THH HKK: OMAHA, MONDAY. OCTOBER :, 1014.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOI NDKD nT KDWARD ROSKWATKR.
VICTOR ROSKWATER. EDITOR.
The Pw Publishing Company, Proprietor.
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bKITEMUKK C IIKTI.ATIOX.
56,519
Btata of Nebraska. County of Douglas, aa.
Dwlght Wllllama, circulation manater of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that
the average daily circulation for the month of Sep
tember, IV 14. wa 6.llt
DvnuiflfT WIUJAMB. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and awora to be for
me, till 2d fay of Ortober, 1(14.
ROBtRT HUNTER, Notary Public.
Babecrtbers I oaring lie city temporarily
alio old hare The tie mailed to them. Ad
dreaa trill be changed aa of tea aa requested.
Now, for the big week at Ak-Sar-Den.
If prayers will end the war, It mutt soon be
all over.
I congress going to adjourn and let mer
chant marine revival Rink?
The expression, "civilized warfare," is
enough to make a heathen cry.
Peace may have her victories, ibut not at
present on the continent of Europe.
Armageddon for the time being seeros to be
located in Illinois and Pennsylvania.
When it comes to the publicity end of the
war game, the British have the Germans beat to
a fraztle.
The real election returns will not bt In until
we know the exact monetary effect on. Rnlser
as a cbautaulker.
The Atlanta Constitution is correct the
guntoter Is nine-tenths on the way to the use
of the murderous weapon.
' If a discarded cocked bat could be of help,
either of the belligerents might be accom
modated by applying at our White House,
Whether our Ak-Sar-Bea street lighting ia
aa emergency or' merely an incident, is yet to
be determined by our municipal financiers.
Senator Burton's magnificent achievement
In puncturing that Inflated rivers and harbors
appropriation bill should not be ao toon for
gotten.
Missouri la also voting on a suffrage amend
xnent this fall. But for some reason or other,
Missouri la not considered aa fallow ground for
reform as Nebraska.
By actual count Si paragraphers up to data have
observed that the prohlbltlonlata have taken the fin
out of Virginia. New Orleans State.
Now, for the big week of Ak-Sar-Ben.
lowest form of humor Is a pun on a name.
The Information bureau looks out for garages
for visiting autos as well as rooms for the
owners. Another sign of the times which lndi
cates the progress made during: these twenty
years of Ak-8ar-Ben.
Colonel Roosevelt ventures to predict that
the progressives will carry Louisiana at the im
pending election, and thus make the first real
break In the solid south. We fear the colonel
is altogether too optimistic.
"Ono hour in the sun will produce freckles
enough to keep one busy with lotions for an
hour," warns a beauty doctor. Whereat one
ran almost hear the "bare-toot bay with cheek
of tan" observe. "I should worry. H
Social Welfare and the War.
As s result of the war. Jane Addsms see
an eclipse falling over the great social welfare
propaganda in tills and othpr countries. Thin re
markable movement which has made such head
way In the last few years Is, in her vie, sbout
to enter a twilight sons from which It will not
wholly emerge for years to come. "All organ
ized social welfare artlvitlca are put bao.k for
)ears," says Miss Addams. "We have to work
up public opinion anew."
The apprehended mischief Is to lie played by
he psychological reaction of wholesale slaughter
upon humanity. Human sensibilities bad been
whittled down to their finest point, the social
consciousness was never more alert. We
vaunted the tendency toward universal peace as
the climax of our altruistic dreams. "One has
a vested right," says Mlsa Addams. "in the finer
sensibilities of the human race, which are to be
called opon for aid In the betterment of the
conditions under which we live. Then comes
along a thing like this war and makes its ap
peal to brutish instincts and we are thrown
back."
Some may think Miss Addams too pessi
mistic. Others msy knowingly say we had idly
reckoned too far on the Influence of our ideals
f we forgot the existence of "brutish in
stinct" or that we were warned not to deceive
ourselves, while yet carrying on our splendid
social welfare work, as to the dawn of that bliss
ful day when nations shall war no more. But,
owever much we may wish that the very
horrors of this war shall accelerate the work of
war prevention, let us get the force of this
observation by Miss Addams:
When a million men are suffering in trenches wet
nd cold and wounded, what are a few children suf
fering under hard condltlona In tha fartorlea? Take
old age pensions, upon which England, France and
Germany have been working. With widows and
fatherless children numbered by the thousands In
hose countries, what are a few old people, more or
? It will be years before thesa thlnga ara taken
p again. Tha whole social fabrlo la tortured and
wlated. i
Though new seal and determination may be
born out of this awful war, new obstacles to so
cial service are sure to come also. But,, of course,
MUa Addams Is not thinking that, because the
task will be larger, it must be abandoned, but
rather that it must enlist our more energetic
and unceasing efforts. '
William Allen White says Arthur Capper,
republican nominee for governor of Kansas, "la
not a man of bluster. And the Kansas City
Journal concludes that, therefore, "the 'bull
moose party was no place for him," though he
strayed into it once.
New York has subscribed nearly half of the
gold fund, while Chicago, which comes next
highest pro rata, puts in a little less than one-
alxth. Despite all protests about the money
power being no longer entrenched in Wall
street, that Is where the coin must still be gotten
w hen it is seeded.
cu"n o. cewman. pallor of the Madison Ave
nue congregational church of New York City, was
"" "J a ier audience m Kev. Mr. Hherrlll a
inurcn lor nia oiscourse on character,
Tha llarveat Homo concert of the Saratoaa. lTio
Sunday school presented an Interesting program of
muate and recltetlone. Thoae participating were: Mlaa
Ruatln, Mlaa Hannah Grucnlg. Mlaa Maaala UrK..
MUa Uzsle Mackanaia, Mlaa Nettle McKay, MUa Cell la
iiau-, ansa uerue uica, MUa Anna Craig, MUa Uea
Orueolg, Master Wuton CrowelL Rev. Mr. Peltoa and
Messrs. vnruue, ttuaua and timith.
Tha piece put on at the German theater was "The
Karl of Esses." with Mr. Muicnala and Mlaa Sp.hn
is lite rvauins; roiei.
Mrs. V. J. Martin has gone east to vlatt relatives
F. D. Carman of New Turk haa opened a law office
in connection wits w. J. lonnells office.
W. Elliott of Henry county, Iowa, father of Natha
Kllkott of this city, is vUltint; his son for a few dais
i. M. Piper of the I niun Pacific headquarters haa
raturjed irvm aa eiwnalva trip through the west
The Political Party Deadline.
No person shall be entitled to or allowed to
file a nomination certificate unle.ua tha political
party which ha affiliate with polled at tha laat
election, before tha primary election to be held, at
east one per cent of tha entire vote In the state,
county or aub-dlVlaton In which ha seeks the nomi
nation for office. Nebraska Flection Law.
One per cent of the total vote Is a mighty
amall fraction, but It offers opportunity this
year for Nebraska to slough off a few party
circles like those credited to the populists, the
progressives or the prohibitionists, if not
throughout the state, at least In most of the
various senatorial and representative districts,
counties and other minor sub-divisions. In New
Jersey where the deadline ia fixed In the pri
mary vote, he progressives have Just forfeited
their place on the regular ballot by falling to
poll the required percentage of the total. In
this county the populists have been out of
commission for some time, and If the vote in
the laat primary were the test, the progressives
would be self-eliminated too.
The aggregate vote In the entire state In the
coming Nebraska election will probably be In
the neighborhood of ISO, 000, of which one per
cent will be S, BOO. It will be interesting to see
whether some of our so-called political parties
do not find themselves put hors du combat by
the returns.
Brief aoatribntloBe aa tUaely
topics unved. Taa Bee aaawmae
aa reayoaalbtmy for opiate of
coir as go seen te. All letters ra
t to eoadaasatloa fcr editae
Then Someone Must tie Prr Jadlred.
SoCTH OMAHA, Oct. S. To the Editor
of The lint; I not the letter from my
frlond, F. A. Agnew, calling ex-Prelr!ent
Koorevclt an "American humbugner." 1
conelder thin a personal Insult, when I
now, and the judge knows, that this 1
not true. Juet because T. R. would not
be humbugged at Chlrngo In 112. and tha
judge now rails him a "humbug."
I claim the right to honesty, and believe
T. R. Is aa honest and sincere aa A. Lin
coln waa. I happen to have lived during
LJnon's administration, and I know,
and the judge knows, that Llnooln waa
more abused than T. R. . I admire the
judge for his "frankneas," and h la not
ashamed to Men tils name, hut the Judge
haa one bad trait he la prejudiced but
this I will not admit of myself. The judge
seems to think that If Taft had been
president thla European war would not
have been. This la my view not of Taft,
but .if T. R- for T. Tt. la like Rmpemr
William: To have peace you muat be
prepared for war. T. R. la like myself,
no atandnat republican. W believe the
'tilted States Is progressive and all par-
tles, the democratic party not excepted,
should be progressive In character.
J. O. BLEH8INO.
Japan's Idea of Ui.
A professor in the University of Tokio has
recently been quoted by newspapers In New
York, where he visited, as saying that certain
Interests have persistently and systematically
tried to create the impression in Japan that the
people of the United States hold the Japanese
In contempt and that they are In no sense
friends. We have had evidences in this country
that, if such perfidious Influences were at work,
they have not been entirely unsuccessful, for
frequent reports of anti-American demonstra
tions In Japan have come to us. It mast be ad
mitted, however, that the enlightened view of
Americans In Japan Is not this.
So far aa the United States Is concerned, It
haa been aa a rule generous in its treatment of
the Japanese and la now, as a result of the
European war, about to enter upon more inti
mate relations through the open door of com
merce. With the great trading nations of
Europe engaged in war, we shall be called on
for a large measure of the commerce which they
have heretofore supplied. Our merchants and
manufacturers will, undoubtedly, make the most
of their special opportunity of Impressing Japan
with both the friendship of the United States
as well as the mutual advantage of their rade
In the end, we may feel sure, closer and more
cordial relations will ensue. This Is not the
time for putting the opportunities which come
to us through the crucible of war to mean ad
vantage, but rather for cultivating the in
tlmacies of confidence and the square deal in
business. If we do what is right we may expect
large things In Japan.
Short Ballot in Kansas.
Just by way of illustration and stimulation,
let us call the attention of Nebraska to the
plight of neighboring Kansas, where the d
mand for a short ballot is even stronger than it
is with us. While one or two elective offices
familiar here are missing there, the Kansas bal
lot includes as novelties to us the offices of
state superintendent of insurance, state printer
and three places on the State Board of Irrlga
tlon. County tickets in Kansas are likewise so
long-drawn-out as to call for radical revision,
one of the boasts cf Henry J. Allen, in his cam
palgn as the progressive candidate for governor,
being, if elected, he is "going to take a club to
the archaic system of county government that
has persisted since 1740 under the English con
centlon and knock It out." He further declares
that the short ballot program can save the coun
ties o,f Kansas $1,000,000 a year and the state
f 500,000. If cutting out the surplus offices
can do this in Kansas, it ran do something like
it also In Nebraska.
Wilson Agrees to Let Congreea Adjourn. Chlcag?
Tribune Headline.
Come, crime, the president is against bossiam!
I
F.nters a Protewt.
OMAHA, Oct. .-To the Editor of The
Itee: Mr. Olthoff In today's Bee tells us
that Germany In this war la after money,
and ha has fixed tha amount at X6,noo,000,-
000. Moreover, ha aays the Germ ana will
see to It that the kaleer laya FTanoe and
England a waste with fire and sword,
Just as he did to Belgium.
I see no use of argiimg with such a
man, but I do protest against printing such
monstrous letter, calculated to fan
hatred In thla country among people who
came from different parts of Europe.
CAESAR REOAZZI.
1920 Dodge Street.
Trlbato to an Omaha Girl,
OMAHA, Oct 3.-To tha Editor of The
Boe: Omaha church folk who read tha
Christian Endeavor World have been re
minded In the laat Issue of the loss to
them and their city of one whose name
and influence reached far and wide and
will live long after her. Miss Mabel Earle,
who died on August 30. Miss Earle was a
writer, both of prose and poetry, of rare
quality, and of her tha World says:
Miss Earle made thousands' of frlenda
by her writings In this paper. Hhe never
wrote merely for the sake of writlne. or
for the mere money returns, but alwsys
naa a neep purpose in her atones, a pur
pose revealed vary earnestly In her letters
concerning them. Put Mlsa Karl
waa, above all, a poet No better rellgloua
poetry has been written In recent vun
than hers.
The Christian Endeavor World aays
that Miss Earle's last aerial for that
paper embodied her experiences in the
Omaha tornado and "conveyed the lesson
of a calm trust in Ood In the midst of
trial, which she would wish to be her
final message to her friends." The tribute
to thla excellent young woman concludes
with twe stansaa of her recent poem,
"Tna Gates of Evening," which waa used
aa tha eover poem for a late Issue of the
World:
Porno on a sea of deepening rest
Pur spirits drift across the bar
To that far portal In the west
Tha sunset cloud, the sunset star.
Thy merey, Lord, on toll and pain!
Thy .pardon. Lord, for fault and sin!
Fling wide the gates of rest again
And let Thy weary children In.
AMICUS.
Qaeetloaa from a Qaeattoner.
BROKEN BOW. Neb.. Oct .-To the
Editor of The Bee: In The Boe'a Letter
Box of H. Fischer's reply to D. C. John Is
typical of a German. He aays the allies
may starve Germany, but will never con
quer It. HU beat plan would bo to alt
quietly and "wait and aee." England did
not want tha war with Germany, but aa
the kalnera military advisers thought
they could fight the world they took upon
themselves to break Uie neutrality of
poor Belgium aa an easy way to get at
France and march to Paris In sixteen
days. Thanks to tha plucky Belgians,
the Germans long-planned sixteen days'
march to Paris failed.
If Germans are a peace loving people,
why all this preparation for war, and why
did Germany dictate the ultimatum from
Austria to Servla? Why does Germany
require a large navyT Is there any reason
why Germany should have such a navy?
Nona whatever, any more than tha other
European powers. 3. CROOKS.
A Not of Appreciation.
OMAHA, Oct 1-To tha Editor of The
Bee: We all like praUa and compliments
when we have said or done anything
noteworthy. Were we more free with a
cheering word now and then there would
be laaa call for sympathy. Editors have
many hot shots fired at them during the
course of a year, but, nevertheless, they
are human, .and, I presume, are not Im
mune from praise any more than the rest
of ua.
Allow me to compliment you for your
excellent editorial "Boys Fight the
World'a Ware." It la only four short
paragraphs, but la the moat appealing
article I have read on the subject of
war since tha Inaugurating of the present
conflict.
Better had the economists turned their
calculations to the figuring out of a
means of escape for the furhttng children
thaa causing furrows In their brows by
tabulations of the cost of war In dollars
and eents; for there are rhlld-aoldlars In
tha field today. Better had The Hague
conference Insisted upon only men fight
ing the world's war than to fret over the
uae of dum-dum bullets.
Children In war, past present or future!
It's a mockery upon civilisation!
E. C. W.
Germany's Crown Prince
Political Tips
Bt Paul Pioneer Preaa: In mora than
one state besides Maine the progressive
may point to tha result and exclaim Jubi
lantly and ungrammatically ; "I dona It"
Philadelphia preaa: It la just like the
aemocrata, after taking the tariff off for
elgn commerce aa far aa they could, to
go and try to make It up by taxing do
meettc commerce.
Kansas City Journal: Seattle haa been
trying municipal ownership of street rail
ways, and haa lost money heavily, with
out Improving the service. Some reforms
work out ao much better In theory than
la practice.
The warlike tendencies of Germany's crown prince
have In the past ben represented as a source it
much embarrassment to his father, who, apparently,
wss most dcslous of building up a peaceful reputa
tion for Germany. Rut now Prince Frederick Wlil
Ism's firebrand pollrieg. well as his absolute de
votion to the German army and the militarist Idea,
have stood him In good stead, and. combined with
his undoubted valor upon the field, have won for
him the coveted Iron Cross and the frank com
mendations of the emperor. The New Tork Times
quotes, in dlcus!on of the militarist prince, a nook,
entitled "Der Kronprlnx." r.y one Dr. Paul Llman
of Berlin, which gives an excellent Idea of the young
man. Dr. Uman has endeavored to explain the
prince to his people, reconciling his sometimes rather
pusxllng eccentricities with the character and men
tality of one destined to be Germany's future ruler.
His view of the prince la particularly Interesting Just
now, as It was written with the firm belief that
Frederick William as kaiser would one day become
Involved In the same sort of struggle that exists
at present.
Dr. Llman paints an attractive portrait of the
kaiser's heir. In spite of all his vagaries, we learn
that he Is popular throughout Germany, totally de
void of "side," and the keenest sort of a sportsman.
Moreover, and this Is less known, we hear of him
as a diligent reader of hooks, especially on history,
and as a warm admirer of Napoleon, despite the
fact thst the great Corslcan humbled Germany to
the dust In his campaigns.
In his endeavor to show the crown prince as he
really Is, Dr. Llman haa not forgotten the book on
his hunting experlencea which the kaleer's heir pub
lished a couple of years ago. In Its pages, he says,
tha prince appear to ua quite without vanity or
literary frills, without the craving for noisy ac
clamation. The hunting-book was written after the crown
prince's Journey to the far east. It describes tl-e,r
hunting In India and Ceylon and all aorta of exciting
experlencea In far away lands, but the young hunter
does not forget the countless expeditions that ho
haa undertaken within the boundaries of hla native
Germany, and which form an Important part of his
regular round of existence. And It Is in describing
these that much of hla real nature rises to the
surface, as, for Instance, In these sentences:
"We hunters pity from the bottom of our hearts
those men to whom hunting game In some form
or other la Impossible or unknown. And when I say
hunting, I really mean stalking. To my mind, who
soever thinks at all of hunting that wonderful com
bination of fighting, enjoyment of nature, and self
contomplatton Is thinking In reality only of stalk
ing, and recognises things like a tiger hunt only as
a sort of exercise In shooting, by no means as any
thing truly sportsmanlike.
"To the real sportsman the great book of beauti
ful nature opens Itself willingly. In the brilliant
sunrise. In the tired, silent midday sleep. In the soft
evening which spreads peace over forest and field,
in tha wild, howling mountain storm, the voice of
nature speaks to us solitary huntsmen in accents
always different and always Impressive, and sings
to us the noble song of the Creator.
"Such hours, spent alone only they make
life on earth worth living! For beauty and peace
fulness many an evening of hunting that I have en
joyed is, in my opinion, surpassed by nothing In
the world. How often during those evenings have
I thought of those words Inscribed by the Grand Mo
guls over their palace In Agra: 'If there is a Para
dise on earth It ia here, It is here.'
"Nothing binds frlenda so ctoaely as hunting ex
perlencea which they have shared. When at night
the flames are flickering in the fireplace, when happy
sportsmen are stretched out lq big leather chairs,
clgareta between their Hps, eyes glancing toward the
trophies on the wall, reminding each other of 'how
we stalked the deer together that time,' then it s
that genuine comradeship is engendered."
Dr. Lyman calls this a "free, honest confession,"
and It la Indeed the confeaalon of one whose instinct
and love for the hunt might well breed in htm a
passion for that greater, more thrilling hunting pai-
I I me war and the hunting of men. At all events.
the crown prince has ever been on the side of the
army. From tha preface of the prince's book dealing
with the army and navy, "Germany In Arms," a
few lines show how ardently the author embraced
the cause:
"We are living in a time when men proudly point
to their culture, a time which is but too willing
to plume Itself on Its cosmopolitanism and takes
pleasure in dreaming Idle dreams of the possibility
of eternal peace.
"Such a conception of life la un-Gierman. It is
not for us. The German, who loves his country, who
believes In Ha greatness and future, and does not
wish to see any lessening of Its prestige, will not
close his eyes In such dreams, not allow himself to
be lulled to sleep by the peace lullaby of the
Utopians.
"If the German people decide to risk life and
property In a war, then let the world be full of
devils and rise against us in arms; we can handle It,
no matter how great the peril of the hour!"
I.Ike Thla father, who has dabbled In the fine arts,
his heir also haa tried his hand at composing mualo
and painting ptoturee. But, avers Dr. Ltman, ha U
not at all conceited about hla productions. When ha
has finished a picture he smilingly Inquires of thoae
privileged to see It whether they can guess what tt
represents a snowy landscape or a negro chieftain,
still lite, or a battle scene.
But such activities are merely secondary; first
and foremost the young man Is a soldier.
"He does his duty just like any one of hla com
rades, from early morning until the moment when
the rest of his fellow officers are relieved. And some
times even he stays behind a couple of hours to
tlstea to the Instructions of superior officers, cheer
fully observing: Oh, my wife will send me some
sandwiches and a half bottle of wine.' "
People and Events
Phillip D. Armour, grandson of the founder of Ar
mour A Co., is taking his first practical leaeona In
the business by tramping around In the mud of tho
Chicago stock yards as a cattle buyer.
Rome chronics persist in the notion that the Eu
ropean war lords hsnded a lemon to LTicle Sam.
Well, what if they did? Tour Vnele knows how to
compound a lemonade and put a atlck In It
A Frenchman and a German In 8kux City bat
tled valorously for the smllea of a pretty Irish wait
ress. Both slgnd a treaty of peace before the police
Judge, but the German was forced to retreat to a
hospital.
The court of appeals of New Tork haa said the
last word In the rase of Mrs. B. C. Pelxotto, the New
York school teacher dismissed for absenting herself
from school to become a mother. The court sustalia
the right of the school board to enforce the rule.
Mrs. Jane Seymour Burnett of Bt Louie, recently
deceased, served aa a nurse in the Crimean war with
Florence Nightingale. Bhe survived two husbands,
both British captains of artillery, and haa three grand
sons In the ranks of the British forces In France.
How quick the pocket nerve regulatea the view
point! A group of fifteen Americana from Alabama
stood outaide a cloaed hotel In Paris, the second night
of the war. discussing where to go and how to get
there. Another tourist, easing up and down deserted
streets, waa attracted by the language of the group.
"Hello,' Uncle Bam. what's the trouble?" Tha leader
of the party stepped up to the tourist and remarked:
"I'm from Alabama where do you kail from T" "I'm
from Bill Bryan's state." "Shake," he exclaimed.
extending hla Dixie fist He was mighty sore about
the war and nursed a grouch against tha Germane.
"I hope they'll be licked to a dead finish. What
have the Germana done to me? A great deal. Our
people get all our potaah from Germany. Wa had a
five-year contract. Tne Germana thought It was un
profitable and wanted us to break It We refused
Then they Induced the government to Impose an ex
port tax. We had to pay It about io. a year.
which waa turned over to the potash dealers.
Tou bet I want to aee them licked, good and plenty."
Having thus eased his mind, be vanished in the dark-
In Official Quarters
Milwaukee entlnel- Go to the fourth
line of battle. Mr. High Taxer, and watch
a state run in a business wsy.
Pprlngfleld Republican: It Is a good
while since snynody In Europe has
sneered at the Idealism of Dr. Wilson.
Cleveland I 'lain Dealer: Many i dem
ocratic senator will henceforth be un
able to look a pork barrel in the face
without btu.'hlng.
Indianapolis News: Those reductions
made In the river and harbor bill appear!
to be Just about as ridiculous as some of'
the appropriations.
Washington Star: Mr. Bryan now
knowa how' the gold democrats of IW,
must have felt when ha reads tha returns i
from the Illinois primaries.
Chicago Herald: Mr. Bryan sounded
the doom of monarchy in hla speech at
Baltimore, but the monarrhs bad beat
klm to It by at least six weeks.
Baltimore American: In view of tha
failure of the tariff, democracy Is going
to have a hard time raising money with
out Incurring the wrath of the people.
Boston Transcript: The report that the
V. S. S. Dolphin has left Wept Point with
Mrs. Josephus Daniels snd party must be
a mistake, aa it la well known that this
sort of Joyriding Is strictly forbiddsn In
the Jeffersontan manual.
Washington Herald: Secretary Bryan
says the war era has ended In the United
States and Is drawing toward Its clcse In
foreign lands. While everybody will
earnestly hope that the secretary Is right
It Is difficult to discover any sound rea
son for believing tt.
rauee 1 came near marrying htm before
1 met you.' ..
"It Isn t that. dear. He doesn t coma
here for a thing on eaith but to gloat
over mc." Houston Tost.
"You must rrnmieo me one thing before
I will consent to mnrry yvu."
"Anything!"
"You must spend s many evenings win
me after we are marriol a you do now.
Houston Poet.
"Do you believe that we shall ever have
Universal pence?" ..
"I'm afraid not. Of cource the nations
mav cease warring apolnst each other;
but' men and women will probably keep
right on getting married." Hoston Tran
script. "My daughter Is an exceptionally elever
womnn."
"How so?" .
"She makes all her pin money with her
needle." Baltimore American.
"Tour daughter plays some very robust
pieces." ... ,
"Sne s got a beau in the parlor,' growled
r, Womba. "and that loud music Is to
drown the sound of her mother washing
the dishea." Pittsburgh Post.
"What 1s the mall from daughter?"
asked mother, easerly. ......
"A thousand kisses." snswered father
grimly, "and sixteen handkerchiefs, two
waists and four batcnea of ribbon for you
to wash and mend ' - Kansas City Journal.
"Paw a verv painful sight this morn
ing." remarked the athletic boarder.
"What was that?" ,
"An old man trying to teach bis beauti
ful young wife to swim by reading a
book of Instruction to her frpm the
iihore." Louisville Courier-Journal.
THE IIMIT.
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
"Faint heart ne'er won fair lady."
quoted Mrs. Gabb, aa she tossed aside the
magazine she waa reading.
"Home guys have all the luck," growled
Mr. Gabb. Cincinnati Enquirer.
"You might at least treat him decent
when he calls."
"I treat him as decently as he haa any
right to expect!"
''You have a grudge against him Just be-
Dame Fashion was in sorry straits.
Klue whv did she r,o back, I asque,
To old Methuselah's back yard
And dig us up that ancient basque.
Dsme Fashion Is a tyrant bold.
But as a tyrant, has a tasque
Of Herculean sise If she
E'er hop'S to make me wear a basque.
She'll have to chloroform me, yes
To pour it down me from a flasque
Reduce me tj unconsciousness.
E'er she can put on me a basque.
I might have worn a trouserette
(I could also have worn a masque)
And kept my reason but not so,
If I should don a hideous basque.
Let dum-dum bullets end my life.
Then let them put me in a casque;
But nnver, here I draw the Hne,
Let them dare clothe me in a basque.
Omaha. BAYOLL NE THELK.
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