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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 19, 1915)
4-S ailK OMAHA SUNDAY BEK DKCEMnKlt IP. 1915. 5H0RT SPORTS BY HEHKE 3Jaie Ball ExacU Greater Toll of Human Live Each Tear Than Does Foot Ball. TT COBB AT FEJANCIIimfO T rRAUK O. MBJIKE. 1 NEW YORK. Dm. IS. Ram ball mcH a larger toll of human live yearly than 1 does foot ball. One hear much from , the fanatic about the foot hall being a i "brutal" ranie, yet the diamond gam Is j deadlier. i In 1915 sixteen person died through foot ball participation and over sixty are In '. their irrave becaune of accident In base nail combat. The number of person seriously Injured In foot ball fame wa I alight In compartaon with the baae ball list Ty Cobb made almost a much "ldo" , rnotiev Muring the month following the . rloee of the regular 1915 season a ome ! players "id all season. Ty drew down al ' most PTt for taking part In an exhibition ! game In Montreal, J1.3W more for six ' other games at 1200 per exhibit and about ; 5ofl from his newspaper writing. Two thousand, six hundred dollar In ; en month! Not so bad, eh, Oscar T ! ! The record score made during the 1915 j foot wall season was that rolled P T ' ': the Bt Viator team of Kankakee, III., i when It scored a 12 to 0 victory over , the Morgan Park outfit from Chicago. Shield, the St Viator left end. led the attack by scoring eight touchdowns; Cap- ; tain McGrath. left halfback, scored seven, : and Berry, the quarterback, scored five. The center and the two guards were the only Bt. Viator men who did not get Into the scoring column. - Bill Brennan, once with the National league, now arbitrating In the Feds. Is writing a series, "Confessions of an Um pire." Call out the grand jury. The figgerlng persons connected with the turf game Inform us that Broomstick - is the leading sire of the lMli racing sea 1 eon. which mean that he I papa to more and larger money winner than any other animal. The offspring of the horse with the kitchen Implement name : have won 10 race for total earning of i 1108.000. Thunderer, victor In the blgf i turlty, won close to 18,000 and heads the list of purse-winning Broomstick chll j flren. Karl Adams, flinging person connected i with the Chicago Cub, won the booby : 110 for batting In the National league i M 115. Monsieur Adams participated in ! twenty-alx combat and emerged with a Letting average of exactly .000. A newspaper person recently sought out : Zbyssko, the wrestler, for an Interview ' very early In the morning. The grappler ' had not breakfasted. "I haven't eaten, either." said scribe. ; "Eat with me." Well. I'm not very hungry. but I guess I could dispose of a bite or so," said tbysiko. - a I The "unhungry" wrestler ate as follows: ' Three portion of steak. J Two portions of potatoes. Eight egg. Two order of chops. Nine baked apples A gallon or so of beverage. "Ooh, I'm glad that bird wasn't ec totally hungry," commented tho reporter person, a the bill was handed to him. No team In the country used th for ward pass In 1913 with more euocess than did the Washington and Jefferson eleven. Bob Fol well's warrior attempted th pass 181 times and ninety-three of those attempts were successful a really won derful record, which netted the Washing ton and Jefferson team a total gain of l.XSJ yards. On seventeen successful passes in th West Virginia gam Wash ington and Jefferson gained 4 yard, th average of fifteen year to a pass the Yale game Washington and Jefferson tried thirty-eight passes, twenty-six of which were succesiifu!. "Golf," writes Harry Vardon, "provides a more searching test of nerve and tern rcrsment than any other game In th world. Oolf is the one gam that comes nearest to being an art. In order to be come a champion a person must have a icood deal of sensitiveness In hi nervous system. A person with a truly phlag- inatlo temperament would not be likely to rise to greatness on the link." Tat this year had the worst team In lis career yet lis foot ball tncom wa srester by $10,000 than ever before. Omaha Boy Elected Captain of Gallaudct Eleven of Washington icott Cuscadi'n, son of Dr. Gerturde t'uscaden, Si2 Webster street, has been rlerted captain of tho football eleven for 191S at Gallaudet collite In Wash ington. D. C, Uallaudet Is the national university for the deaf. Voung CuHcsden, who Is known as fussy" by his schoolmates, has played et end on the team three years and was I'll, year the Individual star of the team, lie will encounter a touch proposition In building up a atrong team next fall as he limes five of his veterans, all of whom graduate In the spring. The team this ear as not overly successful and j.ioMwt for the future are not very 1 ri k 'it. but according to dispatches from NVsnhlngton. the Gallaudct students s (oiifiJeiit in the ability of the Omaha 1-oy to lead a winning team on th t i'iiron. despite the ntany handicaps that are certain to confront him. T he Omaha lad la a graduate of the Nebraska rk.'huol for the Deaf In this iliy. He wa given his diploma wltb lath scholatitk! honors and he waa also Tie of the leading athletes during bis I rin in the institution. Want Big Entry for State Tennis Event Anmtry of 1M to too players in the Ke- traa'ta State Tennis tournament at Wayne next summer Is the bo'ie and am. 1 Hicm of Clark Pwwell of Oiuaha, prel- il. i.t of th state association, and Frank V.organ tf Wayne, secretary. Morgan will come to Oinfeba some time after the first of the year for a i-onference with i i.wi-ll, after which this pair of huatllng (.fficrrs will start to campaign the slate. 'J l.-y ouiifkiently e i-tct to break all roc i rD for attendance, and In addition to i jvi entrants from all parts of the t that the touanaiiicnt will I truily i wtMMitatlve. TED LEWIS IS WELTER CHAMP Rionide Declare! . English Boxer Has Right to Title la Long Defunct Division. MANY FUT IN BID FOR HONOR Br RINGaiDF). NEW TORK. Deo. U. Th long de funct welterweight division I beginning to show signs of resuscitation. Kvantu ally a champion may be recognised and one of the two championship title that have been In abeyance for many year may have a rightful and undisputed holder. The welterweight class has always been without a universally recognised champion. From . the time of It In ception, this division haa been buffeted about with disputed champion, although several real fighter have pretented to the crown and defended .it like real champions. Back In tho early 80g Paddy Puffy wa looked upon as the welterweight champion. He retired undefeated: and then th trouble started. Mysterious Billy Smith cam forth In UM and claimed the title; and it ha been claimed ever since. The mysterious person was beaten by Tommy Ryan, who soon graduated to the middleweight ranks, a did Kid McCoy, who wa becoming a terror at this time. In 1A97 Mystererlous Billy sub mitted another claim to th welter weight title, and ha wa adjudged su premo after hi defeat of Matty Mat thew and Jo Walcott Th coveted championship had several elf-lmpoedl holder during th next few year. Jo Walcott wa considered th high black king In th division until 1904, when he lost on a foul to the Dixie Kid. t More Wordy Hera pa. The another Wllllams-Kltle controversy was on. Dixie Kid and Walcott entered counter claims for the title. Th pair never met again, however. In 190J Honey Mellody whipped Walcott and then both "Honey Boy" and Dixie Kid were at odds over the much-abuaed title. Along came Mike Sullivan be of the famous "twins" and polished off Mellody In 1907. Mike "Twin" persisted In claiming th title up to 1910. when he outgrew the division and advanced a notch higher. This gave Mellody a chance to claim th honor again, a did Jimmy Clabby, ho gained a newspaper decision over Dixie Kid. , The next year Clabby moved up to the mlddlewelghta and Ray Bronson and "Rube" Ferns tried to annex th title by default. There was no reoognlsed cham pion up to 1911, Then Bronson posted a forfeit to battle all comer for th welter title. At this tlm Packey McFarland wa considered th peer of welterweights, but Packy refused to lay claim to th championship, preferring still to be classed a a lightweight, although he would not reveal hi real fighting weight. Mike Gibbons appeared on th horlson at th precise moment and put In a bid for the storm-tossed title. . But h ad mitted hi Inability to make th American weight of 141 pound at I o'clock, or 16 pound at the ringside. Last year Bronson went to Australia and wa beaten by Matt Well In seven round. Matt ha been beaten several time since, even by lightweights. Whloh bring ua to th current tlm. Who Is th welterweight champion, any way. W refuse to search you, but will submit com faota that may relievo th tension. Call Lewi Chant. W herewith proclaim Ted "Kid" Lewis welterweight champion of th world, and w don't car who knows It. If any one ha a better claim to this titl than Lewi, w have yet to hear of It; and If counter facts warrant, we will gladly withdraw our nomination of Lewis. Lewis ha defeated the best of Amer ica' overgrown lightweights. The Briton fight at th lightweight limit If occasion demands; but his forte lies In beating heavier men. Lewi one-round knockout of Jimmy Duffy, who had never even been floored, attest to th calibre of Lewla Th latter haa alio whipped Charley White, Chicago's hard punching lightweight contender. Lewi haa don hi best work In Bos ton, where he haa become a greater Idol than th home favorite. Ted 1 not a spas modic worker. Ill performance are con sistently high class, and only occasion allyvery occasionallydoes he turn In a mediocre exhibition. This U only when he Is stale and overworked. Jimmy Johnston la also In th claim ing business. Beside claiming th wel terweight title for Lewis, Jolme claim he alone is responsible for developing Lewis Into championship possibility. SCOTT CUSCADEN. rv V - - " I r i Six Nesser Brothora All Stars on Ono 1 y Ml I f I SIX LIFT TO RtaHT TR1T), HAUBACK. COACH AND CAPTAIN; JOHN. QUARTERBACK. . BOTTOM ALFRED, OUARD; FRANK, FULLBACK. AND FRED, END. College foot ball la on thing, and pro fessional foot ball Is another, and as th two never meet, comparisons cannot be drawn. However, It 1 doubtful If th beat col log team In the country could cor a victory on the famous Panhandle team of Columbus, O. This team, composed of employes of the Pennsylvania railroad in that city, ha mad some wonderful record In th last sixteen year. Th team was organised In li by Joseph F. Carr, now president of th Ohio Btate Base Ball league. Th sis Nesser brother, who have mad famo and fortune playing on this team, are German by descent on both sides of th family, their parent having com to America from tho Fatherland far baok In th early '60s. Today they prtd them selves on saying that although they are proud of their ancestry there la no hyphen in their Americanism. They are plain American cltisena whos forbear oam from Germany. Th parent of tola great family are still living, and although far advanced In age enjoy th beat of health, Th father la bollermaker and follow hi craft dally. In addition to th member of th noted family shown In th picture there are two boy and two girl. Th entire family were born and reared In Columbus, Ok, and all of the boys are employed by th Pennsylvania, Railroad company a boiler- makers. None of th boys ha had th advantage of a college education, but all have applied themselves diligently. Their activity In foot ball data baok alxteen years, when th Panhandl foot ball team was organised. At that tlm only two of the brother war of a ais FLOOR GAME IN SPOTLIGHT Interest in Basket Ball in Nebraska High Schools is Already Ap proaching' Fever Pitch, STE0NQ TEAMS LOSE VETS With th practice among high aohool basket ball teams of the state In full way, th usual Intense Interest la being displayed by th hundreds of followers of th state basket bail dope as to which teams will lead this year. Ist year' state tournament proved the biggest and most successful ever held at Lincoln, or In th country, for that matter, (-"event y teama from out in the state entered all tuned up to th greatest posslbl efficiency. A dosen team loomed up mighty strong In this final scrape of the season. From reports It is expected that the majority of this dosen will be In the limelight as leadera again thU year. Through gradu ation many all-atar men were lost, th two Omaha teama being counted among th heavleat losers. Hastings,. Beatrice and linooln were three other teams that lost several mighty good players by grad uation. ( Norfolk I bound to hav on of the strongest fives in th state, according to earliest report. The hardest fought game of the entire tournament last year wa played between Norfolk and Univer sity Place, three extra periods being taken out before the result waa assured. Th Lincoln team won by a margin of two point. Oakdal and Geneva, two of Nor folk' western neighbor, will have very strong quintets, while Nebraska City, V'nlversity Plate, Columbus, pierce and Tork are touted as th other leaders over the state. Omaha's two representative. Central and South High, hav game scheduled with the majority of these teams. Most of the games will be played on local floors, thus affording local basket ball enthusiasts opportunities to witness some of th prettiest and hardest fought bat tles of tb year. Central hag added at tractions In the Kanaa City and Bioux City, while Bouth Htgh'a game with the Nebraska Aggie should be a big draw ing card. Tb Aggie have generally al ways loomed tP -s the best la th Capi tal City, having been close leader u the Commercial league there. ACCORDING TO THIS ZIM COULD RIVAL B. SUNDAY Jlia Thorpe U In love with base ball, but Is only a fair player. 11 dislike th gridiion game, but I said to be th great est foot boll player of all time. Following this same reasoning, Heinle Zimmerman ought to be a successful evangelist. l JVS'SEte. B&omEJZS. sufficient to play the gridiron game, but th team haa continued In existence, and a eaoh of th boy grew to ago and slae to play on the team they were given place until today all six of the brother are playing regular positions. In addition to their ability to play foot ball th Nesser brothers are athletes In almost vry department of track and field athletics. , Th brother as they appear In the pic ture and their athletic attribute follow: Ted, ooach and captain and halfback of th teem, I th star of the family on th gridiron. H weigh 130 pound. College coaches speak of his ability as a player, and his work as coach has met with many compliment at th hands of com petent college men. He 1 31 years of atfe and ha a family of five children. John, th oldest of the brothers, play quarterback on the team and haa long held th diamond medal of th Pennsyl vania system for being th beat all around athlete In th employ of th company. H hag played on the Panhandle team constantly sine Its organisation, and al though now close to to years of age 1 still aotlve and one of the team's best players. Ho weigh 173 pounds. Philip, . next oldest of the brother weighs 287 pounds and play tackle on the team. He haa seen eleven year of service on th team and 1 atlll one of It best players. H hold th Ohio state Independent championship for the stand ing high Jump and putting the shot He Is M years of age and ha a family of five children. Alfred, th youngest of the six broth ers, I playing his fourth season on the Melady Says Gotch Will Look Like All Others to Steelier Gen Melady haa com forth In defense of Jo Btecher again. In a recent Issue of a Chicago sport publication the position waa taken that th proposed match between Frank Gotch and Joe Btecher would b more or less a hippodrome to get th public' money. Mr. Melady composed an answer to the paper, which printed It in its issue a week ago. Melady wrote In part, "Joe Btecher is without question the greatest athlete the world haa ever seen. He is a clean-cut straight honest lad and a credit to clean sports. "There la not question but what Frank Gotch 1 a great man, and one of th most wonderful wrestler the world has ever seen, -but you can take It from ,me, that Gotch will laat about aa long with Jo Btecher as all the others. STATE BILLIARD TOURNEY TO COME OFF IN JANUARY The annual state billiard tournament will be held In Omaha ahortly after Jan uary L A number of Omaha sharka are going to enter the event, bent on trim ming At Cahn, the title holder, of his laurels. Harry Symes, BUI Chambers, E. A. eVtple, Herb McCoy. Bob Williams and Arthur Sturges of Omaha. George Mann of Lincoln and Louis Jeager of Chadron are expected to enter the tour nament. Firemen Tell Prince They Can Outpull Any Team in the World Jack Prince, promoter of the Internfc- tlo. -I Tug-of-.Var which will b staged at the Auditorium January J to . walked into eng.ii house No. 1 of the Omaha f ;re department the other day. Pronto, sev enteen husky firemen hopped on the de fenseless trains of J. Prince. ) "You're the guy who's going to stage the tug-o'-war, ain't your aa excitable fire laddie opened fire, "Sure," responded th startled Prince. "Welt listen to me," continued the knight of the two-inoh nossl. "If you a ant a tug-o'-war team to represent America In th pull, you call on ua fire men. We'll pull and beat any team In th United State." This and much more waa warbled Into th pink left ear of Mr. Prince. Th fire men lugged Prince to the back end of the bouse, where Jack found to his surprise i a complete pulling apparatus where the i firemen practUe tugging. They had a big Foot Ball Toam AND PHILIP. TACKLE. Panhandle. Ha nlava vuard and hi work ha been the talk of college coaches or- ervwhere. Although he we,gh th least nf the hrothers ha Is on of the brilcht stars of the team. It was his work aa guard that first gave college coaches in the middle west th Idee, that lighter men in the guard position were better than heavy men. He Is still In hi teen and weigh close to 10 pounds. Frank, next youngest and the heavleat of th brother, play fullback, and also were last there as a member of the a fore does the punting for the team. He la mentioned Luxus party. About the only also a professional base ball player, har- thing Cleveland has to recommend Itself Ing played In the Ohio Btat league for that Marty Kryg lives there. Its chief three year, and laat year wea the man- "hort-comlng Is that Barney Harris, who ager of the Greensboro, S. C, club. He I a giant In stature, weighing TT pounds and can do the 100 yards In less than eleven seconds. He oan punt a foot ball farther and higher than any man In th middle west, Aa a plunging fullback hS " " - -" - D - - t a wonaer, ana no single piayer naa own found who can atop him. He 1 usually seen with three or tour tackles hanging on him when he 1 downed. He la 32 year of age and married. Fred, th tallost of the brother, play end. He 1 24 year of age, stands six feet five inches and weigh 228 pounds. At receiving the forward pass hi height stands him In good stead, aa he can re-i celv a pas that will be far above the head of any ordinary player. HI speed make htm one to be feared If he la near an opening. On th defense few forward passes or end run get far on hi aid of the line. Within the last year he has turned hi attention to pugilism and haa scored four knockouts in the four bout that he haa fought He Intends to con--"- ls the roped arena. NAME SCHEDULE MEET DATE Western League Conference to Ar range 1018 Dates Will Be Held in Lincoln February 14. URGE A LONGER SCHEDULE The Western league schedule meeting will be held In Lincoln February 14. The schedule meeting next year should be another exciting event aa exciting as last year' If not more so. Laet year the schedule waa cut to 140 games from 168 a played In lflt. But the cut was made with the unanimous approval of the magnates. -1 This year several of the mag believe the schedule should be lengthened to 154 games. The argument Is to start as early ae the majors, around April 14 or 13, and finish In the middle of September. List year the season opened April Z3 and closed September . It so -happened that a bunch of swell weather seemed to "hap pen" the two week before th season opened and two week after th season closed. Following the hunch that the weather will "happen" again, some of th magnates favor the lM-gam schedule. But there is likely to be some opposi tion to this. John Savage of Topeka has already announced that he doe not favor the plan. Thus It la expected the schedule meeting will be a merry little event The training season In the Western league this year will be of but two weeks' duration. Tbus If the season opens April 14, the playera will not report until April 1. The training season last year extended over a month and waa a failure. . ' Inch-and-a-half rope, a pulling platform. anchors and everything else. "We pulled against th policemen and we pulled 'em seven Inches In twenty minutes," volunteered a pipe man. "Seven Inches!" howled Prince. "But you hav to pull seven feet In my tug-of-war." "We'll pull 'em seven feet" declared th eager pipemaa. "We'll pull 'em seven hundred feet We'll give you a team on which every man wUl weigh over 230 pounds. We'll pull any team In th world and akin It to death." After half an hour of this kind of chat ter I'rlnce began to get Interested. He is considering the firemen aerloasly. H I also considering th policemen. And his present dope is to. hold a preliminary match between the firemen and police men th week before the big event comes off. and the winning team shall represent America In th big pulL The Hypodermic Needle bt rmD Osr Travelogae If. T. Cleveland, O., Is alxth in the population f the United State and last In the American league. When you arrive In Cleveland you ar rive at a depot Tou may aay that la th usual procedure, but unless w tell you it Is a depot you may have reason to doubt it In case you ever go there. This depot In Cleveland la one of th even wonder of th world. They may have a won depot In Oruro, Bolivia If you don't believe there la such a place look It up, look it up. It exists, and you'll see for yourself we're an educated guy but it doean't eem possible. They hav been making plan for the last fifteen year to get a nw depot In Cleveland and they hav high hope of getting one by 1015. Cleveland' streets are a source of amasement to travelers. One street 1 so narrow a guy with regular shoulder would wear out his coat In two day If h did much walking up or down it. Another rtreet 1 o wide four treet car track run up th middle. Another street la so crooked you almost turn around In th sum block. Another street run clear to Buffalo without a turn, or aome- i thing Ilk that anyhow. Th big street in Cleveland Is Euclid avenue. Clevelanders i hav been telling the world about this ; street for age. It la on of the principal business streets of the town, one of the principal residence streets of the town j and a lot of automob'le garages are lo , cated on It. thus making It a very cele ' b rated thoroughfare. It also has soma swell paving. The cobblestones used for it surface, we have been told and have no reason to doubt It, were brought over to this country by Columbus In 1492. If you want to see how smooth riding Euclid avenue Is, go over !t In a flivver soma day. Cleveland ha many large and beautiful cafe and restaurants. When we were there we stopped at a certain hotel, tho nam of wh'ch we refuse to divulge be cause the advertising department might want to get soma business out of It some day. We asked a brother In crime who work on a Cleveland paper where the best place to eat was and he mentioned our hotel. - So we took his advice and tried to get a meat there. If you Intend to eat there some Wednesday, put In your order on Monday and you'll have a chance. Speed is the paramount virtue of u cieveiana cares Fr th benefit of th Luxus team of Omaha we will not say anything about the White Auto base ball team, the ama- wr cnamp or tne country, wno are irom Cleveland. We could say a lot more about Cleve land, but thought of that city always bring up unpleasant memories neaas ror tni great religious dally, la always boosting th town. Attention I Mr. Camp. Honolulu cltlxen or near -citizen cap LAI 11 Ul JPIO 411 tain of 1916 Harvard eleven. Decatur, 111., man ! Cornell eleven. captain of the 19K ' Nebraska boy captain of 191 Nary eleven. I Teh, you're right, they turn out rotten foot ball player in the west And speaking of Mr. Camp, In view of OMAHA HAS FIGHT ON HANDS Country Club Will Have Opposition from California for Western . Amateur Oolf Tournament. OFFERS FREE SPECIAL TRAIN The Omaha Country club la going to hav a fight on Its hande If It expects to land the western amateur golf tourna ment for Omaha. And the opposition not likely to come from the Midlothian olub of Chicago, but from the Del Mont club of California The Del Monte club offer to provide a special train from Chicago to the coast, One hundred and fifty player wUl be carried on the train and the club will stand the expenses of all of these players. This most magnanimous offer Is being given due consideration by many of the western clubs, especially those In Chicago and east and it seems a pretty safe bet the Del Monte club will get a good pro portion of votes. Of course there are several objections to the trip to the coast. The first objec tion Is .that th California course Is not a championship course. It will be some year before It will be one. Th Omaha Country club course Is now a champion ship course. The odds favor the Omaha club In this regard. Trip Too Lois. Again It Is a long trip to th coast and many players would be unable to make the tour. Omaha Is right In the middle of the western territory and Is one of the most easily accessible cities In the association. Again there Is a chance the Western Oolf association will rule that the pay ment of expenses on the special train by the Del Monte club would make the play er professionals. And still again any method of deciding what player would be eligible to take the special train which has a limit of 100 persons would probably incur the wrath of those declared inellgble. Probably tti or 400 near-golfers would enter the tour ney Just to get the gratis trip to Cali fornia. This would make a selection of ellglbles difficult and aome deserving players probably would be left out. The California club has but on advan tage over Omaha, that 1 th novelty of th long Jump, and for this reason It Is receiving consideration. The Country club Is confident It will land th tourna ment however, and it certainly deserves to on th merits of the thing. New York Semi-Pro Nine Will Play in Cuba and the Canal Arthur Irwin, the old New York scout and Joe Hlgglna. manager of tho Bed ford Parks and scout for the Detroit Tig ers, are recruiting a team with which to invade Cuba, Porto Rico and Panama. Irwin and Hlgglna are forming a team of New Tork semi pro. stars, balanced by aom major league playera The party chaperoned by Higgine and Irwin, will leave New York City next January 4 and return on March IS. The government will pay the expenses of the team la Panama, as they will play games with all the local teams on lbs Isthmus. m. HTnrTxm the fact that he p"t Helllgan hie third All-Amerlcan team this year, la eae pected to glv Johnny Poe, who wag re cently riddled by some German, ahrsjpneU place on his 19K team. Attention! Mr. Whittle. Th beautiful snowflakes Are falling down; They're white In the auburba, But some dlff rent downtown. Pa Moran sav he 1 satisfied With his 1915 team. Oh, yes, Alexander ain't suoh rotten team. And once. If you remember. Mr. Byron Bancroft Johnson said the Federals were through. Oh my, yea POETIIT. Some of these Jokes About Xraas smokes . Are almost as arooA Jokes As the Xmas smokes. 8la.to-8lx, Remember t Montana has offered to play Syracuse next year. WUl Syracuse accept "a. moat assuredly, Harold, most assuredly, these westerners are so easy to beat. WB ARB NOW IN THB 8AMB CLASS WITH DOC COOK AND THOMAS EDISON AND MORSB AND ALL OF THEM. Oh, Webster, we've discovered. Though we know this Is absurd, That In all the language Isthmus. ( And your book we've quite uncovered, Is the very only word That can be rhymed with Xmas. Melllfleta, Give Look. The skating erase has hit society In NTawk. The skating erase has hit society tn Chicago. The skating erase Is about ready w mi society In Omaha. ' Bo says the society ed, or woras to that effect 1 But we ask, the society ed to the con trary notwithstanding Is the erase new to you? What kind of skates ar we tauang about? Tea, you got It tne first time. AND 8PEAK3NO OT BgATB3 WE BEAD THAT THIS lAND. ACCORDING TO ADVOCATE OF PROHIBITION. WILL GO" v DRT BT JANUARY 1. 1910, 1 WHICH INSPIRB8 THIS V8.1 The grasd old gram of sreuvx. Is a same that Is a "pigs" For yoa crack a aretta wereha, And then yoa sl a little aim, It's the beetest araan la all Che world. I'm for It heart ax4 soml. And I'm the gray that plays m vac When at the Buueeteeath hole But the gfaxa) Is sadly wsalsg, For Its fa tare I xaast ery. For the xUneteentk hole Is soeoa te ke Qe.it desolate aad dry. And taea I'll pass vposi say way, As a siolfor tried sad tree, For when old ntaexeesv-! treaty comes, Wltk volflngr I'll he threaarh. Most any golfer could have written the above, and from deep within his heart too. We have a hunoh Jim Gflmore is not stuck on peace, for about $15,00 a year salary he I not stuck on It There are a lot of candidates for the coaching Joba at the University of Ne braska. Yes,' most anybody would be willing to coach a team with a O, Cham berlain on It Dlmltrlus Tofalos, a Greek wrestler among those working on the theory that Broadway Is merely another nam for Jayway and therefore staging a perpetual wrestling tournament tn Gotham, hums a tenor solo while working for a genteel strangle told on the opposition. We won der what opera he will Caruso If he should some day encounter a certain scissors hold regarding which much haa been said and written. They call him a filbert a nutritive nut. They knock in his lattice till he's ham mered and cut They juncture his roof aud they crack every bone. They tell him he's useless and he stands all alone. Ad Infinitum, et cet, and so on. W haven't the heart to finish this song. ' So we'll tell you the guy we are harp ing about He's the guy who stay sober Till New Year's is ober. And gets the morn meal ticket oat Showing that ws have been rushing the season. Tn Great KENTUCKY Whukmy For OTrT9 years Bond A Llllard has been the choice of those who know and want the beet. "Quality rZbM Sold Eotrywhmi FREE FREE FREE! ACaUoaJaaaf Parke's Old XXX WHISKEY XXX WakaeT-enJ we wUl ana ree fa The Extra CUoa U Free S T11 ni eaW te add U.UUU &sVts e-ua U. tu motttK. lead you seder ss Das. DISTILLERIES SALES CO raaaas Or. He. LiHard Whiskey lXSSBSSBSSSSXSX.flssssss t . 'If i I . I I