THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, JULY 29, 1912. The Omaha daily bee FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSEWATER VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR BEE BUILDIN'Q- FARNAM AXDl'TH. Entered at Omaha Postofftce es second class matter. ,- TEEMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Sunday Be, cme year ""ifw Saturday Bet. one year..... ";! Daily Bee (without Sunday) one yf Daily Bee and Sunday, one yer.....o w DELIVERED BT CARRIER. Evening- Bee (with Sunday), per mo ..25c Daily Bee (including Sunday), per mo.. Bee Daily Bee 'without Sunday), per --4oo Address au complaints or irregularities tn delivery to City Circulation Dept. RBMITTAKCES; . , . . AwtAaa mi nkflial order. s pf small accounts. Personal checKs. ex cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, cot accepted. s OFFICES. Omaha The Bee building. Kouth Omeha-231S X St. Council fcluffs-75 Scott St Lincoln-2 Little building. Chicago 1041 Marquetie building. Kansas City-Reliance building. New York-34 West Thirty-third. Washington 728 Fourteenth St. N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to news and editorial matter should be addressed Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. JUNE CIRCULATION. ' 48,945 State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss. N. P. Fell, business manager ot The Bee Publishing company, being duly worn, says that the average dally cir culation for the ironth of June, 1912, was 4S.M5. , X. P. FEIL. Business Manager. Subscribed In my preserve and sworn to before me this th day of July, 1912. (Seal) ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public. abecribera leaving the city temporarily aboald have The Bee mailed to these. Address - will be changed aa oftea aa re vacated. General Humidity evidently does not want to be relieved of nig com- mand. ' If worse comes to worst. Council man McGovern might hope for a Job on the police force. . The Chicago woman who asked and got 0 for a broken heart must hold love very lightly. The marines are being decked out in new pajamas. But somehow con gress has not yet debated It. The prohibition candidate for pres ident ranks Mr. Deba as an average drinker. Well, yes; fully a .300 av erage.; .V No amount of reiteration will get the American people to regard the ! Panama canal as a one-man enter prise. Y-iY v'i' V A reckless member of congress de ', mauds an investigation of the gau sage industry here In the middle of dog days. -. i Governor Wilson doubtless believes by now that a candidate should never write books until after he has quit office-seeking, t Never mind about that West Vir ginia district convention endorsing ;Mr, Bryan for 1916; let's get this 1912 affair settled first. The Boston Globe says the way to I keep shoes from squeaking is to take ,them off. There ought to be a more agreeable cure than that. ' , - : ; One big tent show come and gone without a city hall root over' free ticket. Score another for the com mission plan of government. ' Champ Clark boasted that his toun' dawg wore "the collar of no special interest. I That must be the reason the dog-catchers at Baltimore got him. . t- Perhaps what made the southern ers resent Mr. Rockefeller's offer to care them of the hookworm was his failure to call It by Its right name epring fever. , Mrs. Champ Clark says she told her husband to look out or that man Bryan would get him. ,, When will stupid, perverse man learn to heed the advice of his wife? The colonel continues to address hie invitations to ex-republieans and to- . ex-democrats alike but ex democrats are not yet in sufficient evidence to be identified. it ' A ' Notice has been ;; sent ,oit for Douglas county among others, to an awer before the state board wby its assessment ; should not be raised What 1 it this time automobiles or Bewing machines? r Those Detroit ' boodlers will . seek , vindication by asking r 'election. The dispatches seem to be sadly de ficient la conveying information as to whether they are republicans or x democrats, or merely grafters. Why, asks, a, correspondent, should a republican aupport Taft? Well, one reason Is that Taft has made a good record that deserves .a second term, and another is that he has served the party and the people faithfully against heavy odds. ' The law's command to the auto 1st to come to a full stop where street cars are taking on or unloading pas sengers Is observed - mostly Y in the breach. There will be little sympa athy for the culprit who perpetrates a fatal accident by this sort of reck-leseness. Test of Business Strength. Business seems to be running the gauntlet of a year of most intense po litical strife and confusion and surely if it succeeds as well finally as it has thus far in maintaining its equi librium it will have proved its power to withstand whatever strain may be put upon it. That it is meeting the test with remarkable strength is evi dent in the continued demand for labor, . the large purchases of fall stock and the freedom of the money market.' Along this line the Wall State Journal observes: The call for the laborer has gone over the', land. He la wanted in the grain fields. the steel mills, the car-building plants, the textile factories, and to more or less extent, In every branch of industry. There is no unemployment should be none. Money . Is circulating freely, the demand for the necessaries and for the good things of life Is on the increase and all classes will enjoy a high degree of prosperity In the coming time. Such a state of affairs ought to have a sobering effect upon those who for obvious reasons, personal or political, are beating the tom-tom of discontent and distrust. Where Are the Pops? Our old friend "Tom Tibbies" of fers to take a contract to deliver the populist vote in Nebraska to Wood- row Wilson. But Tibbies' ability to deliver anything will have to be dem onstarted. In the last primary up wards of 10,000 populists cast re publican ballots and swelled the vote recorded for Roosevelt to that extent, reducing the total ,'ln the populist cblumn to 1.097 Whether Tibbies himself is Included in the 1,097 still carrying the populist banner, is de cidedly open to question. The Boy's Training: Period. Stress is laid on the Importance of juvenile training - during the first seven years, but experts in the han dling of youth are inclined now to agree that the crucial years in a boy's life are those between 15 and 25. If this is so, the supreme effort must be made during that period to bend bis career in the proper course. With adolescence comes a certain realizing sense that penetrates what theretofore has been but a sort of mystery to the boy and. as the in quiring vision of his mind and emo tions opens to receive entirely new conceptions of life, a steadying in fluence, not needed before, is re quired. Prom this time on the youth is of more importance in his own es timation as well as to' others. He is just bursting into the vigor of young manhood and the small things that have satisfied him no longer meet his demands. He begins to think of life's work, what he shall do, how he shall live. i Right there is where his most care ful training should begin and It should continue until, according to the common viewi he is full grown. What convictions, what predilections he is to form are likely to be formed then, though not necessarily un changeably. This is the period when, It seems, the capsheaf of the boy's training must be. placed if he is to travel the right road in manhood. Promise and Performance. The party that proclaimed and has al ways enforced the Monroe doctrine and was sponsor for the new navy will con tinue faithfully to observe .the constitu tional requirements to provide and main tain an adequate arid well-cronortioned navy, sufficient to defend American poli cies, protect our clttseni and uphold the honor and djgnity of the nation-Part of the Democratic 1913 National Platform. The democrats perform this cam paign promise by again voting down an appropriation for even one new battleship this year, having already killed the item in the naval bill call, ing for the usual quota of two ships. If the democrats In congress adhere to this stupid position they will make it hard for' their campaigners on the stump to say much for their plat- form. The pretense at economy is not deceiving "anybody, unless It be th6se political trick horses who im agine it is deceiving others. The plan of our Nebraska 'demo cratic senator to solve the trust prob lem by graduated taxes on increased product is said to be meeting with favor. Yes, but what does William Jennings Bryan think about it? In essence it is Internal revenue tax on protection lines, and the democratic jSlatform announces" as unconsti tutional the levying of a tariff tax for any purpose but for revenue. Considering the,; desperate scram ble on for the Job Of democratic state chairman this year, the expectation must be , thoroughly - entrenched among the faithful that a large con signment of campaign boodle is to be headed this way when the pot raised down east to elect Wilson and Mar shall be emptied. ,..Y Plenty of Wnrlc for All. Springfield Republican. There U no lack of work In this coun try today. The mills in New England are short-handed; the steel plants in Penn sylvania are short of labor; the harvests ot the great west yearn and cry aloud tor abundant reapers - t'ofceUevable. ; Chicago Record-Herald. 'It. is alleged that Buffalo Bill's long Curls are false. We can't believe It We would be almost as willing to believe the teeth of the third party candidates were porcelain. . ,,. . Wouldn't Take the Money. The authorities of the District of Colum bia turned down the request of Glfford Flnchot for Increased taxation on hi property, contending that Oiff needed the money for Bull Moots alfalfa, i OBSEEVATIONS OF A DEMOCEAT . ON THE REPUBLICAN .CONVENTION W. 0. Hart in the IT Having attended the democratic con vention in 1908 as an alternate at large, and finding the occasion so Interesting and attractive, I concluded that this year I would like to attend the convention as a delegate-so as to be "in the swim," as It were and through the kindness of my friends In the party I was elected a dele gate from the Second congressional dis trict , The republican convention being but a week before the democratic convention I wanted to attend that also and see what was going on; and on the Invitation of friends, who were delegates thereto, I was given the courtesy of a seat, and never missed a moment of the convention from the time of Its opening, on Tuesday, June 10, until the gavel fell on the final adjournment Saturday night, June 20, at half past ten. Many other like myself were constant attendants at the conven tion, waiting for the explosion, which never came. '. ' . , The Coliseum, In which the convention was held, though of massive size, was not built for convention purposes, but 'for exhibition purposes, and, therefore, the acoustics were very , poor, and, besides, there were other defects In the arrange ments which prevented those present from getting a full grasp of the pro ceedings. The speaker's platform was too low, and was so small that anyone wanting to address the convention was compelled to stand Immediately in front of the presiding officer, so that when he was called upon to rule he had to walk forward and stand with the speaker, in stead of remaining at his desk; and most of the reading and announcing clerks, as a rule, were of weak voices and seemed to take delight In making the announce ments while the applause was going on. And even those who used megaphones were evidently unfamiliar with their use, as even with - them ; their voices could often be Heard only at a comparatively short distance. " Allen the Most Interesting- Speaker. Several of the speakers, however, could be heard practically all over the hall, end among the greatest of these, so far as oratory was concerned, was Henry 3. Alln of Kansas, who spoke early and often, and, although always on the losing side, was most Interesting and entertain ing. The tension on both sides and when I say both tides I mean the Taft side and the Roosevelt side was yery great when, after the opening prayer, the con vention was ready tor business. Immedi ately Governor Kadley of Missouri, rep resenting the Roosevelt side, presented a motion that the temporary roll, aa pre pared by the National committee, and which had been printed and circulated throughout the convention, be replaced by a roll call which he presented, and which had oh it about ninety of the so called Roosevelt contestant delegates, Instead of the Taft delegates recognised by the committee; and It was just at this point that Roosevelt lost, in my judg ment, his only opportunity to control the convention! The presiding officer, Mr. Resewater of Nebraska, chairman of the National committee, declined to entertain the mo tion, when Mr. Watson ot Indiana, rep resenting the Taft side, made the objec tion that no business could be transacted except the election of a temporary chair man until after the election, and that the motion of Governor Hadley was out of order. , From this ruling Kadley took an appeal, which Watson moved to lay on the tabl, and the chair ruled out both the appeal and motion for the same STRONG POINTS OF MODERN NEWSPAPER Bev. Charles M. Sheldon in 1. The modern newspaper la a splendldf everyday source ot world knowledge. With remarkable energy and enterprise the managers of the modern press reach around the world with long arma and strong hands to secure knowledge ot world events. These are brought to our doors at a minimum expense. World history, the advancement of science, the movements of government, adventure, sport, commerce, human energy In vari ous and interesting forms become a part of the Individual reader's education. The modern paper serves a vast number of individuals, ' working tor the enrichment and Interest of their lives. - ; 1 The modern newspaper la the advo cate of the people. In very many Important eases it starts reform movements for the good of the entire community. In very many cases the newspaper originates plans for human betterment, sometimes on an exceedingly large and unselfish scale. It It had not been for the assistance of the newspapers in Kansas, it Is doubtful if the present prohibitory law would now be Iri force. In general the press ot the state, in over whelming majority, Joined hands with the church and good eltlsens to advocate what was In many ways a very un popular movement which cost . many papers hoavlly in a financial way. The tame use of the modern newspaper Is found in many Instances tn different periods Of history. ;i a The modern "newspaper la of great educational value, with special features PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN FUNDS Primaries Swell the Cost When Economy Begins. ; Indianapolis News. f , , Postmaster General Hitchcock, chair man of the republican national commit tee In 190& told the senate committee that the total ot the republican fund for that year was il,635i$.27. The fund four years before, when the bull moose was a candidate, was, according to Chairman Cortelyou,, U.9O0.OOO. Thus we see that there was a very encouraging shrinkage. With the exception of a few banks which gave $5,000 each no corporation, as far as Mr.' Hitchcock knows, guva anything. ' There were gifts , from some men interested In the Steel trust-Muu-sey and Cochran among them, Perkins, he thought, did not contribute. The fund, though smaller than that of 1904, waa quite large enough, much larger, we have bo doubt, than any party will bt able to command this year. For the peo ple are shewing a very cheering sensitive ness on this subject One ot the greatest dangers which a free people can7 be ex posed lies in the use Of money at elec tionsor at primaries cither. A bought election is no election at all. since it la not the expression of the people's will. It we make our campaigns mere questions of finance we thereby exclude poor men from office, or else make It necessary for them, to get the support of men who nave money; ' ' -'v.v." . , It Is a curious fact that lust as we ew Orleans States reason, as above given, and the roll call on the vote -for temporary chairman was then ordered. " ' - - ' What Beat Roosevelt. If Governor Hadley, when the chair refused to entertain the motion, had put the motion himself and had declared it carried, It is possible that the Roosevelt aide might have been able to organize the convention; or, If not. I believe at that moment" all of the Roosevelt dele gates were ready to leave the hall In a body and twlth the contestants would have had a quorum of their own and they could have done as they pleased. But the very moment the Roosevelt side tempor ised and allowed the roll call, it was beaten forever. In writing of the first day's proceedings of the convention, I gave the opinion that the Roosevelt forces had been outgeneraled from the start, and that ppinlon I did not change at any time. So far as the convention, as finally organised, was concerned, Roosevelt at no time could have been nominated notwithstanding reports to the contrary. ' On Thursday there was no session of the convention, it met at 12 o'clock, Immediately adjourned till 4 o'clock, and then adjourned to the next day. I ap prehended that this delay was in the in terest of an effort to bring about a com promise, and on my way to Baltimore I was told by a delegate, and it was con firmed by another delegate in Baltimore, that this was the reason, and that a committee had called upon Mr. Roosevelt and stated that if he would withdraw Mr. Taft would, and a third man might be selected. But the only, reception the committee met with was the state ment from Mr. Roosevelt, "I am the only candidate," and so the tight went on. ' : ' Taft Delegates Properly Seated. As a careful and disinterested observer, I want tosay that I would have voted with the Taft delegates on every one of the contests that were presented; I made up my mind before the voting on every occasion, except as to the California case, which presented questions of law rather than of fact, and upon which I reached no conclusion until the same point waa presented at Baltimore. But In every one of . the other oases, the statement presented in the report of the majority waa so clear and satisfactory, and pre pared just as a brief In a lawsuit would be, as to carry conviction with It-, while the reports of the minority, and the argu ments of the Roosevelt orators In support thereof were but glittering generalities, In which the word "fraud," "thievery," and "robbery," predominated. The California ease presented the ques tion aa to whether delegates who receive a majority In a congressional district could be overruled by a vote of till state at large through the action of t convention, and upon this vote the Tail delegates, who were district delegates, had but two over a majority of the con vention. The sisiie question waa pre sented at Baltimore where nineteen dele gates from Ohio claimed that they should be allowed to vote as they pleased, or as Instructed, and were not bound by the unit rule of the convention.- The creden tials committee reported In favor of the convention unit rule, but the Convention Itself, decided the, other way, and recog nised the freedoni' of .' the district dele gates, adopting the minority report, for which I voted, having thought over the question after leaving Chicago and com ing to the conclusion that that was the only proper way to decide It. Hew York Independent of an educational charcter. The editorial dlscussiona carried on from day to day are in many papers of great assistance In shaping public opin ion. Articles are published in the daily press gathered from the ends ot the earth from the best literature, from the best minds, both past and present. One could gather from a file of dally papers In this country whole volumes of literary value. These are continually coming into the homes At the people and enriching and enlarging the lives of the readers. 4. The modern newspaper le a medium of intelligent publicity between states and nations. 'j; ,.M- A newspaper is a demooratlo thing. It Is for all the people. One of the essen tial things in a government is that the states In a republic like ours should be acquainted with the history of one an other. The newspapers furnish thli his tory, What once took days and weeks and sometimes years to accomplish Is now brought to publie notice lri short order through the press, and even a country a large as our own, with Its varied inter ests and different local concerns. Is in a remarkable degree unified and knit to. gether through the printed pages of dif ferent newspapers of the different states, each one Uklng account of the doings of the entire people. ; In the same way the knowledge of other countries and their affairs thousands of miles distant helps to unite the Interests of the world. The modern newspaper occupies a large place In the shaping of democracy. . Y are getting rid of the old system under which vast campaign funds were raised, we should adopt a primary scheme whl:h makes the business ot getting a nomina tion as costly as elections used to be and atill are. It is admitted by tn friends ot the presidential primary hat something will have ts be done ,to limit pre-nominatlon campaign,, funds. The system as we. have It today la certain' bad. ! Efforts to reform It will at least serve to show whether or .not high C03t Is an essential element in It." But nevei again shall we have such election cam paigns as those which once shamed u. What happened in 1K4, under the leader ship of the bull moose, to the scandal of the country, will not happen again. We have entered a new era. Those who are despairing of the country and its In stitutions ought to get some encourage ment out ot the great advance that has been made la this matter of campaign fuads. ,... . -,. BanUhna: the Gloom. - Pittsburgh Dispatch. President Ripley says that the west is going to kave the biggest" 'corn crop m ten year. From which we deduce that President Ripley has postponed that ruin which he predicted last year that -was to fan on the railroads by the government's prosecution of them. ookln Backward IhfoDay inOmaiia COHPIUD FKOM BEX rils JULY 28c Thirty Yeare Ago It turns out that William Aust. a popular business roan on Sixteenth street, who, after leaving for a trip to Dead wood, had completely disappeared, per ished in the wilds west of Sidney. Mr. H, Nieman was sent by the Knights of Pythias to bring the body back. It Is the style now to exhibit big corn stalks, and the boss ample adorms the front of Joe Blake'a place. A buggy broke down In the middle, of Fifteenth street, and left the driver sit ting between two axel in the mud. Five wagon loada of poster were sent out to bill the country, for the appearance of Bachelor and Dorris circus here next month. , .-. ' ; Mr.. Luke C. Redfield. the well known Job printed, is the happy father ot a pair ot bouncing boy babies, total weight nineteen pounds. He . resides on South Tenth street, and as this is the-seventh pair of twins In ' that neighborhood in the past year, It la creating quite sJ sen sation. ' The & A M. atheletla association has secured grounds at the end of the Green street car lines. Officers are: president, Q. W. Holdredge: vice president. C. D. Dorman; secretary,1 C. E. Funk; 'treas urer, James G. Taylor; directors, P. S. Eustis, W. Randall, R. N. Taylor, A. Mountmorency. 1 A lively blaze broke out at 7 In the operating room of the Western Union Telegraph company. The heat melted the wires and Ignited the switchboard. It was nearly 11 o'clock before the of fice was again In working condition. Mrs. C. K. Coutant has Returned from a trip to Salt Lake City. W. A. Paxton and eon returned from the east yesterday. . Mr. and Mrs. Peter Johnson, 1213 Cass treet, celebrated their silver wedding an niversary. Their Swedish friends pres ented them with a fine full silver tea Set. The only daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Johrison Is Mrs. John M. Peterson, whose husband Is head painter in the Union Pacific shops at Evanston. . . Twenty Years Ago An important meeting of the Gentle men's Roadster cub was held at the Millard hotel for the purpose of selecting new grounds. Charles A. Coe was chair man. The Omaha Driving association submitted an offer for the club to join with It at Its grounds and the club ap pointed a committee to go over the matter with the association and also consult J. J. Browne, owner of the property at the fair grounds the club had been using for future use. This committee was Hal McCord and Will B. Millard. E. W. Applegate, lately chief operator for the Western Union In 3fmaha, in vented a new Incandescent electric lamp, which, he said, gave GO per cent more light than any other lamp of the kind. He formed a company in Chicago to handle the invention with W. J, Lloyd of the Western Union, as manager. C. H. Summers, . electrician of the Western Union, became electrician of the company. Mayor Bemis and the board of park commissioners were engaged in some little controversy aa to how Bemls park should be Improved. The mayor thought the board should fill the ravine In making the road along the north side, but Dr. George L. Miller and G. W. LInlnger of the board demurred, saying they never agreed to this. But the matter was left unsettled. Prof. Lee G. Krata returned from Lake Madison, S. D., where he had charge of the Chautauqua. Colonel Frank P. Ireland came in from Nebraska City, darted over the bridge Into Iowa, where he went to get some practical pointers on running a demo oratlo state campaign from Governor Horace Boise. Ten Years Ago Miss Grace Vandervoort received a tele. gram from her brother. Fred Vander voort, telling of the death of their father, Paul Vandervoort, from paralysis, at Puerto Principe, Cuba. Mr. Vandervoort had been prominent in political and Grand Army circles In Nebraska for many years. He had gone to Cuba to look after a large tract of land in Which, as a member of a syndicate, he waa Inter ested. Chairman O'Keefe, and members Con nolly and Harte of the county board were cogitating over the probe into the mat ter ot the bridge built by the Standard Bridge company at the poor farm, for which the county waa charged $14,922.69. O'Keeffe thought this was at least Ct cents too mush and maybe several thous and dollars excessive and wanted to In quire into it a little to settle his doubts. One hundred and thirty-five men and a dozen women were abroad the Ak-Sar-Ben special as It pulled, out of the depot for Deadwood and Gould Diets ran and caught It after It got started, which made 138 men. The Twenty-second In fantry band waa there. The train was given bon voyage by fully 200 other boosters. - Reports, of crops compiled by the Bur lington indicated a record-breaking corn crop in Nebraska. When asked about the report that Gov ernor Odell of New York might come to Omaha as president of the Union Pacific, President Horace G. Burt said: "t know nothing whatever about the matter." A woman In Binghamtoa, N. T., was cured ot rheumatism by a stroke of llehtnlng. The great objection to this specific is the difficulty of examining the label before taking. Former Senator Billy Mason le cavort ing around the suburbs ot Illinois politics striving to convince the plain people that his Jokes are new rib-ticklers. Just now Illinois politics have as much use for a Joke aa a graveyard has "Sunny Jim'' 8herman. vice president. for the firei time in thirty years Is obliged to give up all business cares and take the rest eure for sever: months. He has recovered much of hk; strength lost in the niness of last month, bujt not enough to Justify ah early return to the activities 6f public life. t , . , the cigar store trust is about to treat its shareholders to slices of the Juiciest "melon" cut Into this season A stock dividend of two shares to one, carrying the capital from J3.000.003 to 127.000,000. and first pick at a bunch of 7 per cent preferred, la calculated - to make the favored ones bunt up the best stogies in stock, People Talked About POLITICAL SNAPSHOTS. St. Louis Globe-Democrat: The report that some Nebraska democrats will try to eliminate Bryan strikes Tammany as the most astonishing political Item of the day. , Philadelphia Record: It was all very wrong for the Taft lieutenants to steal delegates from the claimant at Chicago; but it Is everlastingly right. If it be pos sible, to steal Taft electors wherever and whenever there may be progressive op portunity. ' Houston Post: Colonel Bryan says he has In his possession 10Q letters written by Nebraskans offering to gi as his sub stitute when he had enlisted In the Spanish-American war. Perhaps they thought there was real danger, or maybe they just wanted to be colonels. Harper's Weekly: We cannot blame the colonel for drawing upon the com mandments for a motto for 1,1s third party; he discovered them, you know. But why, oh, tell us, why did heselect the eighth instead of the first? Pittsburgh Dispatch: When they shut out all corporations, trust magnates and stock promoters from the campaign funds a large number of able-bodied pro fessional politicians will be looking up Information about those positions as harvest hands, where the bands go on auto rides while the employer milks the cows and feeds the pig. ' Sioux City Journal! "At last, I have a free hand," gleefully remarked the colonel. Do you know what he meant? He meant that he was under' no obliga tions to stand by the creed of the repub lican party, but felt absolutely" at liberty to follow his own Individual views In defining, a creed for his new party. It is a lovely position for the colonel to be In, but his followers are not to be en vied. Not one of them Is to have a free hand. They must take what the colonel says as gospel or get out of the party. CHEERY CHAFF. "How did we come to adopt 'The Star Spangled Banner' as our national song?" "As a matter of propriety. That tune "A Hot Time In the Old Town' was es tabltshing Itself so rapidly that we had to do something to head it off." Wash ington Star. Toung Hopeful Ma, what's a carpet knight? Ma (glaring at Pa-One who will put down the carpets for his wife without growling before he'li see her attempt It herself. Baltimore American. "I don't believe any man who turns to golf for his recreation can go very far wrong." "You don't, eh? Say, I guess you don't know how easy it is for a golfer to slice his drive." Chicago Record-Herald. Hub Aren't you almost ready, dear? Wife (with irritation) Why do you keep asking me that questidn? Haven't I been telling you for the last half hour Twelve plemdidl Trams daily Omaha The Best of SCHEDULES OMAHA TO CHICAGO Lv. Omaha 12.05 p. m. 6.08 p. rn. 6.3S p. m. Ar. Chicago 6.45 a. m. 7.45 a. m. 8.30 a. m. Lv. Omaha 7.55 p.m. 8.50 p.m. 12.40 a.m. 7.40 a.m. Ar. Chicago 9.10 a.m. 11.20 a.m. 1.30 p.m. 8.45 p.m.. SCHEDULES CHICAGO TO OMAHA , Lv. Chicago Ar. Omaha . 9.30 11.15 Lv. Chicago 8.30 p.m. Ar. Omaha 9.10 a. m. AU trains arrive at and depart from the new passenger terminal, Chicago -the matt perfectly appointed railway ttation in the world. flThe famous double track, auto- , matic safety signal line between the Missouri River and Chicago. KW2417 ' Every Income Can Afford An Electric Because it saves wonderfully , in . labor does vastly superior work ren ders comfort to the housewife. I . The cost of operating the iron will not be noticeable on your monthly . Mils. Step to your telephone call Doug las 1062 an3 ask our Contract Depart-; ment to send you one to try for 30 days, . You will appreciate the Electric Flat " Iron these hot days. Y.Y;;; ':': Y ' Omaha Electric Light & Power Co. that I'd be ready in a minute? Boston Transcript. If all rleht now. dad'." he said. "The ! bull moose was trying, to butt the e'.e- ' ., . . , ,, jt nut. pnant - overooara. tuvemoa nam. Dealer. "Have you formed any 'opinion as to this man's gujlt'.or innocence?" '.' "I have not, but . I'm not eligible as a. Juror." ;., '. .:. "Why not?". , . , "My wife has." Louisxille Courier-Journal. - .-..-.'..,! , I There was a frightful disturbance on j the lower deck of the Ark,. ..' ' "See what's the matter. Hani," said the ."f,"... ...... The young , man was gone for soma time. Y . ' Breathlessly he ; rushed tnto the law yer's office. "Mv. next-door neighbor is . learning to play the corpet.V h exclaimed. I "The man Is a public nuisance. What would you advise me to do?" i "Learn to play the trombone." replied the antute lawyer. "Ten dollars, please." ; Philadelphia Record. DISSOLVED BEEF. ' New York World. , . ; I 'The Beef Trust has dissolved," he cried, Home-coming to his trusting bride. 1 "Why don't you say ! Hip-hip hooray f And throw your hat around?" But wearily she shook, her head 1 '" And to her Jlmmieboy she said, . "The butcher czar Says soupbones 1 are ' " ' ' Ud twenty cents . a pound.". -T , "Ah!" said the simple altruist. As he perused the butcher's list." , "I trust that you Have lamb for stew ... I Extremely low to-day?"., ...- j The cleaver-operating gent '' Laughed In a way most violent, 1 ; j . 1 And said, "You mutt, ,- t , Talk's cheaper, but " ' Beef needs a higher pay." . "I trust the price, is cut In half- v Upon this caput of a calf." ; ... ,, The newly wed ' . ,: Young housewife said, -' And eyed its forehead nice. v. . The weary butcher simply moaned, "The trust has cut the name Jt owned, ' - Doar lady.- but' - .fr It hasn't cut i - . ... One f ragement of the prlcel'.' . Ah! beautiful it is to see : cv" ' A- trust dissolve by court decree Y And cease to make j.- Our pockets ache . . . In buying bite and- sup! 1 What's -that you- say, my wife dear? I must find something else to cheer?, . His butcher nibs . . , .' Has put prime ribs A ' Another fraction up! ': ' ' between Everything IE IT a. m. p. m. 6.05 p. m. 6.49 a. m. 10.16 p.m. 10.45 p.m. 12.30 p. m. 3.28 p. rn. Tkitt Offices Chicago and and -Chicago I 'NorthWestern Ry. 1401-1403 Farnam Strut v ' " Omaha, Neb. 1H a ,. Flat Iron iiiiiiii Y