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offle Magazine Pa
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Women and Love
By ELLA WHKEI:U WILCOX.
(Copyright, 1916, Star Company.)
Women talk a great deal about lovlna.
"Women pursue mon with pistol and
hoot them all for love. Otlirr womrn
drag men Into courts of Justice and say
It ia because they
lov them.
But )uat bow
does a woman,
really capable of a
deep and endurlnK
love, think, sxt
and live that love?
How doea he ex
press that love In
her dally life?
Woman haa (tone
through a great
transform a t I o n
since the days of
our Pilgrim
mothers. Her Idea
of herself, of man,
of love. Is not at
.11 4 Ha aamA- YfiL
mm
1
lunleaa she has eliminated from her na
ture the power to entertain a great and
absorbing and dominating passion, she
muat feel toward the man she loves, In
the main essentials, the same emotion
which her great grandmother felt.
It Is the natural and wholesome order
of things that a man should be the
money-maker and the bread-winner.
Woman's natural and wholesome place
Is the home-maker and keeper. When,
by fore of circumstances, accident or
Inheritance, the woman Is the purse
holder, she docs not love the man If she
vaunts this fact In the eyes of the worlu.
A wife who held that she was de
votedly In love with her husband took
pains to inform callers that "she feath
ered her own neat." She had brought
him a fortune, while he was only a clerk,
and she built and furnished her own
home, . .
But by speaking of such a fact she
proved herself incapable of the refined
and tender qualities which enter into a
deep love. Had she really known how
to love she would never have found
pride and pleasure In making her callers
realize that her beautiful home was pur
chased by her own Inheritance. Instead
of being the offering of love. It was not
necessary to relate the circumstances,
K and pride should have kept
her silent. . . .
Another woman, gifted with a certain
talent which made her name known to
a large circle, exhibited pride and satis
faction when Indelicate people called her
the "head of the house." She even went
so far as to repeat the sentence to the
quiet, cultured and Intellectual gentle
man who had honored her by making
her his wife.
Had she known how to love she would
not only have kept such a tactless
speech from her husband, but she would
herself have been wounded Instead of
flattered by It.,, . .
No woman can love a man and desire
to be thought the head of the house
which bears his name. No woman can
love a man and take pleasure In having
people think her "smarter or more ca
pable than he in his own domain.
If the fact forces Itself upon her. In
spite of her love and devotion to him,
that she Is smarter and more capable,
she suffers keenly, because the real hap
piness of a woman who loves comes
through ' looking up to her lover and
loaning upon him In all the big Issues of
life.
In this age nearly all women are
"doing something." In the days of our
Puritan foebears careers for wives were
scarcely known. Now almost every wife
one meets sings, paints, writes, plays, re
cites, lectures or gives readings.
Advice to Lovelorn
Suggest a Compromise. i
Dear Miss Fairfax: During my college
vacation this year I chanced to meet a
young lady on the tennis courts st Cen
tral Park. I have played tennis with her
for several weeks every day. and I have
grown fond of her. Not only that, but
1 sincerely feel that I love her. She has
told me recently that It was her intention
to receive private tutoring In French this
fall, and, inasmuch as I am proficient In
the language, I have olfered my services.
However, 1 insist upon receiving no fee
in return. Naturally enough, she refuses
to accept my tutoring. E. Q.
Naturally enough you do not want to
accept a fee for your services from the
girl for whom you care. On the other
hand, she undoubtedly does not feel Justi
fied In taking up your time without In
any way recompensing you. Try to make
her feel that the privilege of doing this
work with her means a great deal to you,
and If she insists that she cannot accept
your services quite free, try to compro
mise by suggesting that she give you a
bit of her handiwork or some book which
you are very anxious to own for Christ
mas. Don't Be Forward,
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am IS, and a
stenographer In a large office, where
there aro many people. There is a young
nan, working for u concern with whom
this firm is connected, who drops into
the office. He is about 30; and 1 admtro
him very much.
There Is something quiet and reserved
about this Mr. H whh-h his somehow
appealed to me; and I have hoard I'rom
Kood sources that ho Is of fcood char
acter. Now, Miss Fairfax, Is there any wjv
of letting ,lm see that I think a Jsro-.t
leal of him without niakuiK myself loon
foolish or forward.' K. K. K.
Unless thin man singles you cut for his
attention there is ery little you can do
beyond being as pleasant and amiable as
possible. You can hardly ruth tp to liiin
with a request that tie come to see you at
your home; nor can you in any way
Kr.tcefully compel an intimacy which he
does not seek.
Better Quit and Forget.
Dear Mind Kali fax: I am 11 years old.
1 have gone with a young man for over
three years. 1 ihinK a great deal of
lim. and at first 1 thought he cared as
much for me. but ' now he U keeping
company with snother girl.
1 naked him for my letters and picture
back. It made him angry, and ho said
1 could not keep the presents he had
given me, and that he didn t want what
1 had given him. I have decided not to
give them to hiin. Do you think It right
for me to keep them? I am willing to
give back the ring. 1 love him very much
and would like to be his friend sgain,
but be d not think that way. Could
I ever marry and make another man a
tome If l (ULouot forget him? 1 don't
it Is a feature of tlie iifto; a part of
thn world's iroKrc.. uwny from the old
drudgery and the rmrrow limits which
made womnifs hor son In the p.ist. it
has, unfortunately for Rood tnste. be
come the hahlt of an undis-eiiniiniit Int;
public to take It t r grantru thai B
mei!ioer talent, or even tin ability to do
some sui ill trl 1: ntvfmly, establishes
mental superiority for n woman.
It Ik also, unfoi-lunritely, the hnblt of
tile same un!l:;cr'ir'.nntltiK and Indeli
cate public to assume tnnt this "superior
w man" likes to be tli.uiKht "thu beat
man In conpnrlson with her husband,
who Is more fieiuently than otherwise
her superior in every respect, save the
one which makes her a superficial per
form, r.
But while one can forgive a blind and
unthlnklnjf public It la difficult to for
give the tilly and Belf-eultiired wife, who
talks about her deeply sensitive ar.d re
fined nature mid hrr great capacity for
loving, yet. who fails to resent any re
flections cast upon the man whose name
she bears. '
For it Is a reflection, when those un
acquainted with the qualities of a man
in private life take It for granted that
he Is dominated by his wife, and pre
sume to suppose that his wife enjoys
the situation. If she does she .a incapa
ble of love absolute: Of course there Is
it type of man who kills out the power of
love In a woman's nature.
He Is the man who, after he wins a
woman, proves the petty tyrant and en
deavors to obliterate her Individuality and
to crush every ambition she may have
for self-Improvement. Such a man sneers
at his wife's opinions, doubts her judg
ment. Ignores her feelings In a thousand
contemptible ways, makes her conscious
of his belief In his own supremacy and
superiority and of her nothingness.
That the wife of such a man might
enjoy her hour of triumph when some
time regarded by the lndlscrimlnatlng ob
server as his superior, would be but nat
ural. But such men are not as fre
quently encountered as the "New
Woman," whose prldo Is not In the man
she loves, but In her own achievements,
be thoy lessor or greater, and whose talk
of love does not ring true.
When a woman really loves a man It
Is a pain to her to prove him mistaken
In his opinions or Judgments.
She would rather, when In argument,
be proven wrong herself, even while mo
mentarily piqued, for the very foundation
of a woman's love must rest on the rock
of admiration.
There Is a maternal love In most
women, but It Is quite another emotion
from the great primal Instinct which
causes a woman to select one man from
all the world as her type of the Ideal
protector and friend and comrade.
It Is an Impulse of maternal love to
feel pride and happiness In being the
stronger nature, and In giving pity and
comfort to the weaker child, and to laugh
over Its faults and weaknesses. Every
mother considers herself stronger and,
wiser than her child. But when a wife
is proud and satisfied to think herself
stronger and wiser than her husband she
has not known real love.
She may be the natural mother, but
not the fully developed woman. In every
great love the maternal element must
enter, but It most not be the dominant
element. It Is impossible for a woman
to feel admiration and pride and respect
for a man unless he deserves it; but let
no woman rlose as an Intensely devoted
and loving wife while feeling gratifica
tion and vain pride at being thought "su
perior" to her companion.
And if a man wants to arouse the high
est type of love of which a woman Is
capable let him make himself one to
compel her respect, her admlHatlon and
her love all In one.
By Beatrice
Fairfax
think I could. It Is hard for me to keep
up In my school work, it worries me so.
My parents were always against our
keeping company, - but I loved him and
thought I was old enough to choose for
myself. Please advise me what I should
do. DM DOUBT.
If you ask a return of what you have
given reciprocity, as well as good taste,
would dictate a return of his presents.
As to your marrying some other man and
making him a good homo and yourself
happy, that is for the future to decide,
but the chances are time will heal the
present wounds and you will meet some
one upon whom your affections center
and who will reciprocate. Better remain
single, however, to the end of your days
than marry a man who does not love you,
no matter what your attitude toward
him.
Picturespue Hats
A dress bat of brown velvet has a
fillled edge. The black satin canotler
has a fur pompon. From De Maul, fifth
avenue.
I
From
(1AUHKTT P. SF41Y1SS.
A good definition of man would be
"the picture-making animal." Just as
the school child usually U-glns to draw
ruds figures of men and women, dogs,
cats and horses, as soon as It its com
mand of a slate and a pencil, so In the
childhood of our race the p.rUuial ginlu
of humanity showed Itself by rude dt aw
ing and rough painting made on the
walls of the caverns which were men s
first permanent homes.
Within a few years past a great num
ber of prehistoric cave pictures have
been brought to light, especially In thn
lower slopes of tho Pyrenees mountains,
on both the French and the Spanish
sides, and in the mountains of southern
Spain. The reuder can judge from what
ho sees on this page of the surprising
nature of these pictures maJe by Neoli
thic man centuries before what we call
history began In Europe.
Colonel Wllloughby Verner Is one of
liie latest discoverers of cave pictures
In Spain, and a photograph of them here
reproduced Is due to him.
The pictures are not mere curiosities,
but they throw light upon the char
acter of those ancient representatives of
man and upon the appearance of tho
world at a time so remote that even the
use of Iron, bronze or copper had not yet
been dreamed of. To come upon them
In the gloomy recesses of caverns, which
are often, situated in places not easily
reached. Is like getting an unexpected
view behind a curtain that has not been
lifted for many ages.
The outlines of the drawings are so
like the rude sketches mode by children
that one can at first hardly persuade
himself that they are the work of men
doing their best to picture the scenes
around them, while on the other hand
the drawings are so perfectly preserved
In many cases that It is equally difficult
to realize their enormous age.
In the caves examined and photo
graphed by Colonel Verner the drawings
are usually made with red or yellow
pigments on the light-colored sandstone
of the walls. Sometimes there are two
or throe sets of drawings wnlch have
been made one over tho other with dif
ferent colored pigments. The animals
represented Include stags, hinds. Ibexes,
oxen, horses, wolves, dogs, fishes, birds,
etc., as well as men and women.
A very Interesting circumstance is that
some of the men are represented as
carrying bows. Colonel Verner thinks
that the pictures In one of the Anda
luslan caves were intended - to repre
sent hunting scenes. This la extremely
Interesting, because the same motive is
found in many of the drawings of a muoh
higher artistic eharaoter that were made
by the ancUeit inhabitants of Greece and
of Crete.
By ADA PATTERSON.
He Is a young doctor, ambitious, hard
working, fierce battling, who, when he
Is especially bruised in battle, wants his
wounds healed by sympathy.
Read his story.
wives of men like
him, and draw
your own deduc
tions, I will not
need to draw any
for you when It is
finished.
He told it to me
in a long cross
country drive
through a slow,
depressing rain. He
told me that a day
like that gave an
extra push down
ward to his spirits
when they are
low. Than as
most women and
some men do be talked freely to a semi
stranger of those things that were clos
est to bis heart.
"I work steadily ahead no matter
what comes into my life," he said. "That
is the one settled thing In my life. No
one, nothing, can disturb my routlno
nor interfere with the accomplishment if
my work. Everyone must have hla fe.-t
placed upon one solid substance In this
world of change and mine rest on my
work.
"Uut every man receives hurts In the
fight. He Is cast down in spirit and
wants to be lifted up my sympathy. The
biggest man in the world has moments
of need for gentle appreciation of what
he is trying to do. The strong, t man
wants the wounds that another man has
given to his pride or his hopes eased by
tender understanding.
"I told you that one settled thing in
my life Is my work. The most unsfittleJ
thing in It is my mood. Mercury has
nothing on my spirits in the swiftness
! of its going up and down. And X
! haven't yet gotten used to the fact that
j men stab and slay each other In the
1 name of buMncss and slay each other un
der the guUe of professional ethics.
Ons evening I went himo with my
spirits at tnetr lowest, a man wno nau
been my' friend had uhown that h-i
could not withstand temptation. For a
few dollars he had weakened and be
trayed me and dealt a fearful blow at
my belief in friendship. I told my wife
aoout it. I told her of my utter surprise
and my bitter disappointment. I said:
" 'My dear, I felt so bad about it. I
felt as though, If there had been a gun
in the office I would have blown out
my brains.' What do you think she
raid?
"That a false friend wasn't worth such
grief? That he una a mean, h'.rnd man
to treat her dear boy so, That she had
your favorite dlh ready for dinner and
It would comfort you?
"You arc very far away from the
truth. What she said was, if you feel
that way about it you should have
done it." "
The ruin drove against the windshield
of the automobile. The oold drops chilled
us as those words chilled the heart of
the man who heard.
"Of course," the doctor said after a
silence filled with thought, . "I told her
I Uidn t mean just what I sa d. I had
ji k . f 4
, - I I
the Caveman9 s
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AMi-M .U-?tV'H
K( VA ; UV:':-. ; V
The presence of bows In the Neolithic
drawings of Spanish caves raises the
question of the antiquity of the use of
that weapon. The bows themselves being
made probably of wood could not sur
vive through thousands of years, but
the pictures show that they existed.
As authentlo memorials pertaining to a
no Intention of doing such a thing. Z
tried to sound the depth of my disap
pointment in the matter that she might
understand. I have never since told her
of a disappointment, or of any low moodl
of mine. When I want sympathy I go
to an old friend in New York and get it."
"Another doctor? He will understand
your problems."
His face settled into glim lines.
"Neither a doctor nor a man. It la a
girl whom I knew long before I knew my
wife. She was my chum before my mar
riage. Bhe is my chum again. When I
feel downcast I always go to her. She
sympathizes, comforts and strength
ens me."
"Hut your wife?"
"My wife doesn't know. Bhe Is too
literal minded to understand. I am
faithful to my wife. The girl Is a good,
self-respecting, self-supporting one, pri
vate secretary of one of the money mag
nates. Bhe knows the contests in busi
The Story of Three
Pencil
A photograph
of the
drawings
in the
Andahisian
cavern,
showing
the
artistic
souse
of onr
remote
ancestors
thn so remote that no other form of
history has) survived, and when no great,
lasting monuments like the pyramids had
yet been undertaken, or could have been
thought of, these cave pictures posses
a value and Interest that are almost
unrivaled in the whole range of human
history and prehistory.
ness life. Bhe knows what I meet, and
she knows my nature, and she is sorry."
"But you didn't marry herr
"No. I had known her for years, and
I had always thought of her as I would
of a man who was a good chum. Until
after I returned from my wedding trip,
she met me and so tenderly congratulated
me upon my marriage. An orchestra waa
playing 'The Rosary,' her favorite song.
That was my first realisation that maybe
everything might have been, should have
been different. Ho we have gone on be
ing chums."
"And she Is growing older and la still
unmarried?"
"Bhe Is my age. Yes, I've seen a few
gray hairs since my marriage. When
our baby came she sent him his first
gift, a pair of little shoes (she had
knitted."
"Your wife knew from whom they
earner"
"No, she wouldn't understand."
-wv : a n,-."-. rA '.':', i w i 1
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A Ner Pr-rlos by Sucwraful
Woman on
How I Discovered
Myself
Ccmimnmlor Hooth Tells itrw Rhr
Hune to Work for Good of Other.
Ily MAU HALLIXGTON NOOTH.
Commander of tho Voluntesrs of i
America.
At a very early ago. Inspired by the j
example of my parents, t rave my life to 1
Ood. As yars of msturer undone'.and- ;
Ing rame to r.10. as a natural sequence I '
lookod for the field which offered the '
SrrcatMt nnnrtlintr v tA lltllttit thn !ft
which had been given me and which I
wanted to use for the world's better
ment. I eould see no sphere and could find no
place wher my powers could he better
used than In the movement founded br
my father and mother. This resulted In
my deciding, at the early age of 16, to
follow this field; and It was thus that
my girlish dreams and aspirations wore
Interwoven with the stem, hard facta
and self-forgetting purposes of the
Christian battlefield.
Tho buoyant ambitions of youth, tho
eflthtiMa.tW? ardor of girlhood, the grow
ing conception) of mental capacity were
an tnrnrfl rrora the roseata hnra of life
which usually oocudt the mlrwta of th
young, and wens directed to the sad.
shadowed paths where sorrow and suf-
rertng held out handa of appeal to my
girl's heart and claimed all that I pos
sessed for their alleviation.
A for sucrees. If others war anawwr
Ing this question the mU
the executive and public gifts which hava
enaoiea tna to control and Inflnonoa lanra
crowd of people. The auoreoa I have
gained through thesa ailta I wi
but personally I prefer to lay amphaala
upon two qualities which partaaa rather
of the heart than of tho mind.
I refer to my deep and paaatoraUo krre
of mankind, whk-h haa forreaaed In
fervor with the paaatng of time, and an
Intense sympathy of die-position which
makea It easy for ma to enter Into and
feel, as In my own body, tho Ilia and
heartache of others.
Perhaps I might also mention thorough
ness as a factor in my success. From a
child whatever I turned my attention to
had to be done to the nest of my ability
and knowledge. Nothing else would ever
saUsfy me, and this spirit Is as potent
with me today as It ever was.
As a field or sphere, our work depends
to a great extent on faith. Take the
divine out of our work and you have
the ordinary phllanthropio agency which
la vulnerable to orttlclam and attack.
Work which is of Ood can never be
this, and therefor I believe cannot be
allowed to fall In delivering men and
women from the weaknesses and sins
which ruin their lives and wreck their
spiritual being.
The true Salvationist, the whole world
over, Is distinguished fcy his unswerving
faith, upon which he relies first, last and
all the time.
Am an application to the world at large,
faith in Ood la to me the world's only
hope. It la the one thing that applies
to all classes, all oondltione and all
spheres.
In It la found th solution for all prob
lems, the balm for all wounds, the re
dress for all wrongs, and the sooret of
the universal and ouparalleled suoflnss
with which th alvatlon Army has mot
all around the glob lies In th fact that
It ..a gone to th world with an unalter
able faith la Ood.
To all women I should Ilk to give a
few words of help. Make righteousness
th rul of your llf. and then make
your life tall, wherever It la lived, by
letting It embrace servlo for others. No
life Is complete and no woman Is happy
If bounded by selfish considerations, half
will dwarf and distort the highest and
noblest of natures, whereaa unselfishness
enlarges th character and beautifies the
countenance,
(Th next article In this serieg will be
by Jean Webstar, author of "Daddy
Long-Legs.")
MRS. LYON'S ,
ACHES AND PAINS
Have All Gone Since Taking
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Tcrre Hih, Ta. "Kindly permit nc
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Lycia L. rinkh.ir.i 9
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jKHirxi When I firbt
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female troubles for
eonie timo and bad
Almost all kind of
aches pains in low
er part of back and
in Bi'dea, and press-1
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could not sleep and
rtad no appetite. Sine I have taken
Lydia E. l'inkham's Vegetable Com
pound the aches and pains are all gone
and I feel like a new woman. I cannot
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Auqustus Lyon, Terre Hill, Pa.
It is true that nature and a woman's
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y
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