TITK OMAnA SUNDAY BEE: OCTOBER 3, 1915.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSKWATKR.
VICTOR ROBKWATER. EDITOR.
The Rn Publishing Company. Proprietor.
PKB BUILDING. FARNAM AND gKVENTFgNTH.
Entered at Omaha poetofflo ecnd-c1ass mttr.
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orncES.
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CORRESPONDsTNClO.
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torial matter to Omaha Pee, Editorial Department.
SEPTEMBER 6LTSDAY CIROULATIOX,-
47,889
Stat of Nrrsk. County (if Dowgla. .:
Dwirht Williams, clrcuhitlon imntcr, says that
the aver; Runflar circulation ftir tha month ' f
September, 1MB, wa 47, m.
1 WIGHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manarar.
Subscribed "In my presence and awom to before
me, thla Jt day of October, 116.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Publle.
Bobaci tbra Ira Ting the city temporarily
should have Tha I lee mailed to them, Ad
dress will be changed as often a reqnwted.
- October a
Thought for th Day
"Thtnk for thyttlf, cm god idta
But koun to be thin own,
It bitter lhan a lAotuand clean i
From fltldi by cthert sown."
-J)
Please take note that It is still far aide.
Twenty-one yean of Ak-Sar-Ben Is another
example of where age does not wither.
With "Billy" and Ak-Sar-Ben doing team
work, Omaha ought to be Just Irresistible this
coming week.
According to the report of that convention
of "drys," "Brother Charley" Bryan is not only
rldfng on that water wagon, but Insists on driv
ing It fclmselft
To our friends and patrons who have helped
make this special Ak-8ar-Ben edition of The Bee
such a fine number we want to express apprecia
tion and thanks.
But what became of those 600 delegates
whom Governor Morehead appointed and com
missioned to represent Nebraska in the Farm
ers' National congress T v.-
All quiet at the state house! No new Inter
change of courtesies between the governor and
the treasurer, and no feminine halr-pulltng
match for several days. ,.,..-
No, inquisitive stranger,' Omaha has sot
rented the space between the court house and
the city hall for a lumber yard merely putting
up reviewing stands for the Ak-Sar-Ben parades,
It would seem that no great harm would be
done It Dr. Dumba's place were not filled at
once, and an efficient charge d'affaires were to
carry the messages back and forth as temporary
ambassador.
In, re-electing Mayor Rolph for a second term,
Pan Francisco recognized and rewarded merit.
Mayor Rolph has a record of welcoming speeches
which, pinned together, would belt the continent
with vocal diamonds.
The policy of watchful waiting as applied to
Mexico was publicly and officially discarded by
the president some weeks ago, but It will take
a microscope to discover a difference In the pol
icy that has been substituted for it.
. The new buildings going up In Omaha Im
press the stranger mightily with the progress
and activity of the city, and more particularly
with the confidence of our own people In
Omaha's future. Confidence Is the cornerstone
of every new structure and every new business
venture.
Another place where the odious fee system
survives Is in our Insanity board. There is no
good reason why the county attorney, or one of
his deputies, should not serve) as the legal mem
ber of the board without extra cost to the tax
payers. And why should the examining phys
ician's stipend be based on the number of men
tal wrecks sent to the asylum? Here Is a chance
for an over-due reform.
X
SLrTiTaT
Word cam by wire of the erection of Nebraska
Into a aeparata dlocea of tha Catholio church Willi
XJIshop O'Connor as bishop. Tha apoatollo reatdeo.ee
ta to be kept In Omaha, and Uia dlocee wUl be under
tha arch-dtoeeae of BL Lou la, over which Archbishop
Kenrick presides.
A meeting1 of tha horaeopathlo physician decided
to tablUh free dispensary at 1420 Dodge street,
those Interacted la th enterprise being Ore. (X &
Wood. C. O. Spregua, W. H. Hanchott. C. M. Dine
more, B, W. Connell, W. H. I'areona. II A. Wortey,
klra. Hreckenrldge and Mrs. Burroughs.
Brtsadler General J. Ed Smith has been appointed
by tha ommander-ln-cMef of tha union, veteran army
of tha United BtaU to be major seaerai la charge
at Nebraska, and to establish headquarter as soon
as practicable In Omaha.
Mrs. U it. NUee and Mrs. C. W. Drek and danH
ter of Cincinnati, who bate been tha guesta of the
fclisaea Nllea. have returned noma.
Win Tony Mets and Vllsa Clara Bchroeder are back
from, a visit in I'enver.
Vhe latest wrinkle la church eotartaiiunent la a
melon aocial1.' held aa aa lunoeaUoa at tha real
6cnr of John W. Cay, by tha ladia of tike steward
t uett Jdetbodict Eplscoiai ohurca
Ak-Sar-B&n's Twenty-First Reception.
King Akv8ar-Bn XXI will enter his capital
city this week, the event marking the attain
ment of mabhood majority by an Institution that
has carried the name of Nebraska to the four
corners of the world. It Is a season of relaxa
tion and rejoicing, the people are In mood for
the holiday and all conditions invite participa
tion In the fun. Ak-Sar-Ben Is a Joyons and a
jovial ruler, whose reign has been marked by an
era of steady growth and uninterrupted
prosperity.
While at first conceited as an Omaha insti
tution, Ak-6ar-Ben soon outgrew that, and for
many years has been recognized as part of the
life of the state. Omaha foots the bills, but the
people of Nebraska all share In the benefits, and
this is as it should be. Nebraska and Omaha
have moved upward and forward together In the
twenty-one years since Ak-Sar-Ben was born,
and are still going on to greater and better life.
The part of Ak-Sar-Ben has had in this advance
Is beyond calculation, bnt Its Influence Is un
doubted, and It means more for the future than
It has for the past.
Therefore, "All hall to Ak-8ar-Ben XXI."
Great Britain's Plea in Aroidanoe.
Earl.Orey, foreign secretary for the British
government, has Just entered a plea In avoidance
In the case pending between his government and
the United States concerning the unwarranted
Interference by the British neutral overseas
commerce. Ills note does not answer the point
raised by the United States, nor does It contain
facts to Justify the policy adopted by the Allies
In the order In council, promulgated in Febru
ary of this year. It was to' be expected that the
trade of the United Kingdom would decrease In
some regards, and In none would It increase as
rapidly, or to the extent of that of the United
States. Entrance Into the war precluded any
possibility of British shippers engaging as ex
tensively in foreign trade as they might It their
country had remained at peace with the world.
The crux In this case, however, Is the right
of neutral nations to traffic freely between
themselves and between the unblockaded ports
of nations at war. The British government Is
among the signatories to the Declaration of
London, which specifically seta forth the condi
tions under which such traffic may be carried
on, and the provisions of which are contravened
by the order In council. If Great Britain has
any complaint to make regarding the disposition
of goods shipped from this country to Scandi
navian countries, or to Holland, it Is against
those countries. In the American meat cases,
recently decided, the president of the admiralty
court of Great Britain held that surplus ship
ments to European neutrals afforded only pre
sumptive and not conclusive evidence of enemy
destination. Even were it adopted as conclu-t
slve proof, the point Is still against the British,
for It does not justify Interference with Amer
ican trade in order to prevent the Scandinavians
or Dutch from trafficking with .the Germans.
To admit the British contention on this
point would be at least unneutral on part of the
United States and such action is 6ut of the ques
tion We' are seeking only the rights of JSeu--trals,
and must accept no less as a satisfactory
settlement.
, Disappearing- Difference.
1 Have yon wondered at tha passina- of tha "Way
Down et'r tyea of play the kind where tha farwar
la eomethlng- of a Joker Maybe tha answer la that
be Isn't tha Joka ha used to be. . We notice ha drives
the aame kind of auto you do, and sometimes we sus
pect ha has mora money, la tha bank. Ttiese thin
make a hlsr Impression oa 'town-fad playwrlfhts.
Colller'e Weakly.
The thought here suggested could be easily
elaborated in many ways, for, In a word, it
merely calls attention to the fast disappearing
difference between farm dweller and city in
habitant once so sharply accentuated. It Is not
only that the farmer drives the same kind of
auto that attracts our attention or rather falls
to attract our attention but that he dresses In
the same kind of clothes, enjoys the same house
hold comforts, reads the same books, magazines
and newspapers, keeps In as close touch with
current events, sends his children to the same
schools and colleges, and travels almost as much
for business and pleasure. Perhaps the farmer
does not go to the theater as often aa the city
nan, but If he did he would enjoy the same sort
of shows, so that the play which makes the
farmer a "Joke'' would be still less popular.
Conditions of town and country Ufa could not
be so noticeably equalised without bringing
closer together the type of farm habitant and
o city dweller.
The Rising Cost of Money.
The conclusion of negotiations for the
Anglo-French credit loan In this country draws
attention to the rising cost of money due te war.
A marked tendency In that direction was
noticeable for several years before the war, and
many high-class securities were advanced ' by
steady pressure from 3 hi per cent to 4 H and 5
per cent. War's pressure far outruns ordinary
economic forces and already has set a new high
level of money cost.
The 6 per cent which the credit loan will net
Investors is not extraordinary as war loans go.
In the second and third years of the civil war
the government issued bonds and treasury notes
bearing 6 per cent, and the necessities of the
last ten months of that war forced the govern
ment to pay 7 per cent. Japan paid 8 per cent
straight, exclustv of discount, for the greater
part of its borrowings during the war with Rus
sia. The dally cost of these wars, though con
sidered staggering at the time, are trifling com
pared with money cost of the present glgantlo
struggle.
Up to September 1 the war has added
tlT, 000,000,000 to the debt of the na
tions engaged. This means a monthly wastage
of $1,300,000,000. As the struggle broadens
and grows in Intensity the cost Is bound to In
crease and the demand for money will drive the
cost upward.
No one can foresee the end of the war or
estimate the financial wastage it will entail.
When the end does come the demand for money
Is not likely to diminish. Enormous amounts
of capital will be needed to restore destroyed
property and revive the Industries and activities
of the country swept by armies. All these
forces work for the benefit of the money-lender.
The United States cannot wholly escape the
effect of the financial pressure In Europe, which
clearly foreshadows an Indefinite era of dear
money.
y YiOTom nvoenrwam.
Thla Is part af a saafaalae eaUele
perttaaat te a bow effaia live ewbjeet.
WitBM the national committee convene each city
bidding for tha convention preaenta throualt it
apokeamen eorent anrumente why It should have
tha preference. Moat of these arguments relate to tha
physical well being and convenience of tha delegaUa
and convention crowds, and the proper equipment ir
tha expedition and tha transaction of tha burlneas on
which thoy will be called. For with tha vast espan
Ion of the country and Its r rowing- population tha
national convention of fbday has become of mastodon
proportions aa compared with the pigmy sla of tha
early years. Each convention of tha two great partiea
now co run els of approximately l.mo delegates and 1,000
altematea, while tha officers, press eorreapondenta.
special guet, spectators and camp followere are esti
mated from to ino.flno, of which at beat only a
small part can actually be wltneea to tha proceedings.
Firet-Though there Is properly no first nor 1ast
the railway faollltles to bring thla vast army together
and take Ita constltusnt part to their homee after tha
close of tha eonvantiou are absolutely essential. No
one-road town could funnel folka In that number In
and out with saUefaetory promptness in tha altotted
time.
, Becond After tha detegalee and crowds sra as
sembled they must be decently housed and fed: thev
must be permitted to sleep, eat and drink and pursue
cleanliness and seek amusement. The convention ex
tends at least ever the greater part of a week, but la
in uton aa a nsla only a few hours each day. En-en
If all Jhe stranger wars able to attend, which they
are not. they would hav to be provided for when
the convention la not In session. It Is the hotels and
restaurant, refreshment places, baths, theaters, etc ,
that must be In requisition, and the city best sup
plied with these faollltles will usually be overtaxed.
Third A suitable and safe convention hall must
be available. National conventions have been held
In times past In all sort of meeting places ball room,
opera house, armory, exposition hatl.wlgwam tent and
coliseum. Of late, however, more exacting require,
menta hav been met an auditorium of fairly flre
proof construction, capable of seating the 2.000 dele
gates and alternates on one floor level, and of holdinn
altogether from 13.000 to U.000 or U.00O people, with lot
Impossible aooustio pmpertlea, within walking dWaneo
of main hotels and aaaily reached by street car, would
answer description. In tha convention that nomi
nated Cleveland was held In a tent pitched on Chi
cago' lake front In 1900 the Audltorlm In which
Kansas City wa to house tha democratic convention
burned a few weeks prior to the data, but a new and
mora commodious building waa at ones erected In lla
place and ready at tha appointed time.
Fourth Tha crowds on the floor and in the gtUIer
lea are not the only one attending the convention;
the whole newspaper reading public throughout tha
length and breadth of the land and over seaa encir
cling tha globe wherever civilized nations exist, are
present by proxy in tha person of th press repra
nntatives. The proposal has even been advanced In
all aeriouanesa to shut out all the spectator except
the newspaper reporters In tha Interest of expediting
business, and for th protection of the delegates from
outside Influences, and of relying on tha press to dis
seminate accounts of what is happening aa minutely
and graphically aa need be. Whether this doubtful
expedient la ever adopted or not. th proper aocommo
datlon of tha press gallery Is fundamental; It would
be useleaa to hold a convention, write a platform and
nominate a presidential ticket unless the news of it
could b gotten out 1
' Fifth Financial safeguards for the legitimate ex
pense of th convention must b provided. Aa the
convention city reap th profit of money spent by
delegate and visitors, so It 1 expected to foot th
bills. Tha customary way la ta raise a guaranty fund
and deposit It to the credit of a local treasurer author
ised to meet obligation as they arise. For 19ng Den
ver put up 11(10,000 for the democrat, aa did also Bll
roore In Mi, while Chicago Insured without limit
whatever outlay might b necessary for the repub
licans said to have called for about t7t,000. Tha rang
of expenditure covers hall rent music, decoration,
ticket, printing, badge, eaJarle of paid employes
and personal expensea of office rr In charge.
Sixth Sentimental and political reasons may be
urged for a particular convention location. The repub
lican went back to Philadelphia in 1900 to celebrate
the completion of the first half century of the party's
existence In the same place where th start had been
made. Tha democrat fixed upon Bt Lcula for their
convention In 1904 In order to enable those attending
to take In tha Louisiana Poroheae expoaUlon at tha
same time. Political considerations, however, are fao.
tor In the choice much mora often, upon the theory
that one city may be better tor a particular candidate
than another or that the award of the convention mny
help bring In the electoral vote of the state thus
favored, or at leaat serve to allay factional difference
and encourage the party leaders to unite In a more
vigorous onslaught on the political enemy.
To what extent these expectations are actually real
Ued Is a deoldedly open question. The democ ratio
convention of 1W0 went to Charleston, while the lower
ing cloud of civil war were gathering, with the hope
and design to permit the southern alav state to con
trol, and yet It quickly split on th rock and both
wlnge found It advisable to adjourn to Baltimore to
finish their work. To tha fact that the republicans
assemble that year In Chicago Instead of In a city
east of tha Allagneate is undoubtedly due the nomi
nation of Llnooln Instead of Seward. Tha Cincinnati
convention In IffM named Hayes after Blaine wa
beaten out largely because of local Ohio surroundings
and Harrison likewise enjoyed an advantage of prox
imity to bom folka In tha Chicago convention that
nominated him In 188. The ohoioe of Chicago for tha
last republican convention was hailed aa a victory
for "th allies" against Tart who had no prospect of
support from Illinois, but It did not prove to be so.
Ketther Is It possible for the convention location ta
be definitely measured In electoral vote. Although
the republican favored Bt Loul In 1x96, Missouri
want democratlo a usual, but when the democrats
held their convention there In ISM Missouri, for th
first tlm In over a third of a century, went republican.
Th competition for th republican convention In l9us
Uy between Kansa City and Chicago, and had there
been any assurance that the electoral vote of Missouri
could have been thus coaxed to the ticket the de.
clalon would certainly have been reversed, becaua no
one regtu-ded Illinois aa even debatable. Colorado, it
Is true, gave Ita vote to the democratlo ticket afte.
the democratlo eonventlon had been held In Denver,
but the relation of cause and effect la uncertain!
Where the nominating convention of all th great
parties are brought to th same city It goes almost
without saying that they would naturally neutraUi
oa aaother. so far as appreciation and reciprocity
in the form of gratitude vote ar concerned.
Twico Told Tales
Prwetf of Qreaf Lvw,
The topio having turned to the queatlo of love,
thla appropriate aneudot was recalled by Maurice Cos
tal lo, the actor;
John Henry and Maud Marie were engaged to be
married. One evening they attended a dance, a ad
during a reatful moment amidst th papier maclt
pa Una he gaaed at the dear one with much devotion.
"Sweetheart," he finally asked, "do you really and
truly love mar
-Why, of course I do, Illy," wa th prompt re
joinder of Maude Marie. "Haven't I danced with yoj
alx tlmea already thla evening?"
"Yea," slowly admitted John Henry, "but what
proof of your love if there In that?"
"The anuat kind of proof," replied Maude Marie.
Tow would realise It If you only knew how you
danoa." Philadelphia Telegraph.
SECULAB SHOTS AT rUlPTT.
Boston Transcript i If Dr. Hlllla would
Ilk to know how te oombin preaching
with money-making why doesn't h aak
Rev. William Sunday?
Springfield Republican: There are many
old men loader In th walk of peace
a well aa at the heads of the great Eu
ropean armies. Rev. Dr. Aaron Edward
Ballard, president of the famous Ocean
Drove (N. J.) camp meeting and also of
the Pitman Orov meeting, ha Juat had
his salary raised after forty-two year
In th first named office. He la In his
srth year. Only a year ago he spent eight
weeks with a broken leg In a hospital.
Philadelphia Record: Rev. Charlca
Flake, D. D of a Protestant Episcopal
church In Baltimore, about to be conse
crated coadjutor bishop of central New
Tork, wa one a newspaper reporter. He
worked on three New Tork pnpers.
Bishop Burch of New Tork is also a
graduate of a newspaper erne. The lata
fclsbop McLaren of Chicago was In early
life a aucoeaeor to "Artemua Ward" on a
Cleveland paper. Dr. McColI of the Sec
ond Presbyterian churoh In thla city is
another reporter who has advanced to
high honors la his own communion.
New Tork World: In Plymouth church,
waa Dr. H111U llfawork. The far timber
wllda he could know only by report of
agent. In Brooklyn wa th task and
the great opportunity that be knew at
first hand, with hi own eyes and ears
hi sole informant To at&nd ia that
high place, to be the moral leader of hla
great congregation of highly Intelligent
cltlsens In no mean city wa net that a
career big enough and fine enough for
any man of Dr. Hulls' profession? When
a clergyman divide attention between
church and speculation one Interest must
suffer. If both do not suffer In tha end
hi friend may call him fortunate.
WHITTLED TO A POINT.
Suspicion ar often won than facts.
Nothing flatters a foot so much as ask
ing his advice.
And every Sunday Is decoration day
with the fair sex.
A man I apt to feel girlish when ha
Is making hla maiden speech.
Every man knows worse of himself
than he know of other men.
A good cook should bo at th head of
every provisional government
Happy la he who leta himself owe no
man and lota no man owe him.
No man ever lived long enough to get
even with thla big world of ours. .
It sometime happens that a voman'i
hair is a bit of fiction founded on fact
The real secret of many a man's suc
cess lies in doing a thing and talking
about It next week.
The girl who doesn't use slang may
be more attractive than the one wno
docs, but aha la lea numerous.
Every time a woman Injects an ex
clamation point Into her conversation
he gathers momentum for a fresh
tart.
When a email boy beglna to waah his
face without being told Be 1 passing
through the ordeal of his first love af
fair. Many a woman who doesn't object to
cigar smoke before marriage draws the
line at a pipe before the honeymoon baa
feegun to slump tha alumna, Chicago
News.
TABLOIDS OP SCIENCE.
A German edantlat has succeeded In
curing canosr In lower animal by Inject
ing Into their blood solution of th salts
of tellurium and selenium.
A French .doctor, who he investigated
the matter, state that man employed In
th Part sewers are aa healthy aa the
average person and no ether 800 men In
the city are so free from symotia dls-
Japenese aclentlats are searching for an
explanation of an apparent relationship
between the frequency of earthquake at
Tokio and tha amount of rainfall and
snowfall In other parts of the empire.
One-seven-hundredth part of a grain
of radium will thoroughly fertilise a ton
of soil, and cause grain to grow with
great rapidity. Where thla experiment
has been tried. It has been noticed that
all the leave becom very dark. Radlahea
and carrots raised In this soil grow to
six time their usual weight
Once a bullet finds a lodging In the
body It can now be localised In a few
minutes by mean of the X-rays and
quickly extracted. "It I all done In a
few minute." ear a aa expert, "rive aeo
ond for a wound In th hand, thirty
seconds for on In the foot and ten to
fifteen minute for a wound In the abdo
men." Captain Bugene Bouraaaa, a military
offloer In Montreal, who In private life
control a clothing store, state that the
war ha caused among hla patron an
average expansion of cheat measure from
thlrty-tx to forty lncha. Thl I truo
not only of thoa in active service, but
of all th citlsen. H explain It on
th ground that ail too men are mentally
and phyaioally preparing for service now
or In tha future.
ABOUND THE CITIES.
Cleveland will start the second week
of the new year with an auto show.
Philadelphia' publlo charge last year
cost the city 133,000 In the single item
of coat
The wet and dry question will have a
try-out at the Polls in Minneapolis, next
Tuesday.
Lawrence, Kan., I entertaining th So
ciety of American Indiana, full-bloods and
half-breeds.
Ths new stat eapltol at Salt Lake City
la about finished, and the scattered etate
offloer ar moving- In.
Four hundred bualnas men of Kansas
City ware called to court last week,
charged with neglecting to pay their oc
cupation tax when due.
Thirteen years sgo the borough of
Brooklyn went Into oourt to save f74.7v7
oa th cost of a disposal plant The city
won. but th litigation coat U4.000,
Th Associated Cbarltle of Da Moines
ha requested ISO citlsen to underwrite
the society winter work to th extent
of tltOOU Last year guaranty amounted
to 110.000.
San Franclaco expoatlon managera, an
ticipating bad weather during November,
are laying by a "rainy day" fund. The
treasurer salted tJ0 during September
and expect to raise It to $500,000 by the
end of October.
New Tork had barely recovered ita
breath from the ohock of tha street
cave-In when a aeoond shock earn Into
view and daaed a multitude. It was a
feminine feahloa show of six willowy
gasella clad In what dainty paopl call
"bifurcated nether garment. " In a simp
ler word pantalettes. Persons of both
sexes literally fought to get aezt the
mean thing
People and Events
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
Frank Kurtx, a nttebunrh motorman.
Is one of iuck'a favorites. He stuck to his
post when hla car, empty, Jumped off a
bridge and eomesaulted to the railroad
tracks, ninety-two feet below. He es
caped with two fractured ribs.
Mrs. Else, Buck of Brooklyn, N. T., un
intentionally showed rhe had the needful
talent for a first rate policewoman. Armed
with a feather duster she rha.ed a sneak
thief tlx blocks, raised several liumpa on
hla crownsheet and turned him over to
a policeman.
Two Chicago lawyer unable to agree
on the split of office expenses Involving
H0 40, went into court and played the
game In the usual way. In some Inex
plicable way they were stuck for $16 at
the flnlah. but they left the county hold
ing the sack for a $36 Jury and a $10,000
Judge.
Singing folk songs, whistling snatches
from the opera and counting up to twenty
are among tha accomplishments of 20-month-old
Ellen Donahue, baby daughter
of Melville J. Donahue of Detroit To
show her neutrality, due to the influence
of a Oerman nurse In a Celtic family,
little Ellen sings "(Mother Machree to the
stirring refrain of "Flleg, Adler, Flleg."
While recuperating from the strain of
a $60,000 breach of promise trial W. Stan
ley Newhall of Lynn, Mass., champion
amateur basket ball player, participated
In a mock trial and wa sentenced to
marry Miss Freda Olson, the young
woman plaintiff In th real trial. The
Joke wa taken aerloualy, th engage
ment of the couple la announced and the
Judgment will remain In the family, minus
costs.
For the second time Chicago banquetted
a distinguished lord last week. Lord
Reading, -a member of the Anglo-French
commission, wa the guest of honor. Lord
Coleridge, British chief Justice, ws the
guest on the first occasion and Emory
Btorre the toaatmaatcr. The dinner was
delayed some time becaua an unpaid
tailor filed a lien on the banquet When
at last the eatables and drinkable were
disposed of Mr. Btorrs started the post
prandial oratory with thla remark: "Gen
tlemen," he said, bowing to Lord Cole
ridge, ' so far as I know this is the first
time the Lord's supper ha been seised."
' .Miss Fliphty made all her money r
lettrrs."
She doesn't look literary."
"She Isn t. She won a breach ol
promise suit with cm." Ksltlmore American.
MUSINGS OF A CYNIC.
An Iron will needn't necessarily be a
Pig Iron one
Many a man has capital Ideas with
other people's capital. ,
Mighty few people get Indigestion from
swallowing their pride:
Many a man who lives to a ripe bid
age Is still pretty green.
AH flesh I grass, which Is more than
can be said of all widow.
You can't make head or tail of some
people till you tons them.
Life la full of uncertainties, even to
people who expect the wort.
Even when they stand In their own
light some people stand pat.
Don't hide your light under a bUBhel.
Use it to conceal your faults under.
The man. who has hla nose to the erln.
atone doesn't always sharpen his wits.
Many a fellow paints the town who
wouldn't even whitewash his own fence.
Tou never can tell. Many a man haa
starved In a garret who wasn't a genius.
The command. "Thou ahalt not kill"
Is applied by most peopl to their own
chances.
The only time aome people aim ac
curately is when they throw bouquets at
themselves.
Pullman Porter Next stop Is yo" ata
tlrm, e.th. Shall I brush yo' off now?
Morton Morose No; It is not necessary
When the train stops I'll step off. Judgf
"I have a dreadful row every time 1
ask rnv husband for a lltt'e money."
"Vpiir system In all wrong, my dent
Ask him for a lot of money. Then he 1
be g'al to compromise on a little." Bos
ton Transcript.
"flood heavens, John, what made yo"
flck out such an uglv woman to sen 1
ionic? she scared the baby almost Int"
fits."
"Just did what you told me. Marin
Ton snid you wnnted a plain cook an. I
I got the p'a nest one to be had." Balti
more American.
KABIBBIE
KABARET
pAA AR.KABIB&leT
WHAT IS THE" PROPER TIME 10
$fflpHK?iT"-rpvwr nANcr:
djAaAAl
Cnrai afi V lmi MxJ THAT HE
THINKS TWO CAW LIV8 A5 CHCftf
AS ONE
"AI rlitht behind there?" called tha con
ductor from the front of tha oar.
"Hold on." cried a shrill voice. "Walt
till I get my olothes on!"
The passengers craned their neck x
pectantly. A small boy waa struggling to
get a basket of laundry aboard Puck,
Friend I see you hav turned your
wires picture to the wall. Isn t that
rather disrespectful?
Widower No; it eeems more natural.
Tou see, most of my time at horn I
spent in buttoning her up th back.
Life.
A RETURN.
Robert Buchanan.
Seven pleasant miles by wood, and
stremm end moor.
Seven mile along the country road that
wound
Tphlll and downhill In a thin, rad line.
Then from the forehead of a hill, behold
Lying below me, sparkling ruby-like
The villa gel quaint old gables, roof of
thatch.
A glimmering splrs that peeped above
the firs.
The suneet lingering orange-red on all.
And nearer, tumbling through a mossy
bridge
The river that I knew! No wondrous peep
Into the feary land of Oberon.
Ita bowers. Its glow-worm lighted colon
nades Could weigh upon th city wanderer's
heart
Witli peace so pure as this! Why, yonder
stood,
A fledaling' downward flight beyond the
spire,
Tho gray old manse, endeared by
memories
Of Jean, the daughter of the minister;
And in the cottage with the painted sln
Hard by the bridge, how many a winter's
night 4r
Had I with politicians. , sapient-eyed.
DlHCiissed the country's latest news.
Tile very gig before the smithy door,
The barefoot lassie with tho milking pall
lauslng and looking backward from the
bridge.
The last rook wavering homeward to the
wood.
All seemed a sunset picture, every tint
Unchanged. .
There came a rural muslo on my ears
The wagons in the lanes, the waterfall
With cool sound plunging in its wood
nest wild.
The rooke and the windy rookery.
The shouts of children, and far away
The crowing of a cock. Then o'er the
bridge
I bent, above the river gushing down
Through mossy boulder, making under
neath Green-shaded pools, where now and then
a trout
Sank In the ripple of It own quick leap;
And like some olden and familiar tune.
Half-hummed aloud
Troubloualy, faintly, came the buzz of
looms.
3 PS,
Premium Demonstration Sale,
Tho Groat
Majestic Range
Beginning Monday. October
11th, we will show the Great
Majestic Range in actual oper
ation. We will show you the
range running at baking heat
using a stove pipe made, of
common wrapping paper, prov
ing thereby that the Majeetlo
conserves the fuel and that the
products of combustion do not
escape up the chimney.
With each range ordered during this exhibition week, tha
Majestic factory will give an
$8.00 Set of (itchenv.are Free
The range will not cost you a penny more. Tou don't even
have to take it at once. Simply place your order and make a small
payment to bold the range.
Remember, the Majestic is the only range on the market made
from Oouloo Charcoal Iron. You're tired of the way steel ranges
go to pieces, are you not T Well there's only one remedy. Buy the
Majestic which contains no trrey iron or steel. Made entirely from
charcoal and malleable iron. Come in and be shown. Tour Malt
will be appreciated whether you buy or not. Remember the date
week October 11th to 3 6th.
JOHN HUSSIE HARDWARE CO.
2407-9 Cuming Street Douglas 1116
"If you buy it of Hustle, it's right,"
1 : "sV , ' 1
i
Andre Maquarre
olo Flutist of th Boatoa Bym.
phony Orchestra, write as fol
lows oonoarain; the
LlASOli S HAMLIN
PIANOS
I have watched with much In
terest the constant growth of th
Maaon A Hamlin Piano as uu
artistic instrument, until, today. 1
believe It la not only unequal,
but that It surpasses anytning in
world haa yet aen in artlattc
piano construction.
Vour great Invention, Th Ta
alon Resonator. 1 undoubtedly a
factor in your remarkable achieve
ment, and 1 heartily congratulate
you on th new artiatlc standard
you hav set.
t Signed) ANDRE MAQUARJtal
A. IIOSPE CO.
azcxvvsrra as
i