V
TITE-BEE: OlfAIIA, FRIDAY, JULY 14. 1911.
I Te ecg jne a
p)a
azire
THE. c3UNIOR BIRTHCAY BOOK
Bleat of the Innocent Bystander
This is fhe Day We Celebrate
si
if -
' X
)
I ?
i
r
'bat that Just like Paris, refuaing to
' allow my more stetuea wearing frock
'.-oats to be erected there." exclaimed the
Regular Fellow.
"Not even a coat of rust." added tbe Ia
' aocent Bystander. "And as for letting
ttatue get corn-J with a coat of green.
ho ever saw any Parts green statues?
rhry would bo d-edly. Clot ii fa mar
the du, out not tbo statue, says our Farle
authority, er.d wbo ought to enow more
fo bo uro a frock coat frequently go
aith a so. 14 Cararra marble bean, but hav
Ttg a marbls or bronse dome doesa t neces
srlly carry th It tbo frock coat And
lea Ten knows, some of the Immortals who
lava been Immoriallied by posterity after
'starving to death never had a frock coat to
vans up with 'uncle,' or history might have
teen different.
"This ia rrtrtg to be an awful crash to tho
wurneymen sculptors wbo turn out modern
elebrltles In bronae. marble or oiber ap
sroprlaia commodities. And It's going to
ut a lot of contemporary great men to the
Musk If they have to be sculped as modem
apolloa, Hercules and other careless
lreaaers.
, "It's going to take away tbo Incentive to
ko great, too. Ons of tbo main prlxes which
saused . men to be prominent citixena,
pioneer founders of foundries, eminent
diplomats or dipsomate. captain of li
lustry wbo passed away before an invest!
ration set in. and otbnr activities of the
- treat oca of the main Incentives. I Bay.
as that soma sculptor wbo needed the
jioney would mla and bako a statu to
ibow future generations how tba great man
ooked when bo was dressed up.
"Ton stumble across them Terywhero,
icattered eBjund public square and parks,
rhere they assist the police to scaring tho
rhlldren off tho graaa. In enduring bronze
w ; unendurable marble they stand forth
a their Henry Clay stocks, bell skirted
York coats and pacts not trousers, you
aouldn't dignify those cylinders as trousers.
The legs are case In a etove pipe and stuck
nit at the bottom of the frock eoat.
"Those frock coats never saw tha tailor's
ron and I don't blame the artistic Part
it: for putting the Indian sign oa them,
seeing bow closely they resemble Indian
agns of cigar stores. But at the same time
t doubt If we can get our modern great
nen who must be sculped to pose aa Gre
cian mythology. Thte summer weather ia
X good time to suggest taking the coats off
natuary. but give a look at th modern
nale as he wades In to the ocean and toll
no If he is fit to be copied unadorned. "
' "Well, whatll we do If ws don't have
Loretta's Looking
Ha Is the kind ot a male too utterly mean,
oo dastardly, too impish for words. He
:ums a girl' a natural longing for love to
Us own cruel uses.
Nearly always be has the outward sem
nlanoe of a hero. But bis black heart is
jjc heart of a craven- Men never Ilka him.
and glrla, curiously enough, defend him.
.ndeed. he Is not bora a scoundrel; be ia
cade one by the Indulgence of women.
It is a habit of his to win from a girl
ihe expressions of affection which she
saata to give only to the right man. He ia
sast master of the art of creating ecea
oas that will make It possible for him
.0 secure the emotional eadtttnent which
to craves aa a drunkard crave, llauor. '
If the melting harmony of a tove aong
a drifting along on the warm currents ot
Jia aummer night wind, he knows low tb
make tbe aong aeem tba expression of fals
iove for tbe girl' beside him. He selects
young, good, love-craving victims. Cau
tiously he lays hl haad over a small hand
oa the porch rail. If the girl starts and
trawo away, he laughs at her, tails her ahe
ir "childish, silly."
Mung by the half-tsdulgent taunt, abe
does not shrink from his next caress. It Is
so aaay to believe that he lovea when he
tails It so well. Even If one of those pro
tective Instincts, which a long Uas of eoa-rentlon-reopecting
ancestors may have de-
seloped, wama her that he takes too much
tor what be gives, tbe ether lnatlnct which
nature planted la the hearts of womea be
fore eonveatuMia were thought of riaes to
rverpower It.
And the tnaldloss darn besides her tells
er that she need not fear her own yield
ing to him; that nature la the great soother
who tails her ts answer his lovs with hers.
Bs speaks of the Birds and tha flowers.
Ho opens her eyes ts tha Joy and tha saae
af theis response to nature's law. Ho lulls
ear fear with a tender considerailoB that
wmi to her the height of protective and
ahivaliie treatment.
And. - when he knows that her fear
asleep and the Imperative, alluring eaU t
bar heart Is souading through her co.
etotUBess. ho takes what ho has so lo
least y sought. His treses touch bar foi.
seed, he lifts her face and. raxing la..
her eyes with a glance that has ths hypcu
Usm of his animalism, he presses his Ut,
sa hers.
Maybe, he does aot knew Lee depth ef h
AI-MOtT HtH.. rl
;li'
TV
rv-'.T
..
lit''
-StUL
"IS
Tm Ua tfcroaa-h abas kanfe -
ewalOjaae wkLout j amTa4
I
k.
-.-7 "
"CRITIC."
tats on statues? demanded the Ree-alar
fellow.
"Better draw the mantle cf charity
round them, replied the Innocent By
stander. (Copyright. 1MV by the N. T. Herald Co.)
Tenant Twa Twas rwplle.
Vs Alexander Walker has oompleted her
forty ninth year aa a teacher at Franklin,
Fa. For forty-three years, or since IMS. aha
has ta-jght In one building, and Car twenty
two yeara In one room.
Miss Walker notified the board that she
would not be an applicant for next year. It
la ertimated Miss Walker baa taught over
Loot persona
BrsBStt rlaeslrtrarlewa.
Least Popular Bad plays about
eoplo.
Mora Popular Good plays about
rood
good
people. .
Ftni More Popular Bad plays about bad
people. " .
Most- Ppular-Good plays- about bad
peopJa MetropotltaA. '
Th tsars Were tea Qaiet.
Kit Subbubs But why. must you leave
us. Mary? Don't you Tike It oat here?
Servant Well, ma'am. It's an right days,
but nights it a awful. I hare to pun tho
bedclothes over my bead and ears to shot
out the dead silence.
Tat Sea. Pert.
He Po young March and his father are
carrying oa the business?
She Yes. The old man runs the business
while the young maa does the carrying on.
yw Tork Globe. -
Glass - She Holds it Up to
owa degradation. It ia the loathing with
which tha giri regards him when ahe is
out from under his spell. A slimy snake,
a loathsome leper could not Toe more bale
ful to her.
She has ths sense to know that ho took
advaatags of nature's outreacning. And
he abused It. ' Hs wrested a great, splendid
tores to serve his owa Ignoble ends. He la
like tho butterfly that flits from one blos
som to another. But tha Cower has svo
mind and does not burn with outraged
pride at having a vagrant butterfly sip its
honey.
Ws have had that "what win a man
thins; of you if you allow him liberties"
preached at us tUl wo have almost for
gotten that what ws think of a maa who
r
Irritations
A dose observer baa compiled a list of
domes ua Irritations Here are a few of
It Is Irritating to her to Sad his cigar
stumps la the flower pots.
To have him go and wash up juat aa din
ner 1st anaounced.
To have him an on a ' tilted ' chair, or
lay his head oa tho sofa cushions.
To have him draw designs oa her fresh
tablecloth whiie waiting tor his meals.
It is lrmatlag to aim ts find a salt
or pepper la tha saaksra.
To Jump out of the bathtub aad find aa
towels at hand.
To be aatight uader the chin by the
clothesline when 1 'tg through ths
kitchen ta tha) dark.
T have hot coffee placed beforo him
whea be has thirty seconds to catch the
train, aad cold eoffee whea he has ail the
-. :ne there la "Boston Tranacr.pt.
Celestiii Criticisms
J
- -t look at tha fit of that blood angel
winga!
-t glance at her robe how absurdly 1.
cliuga!
he goi at some second-hand sale. I gueae
. our wusuaal Sea never did kuow how u
"Just look at that bale ca crooked.
Her .nbbuoa are bum aad her sends is ai
I knew her ea earth; we were aolghbora.
oh, yes.
Poor wwx.aa! tha never did know haw ta
Wsahtngtea Herald.
sals h tekeai kul.
liar day la past, yea sa1 Taure craay;
Tour Judgeaaaots weak, your naiad Is haay.
A iin eaereiaas ahe hi fliilshad.
But laiorajst in aara awt i'"'-h-rl
Shea ot the aw a at gtrl graduata
ahe wa; but stu a moment, wait,
i be day abe had tfoat Utile say
Was mecei her eoutmar.cement day I
-e Teca Telegrasv
bo BLaowiaar. V'kvMW.
The Highbrow Tou have been ia Strat
ford? Then yea ressember that paaeage
Tatra. RicbQulpke-No; .we didn't take U.
Wo came by another routa Mck.
slit a Prei
A German staUaXlciaa has eakrinated that,
roughly, there are Us,s.osi,s) hees ta the
a orld. not cooalag tha. "liees
sat iwasit. WtV W
'wire, t?M0R
"ICUSE. ST TEi5
A JAKK TALE OUT
Ad oti A cm Mrs
YSiy ntAHJ A9tT
IT3 A HlR
J THE
TOO
FAiSirvv- tliNd.
I JlJbfT VNOv
svmETMER YOU")
tfQR
1 EM
race TBatHlLf.
KrnATS
TIT. on HOT.
the Insidious Man
takes liberties counts for something.
And the male light-o'-love ts worse.
than the female flirt ' Hs Is the active
sinner. . Ha takes tbe Initiative. Hs prac
tices his falsa wooing noon girls who are
unversed In their own natures and ths
nature of men. It's taking a White-livered,
craven advantage, aad ths recreant who
does It Is a thing for decent men and all
girls to hate!
j
V
r m n.ai
Ji'
The, Weekly Bumble, Bee
VOL. L
THE BUMBLE BEE.
A. STINGER.
Editor
CooimunScatJoBS welcomed,
and aeither signature nor re
turn postage required. Ad
dress the lulitor.
JiO AD3 AT ANT PRICE.
Liberty.
A peruser who signs him
self "One Who Wants to
Know." sends a pottai card
to this snaft of ft-. t to in
quire what eort ot erunal
liberty" It ' that compela
him to breathe "aead' uir
Bisoke at hoteji ana outer
piacee. He espeia.iy refeis
to those who amoke cigarettes
as "brainless puppet." .
The. "liberty" be refers to Is
one of the ir.hret rights ot
man. It may oe questioned it
a man baa the aoeolute
right to amoke In pubuc
Peaces, when by ao doing he
ia etfecdmg others. Tet the
custom ca so fixed Itself that
It as not likely that It will be
abandoned, because a few ob
ject. a this reeard it may
be questioned If u u not bel
ter to diacommoda tbe tew
ihaa the many.
As to cigarettea, a great
many amukeis cuawder ibera
ebjecrioBnbie. but all' who
smuae taem are not brainlcea.
Bor of teelxe frame. Ve
kditor prefers a pipe, but he
knows lets nt rood feilsws
a no like the "coffin aau."
Among tbe list of aames not
oa the damocraue roil call
prerared in advasce far tue
Loughs eeuntr coaveation. we
aeie Lboae of Jerry HowarS
aad Imjc Tawier. Caa it be
that Boos Tom really tears?
DoaaJtaa.
Ia the mean time aothmg has
oocurred to change the ooinioa
eapriasnd by Tbe Cumbie Bee
snoatoa age that Chief ena
bue to tbe snoot efficient head
tha Omaha polios fores ever
bad.
About the only oommodlty
oa which tbe price has not
been advanced oa acoouat of
tbe hot weather Is hard coal.
But' there a time enough fur
taat yec
V" want to see sncae real
fun. Just toes a nuaeb ot tree
circus Uekeis lata ths ctty
bail aad watch the scram bis-
Other ways arpear ta wntch
rhe otv council ought cut Ice.
if it woa.d oaiy get right down
to busiacaa.
IssiMika. I
Wv mot eaj m ejvetial eleo-
11 cm j vute on t
ot some sort?
TaT sTw task tusai TILiSBas sicw WW SCeaJ rau
rrs QvfTE a
HO GriVt ME
U0N6r TALE
THE RETAILS.
(fvu or ACTION
ME'RK StfCRT
N MEmS.TOS'YJ
T
CINT CCMEJ
UTNIr5STr":7
ME CVR "EAPtlO
.! THE NErVS AN
rrrVTlnE 'EH
I M6S A J Alt.
T
To Cure
In tho glittering summer weather a pretty
gtrl in white paced tha promenade dock of
a liner.
"I perceive." said a friend, "that you
have cotton In your oars. May I ask why?"
"Tea. you may ask. shs said, "if you
don't mind being tmponta But, Impolite
or not. ril answer you. I have cotton ta
my ears to ward oft searickoesa"
Tbe friend gulped. "Ton doa't say! hs
cried, hopefully.
"Tea. I do aay. Many years ago a ship
conveyed a cargo of deaf mutes from Bos
ton to Liverpool, and not one of tbe deaf
mutes got seasick. This caused the ahlp's
doctor to put oa his thinking cap. Ha
stuffed the ears of a seasick voyager with
cotton, and tho voyager, thus deafened,
got right up from his sick bed and ate a
seven-course dinner. Since that time It
has been re allied that the stomach nerves
and the nerves of hearing are ta sympathy,
aad by dulling ths hearing of ths seasick
OMAHA. JULY 14. 1911.
Hon. Brown Seeing Things
H03. V0TAGZ2
Oar fteswator Takes a Trip
aad Leamae a Heap
least Tklsfs.
(From a Staff Correpjndet.)
WASHINGTON. Julv U
(fpeclal Travel tertair'v
does broadea a man. Hon.
fcrown a rex-eat ocean voyage
was really or.e of aiar overr . not
the least feaicre of it being
that Hon. Taft Is a widely
traveled gentleman. Inasmuch
aa Hon 1 aft circled the globe
several times while he was
training to be proiiloait. maae
several trips to the Philip
pines and 10 Panama, and baa
vuuied about every croee
roada and telegrepa station
ta the United btates el nee be
was elected, as weil as before,
tha discovery oa part of Hon.
Brewa la this regard ta al
most aa resuarkasie as ais
eiber discioaurs that Hon.
TeXt ts really a great man. It
would pay to have more of
our boa senators take these
little tnpa
Ha. Iiowbeek was pretty
lucky to draw hla tint apocsal
aaeigaanent oa a nuaeloa that
weuid taaa him back to the
borne toiaa Vb-a gives him
a visit with no danger of be
ing docked for kiss ot Urns.
CLDIATE AND COLLEGE
Mow the e bailee terser
Boobs Maa A free-rod the
Re Is toll at Cartta.
(Prom a Staff Correspondent.)
LINCOLN, July JA "spe
cial Asbtna C Siiaiiec
berger s senaunal boom la
baling a direct effect on the
crop proapacta ot Nebraaka.
At the last seasioa of the
legislaturs Shalienberger tied
up his political proepects with
aa appropriation tor 4 he es
tablishment of a new agrieu
turai coiwge aad experiment
station la weeiera Nebraaka
Thia Inatirution was finally
located at Curtis wbare It waa
the belief spteadld opportunity
for dry farmlsg eaisted. a, no
It was settled that Curtis waa
to have LUe are school noth
ing but rata baa taUea out
there, atoveoteea lachee stnoa
April first, capped with a
fuur-tnch fall oa Thursday
aoaht la a pretty fair record
for a "dry" town What
do you suppose would have
happened it Curtis had beea
la the Tain beitr
If Bhaiieabergars boors
grows la proportion, las ought
to be eiecied unaslaaousiy. It
la a-ao suggested that a few
of these ataoooa bs estab
hebed. along tae Missouri
river.
Hon. W-otwell may not have
arcooipiiened aauen of ear
thing s so, but he surely mads
some of toe other fellows
come out Into the open. That
will help some.
While tho-watei
bung talked of.
railway aad gas
are being let alono.
Sorely.
If the ctrv can supply wstar
and hgtit and do other similar
iuii, no reaaoa af -pears why
It can t a-ao aiore and aei lea
The piaa aught weil be triad.
aWeetlfeJL
Our pot lit tie weather maa
baa caught hia balance aad ta
etaad-n- on hots few
I Nolo the ditlerenoei:
TO
I A JOKE? J TtRMrJ
Seasickness
their Illness In many cases has been mads
to disappear.
"Where's some cotton? It's worth trying,
the friend said, as he hurried away.
NO. 243.
0U POETS' C0&5Z2L
LoaeTtaaT.
Dear Mr. auagar, far away,
I'm flghtia' bugs an' ants
away.
An' wislun' I was there ta see
Tbe macaaine page of The
Friday Bee;
And now If some kind poet
of thine .
Shall answer thia little quis
of mine.
Twill gratify me. in exile.
And make existence seem
worth while:
How hot Is It In Omaha?
la F. B. T. an attorney at las
Oe la be la tne rati road bixf
Ioea F. b. T. kuaw wno 1 laT
And now muat I my license
sbow?
On, bow does father s garden
grow?
How is ole Brother Welsh be
havin'T la any street torn up for
pavin' T
Was the Fourth out there all
eafe an' sane?
Did Jo&aay boy get hurt again
Are there any skyacrapera In
Benson?
Is there any news out there
worth mention?
I aha-i await your generosity;
Just throw a crust to
Q. RIE OSSITT.
P. S Don t you think la waa
a sia
For B. N. T. to come buttjn' In?
Hoping.
The' curio a head eoa tains
soma nonsense.
He has an A-l brand of 00a-
saeaca
Tis true he flirts some with
that bird. - -
Which ou U agree Is quits
absurd.
Tet hoid 1 firmly the belief
This taiiee Is for a
brief.
Hla sojourn oa a country farm
May prove, irirtood. a potent
ehi
Kid scenes where few tempta-
- toeas hern,
Tho ct.axige Mould subtle sa-
fiueuce work.
If he keeps tolling as hs
ehouid.
"Tis dimes to doughnuts hs'U
bo good!
Hs tells ns of a neighboring
rarhaps therm land bias la
Us caoir
I hope he ll sing ut eat no
Ta
Bo
caaae a
writoap hi tae
outer worda,
Ci. k. a.
friend
where
good. BO
yea goi
r. b. t.
the
em
street
ipnnles
Tls aad that Opportunity
JJLoocke . but once at aay
door
We . never would dub aim
Knocker
If bo knocked a few times
gwW
' i.vmTS ' 1
1 F. B. T.
E
FRIDAY,
NelMa L. Baldwin, 125 Marth St
Harry Brooksttia. 1536 North Twenty -
Georga C. Browa. 4 1 IX Kort St
Beky Cohen, 1441 South Fourteenth
Glen Clark. 913 North Twenty-fifth Are Keilotn 1S9I
Gladys Calkins, 2623 North Twenty-fourth Pt Lake 190
Ulelvln Dickinson, Ulg North Twenty-first St Ketloni 1SI4
iLowell Davis, Tha Creche..; Central 1901
tLenora Elet, 625 Pine St Train 1905
jjulia Fltzgeraid. 210 Spencer St H!h 1SI4
! Jesse Frailer, 262s Capitol Are Central 1S99
j Paul Flothow, 154S North Nineteenth St Kellom 1891
'Joseph Gilbert, 1S29 Nonh SeTentetnth St Kellom l9f
iVictor C. Graham, 4T29 North Thirty-eighth St . . . . Lothrop 1891
Gretchen Hart. 519 North Forty-first St Saunders 1902
ilzott Howell. 1122 Canton St EJ. Rosea ater. ..1902
! Myrtle Hamas, 2332 South Tenth St Bancorft 1891
David Hansen, 2219 North Tweniy-siith St Long 190S
Ernest C. Kicdaen, 3234 Evans St Howard Kennedy.. 1S91
Ruth Kcebler. 3S15 Charles St Franklin ..1901
Geneva B. Kuri, 3 64$ Laare tie Ave Franklin 1904
David Mansell, 29:$ Vinton St Vinton 190(
Edith M. McCurdy, Miller Park PaTillon Miller Park ..190:
John Matbauser. 2525 South Twelfth St Bancroft ..1901
Doris Meyer, 2 802 Sabler St Saratoga 1 SSI
William UcMlUan. 2638 Chicago St WV sier 1903
Maris L. Mortarity, 2013 North Twenty-first St Sacred Heart 1902
William McDonnell. 1947 'South Eleventh St St. Patrick. -.
Henry Nick, 2718 South Twelfth St St. Joseph... 1894
Sara E. Pulman, 2029 Willis Art. Kellom ,.1895
Walter Rankin, 4811 North Jwenty-ihth Ave Saratoga 199
Edwin Robertson. 619 South Twenty-ninth St Fa mam 1901
James Rigs. 1806 Miami St Lake 1904
Meredith Rice, 2116 Chicago St. i ...Central 110!
Henry F. Sick, 13 47 South Twenty-sixth St Park ".. .1903
Ernest Sass, 2508 Patrick Ave Long ;189S
George R. Smith. 1248 Park Wild Ave Central ......... 1901
Lesliu Thomson, 1054 South. Twenty-ninth St. .....Park ..lS9t
John Theiler. 1403 Elm St... ...St. Joseph .190!
Roth Trumble, 2309 Dewey Ave. High 1891
Herman Victor. 1716 South Second St ..Train 1904
Willie Wendt, 2115 South Fourth St Train .'.lSoi
Edith Weir, 3 412 Dodge St Farnam ..190
Richard Walk up, 1015 North Thirty-fourth St Franklin 190
No Lack at All
II
an
"I never do have any such luck as the
other boys:" complained young Harold.
"Why. I am surprised." answered hla
mother. "You have roller skates, a bi
cycle, a foot ball suit and a ticket to ths
gymnasium. Some boys would think them
selves very lucky if they bad those things.
"Tea but Willie- Swaddling" bouse
burned down, snd he helped save things!
Tom Anderson's house was robbed, and he
heard the burglar! And Jack Turner ts
rick, and ths neighbors sre carrying Ice
cream and stuff tJ him!" New Tork
Time. .
Fine Line of Dry Goods
"These hot spells tnaks one think of cold
snaps by contrast," said a veteran survivor
of twenty years of boarding house, "which
recalls a heart tragedy of last autumn
brought about by one of these rams snapa
"My resting p.aca then was In a bouse
wbers abode a certain maiden lady, un
certain M to age; the most casual Inspec
tion, however, served to show aha bad been
left at the post in ths matrimonial race
open to entries under X. When the leaves
ia the 1 ark were beginning to turn there
rame thither a new bcarder from ths west.
He bad spent the morning of his life arid
a good part of the afiemooa on an Indian
reservation, where frmals loveliness was
jieanured eoiely by the ability of a squaw
to chop wood and fetch water, and even
while his trunk waa being bumped up ths
front stairs tbe maldea lady read la his
eyes the Joyous birth of that blissful well,
she looked good to him, all r.ght, bashful
though he was. not btlnf used to that kind.
"Forthwith she annexed bus; aiarted in
on a cnmie.gn ot education, and in a
fortnight had graduated him from nickel
odeons and ice cream sodas to problem
p. ays and cut flowers w.th aa occaaiocal
luok in at the Jewel era Of course. It waa
a one-sidoa affair from the drop of Uie
flag, what chances has a western man
with a bank account sia.aat aa eaatera
maidea lauy with her mi ad made up! By
the midUie ot October fhe was sporting a
blue diamond aod putting tbe finUhiog
touches on the trousseau.
"The wedding waa to be pulled off at
tui.f past seven In ths morning so's they
could catch tho nlas-thlity for the west.
Also It was to be a quiet affair; nobody
present but the landlady and myself and,
af course, tho parson porsoa aad tho bride
and Una wastcra party defendant.
"The night .before the threatened event
It turned bitter cold and the boarding
house furnace got sulky and went out. It
waa a shivering, blue-nosed bunch of ua
that gathered In the parlor next morning
all axoept tha bridegroom; he waa miaeijDg.
We waited an unpardonable fifteen min
utes, while the tride grew seufT-y and tha
landlady got sour and the pereoa got cross.
Finally ths landlady went up to tbe room
of the delinquent one and precipitately re
turned la a highly nervous atato, exclaim
ing that In reply to her rappinga there had
come from with.a merely a eoofuaed sput
tering of Jumbled lnconerences which put
her to Clght,
. "We flew ap the stairs at the heels of the
anxious bride aad beat a quadrupls tattoo
upon the dooo-ed man's door, only ta be
anawered by a babbling confusion of un
couth sounds that pushed the bride to the
briiJr of hysterica, anatcnlng a chair, she
mounted if, gased tar a moment over the
transom aad taon, with a wamny. fell
back- ia a dead faint. I leaped upoa the
chair, and, peering: inu the room, I saw
f -
Nice Cool Story for a Hot Day
July 14, 191L
Train. Ut
first St Kellcra 1 9 9
Central Park . '. . . . 1H
St Maon 104
Kindly Knocks
J
V
The boy who says he would rather givi
hla quarter to the benighted heathen thai
go to the ball game will bear watching.
Some people are ao constituted that the
positively make a vulgar display of thee
refinement. .
Some people are so Indolent that wbsj
tbey do begin anything they are too laaj
to atop.
A man la always eager t live up ta ha
reputation, a woman up to her photographs
New Tork Time.
Men who give up nothing give up every
thing.
1 saw tho westerner, very mush tat dis
habilla, hovering over a bonfire of mateha
biasing on the hearth, trying ta thaw 01s
a double set of falsa teeth froaon fast In 1
water glass aad making efforts to- sweaj
through his toothless gums!
"Well, wo swapped off the parson for I
doctor pretty quick and be had to wort
oa her aa hour before she could ait up an
ask where the other party waa Where waj
he? Why. meantime he'd slipped down tiv
back stairs and caught that t JO train, wlr
ing back from the I'te reservation to fop
ward his trunk by express and his teeth bj
mall. '
"But I never have beea dead eertai
whether this balk of his was accidental.".
Boston Herald. . '
Hla grate
"I suppose, senator," said tho beautifn
glrfu "you have succeeded la your politics
career by always being at tha right plact
at the right time."
"Well, bo." the statesman replied. 1
ana rather inclined to attribute my sure lot
to ths fart that I bars generally beea Abb
to find out Just a little before they at art a
which way my constituents were going.".
Chicago Record-Herald.
Xet e Itraage.
She Isn't It atrarige that men seidon
writs poems on love after they are mar
ried? He Oh. I don't know. I never heard 01
a maa writing a poem oa the ocean aftaj
aa attack of saMckaeaa Chicago News.
Saw mills ware first erected In Madeira
ta lM.
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