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Irih BEE; OMAHA, KKLDA, ShKiEMBLK L9. 1911. . iT
he ee Hne f aga z i rp a
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Conspirator Against Time
By Nell Brikley
CoBTtHtit. mi. Kitiossl
fw AMoeisMoa.
The Good Fellow
I The Boy Scout
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l!y l'KKCV SUAW.
. Have yoj ever thought of the cost of
Jtles? Is a million t-o much to pay for
' duchet i," three-quarter of a million
:oe much for "marchioness." half a roll
Jon too much for "countess?"
Preposterous." you declare, "degTad
rig '. and o en ad Infinitum.
Ask nine oul of ten of your acquain
tances how much they pay for the. Amer.
tan title of "good fellow."
If they tell the truth they will reveal
l tragedy; If they lie. they will conceal
ona. -
Tha title of "good fellow" Is the Amer
tan patent of asinlnlty, bestowed ad lib.
y a long-eared brotherhood, each on the
ther. It Is the hall mark of mutual dls
respect. Like holders of other titles the good
tellow has ancestors; the fact that he
loae not know them encourages him in
possession ; If he could gate on their
jortrells he would hasten to forswear
Unship, but Fate haa handicapped him
y. having long ago markrt them "Not
worth keeping."
Btlll. in compensation, she has left him
lomething-a vivid !maglnatlon-or he
would not smile when others of hit order
srag their ears and bray. One virtue often
counterbalances many shortcomings,
bene tha good fellow may sava himself
through his imagination.
And In this fashion:
He may call to his sober mind's eye a
full pay envelope, a saloon bar and hit
wlfa and children.
He haa taken his wife for better and
for worse, and he hat brought hit child
ren into tha world heedlesa of tha Mal
thuslan doctrine; avldently he owaa them
a good deal.
' Ha meets other men with pay envelopes
and the Issue la joined.
Just as the duchess, the' marchioness
end tha countess must use their andleas
American dollars to keep up their titles,
so ha must use his few American dollars
to keep up hla title.
His wife and children therefore auffer;
whera they might be happy they are
miserable; where they might be proud of
their lord and master they despise him.
Tor one of the demands of the order of
Good Fellows Is Inevitably that the mem
bers shall be Good Fellows only among
Good Fellows.
At the bar he smiles, at home he frowns;
he lenda to another Good Fellow a dol
lar, to his wlfa he denies a dime; he
slaps another Good Fellow on the shoul
der. he strikes his little boy In the face.
If the Good Fellow is not too far gone
ha may see in the shadowy form that
r
Love makes the whole world young, and his chubby fingers are adept at holding back the sands of time.
excites his contempt a face and a figure
remarkably like hla own. If he com
pletes the resemblance he will have
learned one truth every one of the order
of Good Fellows has at heart nothing
but dingust for every other member.
But after all It lies solely with the In
dividual members- of the oldest, most
numerous and most useless titled body
In the world to determine whether they
will forswear their patents.
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McGuire's' Finish
. By Berton Braley.
"I'm the wild man of the prairie," says McGulre, aa in he come, : '
"An there ain't a lhrin mortal that kin put me on the bum.
I kin lick me weight in wildcats, I kin throw the bouncer out,
, I'm the lirin', breathln' image of a terror hear me shout!
I'm a cyclone an' a temptest an' a'ragln' forest fire.
An' my Christian name Is Trouble -an my Irish name's McGulre."
"What," the barkeep answers quiet. "Is the poison you desire?"
Now McGulre he swore an' swaggered in a voice that was Immense,
But he couldn't get no battle,-'cause nobody took offense; -
They just let him rant an' thunder, they just smiled to bear him roar.
An' at last he left the barroom with a temper very sore;
But he slammed the door behind him an he cussed 'em all at that.
An' to show his state of feelings well, be went an' kicked the cat.
RHYMO THE MONK
By Gus Mager
OS Copyright, 1911. Nsttoosl
N.wt AwoclstloQ.
THE SLfMMEfcs ALMOST GOf and THAT
REMINDS HE 1 MUST BUT A HAT
I I tsl. "-a ... m l
VEST
THS 6fiANt) OF 06RBT IS A SiSMT
IT MAKES ML LOOK. A PtftFtCr XGmt
Which, the same, a maiden lady was a-keepln' as a pet,
An' she seen the rough encounter when McGulre and kitty met,
So she loaded with a soapstone an' a teapot an' a mop,
An' she started off McGulre-ward with a holler an' a hop.
An' she handed him his needln's till he fell upon his knees,
An' was hollerin' for mercy, yelllnVStop It, lady, please!"
All the fellers from the barroom gathered round with smllln' lip
When they heard the bad man cheepln' like a chicken with the pip;
An' they seen her drive him homeward in a very rapid style,
An' they says. "That oughts hold him fer at least a little while!"
Which It did an' when there's "Trouble" sort of writ upon his brow
Tou kin mske htm meek an' humble If you simply ssy, "mt-ew!"
"Take a Siding"
An unkind critic is sometimes the best
helper we have. If we are quite sure that
that which wa propose or have dona la
beat then wa may with eaay conscience
stand by our colors. But if the Judg
ment of others, though unkind, happens
to be Just, and if we then open our minds
to the good tnere is in It. wa have
achieved a genuine victory.'
Wa era Ilka a number of trains trying
to go In different directions on the same
track. Congestions are certain to come,
but a congestion need cot degenerate into
a collision If wa win remember that there
are plenty of si dings. Now a "siding" la
a tort of abbreviated second track
whereby trains going In opposite direc
tions aoay pass each other In safety. la
railways they bear curious names; en
tha Invisible pathway of life they are all
called Lova. Sometimes they are nick
named Patience and Common Sanaa. Bo
la oaaa of dagger remember tha sidings.
It la true that wa are not responsible for
others' mistaken notions, but wa are
evermore guilty it wa have willfully al
lowed a wreck of Peace. J. M. Stlfler,
la "Tha righting 8alnt"
A Itoa may be beholden to a mouse.
Pointed Paragraphs.
Many a man mistakes tha echo of his
own voice for applause.
It Is usually a man s idle curiosity that
Induces him to look for work.
Perhaps more men would be glad to pay
their taxes if It were against the law.
ID LOSE NY FRIENDS, IF EVER SSEM
WITH TttkS HERE KeULY ON MY BEAN
VO-41LB in THIS UD A COLLEGg GOT
MIGHT CDK TEMPLATE HIS PHIZ WITH JOT
Real Economy
J
Claus A. Sprecklea. the sugar refiner,
was talking In New York about economies
In tha sugar trade. , - -
"Wa work very economically," Mr.
Sprecklea said, "but we haven't got
thlnga down to such a fine point as tome
folks would have you believe. We are
not quite so economical, In fact, aa the
lady with the pet cat.
"A lady who owned a tortoise shell cat
called her grocer up one morning and
gave her usual economical orden-an . or
der for dried beans, hominy, yesterday's
bread, and so forth and she concluded
with a requeat for 1 cenfa worth of cat's
meat.
"The grocer signed, for this order would
have to be delivered three miles away.
But aa ha was entering tha Items in his
order book the lady called him up again.
" 'Mr. Sands.' she said, 'oh. Mr. Bands!'
" 'Yes, madam.' .
" 'Mr. Sands. I want to cancel that or
der for cat s meat The cat's Just caught
a bird.' "
Malherbe. the French poet, waa over
sensitive on the score of diction. He had
a delicate ear and a refined taste. Being
regarded at tha court as the oracle of
elegant language, he assumed auch an
authority as to be called "the tyrant of
words and aylliables." When tha poet
was dying his confqssor, In dilating upon
tha Joys of paradise, expressed himself
Inaccurately. "Stop!" cried Malherbe.
"Your ungrammatlcal style Is giving me
a distaste for them."
By THOMAS TAPPEK.
How many American boye have Inquired
tha exact meaning of the word "scout?"
It la an interesting word.
And It means: To har with attention;
to lltten.
This shows you that scout la a great
and sublime word, in that It brlnsa to
mind, when you understand it, the ona
essential habit every person must form
In oruer to do either good uem work or
good Individual work. That one habit la:
To hear with attention, 'and than go
ahead and do what you have been told
to do.
Thla one fact of following dlrectlona la
so valuable that it alone will keep the
boy acout movement alive, even If noth
ing ele recommends It.
But many other things quite as val
uable do recommend It.
Cf these the first is this: It provides
you with all the "gsng" company you
want. A "gang" Is a good thing if it be
a decent one, devoted to some purpose
that does not include destroying prop
erty and doing the rowdy act generally.
Dr. Luther H. Gullck of the Russell
Sage Foundation haa written about this
gang spirit of you boys, and ha does not
Icondernn It He says qf it that It Is
fyour natural Impulse to be with your
mates. It Is nature's call to go out and
learn what other boys are like, and with
them to learn the social spirit.
Hence school gamea are a great Insti
tution. They bring boys together and en
gage them In doing soma one definite
thing. i
And your school games are not mere
Idle pastime either. You learn honest
team work; to keep your places; to hold
up your end of the game; to play fair.
Later in life, when you are at work, you
will find that Just exactly these qualities
and actions will bring you success. It la
merely another game, and one of the
greatest games ever Invented, for It per
mits you all sorts of "gang" Ufa. and
sets body and mind at work In a game
Of great Importance.
Now, the boy acout movement Is that It
teaches you to be prepared.
The people who do not make good are
they who are not prepared.
One sscout master (and' there are now
,500 of them registered with the national
organisation), who has twenty boys, re
ports that they ere working at acout
activities with all the earnestness that
they play ball. They go to camp for a
week or more. Local doctors teach the
boys "first aid." One of his boye, born
In the great woods, has taught the others
woodcraft. They have all quit cigarette
smoking.
Factory man are anxious to have their
boys learn the scout activities.
WhyT
Because the result Is a better boy and
better worker.
Tha boy becomes more manly; he can
think for himself; he becomes self re
liant and these are the very qualities a
boy must depend on -to be a success In
business or In anything else.
Aa Dr. Qullck aays. the gang aplrlt ie
a very natural one.
There are two kinds of gangs.
The first kind la of boys who:
Tell like madmen'.
Interfere with other people.
Smash car windows.
Frighten women and children.
Steal signs.
Try to play ball In the cars.
And more of the same.
Their motto Is: Smash everything.
The other kind Is of boys who ere:
Playing an earnest game.
Hearing with attention.
Following directions.
Learning something. '
Quitting bad habits.
And more of the same.
Their motto Is: Be Prepared. 1
GOOD OAt, GOOD Oat Now ruis is
PLAT
I'll wah mt battered summ mat 'J
OH WHAT A ST-PltCE - IN fH Xri
IT DOESN'T SUIT M 6T A miuE i
The Hungarian Revolt
J-
By REV. THOMAS B. GREGORY.
September 2t. 1848. .
filxty-three years ago today. September
39, 1841, the Hungarians began their
memorable struggle for Independence,
Appointing a provisional government un
der the leadership
of Kossuth and
Batthyany. they
threw down the
gage of battle to
the Auettians, and,
though falling to
make good their
challenge, their
heroic struggle en
listed the admira
tion and sympathy
of all mankind,
save the few Utt'.t
cliques of believer
In the antiquated
doctrine of the "dl
vine right of kings
as against the rights of humanity ii
general.
'. .4 N
It there was ever a revolution that was
completely Justified, it was the Hungarian
revolution of 1848. A great people ware
being treated as though they were chil
dren. The commonest rights of mankind
were denied them. They were cruelly op
pressed, and on the soli that had belonged
Three Wishes And Their Realization ' '
Artist Herriman's Idea of Which Trio Should Be Chosen
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to them from of old. thw .i.
elves, to all Intents and purposes, the
slaves and hirelings of the foreigner.
Inspired by that incomparable patriot
and prince of orators. Louis Kossuth
they raised the standard of independence
and pledged themselves to die. if neces
ary,' Tor the liberty that was dearer to
them than anything else in the world.
And right manfully did they uphold their
righteous cause. In battle after battle
they beat the Austrians. and the pros
pects of their victory were growing;
brighter every day. Austria waa upon th
verge of recognizing Hungarian Inde
pendence. And then something happened. The
exar of Russia, chronic enemy of human
rights and human progresa. came ta
Auatrla'a assistance, and the doom of
the Hungarian cause was aealed. The
patriot could not hope to win against tha
nighty odda that were created by the ad.
'nt of the giant power of the north.
Itill they fought on. strengthened Dy tn
hough of the holy causa for which they
re pouring out their blood and treas
ure. Defeated finally, they preserved ,
their honor and self respect untarnlahad,
and when, by the logie of war, they
dropped back Into the old situation, they
had nothing to regret They had done
all that breve and honorable men could
do to secure to their children the freedom
which belonged to them, -and there was
no room for aay kind of solf-reproaco or
shame.
There are inanv nf nn, iui. .., ......
who will remember with a thrill the vtalt
oauth made to the United
6Utee In 151 at tha Invlutlon of con
grass. Our country could not eld the
Hungarian In any subetantial way la
their struggle for freedom, but It could
at least show Its sympathy with their
cause by Inviting Its eloquent spokes
man to be its honored guest Kossuth's
visit was a benediction to us. and like
the glory that lingers la the western sky
after the sun haa set. the memory of
that visit la still one of our most beauti
ful possessions.
PereoaaJ Oplaloaa.
Thera are peonla who rrA h-
elation of their own country as a positive
I luxury. epencer Leigh Hughes.
A trial la eurlouslv ilka a niv.
forgets that tha words and the features
are part of a seal action, and not a mini
I show where tha actors are but shadowa
Jamoa Dougla. . .
