TKK BEE: 0MAI1A, MONDAY, AUGUST 21, 1911.
flU The &ee'g flnyp M aga z, i rg p)a
r
Bleat of the Innocent Bystander
The BEES Junior Birthday Book9
i
mi ii i nisip inwmw jLVJ 1 j
"Listen," commanded the Regular Fel
low. "A Chicago woman admit she spends
tl.Kii y year on powder and other cos
metic." "liC.w ran she have the face to do It?"
demanded the Innocent Bystander. "Face
to admit It, I mean, not to receive the full
fore of that Jl,S'0 blast of complexion
powder. cosmetics, perfume and toilet
water that she Itemised. Hef face In a for
tune to cosmetic elle:ii."
"Of .ntiraa vnn nut It rather SlTOn .
quoting the figure at $175.' If I remember
correctly thn lailv merely mif-nds n paltry ;
$460 a yeor In Bivlr hrr f-nnt!rtlc 1
whitewashed appearance which Is a kalso-
,nlna of wealth to tho dealer in i.omnlcx-
.The rest vti spent for perfumes.
tollelt waters, halrdresslng, manicure and
cositieflos. Think of It! Only JVO a year
on map powder, only a llt'le more than a
dollar's worth a day. Ild you ever have
a dollar's worth of face powder at one time
ahdriC so, did you ever try t- put It all
oh aH bnceT' '
"! should Imagine one would have to
Wliji 'In It, particularly If imo were a
worrten pri-paring for the opera or dinner.
!Inwrer, maybe It's possible that the
womad In this cane doesn't patronise the
l-enta-a-tln-shaker style of powder that
tou' Indulge In after shaving. Anyway,
when one Uvea In Chicago ono has to be
spraying one' features with powder every
other minute to cover up the film of coal
soot which wafts along from the river
tugf and lake front locomotives.
"Wa get a Una on the olassy brand of
tuff sho buya when the lady says that
the special, amellees or insidious perfume
tha she buya to the tune of H00 a year
cost $7.60 an ounce. I suppose when she
hast used up $1,440 her beauty will have
tha twelva-po'.ind look ofaweetnesa and
ceijtslblllty.
"jtnyway, ahe holds her bill for other
cosiietlca down to IZ75 a year, and that's
31 I
i'OWDEH.
pretty conservative for a modern woman
that 1h, a modern wopian who can pry loos
enough coin to sink $1,S75 a year on beauty.
Of course. It would be Impolite to Inquire
whether that 1276 was for roay cheeks or
cherry red lipe although in some of our
best overdreHsed circles lately I've noticed
that the prevailing favorite Hp tint Is a
vivid brick red although it might have
been more appropriately a brick gold.
"Of course, the women answer to all this
that they decorate themselves the way
they do to please the men. Yes, they do,
yes! A Pittsburg woman pleased her hus
band so well by dyeing her hair after
twenty years of married life that hubby
started in to break up housekeeping and
everything he could lay hands! on. He re
fused to be a chromatic widower."
"What's a chromatic widower?" asked
the Regular Fellow.
""One whose wife dyes," explained the
Innocent Bystander.
(Copygriht, 10U, by New York Herald Co.)
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!. A Few Remarks Concerning the Mule I
Bjhold tha mule! Around ma ague xorin
rax the discussion, or. science aim
th flrsof hatred and of love, the
of contempt and the plaudits of
Ion, says a writer in tho Vhlladel-
Itforth'. American. Into the arena of
thel! world-wide argument he nas oecu
drlln, sllsnt and patient as or oia; numu
the 'discretion of tha centuries, wise
the lariLot tV species.
lit is dun. of wit and stubborn of dispo
ne he la brilliant of intellect ana nmu
le thtfuUl' dove he is no better than
ratJier. tha Jackasa;.he Is endowed with
a qjallty of (enlua that la superior to plain
horfe ene;h, Is a hyterlpa,l old maid
and) ha la' a 'Irertfleman and a soholar; ha
has 'tt sens enough . Ui com . In .when ,t
rati s and fie Is better qualified to ron tha
wes (her bureau than Its present admlni-
tr1 on. ., .
Of er in London Prof. Wyndham CotUa
of the Royal Colleg- of 'Surgeons, and In
the) Isle of Wight Dr. R. Conyngham
Brfwn. both, prominent members of the
Tjnn.i Bnrlntv for tha Prevention of
V cruflty to Animals, hava been investigating
Vthejtralt of imiHcbneas from the mystert-
3ua; beast's phlnxllks head to his alto
ISifter Irresponsible heels, and they don't
I thirSk much of him.
They aort of pity hlra, as wa do human
Idiots. His Jcussedness, his stubbornness,
his imagnitlcebt wrath and his natural-born
klci-all these are neither his fault nor his
lotV- They are merely symptoms of his
affliction.
The mule, these astute scientific gentle
meft agree, la Just a poor, miserable, wealt-
nerted, hysterical apology of a critter, who
ra bivaiiably either paralysed with anger
or icared Into catalepsy by fear. When he
balks he Isn't determined not to move; he
Is njerely Involutarlly unable to move. His
emrfVona are suffocating him, and all the
tl"f yu - lambasting him his over
whelmed soul Is vacillating between unut
teretl shrleka for home and mother and a
passionate yearning to kick where It will
hurt the most.
Bnt listen to an American lover of the
mu(r. Sit Klndig of Philadelphia, who ha
haniled thousands of the long-eared ani
mals and is considered an expert. He says;
"the mulj a fool! .Why. he has mora
brMns In his heels than plenty of people I
knaw have tn their heads. Nerves T Why,
If I sheer, unadulterated nerve, multiplied
abViut a hundred times. Is slated by artth-
mrvtto tr irn Intn tha nlnra.1 Anil thn AimoMrA.
V yeaj the'mule suffers from nerves. Mad?
Oh;, any ' minute of the day; maddern a.
bartel f hofnets and twice as able to take
jv'aii himself. But paralysed and hys
li terkral? Not so long as he can take a
chujik out of your shoulder with his teeth
or land you somewhere in the vicinity of
Ararat with hla heels.
'the mule In the best.' bravest, brainiest,
kindest, antjonal that , walka on four leg.
Nobody "realise the enormous strength a
mule oaA muster if his driver knows how
t ftnllst Ms Interest. A horse Is a weak
lln beside, ilm; a chronle Invalid as well
a V feol. .The bore Is always liable to
corti; I've never seen a single corn on any
of Jhe thousands of mules I've handled.
I'vf never aeen a mule Idiot enough to
kjeiv bjmanlf at his feed. Take a horse
te il stall, whatever hla condition, and
he) glut himself on grain It It' there,
an It kill JUnv Take a mule In. all over
heated, and he won't touch his oat until
he tha prepared himaelf with plenty of
ha j. -Put, s snule la the circus and he'll
r-1 : :
s
amaze the populace with the tricks he'll
learn. Make a friend of him and all you
have to do is to refrain from making him
an enemy and he'll work himself to death
for you. Exaggeration? Not a bit of it.
"The weather bureau has an average of
about eighty-five correct guesses out of
100. on what'a coming to us; but the mule
has an unbroken record of 100 flat. He
never falls to raise Cain when a storm's
at hand. If the government knew its busi
ness it would fire the whole weather bu
reau and keep a herd of mules.
"And talk about a mule kicking because
he's in a comatose- condition, with emo
tional attachments! When a mule, kicks,
he kicks to put something out of business,
and that something has usually .been Inter
fering J'WIth his . hjrht to the pursuit of
happiness, it we oauid only uaa the-mule
marksmanship in : the navy, nil' the gun
pointer Vould be stoking coal. . He not
only kicks because he wants to kick, but
he kicks a bullseye erery Hckj '-A- horse
Is a lobster beside him' -1
f
Odd Superstitions
J
A collection of tallow rifting up against
the wick of a candle waa styled a winding
sheet In olden times, and deemed an omen
of death in the family. A spark at the
candle denoted that the person opposite to
It would shortly receive a letter.
I S V WmXT MI VHU1J.
If pigs be killed when the moon Is In the
wane superstitious people believe that the
bacon when cooked will waste away.
From the earliest times ornaments fash-
toned In the shape of crescents have been
regarded as potent charms to ward off evil
spirits.
In Mecklenburg it is thought that it a
nail be thrust into a man' footprint he
will go lame.
v
Skins of seals and hyena were believed
by the Greek to be effective protections
against lightning.
Old-time actors had a superstitious aver
sion to the peacock appearing In any form
on the stage.
In fixing the wedding day May, among
month, and Friday, among days, are
shunned by people in all walks of life. -
Fairies In the Highlands of Scotland are
all supposed to be' drowned In a place
called the Ferry. Desiring to cross, they
asked an old J woman if the water was
deep, and in Gaelic she replied: ' "At
tempting to cros ther were submerged,
though It's black. It Is not deep." In at-
.. WBm mmm f iff;
tttmmrr. in. it tw mm wm umig tii e4t-srw wm nculb etx M ttrmwi
' ;
Loretta's Looking Glass-Held Up to Girl With Bad Table Manners
TTrfst (1 s)V"il T sWl-ssrtl gsYMtlT ll V ' jj-s-"w-"II 11 n 1 3ft
JL3
293
BKATRICK BIMCK.
North Twenty-fifth Street.
This is fhe
Day We
(elehraie
August 21, 1911
Ruth J. Alcorn, 3328 Manderson St Monmouth rark...l8)
Josephine Alexander, 1443 South Fourteenth St Comonlua 1897
Corlne M. Anderson, 4210 Nicholas St - Walnut Hill 1J04
Rasmus P. Anderson. 613 Mi Pacific St Pacific 1897
Pearl L. Austin. 2872 Pratt St Howard Kennedy. .1S89
Lena Baker, 2226 Mason St Mason 1899
Deatrlce E. Black, 2923 North Twenty-fifth St Lothrop 1$0G
Ruth E. Botts, 606 North Twentieth St Central 1903
Agnus Bozdech, 1314 Garfield St Kdw. Rosewater . .' 1900
George E. Brown. 2124 North Twenty-sixth St Lona; 1904
Margaret Campbell, 8354 South Seventeenth St Vinton 1900
Margaret Casey, 3203 South Twentieth St Vinton 1837
Mayer Cohn, 846 Georgia Ave Park 1896
Irene Cohoon, 1415 Ohio St Lake ' , 1901
Burt M. Corliss, 2323 8ovth Thirty-second St Windsor ........1902
John David. 1408 William St , .Comenlus 1904
Robert English. 625 8outh Thirty-first St Kurnara 1904
Alice Fay, 2604 Emmet St Lothrop 1905
Gerald E. Fltt, 2623 Spencer St Lothrop , 1896
Sarah Fogelman, 1110 North Seventeenth St Cass 1904
Arthur Glasgow, 3815 Ames Ave High 1894
Herbert A. Goodland, 2145 South Thirty-fourth St. . .Windsor 1899
Leonard W. Grace, 2926 Indiana Ave Webster 1899
Jacob Graceman, 1431 North Nineteenth St Kellom 1898
Harry Humphrey, Forty-third and Webster Sts. . . . . .Central Park 1902
Ruth E. Johnson. 2203 North Twenty-seventh Ave. . . .Long 1901
Ameta Kaer, 3615 Hamilton St Franklin 1900
Lee F. Kenney. 1822 Plnkney St. ..
Earl Lancaster, 3109 Sherman Ave.
Margaret Virginia Laird. 635 South Twenty-fifth Ave.
Willy Lindee, 1620 South Twenty-fourth St.
Walter Lindell, 704 North Thlrty-thlrd St..
Henry Lucas, 1823 Spencer St.
.Lothrop 1904
.Lake 1896
.Mason 1899
.Park 1900
.High .1891
.Lothrop 1904
OrUla ( Hlackaar4.
Scullion and lower servant of the Eng
lish court who were clothed in sable gar
ment were originally called blackguards.
Gibbon Informs us that "those who car
ried coal to the kitchen, or rode with tha
pot and pan, were is derUiion called the
blackguards."
A proclamation issued in England in
16S3 officially recognized the title by ap
plying It to "vicious, idle and masteries
boy and rogue, commonly called the
black guard, with divers other loose fellow."
What is the matter with us women? Why
can we never bring oure!ves to a point
where we recognise the advisability of
keeping everything good that the paat ha
developed In and for us, while w appro
priate all the advantages of the present?
Girls now laugh at the old-taahloned
"Pretty is as pretty does," but it' true.
And men are the very first to appreciate
that particular kind of beauty.
A view of a oafe Is enough to make an
open-eyed being wonder how long It will
be before the human race relapses Into that
particular phase ot evolutionary progress
which produced the hog. Not because there
Is so much eaten! No, indeed! Just because
It 1 eaten with such flagrant disregard
for the small graces which differentiate
the human animal from the four-legged
variety.
Have you seen a fat porker with It front
feet on the fence, voraoloualy awaiting the
arrival of the bucket that convey It food?
And have you seen a fat woman with her
elbow on the table watching the waiter
who approaches with a salver of viands?
Isn't there a striking resemblance?
I am the last one to advocate the "old
fashioned" wom-ui a the model which we
should eopy. But it looks a wast that of
fends my Idea of social economy to cast
aside all the excellencies that that old
fashioned aister had perfected when we
need all the charms and graces we can
get! Table manners were a specialty of
the women of a generation earlier than
ours. So were small waists and the faint
ing habit. Maybe one reason we are so so
so well, here I say It, even If it is rather
dreadful, so beastly, Is because we have
larger waists and do not faint. Wa need
more food, so we cannot mince over it. But
we certainly need not lop over the table.
The languid loll of the belle of a day gone
by inspires the athletic girl of today with
amusement. Tet the tennis champion and
the golf expert appropriate it when they
sit down to eat Which la worse to loll
as th old-time belle did in a place suited
to lolling, divan or chalse-longe, or to lop,
a does th girl ot aow, over the edge of
the table wtth elbow-outposts well ad
vanced toward the epergn in th center ot
the festal board?
It ha been th custom to say that you
can tell a gentlewoman by the way she
eats. I should hate to think that the de
ciding point, for there would be a verdlot
awarded few ladles! It' an offensive fact
that ladle the real ones, not Just the so
called actually allow th loose manners of
th women who dress a well or better
than they do to influence them. Tea, they
do. Tou needn't take my word for It. Just
visit any hotel or cafe. It you can tell
the ladies from the others by the way they
take their food, you do it by an intuition
that transcends the power of mere vision.
Not long sine 1 heard the cheering
new that a girl who wore the prettiest
clothes of any member In the freshman
class at a certain school, and whose record
In her studies left nothing to be especially
desired, was barred from the sorority she
particularly wanted to enter because of
her table mariner. I was cheered. It
seemed a sign that the standard was rising.
But f saw the girl eat! And I knew that
the rejection of her was not an evidence
of the dainty taste of the sorority. It was
simply an evidence of her being too awfully
awful. For one of the other girls edified
the banquet table by aiming a small piece
of Ice at the tall glass by her plate and
neatly hitting the mark. The ice 'was shot
trom her mouth.
Oh, you needn't say she was an excep
tion. She is the daughter ot rich and sup
posedly refined people. It' Just this
hideous carelessness of table manners that
festers like a diseased spot In society.
Ethel F. McCullough, 2609 North Twenty-Becond St. .Lake 1899
Florence McGulmsey, 808 Hickory St Lincoln 1897
Theresla Meier, 2213 South Fifteenth St St. Joseph 1901
Pearl M. Miller, 4013 South Tenth St Bancroft 1896
Leo Simon Nelgen4 2104 South Fifty-first St Beals 190"
Lillian Millie Nelson. 2104 South Fifty-first St Beals 1905
Galen Newlln, 620 North Seventeenth St Cassr 1900
Alice Nichols, 3516 North Forteth Ave Clifton Hill 1899
Edmond O'Toole, 2807 South Thirty-second Ave Windsor , 1902
Laura Feters, 3305'Burt St Webster ......... 1 898
Fred Peterson, 1520 North Thirtieth St Franklin 1900
Joe Pleuler, 1417 Plerca St comenius .iu
Verner Rand, 710 North Twenty-second St Kellom 1901
LcRoy, Richardson, 4760 North Twenty-fourth St Saratoga 1900
Loula Richardson, 4760 North Twefty-fourth St Saratoga 1900
Francis Rosslt, 4018 North Twenty-fifth Ave. . ..... . Sacred Heart ioj
Harold B. Savage, 2517 South Thirty-third st wmasor ........ nvi
Catherine Savidge. 2228 Maple St Lotnrop iau
Elner Seaholm. 3338 Spalding St Druid Hill .1901
Edith Skupa, 911 Atlas St -Edw. Rosewater. .1904
Margaret Turnqutst, 309 North Twenty-third St Central 1901
Anden Walker, 2114 Clark St Kellom 1897
Philip Yonsen, 973 North Twenty-seventh Ave Webster 1899
The "Iiittlest Broiler" at the Ball Game
Doolin Was Stubborn
People in the matrimonial state, despite
Its popularity, evidently do at time chafe
under Its bond. Evidence of it 1 found in
the court report. There' Mr. and Mrs.
Charles Doolin of Decatur, III. They should
not have married, but they did and peace
fled. During the last five years their do
mestic troublea have been aired In court
twenty-three time, and fifty warrants
have been sworn out. It developed at the
appearance of th Doolin in court, last
week, that Mr. Doolin had not taken a bath
for twenty-four years. Disinclination at
having the hublte of a lifetime changed to
conform to a mere woman' whlma caused
friction In the Doolin family, or waa one
cause of the friction there. Ot course, a
man can get along wtth a woman Uk this
by continuous yielding, but Doolin was not
mad of such pliable material. He wa th
rock against which these silly feminine
notions beat In vain. One would think it
would be better to take a bath than to go
to court, but we don't know Doolin. It was
doubtless a matter of prlnolple with him.
A man will suffer tor his convictions as we
know trom history and observation. Ho
wilt even die tor them. And at that they
are probably wrong. Minneapolis Tribune.
England ha tho honor ot first making
cruelty to animals a distinct subject of
public attention by legislation enacted in
1st.
Irfue wa In use in Venice at an early
period and it wa known to the ancient
Greeks and Romans. It Importation Into
England wa prohibited in 14S3 to protect
the domestic manufacture.
What' the matter with your face?"
asked the Littlest Broiler a Jean Louise
appeared In the wings for tha chorous
dance cue; "the skin Is all peeled and
your nose looks as if it had heard bad
news from home."
Jean Louise sighed. "I've been out t
the ball game, and believe me, that Is
enough to do more than Just take the skin
off. Say, did you ever sit in the sun for
three hours and ruak faces at yourself?
That nice Clark man rang me up and
asked would I go to see a ball game. I've
been handing out a nice line about how
athletic I am and how I love outdoor
sports, meaning Clark mostly, so I thought
it was up to me to go. But I'll never
boast of thing again.
"We went to he game in a sreet car,
and I had to pretend I wasn't used to
them. You know how It Is you raise your
head In haughty disgust, say something
about the mixed crowds, and then un
consciously reach out for a strap. Every
body else In the civilized world tries to get
that same - car.
"When we did get to the game Clark
got a couple of nice seats right In the
sun and then proceeded to have a good
time. His Idea of a good time consisted
In telling me u, lot ot unintelligible stuff
about a lot of men I didn't care anything
about, and Interrupting himself at fre
quent Intervals by Jumylng to his feet
and uttering noises. Isn't It funny how
men act at a ball game? Men who are
almost human beings most of the time will
climb all over each other, yell, scream,
and bit because a bunch of hired ball
player run around a square, or don't.
"If I could have only told which ball
players were good looking I wouldn't have
Well, What Dou You Think of That?
T (?)
tAI
y 1
COO-Coo!
coo -coo'
WELL.
WHAT CO
YOU
TMtrtK or!
THAT? 1
I
r
3&
fM. C.OO
Coo- Cool '
Coo-Coo'
Co Coo
WHAT?
I HAVE
TO t-WAKK
A CALL.
AT A.
o'clock!.
Mill ghi
I lr?W
7
J V I a V I
s .1 r 1
minded It so much, but you know how It
Is they are Jut far enough away o that
you couldn't tell whether the star player
was the one who looks like your favorite
actor or like the cross-eyed man who
brings the vegetables to the back door.
"I know all about baseball, having road
the Inside story In one of the magazines
that expose things, but that didn't help
me much at the game. As fur as I could
tell the game consisted of the player get
ting tired of standing In one place. Then
either they would run around a bit tor
exercise or go and sit down or fight about
It. Every now and then one bunch would
quit and another would take it place.
It's a lot more exciting to watch a game
of croquet at a country plcnlo. At least
you can tell what's going on then.
"Of course It was Just my luck to strike
a game that lasted a long time. When It
was time to quit somehlng was the matter
with the Bcores, both being even, so in
stead of giving both of them the game,
like you do at a progressive euchre party,
they kept -on playing and playing. And
my back hurt from sitting still so long,
and some dust blew In my eyes, and my
foot hurt, and my hair got loose, and the
powder all came off of my nose. O, it is
a lovely game nit!
"When it waa all over- Clark said he
liked to take a girl like me to the game
because I understood it so well and didn't
ask foolish question. And we got a taxi
to town and had a real supper with three
kinds of dessert. I love baueball, but the
next time I'm invited to a game I'm
afraid I'll have to refuse. While I could
stand running In the hpotlight, I can't sit
It outxwhen I'm spotted by the sunlight"
St. Louis Olobe-Democrat.
Administration of an oath In judicial
proceedings wa Introduced into England
by the Baxons in 000. . -
All Alone Perhapa.
11 r
