t
THE nEK: OMAHA, WKT)NT.MAY.
APRIL
23, 1915.
TIIE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATER.
VICTOR ROSKWATER, EDITOR.
Tho Publishing Company, Proprietor.
FB BCILDINQ, FARNAM AND fPEVEXTEENTH.
Fn tared at Omaha poetoffloe as aeeond-eleas matter.
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. orncBS.
Omaha The Pes Hulldinss
' South Omaha Jail N street.
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CORRESPONDENCE).
Address ' rommuniestlons relating to fir and ed1
aortal matter to Omaha B, Editorial Dcpartroem,
MAKCH CIRCL'LATIOX,
52,092
Stat Nebreaka, County of Douglas, aa.
Dwlght Williams, circulation mtur of Tho Baa
Pb,lhln company, being duly aworn, says that the
eeerace circulation for the month of March, ltle,
wee m,"".
PWMHT WILUAMI, Circulation Manager.
Sur-ecs-fOed In my fcanca and aworn to bafora
aa, tkla M day of Prtl, 1V1S.
KOBEHX UUMBfV Notary Publlo,
SlTtbra leaving tDa etty temporarily
Should have Tbe De mailed to them. Ad
dress will w changed aa often tm requested.
. April
Thought for th Day
SmUelud by Wm. Fsreer ,
Hr who a child, htlpt humanity with a
dUtimetnw, tcilfc art mmUaitwi tefttes no
other Mp (rtvcn o human creature it any
oMar ttagt qf their human lift earjf$Vty givt
again. PhilHpt Brw.lt.
Tba first same doe not win or lot tbt pan
cant. Still, every game counts.
Chicago now hat a republican mayor. Omaha
will have obo agala soms of these fin day a.
,:' It oe without aaylnj that tha tax ibirkar
would har to travel faat to cat away irotn an
automobile Ui coUtctor, ,. )T
, If a more prollflo latter-writer than tha col
ca el ever trod this earth, be mut have burned
hl lettera after wrlttng tham. "
r
Th Greater Omaha aplrlt la matching on.
Opposition to achool and Auditorium hondi la
pracUcin. oh the lurfender algn.. t
Althoush the political campaign la. hot yet
endod, here la he city hUh eomrolsalonar call
ing for a fiy-awatttng campaign, f Juit one cam
palgn after another. '," ' . U v i '
L
' Tboie offldal ,wr InteHlgeace. TJHreaue do
not aeora to hare beea earninc their, money
lately. They tnuat be either loafing ea the Job
or running abort-handed. '
Neutral doctora express aatonlsbment at the
number of aoldiera who go mad la the trenches.
Why not? War started by, madness necessarily
carries the contagion to the firing line.
.' Despite tbelr complaints about Uncle Bam'a
neutrality, our German friends admit by their
acts tbat no couutry on earth looks better to
them ae a friendly port for internment
Current obituaries of defunct legislatures
invartsbly eulogize bodies which hae produced
the !aat results. Quality, not Quantity, of out
put is the bssls of commendation. This Implies
a publie readiness to pay full salaries for loaf
lag on the Job.
' Down at Lincoln the danger 1 scented that
two mayoralty aspirants may be winners In their
City commlsaionershlp campaign, with one of
them Is fiat event sure to be a square peg In a
round hole. If worse comee to worst, Omaha
may have to take Lincoln's extra mayor off Its
hands.
; A new Garden of Eden has been located, this
t3me In the wilds of South America. The die
covery is Important and timely. Hostile armies
are shooting np the original Garden and filling
life with grare uncertainties. Thus .the new
world rises to meet Its opportunities and give the
harassed people of the old world fresh proof of
Its boundless resources.
Administration officials show pardonable' Joy
over the Prospect of I89.000.00A from Inrnmi
taxes. Last year's returna for three-quarters ot
the fiscal year was, In round numbers, 128,000.
000. Inasmuch as the treasury cash balance has
shrunk In four months from 188.000.000 to 121
000,000 the huge income Increase generates as
mucb pleasure as rinding money. .
The Three Referendum Propositions.
At our city election next week the voter will
be celled on to raKlstcr his wishes on three
referendum measures, end to do so Intelligently
he should know whst they sre about.
The first is a school bond proposition
authorizing the issoe of one million dollar of
4 '4 per cent bonds, the proceeds to be used to
construct new school buildings in pursuance to
the plan adopted and promulgated by the
board. The demand for enlarged school ac
commodations in various psrts of the city Is
urgent, and will be more urgent with the advent
of Greater Omaha.
The second contemplates purchase of tbt
Auditorium, for which authority to issue f 160.
000 of bonds Is required. The Auditorium rep
resentf an Investment of nearly $100,000, which
the city may now acquire for 1150,000, being
the amount of the secured and floating indebt
edness. No one who concedes that the city
needs an Auditorium can hesitate to approve
this purchase.
The third is tbe question of Sunday base
ball, this referendum coming ubder the state
law providing for local option in Sunday ball
playing. There Is ao more wholesome diversion
for amusement-seekers in a large city week daya
or Sundays than base ball and the people must
have harmless amusement for their leisure
hours. Liberal minded people, even though not
themselves interested In base hall, will vote
Yes." ' ,
The main thing for all Is not to overlook the
three referendum propositions, so that the re
sult recorded may reflect tbe real desires of tlie
community.
rmvm 4M ritikj
Mayor Boyd ant In ta tha council hia nomination
raappolnUnc FVa . Chlaf Butler and Aaalatant Chief
CaUtsan. and naming es-PoHrw Juda auetav Barwka
t suoraod City Uarahal Cumins, and Thomaa wlft
ta atrcoed Street Commissioner Maanay. They ware
all rtrerrea without action. . .
Judge J". O. Ha was haa gone aaat to visit frWnda
la Kentucky an4 Washington for a month.
Mr. and Mra. O. at. Hitchcock left for Salt Lake
my ana tt territories for a trip of rwat and health
Tha finder of a.note of ll alnd k-y Frod Xochar
la invited to return tha same ta John l McCagua and
to auttably rwardd. -
Policeman DatiUl. Kennedy wa united 'la marriage
in rmirca ceuieoral by Kav. Fatkar Jeannett
to Mm Mary Kagan. nloce of Hon. John Rualt
Tba baaa ball game between tha Omaha and Cleve
land Iruut . went, svtr on acroutit of ram and wet
giuni(. , '
oionel 'inxT.tr. temmender of Furt Niobrara, la
n.re wttn nis family, who w 11 atav In Omaha Dendtn
M WKUBfrr Hh bit reslinvnt to tha Department t,
ite ai wevuri.
Equality tho Only Safe Rule.
Regardless of the-arnount of the proposed
light rate cut, the checking of Individual bills to
ascertain tho effect furnishes tha strongest sup-,
port for the demand, which The Bee haa voiced
from time to time, for a straight meter-measure
ment schedule In. place of the Chinese puztle
estimates on which charges here have been
based. Comparison of bills discloses that one
consumer using precisely the same amount ot
current aa his neighbor Is being arbitrarily
charged more on the fictitious "readlness-to-
serve" theory because be happens to have more
lamp outlets than tbe other. It would be Just
as sensible to make one householder pay more
han his neighbor for the ssme number of gal
lons of water' because he has more faucets
through which the wafer flows.
The only safe rule for public utility service
of this kind Is the same prjee to all on the same
meter measurement,' and no discrimination' or
personal favoritism. ,
Fighteri and Films and the Law.
An effort Is to be made to nullify the fed-
era) statute that prohibits the Importation,
thlpplDg or exhibition of prixe fight films, This
aw waa passed In some haste, following certain
unseemly proceedings at Reno, s few years ago.
when a black bruiser proved himself the pbysu
cal superior of a white pugilist. It was com
mented upon at that time quite approvingly as
preventing the exhibition of a degrading specta-
cle. If good then, why not now?
The conditions that existed at the time of the
prize fight at Reno are the same today, with the
one factor changed. Now tbe white fist-fighter
has' triumphed over the Mack! '''Otherwise,' the'
pectacle photographed In the ring Is, Just as
demoralising and Just as lacking in the essentlr.l
elements of amusement or Instruction. '
.And, wbiU the subject Is up, why should the
film be suppressed, while the man who made It
possible Is permitted to go about tbe country
and show himself daily? If a prize fight Is de
grading and unlawful i0 Itself, and a moving pic
ture reproduction .thereof is to be prohibited,
why should not tbe prixe fighter be suppressed.
too?
The Political Caldron
,' Peace Conference Starts with. War.
Before it has even begun its official exist
ence, the women's pesce conference, called to
meet at The Hague today, finds its delegates un
able tb agree over the methods of- procedure.
This Is hardly' a good omen for ultimate success,
nor does It quite realize the expectations aroused
by the . project. It seems too bad that such a
meeting .should -encounter anything even re-
rootelyeaembltng a political snag. - -
However, little reason exists for thinking
that either of the monarch engaged in the. war
will give ear to peace proposals from the outside
at this time. . Surface indications Justify the be
lief tbat hostilities will be carried on for some
time yet. But' It Is to !be hoped that for the
moral effect, at least, the women will be able
to compose their dlfferdnces. They have here
an opportunity to show mere men an excellent
example of harmony and union in effort to do
good. . f
' ''Uncle' Jo" Does a WalU. . ,
Cheering news comes from California that
is, It will be cheering to a lot of people, and dis
couraging to some others. It is to the effect thst
Joseph Ourney Cannon, former speaker -of the
bouse of representatives, haa continued his
"come-back" movement, begun last November,
by tripping airily around a ball room at the ex
position grounds. He thereby redeemed a
promise piedeflve years ago. In the Interim,
his political obsequies have been held, he haa
been laid away to rest In retirement, followed
by sighs of relief from a lot of politicians, and
has, as on many another occasion, refused to
stay "put." His resumption of physlcsl as well
as political activity Is a splendid inspiration for
the young men of the day, as well as a rebuke
to Oaierlsm. "Uncle Joe's" mind, too, is aa
active aa his body, and that contains a promise
of lively times ahead for the democrats.
On the complaint of a citizen whose testes
are offended by promiscuous displays the
state steps in and decrees how and where ad
vertUeraents msy be placed lu a telephone
directory. Thus the state lends Its might and
power to' the literary uplift ,and preserves the
social 'registers bf communities from under
scored commercialism.
SOMKRODr. aomawhere. aometlma, aald eomethlnt
to the effect that the ertl men do Uvea after tham
and that their good Caede are often. Interred with thai!
bono. It has also been remarked by soma aaga Individual-that
chickens will ratum home to rooet. that
tha law of compensation haa no regard far the eight
hour day and that a sod political memory Is a valua
ble aaaet.
Tha preaent city campaign, very much Ilka other City
campatgna, la proving to bo a time for caatlng up old
grievances, harking tack to trtledoeda and good deeda.
Even aa bread cast upon tha waters of Carter Lake,
Pa It creek or tha Mlaaouri river, will return In many
daya. ao are political bricks hurled In tha dim past re
turning Just now like boomeranga to smite the thrower
on tha face.
"We lold you so." Tha ImpreeaUone. Inrectlvee,
anathemas, moribund eggs of political hatching and
other tokena of wrath and dislike, mentioned e week
ago, are now being thrown from tha ramparts of the
contending forces In tha local oampalgn.
Tha archives of political memory are being invaded
and tha aanctlty of the past Is being treepaawed upon
for material. '
Administration speaker are reminding Chairman
"utton of tha antla that ones upon a time ha coveted
tha office of tha 'city eCtorney. and It la aald that In tha
event ef tha ar.tis winning the Judge will connect Dp
with the payroll and that Judge Sutton stltl has a
rankling In hia bosom beceuae be waa not appointed
city attorney. It seems that some ef the city hall
people mads a memorandum of this Incident and saved
It for campaign purposes.
Chairman Ftynn ot the Ins has received aa anony
mous letter, evidently written by a woman, stating
that a certain man who Is on the antl committee
should "let wall enough alone," or sha will tall an
episode which happened In this man's office and which
Included destruction of office accessories by his Irate
wife. The man's name Is mentioned In th letter. "
-It may be expected that one of tha candidates will
be charged this weak with having tied another candi
date's shirt Into bard knots at tha old swimming hole
many, years ago In this city. Efforts are being made
to save this exposure for the sake of hia family. This
man admit that ha did tie tha ahlrt of one ot hia
rival candldatea many years ago while out swimming
together and ho comes bach with the countsr charge
that hia accuser atole a watermelon from the hack of
a wagon at Eighteenth and Ceaa streets, en the after
noon of Saturday, July II, The queatlon la, will
tha people of Omaha elect to the high offices of city
commissioners men who In thalr boyhood days com.
mi t ted such heinous offenses? Tha vote on the day
of days alone will tall.
After having partaken of his noonday nourishment
and enjoying himself with a corporation-made cigar
with a regular band around tha middle. Chairman Cun
ningham of tha antl organisation committee sat In
Secretary Meyers' offloo at headquarters and descanted
'upon tha certainties and uncertainties Of Ufa In gen
eral and politics In particular. , fc .
"I want to tell you, ' bore, that aha la looking
mighty good. I waa talking te a man from Rockford
today and ha aald that we have tha best chance we
ever had. Do you know, the administration fellow
are getting angry, that's what they are," said Celonet
Cunningham, , .
Then a newspaper man asked for tho tntlnararlea
for the atreet meetings. Mr. Cunningham thought It
would be well to announce theae street corner loca
tion!, but Harry 3. Haokett aald it would be unwise,
-"Are you. afraid ef Interference It you announce
theae locations la advance, Mr. Hackett?" waa asked
the candidate. ' ' r ' ' '
"Oh. no.' but It Is not best to arm the opposition
-with information of -what We are going ta do," he
replied. ' , . ,
, Then the secretary reeelved a Hat of all ef the
regtetered voters us to data, from tha election com
missioners' office, and remarked thst Je would have to
pay "thirty-five buck a for tha type-written Hat.
Hackett started t whistle the new tune, "I Didn't
Rale My Boy to Bo a Nincompoop."
"I believe I see a sew elvle eeneetousaeea awaken
ing in this city and I also faat that the- 'quiet vote'
will control -the altuatlon on election day. J don't
think any great number ef voters are going to blindly
vote for. alt of ths square seven or for all ef the
straight six. but I contend that as intelligent selection
will be made from tha fourteen candldatea," assever
ated tha Careful Observer as he rode down tows with
the Old Inhabitant yeaterove In a Jttsey. ' 1
"Then you don't believe In condemning the Ins en
marne Just because they are In, oeeoribmg all virtue
to tha outs. Just because they are eutaVde looking ta.
Is that what you want te serf" replied the venerable
cltlaen.
"Partially so, partially ao. But I have a larger
thought and It la that wa as Omahans are learning to
think on broad-gauge lines. W have acquired n
greater vision. We are learning that the election of
seven directors for our corporate Institution I a serl
oua business and la everybody'a bualneae and that the
man who complains after election haa no kick coming
If he doesn't vote and take an letoltlgant Interest In
the candidates he I voting . for,", continued the
observant person.
"But I thought that s vary body's bualneae Is no
body' business. How about tbatT" , "
"Wall, it is s poor rule that won't work both ways.
In tha ease tf local government the saJeetloa ef etty
commissioners should Interest every present and
prospective voter, Tou may have noticed that the
people are taking s keeter tnUeeat ts their local af
faire. ' Today we have Improvement eluba and ether
organlsatlona where these matters sre discussed. The
old Idea of carrying a crowd by storm has passed."
"You are quite en optimist, methlnka"
"Tea, I think we ere getting better all ef the time.
I have lived hare nigh onto fifty years new and my
observations have been that Omaha has baaa Improv,
Ing each year. Ain't perfect yet. but. who la looking
for perfection expect a few wall, 1 won't mention thalr
names. Tou ran trust the people to do the right
thing In the end."
"I rather like your line of argument."
., "So do I. But what makes me sore ts to beer a
lot of eelf-appotnted, heller-than-thee. claim te be
annotnted ones and then go out and tall us that we
are all to the bad and that tt we don't mend our
waya w will fall like Sodom and Terra Haute."
, "Tou ought te ge ea the Chautauqua platform thl
season." i
"Quit your kidding. I waa Juat remarking that
tha people are thinking and when tha people think, it
la time to take note ef the public stilae. I was about
to add that wa are going to begin a QreeUr Omaha
era of commercial prosperity and political pre science.
Just watch grow. Wa are going te be soms city,
seme city."
"Them say sentiments, toe."
IndWIdwal Kfflele-eer.
SIOUX CITT. Is.. April fJ.-To the
Fdrier ef The Bee: Move efficient people
sre In evidence today than In any other
Metoricel period. Competition waa never
stronger. Many capable men and women
ere still at the bottom ef the ladder.
Sometimes they mount s few steps, hut
In the fierce bettl for place they are
pushed down again. At the bottom the
com pat R Ion Is greatest; the higher we ge
tke more elbow room we get.
Jn Justice to themoetvee thoee at the
bottom of tha ladder should endeavor te
make less streneous the oompetttlon. A
fairly good start" ha life comes to Be
man until he Is victor ot those economic,
foroas that battle against his anhlnderad
development. It la true that everything
tending for individual efficiency makes
more atrensoua Ufa's battle, but we have
concentrated our powers toe n.ueh upon
ths ambition of wealth, fame or Influence,
and not enough upon Individual content
ment. Prteet and sinner alike have verily
canonised materialistic goals, while the
better mstlnota of man have bean cyn
ically derided as "Impracticable."
Individual efficiency, accompanied by
Individual contentment, should be ths rest
goal of our buslneaa men, and the I.ord
knowa that business men todsy are eur
rulers. This ts said Is no disparagement
ef business men, fey wise men ef busi
ness are Indeed wise rulers. But It Is the
unwise man ef business, the chap with
petty vision, who Is such an annoying
cos In tha modern social machinery. "A
project for city planning could never win
hia support He le materialistic enough
to oppose muntclpallsetion of parks,
streets, theatere, dance halls and social
centers. It Is also this chap who la horri
fied by thd street comer apparition which
Is ghost II y shouting against evils of the
!ay. CBCIti MONTAGUE!.
A shortage of Ua in this country Is threat
ened. Tbe available slock ts said to be the low
est is years. At the same time a Philadelphia
health sbarp puts coffee in the same category of
Ihe demon rum. With theaejno opulent com
petitors on tho toboggan, the bock beer season
bus a tree fit 1,1.
Never Paaa Ym the Coin.
In a recant criticism ef American neutrality. So
licitor Oeneral Melghan of Canada taunted us with
being more anxloua for dollars and rents than for
tha princlplea involved in tha war. Tha dollar and
cants taunt ia old enough to ahavs Ira beard. It la
a stock charge among envious foreign critics and
is calculated te give the untaitlated tha hnproaaloa
that Europeans regard for dollara translated Into
pounds, franca, marks and Urea, aa tainted thtnfa.
An America a tourist who feared the foreign reach for
the dollar would not equal tha service rendered
contrived vartoua ways of slipping It ever without
tha risk of giving offense. The illualan soon Tenlehed
and this ia tha way It happened:
"Whan my wife and I wore on evr honeymoon we
were advised to visit a "certain ruined castle, tha
euetodlan of which waa a relative ef the noble
owner. Having viewed the glorious old pile. I waa
at a loss bow and In what way to offer a gratuity,
bearing In mind tha "blue -Mood' of snar gwtde. The
following conversation took place:..
'We thank you for your courtesy and would be'
glad to gite a small sum to any causa If you have a
boa for that purpoa.' -. .;
, ir.' waa tha reply, "wa have aucn'e box,',
" 'Then niay I aee It?" I asked. .
"'Sir.' with a piea'ant smile and a bow, 'I am
Hut box ' "
America First ;
Washington Star; Mr. Wilson's speech
was a esrefut restatement ef his general
position lth . regard to the war, . which
the people have already approved and
which they, will be the snore Inclined
thsa ever te approve after a readlsg -of
hia words. - . , -
Springfield Republics: Judgments ef
right end wrong there must be and ought
to be, in public as In private affairs, but
In such a world crisis si this only the
nsrrowtst conceit can fancy a final Judg
ment to be now possible. The president
gives a needed cell for modesty and tem
perance 1q Judgment and in speech.
Chicago Tribune: We are being ex
horted by . emissaries and sympathizers
t tske sides. , There la one side for us to
tske, and only one, the side of Anurica.
Europe is shaken te the foundations by
ths storm of almost universal war. If
there Is one duty clear before us tt is to
keep our feet In the shock, te keep our
heeds clear and to eonaerve eur re
sourosa, sot only our material, but eur
moral resource. r
' New Tork World:- The loftiest Ideal of
American clttseashlp at this time cannot
be described better than In the president's
words-' 'not the tslksUve men, not tha
partisan mas, sot the man who remem
bers first that he is a republican or
dsmacrat, or that his parent were Qer
man or English, but who remembers first
thst the wheiedastlny of modern sffalrs
centers upon hia being ah American first
ef alt." The American who remembers
thst has remembered everything.
Philadelphia Ledger: In a nation made
up ef so many races It I Inevitable that
o fierce a struggle across the sea should
be reflected In Sitter differences- of opln
Ion here. It Is that peril which the pree-
tceot would, avoid by counseling us te
think ef America flrst-to let s aneestral
strain, he former allegiance, obliterate
eur duty to our own land. Here he takes
a statesmanlike view worthy of hia posi
tion. Hare tie lays down the valid doe
trine of neutrality. Whatever criticism
his policy has aroused In some of its
aspect, he has unquestionably followed
It with a sincerity worthy of ths high
(deal he blda his countrymen contem
plate.
Signs of Progress
- Coffins are being made - of paper Is
Trance., cheapness and lightness being
toeir as vantage.
Shore line property haa Increased Is
value li.apS.OM since the war on mosqul-
toes, according to Dr. Thomaa J. Headlee,
or tne Pfew Jersey experiment atatlon.
Memberships in the New Tork Stock
exeheng are now selling at higher
prteee than aince 1911 and the laat three
weeks have raised the prices of theae
eoats from I4S.O00 to swore. In October
last the price was b-it tM.00O,
More than v,a.0OJ) haa been spent by
the various atatea on XI. 'OO miles of state
highways About 11.090 mllee have been
nullt within tha last two years. Only
seven states have nc form of state high
wsv department.
In the state of Michigan the wages of
more then Jiceo miners have heen or
dered Inereaaed 10 per cent, the increase
to take effect May I. and thi can be ae
eepted as evidence ef higher wage
scales In sll of the mining atatea
Report from the Industrial districts of
the great antral Section east of the Ml,
alseippt river. Including Pennsylvania and
Weat Virginia, are that the great major
ity of the manufaoturir-g plant a are ap
proaching V per cent rape-Mty and tliat
some, busy upon war order sre running
ntght and day.
In a recent raoa between a locomotive
and an automobile the latter made the
remarkaUe record ef one mile in .! seo
end, or 1CW mllea an sour, which la a
little better than the beat preceding rec
ord and a undoubtedly the highest speed
ever attained by a man on tbe face of
the earth. The race was at Saldure,
t'Uh. 1U miles west ot Salt Lake City,
tbe autosnoelle traversing a erystaltsed
salt bed amy-flve mllea long and eight
snUee wlrte.
Minneapolis mourns the untimely,
thourh heroic, death of "Sport." de
scribed as "a plain bulldog." "Sport's"
sleeping suarters were la the rear ef the
Davis home. Mrs. Jevta and her three
children sleeping In the front of the
building. In some manner the home took
fire at I a. ta. "Spert' barked with all
his might. eu did net- wake tbe family.
The dog aroused the neighbors, however,
end brought help in' time te save tha
mother end children,; but "Sport" per
Ishad In the 'amoke-and flemee. Tha
canine paradise la tkua enriched by a
deggone good one.
PASSHfO PLEASANTBIES.
If 1 til l Indian flahter t wouldn t
Ilka te flsht the Cmw Imitsna."
w hy not the Crow Indiana eoreclally"
"Because how ran a Crow ever ehow
the white feather?" Baltimore Ameri
can.
"Bhe'e an old maid. That proves that
She couldn't get s husband. ,r
fo et all. It may Indicate that she
waa more particular than some. 1 nrer
see you exhibiting your huaband
around." Kansas City Journal.
"Bello'a husband la euch a cold, re-
eerved man I wonder how shs can tell
If ah really love her."
"Belle haa no doubt on that score. He
esked her the other day If she wouldn't
like to have some more pie money."
Baltimore American.
"It ssys here that the longest sentence
In the Rng.ieti lang-uace contains 110
words." alil the old fory.
"That's wrong." replied the grouch.
The longest sentence contains only one
word.
"What 1a thatr asked the eld fogy.
"Life," replied th grouch.-Kanaaa City
Star. .
A KABIBSIE .
aa KABARET
STCNMPCIR f7TrUMfii -rXitHTrh
DPUBtff JOKE?
AW W"lH8lM?f rut ME jMOMOl
WnrJ MKSr W'(Wl BROKE!)
Yankee If snmsona were so ill-advised
as te call you a liar, colonel, in what
ngni would you regard the act? .
Kentucky Colonel I would regard It
smply as a form of suicide, sah. Dalle a
News. , . .
Thay had disagreed, ' .
They had disagreed hcut her cooklna-.
Me had aprnng the bromide about her
not being able to cook. . even aa his
mother did. ' '
Whereupon she aked him "If that be
ao. how Is It that you .haven't, chronic
dvsppesla. as tour father had?
Whereupon they disagreed moi thor-
ougniy .than ever. FhllaUelphla ledger.
Judge Tou say you caught sight of ths
assailant. Describe him.
Witnese-SBure, your honor, he wss a
smalt, Inslrnlflcsnt m.-in-nbout your else,
your honor. Hoeton Transcript.
"Blinks says that when ha w young
he was the architect of t.ls irn f.irtnia-.
"Didn't thev have mpv builcllna In
spectors In those days. Philadelphia
Ledger.
"Ho you think it pay to keep
chicken ?" '. "
"Yes," replied Farmer Corntossicl: a
few chicken are a aood advertisement.
They keep the summer boarders cheered ,
up. thlnkln' mebbe the fust thin they
know thev'U a couple o' m on the
dinner table." Washington Star.
Blx By the way, who is. of rather was,,
the god of war?
Wa I've forgotten the durfer'a name,
but 1 think tt waa Ananias. InJianaroI'S
Journal.
"I saw in th paper today where a
man had Just died who in his lifetime
had married SlO womn."
"Oh, the Mormon!"
"Not at all: Just a very popular
minister.'. Baltimore American.
BE CAEZFUL.
Milwaukee IVntlnel.
When chitting with a native of Sny war
ring state
Be csreful to eay nothing that possibly
would grate
Upon hia . tender feelings, or give his
nerve a wrench; -'
ror Instance, do not say "Bon Jour,''. Of
try to air your French
When greeting any person who is ob
vlously Oermsn:
Try not t- sing "God Rave the King" to
HeHrlch, Han or Herman.
Oh! read not the Ptants Zeitung to any
British chap.
Nor dine a Merr Professor if your butler
he a Jap.
Detain Teutonic callers a moment at the
door
While yon make sure thera are no scrspe
of paper on th floor.
Beg not the Burslan 'cellist to play "Die
Wacht am Rheln."
And stop to think before you drink to
. Joffre In a atein! ' -
Don't offer Kngllsh parrow the lengthy
wlci.erwnrst.
Or try with Rngllsh breakfast tea to
slake tlie 'dachshund's thirst.
A little tact when .visiting may eft pre
vent a fuss
Don't ssy, "I'm fond of pretxels," If your
host should be a Ruse,
Nor pelt tha "httle' German 'band" with.
Belgian paving blocks.
And tiy no chance hall eons ot Franco .
with three resounding "Hochs!"
""' "' " '''w'!T'.tsgjiiiiria i
The Nation's Health Dish
VERT few foods can compare with Faust Spsghetti from the
standpoint of nutrition and "lightness." Weight for weight,
Faust Spaghetti is more nutritious than meat If we cut down a
deal on the latter and eat Tauat Spaghetti oftencr, we wQl Uve potter
and cheaper.. Large package,
10c Writs for free recipe book.
MAULL BROS.
St. Louis, U.S.A.
Yesara to make ready
t.'tS
I.'' .
V
I i. f r r'.-v.-.-.-.-:::-;-.v:-c -e
J While you are watching j
.; J the gof t "blue, smoke of your '
' Tom Moore curl lazily up
'.- ward-thinkl ' t":::;'
t J Thoe fragrant leaves
' have Jjeen ripening and
aging ' in the quiet store- '
house for many seasons.
1 Do you , wonder they
alwayi iamc hack for Moore? '
Tom Mo ore
CIGAR lO
Littlx Tom 5
A htHimok. Htn'tliUlt Tom '
set BnsseU Olrax Co. sis
Be, ta Sv, aha. Distributes,
Mi'
vim :
ST- (fl tao-yT'Vav ' "A
I ' -v- "
TlPERV Convenient
"Cracks and Duffers, every
time you go golfing tuck a plug
of rich, juicy, tasty 'PIPER ,
into tne old jib-pocket. Just
reach back and take a hefty
chew before you start drive or
putt You'll get a full, hearty
tobacco satisfaction and a
mighty keen tobacco joy from
'PIPER.'"
" ' PsaslsBSsh. easesetga sssrSsVISsSh
PEM1
LTT I . 1
, iiitriri Send I0e and
snd we will eend s full-else
cut of "PlPta" and e hand
some leather trocs FHEK,
ssywkers ta U. 8. Also s
folder about "PIPM." The
tobacco, pouch and (Bailing
will cost as lee, which we
will gladly spend sees see
s trial will snske yon s
steady user of "PIPXB."
S1QGL1
Chewing Toharrn Chsmpagno Flavee-
The great distinction
about -PIPER" to a man
who likes a smacking
good relish to his chew
is the famous "Cham
pagne Flavor." The
winey taste mingles
on his tongue with the natu
ral, mellow sweetness of the richest,
ripest, carefully selected tobacco leaf.
"PIPER" la the highest type of
chewing tobacco la the
World and lasts longer
because tne plug Is
extra hard pressed.
Sell h 4aaUe
where, ie S md IS eaia
sweeeeee the "t
Mart.
THE AMERICAN
TOBACCO COMPANY
ItewYe
esssssr-
1
i
i a.
