THK BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, JULY 26, 1015. THE OMAHA DAILY BEE roUNPKP BT EDWARD ROSKWATKR. VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR. The Bee Publishing Company. Proprietor. EKE BUILDING. fARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH. ITntered fct Omaha poetofflee aa aeoond-eless matter. IEHMS OF AUBflCRIPTlON. Br carrier P-r mall par month. par year, Vefl eM Sunday e t rllr without Sunday....'........ eVo 4 o Fnlng and Sunder .. ....... no Evening without Sunday...! Ka. 4 00 lunday Ra only e 1 on Fend notice of change of address er complaints of Irregularity la delivery to Omaha. Baa, Circulation re pertinent. RiMITTANCB. Remit Vr draft, axpreee or poatat order. Only two. cnt stampe received In payment of email ee counts. Personal cheeks, except on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. omen Omaha The Bm Building. South Omaha Sis N street. Council Bluffs 14 North Main street. ttncoln Litre Building. Chtego-fn Hearst Building New York Room 1W, 4 Fifth avenue, Pt Louta tut New Hank of romnwrp Washington Fourteenth St.. N. W. CORRE8PONDENCB. 'Address communications relating to nwa and edi torial matter to Oman Baa. JKdltorlal Department, JUXE CIRCULATTOX. 53,646 btete or Nebraska, County of Douglas, aa: Dwlrht Williams, rlrrulatlon manager of Tha Bee Publishing rompeny, being duly sworn, says that tha average circulation for tba month of June, ISIS, waa i!M DWIOHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager. Subscribed in my prene and aworn to before ma, thla 2d day of July, 191 K KOBERT HUNTER, No'ary Public, Babvribmi leering tbe city temporarily abouM bay Tba Bee mailed to them. Ad drcat will bo changed aa. often aa requested. Thought for th Day SmUtfdby Edith Tohltt i titlf-rtrtrtiM, $elf-knoiUdge, elf-eenlrol, I Thrte thre alone lend lift to totureign power, j OJEnens Alfrtd Trnnyaon. Be war of tha overloaded excursion steamboat! There are some compensation after all in the refusal of tbe Big Muddy to make Itself easily navigable. Tbo Greater Omaha budget of $3,765,000 for 1916 proves among other things that the art of blowing in money Is a highly developed mu nicipal specialty. ' One of the silent tips sent out of Washing ton indicates that the trust busting campaign it over for the present. Thus does the presidential r campaign cast its shadow before. Tbe latest contributor to the conscience fund of the United States adds 110.000 as a bonus to the principal sum already repaid. A conscience prompting double restitution Is a .wonderful human monitor.'1 , , . . The Eastland Trtg-rdy. Of the terrible Eastland tragedy in Chicago with its 1,000 and more Innocent victims drowned or crushed to death, there is nothing to be aald that baa not been aaid over and over on occasion of similar horrors. Aa further details are learned the story be comes more and more sickening, and It all seems so needless and preventable. Tbe un fortunate part la that whatever may be done now is at best powerless to bring back the Uvea that have been blotted out or to lessen to any extent the suffering of the injured or the grief of those who have been stricken. The responsibility for the catastrophe should be fixed upon those who may.be culpable foes without saying, and the machinery la already working to Investigate causes and bring to account those who have been at fault. All that, however, aa we have aald, can afford small con solation to any one. With the lessons of similar past boat dis asters apparently unheeded here at so frightful cost, aome really preventive measures must be devised for the future. The people throughout the country are aghast, almost stupefied by Its awfulness, but are help less except to hold out their sympathy to the afflicted. Will War Continue t Arguments now being made in support of the proposed immediate preparation of the people of tbe United States for participation In war on its modern magnificent scale all rest on the supposition that war is necessary. nd that feome dsy this country will be railed upon to take tbe field. If the supposition is well founded, then. we should no longer delay the great work. But, is Mars always to control the destinies of mankind? All the lessons of the current war have not teen learned. It Is barely possible that when the world shall have finally emerged from its debauch of destruction, It will be ready to listen to counsels that will lead to the' channels of peace. . Arguments set up In favor of war finally hinge on the necessity for a aatlonal awakening. Is there not some other means for arousing dormant patriotism? A rivalry In the work of bettering mankind's condition ought to bring about quite as much noble emulation as ambition to excel on the battlefield of war. Wars of con quest and aggression are no longer Immediate possibilities, and without them wars for defense will vanish. Our youth can be trained In ath letic pursuits, In obedience and the salutary les sons of discipline without devoting that instruc tion to tbe purposes of war. Can not the American people, whose highest mission has not yet been achieved, and whose ideal is far from being attained, finally lead the world Into something better than military preparedness? Culebra cut short its latest slide and allowed the battleships to pass through the canal to, the 1'aclfle ocean. Thla restores Culebra to the good graces of the coast and averts the stigma of offensive partisanship. ' - N, A paleface Jury in Denver acquitted the Mute Indian chief who killed a Mexican, defied iho powers for weekj, and voluntarily sur rendered to General Scott. The verdict is a v l.ito man's tribute to a bold fighter. All warring governments are urging their I" oplo to turn In their gold and take paper ury, as a patriotic duty. It Is becoming more t-v dent as the days pass that golden bullets will do the grestest execution at the finish. The agitation for regular military training in the schools will not get very far if it Includes treuch-dlgglng as the first essential of soldierly skill. Omitting this modern necessity handi caps the prospective soldier at the start. A nervy 'taxpayer of Illinois seeks the aid of the courts to annul certain extravagant appro priations made by tbe state legislature. The Idea of attacking the wisdom of a legislature in ' disposing of public money smacks of lese ir.ajeste, but tba defiant taxpayer knows the legislature is a dead one. One difference between the overturning of the Haitian and tbe sinking of the Titanic? and tbe Luiitaala la that the death-stricken victims of this latest mishap almost all live in one local ity, while the destruction of an ocean passenger carrier sends the mourning into stores of widely separated places. In tbe old daya of the west outlaws never attempted kidnaping for ransom. Plain rob bery was the rule. With increasing population eoiaas ancient and modern means of getting iiioney without work. Unfortunately for the later-day victims, the surpassing efficiency of front'er vigilantes died with the pioneers. . New Code for Business. A Sioux City preacher, addressing his fellow Rotarlans at their San Francisco banquet, pro claimed a new gospel for business, following the adoption by the Rotarians of a code of eleven commandments that are to govern them in their Intercourse of service with mankind. It Is a b eautifully simple gospel, too; so simple, in fact, that It has been preached to humanity for thou sands of years, and today seems to be as far sway from general application aa in the beginning.- It has been handed to us from antiquity In several forms, the better known, perhaps, be ing that Sermon on the Mount, in which the whole duty of man waa summed up in a single sentence: "Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them." Teachers, preachers and philosophers, mas ters of apologetics and experts In bomlletlca have spoken volumes whose bulk forbids com parison, but morals and ethics alike come back In time to the simple and unavoidable truth of the Golden Rule. Its application has been, diffi cult because of man's Inability to always deter mine Just what be would that men should do to him; when he has an opportunity to take ad vantage of some unusual chance to advance his personal fortune, he Is apt to console himself with the perverted version of the text, which runs, "Do the other fellow first, tor he win do you If he can." In this the innate selfishness of man, his lesser nature, sways him from his bet ter impulse, and adds to the difficulty of swing ing the old world away from Its accustomed groove. The Rotarians have an opportunity to be come a mighty social force, if they will even lightly apply tbe tenets they have adopted as their creed. They will help themselves, and by helping themselves will help others, and In time may find so many Imitators that the world will Le a much better place to live. r L " ' ' j. -jar--. n v jmaaB-, Tha naw belli for tha ehtmea ror Trinity cathadral r at tha depot and will eoon ba in place, the bell tirnstr la on tha ground to Inatall them, and tba ringer. Mr. MelUer. will be fcar to sound tha cbtmaa for tha llrt tinia on Auauat t. In aooordaaea with tha daairaa of Mr. OrfCan, tha donor. 8nator ManWron !a leavin oo a trip to Utah and Montana, whu-h ha la making aa a member of tha ana.u comniluaa on tarrttortoe to gain points en Yellowaton park. Tha t'nicn faclflra ot back at tha Haatlnca play era this morning with a t to hui-out About l.ert ptop (atharad at tha ball park to witneaa tha after noon cuotaat. and lhay ware not disappointed, the homa team winning. I ta Z. la a quiekiy played mate rouncilrnea laeder, Lae and Thrane. appointed to about tha purohaaa of a patrol Uam and waaon lor tha police department, are aaid to favor purrhaslnx a wsoa owned ove. In Council Bluffs which ta of fered tor aalc. A numler of iliurchea heard eloquent euloglea on tha life of tha laU General Grant .and tha apccial -r.le at tha Flist Baptist church, corner Fifteenth rd Pavf r.port, tnluVd an addreaa by General O. O. i loaai d. T!.e. 6d:'.stkn of It.e United Presbyterian chalet '- Vsn avs.i'ie r.s bacn postponed for another week, Earing the Crops. "One swallow doea not make a summer," )ut a few days of aunshlne do make a tremend ous difference In the outlook for Nebraska. Sun ihine and warm weather have come to confound the calamity-howler, whose doleful wail assailed our ears only a little while ago. Nebraska is now certain to have a crop yield that will be well up to it not beyond lta normal output. Some losses bare been sustained. Incidental to the severe storms and floods that visited the state; this is unfortunate, and falls heavily on tbe individuals who have sustained the damage, yet It Is only the risk incident to business ven ture. The seasonable weather now at band means the culmination of a great wheat yield In a harvest that will be but little behind the wonderful promise of the spring months, while the rapid growth and development of the corn and other crops la assured. Fecund soil laughs back at the smiling sky, broad fields wave their ripened grain In aoft breeies, and bounty will again reward the toil of the Nebraska farmer. Comments on tbe Yellowstone park souvenir grab lead the guileless to suppose this country monopolises the tourist hold-up business. Not st ail. Tbe chief difference between the foreign and tbe home variety is the fatcinatlon of the former's touch. Compared with the hold-up Americans experienced in Europe laat August, the Yellowstone psrk affair Is aa petty pilfering to grand larceny. Learning to Drive the Car IJrle T. m-VIb l w-..4. ' WHEN we got otir machine I really knew nothing at all about automobile. Tha only stipulation I made waa that ours should be blue. Blue la my color; everything that I hara la blue. Of course, Ralph did underatand automobiles, at least he claimed to, smd could dtacuas the different makes, and transmission and isnltlon. and rear axles and clutches, and right and left-hand drives, and horsepowers and alt that In a way that waa perfect Greek to me. I simply held faat to tha color, and at laat he found It, after he had spent three solid weeks shopping and complaining that 1 had handicapped him. So wa had an automobile to put Into the garage. That waa one reason why wa bar bought an automo bile. Wa had at first thought to use the garage as a sort of a woodhouso and storeroom, but to be con stantly apologizing a.nd explaining was really very annoying. When Ralph drove up with tha agent In the ma chine, I felt aa proud aa ba. Our own auto at tha. curb! Now wa could take people out riding, and wa could leave tha garage doors open as much as wa choee. Tha agent seemed to ba ia a hurry to catch a car and go back. "Are you sure you can drive In, Ralph?" I asked, which waa only a natural qurstlon. But he anappel bark at me In a mannish way that waa not et alt like himself. Tea, Ms disposition was spoiled already. "Why, of course I can! Why not?" "He can drive anywhere." aaeerted the agent. "Ha drove all the way homo without a hitch. I never knew anybody learn so quick. He's evidently a born driver." (t suppose agents alwaya any this, but I wouldn't have had Ralph think so.) "I don't bellev you'll have any trouble now, Mr. Rofcblns. If you do, 1st ma know. We'll take care f you." And off went tha agent for his street ear. "Want to ride In?" Invited Ralph of ma. "No, not this time, desr," I answered. 'Til watch." He did some Hung (it w as the self-starter), and the engine began to whir splendidly. Ha actually- backed away out Into the street and I saw Mrs. Patton peep ing at us from behind her ciirtatna. Then I ran up the driveway to the garage door, and stood there so as to welcome our new machine Into lta home. "TiOok out, Ralph! Oh, do be careful!" I called, which was a great mistake. The better way, when a man Is driving, Is to say not a word and let him grase things. "Tolc out yourself! Get out of the way, there!" he liellowed. so that all tha neighbors could hear him. He almost hit tha fence before he twisted the other way and grased the side of the house, which waa worse. 1 wss so frightened that I waa stiff, until ha bellowed st me again, when I had sense enough to Jump behind the corner of the doorway. "You see what you made me do," he acolded crossly aa he rolled in. "I might have run over you. You oughtto have more aense than to stand in front of a machine that way." He had atopped leas than six Inches from the end of the garage; the machine waa perfectly stationary, and I waa about to tell him what he had done to the house when, with his hands off the steering wheel, the machine suddenly made a Jump forward and In a horrid crash butted right Into the edge of the garage, t-ulglnf all the boards. There It stuck, and it didn't utter another sound. "Oh. Ralph! What did you do? Whafa the maS terT' I cried He was hanging hard to the emergency brake, aa If It were the llnea. "( didn't do anything. Nothing's the matter," he panted, aa cross aa ever: but I hadn't touched the car. He peered down at his feet, "I merely omitted to put the geara in neutral," ha grunted, "and when 1 let In the clutch, of course she started again. I stopped her Instantly, you see. Those little things are bound to happen. The trouble waa, you made me nervous." We pried the machine loose and rolled It back a little. One lamp was bent up and the other bent down, and the paint waa rubbed oft the enda of the two front aprlnga. I felt like crying, but Ralph tried to bluff it out "That'a nothing," ha asserted. "I'll leave the ma chine when I take It downtown tomorrow and have it fixed." Po he did; and we had a carpenter come ovtr and ftx the garage, too. The morning after we, or he. rather, let the car butt Into tha end of tha garage I had to call him for breakfast; and finally he answered in such a far-away manner that it aeemed aa though he must have fallen Into something, hla voice waa ao atrangely muffled Breakfast was getting cold. I couldn't find him until I saw hla feat sticking out, toes up, from underneath the end of our car In the garage. My heart leaped rlra Into my throat That dread ful car had made another Jump and had run over him When I peeked under, he waan't pinioned faat. after all. He waa only flat on his back, with grease on his nose and hla hands as black as tar. His new overalls were all greasy , too. "For goodness' sake, what are you doing there?" I asked. It was such an undignified position. "Looking at tbe transmission case, ta all," he ex plained. "It leaka." Here began our era of grease. I suppose greaae la necessary to an automobile, and atlll I can't help but wonder where Ralph geta it all. Our machine alwaya haa run beautifully. Of course people say that about their machinea, which makes us laugh. But Ralph knowa. He's such a mecb&nlo that he keeps it up In splendid shape. It rarely evr stops unless by our wn fault. It never stops without good csuae. When it stopped on ua the other evening-Well, we had gone out for only a little spin on the mill road and the car was running beautifully. Then, where that grade beglna. about five miles out, all of a sudden we atopped because the engine had quit. "Whafa the matter?" I asked. "There Isn't anything the matter. We stopped, is all," he grunted. But he eouldn't make us" go. The engine only coughed and quit Another car paased us and covered us with duat and the people In it looked back and grinned. Persona who drive as faat as that ought to be reported. So Ralph climbed out and walked around tha car, scowling at it. "Must be the carbureter," he Informed me; and he prepared to go under. Why la It that carbureters are always placed la such wretched spots?" "Are you sure there's gasoline enough?" I felt as though I had to ask htm that again, no 'matter how he felt about It. "I told you the tank waa filled only yesterday," he fairly snarled, while he waa reaching In under the engine. Already his arm waa grease clear to the elbow, "hut to please you. I'll see. Tou needn't vet up. I'll disconnect the feed line." ' Ralph was still squirming and saying things that ordinarily ha wouldn't have dreamed of aaylng. Tbe notion had been growing on me more and more that eventually I would look Into that gasoline tank. So I gently atood, and raised the seat cushion. Our saeo line tank la underneath the front aeat "What are you doing up there?" yelled Ralph. ''Can't you keep still, please? livery move you make you shake the dirt down Into my face!" I opened the tank regardless. It was dark Inside, and I couldn't see Into It hut I "booed" In. and tt echoed. My duty waa to tell Ralph Immediately. "Dear." I Informed, "tba gasoline tank certainly Is empty!" "Impossible,' he yapped, and continued hla granting. "But It la I know it Is." "How do you know?" 'Because X looked In. You come and sea." "All right. It'll be empty mighty soon If you keep that cover off; I know that," and. not a bit grateful, he wrtgsied out from under. He waa a eight, a per fect sight hla clothes and hla face and hla bands! But no matter. He looked In. "Nobody caa see anything la there," he complained, aa if blaming me for the darkneaa He broke a twig from a weed at the roadside and poked with It in the tank. He examined the end of the tlg. It was scarcely wet "I'll be darned!" ha had to confess. "I thought I tilled that tank yesterday. I meant to, anyhow." Dfcee Premie Sapper C-oaeleetoa f OMAHA. July ta. To the Editor of The Bee: In yesterday's paper I notice one Carl E. Herring haa undertaken to answer Bible ayudent and I suppose he thinks he has ehattered his argument But now let ua examine Mr. Herring's position and see It go to plecea. As I did not see the other article I will con fine myself to this one. Mr. Herring says: "Now If we shatter the premise it is going to make trouble for the conclusion." The aame to you, Mr. H. To bcfc-ln with, the information that Oen.. first chapter, gives the spirit ual account of creating ia pure assump tion. Not a word of proof is given. Let us examine carefully and together Oen. 1 and 1 In Gen. l we have the account of the creation of the earth, heaven, watera, darkness, light, herbs, fruit the whale, every creature. These we have before ua as proof of the material cre ation. The assortlon that It la spiritual lacka proof. Mr. Herring eaya God created man in his own Image, meaning of course, a spiritual man. Is this spirit man depend ent upon material food for Its existence? Read Gen. 1, 27 to 29, Inclusive. Does thla spirit man have dominion over the flab, fowl and every living thing? If ao. are the fowla, fish and every living thing material or spirit? I think his premise and conclusion are both badly ehattered by this. Man's Image of God consists of his form being like God's in form. Phil. 2: says: "Who being in the form of God." speaking of Christ Man'e llkeneaa to God consisted In his being perfect, without sin at the time. In Hcb. 1-t Jesus waa said to be the express Image of God's person. He had no aln. So the Bible la plain If we let It Inter pret Itself. It Just reverses Mrs. Eddy. Science, so called, Paul puts It. At.MUS ADAMS. A Poetical Posey. OMAHA, July ?4. To the Editor of The Bee: As there Is no longer a five-day drug treatment In Omaha, or In our state, you will probably allow me to give my friend, Pr. Horace P. Holmes, a doae of hla own medicine in the following verses. He deserves It I assure you, for In both the letter regarding palmistry, and hla communication under tha caption, "Those N'orr. da Plumes," he has simply used your columns to satiafy a private grudge. A letter to me, dated June . was so deliberately discourteous that I considered the correspondence closed thereby; but two dava later, ha cent n a boquet of Mariposa lilies by parcel poet. wun a very pieaaant letter, asking the privilege of being my friend and teacher. I declined the honor, and mIimI th i.. correspondence be ended. You can Judge or youraeic rrom thla fact what ia hla object in attacking me mln thmn.v The Bee. He thought the letter nhnui "Bryan's Palm" had failed to n.- m. out so sent a stronger appeal. The In formation Incorporated In my verses herewith enclosed, has been gleaned from Dr. Holmes' letters to me. These are Just a few of the "thing worth while" he has been trying to tn&ch me if need further proof, phone me, and I'll man you a bunch of the letters. ELSIE ROBERTSON. Thla Is not Intended -for publication. Still, I've no objections, If you publish, the verses also. ECCE CURA! I weep for Greater Omaha! My hand- kerchief U soaked! Diseaae and blight hold carnival; by doo tore we are "croaked:' r T1 materia is hardly worth a When measlea, mumpa and chicken-pox acroaa our thresholds flit. Our vermiform appendlxea we dread to keep or doff. For either way that wa decide, we're sure to "shuffle off;" While If we're seised with mat de mer on Carter a atormy wave. JNo allopathio dose on earth can save us from the grave. Yet hope flings out a life-line staunch to those who have the "dough" There a an "Indicated Remedy" In Sher idan, yo.l The federal aw w, vlew wlth , Ineffectual bunk I The fatal opiates atlp beneath In many a ta:uing chunk. And aa for all these so-called "cures" 'ef excesa boose and dope, C"rXmpVnrePer-r 'toUt muThrhate " ,akM' On well-known Institutions like the l . JSe?leJr end the Keel. "ve-day treatment's much too quick: thr montha too long, perhaps; A pa In lees cure', too easy they must aufrer and"relapse;" 1 Lnlese they aeek the fountain-head from .Wihenca all blessings flow TfcndkaUd Remedy" In Sheridan. The form of government we boast Is rot. ten to the core! The way they run their grafts on us would make an angel sore! The equal auffraglet, are bound to put thinga on the blink . By passing that eugenics law, from which all sane men ahrink. And making our old town "gu dry" In apUe of ft ay or Jim r Ana the commtesloners who wabble In lock-step with him. Tea thlnss look very dark for Greater Omaha, today; But lol a rainbow apane the dim horl- son. far away! And we ahould worry! There's one 'cure for every earthly woe Tnvt,.."lndlct Remedy" In Kheridnn. yo. i Religion s consolations are a menace and a anara! The chunhea cannot teach Us how to cltmh the golden stair; The Uihle'a not an Inspired book its tenets make ua quail; There's not a shade of proof that Jonah swallowed that big whale. No matter how we shape our Uvea with with iiixKi or 111 'iiienu Ne vague hereafter vromlaes reward or punishment; Tha soul la not Immortal; Life la but a vale bf tears; Only one hoje Is left to soothe our crushing doubts and fears; ' Oblivion Is our ftoej and thla the quick eat way to go By that "Indicated Remedy" In Sheridan. 217 N. Uth Bt. ELSIE ROBERTSON. Defeetr af Baal Teach I a a. NORTH LOUP, Neb.. July l-To the Editor of Tre Bee: Many yeara ago the present writer taught rural school for two years and since that time he haa bean watchlnir the tendency of Nebraska schools, feeling well assured that the whole Institution would finally fall aa a servant of th people. My reason for saying this Is that our public schools do not serve tho people,, but are managed for a trifling 1 per cent who are not competent to meet the world of competi tion. Perm'.t me to auggeet where that weak ness Vies. We are trying to cram too mum of the mechanical Into tha mind of tba ohild up to tha age of 11 The prin cipal part of any education ia to know the language thoroughly. Not every word of the language, but the principles upoo which the language Is based. Sup pose you find what per cent of our achool teachers have ever read the rules of English spelling ss laid down by Web ster! Not I per cent of them. No person caa ever became competent ia the KngUsti who haa not atudted thosa rules. Why is the final silent "e" placed at the end of the word "fate?" Not one In a hun dred school children have ever been told why. We are Juet now beginning the harvest which waa sown fifteen year ago. How can the ninth and tenth gra.e rm"1y the evil which lies In the very beginning Of their education? What will all of this noise about country high schools amount to? It Is nothing more than a sop thrown out by the school lobby to fool the people for another five years while that school lobby extorts millions of dollars to centralized schools through a legislative body which care for nothing except of Hoe and political Influence. WALTER JOHNSON. Woald Stop War Debates. OMAHA, July ?.t.-To the Editor of The Bee: Don't you think It would te ad visable to llm ontlnue the publication of letter under the heed of 'The Fee's Letter Box" en :he subject of the present war in Europe? The writers, as a cen eral thing, are hopelessly prejudiced In favor of one side or the other, end their letter create inly 111 feeling. The vlewa of the writers nro generally a rehash of what they have read In magazine; or newspapers pertlal to their side. As President Wilson is endcftverlnff to straighten out complications growing out of the war. It I very unwise for clttiens of the United states, native or forelgu born, to take aidrw at thla time. LET US HAVE -FEACE. Aa to South Omaha School Janitors. OMAHA. July 24.-T0 the Editor of The Bee: What Is the matter with the Board of Education? When tha ques tion of consolidation came up last spring the South Side people were promised every protection aa far as the Jobs were concerned. This promise has been car ried out to the letter by our city gov ernment but our Board of Education re fuses to comply with Its part of the bargain under the pretense of economy, refusing to give ten or twelve men and women the Jobs they have held for years under the South Omaha board. If the little South Side board could pay those Janitors and turn over itfi 000 to our board, then surely It la a Not en our city for those men and women to have to enlist the aid of the law to keep them In their Jobs. Every fair-minded man or woman should protest against this wrng. t hope the .nltr will succeed In rettlins their troubl" without having recourse to the law, for that would be a very bad showing for our Board of Kducn tlon. JUSTICE. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. Visitor What the new atructure oa the hill there? Former Well, if I find a tenant for It, It's a bunaalow; if I don't It'a a barn. Parsing 8how. Customer Tt me see your kid gloves, s-otch Clerk We heve nae kid glover madam. Customer That kind won't do. I want dressed kid. Boston Transcript. "Thst man doesn't tell the truth half the time." "Well." replied Senator Sorghum, "ha must be reforming. A SO per cent verac ity average Is pretty high fur him." Washinston Star. rue iw "T-pRILLRlU.Wfia, mis jsnrtr is kkO.SEr the i I . i. ,. ne wnll Why, haven't I Just danced six tiroes wun von : "I den't see any proof In that" "Ynn wn::IH If vr.11 nnlv reeJIzed how you dance." Cblcago Newa "At an army wedding the bride cuts the cake with her hukband'a aword." "Thttt ts h relic of the old days." "What old dnys?" "The times when she carved the beef steak with her husband's battle ax." Louisville Courier-Journal. "Thnt girl ahead of us reminds ma of a flower, but I can't recall Just what one ' "Oh. look! she s Just tripped on a banana ire!" "Now I know. She's a lady-slipper." 'Baltimore American. "So you Intend to be a soldier when you Btar TYns ' ns L wnll'll V a in p.iv ti 1, fc tiFii r 1 TT vu 11 area danger of getting killed?" "Why, by the enemy." "Then T'll tw. the enemv." Ytnatnn Transcript. LJL- X&s- 1r ft Y" EVERY I DR.OP KILLS '.vl FRICTION J STANDARD OIL COMPANY B Omaha k HOTELS HOTELS Ulornson Motel 0 Clark g Madison, Chicago Jn the .Heart .ofthe Loori Everv Room with s XX Bath $1.80 lei! 5ne-fe J 40 te'eOeefcfe e - - 4 Home of the Boston Oyster House Famous for its unexcelled service, appetizing dishes, and air of gaiety and good cheer. Dine in the Dutch Grill The most convenient meeting place in the loop, an artistic room where food and service are supreme. The Hotel of r .r a c : Pwnomol AfaMf emear of JfH'-ll j 1 "arry KJki Mnlf sC.t aUfe Kw m nr. . TV i