11
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TIIF, BKE: ONLAHA, TURSnAY. may. 2. inn.
X i
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Serious History in Comio Vein
Bo ton Tea
Tarty.
"Well, well,' well," exclaimed Bhow-Me
Smith. comma; out of a trance. "I see Boa
ton's all het tip agnln. Bhs always was a
giddy young; , town." . '
''What- leaning Beantown now. Show-
He?" Wat Isked.
"Oh, she "only wants to regulate aeroplane
trafflo. Malta 'am. lake tha right band ilde
going- up, nlrv -t he speed laws 1n case
of t alia and. all that kind of thins.. And
whan The Hub starta to regulatin' tha rest
of tha wneel haa rot to stop coin' round,
too. Always ' poTlte about It, though. Just
Ilka . an afternoon reception.. She always
could pour tea alcery,,syou. know riant In
tha 'cop every '"time except when aha
dumped It Into the op tan. ,
"And that "rewimd me to tell you tha
Inside TilBtory of what Ronton la alwaya
bragging gboul besides her" beana that Tea
Party. V '.i
In tha first place It wasn't a tea party
I at all. ; It was a chowder given by tha
I John Lk Sullivan Hyacinth association of
I tha First ward to tha Anrlent and Honor
able Artillery Of tn.e Back Bay Assembly
district. The Ancient and Honorsblea had
Jf01 polished off tha Old Ouard In a ten
round banquet and sent 'em home In crates,
and to calabrata the vlrtory tha John L.
? association fives' em a chowder. Marquis
$ o' Queensbury ' rules,' and no hitting In
k ciincanv.
f1 law reTresnmenis on mis cnowaer,
ays tha president of tha, John L. sssocla.
tloit, after th heat, left-the dock, 'will be
I bear and baked beana, the chief products o'
' ' the First ward, ao's to make It real sociable
and homelike.' - -
. "At th(a there vert growls of discontent
from the' Ancient, who demanded to know
why there wa'n't champagne, aa they never
&eard of Chowder without' champagne.
"'Because,' said, tha John i's president,
'we'ra all members of this -club now and
"MAGNUM OVERBOARD!"
the wealthy water is barred till after eleo.
Hon.'
' "Pretty soon a trusty lieutenant touchea
the president on the elbow.
" 'I regret to report," saya he, 'that a
large fat bottle of wine has been smuggled
aboard and la about to be broached In tha
waist.'
" 'Heave" It Into the ocean!' says the
president.
"A couple of seconds later a terrible cry
rang through the ship:
"Magnum overboard!'
"Then there was a string of splashes
that lasted for ten minutes, and at the
end of that time nobody was left on the
boat by the John I association.
" "Where's tha Ancients?" demsnded the
president looking around tha empty barges.
" "Out there In the bay," says the lieu
tenant, 'havln' a llfe-savtn' drill!'
"That was tha real Boston Party."
(Copyright. 1011. by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
"35
earrwoNf. wi. it ti mn nm mama mtuus isiw atw ncwj cm. M nsm hmt
Tabloid History of the Presidents
William Jlenry , Harrison, .. ninth presi
dent of tha United. Hta tee, was a 'mm of
Benjamin Harrison' a signer -of the Dec
laration of Independence arid the grand
father of another, 'Benjamin Harrison, who
became '.the'i twenty-third president. Wil
liam Henry Harrison was torn. In' Virginia
on February t, Yfix'
He was himself a splendid Indian fighter
and daring' the-' war" of 115 It was his
brilliant leadership at the battle of the
Tfhamee, '. following immediately , .after
Perry's victory -on Lake firle.-which gave
the'Unlted 'States the veRlon of -the
Vhaln of lake aboVe njrli'aiia put an end
to the wag. In .ppperoiost Canada.
In Wt he wad elected' to-tha'Senate of
Ohio and In J822wss a candidate' for con
gress v It e was, defeated, however, because
of his' vote against the admission of Mis
souri with that , restriction-'" prohibiting
slavery, ln"'that ; staf. He ,waa a presi
dential elector In 1824 anil beta me a I'nltea
Hates senator that same year."
He resigned from cphgreej In, ISL'8 to ac
cept, the post, of minister to tha United
Hales of-CoInnvbls:. anr appointment made
by President John Qulncy Adams. He was
recalled by i President Andrew Jackson
and retired to his farm at "North Bend, Ind.
. . Here, be waa living quietly when. In 1836
several, states nominated htm for presi
dent, but Martin Van Buren received 171
Words that Win Brides
J
5
A' Russian Journal gives the following
collection marriage propossta typical of
dlffprenr" nationalities; ,
' A Russian Natasha, my little dove, soul
of my heart, 1' love you with my whole
heart, with my whole being I love you
madly. I love you unto death, and should
troubles befall us, my love will conquer
everything. Be mine. oh. Natasha!
i A Frenchman Tou are divine. Ideal. To
Tday I will presa my suit hafore your par
' ents, and you;' my fairy, you will become
my wifa. . .
.' An Kngllshman I am about to stsrt on a
long voyage and I shall be very lonely. I
wonder If you would rare to marry me
and let us make this Journey together..
A Uerman Frauleln, you are a notable
woman. Tou have' read and understood
my book.. I cannot tell , you how much I
, admire anil esteem you. May 1 dare offer
a yoa my hand '" "'
v " .An Italian Cara mla. yovi are fairer than
tba blushlpg dawn. , Your voice la-mora
'melodious then . the 'soft- West wind. Oh.
let me kiss those dark' locks of 'yours, and
let thoaa heavenly eyes- not. spurn me, for
' otherwise ( .must die. live without you I
1 oa nnot. t ' " ' " ;
A Mentehegitn--Vou are a handsome and
good girl.. Jf-j ou will marry me I will
out -off two Turki'' heads and lay then at
your feet. .
f ...
Mottoes from ShakespeareJ
w itiiAEEiacn .
votes against his seventy-three. Four
years later at the National .Whig 'conven
tion he' waft nominated, with John Tyler
of Virginia, aa vice president. Martin Van
Buren waa renominated.
A The succeeding election was one of 4 lie
moat exciting and picturesque In the his
tory of .the country. Jt is remembered as
"The Log Cabin and Hard Cider Cam
paign." because of the fact that part of
General Harrison's home Was the log cabin
built by an early settler In Ohio, and that
Harrison's "table, Instead of being cov
ered with exciting wines, waa well supplied
with the best cider."
Harrison "won the day. His new cabinet
was chosen with commendable Judgment
and a successful administration was an
ticipated. On April 4, 1841. just one month
after his Inauguration, however, the presi
dent died, a victim of pneumonia.
Aa he lay on his deathbed, the dying
president, Imagining that he was artdresa
ing his suocessor, exclaimed, "plr, I wish
you to understand the principles of the
government. I desire them carried out-
nothing more!"
(Copyright. 1H, by the N. T. Herald Co.)
tec
THtf CAN
THAT
rVKVf THE
3TRECT.
I " B I 11
Ml J FVf IK II
I r?M Jb -wvr I I . I I
tor 4 pvp Tt tofirr
... "n'' 'T
ri
Rfri I
lg
aWasag At e tsr ft
t
THE, BILE3 c5UN10R TMDTHDAV nnn'
This is fhe Day We Cglebraie
, 77
May 2, 1911.
TUESDAY,
Xaine and Address.
Michael M. Dasar, 1313 William St.
Willie Bock, -2715 Camden Ave....
Elton Baker, 4133 Izard St
Roaa Brodkey, 610 South Twenty-fifth Ave
Esther Blumonthal, 313 South Twelfth St
Walter Barrick, 4031 North Twenty-geventh 8t.
Majorle Burria, 1606 Fort St
Bernle Bradley, 618 North Twenty-first St.
Abraham Brookstein, 1916 South Tenth St.
Ethel Carey, 415 South Nineteenth St Leavenworth 1903
Margaret Clark. 3920 North Sixteenth St Saratoga 1903
Clare C. Coffey, 1508 Ohio St Sacred Heart. ... .1898
Sarah Drosnln, 408 North Twenty-sixth St Webater 1895
Kenneth Deemer, 3713 Jackson St Farnam ....1903
Corrlne Elliott, 2912 North Twenty-fourth St Lothrop 1897
Irving Eskelson, 3313 Parker St Franklin 1900
School. Vcar.
St. rbllomrna 1896
Miller I'ark 1899
.....Saunders ........1901
.Mason 1898
.Cass 1900
.Saratoga ........1900
Sherman 1899
......Central 1895
Lincoln 1905
.St. Joseph 1897
.Pacific 1896
.Long
. Bancroft
.Sacred Heart., .,
. Webster .......
i.Saratoga
Andrew Ecker, 1032 Atlas St.-.-
Fted T. Froch, 1110 South Sixth St
Anetta Fanger, 973 North Twenty-sixth Bt. . .
William C. Ouenman, 2418 South Eleventh St.
Winifred B. Hart. Fiftieth and Pratt 8ta
Axel Jensen, 921 North Twenty-seventh Ave. ..
ToklO Kisanuke, 2519 Ames Ave
Helen Keating, 2023 Maple St Lothrop ..
Alma M. Holler, 1806 North Nineteenth Bt Kellom ..
Tes'sle M. Karrlch, 1914 South Tenth St Lincoln- ..
Eahad Kountz, 1411 Madison Ave Lake
Madeline K. Maulan, 1923 South Nineteenth St. . . St. Patrick
Vernon W. Matteson, 1112 North Twenty-third St.. Kellom
Katie" M. McDonald, 3028 South Nineteenth St St. Patrick.....
Waneta Myers, 712 North Twenty-seventh Ave High
Avery Newlln, 620 North Seventeenth St Casa
Helen Esther Pursell, 2504 Webster St Miller Park,. 1905
Frank Peterson, 431 North Thirty-fourth St Webster 1904
Leland Relfschnelder, 2430 Saratoga St Saratoga 1900
Nellie Rosso. 701 Pacific St Pacific ...1904
Anna J. Ruppert, 2014 Martha St : High ,.1894
Tillle Rau, 3124 Leavenworth St High 1894
Sam Rosenblatt, 1818 North Twenty-gecond Bt. . Kellom 1903
Lily ScMll, 2414 Oak St German Lutheran . 1903
Msrcla Stoller, 4513 North Twenty-fifth Ave Saratoga 1901
Ida Slella Brodkey, 6465 Twenty-fifth Ave High ........... 1892
Vera L. Sullivan, 3319 Franklin St .....Franklin ........1900
190S
1899
1896
1898
1904
1896
1904
1900
1900
1900
1905
.1893
.1895
.1898
( Loretta's Looking Glas s-Held Up to (fifl Who Misuses Language
No, you do not swear. At least I have
not heard you, though I know some girls
who do. You Just knock the meanings out
of good, respectable, useful words, as if
you were taking exercise on a llnqulstlc
punching bag.
Tou asked another girl how she liked
a third whom both of you had met. She
replied, "Why,. I thought she was real
good-hearted and well-meaning," You In
stantly remarked, "I didn't like her,
either!" . '
Could anything be more amazing than
your calm assumption that your friend did
not like a girl whom she described as good
hearted an,d well-meaning? ..If you were
not two girls, thoroughly versed In the
misuse of words common to your kind,
: ; jnHAflij 1) in I ' feTTra FT 11 1 '
COLLECTOR WITH L . WILl NEVER J !
X?L U VvlU iy II IzJt 10 SEE, f t J1U
fit jO rr V-i lr,,nR 4s "11 W-LOW SKM
r ( ' 1 f f 'i -t JVv.-fff TO 6C a, MEW
ki )f CrrH us-
; v rS JslAP t -WWS MUST
! JrisL k! , r-HAVE GIVE M
" Vl SfeJ 5 ? X A 7 S-ifEUOW MUST BE
1 I r3' J (TOsf .vT SOME 600D SPRlMT-
j "1
W l In! LI imkm m
T T f -l5r X -ing! CONFOUND
i J I r THAT RAREBIT ,
fC- v ,'Dr 'u.f S '
1 xfJ w Ht cotv$ r If or you:.. T J y
I" r i around 11 - IIls !
if 1 1 J! ! .' here i'll iT TT
w iHI i 'a;
lift) IP liS NgrJl 1LAS
damned
rub."
Tor the Washerwoman:' "Out,
spot, out t say !" Macbeth, v, 1.
The Bootblack: "Ah, there's the
I Hamlet. 'Ill, L
The Convict: "I have done the state
' some aervloe." Othello, v. J.
The Landlord: "dee what a rent." Julius
Caesar. Ill, . ' '
Messenger Boy: ' "Shall I not take mine
ease?'VHnry IVr lilS.-
The Auctioneer; '1 only speak right on."
Julius Caesar. 11).' 2.
j Base Ball Mao: "Ho Dot saw the air too
J much." Hamlet. Ill, I.
IHver: "1 would fain dla a dry death."
Tempest, Iv, l.r ' ; '
The Cook. "Sum stuff aa dreams are
inade on." Tenjet, Iv. L
Customs Collectoi1: "Paia by and curse
, thy fill."-T1mon of Athens, v, S.
Hair lreser: "Framed to make women
i false.' otnello. I. I.
The Gambler:- '"-I have set my life upon a
cast "-Ru-hard IV, . 4.' v
1 The Hurber: "Make eaot particular hair
to atand oa. and." Hamlet, I. S.
The rieliermaa; "i could a tale unfold."
Hamlet, Li. ,
The Architect: "Advise him for a better
plac."-Mfsurs for Measure. Iv, t Ufa.
, Tha I'nltad . mates production of mica
fo tha last year .was -valued at a little
more thaw UM,4. Nearly all of this used
the el4jtrU:aA.lnduur. as anica Is one of
Xiut best ii;gulat(ng nwterlala known.
,j Every good -Bikh 4reiero to die upon the
hard grotstd.'ltegardhMW of rank or age,
no rr mf" intervene" berween him and
tba earlk 'when be vreatlies his lasu
you would not have known so easily how
to say that the third girl failed to meet
with your approval, nor would you have
so immediately guessed the censure under
the contradictory words.
If girls keep on maltreating the language
the way they do there will have to be an
especial profession created, an lntrepreter
of English as "she Is spoke" by girls.
"I would quite ss soon be called a fool
aa to have some one say I am sweet," you
announce positively. ,
What Is wrong with that pleasant word
"sweet?" Not a thing In the world. The
wrong Is with you. You have used It to de
scribe a person who Is negative In character
or so lacking In charming that you can
think of no word that really fits her so
you cay her "sweet." You certainly damn
the girl with faint praise, but why spoil
the language?
Don't you think we are" getting a bit
mixed as well as mixing our words. It Is
not supposed to be polite or kind to tell
the truth. That Is actually what this mis
use of , words reveals. -We lie, forcing a
good, pleasant word to act as our instru
ment. And at last 'that good, pleasant
word Is spoiled' because It has been mis
used go much. "Sweet" has become a term
of disparagement.
Girls are so merciless .In. making each
other lie. They .ask direct questions and
expect agreeable answers. It Isn't fair
to say to a gueat, "Has she; a. ierfeot
voice?" after she has listened to a winner
whom you have secured to entertain. You
would think her rude. Why, you would be
madder than a whole poultry yard full of
wet hens If she'did not. think the voice was
perfect, fio she lies and says It Is. It's your
fault. It s your wilful misuse of words that
causes your sister to offend In one way
Ahlle she pleases you In another.
You know aa well as I that men have a
chronic complaint against us "becaune we
are deceitful." I honestly believe that they
net the Impression largely from our mls
uxe of words. We think It does not count.
But Just try the experiment yourself of
following a girl through a crowded draw
ing room. Listen to the untruths she utters.
A man who la trailing some pretty girl
gets this chance often enough. No wonder
he begins to doubt her ability to tell the
truth. And you cannot afford to have THE
man doubt you. Just on his account It
would be worth while to take a kind of
Keeley cure for inebriety in the use of
language.
"Jack, dear." queried the (air Inald at
the ball park, "why does that man behind
the hitter wear such a big bib?"
"That," explained Jack, " is to keep his
shirt front from getting mussed up when
the ball knocks his teeth out."
at
Soute (Unas af Spring.
They are painting In the office; out
home tliev re painting, too.
I've been hoping, hoping, hoping they
mlglit presently be through.
Fur a k f have been sickened by the
Mnell of turpentine.
I wonder If there ever was a sadder rase
than mine.
Tliey have Indders set around nie where 1
. labor through the day.
Anil 1 find things topsy-turvy when I
homeward wend my wsy. . .
There s a certain meatless eat shop where
I get iny iniddsv fare.
And. h George, today I found them all
4 lipped, up and ialnilna there.
New York Telegram.
Raymond Taber, 4217 Harney St Saunders ...
Magnus Vallen, 2005 North Thirty-fourth St Franklin! . . .
Sadie Workman, 411 Poppleton Ave Train
Benjamin WlnshJp. 2931 Franklin St Long
Renel Young, 2524 Bristol St Lothrop ....
Edward A. Zlepfel. 4106 Dodge St Saunders ...
Jennie Zorlnsky, 1817 Leavenworth St Leavenworth
,1898
.1899
,.1896
.1899
.1898
.1898
..1904
How to Treat a Husband
"Sometimes," confided the Wise Wife,
toying with a magaslne, "I feel that I
must dash over and give the woman In
the flat across the hall tha Cbatauqua
treatment."
"And what la Chatauqua treatment?"
asked the listening friend.
"The Chatauqua treatment, my dear. Is
a course of helpful and Interesting lectures
on timely topics. Onlyf in this casa 1
should build all my lectures on the simple
subject of 'The Dangers of Being Too Nice.'
"For Instance, her husband came home
Just a few moments before you dropped
In. As he opened the door I heard a shrill
voice call 'Don't hang your wet coat on
the rack. Henry, where it will drip on the
haU carpet. Take It Into the kitchen, and
Wipe off your shoee, so they won't mar
the floors.' Wasn't that a nice, cheerful
greeting for a man who has been on the
treadmill of trade all day and who looked
forward to closing the door on the world
to find himself In a place he could really
call ha own?
"The wife -across the way has the Idea
that a real home must be a temple of neat
ness. Now, every woman knows how a
man revels In his Sunday morning papers,
how he loves to pull them apart and let
them billow about him In wavea of news
and comio sections. The more he can scat
ter them the happier he Is. It la one of
the' masculine peculiarities we accept with
out trying to fathom. '
"I have happened In across the hall sev
eral Sunday mornings when Henry Is In
the midst of his literary feast. Poor Henry!
Hardly does he unfurl a sheet until It la
snatched from the floor, neatly folded and
placed In the rack. He Is sure to want that
particular sheet about three seconds later,
but he wouldn't dare pull It out after It
had been properly' 'put away.' And you
ought to see the books on the library
table! They look as if they had been cut
out of paper and pasted on.
. "But the really momentous question In
the household Is What shall we do with
the cigar ashes? You know, the ash tray
In that house is of more vital Importance
than the health of Its members, the new
spring suit or the high cost of living. I
venture to say that the ash tray has been
the 'source of more harsh words, bitter
recriminations and heated family quarrels
than any other half-dozen things or per
sons In existence. You see. It Is given a
place on the library table only under pro
test, and la supposed to efface Itself as
effectually as If It never were there. After
Henry surreptitiously uses It for the used
portions of his Havanas he Is supposed to
bear it carefully to the kitchen and there
remove all traces of Its real purpose. Some
times, after a hard day at the office, he
forgets. Poor Henry, It's a sad day for
him when he forgets to remember that
rule. And, If he should drop his ashes he
COLOR QUESTION,
She I suppose your new baby
- ft dlicst pink.
. H No she's m rooust ycllcrl
would never hear the end of that crime.
- "Ha la always being reminded that his
chair Is getting too close to the piano or
is In danger of scraping against the ma
hogany cabinet. Invariably this comes In
the midst of a conversation, when the point
of the story is being told. The drawers of
hla chiffonier are so orderly he can't find
a collar button and his laundry is 'put
away' so carefully that he has to Issue a
search warrant to find a clean shirt."
"I've noticed," the Wise Wife continued
after a pause, "that there is less and less
use for the ash tray, and that on rainy
evenings the umbrella seldom drips on the
halt carpet because Henry la detained down
town.' The men at his club aee him a lot
more than they once did.
"Carpets and mahogany furniture can
bo purchased in any department store. For
a 11.60 a day a maid can be secured to pick
up scores of scattered papers. Love Is not
on the market at any price. What I want
to ask the woman across the hall is,
whether she prefere the ashes of .cigars or
the ashes of love as a household decora
tion?" '
Old Saperatltlons.
Superstitious belief in mermaids dates
from the earliest periods.
Ancient Japanese believed that the world
was produced from a cock's egg.
If you wash your face and hands In the
water another has washed in; you will
come to blows.
It Is not good for any man to give a pair
of actssors to his sweetheart, for fear of
cutting away their love.
During storms It was the custom In
Malta and biclly for church bells to be
rung for an hour that the winds might,
cease and the sea be calmed..-
The Original Fake Doctor.
Coeval, with the development of chem
istry, came forth the first renowned medl-x
cal quack, Paracelsus, a Swiss alchemist,
who boasted of making man immortal, yet
he himself died at the early age of 48, in
1M1. He had a nostrum called Asoth,
which he vaunted as the elixir of life.
She Knew.
"A man ought to come home In the even-"
ing smiling and with a good appetite."
"Yes," replied young Mrs. Tor kins; "ha
ought to. "But the home team cannot
win all the time." Washington Star.
Vivian Do you it-ally feel comfortable In
that hobble skirt?
Violet Oh, I can't kick.
TOUGH LUCK '
wry
Congratulations. See you were
one of the only two men not
indicted for taking bribes in your
district
"Yes. I was away fishing on
election day and the other fellow
overslept tinwdiT .
