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A Deformity
The Woman Who Wears a
Make Strong Men Quail
By FRANCES L. GARSIDE.
Copyright, 1911, National Newe Association.
Occasionally a man reachca the end of
his daya who had devoted hi life from
childhood to euch frivolous purposes and
trifling vanities that the only creditable
thing that may be said of him when the
end comes Is that at least he was never
tattooed. It la the only folly that escaped
him, and this one folly less gives him
little poet-mortem luster for the reason
that the tattoo man la rarely met.
Had he stood behind a counter In
men's clothing store and handed out a
bright assortment of tattoo designs with
ties and gloves; had hs lain In wait In
public baths ready to tattoo a man's
breast with a picture of his sweetheart
while he waits, not so many men could
claim even this one distinction.
For this reason, perhaps, men should
have more charity for the woman vwho
puts on a veil that gives her face a
fashionable tattoo designs. The beguil
ing clerk who sells veils Is met a dosen
times a. week, and the woman, being
tempted so often, falls. The begullllng
clerk points out that the spider design is
the latest fashion, or that madame would
look -well with a crocodile across her
nose, and madame buys,- puts on the veil,
and, walks the streets, a sight to make
strong men Jua.il and children scream. .
Oculists have protested that veils with
big polka dots and blotches, with In
sects obstructing the vision, are a menace
to the eyesight, and the people who are
compelled to sit opposite this fashionable
form of refined tattoo In street cars pro
test that such deformities have Injurious
effect on their eyes and nerves and sense
of harmony, but the woman who has a
veil with pattern of caterpillars puts
The Manicure Lady
"Ain't you never coming back to your
work regular any more?" asked the Head
Barber, as the Manicure Lady swspt In,
sabled and sweet. " -
"You ain't forgot my Inheritance, have
you. George?" she inquired archly. "You
don't suppose that a girl which has tolled
as many years as what I have la going
to make herself one of them slaves of
the wheel of labor, or whatever It was
Mister Mark ham called them. The way
thing are now, when I want to work, I
work, and when I want to lay off and
have a good time, that's me,. Oee,
George, it's great to be able to turn up
your nore at the whole works.
"I used to be different. George, before
I fell heir to this estate of which I have
told you of. In them days I used to
turn a shade paler every time the boss
came in the room, and I was even that
"W1LFRED SAYS RICHES AIN'T
timid I used to stand for some of your
cruel sentences which to me you did say.
Now, things Ls chsnged about the place.
"Brother Wilfred used to tell me that
riches wasn't anything worth mentioning.
Wilfred, never had any, so I thought he
ought to be an authority on poverty, and
as I never had any either at that time I
didn't feel like contradicting brother. But
now I know better. I have tasted wealth,
George, and from now on finger nails
must be second In the betting, as all you
gambling barbers say."
"You ought to get around here more
regular, though," persisted the Head Bar
ber. "If you don't want to work at all,
why don't you come right out and say so,
to the eld gent ran give the Job to some
poor manicure girl that doesn't have any
fortune? (Some of these days the old iklp
per will tell you to fold up your orange
Hick and clors and silently steal away,
he .ree'
11
of Fashion
Bug - Woven Veil is a Sight to
and Children Scream.
it on, taking pride In her appearance, and
has 'no thought of what her grief, and
suffering Would be If the Lord had
marked her face that way.
She puts on her veil in such a fashion
that her eyes are hidden by the head and
tall of a snake, with Its body bridging
her nose; or It msy be that che didn't
like the snake design, and when she
opens her mouth to laugh the horrified
observer notices a big spider across her
teeth. Sometimes there la a string of
bees flying out of one ear across her
face and into the other ear, giving her
head the appearance of a bee hive, and
often she looks as if the tattoo man had
done butterflies In black ink all . over
her countenance.
It will come to pass some day that some
near-sighted man will give a woman a
heavy slap on the cheek, and his de
fense will be that he saw a venomous
spider there, and when the wise statis
ticians have reached this deformity of
fashion, whch has so far escaped them,
they will discover that a certain percen
tage of delirium tremens Is caused by
men whose nervous systems are wrecked
be seeing bugs and flahworms and alli
gators crawling across their wives'
faces, v
If there were any attractiveness in the
style of a bug-woven veil, there would
be some excuse for a woman wearing it,
for it Is a pleasing trait In every woman
to want to look her best, but it Is a
style that Is hideous, deforming and In
jurious. The woman who wears auch a veil can
not sniff with scorn at the man who la
tattoed. He, at least, doesn't wear this
token of a weak intellect on his face.
J
like them Arabs that Mister Whlttler
spoke about In Whlttler's "Lady of the
Lake."
The Manicure Lady stopped smiling
here, and began doing a little deep think
lng.
"Maybe you are right, George." she
said, finally. "I guess labor is the only
noble thing after all. As Joe Blow, the
bookmaker, was saying in here the other
night, since the days of racing is no more,
labor Is the most noble thing In the world,
only, as Joe aays, he ain't no nobleman.
"Well, George, I am here for a good
long run now, and here I am going to
stay. When I was abroad last month I
brought back some new ideas about trim
ming nails, etc., and I am going to be the
talk of Broadway. Here are some of the
new rules, George:
"Dgn't talk to your gentleman custom-
WORTH MENTIONING.'
era. They will . talk enough.
"Don't ever make pointed tips on the
nails of an ill-natured woman, fhe may
have a husband who hates to be
scratched.
"Don't pay any attention to j anything
whispered In your ear by an undergrad
uate. Make allowances for them and, also,
for their allowances."
"Jt sounds like good logic, most of it,"
admitted the Head Barber, "but the thing
I tipped you off to a minute ago still goes
the way it lays, kiddo. I want you to get
around here more regular."
"You want me to get around here?"
snorted the Manicure Lady. "When you
talk that way to me. George, you must
think I'm pretty dull."
"I should say not," declared the Head
Barber. "You're the only bright girl in
the shop."
"me yaga z, i rp p)a
Officer, Instruct
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Sherlocko the Monk
THE BEE: OMAHA, "WEDNESDAY, NOYEMRKK 29.' 1911.
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The Judge Knows a Good Thing
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Your Constable
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- n - ui ln wwnfnjjJXjurLi-jrunrL
When He Sees It
The Grip of
Ily OAIUIETT
A curious question comes from a cor
respondent, who gives evidence of pos
sessing a good general education, which
seems to have been somewhat neglected
on the side of physics Inasmuch as the
difficulty which
pussies him may
trouble others, it
seems worth while
to answer his ques
tion. "Millions of tons
of ooal," he says,
"have been dug out
of the earth, and
have gone up In
smoke, leaving be
ll I n d apparently
nothing but a
meager .residue of
ashes. la not thla
a direct loss, and is
not the earth mlnue
the weight of all
the coal consumed
since coal was mined?
But for the reception of tela Inquiry
from ao respectable a source I should
have regarded It as unnecessary to point
out that smoke and gas are as much
subject to the control of the earth's
gravitation as solid bodies. The products
of combustion which rise Into the atmos
phere gradually fall back again, because
they are specifically heavier than air. To
get away from the earth's control they
would have to be projected directly up
ward with a , velocity of nearly aeven
miles per second. If they had that ve
locity, and If the resistance of the air
New York
Ily SAM
The cold snap has brought out the fur
bearing creatures In large numbers. Their
coats are all that could be desired, and
that's where it ends with many desired.
Hut they show an amailng variety in
color, length and fit, and along Main
Lane yesterday it looked like a parade
from the ark.
Belief In the theory that the length of
fur Indicates the coming weather has
been seriously shaken, Instead of long
furs meaning a hard winter, they now
mean a fat purse, and scant furs or no
furs at all can be safely figured as the
result of a had market, or that the old
man was on the wmog side when the
line formed at the cashier's window,
But to see a warm and caressing back
ground of fur setting off a pair of pink
chaeks and bright blue eyes as car or
carriage rolls along the smooth roads,
ls a sign that crops or pickings were
good for some of the neighbors.
There are many different kinds of fur
bearing creatures and they show many
different kinds of coats. And it la In
teresting as well as strange to note the
domestic tralta shown by some of theae
coata.
- ' Out of
y SAM
O, actor, out of
You know the l
Would give you work and eke good pay
Driving the ash-cart bay?
O, actor out of a Job, !
A while and then will come the snow;
lias to be moved lad, y'know;
Cheering news that eh, BoT
WW'PflBi,'f?8Si
a Job, say!
, B. C. today
f W Ait Trts A
Jp& UrfoSlP A J
O, actor out of a Job, oy!
Mi
ge
3cL
By Tad
Gravitation
J-
1 8EKVISS.
were removed, then they would escape -never
to return.
Of course, no such velocity la ever lm- '
parted to the smoke and gases arising
from combustion. When Vesuvius la In
violent eruption it sometimes shoota
smoke to a height of six or seven miles,
and Krakatoa. In 1SN3 sent clouds of fine
dunt perhaps twenty miles high, but the
velocity of such particles shot from vol
canoes Is small In comparison with what
they would have to have In order to
throw off the dominion of the. earth's
gravitation.
Singularly enough, while no cannon and
no volcano la powerful enough to over
come the earth'a gravitation oompletely,
a certain force, of which we are ordi
narily entirely unaware, and which acts
only upon Infinitesimal particlea of mat-,
ter, can do it easily. This ls the force
which keeps the molecules of all sub
stances In continual vibration. The vel
ocity to whloh It gives rise varies from
the atomic weight of the aubstance con
cerned. In hydrogen the average veloc
ity of the flying molecules la nearly
aeven and a half miles per second, from
which follows the fact that there la no
free hydrogen in the earth'a atmosphere.
If It was once there it has long ago shot
away into space. But the molecules
oxygen, nitrogen and water vapor, whoss ,
velocities are only about two miles pes.
second, cannot get away from the earth.
All of them, however, could escape from
the moon, where a velocity of a mile and
a half per second would open the way
to freedom, and this, perhaps, is the true
reason why the moon has no atmosphere.
Nature Notes
SMALL, JIU
Ground Keeper Mason Peters walked
into the Forty-second Street Country
club yesterday and areluessly threw
his coat on a chair to free himself for
an approach to the ham. Brother Peters
had Just stepped back with a choice cut
of ham carefully balanced when his coat
suddenly sat up in the chair, waved its '
paws and barked three times. An old
man, mourning the loss of a French
poodle, wept at in lAmlllar, sound
tried to comfort the coat.
and
Nuts, are as plentiful this year as at
any time we remember. Our soil is un
usually productive, and every known,
variety can be found within the limits
of the township. Many have been stored,
away in the nut factories, and the squir
rels have been busy, but the visible sup
ply has not been appreciably diminished.
There are lots of squirrels this year;.,
so many. In fact, that It la hard to dodge
them on Main Lane, and It la a wonder
that aome of the passing automobiles do
not run over them. The activity of these '
bright-eyed fellows Is marvelous, and it
is as true now as ever It was that the '
Broadway squirrel cannot be prevented
from doing a Reno from the ground.
a Job
SMALL, JR.
Buy for yourself the Xmaa Joy,
Bell him q'vlek schon Joy!
O, actor out of a job, hip!
A happy thought the cattle ship.
To Europe, old top, make a trip;
Some scheme, eh, wilt? A pip.
O, actor out of a Job, hint!
I could for reama extend the list.
IMS A HORSP.
Cut I'm quite sure you get me right,
Kt-ul woik eh?
Help!
UOOD NlUUr!!
Xq4 make It by the cusi side, boy,
