THi; UKV.: OMAHA. MONDAY. APRIL 17. 1011.
The gee'g jne Magazire fafe
BOheBEES Junior Birfoclay Book
The Hotel Lobbyist Telu lhe Cha;r r
the Law
Puriues Iti Even Tenor.
BV WAUKR A B'.NCLAIR.
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if
1 1
''Wonder If lawyer will tike sinning les
,V, following the success of that singing
lT!T In Tenia." speculated the Chair
,. winner.
"He certainly ran the scales of justice."
ii replied the Hotel lobbyist. "Of course, one j
, might suggest that there are a whole lot j
of lawyers who might take law lemons j
without hurting themselves, but that might
be construed ai an assault, on a sacred In-
- stltutlon. The woolsack ought not to aug-
sent . mutto head.
"If thhi bursting Into song before an en-
; raptured Jury keeps tip, however, I can
sea that our constitutional lawyers and
' these empowered to practice before the
upreme court will have to study with the
Ie Resxke boys or Madame Cheenl In
Paris, before their technique, coloratura
and timbre are up to the Metropolitan
Opera house standard. We will also have to
elevate Cettl-Hyphen-Caxzlra, Dippel and
wriwino to the bench so that no cracked
Tolre rah slip by them.
"If this Texas practitioner can get an
acquittal by pathetically singing- 'Home
Sweet Home, there are great possibilities
for lawyers all the way down to the po
lice court glitters, who live from one dis
orderly conduct fee to another. Think of
the run ot Songs our cynical songsters
have ground out In late years which fit
most every style of crime from wife deser
tion to dog stealing. Can't you'see a sob
bing magistrate discharging a vinous, msl
tous and spirituous gentleman, whose
trusty eouneel eases off, without orches
tral accompaniment, that pathetic little
iitty entitled, "I'm Afraid to Go Home in
the Park." '
"I ran Just see a Jury dissolving In weeps
when the defendant In. a divorce suit Is
represented by counsel who. In rich bari
tone voice, carols. 'I Love My Wife. But
Ob, Tou Kid!' Why shouldn t every court
I.Vve Its expert pianist who can 'vamp" the
I Vie at the slightest provocation? Of
. . course, a full orchestra, or even a sober
one, would help the singer immensely, and
an organ would give more depth to the
solemn . songs, but a piano would help a
lot. .
And while they were about It they could
put In stereoptlcan slides. Illustrating the
aong. X think-that would be a Hot with
the practitioners at the musical bar. Think
of. song especially written tir this pro
duction. Illustrating with bluish sort of
. colored elide- bow the defendant parted
from his sweetheart dear in a garden full
.Loretta's Looking Glass-She Holds It Up to
Schemes usually fall through the neglect
'. of the schemer. to acknowledge the lntelll
; gonce of the victim.
Yours did- A man asked you If he might
call. You said. VYes." Thursday evening
" mas the time aet.
lie canie-ONCK.
, Your scheme fell through. You failed to
' eotint upon his common sense.
As he left -you asked: "Where shall we
' . go next Thursday evenini?"
You did not go anywhere. The man took
- fright, lie saw a rista of Thursday even-
lavs with you, lie detected the noose you
r. nnt to slip over his head,
j It 1 had 'not positively known you I
L tiould not have believed In yeur foolish
bpss. And the man told me that girls Ilka
t you ara not such exceptions as to be unl
que. Others use such schemes to secure
what. In less cultured circles, are called
j- "steadies."
The same general prinoiplea underlie all
t things. Why can you not apply them to
1 yourself? "If you had a valuable set of
rmin voa would not be throwing It
. , A .hi... thf
if
r Home Life
lousekeentng In Holland means work
ihout end. In the larger cities, where
the customs of other lands are adopted to
a considerable extent. Home hi is con
ducted on less strictly Dutch lines. But
In the smaller towns and villages the
housewife of today manages her home In
much tbo same manner as her grand
mother 1L
Too continyal scrttbbing, rubbing and
polishing la supposed to be the result of
the easy Access to such an abundant water
supply. There la another reason, however,
why floors, furniture and metal utensils
must bo constantly cleaned and polished.
The climate being moist and damp, the
houaakeepor roust exert herself In the
ffort to banish rust and mold. The open
fireplaces that 'axo common institutions
and often welcome comforts In the sum
"Ofc, Tm about ven'wlth tbts
VOrtd."
a low's tht?
1 Lzure that I owe m tauy
1 ""'' "'Mi'" in nZTmTZZmt
"IjAWYKR."
of very phony looking roses, and a little
tot tottering around and all that good old
slushy Junk. Then stop by step could be
portrayed " the series of progressions to
ward the fatal snare or the cruel misun
derstanding preceding the part where look
ing up Into his eyes she then to him did
say.
"Of course, this may seem a little pre
vious, but If they are going to allow oid
chestnut of song to be put In as a per
fect good defense In a murder case there
Is no reason why one can't be up-to-date
and look ahead a little, getting all the
modern Improvements on the Job to help
along the case. I wouldn't be surprised If
the courts hafi" to lay In phonographs to
keep the records of the cases. "
"Do you think It was a bass travesty on
Justice?" asked the Chair Warmer.
"I doubt It. You know, the law pursues
Its even tenor," said the Hotel lobbyist.
(Copyright. 1!U1. by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
Kxpelra for Cause.
The impassioned orator at the Milwau
kee tramps' convention paused and wiped
his perspiring brow.
"Brothers," he said, "this is hard work."
Then they ' expelled him." Cleveland
rialn Dealer.
Society Is full of people who would be
perfectly delightful If they co ltd only re
member what they meant to 'say.
are thrown around are always undervalued.
If you hnrl yourself at a man you cannot
wonder that he dodges. It Is as much a
part of a man as his nose to think that
what comes too easy Is not worth having.
And here Is another manly trait that a
girl like you needs to remember. Men
never really outgrow the disposition to
struggle, even fight, for what they want.
They Just change the method. of pugilism.
LJttle boys use fists and feeL Men use
more seductive means and methods. But
they never lose the taste for the struggle.
And you deliberately robbed a man of
the fun of struggling for you. You anni
hilated his fighting chance. You even killed
his fighting spirit. No wonder he never
came again. ' It was too easy. He must
have been attracted or toe would never
have asked to call. But you lost your
charm by cheapening It. Possibly you gave
him the Impression of. a lack of faith In
your own fascinations. And be may have
concluded that you had tried the same
scheme on other men because you had not
the power to draw them.
Do you like to be taken for granted? Do
in Holland
per, also tend to offset these two bugbears
of the household. .
The Hollanders have very simple tastes
In their foods. The housewife does not
go to market. The market conies to her.
The vegetable dealer with his cart (often
drawn by dogs) comes to the door. He
sells, not according to measure or weight,
but according to the number of persons
to bo fed. Milk Is also brought In little
carts to the house and fish is sold alive
and killed and cleaned at the door.
The Dutch are a simple and homely
people. It is said the men are slow to
pursue outside Interests because they are
made so comfortable at home. Their
whole life centers there. Prosperity Is dis
played more in luxury of comfort than in
ostentation, and this Is witnessed in the
homes after dinner In. tha evening, when
the family alt drinking tea. The service
will be of very old and beautiful silver and
the tea ot exceedingly good quality. This
Is the wife's hour. She brews and passes
the tea while the others read, work or
talk, and In this delightful atmosphere
her word ot suggestion, criticism or ad
vice generally make her desires her hus
band's. .
Oh, Promise Me!
A promise should be made by the heart
and remembered by the head.
A promise should be given with caution
and kept with care.
f A promise Is the offspring of Intention
and should be nurtured by recollection.
A promise should he the result ot thought
and Its fulfillment the result of reflection.
A promise and Its performance, Uke the
scales of a true balance, should always
present a mutual adjustment.
A promise relayed Is Justice deferred.
A promise neglected Is an untruth told.
A promise attended to la a debt settled.
Promise little and do much.
A alrl generally keeia on the rlent ..
of a chaperons if she happens to be dtaf
la that ear. ,
"- n
1 i 1 '
the Girl Who Schemes J
you enjoy being annexed without your consent?--
Do you want to be appropriated,
whether or no?
Neither did the man. He resented. He
would rather tun the risk of losing every
girl in Christendom or Pittsburg, which is
where you live! than be summarily con
fiscated. Men hate harness. In their association
with girls they like to feel free till the
right one inspires them to self-imposed
slavery. Don't debase your man-winning
to mere capture. Don't lower yourself to
such methods. A decent dignity, a pleas
ant, bright cordiality are respectable and
effective.
Take warning! Do not Jump right down
a man's throat because he opens his mouth
He likes to use his arms. Let him REACH
for you.
Enter the Bee's Booklovers' Contest now.
;fwf.....-'fl "
f7
ei HCKtA Ccg neee
32
im isl m ah r rfiil
JAti flh
i .j ana ie-v
Pygmies Hide Women and Children
Walter -Goodfcllow, the leader of the
British expedition to the snow range of
Dutch New Guinea, has returned home
owing to ill health. . When he left for
home he was paralyzed . from the waist
downward as a result'' of herl-berl and
. I i.r.
fever. td ;- . .
Having described the ' njiartrendljTg con
ditions under which the work of the ex
plorers la carried on, Uoodfellow referred
to the pygmies.
"We found the pygmies,' he said, "to the
west of the Mimlka, which was rather off
our track. Letters received since I left
show that further traces of their dwellings
have been found. Mr. Orant stayed In one
of their villages, but they all left, as they
did not like his staying there. Small
parties of these little people used to visit
our camp, but we have never seen a
woman or a child. They are all hidden
away, and even offers of presents were
useless to persuade them to produce one
of the women.
"They are a scattered and probably not
numerous people. The men average only
four feet six inches in height the tallest
was only four feet eight and one-half
Inches but they are beautifully developed.
All have bushy beards. Their weapons are
quite different from those of the lowland
tribes. They live by hunting, but they
also cultivate the ground, and we found
enormous clearings all made with their
V
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MOU&Mr ftux.
m"" -c:,r-in rnv OVfL 013
aee nreMArtcp ro such
IMCHS we y03T Cttty
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trre- rc bcm ?7JJ
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llttlestone axes. (They live In small huts
formed of leaves." v
Goodfellow, gave an account of a mar
riage festivity of one of the tribes which
he witnessed at a village opposite the
camp. The ceremonies lasted two days,
but the bride only arrived on the second
day, when, she .was brought up the river
by her own village people in gayly deco
rated canoes,. and was landed alone except
for one little girl. The moment she was
disembarked the canoes and their occu
pants departed, leaving the bride, wtu
was enveloped from head to foot in a grass
covering, to crawl on hands and knees to
her husband's house, some hundreds of
yards distance. No men except the hus
band, who was awaiting the bride in his
hut, were present, but all around were
groups of silent women who watched the
new arrival's painful progress on hands
and knees. Previously the husband's peo
ple had paid over stone clubs and other
articles as the purchase price of his wife.
nich Masi, Poor Ma.
You can easily tell a poor man from a
rich one by examining his mall. The poor
man's mall consists of requests for money
that he owes; the rich roan's for money
that he doesn't owe.
"When she wasn't looking I kissed her."
"What did she do?"
"Refused to look at me' for the rest of
the evening." Philadelphia Record.
Dour Neeo r. 1
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Tire ssirr CrK
our i pch
V
25, 000,000 V
MitC 5 THE. Y
PEt I CATERS EN
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lit
Bus is he
Day We
Celebrate
April 17, 1911.
.Name and Address.
Max Block, 34 14 Lafayette Ave ,
Viola Bartos, 1414 Dorcas St
Ethel Rrinknian, 2602 South Twelfth Bt
Alma E. Browmer, 3526 South Twentieth St
Elizabeth Boysehon, 3115 Ptnkney Kt
Irene Closson, 2818 Leavenworth St
Parker Conistoek, 202 South Thirty-fourth St Farnani ....1902
Marie Davis, 1319 South Twelfth St Pacific 1898
Percy Dalzell, 602 South Thirty-fifth Ave High 1896
Walter Elsasser, 2706 South Eighteenth St CaBtellar 1895
Margaret Eastman, 534 South Fortieth St Columbian 1902
Martha It. Edman, 3025 Franklin St Long 1898
Joseph W. Everett, 1812 Military Ave Mason" 1899
Adolph K. Eitner, 4221 Nicholas St Walnut Hill 1904
Lee Elsworth, 1534 South Twenty-seventh St High . : 1892
Mary E. Fischer, 3606 Lafayette Ave Franklin 1905
Ellas Ferris, 1203 Pierce St Pacific 1899
Emil R. Groman, 4672 Mayberry Ave Heals 1902
Paul Hartrlck, 1728 Lake St I-ake 1904
Mabel Hlnzle, 4612 Davenport St Saunders 1902
Mildred H. Hauth, 2020 Spring St High 1894
Judith Johnson, 2036 North Eighteenth St Lake 1897
Cbarjes Jordan, 5313 North Thirty-fourth St Monmouth Park. ..1900
Fred Kiewlt. 2667 Marcy St High ....... 1895
Ruth E. Kellogg, 4125 Saratoga St Central Park 1905
Mary Kllleen, 1901 South Nineteenth S CaBtellar .1897
Pauline A. Kahre, 3815 Martha St Windsor .lito.'i
Gertrude A. Voerater, 1322 South Ninth St Pacific ..........1904
Julia Koory, 1215 South Fourteenth St High 1895
Vera Kulakofsky, 2304 Fowler Ave ,.. Saratoga ..1905
Ruth P. Larson, 3468 Grant St Franklin 189S
Hugh Lawrence, 2402 South Twenty-ninth St ...... Dupont .1906
H. Hunter Leach, 2408ft South Thirteenth 8t Bancroft 1897
Joe Murphy, 2924 Burdette St Howard Kennedy. . 189.3
Frances Moser. 3312 North Fortieth Ave....' Clifton Hill 1904
Marguerite McMichael, 3108 Vinton St Vinton .1896
Catherine McGllI, Fort Omaha Miller Park.. 1905
Carell L. Nahardt, 1138 North Seventeenth St Webster .........1904
Grace Nlckell, 914 North Twenty-eighth Ave Webster. ... . ... . ,1905
Rudolph E. Nystrom, Thirty-sixth and Spalding Sta. . Monmouth Park.. .1898
James Panuska, 1625 Canton St Edward Rosewater.1902
Eva Postlewait. 2205 Locust St '. Cass ...1896
Magge Petersen,' 4421 Pierce 8t Beals ..Jv. ...... 1902
Ruaena Pitha, 1910 South Eighth St Lincoln 1902
John Relsdorff, Sixteenth and Canton Sts Edward Rosewater .
Charlotte Rosewater. 3903 Dewey Ave Columbian 1899
Alma Rasmussen, 2624 Patrick Ave Long 1896
Noble B. Rasmussen, 3450 North Thirty-ninth St Clifton Hill 1898
Jo Rvnes. 1311 South Third St Train 1895
Emll Roosch, 2021 Pierce St Manon
Gerald Sanders, 565 South Twenty-eighth St ... . Varnam 1904
Helen Svojtek, 2332 South Nineteenth St Castellar 1901
Winfleld Salisbury, 1401 Evans St Lothrop 1898
Helen Stone. 2530 Capitol Ave Central 1903
Ruth B. Stuben, 1603 Park Ave Park 1902
Rudolph Soukup, 1310 South Twelfth St Pacific ..1899
Irene Swearlngton, 816 South Twenty-second St.... Mason .......... 1899
James Smith, 4618 North Thirty-first Ave Sacred Heart. ..... 1903
Myrtle Tracy, 1907 Center St Castellar ........ 1898
Wilma Van Hynlng, 8116 Burt St Webster 1895
Arthur Wildbeck, 2205 Cuming St
Robert Walstrom, 3515 South Twentieth St.
Carell Welhardt. 1157 North Nineteenth St.
Dale Williams, 2219 Blnney St
Mary Zelenek, 2913 Walnut St
History of Transportation
(Copyright. Ml, by Union Pacific Ry. Co.)
(Compiled by Charles J. Lane and D. C.
Buell for the Union Paclflo School of
Railroading for Employes.)
(Continued from Yesterday.)
As a result of the success of the "Rocket"
in the Rainhlll trial, rapid development of
locomotives began, and on October 4, 1K30,
Stephenson's locomotive, "Planet," wss
placed In operation on the Liverpool &
Manchester railroad. This locomotive took
the first load of merchandise from Liver
pool to Manchester, carrying eighteen
wagon loads of cotton, 200 barrels of flour,
sixty-three sacks of oatmeal, and thirty
four tacks of malt eighty-four tons in all
covering the distance In two hours and
thirty-nine minutes. -The "Planet" was the
prototype of the modern English locomo
tive; In It the locomotive engine assumed
a definite and permanent form.
The "Stourbridge Lion" opens the story
of steam engine use on Ameslcan railways.
Horatio Allen, tha chief engineer of the
Delaware & Hudson Canal company, was
sent to Englsnd tor such a machine. He
brought the "Lion" back as a trophy of
that trip. It made its first trip out of
Honesdale on August I, 185), with Indif
ferent results, but was remodeled later
on and made serviceable.
On August 28, 1830, the first steam loco
motive built In America left Baltimore on
its trial trip over the Baltimore Ohio
railroad. This engine, which was built by
Peter Cooper and named, the "Tom
Thumb." had a vertical boiler with flues
made of gun-barrels. The boiler was
mounted on a frame on four wheels; there
was one vertical cylinder connected te the
drivers by gearing. A fan was used to
produce the draught. The "Tom Thumb"
weight a little less than a ton and the
engine developed only one horse .power.
Nevertheless, it drew four and one-half
tons over the curves and grades of ths
road at a speed of over twelve miles an
hour, making the first trip from Balttmors
Oliver Evans, an American Inventor,
made the first high preiaure stvam en
gine and the first steam dredging machine
used in America. To move this dredge from
iiia shop to the Schuylkill river, one and
one-half miles distant, he mounted the
dredge on wheels, connected them to the
ileum machinery, and thus propelled the
dredge by steam to the launching place.
This was In 1MM, and was the first vehicle
propelled by steam on land In America;
and moreover, the flr.t practical propulsion
by steam In the world.
In Stevens built a small experimental
railway at iiubeken .New Jersey,
; l.r'iL:
JOHN rARKER COMSTOCK
2t2 South Thirty-fourth Street.
School. ar.'
.Pacific 1903
. Comenlus 190S
, Manoroft 1902
.German Lutheran . 1904
. Druid Hill 1902
. Farnani , .1901
, Kelloni
.High ..
, Webster
, Lothrop
, Dupont
, . .1897
...1895
,. .1904
. . .1897
, . .1904
j
to Ellicott Mills without a break in an
hour and a quarter, and the return trip in
fifty-seven minutes.
At the same time another locomotive,
called the "Best Friend," was built at the
West Point foundry for the Charleston &
Hamburg railroad.
On AuguHt 9 of the following year the
"DeWilt Clinton" was put in service on
the Mohawk & Hudson railroad. This lo
comotive wan built by the West Point
foundry. The DeWItt Clinton weighed
less than 7,0o0 pounds and was said to
have been the first horixontal boiler ever
used in America.
In 1U1 the "John Bull," an English lo
comotive, was Imported for use on the
Camden & Amboy railroad. This wss the
first engine to draw a regular passenger
train In tha world.
A number ot different engines were
brought put' during 1M1 and 1832, the most
Important of which was "Old Irqnuldes,"
Matblas Baldwin's first locomotive. This
engine was built for the Philadelphia, Ger
mantown Morristown railroad.
From this time on, locomotive develop
ment was rapid, and a great number of
engines of different types were brought
out. In 1832, John B. Jarvls designed the
leading and guiding truck for better dis
tribution of weight, and extension of wheel
base. In 1S12, the first locomotive with
link motion appeared. James Brooks and
Henry Campbell of Philadelphia worked
out the plan of four connected drivers,
their first engine of this type appearing
in 1&36. In 1837, Joseph H. Harrison de
signed equalizers to overcoms the varying
elevations in track.
The "Sandusky" was the first Rogere'
locomotive and the first locomotive west
of the Ohio river. It was built In 183.
The first locomotive west of Chicago was
the "Pioneer," of the Chicago North
western line, built In 1848.
(To be Continued )
Adam lilt First.
"I'm sorry you've got to leave Eden and
go to work simply because I gave you
the rest of that apple," said contrite Eve.
"Never mind." answered Adam. "The ul
timate consumer always gets the worst
of it." Washington Star.
Uslsg Their Uaty.
City Visitor ito farmer) lo you keep
good hens?
Farmer 1 should say I do. Home of them
say, "Now X lay uie," iwlue a day. me.