14
THK HVK: OMAHA.
SATURDAY
i i.
APRIL S. 1911.
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L:
Till; OMAHA DAILY BEE
rolNDKD ISY KIHVARD IlOf EWATER.
VI' TOIt I1DSKWAIER, EDITOR.
I'nterert at Omaha postofflc second-
m matter.
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MARCH CIRCULATION
48,017
Stat of Nebraska. County of Douglas. s.
Dwight Williams, circulation manager of
The Be Publishing Company, being duly
iworn, says that th aver dally clrcu
aiion, less spoiled, unused and returned
oples, for th month of March, 1911. was
.17. il WIGHT WILLIAMS.
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before me this 81st day of March, ltfll.
' (bal.) HUBERT HUNTER.
Notary Public.
subscriber Iravlria- the city tem
porarily ahoald have The Be
mailed la them. Address will b
What was it Dr. Cook was sayln?
when something intervened?
My, but won't Joe Bailey be mad
now at those antl-LorimeriteR.
What would the democratic party
be) without Its Hamlet Bryan?
K will be two years beff e we get
another legislature. Thank the Lord.
Even Rear Admiral Peary cannot
force High Private Cook out of the
ranks.
Robert K. Peary, now that hj is in
retirement, draws the highest salary
of his life.
Governor Aldrlch'a veto pen is cer
tainly making inroads on the work of
the legislature.
"You're standing on my ' pu'toll,"
exclaims; China to Russia. An i the
bear only growls.
.' I
Porflfio Diaz might make .in ac
ceptable candidate for Grand Sachem
of Tammany hall.
How does Mr. Bryan-make out that
he Is an insurgent? Hasn't he stood
pat on everything?
tarter Harrison. Jr., la one man
who Has never departed from the ex
ample of his father.
Do not ask the man sitting st bis
desk if lie is busy. He ould not be
there, if he were not."
"Ktery man should know every
thing;' says a half-baked philosopher.
Somu. imagine they do. '
The clock la stopped at Lincoln, but
thejrushlng stream of half-baked leg
iBlation surges madly on.
' 'I '
The base ball man and the weather
man 'ought' to get together. Maybe
this 8 a case for arbitration.
Senator La Follette has Introduced
a resolution to reinvestigate Lorlmer.
Goodbye. Billy, "take keer "yourself."
"Billy" Lorlmer has nothing to say,
which is not. an unusual condition
when" a man is caught with the goods.
The writer on "Seven Infamous
Women," it will be noted, went back
into history some centuries to get
them.
Leslie M. Shaw is going to Alaska.
That' ought to inspire a new scare
about the interests grabbing the pen
insular,' Too bad those obstreperous Insur
rectoa continue to Interrupt the sleep
of the patriots at Juarez with mid
night "tombs.
"Boston." says the Philadelphia In
quirer,1 "has found the easiest war to
advertise a new play." How, to keep
it off the stage?
Dyed furs are said to retain their
color longer than naturally-colored
skins. That rule will not apply to
hair, though, eh Maude?
Mgry Garden assures us that life is
not a-Sunday school book. No, gome
of the' illustrations make It look nore
like a blood-and-thunder novel.
The Irony of Jack Johnson's im
prisonment is In the fact that ne gave
up an engagement of $2,500 a week
to go to dear old San Francisco to
speed In his auto.
Northwest Nebraska towns are now
engaged In a lively scramble for the
location of the new agricultural
school. This la too pretty a plum to
be permitted to go by default.
Omaha citizens will have to strug
gle along under a misfit charter until
such time as they may be permitted
to adopt one of their own without In
tervention of the legislature or of the
.governor.
Republicans Closing; Ranks.
The radical members of the senate
evidently are to have their share of
the desirable committeeships In the
reorganization. Senator Cinllinjipr.
one tf the leading; conservatives,
chairman of the committee on com
mittees, has pursued a very wise and
generous course in Inviting the pro
gressives to express their preferences,
and they have done so without ap
parent reservation. For example.
Senators La Kollette, Cummins, Clapp
andvX'rawford, four of the most con
spicuous of the radical leaders, are
slated for prominent positions. Both
Cummins and t.a Follette will be
placed on the finance committee,
where they have been anxious to land
ever since they have been members of
the senate. This will enable them to
promote many of their favorite plans
and policies. Both, doubtless, will
retain the ' chairmanships ihey now
hold. Clapp'a elevation to the chair
manship of the committee on Inter
state commerce will be one of the
greatest concessions made to this fac
tion. About the question of Inter
ntate commerce clings much of the
history of the radical wing of the
party. It is a strategical position.
Crawford's succession to Burnham at
the head of the claims committee Is
another big concession. WTiiie these
proposed appointments serve to Indi
cate the shirting Identity of the sen
ate, they nonetheless mark the grati
fying tendency of republicans to close
ranks and" march to a common order.
This Is what they should do. It will
mean advantage, not only to the pHrty,
but to the country.
Third Peace Congress.
The third national peace congress,
which convenes in Chicago May 3,
should be more notable In point of re
sults than either of the preceding con
ferences. It will have a stronger,
more tangible peace community back
of It. The first congress was held In
1893, during the World's fair, and the
second in 1909. Eighteen years ago
the propaganda of world peace was
quite an uncertain factor In the forces
of nations, and even two years ago It
was not what it is today. This com
ing meeting In Chicago, therefore,
should prove to be a powerful stimu
lus to the varied movements that go
to make up the orfe Plan of intrno-
Jtional friendship among the powers of
the earth.
Definite form and expression have
been given to what was a few yearg ago
but the shapeless sentiment of well
meaning people. The thing has
crystallized Into actual being. Polit
ical authority has given it Its sanction.
Practical men are preaching it. This
very session of congress In Washing
ton may, in fact, discloses the con
summation of a compact of peace be
tween the United States and Great
Britain by the terms of which these
two great nations shall war no more
against each other, thus settinir to
other powers an example of lrreststl-
ble attraction
i This peace assemblage In Chicago
lis to be distinctly representative
States will send their delegates and
these delegates will go from commer
cial bodies, professions, schools and
churches. All elements will, there
fore, have a voice and interest In the
deliberations. This spreads the in
fluence and the Incentive and makes
for popular education in the principles
of world peace. One needs not to in
dulge the Illusion that war Is a thing
of the past and that universal disar
mament Is at hand to realize the great
good to be derived from such an in
termingling of men and views as this
will be May 3. It should become a
step toward the ideals, which some
believe are now within reach.
Women Who Win.
Miss Sylvia Pankhurst must look
with a degree of humiliation upon the
achievements of Mrs. Ella Wilson of
Hunnewell. Kan., and Senorita La s'erl
of Mexico, for they must remind her
that, with all her belligerent lmpa
tieuce, she has accomplished little as
compared with their quiet triumphs.
And those good women who have been
following the English suffragette in
demanding certain concessions to
their fair aex, they, too, must see that,
to those who wisely seek, the door n't
opportunity Is not closed to woman.
They held an election In the town
of Hunnewell the other day and among
ine candidates ror mayor was Mrs.
Ella Wilson. She went about her
campaign with determination, but not
much demonstration. When the votea
were counted she waa found to have
tied with a man, and the man, being
a gallant soul, withdrew and lot hi
fair opponent have the office. So far
as the records go, we have not seen or
heard of any such victories being
banded to Miss Pankhurst or to her
dempnstrative devotees. Does It eug
gest that they are pursuing the wrong
line of action? Or hare they been
working in the wrong field? Perhan.
they should go to Kansas.
And there Is the case of Kennrit.
Nerl, daughter of a former rebel agi
tator In Mexico. She has gone forth
and organized a troop of her own,
which she will lead In the field
against the government. Now that Is
more to the liking, no doubt, of Miss
Pankhurst, and yet the senorita prob
ably would shrink from employing
some of the methods characteristic
of her British sister. She is another
kind of an lnsurrecto.
It all goes to show that there is
plenty of chance for woman in most
any sphere of action If she only knows
how to act. Outside of probably some
snug gate receipts. Miss Pankhurst
has not a great deal to show for her
kind of warfare and her acting Is not
bringing the encores it did at first.
Not that we wish her any ill fortune,
but Miss Pankhurst might do well to
try her hand' in either belligerent
Kansas or Mexico.
Legislative Foolishness.
The closing hours of the Nebraska
general assembly are witnessing the
scenes that tiave become traditional
in that body. Three months of time
have been frittered away In political
maneuvering. In log-rolling, Jockeying
for position, and generally useless pro
ceedings. The result of this has been
a great accumulation of pending
measures which are now being shoved
through the routine course under tre
meudous pressure, and long after the
passage of the hour at which the leg
islature agreed to adjourn. Large
items of appropriation are being
added to passing bills and measures
of doubtful character are getting the
right-of-way because of trades made
In haste. Serious consideration of
proposed laws la impossible. It is not
enough to say that these bills have
been before committees, have been
considered in committees of the whole
and have taken the regular course.
Measures that have been through the
regular course In one house or the
other are sent across to be adopted by
the concurring branch without debate
or examination. The process amounts
simply to legislation by one branch or
the other. To point out the unwis
dom of this course is waste of time,
yet the cry for relief will not be
stilled.
Under the dilatory procedure that
prevails in Nebraska many of the new
laws that are now being enacted so
hastily will have gone Into force be
fore even the members of the legisla
ture, themselves, can be fully advised
as to what they have enacted. It will
be months before the people of the
state will know what changes or addi
tions have been made to the laws
which govern them. It may he too
much to expect, but hope will always
linger that some day Nebraska will
have a legislature that will proceed
deliberately and in order, and whose
closing hours will not be characterized
by the legal fiction of stopping the
clock In order to give the body an op
portunity to do' at least some of the
work expected from It.
Joseph Smith Warns Polygamiits.
The head of the Mormon church in
his address at the eighty-first annual
conference of that institution laid
down quite clearly whaf he declares
la the policy of the church toward
plural marriage. He said:
We ought to obey the rule of the church
with regard to. marriage. As announced
time and time again at these conferences
plural marriages have ceased In the church.
There Is no man authorized to perform a
plural marriage. We have been doing all
in our power to stop this. We have been
doing all we can to trace the men who
are performing such ceremonies. It la hard
to locate them, but when we do find them
we will deal with them. With respect to
the Idea proposed by som to Induce the
congress of the United States to amend
the constitution so as to give the federal
government power to regulate plural mar
riage, so far as I am concerned, t have no
objection whatever to such an amendment.
Neither has any other Latter Day Saint.
Let the state petition the national congress
to regulate the whole subject of marriage
In the United states and It will be a
Godsend to the people everywhere.
President Smith is reputed to pos
sess great official power. If so, and he
is to be credited In what he says, his
address should bring encouragement
to those who have felt that he and the
church were conniving at polygamy.
That all the Mormons have strictly
conformed with the laws of the land
or their church In respect to plurxiity
of wives may not be true, but that, on
the other hand, the situation against
them has sometimes been overdrawn
Is certainly true. A short time ago
one of the great evangelical churches
most active In opposing Mormonlsm
found it necessary to call In one of Its
speakers from the field to reprimand
him for charging the existence of cer
tain abuses by the Mormons today
which was long ago wiped out and
which he, since he had been reared
in polygamy, knew to be a thing of
the past.
Misrepresentation on either aide of
this important question does harm. U
Is to be hoped that President Smith Is
in deep earnest on this subject and
will use the great, resourceful powers
of the church to ferret out and pun
ish the evil-doers and aee to It, so far
as In his power lies, that law-abiding
Latter Day Saints are not traduced
by the vlolaters of the law.
The establishment of the divisional
headquarters for the railway mall
service at Omaha will now be added
to the Indian supply depot as one of
the things that must be saved. Sena
tor"Hitchcoek will undoubtedly Join
with Senator Brown In his commenda
ble efforts to secure legislation along
these lines, while Congressman Lobeck
may take a few momenta from his
duties in connection with the District
of Columbia to give Omaha a little at
tention. There la nothing like having
representatives in congress.
The fiction of carrying Thursday
over till Saturday la aged ana venera
ble, but aome day a court will take a
common sense view of the proposition
and knock out all the lawa passed
after the expiration of the day and
night that constitute Thursday. This
will be the only ay to stop the reck
less foolishness.
"Eternal Vigilance Necessary" is
the black-type caption under which
the Commoner makes a frenzied ap
peal to the democrats to save the
country from "predatory wealth."
"It behooves the democrats to be on
their guard," shouts Mr. ltryn.
Verily, yes. To amis, men! Roisor
Sullivan, Charley Murphy, Fingy Con
nors, Hlnky Dink, Colonel Ouffey, .ioe
Bailey all ye patriots, rouse ye! The
enemy Is close upon us and no time
should be lost! Save the republic!
In the midst of-the senatorial dead
lock season former Senator Young's
'Des Moines Capital finds time to keep
! up an-frrresnant appeal to Iowana for
a better public spirit, and that is quite
as Important to the states welfare as
the senatorship.
The horrors of the revolution In
Mexico are just beginning to be under
stood. To disturb a general at his
keno game is both cruel and unususl.
'While the fa Awy..
St. Iouls Olobe-Democrat.
Oyster Bay gave a democratic majority
on Tuesday. Let It be remembered, how
ever, that Mr. Rooupvelt was absent In
the far west.
A Pallsfaetory Arrangement.
Kansas City Star.
Government architects announce that
"glns-erbread" In poatofflce construction Is
to be discontinued. This will be satisfac
tory to the public, and as for the post
masters, they prefer pie to gingerbread
any day.
Democratic f'eonomy,
St. Ixnils Globe-Pemocrat.
PpeaklnK of drmocratic economy, the
Missouri legislature completely forgot to
apply the alleged principles. It not only
added to democratic Jobs and salaries, btit
appropriated $1,000,000 beyond the revenue
of the state.
The Agony Is Awful.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
For a company of venerable gentlemen
with kindness written over most of their
faces, the supreme court Is strangely cruel
In holding tip the Tobacco and other trust
decisions, while , the organizers of those
combinations are Impaled on tenterhooks
or hanging by their finger nails.
Eradttlo la Polities.
Philadelphia Record.
Krudltion pervades New York politics to
an astonishing degree.- Mayor Gaynor's
familiarity with Epictetus has thrilled Man
hattan from the Battery to the Bronx, and
now Magistrate Corrlgan says of him. "I
would venture to suggest that he peruse
Seneca's "Essay on Wrath." Is there any
other city in the United States wher the
classics come trippingly upon the tongue
of the men who are carrying on local gov
ernment? For the Good of the Service.
Chicago Tribune.
If the naval authorities at Annapolis find
themselves concerned with the Interesting
case of snobbishness uncovered at the
academy, we suggest that they devote some
attention to th midshipman who reported
one of his fellows for escorting an em
ploye of an officer's household to an acad
emy dance. The young woman, employed as
governess. Is the daughter of a dis
tinguished.' university professor. It may
save the navy much trouble and embar
rassment later on If th young Informer's
ideas to be corrected as to bear no re
semblance to the ones which possess him
now.
lSIS'T IT AWri'Ll
Whole Atlantic Coast Left Without
Defenders.
New York World.
Concern Is expressed by army officers
in the Department of the East over th defenseless,-
condition of th Atlantic sea
board. It was bad enough before the
withdrawal of detachments of coast
artillery to Texas, but now only 7,000 men
are left to man th guns out of a full
complement cf 88.000. From Main to Fort
Monroe the country i open to Invasion,
it being possible for "any fourth or flfth
cIahr power to effect a landing almost
any wher" north of th capes of the
Chffapeak.
Her la striking new evidence of th "de
cline of th military spirit." Wher Is
Hobson In the perilous crisis? Bo far as
known no "fourth or fifth-class power"
Is preparing to take advantage of the oc
casion, but what If Italy or Austria-Hungary
should embrace the opportunity to
try out Its dreadnoughts? It Is painful
even to consider th state of mind at the
summer capital on the appearance of a
squadron oft Boston Light.
Happily, th Florida coast remain ee
cure as a refuge for the timid. But no time
should be lost by Jingo patriots In Im
pressing on the new congress a realization
of the existing peril and th need of more
men and more defenses.
Political Drift.
Three Nebraaka towns. Butte, Mont.;
Berkeley. Cal..; Flint, Mich., and Wichita,
Kan., salute Milwaukee with socialist
mayors. '
Th south was not oner selfish In dis
tributing committee chairmanships in con
gress. It was satisfied with forty out of
fifty-six.
Th Chicago News featured a postal care
ballot showing the election of Merrlam as
mayor before tb real ballots were casr.
Condolences from the Brooylyn Eagle are
overdue.
Hinky Dink Mch'enna and Hathhouse
John Caughlln will continue to lend dig
nity, repos and poetic fervor to th de
liberation of the Chicago olty council.
Nearly 100 different person contributed
a total of over fo'.ooo to finance th cam
paign of Prof. Merrlam for mayor of Chi
cago, and got a lively run for th money.
Senator O'Gorman of New York Is the
father of a fin group of children lx
girl and one boy, the latter th "baby"
of the group, who looks about )V Two of
th daughters are married.
Just bca,us th new mayor of Teroma
couldn't male th supply of pi satisfy
all the hungry, the multitude left out la
the cold sprang th "recall'.' on him and
cam mighty near throwing him out of a
Job.
If th Infernal Iorlmer smell could be
suppressed for a few day, th Joy of the
Chicago Inter Ocean over th election of
Carter H. tarrison would be complet
As It Is, every, snort of happiness la fol
lowed by a stifling breas from Spring
field or elsewher. Talk about "oruel and
unusual punishment." th Inter Ocean
case crowds th limit.
John Tempi Graves, discussing the ap
pearance of W. J. Bryan and Judson Har
mon at tb opening of congress, quotes Ed
Butler of th Buffalo News In this way:
"It seems to me," said he, "after a day In
Washington, thst no democrat ran be nom
inated at th next national convention
without th Indorsement of Mr. Bryan.
But. on th other hand. It Is as certain
as It has always been that no democrat
who has th indorsement of Mr. Bryan
cad b elected.-'
In Other Lands
lids Lights on What la Trans
piring Among tb Hear and
rar (rations of th Karth
If the Christian civilization of Cireu
Britain lias enough red blood In circulation
to rrlion a chek. well might It hide Its
collective head In sham ss It read the
appeal of the Chinese Christians of Cl.oo
for the abrogation of the opium treaty. A
copy of the appeal hns readied The Bee
office from the International Heform
bureau of Tientsin, China, under datV of
January 9. 1911. An accompanying circu
lar tells of the progress being made In sup
pressing the cultivation of the poppy anj
Its use among the natives. Irom this it
appears that the Chinese are really In
earnest in shaking off the curse of west
ern civilisation, and would make still
greater progress were foreign opium for
bidden to enter the empire. Under the
treaty with Great Britain. China cannot
restrict the opium traffic from India
although Great Britain Iibs Hgreed to a
gradual decrease of the quantity annually
shipped Into China. The treety has been
In force for fifty years. It Is subject to
amendments every ten years. As one of
the ten-yesr periods Is shout to expire, tin;
occasion for the appeal is a mm rent aa well
as urgent. "We crave your help," says the
appeal, addressed to "the people of Great
Britain." "We crave It Just now and hope
you will not wait another year. Delay is
freighted with tremenduous ruin to count
less millions. We pray that Ood will make
you, the British nation, think of these
things before It is too late to save our
nation from physical, moral and spiritual
ruin, and too late to save yourselves from
ths terrible results of an unrighteous traf
fic which must surely cum upon thosa who
uphold and maintain It, If you do not come
to our help that we may be delivered from
the ruin whloh now overwhelms our coun
try." The question of the restriction of the
opium traffic is to be further considered
at the International conference of The
Hague this year.
Russian- diplomats knew the weakness of
China when they demanded certain conces
sions In the 111' region In the province of
Sin Klang ss the price of renewal of the
treaty of ISM. The government In Peking
was incapable of resisting Russian en
croachments, and therefore made the best
of the situation by conceding as much of
the trade rights as satisfied the greed of
Russia. According to the Oriental Review,
lli forms the major part of the province
of Sin Klang. or "new region." approxi
mately twice as large as Manchuria. It
has a mixed population of Kirghiz. Persian.
Kalmuck and Chinese. Kuldja. the capital
of the province. Is 2.830 miles from the
nearest Chinese railroad. Russian traders
are able to reach the province from the
rrontler towns, such as Lashkent and Seml
palatlensk. Russian merchants, peasants
and manufacturers have been pouring Into
the country for thirty years past and na
turally monopolise the trade which China
did not cultivate. The Chinese authorities
gave so little attention to the region that
no means of quick communication was es
tablished and fouy or five months would
elapse now before Peking could control
anything that might happen in that out-of-the-way
region.
As a coronation compliment to the princi
pality which gave Lloyd-George to the
kingdom, -and from which the heir to th
British throne takes his title, it has pleased
King George In council to decree that
arms of the prince of Wales shall hence
forth show the royal arms charged In the
center with the arms of Wales. It has long
been a grievance among Welshmen that the
British royal arms show in their four quar
ters the English lions. Scotland's solitary
lion, the Irish harp, and the Kngllsh Hons
again. The substitution of the Welsh arms
for the second brood of English lions was
considered carefully by the king In council
but disapproved. The arms for Wales that
have now come into their own are those
of Llewellyn, the last and most powerful
of the Celtic princes In Arthur's ancient
realm.
The federal system of representative gov
ernment for the British empire Is given
frtsh Impetus by a speech delivered re
cently in Sydney by Sir Joseph Ward, the
premier of New Zealand. It has attracted
much attention in England and Is in line
with suggestion offered by oponents of a
denaturised House of Lords. The New
Zealand premier suggested the creation of
an Imperial House of Representatives re
turned according to the population of the
various parts of the British empire, and
an imperial Senate, to which each coun
try of the empire would send an eiual
numbet of member. This Imperial Par
liament would be limited, h said, to the
discission of strictly imperial questions
and would aim chiefly at the maintenance
oi an mvincioie navy, in his opinion such
a scheme would best fit In with federal
ism in the United Kingdom. He argued
thst since 1SW the area of the empire
i ha1 Increased by to per cent, the over-seas
: white population alread amounted to 13 -
000.000. and Great Britain could no longer
i keep up the two power standard unaided.
e csnnoi continue." he said, "to expect
the British taxpayer to provide for our
protection. We must contribute to our own
and also to the empire's "
MS
American cotton growers must tak aa
count of Egypt aa a factor In th world
crop. Cotton has been a product of the
Nil delta for ninety yar. but only in
the last decad haa sufficient attention
been given to the details of cultivation to
make the crop worth while. American
Consul Birch of Alexandria, in a report
to the Department of Commerce and I,a
bor, shows that the annual crop has In
creased from M30.O00 cantars (about 100
pounds each) In 1900 to 7.900,000 cantajs In
1918. Forty per cent of the cultivated land
in the delta Is devoted to cotton planting
and 11 per cent In upper FSrypt. Develop
ment Is much retarded by primitive meth
ods of cultivation and failure to rotate
crops. These conditions the government
Is endeavoring to Improve by forcing the
native farmer to discontinue certain prac
tices, such as overwatertng and careless
picking. lAst year's crop Is valued at
$150,000,000.
STEEL NlHF.Ht OX OATH.
Novel Form of Trnst Bastlns la the
f r Department.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
It Is a new kind of trust hostility which
tie government proposes to eierclae
through th Navy department In demanding
that companies which sell steel to that
department shall swear that they are not
corporation organised or operated to re
strain trade. In other words, they are to
swear that they ar not trusts.
When th subject arose In congress,
v hence came the Inspiration for the orders
In the Navy department, someone had the
temerity to ak what good would be ac
complished by exacting such a self applied
Immunity bath If a trust shall swear It
Is not a trust what will th government
do about It?
It will b Interesting, therefore, to ob
serve what the steel makers of th United
Plates shall say of themselves and what
the government may do to bring to Imnk
pcvsibl recalcitrant
Absolutely Puro
The Only Daklng Powder Made from Royal
Grape Cream ol Tartar.
a&guaixts the feed
against
Chemists' tents have shown that a part ol the alum from
biscuit made with an alam haklnfl powder passes Into
the stomach, and that digestion is retarded thereby.
Read tho lahel and makm uro that your baking
powdof la not mads from atum.
EDITORIAL SNAPSHOTS.
Houston I'oKt: V. c do not believe voting
the democratic ticket will of Itself get n
man to heaven, but voting it puts him or
the way.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: J. Adam Hede
says Lorlmer Is t lie cleanest man In the
senate. It will be remembered that J.
Adam passed from public view because he
spent most of his time cracking Jokes.
Chicago Post: A republican officeholder
will presently be such a rare bird here
that he may be able to add materially to
his Income by building a fence around
himself and charging an admittance fee.
Indianapolis News: With the continued
decrease In the price of butter It may
eventually reach a point where even per
sons of moderate means can afford to
spread enough on to enable them to tell
on which side their bread is buttered.
New York World: The Minnesota state
prison which produced a burglar poet now
tHiasts a convict who has exhibited a
genius for horticulture, growing mammoth
lemons by grafting grapefruit on lemon
trees. The accomplishments of Its inmates
give It exceptional rank as a penal lnstltu
tion.
Pittsburg Dispatch: Those naval cadets
who thought it awful because the daughter
of a Tale professor living as companion
In the family of a naval officer was taken
to a cadet ball, do not find It convenient
to inquire Into their own pedigrees. The
laws of this country do not make aristo
cratic lineage a necessary qualification for
admission at either Annapolis or West
Point. "
MA INK CHANGES FROM,
Calculation on Incusie Tax Amend
ment L'pael.
Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
Put down Gov. Plaiated of Maine alio
as a democratic state executive who shows
qualities of aggressive, enlightened and
successful party leadership. Ills party
In the legislature was violating Its pledges
in respect to the federal Income tax amend
ment In both branches and was busily en
gaged more or less Insincerely in putting
forward a state Income tax scheme as a
substitute. Then Gov. Plaiated took a
hand in the performance. He summoned
tho legislative party leaders to a confer
ence, and evidently used no uncertain lan
guage In talking to them about party
Pledges and tho probable fate of those
v. hu pay no heed to them. At all events,
the conference was followed by a quick
about-face In the legislature and the
prompt reconsideration and reversal of the
votes against ratification. Th situation
now stands aa follows respecting this
amendment: Twenty-seven states (some
counts make the number twenty-eight)
have ratified the amendment. Eleven have
refused ratification, and eight remain to
act. But of the eleven refusing ratifica
tion Massachusetts and New York may
come Into the ratification column this year,
while the New Jersey senate, under pres
sure from Gov. Wilson and of a unani
mous vote for ratification In th assem
bly, may also drop out of the anti column.
Twelve states must stand out against th
amendment to prevent ratification, and
it Is by no means certain that that num
ber can be had even for this year. But
If so, then ratification has been delayed
only for another year or two. It Is cer
tain to come then If not now.
Putting; Jlngoea Oat of Baslneaa.
New York World.
Ratifications of the American-Japanese
treaty were exchanged in Toklo yesterday
afternoon. An arbitration treaty is on th
stocks for the consideration of Britain,
Franca, Japan and th United 8tat after
the present Anglo-American agreement Is
disposed of. At this rat th hobson and
Jingoes will soon hav to dress up the
Borneo Pyak "world power" as a war
bogy to Justify big naval appropriations.
U3
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MUSIC ROLLS FREEr.",:r"'
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SAID IN FUN.
"The highwaymen who held tip a train
containing a paymaster and took hi money
bags, were light up with the procession."
"Certainly It whs soiih ihing of a pay
raid." Baltimore American.
"Have you secured harmony In your
party organization?"
"Not exactly," replied Senator Mnrghum.
"But 1 think we have found a man whos
voice Is big enough to drown the discord."
Washington Star.
The three witches were making the broth.
"Gee." muttered Macbeth, "can this be a
cooking school?"
Herewith he hastily fled. New York
Sun.
"I was surprised." said Rev. Mr. Good-
man, sternly, "to see you playing golf last
Sabbath. 1 should think you'll do better Mi
"Oh!" replied Hardcase, I usually do.
I was In wretched form last Sunday.'
Catholic Standard and Times.
"You say he's a professional man?"
"Yes."
"But I thought he followed automobile
racing."
"He does. He's a doctor." Toledo Blade.
"Horrible accident, wasn't It? And th
man who made such a narrow and sensa
tional escape was a cut-rate ticket seller."
"F don't see the connection."
"Don't you see how sunrnnrlntu It waa
for a scalper to have a hair-raising ex
perience? "Baltimore American.
"What's the matter with your nephew
that's sick over at Skeelee.?' '
"Oh, he prescribed for himself out of a
doctor book," replied the old rodger, "and
nearly killed himself with a mls-prlnt."
Puck.
"Mamma," asked a little girl of her
mother one day, "do men ever go to
heaven?"
"Certainly," said her mother, "why do
you ask."
"Well, then, why don't angels ever hav
Whiskers?"
"Because," said her mother, "thev get
there by a close shave." National Monthly.
A HUNCH.
J. M. Lewis In Houston Post.
Oh, woman, with
Such wada of gear
Piled on yourself
That you look queer.
The harem skirt la
la coming now;
And we've a hunch .
To tell you how
You can achieve
That thing for which
Your sex has ever
Had an Itch.
You know you don
Wads of dead hair,
And plump yourselves
Out If you're spare.
And squeeze yourselves
if you ar stout,
And bind a hobbl
Band about
Your limbs and go
Abroad, you do.
To make the men
Folk look at you.
This Is my hunch.
This is my tip:
Cut out the rats.
And leave each hip
Where nature placed
It; go to town
I'alntlesa without
The harem gown
Weil dressed and
Natural. You'll sea
The men will chas
You up a tree.
V
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