Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, November 01, 1915, Page 4, Image 4

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    TIIK HEK: OMAHA, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1U15.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
rornvriFD bt ednya.
ROSKWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATK1 :DITOR.
T.s) Bm Publishing Company Troprletor.
KEB BUILDING, FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH.
fntr4il Omh postoffle aa eeord-csi matter.
TkKMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Br rarrler Py mull
per month. Pr year.
snr snd Bundey sc ft uo
pally without Sunday....' o IM
Evening ami Sunday c. too
Fvenlng without Sunday BSo 4.00
Wunday Boa only c 1 00
Pond notice of change of addres or complaints of
Irregularity ta delivery to Omaha B, Circulation
Inrtmnt-
REMITTANCE.
Itnt1t T raft. (pn or po'l order. Only two
cent stamps received In payment of am all ae
eunta. Personal rhwVi, except on Omaha and eastern
aichonge, not accepted.
OFTICES.
Omaha The Be Bsildlng.
South Omaha Alt N afreet
Council Bluff 14 North Mala street.
Lincoln M Lit Building.
Chicago-01 Hearst Building
New York Room 110S, tx Fifth avenna,
St. Louis- KB New Bank of Commerce.
Waehlnrton 7 Fourteenth Bt-. N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE).
?Ldrirea communications relating to imws and edU
orlal natter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Depextineut.
SETTEMBKR CIKCULATIO.
54,663
State of Nebraska. County of Douglas, eat
lw1ght VMihnma. circulation manager of The He
Publishing company bring duly sworn, says that the
average circulation for ths month of September, 191.
u m m.
DWIQIrT WILLIAMS. CIrculaUoa Manager.
Subacrlied In my jceno and sworn to before
no. this let dav of October,
KOBEHT HUNTh.fi, Notary Publl.
Butmcrlbers leaving tho cttf tamponU'Ui
should have The Bee nailed to them. Ad
dree w 111 be changed aa often aa requested.
VoT.rabe 1 u 1
Thought for the Day
5ctf fy florence McAlliafr (
If you kav$ net r failed it's an mn gu$$
You hat Mwr tton a MgK uc.
Edmund VuncA Cook.
It's a long slide between bases from Omaha
to Syracuse.
The teachers who are coming several thou
sand strong will find Omaha's welcome more
cordial than ever.
Twelve days after the turkey season closes
the pork season opens with the democrats hold
ing the frying pan.
An adequate state of preparedness requires
a commodious safety deposit vault to safeguard
republican policies against premeditated theft
Enough shlnplaster currency Is abroad In
Mexico to poultice the wounds of war, but its
curative power Is as feeble as a peso on a
counter at El Paso.
The land boosters of Seattle who sold the
government water-logged lots for a postofflce
site are base survivals of the ancient boomers of
sandlots In the Missouri river at Omaha.
None but "drys" can hope to have Bryan's
support In the democratic primaries, according
to the edict of Brother "Charley." ' Democrats
throwing hats in the ling will please label them
it the cant-off. '
Unless our democratio friends get busy right
(ulck with their scheme to land the democratio
national convention for Omaha folks will be
forced to the conclusion that it was all Just a
little publicity dodge. ,
The local democratio organ delivers Ne
braska republicans to a "favorite son" prenl
tUntlal candidate just like rolling off a log
ttly Nebraska republicans do not always accept
tbi program laid out for them by their demo
cratic friends quite so easy.
Toung Phil Armour, grandson of the original
Phil Armour, has started to work to learn the
meat-packing business "from the ground up.1
The only mistake the young man has made In
executing this commendable plan is In going at
it in Chicago instead of coming out to the Omaha
pant for his experience.
Kansas City has uncovered an odoriferous
scandal In the purchase of special castings at
two prices for its municipal water works from
the uncle of the secretary of Its water board. It
li only fair to say that municipal ownership In
Omaha has not. so fsr as any one knows, de
veloped any such condition here.
The appeal of Manila business men for a
modification of the La Follette seamen's act de
serves serious consideration. Their Interest in
American shipping is intimate and elemental.
Teople on the mainland, absorbed by local af
fairs, may overtook Its Importance. To the cttl
tens of the Philippines the dlssppearance of the
national flag from the Pacific is a commercial
tragedy.
At Kountae Memorial church, the paator. Rev.
J. 8. Detweller, reminded bla congregation that It
was on October li, 1617. that Dr. Martin Luther nailed
hla ninety-five theae on the church door In Wurttecn.
twrg, Germany. 11a then proceeded to preach a nine
teenth century aermon on It.
At the Davenport street MethodUt rnix.i
church, Rey. W. JC Beans, formerly of this city, but
now of Bea trice, substituted la the evening foe Bey.
air. McKai.
Sidetracked at the Union Pacific U a long red car
somewhat resembling an overland lmmin.i .....,
with gilt lettering showing It to be the car of the
United Bute j fuh commission. Newton Blmraona,
special agent of the commission, and Law May of
Fremont are In charge with about U.0U0 fuh In the
car, with which they will stock streams la Nebraska.
"You can all blow your horn about selling meat
cheap, yet you know very well that E. A. Marah of
the Washington market will not be undersold."
the price he advertises are. best cut of sirloin and
poneruouse, in cent a pound; beat rib roast. I centa;
pork chops, I cer,ta; lard. I oonta; bacon, 10 cent.
A roan-lag license waa laaued to Louie C. Jenaes
ana Annie M. Thrane.
Mrs. Holme, the fashionable Kt. Paul dressmaker,
wants the women of Omaha to know aha la now
prepared to receive and suit them all at North Hli
tetiih street
Popular Government it Party Government
The decisive defeat of the constitutional
smendmr-nt for so-called non-partisan elections
In California indicates that the people of that
state, widely Kncvn for extreme radicalism, are
r.ot ready to attempt the dubious experiment of
al olihlng party government. The fact Is that.
1-opular government everywhere Is party govern
ment, not only In this country, but In other coun
tries as well, for the only strictly non-partisan
governments in the world are the autocratic gov
ernments In which the people have no voice. So
far as human experience goes, the only way to
make popular government effective Is through
the agency of political parties snd the only open
question Is whether those parties should be per
manent, representing fixed principles and defin
ite policies, or whether a new party alignment
based on the particular emergency should be
treated for every election.
By the popular verdict Just rendered, Cali
fornia people have decided that they want to
stick to the old established political parties which
mean something, and which can be held respon
sible when entrusted with power and that they
do not want to take a chance with irresponsible
"hlt-or-mlss" personal government, which Is of
questionable effectiveness, except possibly within
certain limited fields, such as the Judiciary snd
the administration of purely local units.
How Many Plowingi?
Has the "fillly" Sunday campaign which has
been concluded In Omaha finished this part of
the program, leaving the follow-up work to be
done by the regular church agents, or Is it but
the forerunner of a succession of revivals by
lesser evangelistic lights and imitators of the
great soul saver? This question Is prompted by
a message" for the readers of the Smnday
School Times, published In Philadelphia, sent by
"Rody" through the local correspondent of that
periodical, In which he says:
"One of the great results of Mr. Sunday's work
la preparing the field for other evangnllata. Com
munities and states get a reputation Just aa Omaha
and Nebraska hav had, for tain Immune to evan
gelistic effort. Ohio had aui h a reputation, but sines
Mr. Runday visited Toungstown, Ohio has been a
fertile fli'ld for evens-Hints. Ho It wna with the east
ern part of the country; there waa llttiex'Rll for evan
gelists In the east and little resulting from their ef
fort until Mr. Sunday broke the Ice, and now nearly
all the evangellsta are working In th east. Yea, this
will be the experience, I am aura, In the points we go
to thla year, but If they respond aa we hope and pray
they will, not only thoaa cltli-s but all the surrounding
country will be Influenced, and for years to corns will
be fertile for evangelistic sowing and reaping."
We observe that revival meetings are already
being held In a number of other Nebraska towns,
In which evangelists of smaller note are doing
the recruiting for an association of churches
organised along the same lines as that behind !
the Sunday revival In Omaha. And with the !
xamnla set hern we have nn rinuht thnv will
meet with a corresponding measure of success.
Dut as for Omaha, we take It that the numerous
churches, with their all-the-year-round pastors
are equal to the task they have assumed, and
that Omaha will not stand In need of another
religious revival for at least some little time to
come.
Borah's Political Horoscope
' Interview la Springfield Kepnbllcan
JfHTICR HUGHES, of the supreme court, will be
nominated by the neat republican convention, un
less he issues a prohibition atronger than any
thing he has yet aald and definitely serves notice on
the party that he will reject the nomination even If
the contention formally selects him." This prediction
was made In this city hy Senator William E. Borah
of Idaho, who In the afternoon had spoken In favor
of woman auffrage In the meeting In the Auditorium,
The earnestness with whlch'Senator Borah made hla
prediction was based, ss he explained, upon the strik
ing cryatalliatlon of public sentiment In favor of
Hughea throughout the west Last spring. In Wash
ington, Senator Borah made a similar declaration to
a representative of The Republican; but last evening
he appeared still more convinced of the matter.
flcnator Borah has himself been widely and favor
hty suggested as the republican candidate next year
and It la on record that Colonel George Harvey of
the North American Review, who long airo picked
Wootrow Wilson for the presidency when most people
didn't know who Woodrow Wilson waa, has similarly
ataked his reputation as a prophet by naming Borah
as the republican nominee In 191. But Kenstor Borah
reasserted last evening that he was not a candidate
and that he did not expect to be a candidate or to
bs considered aa one.
In regard to the candidacy of Senator John W.
Weeks, the senator from Idaho, while not abating
hla statement In regard to Hughes, reported that
Weeks had made a notably favorable Impressions in
the west and had won many friends. Kenator Borah
spoke of having had special opportunity to Judge as
he had been In Spokane, Wash., anion other places,
a short time after Senator Weeks had appeared there.
The only other candidate wtio seems to Senator
Borah to show any strength at thla time Is ex-Senator
Burton of Ohio. Senator Borah declared that Burton's
vigorous fight against waste and graft In river and
harbor appropriations had Impressed the people of
the west a being the work of a strong man. Senator
Borah added, however, that there was as yet no ex
tensive organisation In favor of any one candidate,
but that th spontaneous crystal! lation of popular
opinion In favor of Justice Hushes waa the outstand
ing factor In the situation.
Asked for Ms opinion on the question of military
preparedness, Senator Borah declared himself In favor
of a strong navy as the country's first line of de
fense. He would leave the question of the exact slr.e
of the fleet to the technical experts. He waa dis
tinctly less favorable, however, to any proposition for
a large standing army, believing that a training ays
tern similar to that of Switzerland would be best If
It seemed necessary to have any considerable soldiery
In reserve. He believed that In thcae vlewa as to the
army and navy he was generally supported by western
sentiment. Ho felt that It was possible to maintain
a strong and effective navy, that would command
respect upon the seas, with leas menace of militarism
than would be th case If the country were led Into
the maintenance of a targe standing army.
Sex in War Timei.
Discussion of the case of Nurse Cavell, ex
ecuted at Brussells by the German military
authorities after being convicted of assisting
Belgian and British soldiers to .escape from the
rillltary hospital. Is beginning "to take on tho
form of sex division. The futility of this Is so
apparent as almost to disarm debate. In the
rase of Miss Cavell she sought no consideration
tccause of sex. In her own words, quoted by
ru associate who hat . reached England, she
would "nurse the wounded, but would not be
come their Jailer." She thus assumed an atti
tude of hostility to the Germans, natural enough
for a htgh-splrtted English woman, but placing
ter within the purview of the military's control.
Iter admissions on trial showed her offenses
against the military law to be even greater than
her accusers had been able to prove. This
made the case against her so clear that the
penalty could not be avoided.
So far as protection for her because of her
sex is concerned, In what position would the
adoption of such a rule leave tht military?
Would It not quickly result In the secret service
of the governments engaged In the war being
turned over to women, who would be immune
when taken prisoner? Our Instinctive chlvn'ry
revolts at the thought of sending a woman to
face a firing squad, Just as It does at the thought
of woman engaging In any of the activities of
war. But we have many notable Instances of
the part played by women In war time, both on
the battle line and In the more danrcrous work
of spies, and these women realize they are brav
ing death In their undertakings.
Nurse Cavell waa inspired by a high sense
of loyalty and duty to her country, and for
feited her life as the result. She apparently
did not seek Immunity because of sex while
living, and her manner of death ought to be a
source of pride and comfort to her friends.
Community Good Will.
A notable example of speedy, straightforward
business dealing with an Injured community is
furnished by the Santa Fe Railroad company In
settling the claims growing out of the oil tank
explosion at Ardmore, Okl. In less than a month
most of the personal Injury and death claims
have been adjusted and property damage is now
in process of settlement.
The method of adjustment combines slm
rltclty, economy and celerity. A commission of
five disinterested citizens, agreeable to both
sides, determined the damages and the company
laid out the money. Death claims were deter
mined by the annual earning power of the de
ceased multiplied by the years of expectancy. In
like manner personal Injury damages were deter
mined by the nature of the Injury, and the ef
fect on the victim's productive value. Allow
ances were made for medical and Incidental ex
penses. In all the 500 cases adjusted the full
settlement sums went to the claimant! without
deduction or cost
Measured by results the plan proved emi
nently satisfactory. Claimg were awarded and
laid without delay, litigation was averted, and
the rancor engendered by harassing delays
avoided. The company la the gainer not alone
In the economy of the system, but in the larger
field of community good will.
Both the republican and democratic national
committees have been called to convene to make
preliminary arrangements for their president
nominating conventions. Anybody here seen
any signs of the bull mouse convention?
Twice Told Tales
Baalish of the Diamond.
In th National league la an umpire who is a
stickler for correct deportment on the diamond. In a
gam In which he officiated at the Polo grounds early
In the season, as Chief Meyers, the Indian catcher
tor New York, came to bat. certain of the Boston
players sitting on their bench began to guy the
brawny red man.
In an instant th umpire had left hla place be
hind th catcher and was running toward the visitors'
bombproof.
"Cut out them personalities!" he ordered. "Cut out
them pereonaltlea!" '
As he turned away a high-pitched vote filtered
out from the grandstand behind him, saying:
"Cut out them grammar!" Saturday Evening Post
Wisdom of the Tark. ,
Governor Whitman of New York said In an ad
dress In Albany:
"Politics may perhaps be rotten, but they are cer
tainly not as rotten as th average reformer believes,
"The average reformer thinks that our American
politics are like th politics of Turkey. A traveler,
you know, said to a Turkish official:
" 'And In this country, as In ours, do political of
ficeholders retire at a certain age with a life pension T
" 'Hardly,' th Turk answered. 'Our political of
ficeholders are sufficiently Intelligent, after a few
years of office, to stand In no need of pensions on their
retirement.' "
Talked Shop.
Willy We've got a new Sunday school teacher, and
I don't like htm.
Father Why so, my son 7
Willy He'e Mr. Carver, the butcher, and he talked
shop all afternoon.
Father (surprlsow Talkea shop! What do you
mean?
Willy Why. he talked all about killing th fatted
calf and led like a lamb to slaughter. Puck.
Sasplclona.
"How did this accident happen?" asked the re
porter on the seen of th railway horror.
"Somebody stopped the train by pulling th air
brake cord," answered the conductor, who was among
the survivors "Bo the second section ran Into ua. It
will take alx hours to clear the track so that we can
go ahead."
"Six hours?" screamed a passenger, who had not
yet spoken. "Six hours? But I was to have been
married today!"
"Have you any Idea who pulled th ropeT" con
tinued the reporter, disregarding th Interruption.
"I didn't hav till this minute," whispered th
conductor. "But what's the matter with telling ths
detective to watch that fellow that Just butted InT"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Sa Careless.
A peddler arrived one evening at a very small
town, and went to the only hotel there. Every room
had already been engaged, but ths hotelkeeper of
fered him a room which he could ehar with a negro.
Th peddler agreed, and asked to be awakened early
the next morning.
Several Jokers overheard ths proceedings, and
while the peddler slept blackened his face.
Th next morning, being In a hurry to catch a
train he made straight for the station when he was
awakened. While passing a mirror In the waiting
room he stopped suddenly and exclaimed: "Hang it
sU! They've called th wrong guy!" New York
Time.
Whea Her Face Tracked.
After a day of golfing and an evening of automo
billng. Jane's skin waa Irritated from the combined
effects of sun and wind, so ah itberally cold
creamed" her face and hands and settled herself for
a good night's rest.
In a few minutes her face began to feel stiff and
drawn. "At last" ah thought "the expected has
happened I have paralysis."
Her nervousness Increased when her fingers be
cam unmanageable and her skin began to crack and
snap.
8he hastily turned on ths light and found her
fac alarmingly waxy and shiny. What could b th
cause?
Flnall ah rushed for th tub of cold cream. It
was labeled "Library Pasts." Youth's Companion.
Cast at ('altar.
The eoUege freshman year waa proving very ex
pensive to father, so father decided to hav a "heart-to-heart"
talk with Charles, horns for the week.
"Now, son," said h gravely, but affectionately,
"your mother and I are spending just as little as we
possibly can. I get up la ths morning at :m and I
work until after a. But. son. th money Just won't
go round at ths rat your expenses exs running. What
do you think w had better do?"
For a moment Charles' head was burled In thought
and then he replied:
"Well, father. I don't see ny way out but for
you to work nights." Philadelphia Ledger.
n Bsx
Roansft for The Bee.
PHILADELPHIA. Oct. 30.-To the
Editor of The Bee: I hav received
every copy of The Be during th visit
of my friend Mr. Sunday to your city,
and I wish to thank you sincerely for the
splendid report you have published of
the sermons at the tabernacle.
1 also wish to congratulate you on
such an excellent paper as you give to
the eltliene of Omaha, which In my
opinion Is fully equal In every way to
many of the so-called high class Jour
nals of the cast, and as 1 read the little
text at the top of the editorial column
every day I was still further Impressed
with the high moral standard of The
Bee. BENJAMIN W. GREEK.
Believue Worsted Mills.
t.et All Work Out the Salvation.
OMAHA, Oct. 31. To the Editor of
The Bee: Referring to your article
calling for "Lovers of squirrels to up and
at them," I belong to that class. I also
love all God's beautiful creatures. Why
not shoot all the beautiful men and
m-omen who eat the chickens and turkeys
and Innocent cattle. Oh, yes, and the
eggs. That Is why the dear squirrels
must go.
"Oh that some power the gift could
give ua to see ourselves as others see
ua."
What Is the use of trying to change
God's plan of the universe?
I for one am willing to let all work
out their own salvation.
. F. ANNA COTTRELL.
2302 Laird Street.
Bad After-Mldnta-ht Car Serrlee.
OMAHA, Oct. 81. To the Editor of
The Bee: I think I saw an article In
your paper recently Indicating that ar
rangements had been made with the
atreet railway company so that cars
would always meet or wait for the trains
coming Into the Union or Burlington sta
tions at about 1 a. m., but I find by ex
perience that this Is all a dream as far
as the cars are concerned.
For Instance, I arrived on the 13:55
Union Pacific train Thursday night, and
got up to the street about 12:6S, along
with some thirty or forty other passen
gers, and the only atreet cars which went
north after that time were one for Har
ney street at about 1:06 and one for For
tieth and Cuming street at 1:20. This lat
ter car waited at tho Burlington station
until presumably their last train was In.
The conductor on this car informed
me that It was the last car out for the
night, and that the lost car which went
to Dundee left at 12:55, and that some
times they ran "an extra" when trains
were reported late. As I was going to
Dundee and my train was on time I
missed this car of course and so had
to wolk from Fortieth, while their le
ally there might have been an extra car
to take me home if th train had only
been late.
Now, It is very evident from this that
unless the people all happen to live along
Farnam street this car service Is practic
ally useless, and It leaves Omaha still
In the village close inaofar aa street rail
way facilities are concerned. A.
In Defense of the Rqnlrrel.
OMAHA, Oct 30. To the Editor of the
Bee: Your editorial capped "Squirrel
Lovers, Up and at Them," was read with
much Interest and pleasure. You hav
so aptly expressed my own sentiments as
regards these dear little creatures, that
It leaves very little for me to say.
I love life and respect It as divine. I
cannot give life, therefor I have no
desire nor right to take that which 1
cannot give or restore. I love, the
beautiful In nature and the little squirrel
exemplifies one of nature's most beau
tiful productions. I lovs Innocence and
the squirrel typifies lnnoncenco personi
fied. I love truth and they know no lies or
liypccricy.
I love the light and they bathe In It.
I love the open God's footstool and that
is their playground.
What would be left of nature without
our little fur coaied and feathered friends
to look st, stuiy, love and admire T
Aa to the destruction of theae little ani
mals. It setms to me that a way oould
be provided for to protect the things at
tacked the most by them. They do not
attack maliciously, but for food and shel
ter. Let us therefore assist the little
animals to security against starvation
and the storms and when that is don
their marauding will cease."
J ESSE T. BILLHART,
27UJ Farnam Street.
Deket ration.
OMAHA. Oct. J. The Editor of The
Bee: A beautiful and uplifting bit of
munlo and song has been universally ac
cepted by the people of Omana accepted
In a spirit which. In the main. Is as
beautiful as the music and tons itself.
I do not believe that It la poes ble to
lower the standurd of either the trirlt
or the song by any desecrating use of th
music, but Just the same It Is revolting
to those of us who have felt the Influ
ence and the uplift of "Biigntcn the
Corner" to find It used for dance hall
purposes.
It Is pitiful that there ere people In
Omaha w:th so little appreciation of ths
beet and truest sentiments of the human
mind as tn allow of such us of this
beautiful hymn.
They advertise their crudenesa by such
performance and becme objects of pity
to right-thinking people.
Only small and benighted minds would
ever, turn to questionable use the terms
of religious sentiment and the methods
of its expression. Only disgust und pity
can be felt for them. A. 8. M.
Kunplt of Police Ef Mcteney.
OMAHA. Oct. l.-The Editor of The
Bee: On th night of September 28, 1915,
two masked desperadoes entered my
store st Twenty-fourth and Poppleton.
armed with pistols, with which they ter
rorised both my wife and myself and
robbed us of all the cash, both on my per
san and In the cash drawer. In the course
of the robbery, one of th men. who wss
a negro, rudely Jostled my wife .In such
a menacing way that she could scarcely
refrain from screaming aloud.
After going through my clothes and
forcing ms to empty th cash drawer
into their hands, tn men road their
escape. Although we Immediately noti
fied th polio by telephone of what had
occurred, we despaired of bringing these
outlaw to Justice, because there Is a
considerable area of vacant property in
th vicinity and th railroad yards seem
to afford safe means of escape.
I feel that I owe It to th police de
partment to inAi public th splendid
work don In capturing and bringing to
Justice these men. Within aa Incredibly
short tun th pollc officers were on
th ground, having com to th store
from all directions, attempting to ap
pehend th outlaws before they could
get away. They went to work on the
case Immediately and within four days
had apprehended snd shown to me for
Identification on of the men engaged tn
th robbery. As I had had ample op
portunity V bear the voices and note
the manners and appearance of the men,
I waa able to identify the first captured
positively. Th man refused to confess
and was held.
Vlthln three weeks after the robbery
th second robber, a negro about 16
years old. an ex-convict, was captured,
and I was able to Identify him so posi
tively that he has made a full confession.
It seems to me that the work done by
the police department In my case has
been wonderfully efficient and prompt.
Whatever I may hear careless people,
who have not such on experience, say
about the police. I know that In my case
It would not be possible fo any police
department to act more promptly or ef
fectively than the Omaha police have
done In this case.
MAItTIN DINUZZO.
Twenty-fourth and Poppleton avenue.
Tips on Home Topics
Detroit Free Press: We have now como
to that time of the year when the man
who takes a cold bath every morning
thinks It something to brag about
Boston Transcript: Times are so hard
In thla country now that 40,000 unem
ployed have nothing to do but to go to
a base ball game, and all they have to
spend for two whole hours Is ISO.OOO.
Louisville Courier-Journal: As the
president has a secretary who can search
him now and then for the letters he has
promised to mall there Is no reason why
he should not lead a happy married life.
Indianapolis News: Investigation by
government officials shows that 2T.9,000,OiO
has been taken from the public by fraudu.
lent schemes In the last four years. One
every minute is becoming a too conserva
tive estimate.
Chicago Herald: "What the president
says sbout national defense probably
goes," is a recent significant statement
from Democartic Floor Leader Kitchln
doubly significant because Kitchln him
self la opposed to preparedness.
L0KE3TIC PLEASANTRIES.
"How Is It that big. determined man
stuck to that timid little woman till he
e-ot her?''
Hon for his Iron will." Baltimore Ameri
can. "What do I see? Tils year's rules cut
out husglng In the clinches."
-Horrors! Docs It mean ths new
dances?"
"No; It seems this alludes to prlin
fights."
"What a relief:" Louisville Courier
Journal. Father, tench'ne his t"t-nM sn
arithmetic by giving a problem to Ms
wife, begs his son to listen. Father:
"Mother If you had a dollar and I
gave vou five more, what would you
hr.'e?'!
Mother (replying, absently.) Hysterics.
Brooklyn life. ,
Fald a local newspaper wit to a com
rade In crime. "What was the first
lambasting which Adam got from Eve?"
"1 guess it wns a lamh-chop," answered
the other feebly, after deep and pro
lomred thought.
"Nothing of the kind." chuckled the
first. "It was a rib roast." Baltimore
American.
Mrs. Bacon How many biscuits would
It tike to make ten pounds. John?
Mr. Bacon Well. It all depends on
show Wseulte they were, dear. Yonkera
Statesman.
"I don't believe some of our friends
have a very hi?h opinion of you," re
marked the bride'a mother.
"Why. look at all the beautiful
Dre Bents."
"Yes. But there are eighteen silver
card trays. They must think you aren't
going to do a thing hut sit around and
talk to company." Washington Star.
DUY IT IN OMAHA
It
To C
Fast trains daily from Omaha
arrive La Salle Station and
Englewood Union Station,
most convenient locations in
Chicago.
"Chicago-Nebrasta Limited" at 6:08 p. n
Chicago Day Express" - at 6:30 a.m.
"Chicago-Colorado Express" at 4:10 p. m.
"Rocky Hountain Umited" at 1:09 a. m.
Automatic Block Signals
Finest Modern All-Steel Equipment
. Superb Dining Car Service
Tickets, icservationa and information at
Rock Island Travel Bureau. Phone,
write or call
J. S. Melt ALLY. ClvUloa Paasgr Agent
1323 Fames St, Oataha, Moa.
rkoaai Ooaglas 428
f
or
COUNTY FAIR
"ft I
A comfortable breakfast I
starts the whole day right.
PERFECTION
iMOKELE?0Jj HEATER
Be sure to get Perfec
tion Oil.
STANDARD OILCOMPANYf5&Vv
OnaaU I , fit if
v
"SO,