Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, July 14, 1915, Page 4, Image 4

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    THE RKE: OMAHA. WEDNESDAY. JULY 14, 1915.
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THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATEIt.
VICTOR ROSEWATKR, EDITOR.
T.e Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
PKW BriLDINO, TARNAM AND BKVKNTEENTH.
ftntered at Omaha postofflce eecnnd-rlass msUsr.
TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION.
Py carrier By mull
per month. per year.
vny an4 ffimdiv... c IJ"J
rHT artthout Sunday....' 4 W
F,-vnln(C and "un-lay
F.venln without Sunday o 4.00
undar R only 2.00
Pond nntlr of chen of address or complaint" of
irrnrularlty in delivery to Omaha Bm, Circulation
Department.
R&MITTANCE.
Rmlt by draft press or posts! order. Only two
cent Itiunpi rflH In payment f smell ae
eounts Perennel checks, except oa Omaha ana .astern
xhn-s. not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Baa Bulldlns
outh Omaha 2! II N arrant.
Council Bluffs-14 North Main street.
Lincoln Little Bulldlnr
Ohlcas-o-em H.arst Rulidlnc
NaT tork Room 1W. t Fifth evanu
Pt. Lonis-MS New Bann or loniiwff.
Wi ahln rtoo 7 rourtccntn pt.. n. w.
CORRESPONDENCE,
'address commuBlcatlona rsUtln to news and 4V
ferial snettr to Omaha baa, Editorial Department.
JUXE CIRCtLATIOX.
53,646
Btata of NebrssVa, County of nous-las, :
Pwlsht Williams, circulation msnaer of Tn W
Publishing- company. beln duly morn, says that tha
average circulation for tha month of June, l'J16. wa
DWIOHT WILLIAM?. Circulation Minr.
8tihrl)ad In my prern and worn to before
ma. till td day of July, KlS . ..
" ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Publkj.
Subscriber lravlnjr the city temporarily
should bare The Dee mailed to them. Ad
dreaa will be changed aa often aa requested.
Thought for the Day
Smite by Aliea A. Cortt
Givt what you have; to ttmt it may b teller
tan you date to think. Ilutkitv.
In the matter of good road, as In other
things, "practice what you preach" It always the
safe ml.
But there are a lot of Nebraska federal ap
pointment! longer overdue than the district attorneyship.
And now Villa down In Mexico Is going to
fix the value of money by executive decree. It
has been tried often, but has never been done.
Secretary Daniels will save the day for us by
ordering a new navy "Invented." The good
ship "Piffle" may yet become the most effective
boat afloat.
Jane Addams found foreign rulers unyield
ing for war and the people anxioua for peace.
Naturally. The people provide the cannon fod
der and pay the bills.
The economical tide of Mr. Bryan's state
ment now shines with the luster of frequent
use. Telegraph tolls on signed editorials are
saved by prevailing on press associations to
foot the bill.
Safety first cannot be impreaaed too often
or too vigorously on amateur navigators of
water craft. The fool who rocks the boat takea
no greater risk than the lubber who flouta a
storm on water.
If the treasurer of a private corporation de
camped without turning over the money, a war
rant would be Issued to help bring him back.
But it's different with a man who falls to turn
over public, money in his custody.
Here's a tip for our city commissioners:
Require steam shovels and hoisting engines
operating within the fire limits to use anthra
cite coal or gasoline and stop showering every
one In the vicinity with dirt and soot.
Yellowstone park's unofficial reception com
mittee marred its unique hospitality by Inducing
guests to contribute a few souvenirs of the en
tertatnment. This breach of etiquet casts un
welcome odium on -the hospitality of national
parks.
Several hundred American cltuens were
among the 1,800 passengers sailing from New
York for foreign ports last Saturday. Evidently
they believe In the American right to travel
"without the aid or consent of any nation on
earth."
King George speaks of "my navy" the
kalcer lauds "my army" and Francis Joseph re
rently aaid: "The king of Italy makes war on
me." The claim of absolute ownership Is no
laughing matter. People concerned like It, atand
for It and die for It.
"Tom" Edison and the Navy.
Secretary Daniels has secured a little further
dvertlnlng for his navy program by inducing
Thomas A. Edison to consent to head a board of
Inventors and Investigators, which will give its
time to devising and testing inventions for uses
In connection with the water defenses of the
fnlted States. Mr. Edison and his associate
will co-operate with a naval board, and it la the
hope of those who have formulated the plan
that from the combination will come remarkable
results.
To long as we are to have a navy, and tt It
n admitted nerefmlty, we ought to have the best
the money spent will buy, but It does seem that
the last years of life of the greatest Inventor of
the age might better be devoted to a continuance
oi his pursuits of the arts of peace. It Is easily
conceivable that the mind that gave us the
phonograph, the moving picture machine, the In
candescent light, the multiplex telegrsph and a
host of similar benefactions may still produce
Innovations and improvements that will be of
service to humanity, and not useful only in the
estructive processes of war.
"Let the shoemaker stlclt to hie last." The
lersonnel of the navy has a sufficient number
of highly trained and experienced experts to
properly deal with the problems of the navy.
'Tom" Edison sboutd be permitted to devote his
onderful mind to the consideration of matters
much more vital to the interests of mankind
than defense against attack by submersible warships.
Blow the si re a whistle! The weather
bureau chart shows the rainfall deficiency since
March 1 nearly extinguished, having been re
duced to 1.28 Inches! If the weather man Is
rot careful we may yet have that rare phenoine
son known as an excess.
Signals for Night Fliers
Suppressing Nuisances.
A debate as to what constitutes a nuisance,
nd whether it Is In their province to suppress
It, has been taking up the time of our city com
missioners, the particular nuisance under con-
ideratlon being an odoriferous refuse dump.
To a casual observer it would seem that whether
the use of a piece of property for any purpose
onstitutes a nuisance ought to be a question of
fact, and, once determined, there ought to be no
serious difficulty about abating it.
Yet w in Omaha apparently have more
kinds of nuisances, and less success in ridding
ourselves of them, than any other city of our
size that we know of. The dump and garbage
nuisance by no means complete the list, for we
have alao the smoke nuisance, the vacant lot
nuisance, the uncut weed nuisance, the billboard
nuisance, the brickyard nuisance, the oil supply
fctatlon nuisance, the clay embankment nuisance
and others, some of which may be all right In
their proper places, but become nuisances when
found In neighborhoods where they do not
belong.
The point of it all la that other cities do not
have the same trouble we have in tackling
nuisances and finishing the Job of abatement
with promptness and certainty. So what good
reason is there why all the different kinds of
nuisances should be allowed to run rampant
here?
Veterinarians' Feet and Others.
One of the veterinarians in attendance on
the convention now held In Omaha, gives em
phatic warning to his professional brethren that
the charging of exorbitant fees for their services
will react, and that the loser in tho end will be
the veterinarian. His earnest presentation of
the matter baa opened a question that is full of
possibilities, particularly from an ethical stand
point. Modern practice in all the so-called
"learned" profession has been to make the
tariff all the traffic will bear, and much of scan
dal has arisen, especially in the medical profes
sion, over this custom and aome of Its allied
practices.
The picture, fortunately, has another side.
Many of the ablest and most successful of prac-
tltoners conscientiously give attention first to
aervice to be rendered, with little or no atten
tion to the fee they may obtain. Their interest
is In making their knowledge or skill of use to
humanity, and they apparently find their great
est reward In knowing that they are doing good
for somebody who is otherwise helpless. These
men are guiding lights In the world.
No one will deny the right of the doctor to
his reward, fee, honorarium or whatever you
may call It. Like the Gilbert and Sullivan bur
glar, when not professionally engaged, "bis
capacity for Innocent enjoyment is quite as great
as any other man's," and everybody will be
pleased to see him indulge In his recreation,
But the veterinarian struck a deep note when he
warned hla fellows against the dangera of cupid
ity and overcharge.
Literary Direst.
TUB Ocrman raiders who drop bomh on Britain
are iafe from British aeroplane uttark bo. atii
the aeroplane la not a nlsht craft It may
alilo to rise In the dark but how shout landlnf?
There a the run. hen a tree look Juct like a mem aw.
aviation acquire new problem. Aid In aoh in llietn,
however, cornea moat opportunely, and from Oer
irmny. An Irurnioue arrn naemrnt of elunnl llKht f.ir
piloting; aviators to earth haa Jut been Invented and
patented by a Herman archlte' t named E'r Honla;.
The appamtun. known a the 'Honla; Circles." co.i
lt of two concentric rln-lea or rlnns of lnan
deacent lamps ufandln on ede a few feet above
the amund, with the amaller one placed At a dis
tance of aeveral yard behind the laracr one, which
stands bark of the landing- state. We quote from tha
Technldcha Monamhefte (Berlin. April 1 a descrip
tion of the way In which thene signal lights enable
the airman to ateer his craft.
"The working- of thla arrangement depends on tha
well known fact that a circle i Immediately seen as
an ellipse as soon aa the eye ceaeee to be directly
opposite the center. Henoe two circles of llKht prop
erly arranged mut be perceived as two upright or
slanting ellipses which either intersect each other or
have the emsller contained In the larger, until th
eye of the beholder Is directly In line with the axis
passing- through the middle point of tho two circles.
In the case of the Honlg signal circles, whose central
axis stands about thirteen feet above the ground, this
oouurs whon ths airman Is from two to three feet
(according to the build of the machine) above ground.
Another figure shows how the circles appear to a
filer who finds himself at a great height above ths
signal and files directly down in the direction of the
central axis of the circles. When he come farther
down, probably flying; in a spiral and thus nearms
the ground, the rings begin to Intersect and appear tu
him. for Instance, aa In a position of the light circle
which reveal to him not only that he has approached
the earth, but alao that he ha diverges from the direc
tion of the middle axis and that he must steer his
machine to the right In order to obtain the right
direction again. He does thl, atill continuing to de.
cend, until he sees the signal, perhaps, that he ha
approached the level of the ground, but Is too far tu
tha right. Consequently he ateer further to the left,
until he sees tha circle which tell him that he may
descend without danger. lnce he i t the proper
Isndlng height and I In line with the middle. nxls, I, e.,
directly over tha landing stage."
It almpllclty of construction and operation Is de
clared to give this apparatus an advantage over all
others. It i also cheap to build and maintain. Tha
imount of current required I small, and the operation
consists merely of turning on the current when a
machine is heard approaching at night In case where
the lights are not needed to burn continuously.
Where the signal Is part of the equipment of an
aviation corps In an army, It I eaaily arranged Si
that the ring can ba fastened together and trans
ported without difficulty when camp I changed. The
Invention la llkewUe specially valuable for water
landing: "It has been proved that It Is not possible
to discern the surface of water from a flying
machine even by day when the water is smooth
aa giass and the air la clear, so a to make a smooth
landing. Hence, If the landing spot la not designated
In any way and In case the pilot ha at hand no ob
ject which can be thrown down, either to float or to
produce ripple when It sinks. It I practically im
possible to descend upon the water. Even more dif
ficult are water landings at night and in thick
weather. In such case recourse might be had to
floating light bombs, but It would be far more ad
visable to have suitable landing place designated by
Honlg signals fastened to floating buoy so as to
place themaelve automatically In the direction of tha
wind. Then landing places which would offer no dif
ficulties could always be selected. Tor aircraft con
voyed by a squadron on the high seas, the signal
would hava to be fastened on the broadside of tha
accompanying hlp, which could eai!y be done."
Finally, It is suggested that tha signal might ha
employed for conveying Information by code, making
use of colored lights and of revolutions of ths circles.
The censorship fever, raging in epidemic
form abroad, Is breaking out In spots In this
country. Pittsburgh reports a critical case. In
whlch magazines are undergoing examination
for purgation. The city of steel, has been una-
oie to rworm ui general atmosphere, but its
moral atmosphere may prove more responsive
to heroic treatment.
Twice Told Tales
James Cort. secretary to tha Indian eoratutsston.
arrived as tha advance agent for the lnveaUgatln
committee, which la composed of Congressman W
llolinsn of ItMlane, W. H. Hatch of New York, L. V.
Peel of Arksnsaa. Joseph O. Cannoa of Illinois and
Thomas Ryan ot Kansas.
A communication, vouched for by C. 8. Quodrlch,
Kd Leader and Charlaa Handrick, enter vigorous
denial for Caretaker McDonald at Han scorn park of
the charge of selling water at W oenl a glass.
Iennla Sheedy of Kajiaaa City has sold W. A,
I'aitoo his entire "T! V brand, ftonalating of t)
talvea, besides bulla and ponlea, for approximately
St.UM.
The contract for erecting the new exposition
liuiieing has been let to Arthur Johnson, and wilt be
iiOdr the supervision of D. U Shane.
Mlas Margaret McDonald, a charming young lady
of Buffalo, 1 visiting her slater, Mr. Oscar Huff
man, and will go with the doctor and hi wife on a
I : ueure tilp to the Psotfie aoaat shortly. 1
Miss MKJlll of Monmouth, J1L. la the guest of Rev,
K. U Graham on her way to Danver.
Be sure the democratic national committee
Mil not let go of that 1100,000 check offered
by Dallas In exchange for the 1916 convention
imuuii u uirns mey get someining just as
good." Here is the call for those noble Ne
braska democrats to come forward with a $100,-
000 check if they mean what they say In their
telk about getting the convention for Omaha.
wnne it makes rine reading, a story of
wholesale murders committed nearly fifty years
ago lacks the up-to-dateness necessary to make
it a live Issue. Too many people can remember
tblnga only when no one la left to prove or dis
prove their assertions. .
' Qalrk Wit ves Him.
A minister In a local church, known for hla absent-
mindedness by the members ot his own family, but
not to his congregation, saved hlmlf from complete
exposure at a recent service by his quick wit.
He had studied hi ermon carefully, but had
neglected to make any notation of tha number of
the chapter and verse from which the text waa taken.
In the pulpit he announced the text and then stoppt-U
short while the congregation waited to hear from
what place in the Bible It waa taken.
Aa he noticed the a bee nee of note to this fact ha
quickly announced. "I'm going to give you a week tJ
find from what chapter and verse thla phrase wii
taken." Ho the exposure was averted. Chicago Herald
Aa A-rraat Coward.
Mrs. Jones bought' a chicken at the family butcher
shop and after embellishing It with bread crumbs.
celery, cranberry sauce and other glad things, aha act
It before the head of the family.
"What Is the matter. JohnT" aafced the young
wlf j with an anxious look as hubby laboriously carved
the bird, "isn't tha chicken all right?"
"Why, yea, I gissss ha la all right, dear." waa thj
hesitating retponae, "hut I fear he waa a very great
coward."
"A great coward T" returned the perplexed wife.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't they say, Mary." smilingly replied the old
man, "that the bravest arc always in tenaerestr
Boston Herald.
Ysske fodder.
Senator Hoar-used to tell with glee of a southerner
Just home from New England who said to his friend:
"You know those little white, round beans?"
"Yes," replied tha friend, "the kind w feed to our
horaes?"
"The very same. Well, do you know, sir, that In
Boston the enlightened c.ltltens take those little, white.
round beans, boil them for three or four hours, mix
them with molasses and I know not what other In
gredients, bake them, and then what do you suppose
they do with the beana?"
"They"
"They eat 'em, lr." Interrupted the first south
erner. impressively, "Mess roe, lr, they eat 'em!"-
Christian Advocate.
Beaitares.
'lay, looky yur!" snarled Kandstorm Bmith, widely
known Oklahoman, (merging from the elevator In
Kansas City hotel five minute after he had apparently
retired to hla room for the night. "Who In the biases
I that cuss In the next mom to mine?"
"A guest who waa in an automobile accident this
afternoon." replied the clerk. "The gasoline caught
fire and ourned him pretty badly. I am sorry his
groans disturbed you, but "
-aw. tnai s an right l thought It was one uf
them Infernal cabaret performers practicing on an
accordion.
Cities anxious to entertain the next demo-
I cratlo national convention will take notice that
Dallas emulates the early bird, with a fat purse
attached to Its bill. The great featured stunt
of easting out the one-term plank In itself makes
the show worth all kinds of money. Bid up!
In his will distributing a fortune of $50,
000.000, the late Lord Rothschild of London
definitely affirmed the family's penchant for
gold buga. A son enamored of crawling bugs
waa cut off with a measly shilling.
Reports from Roumanla and other Balkan
states show that the real estate trading depart
ments of European diplomacy are enjoying an
unexampled rush of negotiations, but mighty
little actual business.
People and Events
How's this tor a combination In war times? George
S. Damm and Kmillne Prudence Qoode were married
last week at Beaver Mills. Pa., by Rev. G. e. Heller.
Damm-Oood, did you say?
CHtlos and supporters ot the MUkle system of
economy la hum management might profitably con
aider the masterful domestic establishment of Mr. snl
Mrs. Nunalandl Nlttoly ot Brooklyn. N. Y. They hav
fourteen living children out of nineteen born to
them and the family of sixteen live and thrive on an
Inoome of ISO a week, which Nlttoly earns In a barber
shop. Out of the Income tC a month goe for rent
of the, barber shop and the home. "I do my own
sewing, my own baking, my own washing, every
thing. I always do them. The girls help me. The boy
help at the shop. W are not worrying." said Mr.
Nlttoly.
rerfcaa Ilolag Ilia Best.
OMAHA. July 13.-T the Editor of The
Bee: I wonder If It hss ever occurred
to some of the critic who are verbally
pelting Brother Mlckle tret perhaps that
entlemnn I Imitating the benighted
Hindu, who, we are told In the Jingle. 1
'doing the best he kin do?" Any man
who Is trying to keep a family alive on
a month has a verv ample problem
before him in the mere matter of eupply-
ng the necessaries, and Isn't likely to
wonder much about what luxuries they
will enloy. 1 do not wonder that he doeam't
buy meat for every meal. I.et some of
his critics try to provide meat regularly
op a family of nix And see hoa much
they will have at the end of a month
for other household expenses. Also, it
might help the understanding of the
problem If some of them would remem
ber that In Omaha live many men. strlv-
n? to provide for families, who would be
ovei-.loyed If somebody would Insure them
an income of SAO a month the year
around. Mlckle Isn't the only man In
the fix he finds himself. OLD FCOT.
Is Family' Share 4b SmoWeT
OENOA. Neb.. July 13.-To the Editor
of The Bee: We have read with In
creasing Interest the letter of Mr. Mlckle
and his antagonists, lor he seems to have
no friends, and we, IfUe the Fairmont
people, wonder If it was merely a ruse
to call forth Indignation. But when Mr.
Mlckle' .second letter appeared It con
tained so much weak, cowardly defense
we began to believe he waa In earnest.
A score of question have arisen lit our
minds, and foremost among them is.
What occupation 1 so energy-absorbing
thst It require all the beefsteak for Mr.
Mlckle while hla wife can do the work
for a family of eight and not require
any? Our hired man suggests no proo
ably work on tho action. He spoke of
his wife sewing and hi children claming
stockings while he smoked. Some won
dered if his wife and children used to
bacco. Of course their portion of It is
the smoke-the same as of the beef
steak. MR". ROY MYER.
Mlekle's Plekle.
OREELEY. Neb.. July 12. To the Ed
itor of Tha Bee: Please let me add this
to the discussion:
lariina whv aft In a Dickie
O'er the purchasln' power of a nickel?
'.-nure us nereuy iey-iwivwu
Thai lli. niiflnn Is solved
Be our high fee-nanoler, A. B. Mlckle.
41 . V V.
Calls II I m t'tterly Shameless.
CO AD, Neb., July 12 To the Editor
of The Bee: I read the letter signed "A.
B. Mlcklo." Is It possible In this day and
age of the world that a man with horso
sense can provide for a family of six
children on a salary of from 130 to l0 a
month? Of course, he does all tha shop
ping. What does hs do with the rest of
the meat money? He states "we get
along very well on 40 cents per week for
tobacco." Why doesn't he quit the to
bacco and take the family to the movies
once a week on the tobacco money? A
man like him la utterly shameless.
CHARLES MILLINGER.
Her Indignation Not Allayed.
OMAHA, July U.-To the Editor of The
Bee: The old adage "It s the truth that
hurts" ha again proven true, aa ex
emplified in A. B. Mlekle's answer to my
letter.
You, Mr. Mlckle, seem very much
peeved over the fsot that a "mere
woman" should say such things to you.
for as you say, that's not a usual oc
currence at you house. You make the
assertion if I was your wife I would
have to "toe the mark." Never would I,
for I would absolutely refuse to live with
a man of your caliber. The good lord
never- intended that a woman stand for
the things your poor wife doe. It 1
my belief that your wife doesn't see
things as you do at all. Its simply a
case of you having her "buffaloed."
You come back at ma with but one
Issue, "the movies," the very thing I
made no mention of whatever. You also
take it that I am a regular attendant of
same. For your own satisfaction, let me
atste here, It has been well over a year
since any of us have been to the movies.
Ws don't have to go to movies to enjoy
life. We have lota of music and lots of
company in our home, along with lots of
your so-called luxuries, which Indeed
make life worth living. We are com
panions with no one "bossing," which also
mskes Uf more pleasant.
As for me spending my husband's
money faster than he can make it, we
hava our own home, modern In every
respect, so I can't hav spent all of It,
and by the way I do all my own work.
Including, my sewing, so you see his
money Isn't going for thing of that
nature.
No doubt you will again make answer
to thla letter, but my time I far too
valuable to waste, hut let me say here, I
most certainly agree with Mr. Wester
gard that your case is one fit for In
vestigation by the Juvenile authorities.
'THAT INDEPENDENT WIFE."
Wosild Rather Stay I'oor.
OREKNE, R. I., July lO.-To the Editor
of Tha Be: I waa much Interested In
the way A. B. Mlckle savea money. It
aeem tike I can picture III babies' face
as father goe to the cupboard for tha
seventh piec of that pound of steak
tho last of it Does biby get the gravy?
Doesn't mother need meat to sustain her
strength for baby?
The tobacco. I expert, 1 for father
cent a week for tobacco, and doesn't
allow hi wife to eat meat!
Mr. Mlckle. move to the country -nd
talse beana for the children's sake.
The Ixwd bless us, I am glad I am not
Mrs. Mlckle. I would rather be poor and
enjov living than live like that.
MRS. A. Q.
Stick It and Owt mm Ante.
PR 8 MET. 8. D July U.-To th Editor
ti Th Bee: In re A. B. Mlckle: You
left one spot exposed, old boy, and th
women, blesa 'em. have not failed to take
advantage of it. That 40 cents worth of
tobacco and pound of ateak, should be
whacked up with the real of th family,
all right, and there la no getting around
that. So. the women have you on th
toboggan aa to being selfish, and I fear
a little despotic, too.
Still, laying aside these minor weak
nesses of your position, my friend, you
really have said something. You hav
aaid a whole mouthful. You have shown
that an American laboring man can rata
a fmlly and lay aaid money on a wag
of from 130 to ISO per month.
It waa either Benjamin Franklin or
General Sherman who said that "The way
t wealth la aa plain aa tha way to milt
Just spend lea than you earn." A. B.
Mlckle, you are on that way. If you
Invest wisely, you will doubtless arrive.
The low wage, the uncertainty ef em
ployment and th high coat of all neces
sities mske the lot of the common laborer
practically hopele, aa far as laying
aside anything for a rsiny day goes. For
that reason an appalling percentage of
them have given up hope of ever having
a competence. The municipal lodging
house, the soup kitchen, the bread line,
and the cities full of unemplo)rd every
winter Is a growing and not a decreasing
thing.
To avoid this end the common laborer,
and I used to work sixteen hours s day
at 110 per month, has to do Just about
like you are doing In the main, the to
bacco and eteak excepted. Not many
laboring men or their wives are willing
to pay the price, It Is so hard and unjust
and cruel, while others are so rich. But
you stick to It, A. B. Mlckle. You will
own your own automobile, yet. Be ure,
though, to guard the health of the family,
and send the children to school.
G. P. NETHERLY.
LAUGHING GAS.
Johnny What Is an expert, pa?
Pa A fellow who tails A
d the things he can t do himself Kan
sa City fctar.
No Chinaman seems to have any trou
ble getting rich In thi country with a
chop uey place."
"Well?"
"I wonder If I could go to China and
get rich with a Deanery or a boiled
dinner Jo!nt?"-Loulv!lle Courier-Journal.
KABIBBIE
KABARET
"PUV RAIL!" A MORffS ATJfaTB
THMVKymi$A tow su&ri
IKqae am joy at acvekhe.
"Twice did I refuse to drink when
asked because I thought It was wrong."
"Then the third time It aould have
been all right to take It, for, if you
remember tiiree scruples make one
dram." Baltimore American.
"Do Americans remember their great
men?",
"I'm afraid not I don't bellev I could
mention all the names of the men on
the team that won the base ball pennant
last year." Washington Star.
"The beauty of automoblllng Is that It
keeps one out of doors."
"Not always. It frequently lands on
In la It or the hospital." Boston Trans
script. "Charles, you're spending too much
money this year. Too many dance, too
many clothes, too many taxis, too many
"Well, fsther, I'll tell you how I look
at It. It seems to me thst every family
ought to be able to support on gentle
man." Cornell Widow.
"What did th chief of the cannibal
tribe ssy when the pretty girl mission
aries were brought Into his presence?"
"Rmarked hie lips and said '.Soma
chickens.' "Baltimore American.
"You department store people have
everything. It s a wonder you don't hava
a department to supply women with hus
bands." "We tried that once, but th percent
age of returned goods waa too large."
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"How are vou going to soend the sum
mer?"
"Kicking about the rllmat and tha
food, a usual." replied Mr. Growcher.
"although I haven t decided what placs
I'll go to." Washington Star.
THE THIRD DEGREE.
Orif Alexander In Pittsburgh jMnpatch.
His ways are gentle and kind.
In righteousness he's ever bold.
The sunple facts I call to mind
To prove th copper Is pure gold.
We have a constitution great
Thst sent Its message round the earth;
But that waa (here I wish to autei
Before the cop had proved his worth.
We won a certain bill of rights
We deem a priceless, heritage--
And cheer whene'er a cop Indite
A few amendments on the page.
And that, of course. Is Just because
A coppor Is a sage, a seer,
A scholar learned In all tha laws
Philosopher without a peer.
We once burned wiche. That was tame!
We had an Inquisition Flat!
Them guys waa pikers In the gam!
We're three degree ahead of that!
Who cares for thumb-screws or tha reek
They're smacks to make a baby weep.
The proper method of attack
Is Craxe the cuss with lack of sleep!
'Tis thna, with promptness w eonf.
We keep our liberties Intact
Or else the pulpit and th preae
Would naturally note the fact.
If on the law It were a scar
Disfiguring aa boil or pit
We'd get some words lrom bench and
no, they never mention ltl
And so it really seems to me
We'd best let legislators cease.
Since all Is right aa right can ba
We need no law! We have police!
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address FRBU 8TERRY, Maaafis Diraator
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'Phone Douglas 1889.
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