V
TIIF; BEE: -OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 5. irtr.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BT RDWAHH ROggWATKIX.
VICTOR ROSKWATKR, FMTOR.
Ts Pee Publishing Company. Proprietor.
CKB BUILDING, FARNAM AND tEVrtrrgF.WTH
gntareg at Omaha postertVe as eeoond-class matter.
Pr man
er Y'r.
St A
4 SS
, 4 M
...... 4.00
I On
TEKMg OF BCB9CP1PTION.
Py earner
rr month.
KmVr end 5'inday.., e...
ally without Sunday....' eve...
Fvenlng and Sunday "e...
Evening without Sunday., Ko...
Sunday Ha Only to...
fiend notice ef ehar.se of addresa er Complaint of
Irregularity ta delivery to Omaha Bn, Circulation
KrMtTTANCK.
KemJt 6y draft, etpreee at rtal erdet Only two
-nt Mimpi reeetved In rment ef (mail ae
oounta. Pomona! checks, eacept on Omaha a ad eastern
exchange, cot aeoeptee.
omens.
Omaha The Pee B'llldln.
South Omaha Bit N street
Cminrtl fcliiffsH Kerth Mala Street.
Lincoln Ltttte ulimr,g.
Olffitl H-art Butldlne-
New York Room IIM. SM Fifth tvtntia
Pt. Lei-B) New Rank of Commerce.
WMnrUn 7 Fourteenth St., N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE).
'Address rTrsien( matlnf t news btw
aortal matter to Omaha Baa, Editorial Lwpertmeua,
ed1
53,406
State of Kehrnaka. County of Douglas, aa. :
Dwlght Wllltuma, circulation manager of The ee
PaMtafcinf emay. Mnf duly sworn, says that the
ve-age circulation for tlx month of April, 115. waa
M,404 .
DWIHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager,
ftuhecrihed in my presence and sworn to before
ma, this lat day of May, I'll.
KOBKBT HUNTER, Notary Public.
Babocrlber leering trie city temporarily
. boald hoee Tbo Hem mailed to them. Ad-
will bo changed aa oftea aa reqacetett
r
Ho
Thought for tha Day ,
MMMMMMW MM MM MM
5efcf eat Mr. brmprnt k
' 1mm but ana, but 2 mm one; eaanof dosutry
f Afcd, owl J ea is mArt0. W Aol 1 can do
ottffAl to do, and tenet I tvght to do,
Ocd' kelp, IwM do. .4 no.
it laayiubl thAt ava tbould bo sipped
by a front.
Tho follow who "told-you-ao" will ba nuaiar
out for a fow dayt.
Got ready for tba azt round, which thould
ffaish too Job of eonaoildatlng ut all into Greater
Omasa.
', If w bad onljr fivaa veue to women laat
fall, the campaign and the election would have
been brightened by many more daahei of enliv
ening color.
Note that Pennsylvania oouru retuae to dtv
tlnguUh between natnraliMtlon feee and othtf
fees which have to bo accounted for and turnel
into tbo treaaury.
! '
Paint up! Clean up! 1 A lot of vliitora re
coing to "stop off In Omaha" during the next
few tnontha, and It la to our Interett to make a
favorable impreaalon. . ''
What to Do After Election.
With the election off our hands, the good
people of Omaha will be permitted td resume
eorne little matters that have been Uld over as
unfinished budneas.
Anions these items, first In importance, per
haps, Is the city planning scheme. It was par
tially worked out before the legislature was
asked to make the necessary amendment to the
charter to give It life. Now even greater need
for this work is more apparent and more urgent
than ever, with the extension of the city to in
clude Its suburbs. The general plan should be
worked out as speedily as possible, because of
the assistance It will be in planning for public
and private Improvements that must be made.
Another problem that will be np to the clt
commissioners, and waiting for consideration, is
the collection and disposal of garbage. This ha
been dealt with In makeshift fashion for many
years, and has never been on a satisfactory basli.
Some definite plan for the settlement of this Im
portant question should be worked out very soo-i
after the new commission gets into running
order. .
The Commercial club Rhould press for the
railroad line into South Dakota direct. This Is
the most important railroad proposition now
before the city. It means the opening of a great
productive region, whose output should have thi
advantage of the Omaha market. Interurban
line should not be neglected and many other
Important projects have been mooted that
should not be permitted to languish.
Omaha's echedule for the future has many
important matters set down, all tending to tho
growth and betterment of the city, and plenty
of work for all in pushing them to a successful
ending.
Waiting' for the Official Report
The administration is wisely withholding
Judgment on the Gulfllght case unt.ll it is in full
possession of the facts,- which are not as Vet
at hand. It could do nothing else, for reports ro
far received consist of statements to the Amer
ican consuls, made by members of the crew of
the OulfMght, or come through English sources.
It Is not at all likely these will be made any too
favorable for the Germans. We may leave it to
the president to take action, it any be needed,
when he has had both sides of the story from
American sources. The incident Is exasperating,
but It is hard to. believe that a German com
mander would deliberately attack the American
flag under the circumstances. It Is not the only
case in which the rights of neutrals have been
dlsregared, nor Is Germany the only nation to
offend in this manner.
Strange, however, that the trainmen became
thoroughly convinced that Arbitrator' Nagel was
prejudiced only after the award was made
.which fell short of satisfying them. '
A fitting celebration of Nebraska's semi
centennial of statehood must be had despite leg
islative ignoring of the occasion. - Nebraska
will hare a fiftieth birthday only once. .
The meter reading tells you what your water
bill is to be and what your gas bill Is to be. and
there Is no reason why it should not also tell you
w hat your electric lighting bill is to be.
In several district the Voting was seriously
delayed by non-arrival of ballot boxes. Had this
happened in other days it would hare been a
great conspiracy of the powers that be to dis
franchise voters by the wholesale.
There will be no official recognition by this
covernment of the present Mexican factions.
Such is the tip from headquarters. Still If Is
likely Uncle Sam would doff his hat respect
fully if a few Mexican funerals came his way.
"Genuinely Popular Government."
Two things will hava to ba dona In Nabraaka ba
(ora we can hava genuinely popular government, the
veto power ahould ba taken away from the governor
and the state aenata ahould be abolished. We believe
the people of Nebraaka are Intelligent enouarh to Bend
representatives to Lincoln In eno body and hava them
make laws for the people, without any brake being
k put on them by a amaller body that the special Inter-
tbs power to set all their work at naught. Blair Pilot
The inference' is not only that Nebraska does
not now have "genuinely popular government,"
but that we have never bad it, and that no' other
stste In the union has "genuinely popular gov
ernment." . If this were true. It would logically
follow also that we have never had genuine
'popular government nationally, because we have
two bouses of congress acting as a brake oa one
another and subject to a president with a veto.
The lack of logic in this proposition, however, is
dUplayed by the declaration that the people are
intelligent enough to choose one body of faithful
and honest representatives, although not ' in
telligent enough to choose a second body of law
makers or A governor who will honestly and
faithfully exercise check on .the law-makers.
Unfortunately, If we are not to have "genuinely
popular government" in Nebraska until we
abollrfu one branch of the legislature, and ex
tinguish the veto power of the governor, we are
doomed tb be enslaved for some time to come, for
at best.lt would take years to alter these buelo
provlslona of our constitution.
The passage quoted, however, serves to il
lustrate the two widespread lack of clearcut
conception of popular government, and the loose
talk indulged by those who always ftnd every
thing wrong and nothing fight, and demand a
change Just to have something different.
It is Impossible to determine at thi dis
use from the war sons whether death by as
phyxiation or by shrapnel offer tho least amount
cf human suffering. The victim never, tells.
Either way accomplishes what war was Invented
for. Consequently a weary neutral world must
calmly await the last word of the doctors on
this minor detail. . .
The export trade of the United States with.
Canada during the fiscal year 114 amounted to
1821,600,000, four and a half times greater thn
exports to South American countries. The fig
ures are Impressive from a trade standpoint ar.d
equally as an assurance that the land-hungry
Americans who Invaded the Dominion in years
3at are getting many of the comforts of borne-
mmmtmm MM) e4 ti
Ftonaer Hook and Ladder eompaay No. 1 tela
trated Ha twenty-fitth annlvaraary. and at the aanie
ttme Stabanded. It was oraanlaed May t 1KU. with
(Benjamin 4lckle Ha ftrat foreman. The parade today
waa very Imoreaewa. the truck being handeomely
deraUd with fioaera and flasa. Addreaaea were
delivered by Mayor Boyd and A. D. Jonea. and a
ball at the ekatlog ruvk rencluded the evening.
Omaha people mn to hava loel Intereat In baaa
bU. and for ihle reaeun Alanaaar Hey la eerloualy
oofiBldertng tranator of hie club ta af InnaapolLa.
Fred Bladen left for Weat Point, where he enters
the military academy. ,
Judg-a David Brewar of the United State a clrcu.t
oeurt bench Is here and quartered at the Pakton.
Principal Lewi of toe tilth school, who had con
to New Ork-ena ta recuperate after aa attack ef
pneumonia, wrltoa to frlenda ha la rapidly Improving.
The IndianapolLe baae ball club put Omaha to thi
Vd by a ecore of 11 to ft
MU. Marie Atnx. the moat charming tittle
iml:a'ii the American atace, la at the Millaid,
axruinaniid by a dogeo ur moie large trunka. whlrn
c-ontala her macnlfti-eni ar4rore, aald ta be airnpiy
Corgeouf. . w
k!ra Ltnd Invliea patrona to call at her rvaidoe.
?C4 LkWUre atrt. nd encuuraoo srood dreaamakera
ta TMceua la Otaaha.
China and Japan.
Political developments in the far east sug
gest that Chink and Japan are Just now peril
ously near to war, but the complications of the
Asiatic govern menu are likely to get sestet at
tention from the world,' so long as Europe occu
pies the center of the stage. China is in a pe
culiarly difficult position. It has neither army
nor navy, in the modern sense, and the nations
which have guaranteed Its integrity are now so
situated as to be unable to render assistance,
even If so inclined. The United States la pledged
only to the "open door" in China ana not to the
maintenance of the Integrity of the territorial
rights of the empire. '
'Japan is also in a critical stage of national
existence, both politically and economically. IU
flight Into the upper region of world politics has
been enormously coatly, with little or no return
so far. Japan suffers from an enormous debt,
and Its tsxes are at a rate that is ruinous and
beyond understanding in this country. Forty
cents out of every dollar produced in Japan goes
to pay 'taxes. The leaders of Japan realize that
war la all but beyond their reach; but they alsj
realise the serious' nature of domestic problems
that are pressing always. Some outlet roust be
had for the congested population or Japan, and
new sources' of revenue must be found, and frota
Korea to Manchuria Is but a step.
The Kuropean sttltude is somewhat cynic
ally set forth by the London Times, which re
marks: "The moment is not well chosen for
Europe to lecture Asia on political morality." It
this means anything, It is that Japan will have
a free hand so far as England Is concerned;
other "scraps of paper" will be torn up. and
China will probably feel the foot of another Mon
golia conqueror.
An official anaJyala of our foreign commerce
for March and tor the preceding eight months
of the fiscal years drives another nail in the cof
fin of the notion that neutrals profit by war. The
net loss of this country for months amounts to
$14,000,000. derpite the huge exports of war
supplies.
Echoes of the Editors' Meet
Wahoo Wap; Bay, do you knew It la a sreat thing
to hava them annual Catherines. You forget your
bop and dally business, grind and listea to oratory,
tnuaio and troubles of the other man. Omaha, antet
tamed us quite royally and tho way tho newspaper
folks enjoy themnelve we really believ It Is appre
ciated, ffometlmes wa wonder how Omaha can stand
It to entertain ao laviahly. Probably spent US a head
on everyone of us. There were three In our party,
which would make KIO. The only way wa raVi oaaa
our eonaelenca and f I stir to pay It back Is spending
about 1300 a month the year round for paper and print
ing supplies end publishing aeml-edvartlstng matter
for tha publicity department of the Omaha Cemmer
clal club.
' Bloomrleld Journal: One hundred and forty-eltfht
editors of Nebraska oamo acroea with a good alibi
If tha "papor Is not up to Its usual standard thU
week," for that number enjoyed tha hospitality tut
which Omdho is f amove at thatr convention held In
that city. ' This convention and Omaa, have been
reaolved Into a mutual admiration and benefit so
ciety, with the resultlne advantages about sqtiatly
divided. ,
Hlldreth Telescope: Tha Commercial club of Omahw
certainly scored a ten-etrlke whan It secured K. V.
Parrlah aa manager of Its bureau of pnWIetty and
promotion. Mr. Psrrleh is certAlnly a live wire. 1U
may occasionally eat, but wa feel sure ho never
sleeps. To him Is largely due tha fact that tho feel
ing of antagonlam to Nebraska's metropolis Which
was prevalent out In tha state for' e many years
has been replaced by the ktndllaet of feelings and
beat wishes for the sucoess of Omaha and her exten
sive anterprlses. Tho Interests of Omaha and tho rest
of tha state are Identical and there ahould bo noth
ing but peAca and good will between them.
Bmerann Enterprise: Wa ware royally entertained
by tho Commercial club ef Omaha and heard many
splendid talks about tho big city of Omaha, hut there
was one thing that wa could not help taking notice
of. and that was at the various banquets riven in
honor of the Nebraska editors: nary a smoke bore
tho mark of an Omaha cigar factory or the union
label. Tot they are boosting for Omaha products.
O. conalstency. thou art surely being erased from
the English language.
Atkinson Graphic: Ae a suburb of Nebraska, Omah
Is a delightful spring vacation resort Particularly
whan tha commerclallats thereabout sex out to enter
tain a parcel of convention from all over tha
state. That's a combination for pure unadulterated
Ainuaement, with ten-round banquets, oonosrts and
street car Joy rides. They ell want you to Come
back and you all want to come back. Here Is a ease
where tho come-back Is nearly always effective.
Bsttle Creek OnUrprUM: The country editors are
entertained In Omaha light royally. Omaha was never
known to do anything by halvee, and whan tho up
state b'hoya Mister their feet on the pavements
Of tho metropolis there's always something doing to
tnaka them forget the discomfiture. And after we've
dined on the a las, etc., there remains tbo satisfac
tion of getting hack homo, shoving those tired and
aching toes Into the old slippers and pushing up to
a feed of dandelion - greens, flavored with a dash
of sow belly. . ..
Twice Told Tales
Restrained by Lew.
A traveling salesman for a Oanselvoort street
wholeaale grocery firm, recently back from a trip
through the rough landa of eastern Pennsylvania, telle
thia possibly true tale;
"One day on my last trip I had a alx-mlle ride to
make to tha county seat, and the small vfltage In
which I was had only one horao that I could biro and
no other form of conveyance. ' 1 may aay that friend
had landed ma In the town that morning from his
car and 1 had Sold goods enough to pay the expenses
of the trip. '
"Welt, 1 got away on tha sorriest specimen of a
horse I ever straddled and I was to send him back
by the mall carrier: though not as a parool post pack
age. It took me two houra to cover the dlstanoo I
was sorry enough I hadn't walked and as I passed
tha county Jail on my old bag of bonea a face grinned
at me from between the bars of a small square window.
I was too sore to smile, but I nodded to the grin,
and the prlaoner called to ma:
" 'Say. mister,' ha said, 'how'd you like to trade
that critter for thirty days In lalir
"Juat then 1 would have been glad enough to
have traded, but the law wouldn't let me, and I rotle
on." New York' Sun.
Disappointed.
Little Wale, aged . was quietly playing on the
porch one afternoon, while her father and one of his
friends were enjoying a smoke and having a chat oa
political matter They paid no attention to tho little
girl's presence, and Klsla seemed wholly absorbed In
her dolls.
That evening Hlste appeared to ba unusually silent
and thoughfuL "Vt'hvn bedtime came and the knelt
down to say her pray era there came the usual peti
tions, and then, with a slight pauae. she resumed In
a very earnest manner: ' ,
And now. Ood. pleeea take good vara of Tour
self, for If anything should happen to Tou, wa ahould
only hava Mr. Wilson and ho hasn't come up to
father's expectations." Philadelphia Ledger.
The Laat Toio.
Dr. Charles H. Parkhurst, at a luncheon in Brook
lyn, launched out in one of hla witty diatribes against
cosmetics.
Why." said Dr. Parkhurst. "It is reported that
a Brooklyn man Was pleading with his wtxe tho other
day to apeitd more evenlnsa at home, and ha aald to
her:
'Do make up your mind to stay In.'
" 'No,' she anawared. 'I shall make up my taoe to
go out.' "St. Louis Qlohe-Democrat.
People and Events
8t. Iritis shoe factories report that huslneaa Is
picking up handsomely, more hands are going to work,
and the pruapocta are sunny on all aldea. Not a touch
of a war order tn tha report.
Ac-cording to the science of Jurisprudence, as in
terpreted by a Philadelphia court, a lobster Is not an
animal, and may e pinned to a show window of a
lobster palace without fracturing tha law ' against
"cruelty to animals.'1
Mls Mae Ilaralanbokoulous of New Bedford. Maes.,
sent the heartiest congratulations to ities Anna
tttulgruskaltMtege of Weaver, 111., on tha occasion of
changing her name to Mrs. Prank Matua. The former
adds that long names are Inconvenient "Herea hop
Inn,!" U lth a view ef peaalng down the Une to tha con
aumer a prospective booat in city taaea, landlorda of
New Tork are trow Incorporating ta leasee a clauae
making tenants carry their aha re of the load. Tha
process Is esperted to Increase tho volume of tbo
"roar." (
A noted millionaire of Wichita, Kaa , one of the
propa of tha town, has been called Into the federal
court to aaarer a federal charge of mlabraadtng hla
patent medicine out of which his fortune came. The
misbranding charge Involves making rales repreaenta
tlon regarding the curative value of hla elUer.
buncombe county. North Carolina, Itaa ether die
tlnrtiona whit h tende a touch of realiam to the euphony,
of the title. It haa tho lerceM debt of any county In
the atate. amounting to T.t per cent of the total Ha
bltltlea of all counties The money Is said to have
been epent In making good roada, a daaa of public
Improvement, rightly Soaa, that redounds to tbo honor
of Bwacnanka.
Stlek. Ion, Man.
OMAILA, May 4,-To tho Kdltor of The
Boo: I'll stick to my man. and I'll stand
by hla side 'till his hair turns as white
as tha snow; wherever ho tarrtea I. too.
will ahtda. and wherever ha goes, 1 will
go. It he makes a great fortune I'll
atiroiy bo there, to claim a full share of
tho prise; but If ho ahould fall and sink
down in despair, I'll oonsole Mm and
hel? him to rise.
fcbould ha gain power and honor while
serving tha state, or In war win auooess
and renown; with pleasure I'll mix with
tho rich and tha great, and receive the
applause of the townj. yet should fortune
rebel, and deny him a place among peo
ple refined and polite, should detractors
envelop tils name in disgrace, and wealth
spread its wings and take flight; yet I'll
cling to ' my man and hla burden of
shame I'll divide, and bear half the dis
grace; and whether he Is, or is not free
of blame, he fs mine! and his cause TU
embrace!
I've no gushing lover to wean me away,
no soul mate whoao eyes are divine; my
man haa no wings, yet with him I will
stay, and I'll have no nve-plrates for
Mm.
I now he la but human, and
therefore has prone, like all other mor
tals, to err; but be g flesh of my flesh,
end bone of my bono, and we're bound to
forgive and forbear, and I've noticed
that those who ara hunting a man that
Is blameless, and free from all guile, are
no nearer their goal than tbo day they
began; so 11! freese to my man yet
awhile.
And again, there are other who think
they are wise, and could live a life free
from all care, if they had a pale man.
wtth white hands and black eyes, a high
brow, and a hypnotic stare; and so lbey
consult tho love witches, and arheme to
get rid of tha man they have wed, but a
bear In a trap is worth two In a dream,
and I'll o leave to my man 'till he's dead.
Tee, In sickness and health, and In Joy
Or In grief, we'll trot on throvgh life's
little span; and as long as I live I will
hold thia bolief, that a woman ehould
stick to her man.
SARAH PIMPLE, (Per B. O. M.)
Editorial Viewpoint
Boston Transcript: Indlcatlona ara
that Harry Thaw, will o back to the
coop about the time Porter Charlton
gets out.
Washington Post: if Alexander could
witness proceedings in his old stamping
grounds he'd promptly ledub himself tha
piker of the world.
Indianapolis News: Evidently the Brit
ish authorities are afraid that depriving
Tommy Atkins of his pint o' bitter would
bo too alarmingly like taking candy away
from a baby to be a pleasant operation.
Washington Bear: The , Roosevolt
Barnea case brings to attention tho in
teresting fact that there was time
when the colonel would rather be a pro
fessor of history than one of Its busiest
manufacturers.
Chicago Herald: Tha Japanese are re
ported to be on Mexican soil In Lower
California. It Lower California is as
much of a desert as a lot of western
and northern Itfexleo, the stay may cure
them of all ambitions In that direction.
Brooklyn Eagle: We already undersell
Wales manufacturers of tin plate by
about U per cent, ilttsburga plants are
to make extensions anil employ a thou
sand more men. In this product Amer
ica ahould soon have a world's market,
with little fear of Mtelng It recaptured
by any .rival.
Philadelphia Ledger. This Is Americas
greatest garden year. In village, town
and city there la an 'unprecedented
amount i of planting. It means mora
flowers and more vegetables more
beauty and more health. If you have
a plot Of ground and axe not ualng It
you are missing opportunity.
Philadelphia Record: The seaman has
loot "port" and "starboard;" -he Is likely
to lose "fathom;" It Is now proposed to
take off his wide collar and hla balloon
trousers. If this revolutionary measure
be determined on ws trust tbat some
other style of trousers shall bo put on
him. But after alt these changes In vo
cabulary and costume have been made,
bow shall we be able to tell in able
seaman from a laadl'-tbfcer? ,
Out of the Ordinary
Philadelphia dispatches ted of a woman
who had her husband arrested tor calling
her a chicken. ' a .
A hen that tikes to "Joy ride" Is owned
by Doputy Marshal Nick Phelps of Inde
pendence, Mo. When Mr. Phelps gets
Into his motor car to take a ride he al
ways has to "shoo" tho hen out of the
auto. Yesterday tho hen hid under tho
auto seat ami was not noticed unll
Phelps arrived downtown. "When dis
covered the hen began to cackle and an
egg was found beneath the auto aeat, as
though laid by the hen to pay her owner
for her tide. It served to appease Phelps
anger.
A boaa painter of Bath,' Me., said tbat
one of hla workmen was alighting bis
work snd on Investigation tho boss
found that tho man had neglected to put
on hla avert ax laa. He was told to mount
thorn, and an Improvement Was noticed
at ones In his work, which from that
time on foe. Uie entire day was perfectly
aatlafactory Wten "knocking off" time
arrived the 1 man found both lenses
of his spectaclea were In the case and
he bad been doing fine work wtth Just,
the framee to Improve his eyesight
Women's Activities
Mrs. Arvtlla Howard of Now Tork ta a
professional party woman, superintending
children's parties, arranging prograine
and In every way making It pleasant Sor
the children and eevlng tha mothers
trouble.
Stephen Oraham aaya that the Russia a
peasant woman has little or no house
work to do. as there are no beds to make,
all tha family sleeping on hay In the
baraa or on ooats on tha floor. There
are no tockings to darn, aa they all go
barelegged, and no dlahea to wash, as
tr.ey all eat out of one dlah and take the
meat la their flngera. All the cooking tg
dene tn one pot. meat. and vegetablra be
ing cooked together. Mothers do not
bother about their children and prac
tically all the housework thsy have to do
la to sweaai wit ta kmw ta a,
SUNNY GEMS.
"Will they rharg me much, do you
think, to get this advertising picture In
the paper 1"
"Oh, I think It very likely you ran set
It In at rut ratea." Baltimore American.
Pstlenee Was she shy en her birth
day T
'atrt-e Oh, yea; aha waa ahy about
ner di
ten candlea In
Yonkers Btateeman
birthday rake.
"What's the bahy e name. Bill?"
"Algernon."
"WhatT I thought you were going to
name him John'"
"Oh. that was when I still thrmstrt I
had something to say In the matter."
Philadelphia Ledger.
"A philosopher and a snek thief are
alike In one resjert."
"Uht might that be?"
"They both take an abstract view of
thlnys." Washington Star.
KABIBBIT
KABARET
gtocrj Fosi'STDsnvT
1NTC 7W IIMUt sterol
i porfr sn.Lr cfixcw &o
eWC VI Mg Mi A teTOf
"Auntie, did you ever set a proposal?"
"Once, dear. A gentleman asked me
to marry him over the telephone, but he
had the wrong number." Loutavllle Courier-Journal.
. "What do you think will be the music
of the future?" naked the woman, with
tho eronerous far-e.
"That depends. Where do you expect
to spend It 7" queried the man with tha
Intermittent hair. Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Tea st. Have you seen the non
reflllttble whisky bottle? i
Mrs. Crlmaoobeack Yes, but what I'd
rather see la a nonreflllabie husband.
Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Crawford I saw your husband
1
motoring today. He seems to be exare
fill driver. '
Mm. iTehshaw Indeed he la. Itw gen
erally makes s ear Jast until a new
mcdel Is out.-Judge. ,
"Two ef my friends are having a gnoial
war. One gives a dance end the tner
comes back at her with a bridge party.
So It goes."
"Have yon taken sides?"
"I should ear not. Ton fr"t nvsre In
vitations by remaining neutral." Louis
ville Courier-Journal.
"I suppose you want an tha friends
yoit can get."
"Yea," replied Fsnator Sorghum; "only
I can't help wishing a whole lot ef them
would be as aseertlvo before election as
they are afterward." Washington Star.
"Before the war broke out I erpectsd
to do well In Mexico with a typewriter
agency."
"You ought to do wall with typewriters
down there; Its a nation of natural-bom
dictators." Baltimore American. .
SECRET OF AGE.
New Tork Olebe.
He was a centenarian,'
A venerable sage. ,
I asked that he
Would tell to me
The secret of his age.
"Oedsook. my lad. I do net know:'
Thus feelingly bo spoke. .
"I do not drink.
1 acllpm think;
I dwnot chew or amoke!
"My habit are most regular;
All vice I have tabooed; -
My morale are
.Much over par.'
I fletchertse my. food.
I never was a gay young blads.
I've led a quirt Ufa,
I've made no beta,
I've paid my debts,
I'm trusted by my wife.
"Thus you will aee I eennot tU
Why I have lived so long,
Per I've been good
As sll men ahould
I have done nothing wrong! '
"Oh. venerable ssge." I said,
"If future bliss you prize.
And heaven gain
Trrn ahould ahstaln
From all such whopping lies!"
1 x
MM Jasssw- m get
Largt Package 10c
Order This When
the Grocer. Calls
ALWAYS keep two or three packages
t of Faust Spaghetti on hand it's a
dish that can be served several times
.'a week ,in so many different tasty
ways that one will scarcely ever com
plain on the grounds of sameness of tiiet.
'"KaiuoSr '
SPAGHETTI ', ..
is etrengthening. It is made from hard
Durum wheat that id extremely rich in
gluten. This is the f ood element that1
builds up muscle and tissue. '
Faust Spaghetti is also easy to digest.'
It's a cheap food, too you can well
afford to serve less meat when you have
Spaghetti. Write for free recipe book.
, MAULL BROS., St: Louli. U. S. t?
MaWMlWi..
i.
Light Four, )1750 Big Six, S4000
Beyond a Doubt
Mclntyre Auto Co.
Distributors Western Iowa and Nebraska
ST PAIIXAM STREET. PHONE DOUGLAS fttOd.
A
POSTAL
CARD
J L
TO THE
DiscrfcxKtisg
PUBLIC
Nw-7
Hotel Griswold
DETROIT
The most modern and homelike hostelry
In Detroit. Located In the center of the shop
ping district and within short walking distance
of all the theaters. Come where TOU will be
properly taken care of at
Reasonable Rates
.l.ftO end up. Knropesun.
Kin est Musical program In the city; daacJag
every evening. YO0 will have MT 'personal
attention.
I
-vl
"I
4
x.