4
THE ttHK: OMAHA. MONDAY, DECEMBER 14, 1014.
THE -OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSEWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
Tli IW ruMUhlnr Company, Proprietor.
rr.B building, fXrnam and "evknteenth.
F.ntred at Omaha postofftc aa second-class matter.
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livening an.1 Sunday n no
Kvenlng without Sunday &o 4.00
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lparunent.
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enunts. I'erennal checks, except oa Omaha and faalarn
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OFFICES.
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Address communications relating to news and edi
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NOVKMrjER CIRCULATION.
52,531
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, an.
Dwight Williams, circulation manager of Tlie Bee
Publishing company, being duly sworn, aaya that
the average dally circulation for tha month of No
vember, 1I4, waa r. 2, j 3 1 .
PWIOHT WILIAMR, Circulation Manaser.
8uhcrlHed In my presence and aworn to before
ma, thla 7th day of Tecemher, 1914.
IIOHF.KT HUNTER, I otary Public
Subscribers leaving ttva city (Mnporartly
snould have Tno lice mailed to tbem. Ad
drews will be chnnged aa often aa requested.
Count off tha days till Christmas and then
hop early.
I
No trouble to get that Federal league to
hep early.
Old Man Winter wants everyone to know that
he la till on the Job,
Now they are trying to mine and undermine
that Rockefeller Foundation.
Yea, but should an embargo on mllitarjr
equipment inolude barb wire?
Andrew Carnegie Is for peace, but it must
last longer than the Tuletlde holidays.
Candy Is said to cost twice as much as medi
cine. And It tastes four times as good.
Grand opera at popular prices can be made
to pay out in Omaha. Let no on again ques
tion It.
I3y the way, the return of Polar region tem
perature reminds us has anybody here seen
old Doc Cook?
If all the clocks were really to be moved up
an hour some of those night-owls would never
see any reason to turn in.
' I
Congressman Gardner seems to have cooled
down a little, although the European' distur
bance continues unabated.
But a Gypsy ran always see the "main
chance" through the glamor of romance about
him, no matter how thick the glamor.
Whenever a disarmament agreement eventu
ates Uncle 6am wll gladly contermand his order
with the gunmakers and the warship builders.
Secretary McAdoo, who says politics played
no part In forming the regional bank districts,
may be known as the Joker In the cabinet dock.
It is not stated yet how many iron crosses
and legion of honor ribbons have been awarded,
to the brave heroes in charge of the several of
ficial war Intelligence bureaux.
Y, and when it comes to Nebraska war
riors to match Fred Funstoo. and other Kansas
belligerents, do not overlook that ceaseless bat
tler for the downtrodden, the Hon. Jerry
Howard.
4 That raid of German submarines upon the
Dover harbor drawing a half hour's action from
the defense batteries, reads something like the
old-tlxue stories of the firing off the Windward
passage.
- A good deal is being made of Msyor Carter
H. Harrison's delegating to huj wife the decis
ion as to whether he shall run for re-election.
But some wives decide more than that for their
husbands.
Signs of the times indicate that some of the
world's greatest newspapers thst had followed
after strange third party gods, are making duck
tracks bsck to the coop about as fast as their
web feet will let them.
The late Joseph Smith, head of the Latter
Day Saints, named his son as his successor sev
eral years ago. It was by revelation and, of
course, It Just happened tbst the vtslon selected
the son Instead of someone outside of the
family.
S I W. J ... m M
i La r m -i.'4.4T7i..t-iSiS:
Alttlon la under way for Om.ba to bo attar tha
Nation of tha Grand Army of tha Kepubllo reunion.
m..ng the advantage emphasised are tha two Orand
Army poita and tha regulars at Fort Omaha, wh
i'1'i'tit help out oa parade.
The Ucrman theater performance waa a rendition
if "The Light l'crnon," which elicited an appceclatlva
!' rptUiii.
Thomas Bouts of tha firm of Sherman Broe.. tha
lot Mug merchant on Farnma street, la happy evar
the advent of a li'ftu son.
J K. McCray & Co.. formerly of Minnesota, have
-n uj a new fluuiina- mill, and put out a product
knuMn aa "I'uion t'aclflc" flour.
U 11. Koity of tha A. P. T. company, gave a dinner
to the twnty-even n.efiiger boye In their employ
al in I.utluian iliunh luat evening-.
The- put I v will clue fur tha holidays on
1 lay b-fi:c rhrlmmaa, ahkh (untci on Thursday.
II A. l!i n un. SI'I South. Thlrteonth, I tiylng to
r .iwr !t bluck and whlta setter dog. for whicn
if i'tilKi i rmirl ,
JJaval Valne of the Canal.
Secretary Daniels seeks to ease apprehen
sions over inadequate Pacific coant defences by
declaring that in an emergency the Atlantic
fleet could be dispatched to the Pacific within
eighteen days to deal with any hostile craft in
those waters. Pondering this sugsents some
thing of the naval value of the Panama canal
to the United States. Incidentally, without the
canal at such a time as the present, what would
not be said of the necessity for an exclusive Pa
cific fleet?
The canal was built, It is true, for the bene
fit of world commerce, but let us not forget that
it waa built also, as a means of providing better
naval defenses for this country. This point wss
stated by Colonel George W. Ooethals, as chair
man and chief engineer of the canal commission
in a 1911 report to the secretary of war la
these words:
Asaumln that the canal Is being built for the
benefit of the commerce of the world. It la neverthe
leaa a military asset tc th I'nlted States, and condi
tions may arise In which the military netvssltiea of
the nation will become paramount. In other words,
whlla daring certain perloda the operation of tho
canal la for commercial purposes, entirely separata
and distinct rom the military, there are times when
the military necessities must predominate.
It is a fact, as Secretary Daniels points out,
that one of th objects in constructing this
canal wag to make It possible for one fleet to
defend both the Atlantic and Pacific coasts, so
that if such a thing be now advocated It need
not be thought new or strange. With proper
fortifications, the canal's chief military service
probably would He In its facilitating ths trans
fer of ships, on short notice., As our nation
aspires to military and naval efficiency only for
purposes of self-defense, those who sre now at
templng agitation for a separate Pacific fleet,
would seem to be vainly beating the "ambient
air.".
The Sale of Arms
Moving Up the Tims Clock.
Those of us who thought our clocks and
watches were set for all the days to come when
th system of so-called stsndard time was
adopted evidently have another guess, for here
la an agitation actually broken out for pushing
the bands up another hour for the purpose, so
we are told, of giving ourselves an extra hour
of daylight to work by each day. Most of us
labor under the delusion that if we keep re
setting our clocks, we land In the same place by
finding the daylight hours stationery and only
ourselves moving. Yet the champions of this
proposal who are located in Chicago where
else would they be expected to be located
argue that by forcing ourselves to get up and
to start to work an hour earlier, we would bring
another hour of daylight into th end of the
day, with untold benefits to the health and hap
piness of all mankind.
The only visible drawback to this little
scheme Is that it also brings one more hour of
darkness Into the beginning of the day, but of
course that doesn't 'count. - Neither do 'the
clock-changing time-servers give any considera
tion whatever to Old Sol, who at least might
wish to be consulted, or to th tact that he now
arrives in Chicago a, half hour ahead of his ar
rival In Omaha, so that to put Omaha on a'par
with Chicago we would have to push up th
hands here, not an hour, but an hour and a half.
Th natural normal move to make to get right
with daylight would be to go back to good old
sun tlm. which means a different time clock In
every town, and who wants that?
Oar Waiting-ton Correspondent Honored.
As tha Gridiron club at Washington la th
moit famous club of working newspaper men in
the world., so th privilege of serving as the
official head of that organization, at whose
dinners all th most conspicuous public men
are entertained, la more than the ordinary
honor. The Bee believes all our readers Join
with us in extending congratulations to our
Washington correspondent, Edgar C. Bnyder,
upon his election president of the Gridiron
club for the ensuing year. We may also b par
doned In calling attention to the fact that Th
Be has sent two. members of Its staff to repre
sent us at th national capital who hav been
elevated to this posttlon, th first th lat
William E. Annln, who after a period of yeara
is now succeeded by Mr. Bnyder, both deservedly
popular among their assoclatee and among all
with whom th newspaper men at Washington
com Into contact.
Where It Pyi to Be Good.
1 am taking the liberty of cominlaalonlng Ewlng
C Bland aa marahal of tha western district I want
you to know I am doing ao with warm affection for
yourealf and tha eonfldont hope that you will un
deretand. Woodrow Wilson.
- This Httl telegram vas delivered to Senator
Stone of Missouri on a train at Cincinnati. It
simply mesns another executive attempt to
knock 8enotor Reed of Missouri Into a knocked
hat. 8enator Reed, it will be recalled, has be
"fernlnst" th administration on about very
possible occasion. This Is th second server pen
alty Imposed upon him for his recalcitrance
within the last week or so. Th other was the
appointment of a dark-hors man as postmaster
at Kansas City, when Reed had. urged former
Congressman Cowherd.
But thla man Bland, a son of th 1st fa
mous "SI'ver Dick." was not an aspirant for th
United States marnhalshlp and knew nothing of
the use of his name In this connection until
asked over the long-distance telephone from
Washington if he would accept the office If ten
dered. Despite the shock, he recovered in time
to say be would, although he had been quit
content with his position of municipal Judge. It
seems, however, that while Senator Reed was
urging another and Senator Stone had no
candidate, Congressman Borland had suggested
Judge Bland and put it across over Senator
Reed.
The episode only Illustrates what a lot of
unsparing use of the rod la required to keep
from spoiling this disobedient Missouri senator.
All of which reminds us of the alniilar plight of
a democratic senator from Nebraska, and also
of those half-starved, but tireless, Nebraska
home folks still standing In front of the demo
cratic p'.e counter.
Moral: It puya to be good and to "under
stand," as the aenteutioua little telegram suggests
prtsuyflalg laCaae.) mevabueta ").
There I a certain plausibility In the position
taken by Rrnator Hitchcock of Nebraska, wno has
Introduced a bill forbidding the shipment from the
I'nlted States of arms Or ammunition to be used
against countries with which thla nation Is at peace.
He says:
"Our nation stands for peace, and It seems to tie
outrsgeoua that w should be running our powder
factories and our gun works night and day to furnish
means for carrying on the present war. Those who
are making money out of this traffic will, of course,
object to thla bill, but no one else ought to. Two years
agi wa authorised the president to prohibit the ex
portation of arms and ammunition to Mexico because
wa did not feel that thla country should help to con
tinue the war there. Aa a matter of fact our govern
ment owns at the present time more than 300.000 Krag
Jorgenson rifles, better than some of the arms now
possessed by European nations. We have dlcarded
them because the army has a better weapon. Several
of the European natlona would like to buy them, and
undoubtedly Uncle Ham could get a handsome figure
for them and the treasury of the United Statea wculd
be very much benefited. But no one would propose
such an outrareoUa breach of the laws of neutrality
for tho benefit of tha whole people of the United
States, My bill propoeea to carry thla law of neutral
ity a little further and to forbid to individuals that
which Is slready unlawful for the government"
If such a measure would Indeed make for peac.
It would deserve the heartiest support. But would It?
Ijpt us consider the effect of a general practice of
forbidding the sale of arma to countries at war. Is
It not obvious that tha tendency of euch a rule woul I
lie to put an enormous premium on great armamentaT
Ifow could the moat pacific nation take tha first step
toward the reduction of outlay for weapons If It
knew that after the outbreak of war It could purchase
no more munitions of war? ,
If auch a rule were general, and the most mill
tarlstlo atates would be only too glad to help the
United States make it so, any aggressive power would
have at Its merry a Icks. well-prepared power which It
proposed to attack. Without plenty of muskets, cart
ridges, cannon, supplies of all kinds, a prolonged re
slstsnce would be Impossible. Tha only hope of a
nonmllltarlstlo state thus taken at a disadvantage
lies In quickly purchasing abroad at any cost the
supplies necessary to arm Its reserves. The abroga
tion of this well established privilege would be a meas
ure not In behalf of peace, but a - measure to
strengthen the most warlike statea in a program if
conquest. It will seldom happen thst the state which
has brought on a war will need to purchase abroad;
its purchases will have been made before tha out
break of the war for whloh It has secretly prepared
and for which It has chosen the moment If the sale
of the munitions of war la to be forbidden, let It
rather be In time of peace, for It is then that the
agents of bellicose powers are abroad laying In sup
plies for the coming coup. To forbid such a sale
after war has begun Is hot to favor peace, but to
play directly Into the nanda of those warlike nations
which ro armed to the teeth.
What could well be more to the taste of the huge
International Interests which deal In arms than a
proposal of this sort? It would mean that every na
tion must at every Instant be armed for any conceiv
able contingency, thit there must be a gun for evry
man and ammunition enough for p. war of any dura
tion. Just one country In the world has been armed
to that point: Germany alone was ready when the
hour struck. Yet such a standard of readiness, so
far as the vast accumulation of arma and ammuni
tion la concerned, would be forced upon every nation
If Senator Hitchcock's theories were carried Into gen
eral effect. In such a matter It la Impossible to bo
neutral. To refuse to sell arma favors the most
heavily armed belligerent; to aell arma favors every
state which dares to take a atep toward disarmament.
Tet though In almost every caae one side must be
favored, that ts In the very nature of things and
gives no cause for complaint, provided a consistent
rule is followed,
' Can we ask on which side the Influence of the
United Statea should be cast? The principle laid down
by Senator Hitchcock would favor not peace but
Krupptsm. So far from being a rebuke to war, It
would be a rebuke to tha nation wnton had not pre
pared for war. And under certain conditions It mlgbt
be like refusing to lend a weapon to a peaceful man
beset by thieves. Let us not be deceived by superfi
cial aspects; In the long run It will not be the war
seeking nations which need t(j buy arms abroad
after the guns have begun to shoot
Twice Told Tales
Wits the Yeatat Koa.
"Yea," aaid tha ancient mariner, waving his long
clay pipe In the air as he sat in the Inglenook of
tha Vampire Inn, "It waa the atrangeat intervention
o' providence and natural law aa I've evar experi
enced. Three days and nights on end wa had worked
at tha pumps, and the ship waa getting lower In the
water every hour. Then, we know nut why, the
pumps became dry. Nd water came, work as we
might Tha crew stopped and looked at each other
aghast. But as for the ship. It began to ateady Itself,
and then gradually rose in the water till ita water
line was two feet above the surface. At last a gi
gantic wave came and It aalted on tha top of It clew
over the reef and landed high up theaandy beach.
We were saved!"
He paused and then continued:
"How it happened? we had a cargo of yeast
aboard, and when the water reached it It ris and
rts, and". The reat was lost in the applause of
the company assembled London Tit-Bits.
tat'i.wir,
Mrs. Kllgore was the pretty young wife of tha
elderly vlllaaa pastor. One day aha went Into ths city
with a friend, and among other things bought a new
frock,
"Another frock, my dear?" said her husband. "Lid
you need another?"
"Yes." said tha wife, hesitatingly. "I do need It:
and. besides, It was ro pretty that tha devil tempted
me.'
"But you should have aaid. 'Oct thee behind me.
satan.' Have you forgotten that?"
"Oh, no; but that waa what made tha trouble,
hubby dear. I aaid, tiet thee behind me, satan,' and
he did, but he whispered over my shoulder, 'It Just
fits you beautifully In tha back!' And I Just had to
take It then." Harper's Magastne.
People and Events
Ten thousand tailors who are on a strike In New
York are getting a rest by standing up tor moro
Pay.
A mines pie aent by parcel post from Portland,
Ore., reached Mulvane, Kan., "without ao much as
a crack In tha crust." Why look further for battle
ship armor?
Once more the courts score heavily In tha full
of domestic peace. Judge Sullivan of Chicago the
other day settled a ruction between a man and hie
wife by naming the baby.
Count Tolstoi's secretary saya that the great
writer's library numbered 10,000 volumes In thirty
two languages. There were almost aa many books
in English 'aa la Russian 1.415 against 16U6.
Envious people who contend that a college edu
cation la not worth while are handed a solar plexus
by the Kaunas commissioner of labor. Tha commis
sioner reports that "college students are tha mint
efficient and dependable harvest hands."
An organisation to combat militarism In this
country is to be launched In New York on the ISth.
Bishop David II. Orecr of the New York diocese uf
the Protestant Eplcoil church, and President Nicho
las Murray Butler of Columbia snlverstty, head the
list of names attached to tha launching ralL
Tha thoughtfulness of the weather man In giving
the Christmas Season Ha proper color ts a trltxite
j to his artistic ability. Indeed, the brand of w?athcr
put out in ine corn ult ulitte King Ak-Bar-Ben rv
tlrcd to hW caailrt evidence the matter hand guided
by genial good will. More power to his elbow!
Editorial Shrapnel
Pt. Louis Olohe-Detnocrat: Nearly all
of the commanders engaged In the present
wsr have, had extensive Instruction In
vacating positions and reforming llnea.
Baltimore American: It la not easy to
say Just at present who Is the villain In
the Mexican drama. Two letters would
transform General Villa. Into a general
villain, but what's In a name? We shall
Just have to watch and wait a little while
longer.
Pt. Louis Kcpubilc: An Arksneas Judge
remarks that humnn life in the United
PtatMi Is cheaper than hogs and seems
to be astonlshel by the discovery.
Philosophers noted similar facta long
ago and pointed out that there is money
In raising lite stock.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: Italy as a neutral
state can buy all the hydro-aeroplanea It
wanta and no questions asked. But aa
belligerents can do the same thing, aub
Ject to the risks of taking them to the
acene of conflict, that advantage of neu
trality is not so very marked.
Pittsburgh Dlspstch: Holland declines
assistance In caring for the hundreds of
thousands of Belgian refugeee there.
Which allows ua to recognise thst there
U one European country that doea not
reply on the United Statea to help It out
of a tight place. It Is a small country In
slse, but It make, up for that In pluck.
Philadelphia Ledger: Every one of the
stranded Americana who were helped out
in Europe by government or other
agencies last summer, with a single ex
ception, has paid the loan; and the ex
ception has given an explanation of the
delay. Thla is remarkable testimony to
the essential honesty of the American
people.
New York World: Dedicated as he Is
to noble deeds, we are sure that Secre
tary Daniels will do his full duty In
squelching both unneutral and contraband
music In the sea service of the United
States. Nor can we believe that it will
prove a difficult Job. Why should a navy
that has Josephus Daniels for a secretary
want to alng?
Cleveland Plain Dealer: The French
government at Bordeaux is preparing to
move back to Paris, while the Servian
government at Nish is preparing to move
still further away from Belgrade; in
dicating the difference between being a
big nation and a little nation in time
of war. But Servla will still have the
advantage of Belgium. She will not for
some time be compelled to move Its capi
tal across the border.
New York World: For the United
States army next year $104,124,111 is asked.
This Is 120,000,000 more than the Austro
Hunffarlan army estimates for 1918-14., The
high cost of our army, and in less degree
the British, Is due to the pay of soldiers.
Where universal service exists, the years
spent with the colors are part of tho
subject's duty, and the pay is nominal.
Parents and families bear the cost. Even
in peace, militarism costs more than ths
official figures indicate.
)
Women's Activities
Cora Brown, aged 14, of Atlanta, Oa.,
raised on one-tenth of an acre 8,290 pounds
of tomatoes and cleared I1S1. She put up
1,118 three-pound cans, sold IS3.S1 worth of
fresh tomatoes and made twenty-five
gallons of catsup.
Selma Parker, aged 23, saw her first
snow In Orand Forks, N. D., recently.
Miss Parker declared her only real
ambition 'a to send a sample of American
snow to Tssmanja, an Island near South
Australia, her home, for the edification of
her friends.
Miss Lillian Scott has been elected presW
dent of the Kansas St&te Teachers' as
sociation. This is the first time In the
flftv.two veara of ita existence that a
woman has been chosen to Uila position.
Women in the rural schools or Kansas
are not allowed to work formless than M
a month. x'
Over a year ago Miss Minna Wedcklnd
was appointed a letter carrier by the
German poatal authorities. She waa the
first woman to receive suoh an office.
Now, owing to the success she has had
in her work, the government la appoint
ing hundreds of women to similar posi
tions, thereby releasing that many men
for the army.
Mrs. Roalka Schwlmmer of Hungary,
who la In thla country, says that the col
lege women of Oallclt are fleeing Into
Austrla-Hur.gary, much aa the peasants
of Belgium are going Into Holland. It Is
no unusual eight, she aays, to see a college-bred
woman sitting on the roadside,
knitting a shirt for the eoldlers, for which
she Is paid S cents.
Mrs. Harry Raacover of Lawrence, L.
I., gava two of her favorite servants such
a Joyoua wedding that they vowed to
return to her home immediately after
their honeymoon and to'aaaume their
household duties. Mrs. Rascover took the
pair in her limousine to the efflca of the
Justice of the peace and acted as matron
of honor at the ceremony. Then she drove
tha pair back to her home where she
had a wedding breakfast served. She
insisted upon waiting on tha guests and
placed her car at the disposal of the
r.ewlyweda.
Out of the Ordinary
Beggars In Turkey have established a
trad union with 10,000 members.
The Eskimo pays his doctor fee ss aoon
as ha' arrives. If the patient recovers it
la kept. If not It Is returned.
The shark holds the record for long
distance swimming. One has been known
to cover S00 miles In three days.
3. B. Reed of Ithaca asserts he has
trained his rabbits to dig up and eat all
the weeda In his garden without damag
ing valuable plants.
Ell Shepherd, aged 80, of Tilton, 111.. .Is
the only survivor of the fifteen soldiers
detailed In April, 163, to guard the body
of Lincoln In Washington.
English society women have established
an Institution In which nurses get three
yeara of training In the car of dogs and
other pels.
A French landowner who baa Just com
mitted suicide left a curious letter, In
Which ha expressed the wish that there
would be no "black beetles" (French
slang for mourners) at his funeral.
Miss Olivia P. Tescott of Espy, Pa., is
believed to .be the only bride In America
who had her weddJug cake made entirely
of ostrich eggs. It waa given ber by the
employes of an ostrich train in Bloom
burg, Pa.
When th leauVr of a coyote pack was
killed recently In SUgo. Colo., It was found
to be a shepherd collie dog with a brass
collar about it neck. This explain
partly tha boldnes of the pack, which
bad often coino up Into the very yards of
th settlers. '
Political Pointors
Having spent tVO In his campaign for
United states senator In Pennsylvania,
Glfford Plnchot announces that he will
establish a permanent residence In the
state. The price paid Is sufficient.
Th greatest exhibition of municipal
economy the year has produced la scored
In Pittsburgh. Nln councilman have
voted to cut their salaries from !,500 to
$.",500 a year.
Two thousand admirers have petitioned
Mayor Harrison to run again for mayor
of Chicago. The mayor Is finishing his
fifth term, and running for the Job Is
much of a fixed habit He Is willing, but
defers a final answer.
"A possible president of the United
States" Is the greeting given Mvror. T.
Merrick by the Chicago Herald. The re
nted ambassador to Franc js hailed as
a republican standard bearer and healer
of party divisions.
Commission city government Is not re
garded aa a thing of beauty for taxpay
ers In Denver. An Investigation by a
committee of the Chamber of Commerce
ehowa glaring extravagance In all five
departments of the government.
The cost of putting a law on the statute
books amounts to $r2.25 In New York
stat. $42.7i Illinois. $M9.J In Ohio and
$U7.21 In West Virginia. The author of
these statistics has not yet explored the
cost records of Nebraska legislation
The annual feast of the "Amen Corner"
patriots of New York City this year has
been shot to pieces by the wsr, and Is de
ferred until more peaceful times Justifies
burning a $10 bill for a blowout. It should
be known that the Ameners are not mis
sionaries on a vacation or boosters of the
spiritual life. They are relicts of the
days of the "easy boss." Senator Tom
Piatt, and drew their title from their
readlnesa to say "amen" when Piatt ar
ticulated. Out of the far west comes th! report
that Governor Hiram Johnson and
Francis J. Hcney are approachlng-a
state of progressive war. California
turned down Heney as a candidate for
United States senator, while Johnson on
the Same ticket was re-elected governor
with a whoop. Heney euspeota that
Johnson double-crossed him In order to
clear the way for his (Johnson's) senator
ial future, and is searching for proof of
the deadly frame-up.
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.
"I can prove that this prisoner never,
ss charged, clearly uttervd these forged
ho0"
"What Is your prnc.fr
"He stutters." Bnltltrore American.
Tarke isn't Petcrkln very religious?
lne Oh, ye. I hear he goee to chtwch
every month or so. l-i ltre. .
"What sort of a f.-llow la he?"
"A trouble-maker."
"He seems peaceful enough. "
"I know: hut he a the sort of a blund
ering rhap that denies al! the lies you've
told your wife." Detroit Free Press.
"Yes, Horry writes very good letters
from colletre. They show a strong thirst
for knowledge. He never writes without
asking for Information."
"That's fine. What does he askT'
"He always ssks. 'When are you rolng
to send me some more money?' "Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
"Do you see that girl In the third row
of the chorus?"
"Yes; why?"
"She promised her mother she'd never
be an actress."
"Well?"
"lhe Isn't" Philadelphia Ledger. ,
"There's nothing artificial about Mrs
Wlgga."
"No, Indeed. Phe doesn't even make up
her mind." Buffalo Express.
Mrs. Brown wss In the kitchen helping
Nora, the cook, prepare supper.
"It's an old saying," she remarked to
Nora, "that 'too many cooks spoil the
broth,' what do you think?"
"Sure, mam." she replied, "there's noth
ing to worry about there's only wan
ook here." National Monthly.
KNIGHTHOOD UP TO DATE.
The valorous knights of olden time
Were courteous, constant, brave and
true:
They suffered discomforts manifold
In search of merciful deeds to do:
And we still hav knights on earth today,
Tho' In numbers not like the grains
of sand;
They are the men who cannot sit
In a crowded car while women stand.
The chivalrous knight of long sgx
Was pledged to protect all womankind;
His aim in life was to lessen grief
And do all the good deeds he could find;
But we have a knight In this day and age
Whose chivalrous spirit should inspire;
He Is the man who cannot aleep
While his wife gets up and starts the
fire. i
No, the knightly species Is not extinct
There are sundry sparks still kept
aglow, v
They have been transmitted from soul
to soul, .
Tho' pessimists may deny 'tis so;
Men may aS a whole bo the weaker aex,
But, tho" you may hav far to roam,
You'll find a lew men who will not allow
Their wives, to help finance the home.
Omaha. BAYOLL NE TRELE.
The Gift That Means
A Joy Forever
'A thing of beauty i$ a joy forever"
o give as a Yuletide gift a grace
ful, lovely Electric Lamp is the height of
thourhtfulness and good taste thoughtfulness for
its brilliant, efficient light makes it a practical gift
which saves the eyes and cheers the home tRe
gift of good taste because its rare decorative charm
fends distinction to any room.
Electric Lamps
are indeed the gift ideal-.-a perfect
blending of beauty and utility. The prices
vary to fit every purse and they are to be had in
many styles and sizes.
Omaha Electric Light
and Power Co.
m
r-f --Junii;. temperature all winter
PASS CHRISTIAN : BH.OX GULFPORT
s;tOCEAN SPRINGS . BAY ST. LOUIS .-
'PtiNSACOLA NEW ORLEANS '.. MOBILE'
sVtte r mere Interesting lesallty a be feund la whisk
:' winter vaaatUn. There are many geeS hats Is shirt assent..'
r,wStlns sn b uad meet all ry Irementsi ratss ae reaiea.
table yOelflna, Besting, athlng. Sheeting anS fishing. Msgnlfln
r shall reads. TarMghut th winter flewer klm In th temasra
ftwt;tt Jsa Lew retinS trie far..;
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GEO. E. HERRINGKP A V
311 H. Ith St. 'yV:l.L:0is,i:MO:
