THE KY.Ki OMAHA. TUESDAY. .IL'NE L'P. 191 S.
i i
i i
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
rorymsp by edwar.? robewater."
VICTOR ROSEWAVEK, EDITOR.
The Bee ruMlahlDg Company. Proprietor.
pm Bl'ILDINO. FARNAM AND FEVF.NTEENTH.
Entered at Omahs postoffice aa second-class matter.
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OFFICES.
Omaha-The Pee Building
South Omaha
N street.
'Council Bin f fa
14 North Main street.
Lincoln I -It Me) Pailldlng.
Chicago Sol Hearst Hut'dlng
New York Room 1W, Fifth avenue.
ft tmile-M8 Nw Punk of Commerce.
Waehlnsrton 7 Fourteenth ft.. N, W.
CORRKPPONDF.NCB.
Address communications relating to nawa and edU
(ortal matter to Omaha Bee. Sdltorlal Department.
MAV CIHCILATION,
53,345
State of Nebraska, County of Pontine, a!
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of The Bee
Publishing eompnny. being duly sworn, aaya that tha
average clrouliition for the month of May, 1916, Waa
13 lit
DWIOHT WILMAMB, Circulation Manager,
"uhecrli ed In my presence and aworn to before
ma, thla 3d dny of .tune. 1MB
ROBERT HUNTER. Notary Public
Subscriber leaving the city temporarily
should have The lie mailed to them. Ad
dress will be changed aa often a requested.
Jane at
Thought for the Day
Saecf ? by Mrs. H. K. Burktt
"Ihrellon the pleaeant thing in your life,
and forget, at far at po$iblr, th4 diimgretnblt
tvtnt$. And be glad always that you are u
toi'jr-not an idler in thit fair uorld."
It seems as If Huerta had stepped off on the
wrong foot.
Liberty Bell day here Is July 9.
on your calendar.
Tut a mark
After the war, what? Royalty will ride In
limousines aa usual. The rest of the crowd will
walk to their work.
General Huerta may be a smooth one, as
Mexicans go, but he Is on the wrong side of the
line to "put one over."
Governor Blaton of Georgia carries with hltn
Into retirement the certainty that his deeds of
bravery will live after him.
It will not be an old-fashioned Fourth In
Omaha, but it will be a new-fashioned Fourth,
with all the frills and thrills..
Huerta should have arranged to "stop off"
in Omaha Instead of In El Paso it'a a good deal
safer and much more enjoyable.
The exhibit of the original marriage cer
tificate should stop any possible dispute that It
was the first ever Issued In this city.
It never rains but it pours. Omaha la now
to have the solicitous care of more evangelists
In the three months than it has had in three
years.
Jingoes and pacifists defeat their purposes
by, advocating two extremes. Between them lies
the middle conrse, which combines -jfety and
sense.
Mr. Bryan denies that he let the Germans
know that he did not mean It when he signed
the first note. But what difference does it
make? It was President Wilson's note, and no
one doubts that he meant it.
The American ambassador at London "re
grets to report" that citizens of the United
States reach British ports without passports and
get Into trouble at once. People who butt Into
trouble deserve what they get.
West Virginia ia offered a receipt tn full for
Its war debt of $12,000,000 and some over tn
return for a ten-year monopoly of the sale of
booze. The state is In the dry belt and Us col
lective thirst, properly assuaged, la worth many
millions.
Colonel Bryan's criticism of newspapers In
general and daillr in particular Indicates a grow
ing conviction that the paper managed by
Brother Charley Is the only one In the country
absolutely untainted by commercialism. Now Is
the time to subscribe.
Smith a special "sell" la an 111 the aenaatlon of tha
town. Ttleg rama have been Bent all over tha country
and strenuous efforta hava been made to locate tha
genial gentleman, who la aald to have headed for
Canada. What la meied moet la tha carpet that uel
to cover tha sidewalk In front of tha atore.
Omaha Typographical union haa elected theae .if.
flcera: President. Char It Wtlllama: vice president, C.
K. Mitcnell; treaaurer, A. W. Sutton; financial see
retary. F. .8. Horton; corresponding aecretary, K
W. Runkles; recording aecretary, Ie Hartley
aergeantt-arma. V, B. Ford; executive board, Jiiimi
Darmody. C. M. Hopklne. E. H. Plckard. J. Rohlnaon.
. waicnaer; application committee, W. P. Ooa
J. n. Uewla, Doo Armatrong.
Jullua B. Cooley will make tha eagle arream at Elk
City oa tha gloiioua Fourth.
P. C. Craig of tha B. M auditor a office haa gone
to warren. -.. nia oia noma, and. It ta aald, will not
return alona.
Two ateamboata from Sioux City paaaed down tha
river, stopping for a short time at tha foot of Far
nam atreet.
a nonemian ounoing ana loan aaaoclatlon haa
been Incorporated with theae offtcere: John Roatcky
prealdent: K. vt . Ha r toe. tecretary; F. J. Kaapar,
treaeurer-
Wllliam K. Anmn and ife have returned from
thHr eaatern trip, accompanied by R. e. Aonin
New York
Some Thoughts on Americanization Day.
The proposed plan to convert our celebra
tion of Independence day Into an "Americanlxa
tlon"' day for the foreign-born of our population
sujrgests some thoughts, all of which may not
harmonize with the prevailing popular notion.
If the purpose Is to Inspire with a patriotic love
of thtlr adopted country those who have come
from other lands and stimulate them to comple
tion of their naturalir.atlon, the effort Is a lauda
ble one. although such a movement should be
continuous, and certainly not be confined to a
onre-a-year spasm. We sre told that there are
seven million men in this country old enough to
vote who were born abroad of whom less than
half are naturalized- "that is to say, they are i
in this country, but not of it." But In all proba
bility the vast majority of these aliens have not
been here long enough to comply with our natu
ralization lays. We look for largely Increased
European immigration at the close of the war,
and at the fastest It will take more than five
years for them to bpcome naturalized. The
process of Americanizing the newcomera will
call for something more than an annual recep
tion fed with oratorical provender.
But if the tendency of Americanization day
talk Is to create a sentiment thst the foreign
born are not a dependable part of our popula
tion, or that their loyalty to the t'nited States Is
open to question, then we want to enter vigorous
protest. When it comes to qualifications for
good citizenship and patriotic devotion to coun
try, the foreign-born American will match up
with the native born at any time. Attempts to
fasten responsibility for our social ills on the
Immigrant element have always failed. The
truth ia that, with comparatively few excep
tions, the men and women w-ho prove strong
enough to break the ties that bind them to their
native lands In order to come over here to es
tablish a new home In the land of freedom, have
as good. If not better, conception of what they
owe to their adopted country than those born
here, who take It aa a matter of course. The
lessons of Independence day that teach Ameri
canization need to be learned by all of us who
enjoy the blessings of liberty achieved by the
forefathers regardless of the accidental place of
birth.
Holding; Husrta in Check.
If the United States Is seriously bent on
bringing about a settlement of conditions tn
Mexico, it could not have worked batter than by
detaining Vlctoriano Huerta at El Paso. The
presence of Huerta In this country has not been
at all reassuring, and when he left New York
for the west, saying he sought recreation at San
Francisco, but Journeying by a route that would
take him directly to the Mexican border, he con
firmed the suspicion.
The hospitality of the United States has been
sadly abuaed by the plotters and counter-plotters
of the Mexican muddle. It matters not to
what extent one or the other of the squabbling
parties have been supported by American sym
pathizers; they have maintained their Juntas
and carried on their preparationa on thla side,
openly and In some instances defiantly, creating
thereby a scandal that ought not to be endured.
Huerta in particular has flouted the government
of the United States, and the presence of Pas
cual Ororco, one of the leaders In the revolt
against Madero, with others like minded at El
Paso to receive the deposed president, are at
least circumstantial evidence.
Another Note to Great Britain.
One of the earliest tasks for Secretary Lans-
ng will be the preparation of another note to
Great Britain on a aubject of deepest Importance.
Earl Grey's memoranda on the topic of detained
hipping Is not an answer to the representatlona
of the United States concerning the effect of the
operation of the order in council. The commun-
catlon is not even evasive, for It does not ap
proach the main point at all. Ilia majesty's
minister for foreign affairs contents himself with
a general statement of what his government haa
done and is doing to painlessly prevent the pas
sage of commerce between neutral porta. The
contention of the British government does not
conalder from any of its several anglea the real
question at issue.
This communication, unsatisfactory In whole
and in detail to the United States, opens the way
for a stronger presentation of the case of the
neutrals who nre affected by the order in coun
cil. The United States Is properly Insistent unon
the point that the right to traffic freely between
neutral porta must be fully recognized and re
spected by all the belligerents. It has not
yielded to Germany on this, and can not be ex
pected to yield to England.
With the law of the aea fully established, and
properly operative, the friction now complained
of will be removed to a degree that will permit
the approach of a better understanding between
the natlona, and may make way for auch nego
tiations as will eventually lead to peace.
Mr, Maxim and Modern Warfare,
If Mr. Hudson Maxim ia correctly quoted by
the Associated Press reporter, he is at least en
titled to credit for faith in bla works. But It it
altogether probable he will have some difficulty
In convincing many of his countrymen that they
will be aafer In Europe's battle trenches than
In an automobile on an American road. Those
of ua who are still Hated as pedestrians will ad
mit that a certain degree of danger resides in
an automobile, but ao far aa reliable figures are
obtainable, the self-propelled pleasure vehicle
has not aa yet taken any auch toll of life aa haa
the machine gun. As far aa the trenches are
concerned, it is well known they are very com
fortable places, when properly drained and
equipped with modern conveniences, yet life in
them is tinctured with an uncertainty as to when
one Is to be overcome by polsonoua gaa, annihi
lated by a bomb, upheaved by an exploding mine,
or otherwise disturbed by som sudden manifes
tation of Maxim's genius In providing for the ef
ficiency of modern weapona. The great Inventor
of war machinery and exploaivea may be cor
rect in his assertions, but those who own them
will very likely cling to the auto In preference to
the firing line.
Southeast Nebraska la regarded aa the moat
promising strawberry belt in the wide west. The
soli Is there, the sunshine and the showers, and
enterprlae will do the rest. Stella vouches for
the promise of Joys to come, and 8tella bears
the hallmark of truth.
Aimed at Omaha
Wayne Hegld: Evangelist Billy Sunday, passing
throuali Nebraska, remarked that the stories that
t'nmlia aa the most wicked cty on the map were
"pme hunk. whaever that means Thla will encour
aae Omaha In addition. It may Increase raah re
ceipts during the hiij meeting there next fall.
Kearney Hub: The Omaha Bea has abundant rea
son to plume Itself on the passing of Ha forty-fourth
anniversary The Bee Is a great newapaper and Ha
greatness consists largely In hewing to a safe, aanc,
ateady line of conduct.
Lincoln Star: Oirihha ministers who have dlacov-
ered that the lav men are not orerpartlal to the com-
Ing of Billy Sunday, are trying to Induce Mr. Bran
to agree to open the iers for Sunday, and the propo
sition appears to hava put new ringer Into the pro
ject. Hebron Reglater: We are glad to note that ao many
newspaper men over tha state are rlficuling tha
poll, lea of tha Omaha school board, who g.va tha atu
fnte the option of taking American history, and have
also taken up four yeara military drill aa a course of
atudy. Pome of the wlseacrea. of whom we have
plenty in Hebron, ridicule and curae the country press,
but there la no class or body of professional men dolna
more to mould public sentiment for good than the
country newspapers. Be sure you are on the right
track, hoys, then go ahead regardless of political
party or creed.
Nebraska City Presa: Yesterday waa the forty
fourth anniversary of the founding of The Omaha Beo.
the most representative newspaper In Nebraska. Tha
Bee had ao much to say about Ita past history anl
Its present endeavors and alms that It forgot men
tioning the arrival of the 'Julia" again.
Lincoln Journal: The enlarged city of Omaha finds
Itself In possession of two city halls In consequence of
the annexation of South Omaha. It la now announced
that the South Omaha building will be kept open for
a time at teaat, as a branch office of the municipality.
In the end It will be found that thla building Is not
much of an asset for the public, even If It aid cost
considerable money. Aa long aa it remains the prop
erty of the city the temptation will exist to keep it
open at considerable expense for the purpose of giv
ing a few .loba to faithful friends of the city commis
sioners It would t-e economy to give the building
away outright. If It cannot be sold or turned to some
productive public use.
Plattsmouth Journal: Omaha la going to have soma
great attractions on July 6, and they will be ready
to take all the money In sight. From 12 to IM to see
tha auto races, and aleo from 11 to $5 to see the wrest
I'ng match. Jt will be an easy matter to come home
broke.
Nebraska City fresa: We have long been disposed
to give well-merited publicity and fame to boya and
girla of Nebraska schools who earn merit on tho
athletic field and It la with pleaaure that we ran turn
our attention to another little mentioned, field of
school energy and remark that Fannie erelick and
Angelina Tauchek of an Omaha ward school, whilu
having no prowess aa athletea. are worthy of ihe
unanimous respect and admiration of the whole state
for having been declared the beat writera of the 16,010
public school children of Omaha. It 1 fine to be able
to "make" 100 yards In ten aeconds; it la far mo-
Important. In thla work-a-day. matter-of-fact world,
to be able to write legibly and beautifully. The Omaha
girls should not be forgotten.
Twice Told Tales
Net t'p to Date.
"Mark Twain waa visiting H. If. Rogera." aald a
Nc" York editor. "Mr. Rogera led tha humorist Into
hla library.
"There." he aald. aa he pointed to a bust of whlto
marble. "Whet do you think of thatT" It waa a
bust of a young woman colling her hair a graceful
example of Italian sculpture. Mr. Clemens looked
and then he said:
" 'It len t true to nature.'
" 'Why not?" Mr. Rogera asked.
" "Phe ought to have her mouth full of hairpins,'
aald the humorist." "Christian Register.
Tfo Precedent.
Mrs. Iwla made It a practice every night Just bo
fore bedtime to read some verses from the Bfbla tn
her little onea. Among thoae verses which she par
ticularly endeavored to Impress on their young minds
waa. "Whosoever smlteth thee en thy right cheak,
turn to htm the other also."
The following morning Jack came Into the house
aobblng bitterly.
"Why, what'a the matter?" anxiously queried tha
mother.
"Sister hit me."
"Have you forgotten about turqjng the other
cheek?"
N'-n-no. boo-hoo!" walled Jack, "but I couldn't.
She hit ma In the middle." New York Times.
A Conelderate Wife.
Senator John W, Weeka of Maasachusatta. amllad
when one of a party in a Boaton club alluded to hen
pecked husbands, and aald that he waa reminded of
a man named Batea
One afternoon Batea waa having a little gabfekt
with an old acquaintance, when the latter spoke of
married life and the beauty of having a happy home.
"There where I have a whole lot to be thankful
for," aald Batea. -1 have a wife who looks after me
constantly. As a matter of fact, there are times
when aha even takea off my ahoes for me."
"I aee," thoughtfully muaed tha acquaintance. "I
auppoae that Is when you come home tired at night."
"No. no," smilingly corrected Batea.' "It la when
she thinks that I am about to slide out early In tha
evening." Philadelphia Telegraph.
People and Events
The San Francisco exposition reports a surplus of
Siil.OiQ over expenses, with alg more months to run.
Brooklyn and Ixng Island paid U.410.0H0 In Income
taxea The teem of the rontrlbutora for the demo
cratic party at this moment would not crowd a peani't
shell.
A wise old Jury In New York decided that a man
who Indulged In a soul-kiss with a widow violated the
laws of neutrality and granted hla wife a decree of
divorce.
IjouIs Perlmutter of Waterbury. Conn., waa Joked
and Joshed into court with a petition for a change of
name. The court agieed, and the new IaiuIs Mullet
knows "Mr. Potash" only by hearsay.
A Connecticut youth who was to have been tha
ealutatortum of hia class In Hartford, waa refused
graduation because of deficiency on the horliontal bar
and tha padded. Hia goat-riding score did not save
him.
A colony of squirrels from a picnic ground In Chi
cago hopped on a peanut cart while trie peddler waa
taking hla afternoon siesta and carried away half hla
stock. The reddler yelled and. waking, made the equ r
rela climb a tree.
A genuine hole In the ground with no known end
ie reported at Tonopan. Nev. Tha bottom of a mine
shall disappeared between shifts, leaving an abyss, out
of which Ice cold air aseenda TonopaJt has not had
much publicity for two yeara
'Oena Debs has been heard from. His voice Is still
tee war "on tha capitalistic class." That la the only
brand of war Gene delights In. At Cents rvllle. Ia..
last week ha told a hunch of admirers that ha would
not go to war for any nauon on earth.
Reports from eaatern bathing beaches having la do
with feminine bathing suits, are calculated to thrill
hesitant vacationists. Tha autta are beyond descrip
tion there la not enough to deerrtba merely a bit of
picturesque color for tha animated scenery. Man's
bathing suits continue on the ancient abomination
plan.
Prediction t ome Trne.
COLUMBUS. June 2.-To the Kdltir
of The Bee: I see quite a little discus
sion over the question whether Mr.
Bryan's resisnatlon as secretary of stat
waa a smiden conclusion or whether he
was Just waiting for the proper moment
to get out of the cabinet gracefullv. In
this connection let me quote what scm
to lie an tneplreu article predicting his
retirement, which wss printed here by
l.dgar Howard In his paper wsy back
last December In thla he save:
la Pecretary Brian netting ready to
leave the lahlnet? Recently 1 visited
several eastern arid southern sections of
the country, and there I found h Ken-rul
Impression that the gr-at commoner wi'l
not much lonaer retain his chair Ht the
right hand of President Wilson. 1 do not
know the mind of Secretary Bryan. I am
one Nebraska democrat who never
claimed to be the personal representative
of Mr. Bryan. I never heard him speak
a word on the subject of lenving the csh
Inet. But I have a firm opinion of my
on that he will not remain In the presi
dent's offlcinl family during the term
for which President Wllfon waa elected.
For mv own part I shall be hoping that
the retirement of Secretary Bryan niav
rot be delayed. In nls exalted position
he has demonstrated lo the world thut h
could be n great In toe practice ns In
the preaching of auhltnte principles. He
has given to his country a fair share of
Ms services In a time when those services
have splendldlv helped the president in
guiding our ship of state from the shoals
of atrlfe. He haa earned the enjoyment
of a aeaaon of home life.
To me thla looks as If Mr. Bryan were
contemplating resigning at lea.t six
months ago. M. J,
"He Is a
Redd nd
When Socialism Cornea.
OMAHA. June 28 To the Editor of The
Bee; Your editorial rapped "Future of
Britlah Industry," waa very interesting
Indeed, especially so to socialist. Allow
me. however, to correct the last para
graph, wherein you say that If aoclallza
tlon of production Is good in time of war.
may it not also be found good in timo
of peace?
British Industries are not aoclalixed at
the present time, nor is there mu !i hope
of their being socialized until the work
ing class of England becomee class con
scious. The Industries ' of Britain are
Just under government control, not even
ownership. Po you see there is a vast
difference between government control
and ownership, and the socialisation of
industry.
Under the present plan the government
Ifc Riiaranteeing profits to the owners,
and after the war they expect to return
them to their owners. When Industry Is
socialized the workers own and demo
cratically manage the Industries for use
Instead of for profit, and especially would
they refuse to use those Industries lo
"1 think
business."
"Looks
"Yes; the
to he one in
Get the
Round Package
(T CAUTION 7
make weapons to murder their fellow
workers. JESSE T. URILLII ART,
Ml Farna-m Street.
Democratic I.eadtna: Strlnara.
NORTH LOUP. June 2, To the Editor
of The Bee: The truth geta out occa
sionally if you look for It. In one of the
country papers appears the following?
from Lincoln:
The atate board of Irrigation has given
permission to a group of Grand Island
cn pita lists to Install a water power plant
on the South Ioup river, sufficient to
generate fffn horsepower of current. The
plant will cost .T6.00n. W. H. Thompson,
chairman of the democratic state com
mittee, is a member of the company, and
with him are T. H. Fiitz, head of the
lighting company of Orand Island: A.
O. Fraaler. D. B- Myere, F. H. Monroe
and B- B. Bunny. The latter named
gentleman Is the head of tha Bell tele
phone Interests In Chicago.
Who is the lighting company of Orand
Island other than the General Electric
interests controlled by the Rockefellers'."
Mr. Thompson ia the bone and flesh of
the Bryan sentiment in Nebraska. Can
you see why Billy was ao Interested In
the last legislature? Two water power
bills were the result. The people should
take note. of what the democratic party
stands for.
But that la not all of It. Thla crowd
have backer! a sentiment that to im
prove Nebraska water power altea would
run the atate Into millions of dollars of
debt. But here they are purposing to
Improve 670 horsepower on J66.0HO. which
would be SR2 per horsepower for Improve
ment, and if they can manage to sell the
current for centa per kilowatt hour to
tha consumer the Income will be more
than ??1,W annually.
The simple fact la that the lighting
plant of Orand Island baa aent engineers
onto the ground to estimate the exact
cost of the improvement. Orand Island
haa a municipal plant and thla deal la to
be made the basla for destroying the en
terprlae. Can the people of Nebraska
aee what democracy stands for? Can
you see why the Omaha electric light
bill waa defeated, and by wtlom? Here
are a few Orand Island democrats who
pretend to itand tip for their community,
but who In reality are placing their people
under the bondage of Wall atreet. More
than that, the irrigation board la con
trolled by the governor and attorney
general two democrate. Win the people
awake to the fact that the greatest dan
ger to this republic and any civil govern
ment la the concentration of wealth,
and that tha water powers of the atate
and nation are the greatest sources of
wealth? The farmers should get together
and elect a governor.
WALTER JOHNSON.
Tips on Home Topics
New Tork Poet: Mr. Brvan's succes
sive statements make It Increasingly evi
dent that be resigned la a fit of passion
ate admiration for Mr. Wilson.
Boaton Transcript: Toung ladlea return
ing from hospital service In tha war sone
seem particularly anxloua to Impress their j
families with the fact that while abroad
they did not learn how to acrub or wash
Jlshea.
Brooklyn Kagle: The Peerlesa Quitter
will tell In three aigned arlhiea how easy
it la for everybody else In the world to
agree and hew he couldn't agree with
his chief. These articles need not be
taken aa an ultimatum. If tlity don't
catch on the Peerless Quitter can try
something else.
Baltimore American' The warden of
Sing Ulnar w ants members of I he new
constitutional committta in New York to
witness executions In the prison as a
proof of the horror of capital punish
ment. But, to be entirely unb'ased oa
the subject, the members should also wit.
nees a murder or two, preferably such as
thoaa of children by tha latest Jack the
Ripper, to compare horrors.
Springfield Republican: The Indiana ef
the Cherry creek district, South Dakota,
have Just held a farmers' institute of
their own without welting for state In
structors. If ha ran keep out of the Jaws
of tha land sharks for a little while, there
Is every resaon to expect the Indian io
become an Important factor in tha agri
cultural development of the far west
aecretary Laim, fortunately, la alert to
tha Justice and senae of tha situation.
r
r
propcrt and both make money." Louis
ville Courier-Journal.
"I'on't you Knn-, Johnny, thst If you
'refuse to 'etui, e buck there enn t be any
fight with Tommv Mlfklns?''
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.
"Your friend seems to take very grave
Views of lire. -
"Well, you see, being a candlemaker.
It l natural for him to wh cercous at
limes. '-Baltimore American.
"Trv to smile," ssld the hes 1 of the de-
'srtiiient store. Lock at yonder clerk.
e is clwsvs smiling."
"He finds It esv to smile. He sells
f u e powder to pretty girls I sell collar
buttons to old vro.ictir ' l.otileMlle
t ourler-Join r.al
"Yes 111, rtpitu tee -men uui.
wouldn t be sny flrht Tommy would
have it all Ins "n way and Id get a
Plam licking. "-Washington star.
V'iVt KARIB8LE
Ll KABARET
A
very distinguished appearing
men. A captain of ind iMn , i n pet.
"You re wrong He drives n iitnev."
"How do vo'i know'1'
"I tspped lim on the shoullcr with
n.y fan, and he rea-hed buck under his
arm for a nickel."- Houston Post
"How did Mabel catch cold .' '
"Her own carelessness. ."Mie fntgit that
It Is fashionable to wear fu.s this aum
,i er. aud went out without them."-!-trolt
l":ee Press.
Plsywright-r wont n hat ele eis'it.
Unfler Mr Penem oil alwaxs wear
122 fc '
A TUT S A PUStfM
1 R EttMPl CARUSO,
.ewurfi rati lilifcDIECrrA! UxQ
avl fxvaen irr ------ ,
How for." asked the one automobtllsi1
of Hiiother as they met at a turn In tha
rond. "is it from here to the next town
; whero there's a repair shop?"
I "Fle-.en hills, three bad bridges, one
long stretcn of deep sand and two ar
; rests." Lit".
a lx and a auartcr.
Play w rlaht Sir. 1 know what 1 waul
My comedy whs a eueerss last night
Chicago Ne va.
"Pe iple in seismic regions all belong
to one denomination. "
"I never heard that."
"Indeed. Its a fuel. Without excep
tion, they are all ipiskei s."- Baltimore
American.
SPOILED THE SITUATION.
Chicago News.
Thl She was fair to look upon. 1
' Yes. very fair to see;
; I knew at once my heart was gone,
I It beat so violently;
Which sounds mucn like a paradoa
"I've got to sit up with a sKU friend
tonight." he shWI.
"Well," she retorted. "T hope you d
him good," and from the wav she sali It,
he knew that he hadn't "got by." 1 ctro:t
Free Press.
Hut hear me patiently.
I.
She knew a lot of pollywogs.
Of Oreek and Latin, too,
Of conic sections and of logs.
And bad read Bergson through:
Which. If you know what rot he wrote
Seems quite a bit to do.
"Elsie has an admirer who Is a shoe
maker by trade and she can't get rid
of hitn. he follows her so."
"Well, isn't it unite natural for a shoe
maker to be always at one's heels?"
Baltimore American.
We spoke of social srrvlce anl
fine's rich tn tlnnineSS!
doea
he know anything i f;n' thought Oumplowltz simply grand.
about yachting?
Oreene Say. he eou'dn'f tell the dif
ference between a mushroom nmhor and
a toadstool. Yonkers Statesman
i Whereat. I answered, es;
! Which, since 1 didn't know the guy,
j Was Just a rancid ,;ues.
The moon rose o'er the campus trees
As bv my side she walltfd,
And I was wondering should I squeeze
Her hand, tb while we talked.
W hen all at once a beg crawled 3own
Her hiv-k -and then she sqtiawked!
I'll
go Into the real estate
good to you.
eh""
real estate business seems
which two men can swap
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