THE ItKK: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMnER 23, 19X4.
THE .OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BY KDWARJ) RQjKWATBR.
VICTOR ROSEWATEK, EDITOR.
The Pee ruhllsnlng rompmiT, Proprietor.
J'KK HCILDINU, FA UN AM AND P K V f '. N T K K. NTH.
Knterrn" at Omana .nstorftce aa second-class matter.
TKKMS OF PlKrVIMPTlON.
py rsrrier rr mm
per month, prr yr-
..ellv snil Fund We $ '
Tally without Sunday ' 4 (W I
KVenlrg an.l Snnav '' j
Kventng without Sunday 4. 00
Sim.lev Be only .- 2 0" 1
Send notl-e of rliar.se of address or onip'lnt of i
lrrgii1srlty In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation ,
lier-arimer.t. i
ItK.MITTANCK.
Itemlt br draft. erree or postal order Onlv (wo
ent utampa received, In payment of smell ae- ;
count I'ersonal chK-ks. exrept on Omaha nd eastern
exchange, not accepted.
i
OKFICKS.
Omaha-The Bee Hnllding.
South Omaha 3U N street.
Council Bluffs 14 North Main street
Lincoln- t. title Building,
rhlrsgo 11 llrarat Hutdln;
Nw York Boom M Fifth avenue.
Ft Ixiiiin- KU Nfw Hank of Cnmmfrff.
Washington 726 Fourteenth Ft.. N. W. ;
if RRESItlNnKNTB.
Address rnmmunlrstlofis relating to newa and edi
torial matter to Omaha He. JVdltorlal Department.
XOVF.MIIEU CinCFLATIOX.
52,531
State of Nebraska. County of Douglas, a.
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of The Bee
I'm I1 tnli I n a- company, being duly sworn, says tliat
the avers dally circulation for the month of No
vember. 114, u S7,i31.
IJWJOHT WILIAMS. Clr ulatlon Manager.
Ptthnrrlhed In my present's and sworn to before
me. thin 7th day of TWmhw, JM4. ..
ROHEKT HUNTER, : tary rubllo.
SubscrilM-ra leaving the city temporarily
should have The le mailed to them. Ad
dress will be changed a often an requested.
Though busted and cussed, trust the trusts
to come back.
On with the spirit of Christmas! Let peace
be unconflned! '
If you neglected to shop early, why shop late
and have It over with.
Remember the cotton crisis and do not set
a match to Santa Claus" whiskers.
While waiting we might say that the major
league ball season will open April 14.
Cincinnati killed that bank robber Just aa If
he had been a member of the local ball team.
Well, If the war must cause a ahortage In
anything, what better than a shortage of rags?
The Iron cross for distinguished military
service, but the Red Cross for humanity's service.
Looks as If Governor Morehead were to per
form the next amputation at the Orthopedic hos
pital. : i i
, , Those old-fashioned sleighs have a flavor
which these new-fangled autos just can't ac
quire.
The democratic war tax stamp Is not as pop
ular aa the Red Cross Christmas stamp, but It
promises to stay with us longer.
,"MWSSSSaMSMSBBSSBSa
The Idea of "compromise" of the Nebraska
federal patronage squabble seems to have taken
wings, or perhaps "there never was no such
thing."
. The peacemakers will have to get busy and
work overtime if those predictions about' the
war being ended before the New Year are to
come true. .
Those gentlemen wbo helped to boost Mr.
Bryan over the transom that famous day at
Grand Island probably realise now that "he
laughs best who laughs last."
. Great Britain reports fewer Idle men in the
I'nited Kingdom now than before the war. Tea.
but the war has taken away a million men and
more, leafing their work to be done by others.
Were It not tor the bobbing up of these
hoary lawsuits like those Capital National bank
rases from time to time folks might forget some
of the most Interesting Incidents of our Nebraska
history.
The new $3,000 city ball smoke consumer Is
to be installed on a thirty-day guaranty that It
will save fuel. Increase the power and eliminate
smoke. What Is It going to do after the thirty
days have expired?
That socialist member ot the German Diet
who enlisted In the French army may have set
's isfied his conscience, but he will do well not to
let the Germans get hold of him while the hos
tilities are still on.
It forma another chapter In Benator llltcheo k'i
open, frank effort to deal with tlx patronage in i
public manner.
It must be so because the senator's own per
onal newspaper organ says so. Unfortunately
the senator falls to say how much hta "onen
frank" bolt of the democratic caucus has helped
blni solve thla patronage problem.
Wanted A Eeal Comptroller. ,
While the demand Is general for a reduction ,
in the number of public offices, there Is one I
place where a new office should be created so
aa to give us a real comptroller to keep Inde
pendent check on the accounts and finances of
the different bodies In this city and county that
are spending the taxpayers money.
Perhaps we should not call this a new office,
for it would be but a transfer and consolidation
of work now inadequately done, or left undone,
by two or three so-called audits made by direc
tion of triors who spend the money. The pres- j
ent situation here Is this that a city comptrol
ler appointed by the city commissioners checks
the city bills; a county auditor appointed by the
county board checks the county bills; an ac
countant called in by the Water board once or
twice a year verifies the Water board's semi-annual
statement, while the school bills are not
checked at all except by the board's secretary.
What Douglas county should have from the
legislature is the restoration of the office ot
county comptroller, with full powers over ac
counts and finances of county, city, water dis
trict and school district. Such an office, doing
away with the present makeshift machinery,
would not only entail no additional expense, but
would without question save thousands upon
thousands of dollars to the treasuries of these
different Jurisdictions. It would, moreover, es
tablsh a control over lawless expenditures, Inde
pendent of the bodies making the appropriations,
who are naturally prone to evade legal restrictions.
A real comptroller with backbone and au
thority to call the turn is what the people of
Omaha and Douglas county lack, and what they
sadly need.
Climate a Factor in War.
The natural conflguatlon of the country has
always constituted an Important factor in every
military campaign and history is full of exam
ples where victory has been won, or defeat suf
fered, br the intervention of the elements
wholly beyond control of the combatants. That
climate la to play a more than usual Important
part in the present European war is Indicated by
the report that the troops from India and
Morocco brought north by the allies are surrering
from the winter's cold to such an extent as to
make them practically useless as army units.
The severer climate In the northeast war arena,
where the Russians, Austrian and Germans are
battling. Is likewise to be reckoned with ss aa
even greater obstacle to activity In arms than
the milder conditions on the Trench and Belgian
border. In other words, the effectiveness of the
war machine is to be determined, not wholly by
The number of men and their guns and ammuni
tion, but In cart bv their ability to withstand the
climatic changes as compared with the enemy
ranged against them.
Neutrality and Exports
The weather continued bitterly cold. The maxi
mum attained durlntf the day waa one degree below
rrr. about I o'clock and the lowest waa sixteen be
low early In the morning.
The Chiiatmas tree on exhibition in the window
of Kopp, Drelbua & Co.. confectioners, Eleventh and
Kamam. was raffled cff.
Ussle Evans ma le a bit at Boyd a aa "Chip" In
"Fogg's Kerry."
MUs Jessie Laatoa has returned from a pleasant
lit to Dakota.
J.'E. Ifuuse. with I (a 'wife and two daughters, left
for New OrleB tit ai end a few weeks at the expoal-
lion.
Patrick, DcsnkOcd f our puJIc foroe la taking
some time cff to vlalt in Lies Moines.
The' report of the Woman's ChrUtlaa aaaoclatlon
thanks donors, among- others the Cnion pacific Coal
cumiiany, for furnishing coal at half price. 138 l:atf
ton bevlrig been already distributed to the poor hp
the aeaoeiatton.
The finder of an odd hoe loat on Farnain street
bvtmeen Seventh and Nineteenth Is notified tbst b
r -i h: e the utner atu.e by calling at Polak's C'lotbln?
Cut Out the Literacy Test.
The literacy test has many honest, well
meaning advocates, but take from Its support
all the selfishness, prejudice, Ignorance and
sophistry, and nothing remains to the propa
ganda. President Taft knocked It out once and Pres
ident Wilson deserves commendation for taking
a stand against it.
The sole element of consideration must be
whether a person's ability to read and write is an
adequate test of his fitness to enter this coun
try. The Mafia gangster, the black-bander,
usually is able to read and write, sometimes all
too well. Somehow he manages to slip through
our portals.
Then here comes that big, brawny son ot the
soil, or the street, Illiterate, but with honesty and
ambition written In every line of his frank, open
faee. He seeks simply the chance which his fore
fathers, our ancestors, sought, of improving his
condition In life. He makes every sacrifice to
come leaves home and relatives and friends
solely that In a land of superior opportunities he
may better his lot, may become an American
cltlien. Him the literacy test would bar.
Let us have immigration laws that protect us
against the defective, the diseased, the criminal
and the dependent, but cut out the literary test.
Safety First and Last
According to the executive officers of the
Brotherhoods of Locomotive Engineers and
Firemen, the "surprise" efficiency tests, In be
half of "safety first," exscted by the railroads,
are neither efficient nor safe, but decidedly dan
gerous to life and limb, and unless abolished
will cause trouble between the roads and their
employes.
"Safety first." says one of the brotherhood
officials, "Is a good advertisement, but we want
a system that will not cause an englneman, sud
denly confronted with a red light, to Jump when
there is no real danger."
Surely the "safety first" system that puts
the lite of the monitor himself iu Jeopardy Is not
much to brag about. The railroads have doue a
good deal toward Insuring the safe transporta
tion ot passengers, as well as freight, and they
are entitled to the benefit of the doubt up to
the point of requiring proof of the charge from
the englnemen. The railroads must have the
welfare and safety of their trainmen as much st
heart as of their passengers, and If any defect
or Imperfection hag crept into the system of
procuring safely first and lat. they ought to be
ready to correct it.
rrom the Oatloek.
'Some Amerkan merrnafits have been enas:d In
a -pplvlng the belligerent nations In F.urope with muni
tions of war. la It rlsht fnr them to do aoT A tnnJ
many Americans heilrve that It Is not. Mum
hav been Introduced Into rongreaa which. If enartei;.
wo'ild forbid the exportation of auc'i rommorilltea.
Thus Representative. Dartholdt declares that Tf sup
plies should be cut off from thla country, hontilitui
mould ceaae.' that by allowing the exportation of sup
piles for the arml.'s the Fnited Rtaes la 'not at
preaent maintaining; a position of neutrality as out
lined In Prenldent Wilton's proclamation.' and thai
we cennnt maintain neutrality 'so long ss one sld.
Rets supplies thst for various reasons cannot be ob
tained by the other aids." Senator Hitchcock save,
"How Inconsistent It seems, then, for our people to
be selling amis and munitions of war abroad to be
im-d to kill and malm!' Hcnator Works would stsrvc
the belligerents Into making pesce, and would hold
up not only arms and ammunition, but shoes, blan
kets, foodstuffs everything that would help sustain
sn army.
"There are three questions Involved In these pro
posals. The first Is f. question of ethics: Is it rlgM
for sny one to supply sn army with anything that
will help It In the work of maiming and killing? No.
answer those who beMeve that all war la essentially
wicked. War Is hell, they argue, and as the soldier's
business Is but legsllred murder, those who supply
the soldier with food, clothing, or shelter, or with
srms or horses or machinery, are aceompllses In
trime. Rut Is wsr alwaya wicked? Is every soldier
a murderer? We do not think so. We do not eounl
as murderers the fast disappearing veterans of the
ilvll war. Rather, we honor them, because they
were sacrificing themselves for others. But they
could not havs done their duty without shoes and
blankets and tents and horses and runs and ammuni
tion Ho the men who supplied them were to he
honored If they supplied good shoes and good blankets
and good guns and ammunition. Only those who are
willing to say that the veteran of the Grand Army of
the Republlo Is a legalised murderer can consistently
hold that It is always wrong to supply the fighting
forces of a ration their needed munitions of wsr. We
do not believe the American people will tske this
view. If the exportation of arms and army supplies
Is to be prohibited, It must be on other than purely
ethical grounds.
"But may not the prohibition of the export i f
munitions of war be Justified on the ground that this
country Is a neutral nation? Thla raises the second
question, a question of neutrality: Is It consistent
with the neutrality of the t'nlted Rates that n
American should sell munitions of war to a fornlgi
belligerent? In time of peace the right of the cltlsens
of one country to sell munitions of war to another
country Is unquestioned. In time of war this right
continues, though such supplies srs subject to selsur.
The taw of contraband should not be confused with
the law of neutrality. A neutral nation observes neu
trality only aa Its government treats all belligerents
alike. It does not maintain a neutral attitude if It
declares by Its acts that it intends to starve a bel
ligerent with which It is at peace. But It Is eta'.-d
that, as Germany Is excluded from the sea In thrfi
war. It haa not the same chance of buying such sup
plies as Its enemies have, and that therefore tho
I'nited States In fairness should refuse to sell to
those enemies of Germany. Thla means that the
United Htatea should take part In the conflict bv
doing, aa far as It can. to the injury of Rngland and
France by a commercial operation what Bngland haj
dona by naval operations to the Injury of Germanr.
Thla Is urging, not that the United States be neutrnl,
but that It be unneutral. It is asking the Unite 1
States .to take part In the war on one side wltho-.it
avowing Itself as a belligerent. It may ba that the
rules of that grim game called war are not as goo.t
rules as they might be: but It la not neutrality for
an avowedly neutral nation to undertake to change
those rules while that same Is In progress in order
to even the odds In favor of one side and against the
other. On the ground, therefore, of neutrality, the
prohibition of exports cannot be Justified.
"There remains, therefore, the third question, a
question ef permanent policy: la the prohibition of
exporting suoh supplies an act that we should regarl
as friendly and neutral If, the case being reversed.
w were at war and wished to purchase supplies from
a neutral power? At such a time aa this the United
States must make Its decision, guided not by present
sentiment and feeling alone, but by Its convictions
as to what It regards aa the policy of permanent valid
ity under all circumstances. Suppose the United
States were at war with Great Britain and had swept
the British navy from the sea (a supposition plainly
contrary to any conceivable fact), and we were con
fining our operations to defense along the Canadian
border: should wa regard It aa a friendly and neu
tral act on the part of Germany and France and Rus
sia and the other Kuropean powers If they Jointly
our soi
enHrelj
neutral and to even matters up because England had
lost Its fleet? We do not think that Americans would
consider that aa a sign of neutrality and frlendllnesi.
If It would not be a sign of neutrality and friendliness
on the part of Ruasla and France and Germany under
those conditions. It would certainly not be a sign of
neutrality on our part to do likewise under present
conditions.
"We do not think, therefore, that the prohibition
of the export of munitions of war can be Justified on
the ground of ethlos. on the ground of neutrality, or
on the ground of a consistent permanent policy."
2
and severally refused to sell ua clothing for
dlera on the ground that they wished to be entirely
Twice Told Tales
One members of the State Water Power
corouilvHiou insists that the report of that body
was given premature publication, and that it
hould have beeu first recast "to meet the rules
of grammar and rhetoric and to make it intel
ligible." Well, we'll pasa up the grammar and
the rhetoric if the commission's recommenda
tions tan be made to furnish us something
really practical.
8euator 'Qulnby makes a mighty strong case
In favor of consolidation of Dundea with Omaha
by pointing out the benefits already enjoyed by
our neighboring suburb not ot right, but by
mere comity. Perhsps it Is this very liberality
on the part of Omaha to Dundee that makes the
opponents of consolidation there believe they
can profit still more by holding out.
Report has it that a bunch ot eastern water
power magnates want to develop aa Installation
on the Loup river. Well, by all means let them
go ahead, aa nothing we know of preventa if
they have the money to do the business. But
we already have built In Nebraska all the power
canals on paper that we need.
A Dlg-loBaatle Tip.
At a time when It waa thought Uermeuy wanted
to get a foothold In Holland Bismarck and '.he
Dutch ambassador stood watching a review of O'e
Ovrman army. Aa a well set-up body of men marched
past the ambassador said: "Fine soldiers, but toi
short." Then csme the Grenadiers, between six snl
seven feet tall; nevertheless the amlxtasador'e comment
waa the same as before: "Fine soldiers, but li'J
short."
"What does your excellency niesn?" sskfd Bis
marck. "I mean that we can flood Holland eight feet
deep," replied the ambassador. Boston Trsrt'ctlpt.
Tvrlas.
"I don't like to see waning armies call to per
latently on Providence. It savors of arrogance and
self-rtifhteousneas. Providence rosy take revenge."
The speaker was Hlahop Lincoln L. Miles of Du
luth. lis went on:
"There was once a young couple tnat expected
visit from the atork. The husband wss anxious that
the stork bring a girl: the wife was anxioua for a boy
Being very religious, both besought Providence morn
ing, noon and night to grant his or her desire.
"And Providence heard. Providence granted bollj
prayers." Unh th Times.
People and Events
Kilkenny cats appear to have taken perms nert
quarters In Mexico.
earuorouh and Hartlepool are a long, long way
from Ttpporery. but within easy walking distance of
Loudon,
Kxpert advice from Washington Is to rhs effe t
that the fsce of a cold storage Is Just ss Innocent
of guile as the fresh one of yesterday.
A tip for tourist s-to-be comes out of ths approach
ing dry belt of Colorado. The absence of local sttniu
lants will not arfect the impreasiveneee of the scenery
If you carry your own bottle.
If It keeps up much longer the shell game may
dlsturi the home grown nerve of Johnny Bull. Tossing
rude compliments of tbe s.aaon on the sacred soil of
England tends to convince Cousin George that Ceusla
BUI doesn't need a nerve tonic
Police Chl.f Ed Holler of Terre Haute. Ind.. la
emphasising his name Just now. The occasl for the
"holler" Is a sentence of thirty days in Jail for re
fusing to carry out a Judgment or the supreme co.ut
ef the state. The acoustU properties of his qusrtsrs
Is aa unknown quantity.
Sea vests Street t ar Federals.
KOfTH OMAHA, Neb.. Pec. 2 -To
tl-o Editor of TH! flee: It was susueeted
to th" writer the other dsy thst Omshn,
Council Bluffs and South Omnha reqiiest
tl.e Omaha and Council Bluffs Street
Railway lumpnny to furnish funeral care
pn reiiuert the name as Chlcsgo. Kan
sas City, itenver snd other cities. The
convenience snd advisability la obvious.
There arc at least four deaths every day
In the ihc't cities, so it would be a pay
ing proposition for the street csr com
pany. J. Q. BLKSS1XG.
Color 1.1 e for Santa.
OMAHA. Dec. fl. To the Editor of The
Bee: According to Booker T. Washing
ton, who appeals for outside help for these
little folks, the cotton crisis sill cheat
thousands of southern colored children out
their Christmaa cheer, which reminds
me of tne provision being made here In
Omaha for the poorer colored children
as well aa the others, whose parents are
unable to provide Christmas Joys for
them. In ample time generous-hearted
and wide-awake mon and women of their
own race began the collection of clothing,
food and goodtea for these boys and
girls, so thst they might realise when
old Hanta cornea that he comes for alt
and that he draws no color line, or lines
of distinction between the rich end poor.
The Idea belongs to John Orant Pegg,
city Inspector of weights and measurea,
and bas been worked out in co-operation
with white and colored, the latter, how
ever, carrying the burden of the enter
prise. Buf h efforts deserve commenda
tion and should be known to all because
they reflect very creditably upon the
character of Omaha's colored people.
U M.
Let Ererrbstf Help.
UPLAND, Neb., Dec. 21. To the Kdltor
of The Bee: There has developed In one
town of the state a slight opposition to
the governor's Idea or a statewide or
ganization for Belgian relief. This Is
highly to be regretted, though tbe resson
given is that we should take care of our
own poor; Of course, we should see that
no one at home be starving, but If on
will only slop to consider the vast amount
of difference In the Intensity and wide
scale of the suffering la Belgium and
that at home, the latter will be conceived
to be so Infinitesimal In comparison, that
one should hesitate to make even a
suggestion to decry a cause so worthy.
Of course we do not know the conditions
in Grand Island, but we do know that
generally speaking our great state, taken
as a whole, had good crops this year,
and especially of wheat, and that we are
obtaining 60 per cent more for this crop
as a result of the war and Its distrenslng
results than the price before hostilities
were thought of and that In our little
village of Upland, at least, we know of
no ease where charity la needed. Can we
not spare same of that (9 per cent in
crease in prices or a little of that wheat,
to put In the mouths of those hungry
little children, widows and other help
less invalids of Belgium? ,
And before anyone opposes this move
let him realise fully that he Is actually
taking away the bread out ot theso
mouths by this kind of tslk, a very seri
ous thing in Ita consequences If we have
anything in us of the human qualities of
charity, compassion and pity for Inno
cent sufferers. If anyone does not feel
like giving, let him at least withhold his
tongue, because. God knows, there will be
enough of ua who will not lack In ex
cuses to part with a little of their abund
ance to help relieve the terrible misery
of a worthy, hard-working. Industrious
and honest people, brought down to
starvation and death by no fault of
theirs.
With a great many of us it should not
be with a few cents that we should con
scientiously dismiss this great crisis from
our minds or ow hearts. Let the dollars
rain down on th unfortunates and lest
there might be those wbo would feel a
pang in parting with $5. $10 or $30, let
them remember that la is probably going
to save a life and what feeling can sur
pass in happiness and comfort that which
Is the result of having responded to the
full extent of our ability the call of help
less misery? Let us then help the gov
ernor with all our might: let us even
forestall him by going ahead and organ
izing committees o solicit funds or wheat
or flour or clothing;.
In our llttlo .. of Upland with leas
than soo Inhabitants and the community
of farmers trading her we raised IMS
In about two days, after the people were
appealed to through the local pajx-r,
moving picture show and the meeting
of the favorably Inclined. Our solicitors
were generally welcome.
They found the people in a iceptlv
mood, geaeraUy eager U contribute. The
spirit of the west was evident. A few
who hsd been overlooked or missed by
our solicitors went to some trouble to
take part in the good work. Practically
everybody gave' something and It was re
markable how quite a few om-nlng nothing
but their team, a few cows and chickens,
a big heart and a "lioumful of kids" were
glad of the occasion to help those less
fortunate than themselves. . s
A Member of the lU.llan Relief Com
mittee of Upland. Neb.
Editorial Shrapnel
Washington Star: Connecticut, having
abolished th use f the word "convicts."
might go a step further snd refer to th
prisoners ss "guests."
Chicago Herald: The late Sereno Payne,
like many another man before him,
achieved distinction by the slmpl but
Infallible expedient of knowing one thing
extremely well.
St. Louis Republic: tvents at Mcarhor
ough and Hartlepool Indicate that the
naviee do not propose to let the airahipa
get ahead of them In destruction of Inno
cent aoneombaiants.
Indianapolis Ns: Mr. Hsrrlck's an
nouncement that it crat hlin tJO.0u0 to
work his Job as ambsmartor to Franc
may tend further to make plain titisen
hesitate about trying to get into the dip
lomatic service.
Baltimore Ameucan: Little Switzerland
Is getting extremely belligerent against
any Intrusion upon her neutrality. Nor
la the Helvetian republic to be laughed
at. for, though she bss no navy, she can
mobilise a larger trained army than the
United eta tea. A frown on the Swkaa face
means something.
t. Louis Rspubllc: The fortunes of
war may wot ant much affected by th
sinking of th oil Messudleh, but th
British putHe will gladly hail th ex
ploit aa proof that British seamen still
know how to die m-tih death at heavy
odds for the prise of victory. Submarine
honors no longer rest exclusively with
the Cercsa t'-. In B-tl it finds a splen
did rival.
Nebraska Editors
John B. csbeen, former owner of the
Ong Visitor. ho V.sd been sn Invalid
for the last three years. dl-d last week
at Hastings.
E. H. Miller, who hse been connected
with the Alliance New for several
months, bas loased the plant from Mrs.
Knel.st snd is now In charge.
H. R. Secord. rropriefr of the ntna(
Breer has enlsrtred his paper to a li
column quarto. 11 will Install a new
press snd sn electric motor for each
machine in bis plant.
H. D. Leggett, proprietor of the Pt
Paul Republican, announces sn increase
ta advertising- rates effective the first of
the year. He says the Increase In the
cost of labor and materials mHkcs this
step nttesaary.
SNOW-CAPPED SMILES.
"Dinah. 1M you wean the fish before
S'ou baked It?"
"I.sw, ma'am, what's de use oh wasfiln'
er tish what's lived aJI hi life In d
water?" Philadelphia Leader.
"Look here!" said an excited man to
a druggist. "Tou gave me morphine for
qulnln this morning."
''Is thst so?" replied the drug-st.
'Then you owe me 46 cents." Christian
Register.
"That fellow Is off bis nut."
"Then why not turn him over to your
crusty old uncle?"
"What good could he do him?"
"I thought you said your uncle was
such a screw. "Baltimore American.
Caller (to little mtss of 4-Well. Dor
othy, I hesr thst your grandmamma is
coming home today. You'll be very glsd,
won't you?
Dorothy (sorloua snd considerate) Me
dium. Boston Transcript.
"Madam," said the man. when a wo
man answered the doctor's doorbell,
"could you let me have a pair of the doe
tor's discarded pants?"
"Htr." thundered the woman. "1 am the
doctor." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Well, my good woman." said the slum
mar, "I must be going. Is there any
thing I csn do for you?"
"Only that." responded the submerged
one wearily. Houston Post.
First Modern Psrent Aren't your two
children something of a problem?
Second Modern Parent Yes, Indeed.
,They go aesy to school for thirty-eight
aeks, to csmp for ten, snd that leaves
four vthnle weeks afttr when I don t
know where to nd them -Life
"Pa. what la 'the eternal question?' "
"Just now, my bey, alth every married
msn It Is whst to buy for his wife."
Detroit Free Press.
Pill Burglsr I ain't gonna rob no poor
lone Woman, 1 a:n t.
.Mike Thief What's de matter? Octtln'
oft
Hill Burglar Soft, nothln'. Them Ion
belplese women s de kind d it hslf Kill"
ye and then sends ye to Jail I'hllsdel
phla 1-edger.
Mr Exe-Dld the lawyer for the de
fense submit y ou to s cre-exaiiilnatioti '
Mrs. Wye No. indt-ed: he was Just ss
plenssnt sbout it as he could be. De
troit Free Press.
A SIMPLE GIFT.
The Merry Chri.stn.ns lime hns coine
gain,
A season when with heart and soul
agios .
Our thoughts turn outward to our fellow
men.
And love rules for the moment here
below.
A season when alike the rich and poor
awaken and more nobly, trulv live.
Enloylng the receipt of friendly gifts
As measured by the knowing how to
give.
'Tls not a paltry gift that bought with
gold.
Or Jewels rare from our Go'.conda's
mine.
Or treasures thst the sea or esrth may
hold
That satisfies the need at Chrtstmss
time.
'Tls not a tie or pair of ailken hose
Of many hues, nor yet cistata; my store
Is quite complete. 1 would hsve none of
those.
I've loads of them from Christmaaes of
yore.
It Is a gift that a richer far t'isn these.
More precious thsn the costliest work
of man;
A gift thst In the future years will plesse
And help to brighten all life's rugged
plan.
'T's b it a simple gift from out the heart.
That's weighted down with kindly
thought snd love:
A word, a sinlle, a look, which when we
part
Will seem a message from the realms
above. N
Then at this blessed season of the year.
But this 1 ask, and nothing more than
this
Just whisper softly to my listening ear.
"I love you, desr," nnd Heal It with .a
kiss.
Omaha. DAVID
Time and Trial Prove
the unequalled value of Beechara's Pills as the
beat corrective of ailments of the digestive organs
so common and the best preventive of lasting and
serious sickness to often resulting from defective or
irregular action of the stomach, liver or bowels.
etaBiro9s PMs
have a great record. For ever half a century they have been asei with
entire satisfaction in thousands of homes. A few doses will prove to
you that you can find prompt relief from the headaches, depression of
spirits and general no-(rood feelings caused by indigestion or biliousness
Try them, and yon will know what it is to have at your command such
An Invaluable Aid to Health
Tb Urnst SaU mi Aar Medietas In the World. '
eld esssywneg. la koaes, I0e 28.
Genuine
Lock Springs Doal
Mined by the Original Producer, Sold by the Following Dealers
People poal Co.
I'nion Fuel Co.
Updike Lnmber Jk Coal Co.
West Omaha Coal Ice Co.
Dworak Wrecking Co.
Havens Coal Co.
McCaffrey Bros.
Nebraska Fuel Co.
Jeff W. Bedford
Henry Foley
Harmon A Weetlt
Howell A Son
C. W. Hull Co.
C. H. Johnson
Keys Lumber & Coal Co.
Lucas Coal Company
CARDOIJ GOAL & SUPPLY COMPANY
Nebraska Distributers.
Biiwisji.sjttsiiaw ya.is'
1 .,-
i
BUY YOUR
Calendars
FOR 1916
Of An Omaha Concern
Our line of 1916 Calendars is
now complete snd represents a
large assortment of beautiful
foreign and domestic subjects. V
can (ill your Calendar orders to
your entire satisfaction, both
from an ARTISTIC and ECONOM
ICAL standpoint.
liOOST FOR OMAHA
by buying your Calendars oC us.
Write or phone for our salesman
to call.
St. . High-class sales saea wasted
F. M. SHAFER & CO
12th and Farnam 8ta.
Hotel Itelin
Broadway ai 29h Si
"Aa Matol WW Caasts are Mad
to Feel at Home"
. Not too large, vet large
enough to afford the
maximum of value at
minimum expense.
Exceptionally Accessible
504 Jtessw HhJtratt Rssnumtaf Ckarga
Sioilt Boos vlrh gastrin, Vttr
il.00iaS2.90prasr
Sisgis IsosM lfs Tsk sr Shower
f M0 is $.00prir
IVst-hle leosis with Banning Water
12.00 ts 14.00 per gar
DV.s ftseos with Tsk er Show
13.00 M te.00 per Asr
EDWARU C FOGG. MeMVT XMreXes
HOT L. BROWN. KtmJmt Man
During tbe Holiday Shopping
Season you can Increase the time
for making your 1 purchases and
will feel better by getting quick
sen Ice sad pure food st one of
The Pure Food Sign.
Quicks err Cafeteria
Cafeteria 10th and Harney St,,
City Nat l Bank Bid. Itowastair.
Lunch Rooms 119 8. 16th 6C.I
1406 Douglas St. 1408 Farnam.
SJgi ii ijihii nij
K 9 'AA
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