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THE BKE: OMAHA. THUKSDAY. FKBliTARY 22. 1912.
The (j5ec'3' fjoiivc Jaa. z. i r p)a
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SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT
Nothing Like That in Rummy's Court
Copyright, lLi National Kws Am,
By Tad
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, Her Washington's Birthday I
V - J
By DOROTHY DIX
l - w
"No." said the woman In sage green.
I am not going to celebrate Washing
ton's birthday this year. I did ao laat
year, and I made, every one of my beat
friends mad. and i've been eatlnc humble
pie-Booker Wash- !
lngton pie, . so to
speak ever since.
"It was like this.
Tou know I be
long to the Colonial
Damea and the.
Daughters ot the
American Revolu
tion, and I'm strong
for hero worship,
and long on pa
triotism, and so I
decided that 1
would have a nice
little celebration of
mr own of the
birthday of the
father ot our
country. And It was
to be a celebration
not only tn outward form, but one that
would preserve the spirit of the- lamented
O. W. and help us to emulate his virtues.
'Thereupon I Invited about a dosen of
my sister D. A. Rs. to luncheon, and It
was one nifty luncheon. If i do say It
myself wtth more maraschino cherries
than O. W. ever saw, and cooked hata for
favors, and the lees In ths shape of Con
tinental soldfrrs, and so oh. But the mala
feature of the occasion was my speech
and Its after effects. '
"t Hied up one that 1 thought would
drive ChaunceV Depew gTeen with envy,
and after I had plucked a few tall feath
ers from the eagle, and. metaphorically,
waved the Stars aud Stripes until my
arm ached. I Impressed It upon my
guests that the value of such .aii occa
sion aa the present was the lesson It left
upon our minds and the noble ideals It
raised up before us. .
"It Is true, my sisters," I said, "thst
we cannot go out and fight for our coun
try aa did Washington, being as how
we are prevented by our sex. and the
present fashions, and there nA being
any war anyhow or anybody to fight, but
we can all follow the great example tn
truth telling set us by the father of our
country, and I propose that on thia day,
Washington's birthday, we let no un
truth pass our lips. '
"This struck us alt as a perfectly grand
idea and there was a chorus of "Splen
did," "Fine." "Lovely." "Such a Subtle
Tribute," 'We'll do Just as Washington
would It he were here." There was only
one dissenting voice-that of Lucia Mor
ris. Lucia la one of those women with
perfectly terrifying common sense, and
she saM that she didn't believe tt would
workv-aad for her part that she didn't
cans for 'the truth, anyway, but much
preferred agoeable fiction. But we all
howled her down and agreed that we
would speak out ust exactly what we
thought.
"Well-yoa know you never can tell
afterward how such things happen-but
the first person to opsn up the conver
sation on the strict veracity platform
was Mary Thompson, who turned to Sally
Harrison, who happened to be anting
next to here, and said:
" 'How do you like my new dress? It's
a Paris model that I got from A little
shop on Fifth avenue where they have
the "Most exclusive things."
1 could see gaily Harrison take a long
breath as tf she were about to plunge
Into Icy waters, then she al:ed: 'Is
It up to me to do the George Washington
act? And we said "see. and then she
blurted out lust whtt we all thought
" 'Bloc I must teU you the truth." ".'.
said, 1 think you are telling a fib that
you can't put ecro-s. Every mother s
daughter of ca krow that dress was
never nearer to Finn avenue, to 7
nothing of Fans, than a Brooklyn de
partment store. Also, I'. Is ten years
too young for you, and It turns a
searchlight on all of your fat, and. alto
gether, looka as If your worst enemy
tad selected It tor you.'
- "Mary turned perfectly white, and there
was a silence in which, if anybody had
I dropped a pm. It would have made a
aolaa like a dynamite explosion, and to
save the situation. Lulu Brown suddenly
asked Msude Montgomery If she'd read
her new story In one of this month's
magasines.
" 'yea.' said Maude, and then she made
a wry face and went on. 'and since I am
pledged to tell the truth. I must say that
I never read more utter piffle, and what
on earth makea you think that you can
write, beats me.'
"Another silence more deadly than ths
first, and then Haiti Wllklns remarked
In a soothing lone of voice:
" 'Merlon spent the evening with us last
evening and w had such a delightful
time." .
.Ppesk for yourself.' said Marlon. 'If
thy middle name Is to be Truthful Jaae,
I must say thst I was never more bored
In my life, and there were times when
that miserable little brat ot. yours was
reciting and singing when I wish that 1
waa Herod, and could do a real service
to humanity by killing off all of the
Infant Phenomenone that fool parents
torture Innocent and Inoffensive guests
with."
"Another silence fell with a dull, cold
thud. Then Fanny Smlthera broke it
with a nervous giggle, and by remarking:
with a nervous giggle. I saw that good
looking husband of your .last night." '
"'Indeed.' exolalmed Mrs, Kllleott. the
poor fellow wae detained down town until
after midnight by some Important' bust
ness. I am mo uneasy aboi't him Tor fear 1
he Is working himself to death. Did he
look very tired T
" "Help me, 0.' W" ejaculated Fanny
piously, for If I'm to state the real
facta In the case I must sdmlt that I
saw him at a restaurant opening bot
tle for - the most gorgeous looking
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The Battle of Zama
J
By Bin'. THOMAS B. GREGORY.
creature In.tli most gorgeous clothes
I ever beheld, end he lonkrd s It he
would survive the Job."
"Well, that was about all. After
that ' It was anybody's fight, sntl mr
guests hurled great solid slices of
truth at each other without a thought
of the damage they, would do, Also
each women flocked by herself as she
went home alone. When they had de
parted Lucia Mprrts ssld to ine:
" 'Well, MHbel, your Waxhlngton party
was a howling success In one respect,
at least. Ueorge W. couldn't have used
his little hatchet to any more effect himself.'
' " 'I.ucla.' ? -responded, 'It's my opin
ion that whlls It may be all right for
the father of his country never to
have told a lis It won't work for the
mothers.'
"And that's ths reason I'm not cele
brating Washington's birthday, Ananias
day, for mine!"
.........
What to Wear and How to Wear It ArUstk Drapery
By MARY MAXNERING.
Women who want to dress well can be
divided into two classes.
Those who follow the fashions with re
ligious sesl and thos who believe In
artletle Individuality.
All the rest may bo said to protect
themselves against the Inclemency of
the weather with clothing they don't
drees.
While on reade a great deal, and hears
even more about the woman who studies
fashions and folio s them, no matter
Into what follies they lead. I really think
the wsli dtt clothing Is the' outcome of
artletle Individuality run wild.
One upon a time a woman with the
artistic soul set out to plsnt a patch of
lawn with grass seed. She felt thst mere
grass was not decorative enough er ex
pressive ef her feelings, and Instead of
the grass seed sh sowed sunflower seed.
By midsummer her lawn presented one
enormous Jungle ot hug sunflowers, and
her garden was the laughing stock of the
entire neighborhood.
In the trailing artistic garments she
affected ah roamed around her Jungle.
It waa aulta impossible to get through
It except moaning over the lost grass.
"I dost know why It's not a success,"
sh would ssy, gaslng at on ot those
great yellow flowers which, biasing away
by the hundreds m the hot sun. made her
garden look about as Inviting as an oven.
"certainly sunflowers ar more beautiful
than grass."
That is the attitude of the untrained
artistic temperament when It Is allowed
to select Its clothes and wear them. It
cannot see the beauty of the utilitarian
grass, and wants sunflowers at all times
n everything. At least sh thinks It
dees.
One of these sunfloeer effects. If I rosy
ua the word. Is the ostrich plume. Xoth-
lng Is lovelier on a hat than one of thej-
beauu'ul willow plumes worn at the right
time and the right pls-. but when I see
a large white plume trailing over a
beaver or velvet hat. appearing early In
the morning in conjunction with a simple
and wen worn walking suit, 1 am re
minded ot the sunflowers sgain. A peonl
grass" hat would look better.
1 saw a dress the other day worn by a
Itttle girt In the chorus who makes sll
her own-clotbea. It wsi a frock of broe.i
aerge, simply mad, according to the
most conventional fastnon of the day,
the regular "stock" fashions. I believe
they are called, which can be found in
all paper patterns. This lltt frock was
relieved by collars and cuffs of a pretty
chlnts with a tiny lac edge.
TJie ehintl and lac cost li cents, but
the colors were so pretty that It at
tracted the e.'e at once and gave the
entire dress a unique and distinctive ap-
Well Handed.
Alexander Richard Henry Rsubea I'eter
Stephen. James Craig Hsotsell Lyter of
Clcrkervlile, Mo celebrated hU eigr.tr
wnth birthday yestsrday with a public
reception. Mr. Lyter carries bis aga and
elongated name easily. Wlta the latter
there la an Interesting story connected.
Mr. Lyter eras born in Bourbon county,
Kentucky and ' his father had nine
brothers, each of whom wanted Baby
Lyter named tor him. o persistent was
sweh uncle In bis demand that the matter
thr eater ad serious family coeapltc&ttons,
and young Lytera parents aeeijed to
comoroaoiae tv namlne- their tior f r alt
his amelM. Thev cast lea for the ord?r Prance.
la which the names were to come. I g:r! cakea aU heracMeve.
Mr. Liter only sacs the name Aiexan-io5" Bl w:' hr ,re usuaHy rnle-i
der In evsry-day busweie tratuamons .uUit:. they are alwaya appropriate and
but to legal docuaeai he affixes his nine corseuer.tly she Is a girt who dresses
alvea names, which In all cases take the i well.
spaca provided for that purpose and an ) Artistic drapao', and w at having
added line betov. I
S-ebraary at. B. C. SOB.
The ball I ot Zama, an of the most
memorable conflicts In all the annals of
war, was fought till year ago In tb
valley of the BograduA near what la now
Kof, in the African province ot Tunis.
Th Komana ' .
were commanded
by the Illustrious
Sclple African ua,
whlls th Catha
genlans war led by
th great Hannibal,
who had Just been
recalled from Italy,
where with next to
no assistanc front
t h Carthagralan
government h had
by hi mighty gets
lus alone main
tained himself for
seventeen years, during which long period
he had killed IMS Romans, defeated then
In many pitched battle, and more than
one brought them to th vary brisk at
national extinction.
But th Rpmana war A virile breed, as
courageous aa they were tough, and th
way they "cam back" at Hannibal has
no duplicate In history. With a heroism
that was literally born of despair, th
Romans held grimly after th great
disaster ot Cennse-ri B. C worried
th Invaders with their Fabian policy,
grew steadily stronger as the enemy grew
weaker, and when. In th spring of KS
fm
m
Hi
a C, Hannibal was recalled, they fol
lowed him ovr th great bin tea to
Africa and Kama. '
At th renowned battle of Zama th
opposing forces war pretty nearly equal. "
Sclpto having about K.OOs and Hannibal
r.em and IN slephents. Th struggl
was kng and bitter, with victory tremb
ling In tb balance) for hour, now In-'
cllnlng on way and now another, until '
finally th . legion prevailed.
Th Cartbagenian army waa annlhll- v
sled. Cannes was at last vindicated; and
th mighty man who had devastated th
Roman land from the Hellespont to th j
Pillars of llercul, and whoa prow'',
bad come very near wiping out th
Eternal City Itself, was a fuglttva without
an army and without A country. ,
Th greatest military genius that th
rac was ever to produe had ftmgttt his"
Isst kettle. The oeurags of th Romans,
backed by their Iron mueclee and In
domitable will power, bad at last beaten (
Hannibal to a finish, and It waa already,,
decreed that aid Cat o s Me waa to be. .
carried out and that Carthage should'''
be destroyed." Th destruction cam a
few year later, when th great city of
fta, Inhabitants waa literally wiped oft
th map-Its Inhabitants eatterod, tt ,
houses snd palaoea and fortifications
burst, and It very sit gen ever wtth
th parw and sprinkled with salt.
Thus ended th mighty duel between
Rom and Carthage, which had lasted
111 years.
r
The Manicure Lady
J
"This la anniversary," said th Manl-
cur Lady, "Ain't you heard about R,
Oeorge?"
"t ain't heard much about It," said the
Heed Barber, guardedly. "Who got
killed r
Th Manicure Lady regarded th Head
Barber with th look a butler might glv
a tramp.
"You poor simp!" sh exclaimed finally.
Ain't you aware that this Is lb anni
versary of th birth of th father ot hi
country, George Washington?"
Where waa he born?'' asked th Head
Barber.
Why In this country." replied th
Manlcur Lady.
If he was bora In this rountry, how
could ha be ths father ot this country?"
the llad Barber wanted Know. "And
then they say he hover told A lie."
'It ain't much -use explaining to you.
George, on account that you com from
a family that haa never went past th
second reader, but I will do tb best I
can to wise you up about the man for
which w ar keeping this anniversary
for.
In the oid days. George," ssld th
Manlcur Lady, becoming serious, "there
was a young man born on th banks of
the Potomao which winds alongside the
silvery Rio Grande through the fields of
Virginia and Mexico. This young man
was named George Washington. He waa
civil boy and when he grew up be
got so civil that he was a civil engineer.
He went out sOerward to fight som
Indiana with a Kngllsh genersl named
Haddock or PoIckS. or some name Inte
that, and he told the Kngllah general
to leave th red coal at horn and wear
khaki, nice and brown, so It would look
like the dead leave on the ground, so
when th Indians began to shoot h could' '
II dewa and neves be sees. I think that .
Mister Washington was giving good ad
vice, too, because whoa Mister Boose,
relt went t war long year after, h",
wor th Sam kind oC a uniform, brown
kaskl, and be never got n bullets
through hint.
"And, oh, Oeorg. that terrlbl Valley r
Forge! where th shot and shell war '
screaming snd where they shored sll our (
gallant soioiers into in nwv w
Balboa, er wherever that frswlng place
was, Ths poor soldier had to walk
around down In that place and freese ;
their feet, and Mister Washington was
right among them sll th time, beraus
he couldn't get out of tb Hole, and he
knew It. But ha waa subllm la hi
ooursg, and when the cruel winter was
over they crawled out ot th Hoi and',;
licked the foe which had Invaded then-
peaceful western lands"
"Say. kid." exclaimed th Head Bar-;-bar.
"what In th world ar yon talking
about T"
"I am talking about th Father of his
Country," said tb Manlcur Lady. '
"Brother Wilfred waa saying to me that
he thought Mister Washington was aha
greatest tlgur la history. Wilfred haa -wrote
a poem and sect It to a magaatne. '
The only trouble about th poem, WIN '
fred save. Is that It won't b published .
and paid for until another year has t
passed. It la Ilk thlA George:
"Washington, thea wonderful fighter,
Thou who never told a lie.
Any man who would decry
Men like yew would bo a blighter.
Grand Columbia a swellest son Wash
ington." "I'm a good deal Ilk Washington," ssld
the Head Barber. 'I never told A II,
and I think Wilfred ought to bay A nice
piece of (arm land and settle down." . r
Tragedies of Common Life
?4IS WANXEUI.NO ILLUSTItATINO THE UK UTIFCL KKI'KCT OK AP.TI.-T IC HIAPERV.
f plenty of .1 these das. is difficult to, some taste. Few omn are beautiful enough to be
vo'ir ewn.akcr
I Woft i
FKiiifal at drapiHl
ttnf n lovk boit-r with :h iari . ar,ic to he untidy, and mott artiste orees
iy tivtr th" l.Jir. hut ulien .ing I. u::t!dv. For that reason. un.ae
it. it Is tetter u leave Cmprd effects t. wird ..mi.i. along or a dm-icht b:os ; you caa cltUise yourself with as Utile'
slone. - our. n isii that one had tunned thf t rt j yr.i i:y 5 you do strangers, beware
Even draping the staff so much worn m-cui;-.- ,n front, croe.tl it at th- bavk of artlsiic "'sunflower'" effects snd stick j
now aa a covering fur tb it tad requliii the head and pinneil It aaln. I to " 'gran j
We do not need lo turn to fl Hon or the
drama for tragedy and romance. They are
abundant on every side and are epitom
ised In the dally papers Hamlet stalk
our streets. Almost every week the cor
oner views the body of DeMlemons. snd
Othello Is held to swalt the action of the
grand Jury.
Love. Jealousy, the bitterness of n re
quited a flection, th hatred of tb rival.
and the despair bred by perfidy, occur to
day as they occurred "When Knighthood
was In Flower." snd they are aa likely
to happen to the woman who sews for
her living and lb man who earns a men.
ger wage parsed out to him on Saturday
la a little brown envelope as they were
to the heir of chlvslry snd the silk-clad
maid In her father's mooted grang or
hla tattlementsd castle. Any treat door
you pass I as likely to shut In a romance
as tbs portcullis that you read ot with
wondering awe. The young man wh cells
you a pair ot shoe may pick up his
mandolin la th evening and be aa good
a troubadour as any you aa com across
In a medieval volume printed in black
letter.
He erorked in a machine shop, and she
In a hosiery mill. Sh sent his presents
back to him and lit a as a longer worth
living, and ha left It with tb aid of car
tone add. He was a private soldier la
th United State army, and kla wit re-,
ctvd a letter treat aaothar soldier, so-'
he ahot her and than shot himself. What
more could th Duka ef angasur to if
he found In th possession at th duchesa
a letter from DM Cart ot Crevecoeare? (
Th paago ot centuries and difference
la social station affect th dothss that w .
wear and our company manners; they
make very little difference beyond that.
Wherever a man and a woman are brought "
together th materials tor tragedy ar'
at band; th Introduction of another mas.
or another woman may compliant th
plot a little, but It at net essential to th.
flam of passkm, rising Into th light of
romance. Illuminating th world with love
or dying down lata Us dull red embers'
ot hatred or crime or ending In th ascent
of despair.- Philadelphia Record.
Keeplsar reap Aesnsetag.
"I am net a eaadtdata."
"But, colonel." I protested, "I doa t
give a rap whether yon are a candidate
or not: 1 want to know whether you will .
be one."
"Great Scott he retorted, with evi
dent displeasure. "Haven't I told yoa
plainly that 1 sua at a naiHlalT"
Judge.