0
The ,ee'g ne yag&z. i ip a e
w
5iffl$Mlin3rs3'iiiBto
Jr.- . ....... 355
HBleat of tlie Innocent B y stander
)
sT
Wall, the utt-nnokcn hav formed a na
tional association to aupprveai as amoks
nuleancea." aald th Regular Fellow, blow
ing a puff of Havana elood.
"Tep. Where there la amnae there fnuat
be noma stickers, "replied the Iiumcnit Ry
tander. "A lot of air reformers m la K.
led by old Dr. Wl'ey. who taller that U
the pura all food la Impure, I would not b
Burprlsed If he started a poison aqnad to
Rmoke vanoos brand a of "rope,- para Ha
vana grown In Connecticut, with the Idea
that 'If given enough rope they stranjrla
thenmelvea. thus rrovtng hla point. Met ba
gets plenty of volunteer, too.
"AH .Joking ,il. though. ItH be ona
Brand day wheaw hav a little band of
' x w '4 - ' .
est aouU arlH put the lid on these
peeta rho. raenble Unto aubwaya and el
rated train's of street cars flaring a trail
of (moke derplte large ' signs . and larger
special policemen, neither of which aeem
ta do the nuppressrng' trick. The man who
fella into a Beat arid surreptitiously puff
hla amoke Jo , keep. It going ought to be
squashed. .- . 'i -i
"Amf aa bad Are the tightwad who carry
cold cigar , Into. the car after they have
let the light go out. You may- break, you
may shatter-the cigar brand If you will.
buf the Went of that dead dgmr will linger
around atllV . ..
"You'll notion R ln't' poor but honest
worklngmaft who OfWU It either. Maybe It
la because h smokes a pipe that he can
whack os hla heel when ha enters', car, or
maybe tie can't afford o smoke cigars ex
cept at" election time and then' only at the
peril of hla life and vote. But It Is the
well dreesed man who has such contempt
for dffecttnfoTt of ethnrs that he carries
the butt right along and lets It glow. He
doesn't care whether It endangers the
fllmay gown of some girl hanging to a
strap over htm or not.
"These reformers aren't going to stop at
suppressing car smokers, though. Nope.
They'ra going to prevent us from lighting
up In restaurnnta, hotels and ether public
gathering. Poeslbly the day will coin
when a smoker will have to creep away
Into a smoke-proof booth for a local or
long distance amoke. Happy days! The
reformers ran start in on the newest noise,
the woman who will smoke In a hotel. If
they can suppreas her they can go right
ahead and stop smoking automobiles and
volcanoes. "
"It take strong men to suppress . a
moke." said the Regular Fellow.
"Right o! Jeffrie couldn't do it last
year," agreed the Innocent BystAnder.
(Copyright, 1SU. by th N. T. Herald Co.)
if
Foiled Again
"When I took a night train out of St.
Louis to get off at a small town In the In
terior of th state," said A New York,
drummer, "I was due at th place At mid
night, but waa told there was A hotel bandy
to th depot. I reached the town to find
that the hotel had burned and that I must
walk half a mile. I was doing th stunt
when a man on an opposite corner raised a
gun and opened fir on me. I stopped In
stead of running, and stood there while he
fired five mora bullets at roe. Then I
crossed over to him and asked:
"Say, what th devil are you doing. Any
how r f
" 'Shooting st your be coolly replied.
" 'But for whyr
" 'Because you r A burglar.
" 'But I'm not. I'm a drummer and on
my way to th hotel.'
" 'Hang th luck!' exclaimed th man as
ha turned away. 'I've ehot at aa many aa
a dosen men In this last six months, and
every one of them has turned out to be
a drummer. It's mighty discouraging, but
I'm going to keep right on. A burglar la
bound to turn up some day or other.'
"I wanted to say things to him." smiled
the drummer, "but what was th use T He
couldn't hit anybody anyway."
Spolle.
Mrs Gillet (over the phonet I want to
complain of a mistake In our order.
Caterer What was wrong?
Mrs. Gillet There was a little lee cream
In that salt you sent, us. Life. . .
Censure la the tax A man pays to the
public for being eminent.
OOTVa.ttll. tea Tso-s we la. we eA MAMfaenaA
(J) fe ', )
1 " ftf Ai, 1
v.' r
1
OBOROE rRISrVKTTB,
Dewey Ave.
MONDAY,
FDTTARn THOMAS.
H(H North Twintitjwica'i
July 17, 191L
R-ho1.
glioretU's Looking Glass-Held Up to the Slovenly Girl
Tot leave your balr In the comb! If a Tor, queerly enough, slovens almost
that partt
1 It t eai
1 first time
V place yt
Bwhavjor.
sur torn. If I wtr a man and content-
j.lating taking you for better or worae. I
should have my sister ' or some kindly
woman friend find out if worae Included
that particular effens. .
easy enough to detect you. The
you are an over-night guest In
ou are. apt to be. on your good
But. as you become more In-
tlmatA you ahed the email delicacies that
Alone ' make close , association endurable.
About'the third .r--fourth visit wrll bring
you to' the test. And you will be guilty of
your act that la the absolute brand of
the aloven. --V-. ' ' '
Do fou know that I often have cause to
think About glrla? if to that In the days of
eourttng. In the U to before tney nave won
A Ufa partner, they are living A dainty, de-
fhtful life. And. when tbe man Is caught
and harnessed, they begin to be painfully
truthfOU And tll conclusion Is not founded
upon fnf own observation alone, it is
baaed "upon the confidences of two men
whose matrimonial troubles have been of
th "maar-truif-Tarlety and hav grown
with th sam luxuriance that characterises
thee crop.
Tou need no ba fortifying .yourself be
hind the notion". tliaU two men who will
eonfld In ajidther woman about the faulU
of their wives are era vena These men
are my own relattvr. I know their moth-
tndr. gracloiie. well bred, aalnty
,en. J Know witn wrat pain twin oi
them are "autting up" with the "small
fruit' 'esaa.teratfohs. because they honestly
believe nthe solemnity and sacrednees of
th marriage row. But they are not happy
In
variably have warm hearts and crave th
expression of affection which their own
physical carelessness repeL And these two
gtrsl are wondering why . their husbands
do not love them as they did?
It Is so much easier for a man to be
well groomed than a woman that ha does
not make allowances. The aloven hates
to wash her face, so ah puts another coat
of powder en to cover th dirt. Can kisses
be as alluring to the man who ha learned
that a girl practises this short rout to an
appearance of cleanllneaa. . And It taxes a
lot of time to get one' a hair, well brushed.
So the aloen does it about semi-weekly.
Can the trailing grace of a loosened lock
appeal, when A man knowa that It baa
not been brushed to order and cleanliness,
but Just dangles because Its possessor is
too slovenly to give It proper attention?
Men, no matter how careless they seem
About themselves, are ao squeamish about
the daintiness of a woman as most girls
ar about cream. You know how sick It
makes you Jimt to get a whiff of soured
cnaam. That's exactly bow slovenliness In
A girl affecta a roan.
And the aloven fall down on the lace
of her own lingeria Fhe lovea yards of
frill. And she lacks totally th perception
that a soiled plain petticoat la bad enough,
but a soiled frilly on la a crime.
You glory tn going about th house look
ing 11V an animated rag picker collection
before thee 1 causing process of th paper
makera la applied. You wear A ktmono
that Is A disgrace. Old party slippers flap
on and off -your feet Yet you look sur
prisingly well when you are dressed and
,rZt. Ept Weather Cure for Nerves
out on the street That Is why you are a
menace. A man cannot detect your short
comings. Ah! but he will tn the sometime
thai ought to be your good time, when you
and he are married Why do you not prac
tice being what ae thinks you are a real
lady, not a aloven?
Ji
Women as yoters
It should be cf some Interest to the Ad
vocates of, women suffragn, both her and
In England to study, Olfboritlcal eondl
tlona in New Zealand, whXSf. haa long tried
the experiment of votes'for women. The
statistics show that the women do not neg
lect the responsibilities of. the ballot, as
more than three-quart era of those entitled
to vote actually do so a slightly larger per
centage than that of' the men. Yet. the re
sults of their activity have been unim
portant. Th no-llcense movement has
been strengthened a little, perhaps; but not
conspicuously. The general tendency of
politics has undoubtedly- been downward;
the "boss" and the "machine," with their
Inevitable corruption, are ow as strongly
intrenched aa In thla country. It would be
Illogical to blame the women for this deter
ioration; yet. at the best. ' their voting
power seems to have been singularly proflt
lea The Forum.
Nam and AddrrM. fe-hool. Yaar.
Oorpe Beer, 2405 Seward St Long 110
Earl L. Babcock, 4315 Grant St Clifton HI!! 1903
Harry Burton, 1405 Corby St Lake 1104
Gecrge BertelBon, 610 South Eighteenth St Central ..10I
Byron M. Boyer. 8312 Larlmore Ave Monmouth Park... It
Mildred Chrtotenaen. 3S08 Miami St Clifton HIM.. ..... IStt
Dale S. Cohoon. 1415 Ohio St Lake 103
Alfred C. CAUghley. 3503 Seward St Franklin 1103
Robert A. Coon. 3901 North Eighteenth St Lothrop 190
Ida Cesa, 509 North Twelfth St Cass 1994
John. A. Cherrek. 2524 South Twenty-fifth st Ira. Conception II9 .
Gaile B. Current, 46 48 Seward St Walnut HU1 189T
Bernlce CarlL 945 North Twenty-aeventh Ave Webster 1900
Mildred Clnry. 1326 North Seventeenth St Holy Family 1891
Elizabeth Davla, 322 Seward St Franklin ...... . .1906
Louia Ferry, 2516 North Thirty-first St High '.. .1894
Clifford Flltin. 3316 Fowler Av High .1894
George Frlsinette, 2626 Dewey Ave Farnam 1900
Herman Gerber, 849 South Twenty-fourth St Mason 190$
Grace J. Gaughran. 2827 Cas St Webster 1897
Merle Hanua, 212 1 Lothrop St Lothrop 190(
Wolfgang Hanlcke, 2320 South Tblrty-aecond St .... Windsor 1891
Frlti Hanaen, 1414 Plnkney St Lothrop ., 199S
Harold Hanganer, 2316 Spencer St Lothrop 1899
Leo A. Joseph, 6110 North Thirty-sixth St Central Park. .... 1902
William Warrene Johnston, 1503 Blnney St Lothrop 1898
Robert A. Klnball, Tenth and Kimball Sta Lake .1..; 1901
Libby Katleman, 1518 North Nineteenth St Kellom 1897
Francea L. Kopald, 112 North Fortieth St Saunders 1899
Duard M. Kelley, 2704 Plnkney St Lothrop 1893
Francis P. Kennedy, 2625 South Fifteenth 8t St. Patrick. 1904
Carrie Lindberg, 3620 Charles St Franklin 1901
Josephine Leroy, 2314 Manderson St Lothrop 1900
Zelda L. Lamb, 1755 South Ninth St Lincoln 1898
Elsie LAngeneggar, 2925 South Twenty-fourth St. . . .Vinton 1898
Cora C. Milgaard, Ninth St. and Redlck Are Sherman ....... .1901
(Marie B. Morledge, 845 South Twenty-fourth St Maaon 1897
William MoCreary, 3223 Ohio St Sacred Heart 1898
Alva T. McClenahan, Thirtieth and Decatur Sta Long, ., 1900
Jennie Michelsen, 3218 Sherman Ave Lothrop 1897
Alice Nachnable, Fifth and Nicholas Sta Cass .,... 1897
IMike Nerberger, 920 Hugo St St. Joseph 1903
Howard E. Ohman, 1042 South Twenty-eighth St Park 1899
Ralph Patten. 2413 South Nineteenth St Castellar 1901
Paul J. Paulsen, 3516 Parker St Franklin 1905
John Phelps, 1013 North Twenty-ninth St Webster 1896
Anna Peck, 1914 Dorcaa St St. Joseph. 1898
Frank. O. Rlmsay, 101 North Eighteenth St Central. ......... 1896
William Rackley, 4627 Farnam St Columbian 189S
Fannie Rubin, 1456 South Thirteenth St Coraenlus 1898
Mardel C. Ricka, 1111 South Ninth St Pacific .......... 1896
Do good by stealth, and blush to find itjHarru Ronan, 2624 South Thirty-seventh St Windsor 1898
fame. Ida Smith, 3665 Howard St. Columbian 1901
Clara Schramer, 3729 Marcy St , ....Columbian 1896
Pauline Schartow, 1913 Martha St Castellar 1898
Lena Scherer, 1605 Frederick St Bancroft ,. 189T
Oscar Schuman, 8048 California St Webster 1891
Madeline N. Schmltx. 2414 South Eighteenth St St. Joseph..'. 1900
Clara Shymanski, 2018 South Fourth St Train 1896
Edward Thomaa, 2101 North Twenty-eighth St Sacred Heart. ... .1899
Fay Thompson, 2639 Patrick Ave Long ...1YB1
Edward Thomas, 2191 North Twenty-eighth St Long 1899
Clarence Urban, 3450 South Fifteenth St t Elw. Rose water. ,.1897
Clarence Ed Wagner, 2751 South Tenth St. ...... .St. Patrick. ..... .1887
Polyglot Proverbs
Moba have many heads, but no brains.
Hoist your sail when the wind la fair.
Great folk and dogs know no relation'
ship.
Wishing, of all employments. Is the worst.
Tour looking glass will
ncn of your friends will.
tell you what
Stlaarlaar Betert.
Said th glowworm, "Behold me, a marvel
complete;
A noted example of light without heat."
Said the bee, "And I. too. unto fame hav
a right
For the way I exemplify heat without
light." New York Telegram. '
f
Women Have No Time to Take a Whipping J
YOU WOMT SCOLD YOUR LlTTtE COPIOI
I TO niq-HT, WILL YOU DEARIE
For throwing A damper en energy and .day In th outaid world only to be greeted
ambition and as An. acting wet blanket to with a whining proteatatlon against the
--''.. . 1 thermometer la not lnduclva to coolness,
bop. an home, eomtort. commend me to, blajnm th, vlctlm
th peevish pereon." remarked th man f or klnf inKei lne fateful depths of
with th "worried eapreaMon.
Everybedy.-'eateanird a sincere if uoax
preseed sympathy to th speaker, the
possessor of A notoriously peevish wile.
They aflTWonidered.how he stood It, espe
cially lp,lt -Keajher, when aa uneasy
home 'atmosphere adds at least 10 degree
to th actual temperature.
Hot weather la a gala time for th per
eon with a perpetual grouch- How they
can enjoy themselves going about railing
at the aeather. groaning at th discom
fort and fatigue and predicting an In
definite nonHnninc of present conditions!
They actually aeem te find a grim' eatla-
ion falvtarBs out on the brow or the
ureditftener aa they aigh. and wall
piraeT hjjig te happen.
iMi Uxvtber pasA Isn't a good cheerful
nerson wborVhlDks it is sure to be cooler
tomorrow,, w 1,4 fl)a your attention to any
tranV brese a 4ft ing past, who recalla
that the sun la good for ths crops and that
tbe- Ice niao.muat b happy oa uch A day
iaa't that optimist Just aa good aa A first
.olaae electric fan any day?
The woman or fhe vaan with A complaint
:tady to fit every occasion will find the
l rated MMie can -vshauatleaa source of
autt'ly for spreading th eed of discord.
Ta eoma. .ttiuie rvn a seething, atsiilnf
fil
soma club or place of publlo utility where
th 4oed drinks and fan contribute the
much needed comfort.
How infinitely much better to greet th
homecomer with room made restful by
drawn blinds that lend their cooling shades.
windows closed la the early morning to
keep In tbe fresh, chilled air, and A re
freshing drink standing In a misty glass
near the favorite chair In the coolest
aooa.
fVerlA'a Largest Tree.
What ta declared to be th Urgent tree
In th world la th famous tula tree that
standa tn the church, yard at atltla, Mexico.
Tbe body of this wonderful tree la 1 feet
In circumference and although It was
measured mora than As) year ago. It can
Dot be seen that th tree is snaking any
growth.
Thousands of people visit th tree each
year. There la no accurate way by which
It great ag can be determined, but the
beat Judge place It At several thmiaand
years.
Its aitertur la vary rough, and aa It has
the appearanc of being diseased, it la
thought the Interior la decaying. Bteaa are
being taken -to preserv th wonderful
growth.
some wonm
are in
COMSTAMT
OAMQER,
at all: eV7 &Ayi7l
I Minnesota Plans to Capture Egg Market 1
WHILE OTHERS
MAVt hC
CHANCE
Even if Judge Cochran of Wilmington,
Dei, baa decided that a whipping occa
sionally helps certain women there Is ab
solutely no alga of the custom being tol
eratednot while there :s a fire escape
exit or aa , available front door with an
open path to Reno, writes hcodora Beau.
In the Telegram.
A number of representative women were
given a chanoa to air their views on the
subject. The consensus cf opinions and
auggeatlons given may be summarised
thus:
' A woman never should permit her hus
band to wear red necktlea They make
him prone to violence. 8he must present
him with soft grays, blues, mauve and
other gentle, aoothlng shades.
When a wife knows a man has a nasty
tamper which Is liable to conquer him
aha should surround the living room and
dr sawing room with open books, filled with
noble phrases to divert blm Is the theme.
She might weep when th storm breaks.
Weep loudly, and keep oa weeping. wall
Ins; meanwhile. Ha wouldn't want the
aceoa prolonged nor repeated. It might
man a kind, placid man of him
Regard him as a sick persa put tutor
oil In hla coffee. This Is considered a
subtle wsy of redeeming him.
Anticipate the blast of fury and dis
charge th cook ta his preaeui.- threat
ening ta do tha cooking I or aver cuora.
"TraL ALL THAT
WANT iS
L0-O-OVE.M
ir rt" 15 SURLY. 54 NQ
TO Mlfl 1
Thla Is esteemed aa effective termination
of bis spleen. Cnosnsciously his , mind
will be employed Immediately In another
way.
Hav no weiru figure nor brilliant
lights la tb wall paper. They ar likely
to torment a smouldering annoyance Into
uncontrollable frensy. Thla has actually
been known to happen, even 1a tbe first
familiea
Take leaeons secretly in boxing and
Test ling He may not be knocked down
to take th count, but he will temper hla
rage with caution from thea oa.
Try lassoing him use the family clothes
line.. This Is an Inexpensive enethod, but
worthy of Attention.
Nine eut of ten guesses Jbow that aftsr
any of the above treatments the brut
will pat his wife's cheek and say. "it's
all right, dear. I kaow you never will
hurt my feellnga again."
"It la difficult to take Judge Cachraa
seriously," said alias Laura Bklnner. "la
tha first place a woman has aa tittle time
In which to tak beatings Think of ber
hours devoted to the manicurist, ma sea us,
hairdresser, milliner, dree maker, the sum
mer philanthrophy. with its manifold calls
on her; the roof gardens, bridge, the motor
tripe, the latest novels, and above all, her
complexion. Isn't aha occupied sufficiently
without th Additional torment of A prise
fighting person bent on starting something
unpleasant T'
"It la odd. Isn't It. that Judge Cochran
should anak a statement Ilk that where
wif beating la a whipping post oftenoa la
Ielawara- And Miss Alberta til 11, aee
retary of th New York Women's political
union, said aha had a good notion to go
straight over to Wilmington and ask airs.
Cochran why aha permitted her husband
to say such thlnga
When a campaign now on In Minnesota
to reform tha poultry industry Is finished
next month, 'the extension division of the
State Farm school promises that state will
have mad the greatest advance along this
line ever known -in Its history. The poultry
Industry has grown more rapidly In Minne
sota In the last two years than any other
produce Last year the output amounted
to about t30.000.OCO.
Despite th enormous business, the eggs
and fowl ar marketed Just aa they were
twenty years ago, according ta N. K. Chap
man, state poultry specialist. "It Is with
a view to protecting the consumer phy
sically, and assisting the farmer and
produce, man financially, that we have en
tered upon our present propaganda," said
Mr. Chapman.
"According to statistics, about 160 eggs
are annually consumed by every man.
Woman and child In th I'nited States.
Minnesota and the northern portion of
Michigan are th states to which th na
tion must look for fresh eggs In late spring
time, because of their geographical loca
tion and cold nights.
"It Is with a view to capturing th na-
tion'a market that this campaign
started. We can do 1t If we get down ta
business.
"To bring about this reform we have
started with the farmers. They have co
operated with ua at all times, as also has
the State Dairy and Food commission, rail
roads, produce dealers, metropolitan and
agricultural newspapers."
Mr. Chapman has a force at work dis
tributing TS.000 circulars of Instruction t
All those connected In any manner with the)
poultry industry. Thai circular outline how
the eggs and chickens should be cared for,
both before and after they are marVetedi
bow to prepare fur shipment and to earn
for after their receipt by the prodaas deal
era The railroads and express companies
have been exceptionally courteous ta tb
state officials and ar lending all poaetMa
asaistanc for train and refrigerating ear
service.
Every town of Import an oa In th state
will have been personally visited by Mr.
Chapman or other member of the exten
sion division, and a course of instruction
has been outlined for carrying tbe cam
paign to a successful finish.
r
Hard Come-Back
r
J
"A statesman, according to the old
fashioned , creed, "must never, never
change his mind," said Governor Wood row
Wilson at A dinner In Trenton. "A changed
mind may Indicate a aplendld mental de
velopment, but the old faahioned are aur
to call It inconsistency, and they are aur
to com back At th Inconsistent statesman
aa tellingly as the old parishioner cam
back at his pastor.
" 'I wtll take for any text tha words
And thy fed ten people with ten thousand
loaves of bread and ten thousand fl'hea.'
"At thla mlaguotation the old parishioner
from hla seat la tha a men -corner said
audibly:
" That's aa miracle I could da tt any
self.' "Tbe young preacher said nothing at th
time, but the nest Sunday he announced
tha same text again. Thla time be got It
right: ,'t'And they fed ten thousand people
on ten loaves of bread and tea fishes.
. "lie waited A moment, and then, leaning
ever tha pulpit and looking at tb a men
corner, be aald:
" 'And could you tasM. taw. Mr. Pmttbr
" Xtt course could.' Mr. Smith replied.
'"And how woald you do ItT said tbt
preacher.
" Wby. with what was left ever from
last Sunday, of course.' aald Mr. Smith.
r
Best Burglar Alarm
J
Every renter has his own Idea of what
constitutes a desirable neighborhood.'
said the renting agent. "A tenant hung
back from signing a lease for six year
th other day because I could not tall him
whether anybody In tha block waa taking
th fresh-air cure. He was so Insistent
that I finally made Inquiry and learned
that A man on th third floor sleeps every
night with his head atack out of th win
dow and then th tenant signed th leas.
"Hla precaution was due to fear of bur
glare. If has learned, he says, that th
best burglar alarm ever Invented ta th
fresh-air cure. Xot even the doctors who
ad via It know so well a the second-story
men how many people Bleep with their
heads out at the window. They know
because the la bit Interferes with tbetr
buainesa Whole blocks tbst used to be
profitable bunting grounds for burglar
are now ao much waaie space baoausa tw
or three persons In the block go to bed
with tb upper half of the body protruding
beyond tha window, sill. Outdoor sleeper
may sleep comfortably, but they Bleat)
lightly. Th aerond-atnry man rannot
make a sola half a block away without
waking them and giving the alarm "
In teaching the sou tig idea how ta sheet
rt as dtfflcait to aurabln th prlnclptee ml
DoUtaoaa And truth.