Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, December 20, 1914, EDITORIAL SOCIETY, Page 6-B, Image 20

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    I11H OMAHA SUNDAY BEK: DECEMBER 20, 1914
THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEB
FOUNDED HY EDWARD ROSE WATER.
VICTOR ROSKWATER, EDITOR .
The Be Publishing Company. Proprietor.
PKK BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVEKTEENTlt
Entered at Cfflihk postofflce aecond-elaa matter.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Rv carrier
per month.
Piillv end Sunday r.e...
1 i -ttlw.n, Ktthriav .
Kvenlng and Pun-lay
Frenln without Sunday
T1y mall
per year.
, I .
4 (
(no
4
HnnrffiV Bra only fc t."
F.m.l notice rt rhsnre of address rr complaints of
trref-tilartty In delivery to Omaha Bee, Clroulatlon
lepartmrnt.
Remit hv draft. express or postal order. Only two
rent pos's-" stamps received In payment of small ac-
counts Personal check, except on Omaha and caatern
exrhanae. not accepted.
OKFICES. !
Omaha-The Roe Butldinp.
Jouth Omaha -i18 N atreet.
Council Bluffs 14 North Main street.
Lincoln ffi Little Building.
"hica:n fH Ilea rat RulMlng.
New Vork Room 11ns. Fifth avenue, v
8t. Louis-fins New Rank of Commerce.
Washlji-tton 73 Fourteenth St.. N. W.
44,671
ttet of Nebraska. County of Douglas, ss.
nwlht Wll lama. circulation nutnsscr of The Pc
Publlvhlng compny, being duly sworn, ssys that
the average Humlay circulation for the month of
November, 1I4, wns 44.S7I
DWlflHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Mnsgr.
Subscribed In mv presence and sworn to befor
me, thia 6th dav of Teremher, 114.
ROBERT HUNTER. Notary rutillc.
Subscriber leaving the city temporarily
should hare The Bee mailed to them. Ad
dress will be change! a often aa reqiieftted.
Turning Into the home stretch on early
Christmas shopping. - , . -
The only enchantment distance lend to war
Is the distance it In from you. ,
Oh, cheese it on this talk about not giving
CbrlBtmaa presents to the little Swiss children.
It la almost pathetic the way Benor Gutter
rei loves those dear Americanos.
Well, you ran now count the days left for
your early shopping on one hand.
That "compromise" on Nebraska patronage
just now looks further away than ever.
The kaiser's troops proved their ability to
, tackle big things when they captured the Hon.
Zbyszko.
It Is cot always the wisest man who makes
a daring sprint to boat a street car or automo
bile across the street.
Well, how inuch of a reduction In 'water
rates! do we get this time for our municipal own
ership Chrletrnn present? . ' ' ..v,
It goes without saying that whenever one of
the combatants meets a defeat It Is compelled
to "rearrange" tbe position xf Us army.
"John Barleycorn is on his last legs," de
clares the Rev. Charles M. Sb&don. Sometimes
It seems that old John must be a regular centi
pede. ,; i
The needs of modern civilization are partic
ularly characterized, according to some of our
military experts, by the demand for adequate
aircraft.
The Seattle Post-Intelllgencer remarks that
a chauffeur named ilellwagon bas asked the
court to change his name, which provokes the
Boston Transcript to say, "He auto." Honk!
Honk! ' v
Tbe purveyors of good things to ett promise
that the Christmas dinner will cost less this
year than heretofore. Good! Otherwise a lot
of folks might have to eat only half a Christmas
dinner - , - '
Every appointee of. President Wilson on the
Interstate Commerce commission, has voted to
help out the railroads on their 'rate increase.
Oh, how tbe trusts and ; railroads . fear those
democrats! '"'.'
The meter rate per thousand gallons for
water in Omaha Is still only 3 cents less than
what the Water board ordered the old water
company to charge. It should be almost time
for a real reduction.
If it be true that 139 warships have been put
out of commission tlace the coniaienceu-ent of
hostilities, It is only a question of time when the
I'nltcd States will have the greatest navy of all.
without adding a single ship to. present strength:
Secretary Bryan will also omit this year the
usual dinner given to the diplomatic corps by
the secretary of state on New Year's day. That
ought to help as much as a Chautauqua lecture
toward keeping the expense account within that
paltry i:.000-a-year salary.
T9 VT VT-J- O S7
8. A. Orchard left for a few days' visit at De
Molne. . ,
Travel la vry Usht at prevent, ana few traveling
salesmen are upon the road.
Mrs. Joaeph MeUger of Denver Is in Omaha to
attend the wedding of her slater. Mlii Faniila Bciila.
ainser.
Tbe t'Utere of the Sacred Heart hava arecte a
atandilpe and flro eacapa to their building at a coat
bf tt-arly M.OK),
R. E. Dwyer. first baaeman of the Union Pacific
tall team, left for fcyracuna. N. Y., where ha has
Uinptlr.s- oifcra from- the baee ball manavement of
that city.
T!a wo-k of cutting and atorlng lc for the coming
aeasou haa t-un In tanif.t. In the river la now
1 Intel ttn aud twelve lnrht-e thick. The following
U the apptgxlnmte tuns to b houMsd by the rlnclp
lacka: A'Axuut ltenhon. .(; Guy Jk 'ch, S.tW;
K iniUIl it t;a., 6U. ilr. Iiauman.M.00; Frd Mel.
J.iu.a K. lu.yd. 'int; Mitejr Co , Harris
ft H.ut-r. I.vai; tKhrut-der Mi&hana. l.vv: the 8ou(h
iiiulja J'arklug uoufce, 7,M. it la eatlmated that
u n and t teama will find empluyuient in thla In
l .Mry. The pikia r paid from II ! to ; tha
iuJa-is from Jl.a t i:y, mad the teaiiu (rom IIM
CORRESPONDENCE.
Addreaa communliatlona relatlna to newa and edl
torlal matter to Omaha Bee. Editorial Department.
NOVUMREU hlXD.lY t lHCl 'LOTION.
"A Billion Dollars a Month."
The military budget Just voted by the French
Chamber of Deputies to carry on the war for six
months in computed on tbe basin of two hundred
million dollars a month. With four other great
powers engaged In the fray, and several lesser
nations, the money-cost of the conflict, regard
less of lives lost and property destroyed. Is con
servatively eatlmated at a billion dollars a
month.
The Incomprehensible site of this coloffal
sum whkh is being offered up to the war god
without any visible compensatory return Is
almost staggering. A writer In the Saturday
Evening I'owt invites persons of an Inquiring
deposition to speculate as to what would hap
pen it all the armies would be struck with rea
son so that the soldiers would simply throw
down their guns and tramp home. A less im
practical, although perhaps no more fruitful
speculation, could dwell upon the possibilities
for good that could be accomplished by the ex
penditure ofj'a billion dollars a month" for con
structive Instead of for destructive human ef
fort. One week's war subvention would build a
Panama canal, and a half month's appropriation
would complete the Improvement of all . our
navigable waterways on the roost comprehensive
plan that has been laid out.
The amount of money already shot away, we
are reminded, would equal In value one-third of
the railroad systems of the United States.
It would not take many months' war bud
gets to transform every road and highway in
this vast country Into a beautifully paved
boulevard with speedways on every trunk line.
Just think what "a billion dollars a month"
would do In erecting new school houses, putting
up needed public buildings, establishing parks
and playgrounds, and beautifying our cities and
towns. ,
Try to Imagine, if you can, what could be
done with a billion dollars every month to re
lieve distress and suffering, to prevent and cure
disease, ;and tcdrlve misery and suffering out
of the lives of countless thousands.
.' , ''A billion dollars a month" and still we
seem, to bo guessing as wildly as ever on the
probable duration of the war.
' Where Accurate Statistics Count.
Delinquents are being stirred up by the Com
mercial club publicity bureau for falling to send
In responses to requests for dafa from which
may be compiled the statistics of the amount of
business done In Omaha during the year. The
strange thing is the men who realise fully tbe
comparative value of figures exhibiting tbe out
put along the different lines, and the increase or
docrease from year to year,' often hesitate to
make their own returns, as If it were something
to be kept strictly to themselves, quite forgetful
that the reliability of the total depends on hav
ing all ,the factors In it. The truth is, Omaha
has never had a proper showing In the trade
statistics for the reason referred to, compelling
more or less incorrect guesses, . Only If our
business men grasp the point, and make the
necessary returns, will pur flty occupy Us right
ful place In the tablea by which Its Importance
aa a manufacturing and Jobbing . center is'
measured. ... . .
Big "Work for Church Unity.
, "The, very name of tbe Church. Pea Union,;
which' has commissioned Dr. Shailer Mathews as
its rood will ambassador to Japan, signifies a
great and worthy mission one that outreacb.es
all denominational, lines. Dr. Mathews, who ta
broad add representative enousch to mak an
excellent ambassador, is to take from the
churches of the United States to those of Japan
a message expressing the desire for Justice to
Ja,pan under all circumstances. He Is to Join
uaiiua wna ur, oauey. i. uuiicK or we uni
versity of Kyoto in furthering tbe good will be
tween the two nations,
It is a great work for. the churches to engage
in. Acting together, they can do It; Kingly they
would never attempt It. Neither would the
Carnegie Foundation ever endow such an enter
prise to be conducted by a denomination. Tasks
of this sort lift our churches above denomlna
tlonallsni and facilitate the progress most of the
churches are making toward a goal of broader
usefulness. It is worthy of note that whenever
a world mission of thia character falls to tbe
churches. It Is attacked Only In concert, which
eema to make clear the fact that the' larger
work of the church which Is Inspirational, after
all requires the merging of the partition walls.
It Is especially so In the far eastern countries,
where missionaries have long ago found it diffi
cult to teach the "One God" religion, while at
tempting to preserve certain human distinctions
of theory and interpretation.
The After-Dinner Speaker.
It . la interesting, to note the coincident
views of Mr. Dooley'and Brander Mathews oa
the after-dinner speech. Says the latter:
We have heard a great deal of late about th
efficiency engineer; and It Is rather strange that soma
enterprising mrmber of that new and alluring profea.
alon haa- not turned hla attontlon to the erlentlflo
management of tha publlo banquet In order to lm.
prova the wasteful methods of the untrained ama
teura. who are generally allowed to take charge of
taoae affairs. ,
And Mr. Dooley:
I cau remlmber when afther-ulnner orathry maa
wan iv tli' proud. M Inatlchoochttis Iv American life -whin
tha aayln1 waa that hundhreda Iv people wlnt
to banklta to h-ar Chanay Iepoo talk, in' so did
Chansy Depoo. But that day haa gona by. People
ar-re tired Iv amoachoor oratora, an' th' next atop
wilt bo to hire thralned apeakera. to help ua dl-gest
our vltUea, juat tha same aa we hire thralned mu
sician. Everybody who knows anything about this
American malady of midnight banquets, with
Ita complication or after-dinner wlndfammlag,
knows that where most of these orators make
their biggest mistake Is la cajoling themselves
Into believing that the other guests at the table
really car a snap about what they are saying.
But that does not abate the ravages of the dis
ease. It continues to spread and gather new
victims. Only men of the strongest constitu
tions are Immune. It takes a will power of
Iron to resUt. tbee blandishments. Some men
become chronic victims. Dooley describes one
such, a gauut, pale dysj.ptlc, who, though ad
mitting his hatred for tbe very name of the
thing, nevertheless went to a banquet and made
an after-dinner speech every time h got tbe
chance. So far gone was he that be could not
walk out of an ordinary ham-and restaurant
without bowing to tbe fair cashier and address
ing her as "Mlher Chairman." In fact, Mr.
Dooley concludes that tbe only way to keep one
of these chronics from a banquet Is to choke
him. Not Inviting him will fail, for he will
come "annyway," disguised aa a waiter or hide
behind a potted plant.
As Brander Mathews aaya all sorts and con
ditions of men continue to come together at
these festal boards to listen to all sorts of
speeches, knowing beforehand the torture that
Is In store for them. The suggestion offered in
fun might be taken In earnest to put all such
functions under the regulation of an efficiency
export.
Our Safety Valves. .
Americans are living at a fast pace, most of
tbe time keyed up to a high tension. They give
enormously ot their nerve, power to their busi
ness affairs. Some go to the breaking point
prematurely and Pay the Inevitable toll. But
constantly we are learning the lesson and de
voting more attention to wholesome diverson,
such as base ball, foot ball (those who do not
play them get tha benefit aa spectators and de
votees), golf, tennis, autolng and others. These
we may call the safety valves for the escape of
our excess steam. When the pressure of pent-up
anxiety and care reaches the point of exhaustion
there is the safety valve for the' escape, and
every man owes It to himself, his family and his
buslnees to make the most of It.
Some of our decorous friends from other
lands have been abashed at tbe volume of what
strikes them as rowdyism displayed at base ball,
for example, but what if Americans had no such
popular outlet for their native strenuosity, what
would become of thetn? It Is not rowdyism,
but rather sportsmanship, the same sort that
sends a fellow Into the air at a horse race (of
which we ought to have more), or an auto race,
or any other exciting contest or competition.
They are safety valves that enable one to turn
bis mind entirely away front the vexing cares
of business for the time being and fit hira all
the better for grappling with them later.
Rivers and Sail Kates.
While the consumer ultimately bears the
burden of increased freight rates, where they
are Just and reasonable, he can have no com
plaint The ' Interstate Commerce commission
certainly has taken time enough to determine
the merits of the case before granting the right
of Increases to eastern railroads, although the
dissent of two of its members would still Indi
cate a decided question as to the demands. This
action, whether or not it stimulates business as
railway men say it will, is aura to be followed
by increased efforts of western roads for Ua
same concession. i
"The only bearing the ruling will have to
ward granting increases to western roads," says
President Gardner of the Northwestern, already
foreshadowing the attempt, "Is whether the Jat
tor can present equal Justification and neces
sity." The abnormal conditions resulting from the
war will figure in the demands of western lines,
as they did in the east, and it will not be denied
that they do cut a big figure, as with most all
kinds of business. But with tha Panama canal
traXflo developing, all these present freight rate
adjustments must be regarded as only tem
porary. The canal has served to emphasise the
commercial Importance of river navigation and
wide-awake communities are addressing them
selves to the matter of Its development aa they
have not done im the past It s only a question
of time until water transportation, especially
here in the middle west, will create a new and
formidable competition for the '.railroads. To
meet this, land traffic will have to undergo an
entirely new readjustment of 'freight rates.
School and Home.
In short. U not, tha child discipline problem
rather a school-and-home. thun . a- court-and-home
problem? Are we not trying in our
ntlra juvenile court system to turn an ed
ucational taak Into a court taaltT Haa not
modern mercy led us eft on a falaa trail? Beauti
ful aa haa been the ministry of tha Juvenile court
(the writer has been a probation officer for seven
yearn), Is It not owing to the backwardness of our
school system that such a ministry was ever necea
aary or excusable? Christopher O. Rueaa in Cali
fornia Outlook.
While the answer to this last question might
involve the failure of the home more than the
Bchool, tbe main point made here seems to us
unassailable. The writer would attempt to
remedy matters by employing a schooi-and-home
visitor to keep in touch with the child, his
parents and surroundings as well aa school. But
conceding a fruitful field for such an office, the
fact remains that this and all such expedients
are curative and required only because the home
haa fallen down on Its Job. As The Bee haa
consistently maintained, they may make excel
lent remedies, but can never take tbe place of
home Influence In the life of the child. And
again, let us say, that one of the perils Involved
in all these experiments is the facility they af
ford for the easy escape from the exacting duties
and responsibilities of the home and moving
along lines of least resistance. In this day
when the tendency is for families to live apart,
separated as they are by a diversity of Interests
between the members, Instead of. more closely
knit together around one common altar aa b
fore, tbe temptation to seize on all such expedi
ents is only too strong.
Bringing amusement back Into tha hyne' la an
elemental activity of the home-and-achool visitor,
who bellevea that tha home la the place to grow
Meals and that Ideala make character.
Do the members of the average home, rich
or poor, find as much mutual interest in home
amusements and entertainents aa they might,
as was once the case? Whether this bome-and-school
visitor could effect the restoration we
know not, but it may be conceded that so long
as present conditions exist the void will be felt
Tbe only way to give back to the home Us
proper sphere and power in the life of the child,
therefore of the citizen, 1 for the heads of the
homes to be willing to make sacrifices that will
be necessary to pay the cost. But any effort,
any cost, will be Justified. This writer, himself
a. professional reformer of the Juvenile court
variety, confesses the failure of that remedy,
and he might with truth go on and say that
every kindred remedy and expedient had failed,
as all must fall that seek to supplant so much
of the home and family influence.
j . r. '
! 8o alimony Is declared to.be subject to the
' Income tax. But the 'income tax applies only
! to the excess over $3,000 a year, which must be
well above the dead line of the great majority
J of tbe alimony brlguda .
People and Events
Pouthcm .planters are waking tip and
retching On. One of the wise cotton rais
ers of Alabama aold hla plantation and
Invested tha proceed In drug store In
a dry district.
THe American sweet tooth Is growing
an arched front at an astonishing rate.
In twenty-five years the consumption of
sugar has Increased from I" 44 pounds per
capita In 189 to &3K In lint.
Tha Mcthurelah of the waning year.
Rev. V. Rldwen of Vermont, answered
tha summons a few days ago at tha age
of 101. He waa tha oldest Methodist Epis
copal minister In this country.
Mrs. Essey inrrersoll Apperman, a rela
tive of Bob Ingeraoll, makes the point
that the Ideally happy mama. will not
arrive until woman Is allowed to propose
to man. Gee whls, who Is holding thorn!
Devotees of the aonoroua "Turkish"
cigarette need not be alarmed about tha
available supply on account If the war.
London experta say the tobacco doea not
come from Turkey, at all. It la the "cur
ing" of tbe contents that gives strength
to tha smudge.
A movement In St. Louis to abolish
strap-hanging in the street cars and put
eats where strap-hangers congregate is
an Interesting event No doubt the street
car management will make the change
as soon as It Is presented. Inasmuch as
street car companies hate to tako money
for standing room only.
Champtona of the girl ueher In theaters
In New York have come to the front In
droves. They acout the assertion that
they have leas self-possesalon than male
ushers. Besides being polite and efficient,
their champions point to their value as a
scenic decoration. Isn't that sweet of the
fnon?
Authorities of Philadelphia are chasing
butchers who are putting over the meat
of rams as choice kid" mutton and charg
ing fancy prices for U. The discovery of
tha substitution waa made by an In
spector who spoiled a fine gold tooth In
making an Insertion In a hunk of buttln
sky's flank. Whereupon tha Inspector
got tha butchers' goat
The report of tha Ohio commission tor
the year ending November IS last credits
tha worklngmen's compensation act with
having effected a marked decrease In the
number of accidents in the workshops of
the state. Tha commission says a spirit
of co-operation has been Introduced and
employers and employes are doing admir
able team work on safety first lines.
MUFFLED K50CKS.
The trouble with a good talker Is that
he Is always a poor quitter.
Some men think you can't cultivate an
acquaintance unless you Irrigate It.
Every tlma a married man digs up a
new excuse for being out late he In
fringes on some other fellow's patent
If a man had a chance to gat flO.000
a week for minding his' own business he
wouldn't hold the Job more than a few
licurs.
What has become of the old-fsshloned
man who used to rasten hla boiled sh'rt
to his pants with tha flap at the bottom
of the bosom?
One thing In favor of the man whose
panta are shiny In the seat Is that they
didn't get that way from learning the
sea lion dip at a tango temple.
A woman will send flowers to a man
who haa murdered his wife. But slie be
llevea that any man who is the father
of twelve children is too onery to live.
There Is only one thing that comes as
hard as paying an old bar bill. And that
is when the defeated candidate haa to
prepare his expense account for publica
tion. You might Imagine that a homely girl
would be grateful to a man for marrying
her. But after she gets you she will
toast you Just as much as If she was the
prettiest thing In town when you snared
her.
Once In a while Mother decides to let
Father down easy when he cornea home
Sftnr spending the evening posing In front
of members of tha bartenders' union,
and ahe will make up her mind to forget
that she haa either eyes or ears. But
after Father gets home Mother gets mad
because she can't forget that she has a
noso.
Every spring, when tho sun Is warm
and the blrda are singing, a man throws
his overcoat into the corner of a closet
becauaa ha knows ha will be able to buy
a new one when winter comes around
again. And tha next fall, when It starts
to enow, he finds that he Is broke, aa
usuul. and tho old coat feels mighty good
to hlnv. Cincinnati Enquirer.
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULFIT.
WHAT CITIES ARE DOING.
Winnipeg is to have an athletta olub
house of twelve stories, at an estimated
cost of fRO.OOO.
Spirit Lake, la., comes Into'Xhe year's
homestretch with a record of $300,000
spent In Improvements.
Panama City la to have a laundry. Ice
plant and lea cream factory operated
jointly under one roof.
Chicago reports LX0 holdups during the
last eleven months. More policemen are
needed to put down the boldupa.
Chicago experts figure out ta loss of
tlHOOO.Ow) a year In wasted time due to
trafflo congestion In downtown streets.
Cincinnati la seriously considering tha
advisability of advertising the city.
Money could not be put Into a better
asset.
The city of Niagara rails la going ino
the city manager business, hoping thereby
to cut out the profits of municipal mid
dlemen. The Lyons County Farmers' Produce
association of Kmporia, Kan.,' organised
a year ago, did a business of tW.OOS in
twelve months.
Milwaukee has a cat and dog cemetery
of five acrea. Jt ta tho only place In tha
neighborhood where canine and feline ob
serve strict neutrality.
Soup kitchens are blooming In Ft Louis
under municipal auspices. At the grand
opening of the plant 300 gallons of noodle
soup were used as a filler for 900 men.
To live winter Jobs to as many Idle
hands as passible tha school board of
Dee Molnea haa ordered work to pro
ceed on repairs and Improvements usually
dona In summer.
The New York novelty of hiring out
young men as eaoorta for women haa
reached St. Louis and Kansas City. En
gaging manners Is a prime requisite for
an eeoort job, which biases a new .route
for romance and elopement.
Police and health departments of Salt
Ike City are to be housed In tbe Young
Men's Christian association building re
cently purchased by the city. The deal
benefits both skies the Young Men's
Christian association grta needed ' cash
for larger quarters, and police and health
officials ruminate In a religious at-mjepbere
e)t. Loula Globe Democrat: Never tear.
Christianity hss survived worse wars
thMi this; and tha participants have even
tlalmd It as their In nl ratios.
Baltimore American: The expected
holy war has been declared. As we al
ready have a Christian war all the
horrors of barbaric heathenism may be
locked for.
Washington Poat: America's first book
Is sail to have been Issued In Mexico
m IKS, under the title of "A Spiritual
Ladder for Reaching Heaven." lan't It
about time for a reprint?
Brooklyn Kagle: Joseph Smith, head
of the Mormon church, who died recently,
always denied that hla father, The
Prophet." ever sanctioned polygamy. He
was himself a devoted man according to
his lights and had executive capacity
which was most useful to hla much criti
cised organisation.
Houston Poat: The Vatican authorlltes
announce that the efforts maJe by tho
pope to obtain a truce In the European
war during tha Christmas holidays hav
met with failure, "owing to the opposition
of a certain power." Possibly thla "cer
tain power" agreed with Mr. Carnegie,
that It would be "unchristlanllke to stop
righting and then begin tt again." In
fcuropo at present It Is evident that the
od of war and not of the prince of
lce rule, th thoughts of men.
QUAINT BITS OF LIFE.
J. J. '.ramaux. Pittaburgti. Sked for a
divorce, alleging that his wife habitually
beats him.
The seven sons In the Burkheieer fam
ily of Detroit weigh 1.609 pounds. They
are all between the ages of S3 and 38, are
all married and their average weight Is
nearly S3 pounds.
Mrs. Martha guddath of Columbia, Mo.,
was married recently with the ring which
had been used by eight of her maternal
ancestors, beginning with her great-great-great-grandm'other.
In Trenton. N. J., a woman is reported
to have divorced her husband because ho
hated the sight of her face and was bru
tal to her, and another for the even mora
serious reason that he objected to tha way
she was singing to the baby.
This fall Eben Allen, aged ST. of Ells
worth. Me., has dug 100 bushels of pota
toes, gathered 100 bushels of vegetables,
threshed a . bushel of beans, gathered
forty bushels o( apples and has sawed
two and one-half cords of wood, besides
doing numerous other duties about .the
house. .
Fsv. Sedgwick W. Bldwell of East Mid
dlebury, Vt, Is 106 years old. Two yeare
ago he delivered a vigorous sermon be
fore a large congregation in the East
Mlddlebury Methodist church. He has
kept his strength well and ascribes his
long Jlfo to bis custom of eating four
meals a day. ,
An American -visitor In Montreal re
cently saw a squad of boys, whose ages
ranged from to 9, being drilled by two
little glrla of corresponding age. Upon
Inquiry one Of the drill sergeants ex
plained that her father said tha war
might last twenty years, vand then these
boys might fight for tha Union Jack
while their fathers came home to rest.
DOMESTIC FLEiSANTBlES.
"There re women on the Jury."
"They ought to favor a woman defend
ant." "We shall have to be exceedingly care
ful. I don't think It would be rood pulirv
for our fair client to dresa better than
they do." Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Plr. .your daughter has promised to,
become mv wile."
"Well, don't come to me for sympathy;
you might know something would happen
ta you, hanging around her five nights
a week. Houston Post. '
Fred My dear Dora, let this thourht
console you, for your lover's death, lie.
number that other and better men than
be have gone the same war.
Bereaved One Thev haven't sJl gone,
have they? New York Sun.
"I understand yon had a good time at
tho party last night."
"1 siiould say sol I Was simply carried
away."
"to I was told. In the patrol wagon."
Baltimore American.
"Hello, Blank! Where are you going In
such a hurry?"
"To the iKwtofflce to put up a ktck
about the wretche delivery service." ,
"What's tha trouble?"
"Why, that check you promised to aend
me ten days aao hasn't reached me yet."
Boston TranAcrlpt.
THE MODERN SAINT.
Note While these lines are written In
tho first person, they must not be un
derstood as describing tha writer, but
rather aa descriptive of the modern type
of sainthood as contrasted with the
medieval.
No "lean and hungry look" for me.
No "dim religious light;"
I need sufficient light to see.
1 have an appetite.
The saints of old. In cloistered pen,
Forswore the world's demands;
I mix among the sons ef men.
And shake their good right hands
No dreamy eyes, no drooping chin,
No concave front, I ken;
My head Is round, not long and thin,
I weigh two hundred ten.
I love to work as men should work,
And love no Jena to play;
1 m ready for the quiet kirk,
I'm ready for the fray.
My calling from beyond the skies,
To further God's great plan.
Ne'er contravenes, nor nullifies
My duty as a man,
I love all men the human race '
I owe them my good will;
And those redeemed by heavenly giare,
I love them better still.
Come Join with me, ye heirs of grace.
Released from "durance vile,"
Relieve that long and solemn face.
And meet me with a smile.
A. MURHMAN.
Presbyterian Manse, Valley, Nab.
TABLOIDS OF SCIENCE.
Pines are believed to live the longest
of all trees, some having attained more '
than 700 years.
In China sn oil well has been' drilled
to a depth of 3,600 feet with the most
primitive native tools.
According to sn English sclentui 'the
light of the sun exerts a pressure of 70,
Ooc tons on the earth.
The matching of colors haa been
brought down to an exact science by the
Invontlon of a machine for the purpose.
v Motion picture makera in Europe start
Alpine avalanches which they wish to
photograph by exploding mloes In the
snow by electricity.
An American expert has been engaged
by the Australian state of Victoria to
reopen a long closed factory and revive
the beet sugar Industry.
For the use of n&turallats there has
been Invented a can containing a com
pass, double lens, thermometer, sand
glass and bottle to hold flowers or In
sects. '
, Italian testa of plowing with electric
motors demonstrated that it coat about
half aa much as If horses had been used
and about two-thirds as much a's steam
plowing.
A fuel economy of more than 13 per
cent haa been attained by a French de
vice for heating th water before it Is
Introduced into a locomotive boiler 1y ex
haust stcsm. - i '
Vkinna scientists in testing tha effect
on the human system of food plants con
taining Iron have succeeded In maklns
several vegetables absorb more Iron from
th soil than normally?
Plan 'a Trip
This Winter
The
ILLINOIS
CENTRAL
. .
' OFFERS ..
INTERESTING RATES
' . . FOR
, WINTER TRIPS
" TO ' i
NEW ORLEANS, La. '
FLORIDA POINTS
VI0KSBURO, MISS.
CUBA AND PANAMA
If you have not decided Just
where to go ask for a copy
of our
WINTER EXCURSION
FARES BOOKLET
Let the Illinois Central plan
your trip- Address the under
signed, stating where yon wish
to go, and Information as to
fares and attractive literature
will be freely furnished.
S. NORTH,
District Passenger Agent,
407 South IU Street,
Omaha.
Fhone Douglas 264.
2 i
YM
jffl
Rauch & Lang silence
A vital point in th Ranch A Lnng Strnight-Type,
'Top-Moanted, Worm Drict U iiltnct.
Springt of greater Rtxihility art pouiblt a it A this
new typt f pnoulsion. Crtattr comfort, results
riding shocks and jars eliminated.
. Add to this, a hody of magnificent proportions, rich'
simple, dignified. Logical reasons uky the Rauch dTt
Lang maintains its high place as Society's chosen car.
We will gladly demonstrate.
I
mi
W7 ELECTRIC GARAGE COMPANY MM
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