Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, May 01, 1915, EDITORIAL, Page 14, Image 14

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    14
THE HEK: OMAHA, SATURDAY, MAY 1, 1015.
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD RQ8EWATER.
VICTOR JtOSEWATER. EDITOR.
The Bee Publishing Company. Proprietor.
FEK Bt'ILDlNU. FARNAM AND HEVENTKCNTH.
JTntare4 at Omtbt pontorflr, as second-class matter.
TKKUS or
ltd "rmdy
without 8ui
Fvenlng and Sunday
im um 9HTraar. ........
Tliy without Sunday....
SUBSCRIPTION.
By rar-rtur
par month.
By rnM
per year.
4 0
rwnlDf without Sunday.. IF-a....... J-5J
unday Bea only... 'l' 2
Bend iKitlra at change or eoarewa or mmr " "
Irregularity ta delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation
Iepartont
Remit by draft. axpnese or postal order. Otity two
cent Mtmn reewivad la payment of smell ee
eounts Personal cheeks, except n Omaha and eastern
exchange, not aoccptcd.
omcti
Osisha-The Baa Building.
South Omaha SH N street
Conner! Bluffs it North Mala afreet,
Lincoln I Little Building.
Chk-eg-eoi Hunt Building.
New York-Room 1V, fifth avenue,
ft. Iwils-MS New Bank of Commerce.
Washington 7 Fourteenth Bt. N. W.
CORREBPONDENCH,
rommunlrerJona relating to wi
ina u
Html
to rial natter to Omaha Baa,
Editor
and eel
Departmsoa,
MAKCH CUlOULATlOIf,
52,092
Dwlght William, riroufstlon manager of Tha Baa
Publishing company, being duly a worn, aa 7 a that the
average circulation for
IjWIOHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manajptr.
fiDhacTibad ta my presence and sworn to before
ma. this M day of April, WIS.
KObX.Hr jSrUNTER, Notary Puslla,
Snhacrlbere leaving 0m city temporarily
should fiave Tb. Bea nailed to them. Ad
sraU b chanced aa cfte aa ewqacatted.
uy l
Thought for the Day
StlmcUd by Mr. Wm. DUttU
. ."Otftt tfCMt 0 pwfeei doyf
Whtrtim eU no na vxtrk hut play,
Whfnin it U noqk ft m
, , '., -ZL W. LonQftllo.
4
Remember that boosting goes further than
knocking.'.
MgMH)pkakjtaMMajpaj
Cheer up! Political windjammers will b.
lnttrisod in two mora days. ,
Beaten down to brass tack a, tha electric
tight question look like a choice once more be
tween really reducing the rates or merely buy
ing a lawsuit. ,
Down at Lincoln there are five municipal
referendum proposition before the voters aa
gainst Omaha's three." Here's one (lace where
Lincoln beats us.! .;
Just what bearing the appointment of Sam
Patterson has .on. .the political fortunes of
Brother Charley cannot be determined until the
Lincoln returns are all in.
Athletic training is. not only desirable, but
necessary for youth. As an attractive prelimi
nary course, gardening and digging dandelions
beats every system la sight.
' Yes, but what has woman suffrage to do witn
our present Omaha city election? The people
thought that. issue was adjudicated for at least
four years by the Vote taken last fall.
On Juicy federal plum has fallen from the
tree, but that will aut Batiste the hunger of long-
waiting Nebraska democrats. Let them com.
fort themselves with tha thought that the tree
that can be shaken once can be shaken again.
The south professes to be thankful for the
Jolt of war which overturned the throne of cot
ton and forced a diversification of crops. On
another historic occasion war let In considerable
light In the same section.
Keep It Before the People.
Keep It before the people that the city of
Omaha Is a great business corporation, with
many and varied activities, for the benefit of its
people, who foot the bills.
Keep It before the people that this corpors
tlon represents assets of nearly 1200,000,00,
with annual Income and outgo of upward of
91.600,000.
Kerp It before the people that the active
management of this great co-operative business
devolves upon a board of directors of seven men
chosen to serve for three-year terms.
Keep It before the people that the choice of
itorkholrlprs has been limited to the fourteen
men whose names will appear ou the oflclal bal
lot, and that seven of these men will be chosen
as managing directors at the election next Tues
day. Keep It before the people that the real re
sponsibility is theirs to choose directors tor the
municipal corporation who will run Its business
economically and efficiently, and the way the
stockholders want it run.
If k 7Tf 'M rnmrmnr wv
England Not Tet for Prohibition.
A doubled excise tax on alcoholic beverages
will take the place of prohibition in the British!
kingdom, and the danger point In the war Is
again passed. Lloyd-George has taken advantage
of the agitation to turn a little more revenue
Into the royal exchequer, but the debate shows
the cause of prohibition to be hopeless. Even
the clergy declined to take the pledge of
total abstinence,. even with the example of the
king to sustain them. The good archbishop of
Canterbury said he had onoe tried abstinence
and found it did not agree with him, and this
view seems to be the more popular.
The outcome of the agitation Is not surpris
ing. The Bee at the beginning pointed out
that the British public was not so amenable to
royal command as the Russian, and the national
habit of taking a drink was too deeply rooted to
be easily eradicated. In making the final an
nouncement of the disposition of the question,
Lloyd-George told the House of Commons "I
am prepared to take a pledge never to politically
touch drink again." Ills sincerity In this will
hardly be questioned. It Is quite easy to under
stand that the present chancellor of the
exchequer, as well as the other members of the
cabinet, will be very willing to retire when the
burden of their present task Is lifted from
them.
None of the accounts of Colonel Roosevelt's
departure from the witness stand record bis
charactrrtftic exclamations. The absence of "a
bully time" and a "corking good time" Is the
one lacking color In the picture.
The once noted Sbeepshead bay race track on
Long Island is .being converted nto a motor
drome. Lovers of speedy horseflesh In Omaha
plaa to' hnild a race track within the oval of the
motor speedway. , Two pathetio acknowledg
ments of iu supremacy of the motor in speed
and pubUs favor. . ,
' .
The Rlggs bank attack pn the administration
of the Treasury department evidently strikes a
tender spot la the federal system of bank super
vision. The employment of Untermyer and Bran-
dels as special counsel for the government fore
shadows a more serious situation for treasury of
ficials than their statements at the outset indi
cated.
Methodists Talk of Union.
A council of MethodUt bishops, sitting at Des
Moines, has named a cotamlttee to take the pre
inary steps looking to the union of the three
branches of the church in the United States.
How to approach the task will be for this com
mittee to determine, and, when the clearing
away process has gone far enough, the actual
work will be undertaken. This is not going to
be accomplished In a little while. It is one of
the peculiarities of religion that It only takes a
little thing to start a schism, but once It Is
started, It seems all but Impossible to remove It.
The fine shades of distinction that separate the
sects are a continual source of wonderment to
observers from the outside, but to those who are
on the Inside these apparently Insignificant dif
ferences are all but Impassable walls.
The step proposed by the Methodists Is a
wise one. It will not only have the effect of
simplifying the religious practices of the church,
but It will make possible a more effective ad
ministration of Its material affairs, by. removing
such Impediments as the duplication of effort,
lack of uniformity and similar defects in man
agement. Even this Is not so easy of accom
plishment, as the Presbyterians have discovered,
In the course of their movement for consoli
dating the church In America. Property Inter
ests have arisen, ont of which certain vested
rights have developed, and the adjustment of
these Is a most vexatious undertaking.
However, the Methodists may be able to es-
cape some of the embarrassment their Presby
terian brethren have encountered. Their step
Is la the right direction, and. If carried out, will
have the direct effect of Increasing the effi
ciency of lhe church as a factor In the advance
of civilisation.
All About the Jitneys
Xn- B. rallartoa la Americas x-ulna
THE United Htatea la havlna- a tranaportatloti revo
lution. Forty-six cltie ara already Involved.
Every day another municipality )o!na tha move
ment led by the Jitney bus.
The groat street car and trmrtlon companies ara
flshtlna; desperately to maintain their claim Upon
tha streets of American cities. la dosen cities the
aid of tha courts has been Invoked to stop the prosreaa
of the Jitney bus.
Never In the hl'tory of the United Ptatea has there
been eo sudden and so unexpected an economic de
velopment. A few monrhs so, a svntus In Ixa An
geles put Into operation an automobile bus charming;
S-cent fares.
Today Jitney buaaea are running In almost every
large city In the west and central weat. and lines are
being started everywhere. The latest reporta Indies to
that there are between t.000 and S.ooo licensed Jitneys
operating In these cities. '
The name jitney Is Interesting In Itself. It baa
been used, especially among negroes and in the south.
to mean a 6-cent nickel. Varioua explanation of the
origin of the name have been advanced. The most
logical one coniea from Colonel William JX T. Shade "
of Ike City, la. Mr. Bhsde was for many years a
theatrical, circus and minstrel business manager and
advanne ajrent. He believes the word comes from the
French "Jetton," meaning a email metal dlak, aad
now applied to telephone alugs In France. It waa
used, also, to mean the srna.ll metal disks used aa
checks In gambling housea, and the word was In com
mon usage amcng the French and Creoles in Louisi
ana. Years ago a minstrel troupe playtf in Lke
Providence, I., and the negroes had mai of these
Jettons, which passed current aa small. change. " When
the cashier or tha mlnstrol troupe clrecked up after
tha performance he found himself with a quart or eo
of Jettons, which the negroes called Jitneys It be
came a common expression la mlnatreldom.
When the S-cent fare busses adopted the name '
Jitney they unconsciously found a trademark worth
millions In advertising. The name "atuok."
On Docember 1, 1914, a few Jitney busses ware
running In Los Angeles. In a week the streets were
lined with them. Han Franclsce, the Bay Cities, Port
land, Seattle and Ppoksne, had aelsed .upon tha Idea,
and private cere, sightseeing busses aad even trucks
were being transformed Into busses and licensed to
carry passengers. Denver took It up. Bait Lake,
Pueblo then Kansas City, where It . struck. ' hardest
In Kansas City the first bus, operated by IL W. Mil
ler, carried a passenger a trip on the average for
two daya. Inside of two weeks from the day be
started operating his car on tha Jitney basis there
were 200 cars In commission oarrytng over 2S.0OO pas
sengers per day, and tha number was steadily In
creasing. '
la New Orleans, where the public lone baa cam-,
plained against street car service, the Idea became
popular In a day. Inside of two weeks the street ear
company, which had refused to grant any conces
sions, waa advertising "scats for all." The Jitney re
sponded with B-ccnt fares for children and precipi
tated a merry war. In Halt Lake twenty pay-as-you-rnteir
Jitney cars are In operation and mora have been
ordered, making serious Inroads upon the traction re
ceipts. There are more than 100 Jits In operation in
Fan Antonio, Tex.; New Orleans reporta 139' passenger
cars operating, at a profit of S3 per day per bar; Kan
sas City now has 2tit cars licensed, claiming to or. try
S,008 passengers a day. Spokane has ninety bAssea
running, and the corporation formed to opeVte them
has ordered new fifteen and thlrty-nlne-paseenger
cars; Portland has a 1200,000 Jitney corporation; Mil
waukee has Installed big cars running- oa tan-minute
schedule over a three-mile line; Columbus, Cincinnati,
Toledo, Dayton, Akron, Hamilton, Springfield. In
Ohio; Peoria. III.; Terra Haute, EVansvllle. and In
dianapolis, In Indiana; Jackson and Vlcksburg, In
Mississippi; Oklahoma City, Tulsa and Lawton, In
Oklahoma; Atlanta. Birmingham. Memphis, Omaha,
Dea Moines. Minneapolis, St. Paul, Chicago. Balti
more, .Washington, are among the clttea that have
adopted the Jitney bus idea.
The Jitney has coma so suddenly that no one
'really knows whether it will solve tha (ra: ( portation
troubles of the cities or further Increase them. Soma
cities In their eagerness to escape from the traction
companies ara giving to the Jitney corporations rights
that may be Just as hard to abrogate aa the street
car franchisee are.
Tha two big problems ara congestion of streets and
danger of Injury. In Kansas City the trafflo police
and others declare tha Jitneys do not eon jest tranlo
as much aa s treat cars do. and ara easier to handle
Loe Angelea already Is complaining of congestion of
the main down-town atreeta and danger to pedeatrtans
and shoppers.
It Is evident that before toe Jitneys ara received
aa aa established public servlos factor some liability
Insurance must be arranged. The Jttneya are operated
chiefly by persons of small means, and tha danger
of personal injury of passengers is to be considered.
Tha street car companies declare tha proportion oC
passengers Injured will be larger than in any other
form of transportation, and that It will ba practically.
Impossible for Injured passengers to raoovw damages.'
Already the varioua Jitney corporations are plan
ning a great Jitney Insurance company, which will
guarantee the owners of Jttneya against liability for
accidents. ' .
EE
Astrtala ef Maale la Omaha.
OMAHA, April 30 -To the Editor of The
Bee: Omaha Is ragtime crasy. la It not
a positive proof of this when such or
aanlsatloas as the Mendelssohn choir of
Omaha and the Chicago Symphony or
chestra come together lit Joint program
and receive such small audiences a they
have for several years?
Should not the business men of our city
back up the Mendelssohn choir to the
extent of at least appearing at their
concerts?
If a ragtime band were to appear In
thai city they would have no trouble In
getting a crowd. People would gladly
aland up the entire evening to hear such
music; to hear the men with their blasted
cornets or to hear the trombones blare
cut an, ear-piercing blam! blam!
la It not a shame that a city the sire
of Omaha with auch a country to draw
from cannot fill the Auditorium for two
evenings, but can Jam a huchey-kuchey
enow at the carnival and keep on pouring
la It from the time It starts In the after
ttoon until It closes, and repeat this day
after day until the carnival festival la
over?
There are' buslneaa men In thla town
who would have It understood .that they
are well educated, but would rather go ta
soma burlesque show and see a chorus
of painted beauties swing their legs In
tha air than to hear the grandest muslo
ever written by the masters et the art
Omaha has a choir of which It should
bit proud, so let us not only say we ara
proud of ft, but show that we are help
ing to make their next concerts one grand
big euccees. A MUSIC IX)VER.
That Kirk aa Late Bowllna.
OMAHA, April . To tha Editor of
The Bee; In answer to a "kick on all
night bowling."
Not being able to have a personal Inter
view as I should like to with tha party
who naked you to publish the above com
plaint from the fact that his full name
aad address are not in evidence, I take
the only means of answering available,
but with full same and address attached
thereto.
As every one who enters my place of
business knows I have been very careful
about stopping play on all alleya at 12
o'clock, they must know It Is not with
my consent or favor that anything like
4 o'clock In the morning "bowling"
should have been In evidence at all.
Now as I myself enjoy sleeping and go
home to sleep with the asauranoe that
my place of business la quiet from 12
o'clock until morning, I would consider
It a favor to be told personally about an
occurrence of thla kind so that I can cor
rect same without ' giving the general
public the impression that I ara running
all night, whloh as they all should know
la far from being the existing state of
affairs. As to the other disturbances
mentioned In connection with thla same
complaint I do not know anything of
them, but will adjust at one what aeema
to have occurred during my absence here
Tuesday night.
Assuring tba author of tha above com
plaint and the public In general that I
would, appreciate, a 'personal interview
on any thing like the above hereafter.
W. L. SCHOENMAN,
Proprietor. The Farnam Alleys.
Here and There
mw its tmim ass ..
The fUst grand shopping excui-atua put on by
lxyal L. Bultb was pronounced a grand success. A
special excursion train came on the B. .A M., char.
lered for tlte exclusive use of the patrons of Smith's
diy goods stbre, and the enterprise la aald to be
jnpmcadcnted la the history of tha city.
A large audlenoe attended tha May day concert at
the Young Men's Christian association. Mr. McDonald
nd M'ss lla McUrtde carrying off spatial praise
miofttf Ub. erforrarra.
C taub suuersad la a victory over tba Cleveland
in the h bail grounds today. Boore, 4 ta 1
The caatiact waa let by tha county commissioners
to Jobu F. Coots to build tha rttaliUng wall erouud
tha court house. The price named Is I10. and the
work Is te be completed In ninety days.
Mr. and Mrs. George N. Smith and family, for'
inerly of PlatUmoutb, have come to Omaha to reelde
permanently.
canity tiuaha. aa old-time telegrapher. Is here
frwa MsinphU, ttsitlng his cousin, John A. Crelghton.
C r- fierrtsoa. ruooa S, Omaha National Lank
bulldlug. wants to mW a good family dnvftig horse.
Another strike Is threatened among Wsstera Union
telt graph, ffetur.
Arratigemwr.U have been made to locate the city
treasurer, city rlark. auditor and engineer In rooms
la the new county court buuae until other euarters
are available,
Eiculapiui Up to the Minute.
A new era has dawned in the practice of
medicine, or tuaybe It would be more nearly
accurate to say that the doctors are keeping
right up to date. For example, an Iowa doctor
actuslly flies to the relief of an Injured man, an
adventitious aviator taking him on his mission
at tha rate of 110 miles per hour. This is Im
provement with .emphasis. In days not so far
gone the Iowa doctor patiently made his way on
foot or horseback over the muddiest roads the
sdn ever shone on, his outfit of drugs, medica
ments and Instruments In his saddlebags, mov
ing from patient to patient on a never ending
round. He dispensed blue mass, calomel, quinine
and similar nauseous drugs In such liberality
that frequently a sick man got wall merely to
escape the doctor's attentions. Nowadays, he
mounts a swiftly moving flying machine and
outspeeds the wind to the bedside of the suf
fering, ministers to him from the plethora of
modern aids to health and leaves him, mind
composed and body restful, blessing the inven
tions of the age. The distance traveled by the
art of r'allng between the saddlebags and the
era of the flying machine Is not to be measured
In the terms of days and months, but In the
strides of science, which have been such that an
Omaha doctor recently felt Justified In testify
ing. In court that a first-year student In a good
medical school today sees more than Darwin
did In the senlth of his fame.
Twice Told Tale3 ,
Fixed the Beys.
An old clrcua man telle thla, one:
"The usual crowd of small boys was gathered about
tha entrance of tha tent in a town In Illlnoia A
benevolent looking old gentleman standing nearby
watched them for a few minutes with a beaming eye.
Then, walking up to tha ticket-taker, he said, with
air of authority: -
"'Let all these boys In, and count 'em aa they
pass.'
"The gatsman. thinking that the benevolent look
ing old gentleman was Indulging In a bit of philan
thropy, did aa requested. When the last lad bad gone
In, he turned and announced: Twenty-four, air.'
" Hlood.' aald the benevolent looking aid gentle
man, aa he walked away, "I thought I guessed right.' "
Philadelphia ledger.
Deflaltloa af Water.
Upon the ova of the annual meeting of the Ken
tucky Educational association another story of the
public schools may not come amiss. Thla one la aald
to have happened at the Washington school, where
part of the original work waa definitions of familiar
t hi nee.
"Johnny Jones, what is water?" asked the teacher.
For the moment Johnny waa stumped. Only for
the moment, though, for he triumphantly ana wared:
"Water la what turna black when you put your hands
Ui It" Louisville Times.
People and Events
"The democratic ideal," explains a Missouri
spokesman, "Is a realm with the bosses reduced
to the ranka and the people ruling 'through
strictly accountable representatives." The reality
in a realm of elective bosses who, In Missouri,
reject presidential nominations - because they
lack gumshoe endorsements, and in Nebraska
fight so fiercely for the spoils that a mouthful
rarely comes over the counter to nourish the
faithful. .
The suddenly developed tender solicitude by
the antts for the one present commissioner left
off the city hall "slate" Is indeed Inspiring. Not
quite inspiring enough, though, for them to
adopt the orphan for the reventh place on their
own ticket, which they have left vacant.
A high court doclaion grvea the jitney the right to
acuut for tha nickels la Virginia, without a franchise.
Liberty has a deep root In the Old Dcmlnkf.
Miss Missouri Hawkins of New York, Just over
the century mark, recall the time aha danced with La'
fayette. A great honpr survly. but what kind of dance
ceuia a gin or s ae wita a roaa of t, r
The divorce mills of Kan a do a Udx domeetie
business with becoming sobriety. One seventh of tha
matrimonial venturea of the state go away aad ap
peal to the court for relief from team work. Last
year there were t6.l weddlnse and t,XXs divorces.
Seven of the 106 counties didn't have a divorce case.
Warden .Osborne of King Btng has. a chance to
put his reform theories ta the test. Among his latest
boarders la a man who was care tried and ecnuitted of
murder and later sentenced to forty years for ellesed
participation In a holdup, then released by a higher
court oa the ground that he was not properly Identi
fied. The last turn of th wheal brought him twenty'
five yeara for robbing a sailor of M la this
theory goes against a tough proposition.
Editorial Snapshots
Washington Post: Senator Polndexter's
reasons for returning to the fold ace In
teresting, but none was really needed.
Washington Star: Peace aesslona at
The Hague are almost aa crowded as tha
Wednesday night prayer meeting when
the clrcua la In town. '
Indianapolis New: The discovery that
tha Japs In Turtle bay are really doing
what they aay they ara doing must be a
great disappointment to former Repre
sentative Hobson,
Philadelphia Ledger: Ones again Jersey
Justice wins. Holding a .careless water
company responsible in a! typhoid caaa la
fixing responsibility and. educating the
public at one and the same Unas.
New York Poat: Waa there any pre
meditation in President Wtlgoa's selec
tion of a D. A. B, convention aa tha
place at which to commend to his coun
trymen tha virtue of aellt-ra gitat?
Wall Street Journal; If you corae Into
Wall street for a vclean-ui," you usu
ally get It. Suppose you content yourself
with profits which would amply satisfy
the people who really know what they
are doing?
St. Louis rtepubllo: President Wilson's
reference to the great silent body of
American's In his recent neutrality speech
will remind .many people of the faot
that the moat of the noise Is coming from
a very few men.
Indianapolis News: It's all well enough
for the Noordam, with the women' a peace
conference delegates, to fly a white flag
with the word "Peace" In blue lettera on
It but euppoee soma of those submariuea
can't read English t
Pittsburgh Despatch: Kitchener, Lloyd
George says. Is very gratified at the re
suit of recruiting and the government
does not believe conscription could do
any better. Some of the American mili
tarists .may ponder that expert testimony
with profit
Philadelphia Ledger: Last week sev
enteen years ego our war with tmln
was declared. It lasted scarcely three
months and a half. To October t l&M.
the total death a reached t10. of whom
l.St died from disease, and tha war ex
penditures to that data amounted ta
about J4O,000,00i). Compare these figures
with those of the European ooafUot and
they seem a mere skirmish. And yet at
the time they seemed very serious.
Philadelphia Ledger: America' a strength
la to be found In Ita 1.700,000 business con
cerns. What they want ta freedom of
opportunity and the unfettered uae of
their time. It coats them money to till
out intricate Inquiry blanks from Wash
ington and attend benevolent Investiga
tion They do their beat work when let
alone. And tha kind of government that
frets and hinders them hampers produc
tion and hurts tha general good.
Springfield Republican: The passage
of tha widowed mothers' pension bill by
tha New York assembly by the over
whelming vote ef 19 to T, following the
passage of the bill by tha senate several
days before, is atriking evidence of the
popularity which auch legislation has ac
quired la tha few years since It was first
tried. This form of relief has reached
Its first Important development In thla
country aad Is likely to remain for aoene
time America a most Important contribu
tion to the modern problem of social in
surance which. In its several divisions,
has received very much av attention In
Europe than here.
A foxy gardener at Stevens' Point. Wis.,
disliking a wordy row with a fleivhbor
whose chickens trespassed in hi yard,
tied written cards to scattered grain and
let the raiding chickens carry home In
their bills the evidence of their guilt
One of the rards read:- am a thief.
My owner does not feed me enough. I
have to visit the nelghbora." The owner
accepted tha evidence In good humor and
penned the raiders.
To keep secret a secret process for
making srtlficlal leather Is puxsllng Phil
adelphia lawyer and at least one Quaker
City court. The plaintiff obtained a tem
porary Injunction forbidding an em-
I loye revealing the process. . The '.atter
offered to " prove by experts that the
process waa not a secret, but the court
would not permit the showing, as that
proceeding would annul the Injunction.
With ' Solomonesque wisdom the court
continued tha Injunction and granted aa
appeal.
LAUGHING GAS.
'For la I will foretell, your fortune."
'Are you a genuine soothsayer?"
I am." i
"Then roil ourht to know, that 1
haven t got $2." Kansas City Journal.
Kumme ts your wife saving?
Backs Very: when she sees any loose
tnbacca under mv writing table I she
weeps it up carefully in a dustpan and
puts it back In the tobacco jar. Brook-
yn nuxen.
"How are the springs on thla car?"
'Hlmply wonderful! You don't notice
a child, and even when you run over a
grown man. It s no discomfort at all!
Life.
KABiBSLE ,
KABARET J
XsUsartsSMtes?
'Why." asked the little girl, "do angels
have wings?"
Maybe," answered the little boy, "It s
to prevent them from getting the golden
streets ail mussed up with their muddy
feet" Washington Star.
'How did you set your clothes torn
and your face bruised?"- asked the boy's
father. . .
"Mv condition, waa the cautious re-
Sly, "Is' the result of a slide to second
ase."
"But I thought you were umpiring the
game?"
I was. l said the boy who slid dldn t
make it" Washington Star.
"I want von." aaid tha fair aoclatv
leader, "to give me a plain opinion about
Madame," said the gallant cavalier.
bowlna. "to speak in plain terms of that
portrait would be Impossible." Baltimore
American
"There's a good deal In thla southern
hospitality."
"Is that sof '
"Te; they gimme right months fef
vagrancy In New Ortesos. I never got
more than sixty dsva In the north'
Louisville CouriersJournat.
TO MT HAT.
Tee than surely art a stunner.
vn. my nail
Biggest I have seen this summer.
Oh. my hat! '
Thou hast flowers, tips and bows
And thou strikest on the nose
Htm who dares to come too close,
Oh. my halt
True, thou alio and slide aad Joggle.
Oh. my hat!
In the wind thou wiggle-woggla.
What of thet?
Tho' my head doth ache and throb
I sure made a bit with Bob,
And he aalth thou didst the Job,
Oh, my hat!
Thou hast caused me quarte'of tears,
Oh. my hatl
Springe and falls for twenty yeara
More than that
Hast made wrinkles in my face
And brought on a nervous case.
But to shun thee, were dlsgTsvoa, -
Oh, my bat! (
Half of last month's wages bought thee.
Oh my hat!
Thirty afternoons I sought thee.
Pleaeed hat!
But man's fancy It hath willed thee, '
I must wear thea though It kill me.
And my dying words shall still be
Oh mv hat!'1
Oh my hat!
Linuoln.
HELEN CARRAHER.
Co Tea Kaon Tha Best Food
Vales of Spsghstti?
Whan you talk about buying tan cents,
or one dollar's worth of any foodstuff
what do you mean by "worth f The only
measure of genuine worth In the pur
chase of eatables must be nutrition. But
do you keep nutrition in mind when you
buy tha family provisions? Let us see.
Meat la orobably your blcreet Item.
Yet no less an authority than Dr. Hutch
ison, the dietitian, says that meat ie a
dear food. Why? Because we pay far too
much for the amount of nutrition that
we secure. Meat contains TS per cent wa
ter think of that when sirloin Is chalk
ed up at Soo a lb. three-quarters water!
Now, take Faust Spaghetti, made
from Durum wheat a rich, glutinous ce
real. Of spaghetti and ita allied prod
ucts, the same authority save that they
contain only IS per cent water, and thesa
foods are absorbed almost In their en
tirety go to make blood, muscle and tis
sue. Faust Spaghetti costs 10c a large
package nearly all worth. .
MAIXL BROS.
St, Louis, IT. B. A.
HORLICLi'S
Tho Original t
HALTED Ml Lit I
(toM yosr mmy "HORUOITS
yoa may get a Smbutltutm
" I I in II i in mil ill iij Ilinn n II I u. mi im.i in
I TWIN
hRST v LAST
VV . DROP r - DROP
: Red
Gasoline j
! '
- i
Every drop like
every other drop.
Uniform, powerful,
quick-starling.
Cut your oil costs Willi
Polarine, the standard
oil for all motors.
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
(P.eMMkaO
Omaha