley Is an armless Inventor of arm for the armless and lu dotafi over time business turning out arms for the armless of Europe. Admiral Dewey sianalir.ed his seventy eighth birthday last Srmday by rising at t a. m. and taking a horjeba k rhle be fore breakfast. That's the cluss of sun rise activity which keeps the man with the scythe at a respectful distance. Minnesota admirers rescue William Sulzer from obscurity and put him for ward as primary aspirant for tlte prohi bition nomination for president. About the same time the drys of New York turned him down a a cnndldate for governor. Moth state are well within the snow belt for political toboggans. Andrew- Massey, aged M7, an Indiana farmer, is den at his home In Fayette county. Hooslerdom Is somewhat skepti cal about Massey's great age, an extreme rarity In that section, but Is willing to let It stsnd as an example of what the simple life will do. Massey fought In the Mexican and civil wars. Hmeon Woodrow King, retired federal Judge of Chicago, at tlte age of SI ts visiting relatives at Chester. Pa. The Judge Is a remarkable man. President Lincoln made him judge at the ace of 21 years and months, served on the bench fifty-three years, and has never been sick a day In his life. "I hsve kept the promise I msde to Abraham Lincoln." aays the Judge, "and that promise was that T would never smoke or chew tobacco, never touch liquor and never tell an un truth." A revised snd enlarged edition of safety first warnings arc tacked up on the bill boards of the Huntington division of the Chesapeake & Ohio lallroad. They are intended for members of various train crews, forbidding them "flirting with the wives of certain residents of Ashland, Kenova and Huntington while running through thoae cltie-i, as the husbands of these women have filed numerous com plaints with the main office of the com pany and now threaten suits for dam age." Limiting the vision to a poor grade of Inanimate scenery Is mighty tough on live railroad men. OUT OF THE ORDINARY. There Is an extraordinary echo lot the cathedral at Pisa. If you aing two ilptes there la no reverter8tlon. but If you sing three they are taken up. swelled snd prolonged Into a beautiful harmony. In the Four Counties inn. In England, It Is possible to cat In Leicestershire, sleep In Staffordshire, drink In Warwick shire and smoke In Derbyshire without leaving the building. Nice shiny bugles may be bought very cheaply up In Manitoba, where a large consignment Intended for the troops has been cast aside because in a wee sma' nook on the Inside was found theae words: "Msde In Germany." The philosophy of th untutored Tun gus, most northerly of the Siberian tribesmen. Is "Eat much and laugh much." The gospel or conviviality is ever the same the world over. Civilised man says, "Eat, drink and be merry." A family of seventeen, all able to pick cotton, paid Hlllsboro, Tex., a visit re cently. In thla family are four twins and one set of triplets, leaving eight sin gles besides the parents. Mr. and Mrs. Joel. The Joels gather two bales of the fleecy staple a day. "Niagara Falls being out of date," says the Boston Transcript, "why don't the lovers spend their honeymoon at Bliss. Idaho: Joy. Ky.; Delight. Kan., or Paradise, CaL?" The reason Is, of course, that Hugglns. Ark., and Klssee MlHs. Mo., are far preferable. ( In 1860 a young turtle was caught un der a mill in Callas. Me., by some work men, who cut the date on Its shell. In 1899 the same turtle was caught again under the same mill snd this year It was once more captured by some fishermen off the coast of Grand Manan. During the fifty-five years since 180 It has grown only six Inches. WHITTLED TO A POINT. Hardened hands are the real trade marks of labor. But the hen that alts on a china egg Is better off. New flannels and small boys shrink from wsshlng. Take the consequences If you are en titled to them. Gosalp la always short lived, except when properly ventilated. All the world may love a lover, but It Isn't every suitor that suits. The mor men talk the more they may have to pay for the privilege. A dentist say that It's like pulling a tooth to get money from some people. The heiress who marries a man to re form Mm la foolish to begin with the gold cure. A woman who marries a widower Is likely to mourn Uie demise of his first wife. When a girl gives a young man the marble heart he ia justified in giving her the atony sure forever after. Chicago Newa. Women are to be employed In the mu nitions fsctorles of Austria for the pur pose of releasing the men. that they mav go to the war. Even mothers hsving children In charge will be ssked to spend half a day In the factories. Miss Clara Dow of Cincinnati, who, at her death, left an endowment to the Cin cinnati Symphony orchestra of between ITOt'.oiM and Si.W.ox, ws the owner of eleven drug store". She Is said to hsve come from the humblest of surroundings, snd to have had her own energy to thank for whatever she scqtiired. Prof. M. V. O'Shea of the University of Wisconsin says that the movies that show a "fight over a beautiful girl" are doing; more harm than good In the edu cation of children. He also tells moth ers that the tango and turkey trot are unfit dances for children, whose efforts in thnt direction should be confined to folk dances. The Sob S!.ters' society of the school of jo'.nna'iism st the University of Mis souri slvc. s:; one of the primary reasons for organizing the fact that the member wish to be represented in every student activity, in every honor awarded in the university and In every department or general office to which Journalism stu dents are eligible. Dimensions and descriptions of the per fect woman as approved by a New York sculptor: Height, S fect 7 Inches; weight, 147 pounds: color of hair, chestnut brown: uolor of eyes, hazel; waist measure. 24H Inches; bust. ;W Inches: hips, U Inches: thigh, 2i inches: knee, 17 Inches; csff, 15 Inches; ankle, ft Inches, wrist, 6l,4 inches; size of glove. '; size of shoe, 3'. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. "Did you play Santa Clans at the Christ mas party?'' 'Sure,'- replied Mr. Cumrox; "l had a fine audience, too. I let 1t be understood at the outset that anybody who tdn t. Iai;gli or applaud wouldn't get a present." awhlnglon Star. see Patience Why. anybody cot'.ld tnrougn his oevices. Patrice Really? Sure; he makes opera glasses. Tonkere Statesman. "I wonder why Nero fiddled when Rome was burning." I supuose It was because he thought the critics would have other things on their niinils." Baltimore American. Hazel Tt's alwsy to a man's credit when he stops drinking. Omar Don't, you believe It. Sometime It is to his lack of credit. Indianapolis Star. KABSB5LE KARARET tEAR MR.kABIBBLE., vo rou eaitvt in an 7fes,wrr afier marwaf - IT BkCOMfc A PrMTLfc "You propose a tax on gasoline?" "Yes."- "I fear thst would be unpopular." "I'm." said the atateaman addressed, "I have been looking around for a tax that would be popular, but I haven't succeeded In locating one as yet. " Louisville Courier-Journal. "I wonder more speculators don't make aviation trips." "Why speculators?" "Because they're used to taking flyers." Baltimore -American. "Smith doesn't aeem to be a very pop ular man," remarked Jonea. "Poaajlar.'v replied Brown. "Why, he's as popular as the only winner in an all night poker game." Cincinnati En quirer. THE LONELY LAND. Madiaon Cowein, In "The Cup of Comus." A river hinds the lonely land, A rrver like a silver band. To crags and shores of yellow sand. It is a place where klldees cry. And endless marshea eastward lie, Whereon looks down a ghostly sky. A house stands gray and all alone Upon a hill, as dim of tone. And lonely, as a lonely stone. There are no signs of life about; No barnyard bustle, cry and shout Of children, who run laughing out. No crow of cocks, no low of cows. No sheep-bell tinkling under boughs Of beech, or song in gsrth or house. Only the curlew's mournful call. Circling the sky at evenfall. And loon lamenting over all. A garden, where the sunflower dfea And lily on the pathway lice, Looks blindly at the blinder skies. And round the place a lone wind blows, Aa when the autumn grieving goes, Tattered and dripping, to its close. And on decaying shrubs and vines The moon's thin crescent, dwindling; a hi nee, Caught in the claws of somber pines. And then a pale girl, like a flower, Enters the garden; for an hour rhe walta beside a wild-rose bower. There Is no other one around: No sound, except the cricket's sound And far off baying of a hound. There ia no fire or candle light To flaah ita measage through the night Or welcome from aome casement bright. Only the moon, that thinly throws A ahadow on the girl and rose, Aa to ita aettlng alow it goes. And when 'tis gone, from shore and stream There e tea Is a mist, that turns to dream That place where all thlnga merely seem. And through the mist there goes a cry. Not of the earth nor of the sky. But of the years that have paused by. And with the cry there comes the rain. Whispering of all that waa in vgln ai every aoor ana window pane. And ahe. who walta beaide the rose Hears, with her heart, a hoof that goes, (Jalloplng afar to where none knows. And then ahe bowa her head and weeps And suddenly a shadow sweeps Around, and in Its darkening deeps. The house, the girl, the cliffs, and stream Are sone. And they, and all things seem But phantoms, merely in a dream. ATTENTION! ALL RECORDS SMASHED! THE WOODMEN OF THE WORLD MADE THE GREATEST GAIN IN MEMBERSHIP IN NOVEMBER, 1915, OF ANY MONTH IN ITS HISTORY. NET GAIN-9,152 ARE YOU IN? IF NOT "TELL" DOUGLAS 1117 AND GET RIGHT. J. T. YATES, W. A. FRASER. - secretary. e r SSSSSaw t