1'Hr, OMAHA SUNDAY WYA.: NuVKMIiKli V T.M4.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE
FOUNDED DY EDWARD ROSEWATEK.
VICTOR KOSKWATER, EDITOR.
The Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
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CORRESPONDENCE .
Address communlcatlona Matin to news and edi
torial matter to .Omaha Bee, Editorial Lxpartfntnt.
OCTOllKR KtXDAY CHtCl LATIOV.
44,684
Slate of Nebraska. County of Douglas. a.
Iwiht Williams, circulation manager of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly sworn, eaya that
the average Sunday circulation for the month of
October. 1314. waa 44,6X4.
DW1UHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager,
gubserlbrd In my presence and aworn to before
me, thla th day of November, 1014.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public
Subscribers lea ring the City temporarily
should have The lie mailed to them. Ad
dress will be changed at often as requested.
The Christmas ship is scheduled to "all this
week.
Told you all the landslides were not In the
Panama canal.
Anyway, the peace palace at The Hague still
remains Intact.
Old Man Winter Is enlisted as an ally of the
armies qn both sides.
With Turkey In the fight, the Black Sea may
yet become the Red Sea.
The election of Arthur Capper for governor
caps the climax for Kansas.
This Is the time when the early Christmas
shopper has It all his own way.
"A Wilson Triumph." Baltimore Bun.
Some headline writer, that.
Rather looks as if Nebraska were la for a
prohibition campaign next, time.
Put It down that the man who tells you he
forgets his age is older, than. ha looks.
Turkey might try to clamp; that Ootch toe
hold n' the'Tluistan to offset his sear hug.
The 'housewife who put up , her fly rwatter
la October was about a month too progressive.
! i
Another drop in sugar prices suggests that
a bit of sweetness may be found in the bitterest
cup. ' . ' ' ' ,
.The. German nary has not had so much to
do, but at that has a pretty good account to give
of Itself. 4
It would seem that .the suffrage, women did
, not quite succeed In "showing" those Mis-ourlans.
i No, gentle reader, the foot and mouth dis
ease Is a cattle plague, and not a pest of political
wind-jammers.
i; The proposed Fort Kearney armory at Ne
braska City teems to be the first sacrifice to the
peace movement.
Once it becomes certain that St. Louis' free
bridge is a go, then we shall know verily that
wthe world do move."
That bright, shiny object you see appearing
above the ruins of democrats defeat is the full
'dinner pail, rising like a Phoenix out of the tire.
Widows' weeds are in great demand wlta
European dressmakers and milliners which re
minds us again of our barbarous mourning cus
Mr. Bryan has graciously presented his own
State with silver plowshare made of discarded
words as an emblem of peace. But it must be
understood that its symbolism has no reference
to democratic factional politics.
" . .. -
, Looking at that South Omaha vote. Con
gressman Lobeck's failure to comply with the
demands of the plotters for the separation of
the South Omaha and Omaha post offices must
Lave helped instead jot hurt him.
-ft&r , , " -y
'Mil rmoM tA V4.4-
:, The Young Men's Christian aasoclaUoa conference
established a new state committee, of which the Omaha
tnembers follow: Laavttt Burnham, J. L. Kennedy,
leorge A. Joelta, Dr. P. . LeUenrlng. General O. O.
Howard. Rev. J. 8. Detwellsr. Dr. O. 6. Wood, c. F.
Harrison.
! A call la out fur a Cleveland and Hendricks ratify
fattoa meetlnc at Buyd's Monday ever tbes signa
tures: jhmi as. uoya, memoer national commlttea;
laraea Crelghton, chairman Cleveland and Hendricks
club; J. J. O'Connor, chairman executive committee,'
Warren Swttaler, secretary; James M. Woolworth and
A. 1. Popple ton. -
Indian summer la .here without a doubt. The air
jusi coui mourn to be bracing, and , Just war
tnough that heavy wraps are not neteery.
Major and Mr, J. W. Paddock are again In Oruah
-taxing meir neaaquane . at the iaxton.
; Robert Hesson. of the firm of Paxton A Oallash
tri tor a lure months' trip to hla old home In B
ana, taxing ma wire and three children with him.
A Ursa fore of men are at work rebuilding-ieUJUry.
'a.
oot-
the
No Farm Shut Down by the War.
Above all the military turmoil abroad and all
the Industrial disturbance at home, one thing
Mends out strong and plain, yet calls for re
newed emphasis that no American farm has
been shut down, and no American fsrmer la out
of work because of the war in Europe.
Disease may Infest the cattle, or the hens may
refuse to lay, or the farmer may have his other
troubles, but they are insignificant beside the
great centrsl fact that the productivity of the
farm remains unimpaired through war and mora
toriums, and that the product of the farm is con
vertible In the markets every day In the year
Into gold of into any article of commerce the
farmer may desire.
In an agricultural state like Nebraska, the
center of the richest corn and wheat belt in the
world, this salient truth deserves more than a
passing thought. It is the tower of strength
that gives the people of this territory, whether
in the city or on the farm, the right to self-confidence
and complete reassurance.
No farm shut down, no farmer out of work,
no market for farm products closed, no collapse
In prices which our farm products command
this la what gives America its Impregnable
vantsge point right now which it will hold long
after world peace Is restored.
Pot-Election Philosophy.
Gee! Rut I'm a lucky pruy! I earn very near
being elected elate aenator last Tuesday. FYank A.
Kennedy In hla Western Laborer.
There's election philosophy for you. If all
the candidates who failed to land would look
defeat squarely in the face and come to a
strictly unbiased Judgment, nine out of ten of
them would be compelled to feel the same way.
The fellow who escaped being elected Is often
the fellow who most deserves the congratula
tions of those who wish him well.
The Ex-Convict
Al Jennings, former bandit and late denio-
cratlo candidate for governor of Oklahoma,
author of magazine stories and moving picture
hero, complains of the general lot of the ex-
convict, protesting that he does not get as fair
a chance from society as he deserves. "After a
man has paid his debt and the law has been
vindicated by his punishment," says Jennings,
"he should have a chance In the world."
While many folks will doubtless Incline to
the belief that for one, Mr. Jennings Is being
given a rather fair chance, there Is seriously no
denying the truth of what he says as to the
treatment of ex-convicts in general. Society,
as a whole, betrays a wrong and grossly un
fair uttltude toward the man who has com
plied with the law's demands in expiating his
crime. Society is about as far wrong In this
as la the system of government and manage
ment of the average penitentiary, archaic to the
last degree.
The law presumes every man accused of
crime and arraigned for trial Innocent until
proven guilty, but after the man is convicted,
serves his sentence and returns to take up his
place again in the world, he usually finds that
society baa ravened thla legal presumption and
bold? him at arm's length until he can manage,
under desperate odds, to rise again. And only
the very fittest rise, or survive the test. If so
ciety is right In thla attitude, then ita whole
theory of penal correction is worse than wrong
and should be abolished. But, as we have inti
mated, this theory is lived up to only in excep
tional cases, which affords ground for the com
mon charge that many men emerge from the
prisons worse characters than when they went
into them. The state Is supposed to take its
brand of felony oft the unfortunate when he
leaves the prison and aoclety has no right to
keep putting It back on a law-abiding citizen.
Ridiculous.
The Lincoln Star breaks loose with a fervid
outburst demanding the immediate resignation
of Regents Coupland and Haller becauae campus
removal, which they favored, failed to carry in
the election. This atrikea us aa the most ridic
ulous play of the downtown campus people yet.
Suppose consolidation bad won out, would any
one be insisting on the immediate resignations
of the other four regents? Congressman Ma
guire has Just been beaten in the Lincoln dis
trict, by young Mr. Reavis. and on the same
theory he would have to yield hla aeat without
waiting for the expiration of his term. Let the
campus extenstontsts take their victory more
calmly.
PolitJoa and Prinoipln.
"It la the gravest weakness of this country
at present to ignore certain fundamental things,
that life la not saved by politics, but by prin
ciples ' and i that principles are not taught by
votes and legislation, but by precept and prac
tice," says! Miss Ida Tarbell, getting down very
close to the tap-root of first principles.
Pursue the thought and It suggests the fal
lacious tendency of trying to force men to do
what their better Judgment does not prompt
them to do. At the toot of Mount Slnat the
principle was first enunciated. ' The law given
to Moses was divided into three parts, the
moral law for individual conduct, the spiritual
law for the ceremonials, the civil law for the
state. Manifestly it waa not Intended that one
should be made to supplant the other. The
moral law can no more be made to govern
the state than can the spiritual law, and yet on
many hands we find the attempt to substitute
the moral for the civil law and make It do what
If waa not Intended to do. :
Folks generally admit the shortcomings of
home Influence In our day, one of the saddest
and most tragic of human failures. The family
antedated the state In the development of so
ciety and atlll exists, or should, as the unit et
society. It cannot shift Its own functions and
responsibilities onto the atate without disas
trous results to both. Why do we not aee that
and cease trying to reverse the experience of
history as well as the principles of life? Miss
Tarbell is eminently correct life is saved by
principles and not politics. Let the proper
stress be laid on that, let the moral law be
kept in ita place and the civil law left-free to
do its part in the government of the state, and
perhaps in time we shall have less occasion for
trying to provide a legislative makeshift as a
panacea for all our human faults. Such a thing
Btver has been posstbls, because, si we see, it
wss never so ordered or Intended. The tend
ency to which we have referred, of the home
counting its duties off onto society or the state,
limply shows how we are seeking to move along
lines of least resistance at a time when we
should breast the stern tide of realities and hold
It Is Its proper channel.
Survival of the Fittest.
Mechanically, modern warfare reverses the
Darwinian theory of the survival of the fittest,
which rests on the tenet that th great number
of persons killed are, on the whole, lower than
the average of those who survive. But Darwin,
of course, was reckoning with wars of averages,
not of so-called civilized men.
And yet If this theory is to apply In the larg
est sense to races and nations as well as to in
dividuals, then why may it not be considered in
relation to the sum total of what is now going
on in Europe? Come what may, why Is it not
reasonable to believe that the ultimate net re
sult of this hideous human slaughter will be a
new Europe representing the triumph of the best
of the old as embodied In those ideals which de
mand a higher arbitrament than that of force?
Let us turn a deaf ear to the Jangling voices
of the contending powers raised in defense of
this or that "culture" or "civilization" and await
results. This we know, that no civilization is
the right one, the highest one or enduring that
yields to brute strength in the determination of
its destiny. The world cannot , advocate the
cause of ultimate universal peace with any con
sistency so long as it holds to the old delusion of
the necessity of war. The only civilization, the
only culture worth while, Is that that sheaths
the sword and submits all controversy to honest
and honorable adjustment.
War'a Irony.
It is certainly the Irony of war that the first
real victory for the allies should be scored by
the "little brown Japs" over in the far corner
of China. Whether or not the capture of Tslng
Tau exerts any appreciable Influence upon the
conflict in the European war arena, it signalizes
the completion of the task that was allotted to
the Japanese to dislodge the Germans from their
position in the orient. Japan has intimated Its
purpose to restore the captured territory to
China, although how it can be held to such a
pledge is not clear.. Should the original pro
gram be carried out, Japan will also be giving
us a notable example of international good faith.
A Turning Point in American History.
In bis address before the Palimpsest club, Dr.
Mark Wenley of Michigan university reaffirmed
the view that our American civilization had its
real birthday on May 10, 1869, the day on which
the last spike was driven In the completion of
the Union Pacific railroad; that "then America
began to build a civilisation truly Its own." The
country began to realize something, not only of
its great resources, but of its destiny as a world
power. Having built a band of steel that united
the two oceans and brought the people of the
continent into closer contact as a great nation,
by the same means we linked the Occident with
the orient and took our place in the arena of
world affairs.
All this should be peculiarly interesting to the
people of our own city and state. As the starting
point and eastern terminus and official home of
this first transcontinental railroad leading out to
other lands, Omaha occupies a position of unique
importance. It cannot be separated from the
history of the Union Pacific, nor denied Its place
in this larger chapter of the history of American
civilization. Thus made the Gate City to the
west, therefore the far east, its position becomes
more and more strategic in the world of busi
ness about us with the development of com
merce and country. " It is up to the people of
Omaha and Nebraska to see that the most Is
made of these natural advantages, for no un
usual faith in the future is required to see that
this city is really now at the threshold of its
growth and advancement, calling for brains and
brawn, open minds and eteady bands.
MUFFLED KNOCKS.
Life and Livelihood.
Richmond has embarked upon a new experi
ment In vocational training, which may be
watched with Interest, aa may all such experi
ments, which Involve the fundamentals of edu
cation. The Virginia city has commissioned a
set of "experts" to make an industrial and educa
tional survey to get information regarding the
principal occupations, especially those employ
ing young people, aa a means of formulating
plans for fitting youth for these particular
vocations.
If Richmond is not very careful she may make
the mistake of fatally narrowing the basis of the
education of her young people, by fitting them
more for the earning of some sort of a liveli
hood than for life, Itself. In fact, as we view it,
this is the thing against which the whole sys
tem of vocational training has to guard. Edu
cation, after all, Is only one method of prepara
tion for the whole of life, and the work that one
engages in is only one means, of living. To be
sure, one's occupation is not to be put upon the
low plane of merely a means of livelihood, for
through it he should give to the world much of
the service he renders.
Tet, all this considered, together with the im
portance of raising each unit of the population to
Us highest efficiency, we still have to avoid nar
rowing the scope of educational training. While
specialization certainly has Its virtues, It like
wise has its faults. One of these faults is the
tendency toward one-sided development To us,
It seems to get back to this, that vocational
training can best be afforded where a broad,
general training has been laid as the founda
tion. There are exceptions to all rules, but the
rule must not be lost sight of because of its ex
Presumably that part of the geography
which contains the map of China and surround
ing seas will require little further attention of
the military experts.
No one who enjoys the rare privilege of liv
ing in the United States will have to strain hard
to find reasons to be thankful on the coming
Thanksgiving day.
An orator Is a lad who will say: "Need
lea to ay," and then takes a half hour
saying It.
The a-olden calf used to set a lot of
wontilp that Is now devoted to the
ullkcn calf.
Inn't It funny that tha thins we like
to do moit are the thin we are told wa
shouldn't do?
Any old time you ea a man eating
with hla knife you can bet thut ha la
hone In hla houae and that what he aays
goes.
It always Jar a man when he discovers
how much corn beef and cabbage tha
ethereal and spiritual little thing he mar
ried can tow away.
When a man get, hla first full dree
suit he ha an awful battle with himself
to keep from wearing It down town In
the daytime o people can see It
A single man imagines that It la eaay
to fool a woman. But later on he learna
that the only tlm he ever fooled his
wife waa when ha married her.
Tha old-faahloned woman who poured
coal oil on tha fire In the kitchen stove
now has a daughter who trie to crank
an automobile with tha clutch In.
A plain ordinary man finds If hard to
laugh at the way the women primp when
he recollect that some of hia own sex
deep with their mustaches put up In kid
curler.
It 1 hard for a pretty girl to be nloe
to a married man In public. She knows
what she would do if she was married
and caught a pretty girl being nice to her
husband.
The old-fashioned woman who used to
have a drea that ah put away becauae
It wan "too good to wear' now has a
daughter who kicks because she can't
find anything good enough to wear.
There waa a tlm when a woman's
clothes were a great mytery to a man.
But nowadays, with the tora windows
and tha newspapers filled with bargains
In undergarment, ha knows Juat what
ech Item Is and how much It Is worth.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
MUSINGS OF A CYNIC.
A man may be alow but sure, but his
watch can't ba.
One thing about Ice la that It never
cell like hot cakes.
Many a rich man has hi own way untl)
his will la probated.
Thou ehalt not covet thy neighbor's feet
with which to do thy kicking.
Strange as it may seem, high living has
put many a man on hla uppers.
It's a good plan to use your head if
you would get there with both feet.
There are times when It takes a mighty
strong-minded woman to hold her tongue.
An egotist la a man )ho Is so wrapped
up In himaelf that he pays no attention
to u.
Many a man who believes nothing will
expect hisxwlfe to believe everything h
telle her.
A debt defies all the laws of nature.'
The more debt are contracted the more
they expand.
The fellow who tells a girl her voice has
the flexibility of a violin may be hinting
to be her beau.
Lota of people are criticised because
they don't love their neighbors a the
neighbors love them.
It la quite possible for a man to almply
spread himaelf without really having any
broadening Influence.
It Isn't every man who can fall into a
fortune without austalnlng a compound
fracture of the moral. t
There's plenty of gossip In a boarding
bouse, but the landlady never carca to
entertain an Idle roomer.
Some people will be surprised when
they get to heaven to find that the free
lilt I absolutely auapended during thla
engagement. New Tork Times.
AROUND THE CITIES,
' In New Tork City there are .6M,S6
dwellers in apartment and tenement
houses and only 1.0TO,M8 In private dwel
lings. Tha heart of Baltimore I now grid
Ironed with smooth streets and cob
blestones are relegated to the back dis
trict. Seattle bought the Seattle, Renton and
Southern Suburban road from the re
ceivers for $1,000,000 and annexed it to
the city stock of Induatrle.
Cleveland la peacefully disposed, but it
would give a prlaa purse for a faw short
range shot from a German "Jack John
son" directed at ita union depot.
Gamblers in a Kansas City hotel were
warned the other day of tha approach of
the pollca by ttie strains of "Yankee
Doodle," played on a piano In the hotel
parlor.
Elisabeth, N. J., has garnered some
municipal widom from Ita 260 yeara ex
perience. Adjoining vHlagee, which call
for It fire department, are requred to
pay ISO an hour.
San Joae, Cel., has no explanation or
apology to offer for Its unique distinction
of having a ratio of three bachelor maid
to one marriageable man. San Joae Is
equally ' handioma In other way.
Chicago will launch a municipal dance
hall next month. Heads of women's clubs
and of clvlo organlsatione will be aaked
to direct the feet of dancers along "path
of righteousness," or step to that effect.
You can always tell a henpecked man. If by
ao other means, from thewsy he quails when
he meets his wife In public
SIGNPOSTS OF PE0GEESS.
A typewriter has been built with the
KO character, of the Bengali alphabet.
Harneaaed water power In the United
States reprenta an annual aavlng of
more than 53,000,000 ton of coal.
It I estimated that three-fourths of
the money spent on a modern battleship
la distributed In the hap of wages.
In Ita experiments with the productlou
of steel by electtio methods the United
States Steel corporation ha expended
more than $800,000.
Government chemists In the Philip
pine are Investigating the aoapmaking
possibilities of the new species of oil
bearing nut that has been discovered.
Fern picking baa beoome an Important
Industry in the vicinity of Jamaica, Vt
From September T to October 10 one roan
bought 1.383,001 fame, for which he paid
$93.
Guns that automatically load them
selves with acetylene gaa and dlvcharge
themaelvea to sound fog signals have
been Invented by a Scotchman, the
mechanism being act In operation by
wireless waves from a central station.
George K How of Norway. Me., Is
planning to build on a hill In that town a
fireproof house, entirely of artificial
stone, ateel and xlass. The floor and
stairway will be of eolld glasa, while
electricity will be ueed ti a great extent
to eliminate possibility of fire.
People and Events
General Shrapnel appear to be the
big nolee of the row In Europe.
Statistics of the November tonnage on
Salt river will not be available for some
time. For the moment It suffloea to
know that it Is "hefty," and let It go
at that.
Owing to the rush of other absorbing
duties, proper recognition of the high
grade of Indian summer in the corn belt
has been overlooked for a week. Hats
off to the weather maker!
Elr Ernest Shaekleton le starting for
the south pole again. He 1 one English
man who presently will have ample
facilities for keeping cool while the rest
of hi countrymen are having a hot time.
A Brooklyn man ate a twelve-pound
turkey with ample trimming on a
wager, and then "beefed" because the
bettor spent the money la paying for
the feast AH the porkers In the land
do not ge to the packing houiea.
If the censors of war news would re
lax sufficiently to tell whether the
modern armies In Flanders valiantly sus
tained the smearing reputation of their
predecessors, the new would afford pro
found relief for admirers of profane pre
cedents. Some statistics are dry reading, ethers
radiate mental cheer. In the latter class
are the export return for October, whloh
show a trade balance of $72,000,000 In our
favor. The army of peace Is steadily
progressing up the heights of prosperity
with no regrets to report.
Although Uncle Sam Is pledged to re
main a neutral regardless of the increas
ing numbers of gunmen abroad In the
world, he Is getting Into a state of pre
paredness for the question, "What part
of the, Turk do you , preferT" This Is
strictly for borne consumption.
Arrangements are about completed so
that the Christmas ship and Mr. Rocke
feller's relief ship will reach Belgium
about the same time and give the un
fortunate internal as well as externa!
merriment The glad hand with the
goods In It radiates Joy for giver snd
receiver.
The county clerk of Cook county,
Illinois, which mean Chicago, puts out
a tabulation on divorces, showing that
1$ per cent of the matrimonial misfit
gravitate to the courts during the first
yeat of married life. Wherefrom he
conclude that hasty marriages are the
root of the divorce evil.
The esteemed Abdul Hamld, staring
from the grated windows of his crib in
Asia Minor, isn't a much concerned
about a holy war a he wa In the hey
day of hi glory. What interests him
mightily is whether the allies' guns can
shoot a hole in his guarded Klonk large
enough for him to embrace Liberty. On
Liberty's aide the cares would be wholly
Involuntary.
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT.
ODD BITS OF LIFE.
William II. Sewall, of Bath, Me., dug up
a potato with a glass handle. The handle
came from a glass mug which had been
lost in the field.
Steve Bedare of Jollet, 111., traded his
wife to Aleck Wadas for $1. When he
called to take possession, Mrs. Bedare
grabbed a rolllngptn and chased Aleck
to Jail.
Mrs. Ophelia Arnold, the mother of
Mortimer E. Arnold of .Sparta, Wis., had
the unusual pleasure of attending her
son's golden wedding. She la now In her
one hundredth year and still retains all
her faculties)
Two brothers, one a sergeant In the
Royal garrison artillery and the other
a sereeant In the Royal field artillery,
both British detachments, met on the
Cambral battlefield, not having seen each
other for nine years.
The high school girls' basket ball team
of Skowhegan, Ma., has offered to rent
the Jail of the town, since Its cltlsens are
so good that It la unoccupied. They need
a place In which to practice, and the Jail
would Just suit their needs.
During a thunderstorm Tax Collector
Page, of Portsmouth, N. H., ran for the
nearest shelter, a covered wagon. When
in tt he discovered that It belonged to a
delinquent taxpayer, drove the wagon oft
to the town hall, and requested the owner
to call for It and pay his bill.
The controller of the city of New Tork
recently received an ax, with a note ex
plaining hat It had been atolen from the
city ten yeara previously, but had never
been used, and waa now returned because
of a painful conscience.
A mendicant who was recently, sen
tenced to five day In the workhouse. In
New York City, for street begging was. It
waa discovered, the owner of the large
and well-furnlshad apartment bouse In
which he lived. It wa apparently the
pure Joy of faking that led him to choose
a Ufa of mendicancy.
Washington Post: The archdeacon et
Ely believes It would be dangerous tt
apply the gohlen rule to the business ef
government. Hhs he found that Ihe Iron
rule works better?
Brooklyn Eagle: It must make a Bap
tist deacon feel like saying something
piping hot to have Frof. Matthews of the
X-nlveralty of Chicago call him a "moral
thermos bottle" or a "flreleas cooker."
If the deacons have retained the beat of
Prof. Matthews' sermons for a long time
he may be sure that they will do quite as
well In holding the Icy fluid of his attack.
Washington Star: The Methodist move
ment for provision for the superannu
ated clergymen Is designed to relieve In
dividual churches of the burden which
falls upon them In so many cases for
the care of retired pastors, creating a
general denominational fund upon whloh
all who are formally relieved of duty will
draw under a liberal pension system. It
I a business-Ilk plan, though prompted
by the highest considerations of hu
manity, and a denomination so extensive
and enterprising atiould be able to finance
It and thus establish a standard for other
denominations to adopt In turn.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTBIES.
"The -only "trouble with my speech"
aald the remorseful man, "Is that I
didn't know when to stop."
"Its worse than that." replied Mr.
Growcher. "The trouble is you didn t
know when not to be-ln." Washington
Star.
She Were there any striking feature)
at the wedding?
He Yes, the bride got some rice in Her
eye and the groom got hit on the noee
with an old ahoe. Boston Transcript.
"Pon't keep pestering me."
"Then you won't marry me?"
"I would'nt even be engaged to yon
at a summer resort" Loulavllle Courier
Journal. The visiting lady had kept her hostess
at the open door fully half an hour say
ing good-bye. finally an Irate maeouilne
voice Indoor called out:
"Say, Maria, If you're going out go:
If you're staying, stay: but for heaven a
ake, don't oozo out" Harper's Maga
zine. "All flesh Is graaa, my brother," said
Mr. Goodman.
"I believe you are right" agreed Mr.
Rounder. "I always fel like a beJe of
hay when I hit a closed town." Cincin
nati Enquirer.
"How do you suppose the evils of wear
ing heels can be corrected?"
"Only bv Inducing fashion to come out
flat-tooted for reform." Baltimore Ameri
can. "Wlmmen ain't got no sense of the
proprieties."
"How, now?"
"You know mat ouuaoc si mr
wife?"
"Yes."
"She wants to name It Fifl" Louds
ville Courier-Journal.
Kerriran fto saloonkeeper) There's no
ffettin' around it, Conny, it's th ultimit
Take beer
Blattery A small wan, thank ye! Fuck.
"Have you noticed any marked change
In public opinion of late?"
"Yes; nobody eeema to be asking what a
the score." Boston Transcript
uiu vtciil miuokii v " . . . ..........
reading an account of a shipwreck with
loss of passengers and all hand) Ha!
I am aorrv for the Door sailors that were
drowned.
Old Lady Bailor! It isn't tne sauor
it' the passengers I am sorry for. The
sailors aye used to it Kansas City Star.
THE WATER THAT HAS PASSED
i ( Author unknown.
Listen to the water mill.
Through the livelong day.
How the clanking of the wheels .
Wear the hour away.
Languidly the autumn wind
Stir the greenwood leave:
From the field tha reaper sing.
Binding up the sheaves:
And a proverb haunta my mind. .
As a BDell is cast: i
"The mill will never grind i
With the water that has passed." j
Take the leeson to thyself.
Living heart and true:
Golden years are fleeting by.
Youth is passing, too:
Learn to make the most of life.
Lose no happy day:
Time will never bring- thee back
Chances awept away.
Leave no tender word unsaid.
Love while life shall last
"The mill will never grind
With the water that hae passed."
Work while yet the daylight shines,
Man of strength and will:
Never does the streamlet glide
Uselesa bv the mill.
Wait not till tomorrow's sun
Beams upon the way; '
All that thou can'et call thine own
Lias In thy today:
Power, Intellect and health
May not ran not last:
"The mill will never grind
With the water that has passed."
Oh. the wasted hours of life
That have drifted by:
Oh, the good we might have done,
Lost without a slsh;
Love that we might once have saved.
By a single word:
Thoughta conceived, but never penned.
perishing unheard.
Take the proverb to thine heart
Take! Oh. hold it fasti
"The mill will never arlnd
With the water that has passed."
',,!,! 'U'i'i'f is 1 !'t iff) 'i:litf-1 ' '1 "I
','1K''V'u i'i! ;l - l
it , i.'m " ( tk- 't,M iV'i'i JJ mm . .' "
If'; r J vv
Ranch & Lang Electrics
HUNDREDS HAVE
POINTED THE WAY
You need beslta t no longer. Profit by the exper
ience of Itaucli & Lang owners everywhere) and
enjoy this safe, flexible, luxurions mode of travel.
Kiperieuce the delight in driving thla simple elc
Uic yourself. The low cost of upkeep of a Ranch
A Laug makea possible dally operation at a nom
inal monthly expense.
. Elmetri Carmgm 5rvfc means tk dally as of your
electric. It is ereice with t Ae attfag ra6a ftUmrm
omit tad.
ELECTRIC CARACE COMPANY
40th and Farnam Stt.