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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 30, 1911)
JAM Ml "he (ee' ne a a The Dec Junior Dltihriey Dook The Tired Business Man Tell Friend Ulf That Poets Are Korea, Not Made. his is the Da FT 'wXl.Tn.rt A. SINCLAIR. i mfm-.i-J: (.vi.HA. MoMaV7 0 g4 ge If t II mm f i f So they tavt -nrgantd a poets' union," exclaimed Ft ! Wife,' "I auppnM they III only port .eight hour a day." ' Anything to restrict porting will be wel come, " Raid ,tm Tired' Business Man. "Porta are korci. not nd. There are too many of them" mm-ilng aronnd offering to burst Into lino, beginning with capital let ter! and ending In rhrmes, and a rc- ult' they can'i expect (o ret good wage. If tfvey cair -perfect-tht anion and gft a cloned Bhop, port .will b able to suppoit their muses an there won't be ao much Inferior work done. .' . "A - manufacturer' of ataple poetry couldn't take a"rhnea with oppressing a poet If tic be'longVc" fo a union. Just thin of the awful predicament a poetry foundry owner would be'tn tf a Walking delegate truck the. Job Just as the poet had got about aa far aa this: JgW. " "O fen and ruagtnne,' darkled o'er! J laTnomise inn mnwrn snore: I look up W thy roof of silver, And think '.,. "Why, the whole thing would come to a atop. The' mannfaotnrer ' couldn't get a strike breaker to go In and finish up that poem. : It would, take a first clans poet to fix vp- a standard vfiawlesa rhyme for 'sllvar.' I doubt' whether a Journeyman poet could u. It, cyen. Its a cinch that If strike breakers were put on the Job It wouldn't ba awty time- before they would be splitting Jolnlttvr all over. "Many people think that being a poet la Ilka being a hotfsi. tnan or an editor or a preacher, not requiring any training what ever, but not ao. not ao. Of course, any one without any, .previous course In team fitting or premeditation can reel off any thing like this: .- "" H) "green" "eTieele'" moon, You big balloon, I love to spoon And croon a tune. In June so soon I'll be a loon, I Ho grant this boon, U green cheese moon.' "Or words to that effect. But to sit down and turn out theae neat little Jig saw scrolls that fit In the odd apaces of magaslne where the atoriea don't come Reverse Bar A veteran engineer, who at the age of M haa been aervlng on express trains fori twenty years, recently met an old friend. To the queatlon, "How doea It feel to run mlle-a-mlnute train?" he answered. "Feel? Man that a the only time I live. "When I climb up on the high aeat, Jam my rap over my eyea, and reach for the re verse bar, I'm not the man you aee now. I've fed o nthe excitement ao long that I'm a fiend for It now a 'apeed-dope.' "Many a night I've driven my train and made time too when It was snowing ao hard I'd have to run ahead while we were taking water to aee If the headlight 'was aim burning. My 'amoke' and I couldn't tell It from the cab nothing ahead but a wall of black. Sometimes we wouldn't know we were movlng,-xit- for 'Iha' tossing of the engine -&,t"t. track.'.' "Did you know that -.an engine baa a heart?" he j-ambled oti.-; "Youlva seen ,a doctor feel a patient's pule when he wants to find out what's th matter with his works? Well, that's the way we do It When we rush through the night, maybe with death around the next .curve, we don't f( ait with our hands on the'throttle. aa the engineers do In the Btory. .hooka:. Reverse "X. bar. that it. ' '?': ' "The reverse bar'a U engine heart. ,f e never let our hasd rale&ae Its clutch on J the reverse. Ik-V'.a"wlth the engine's Pretty. WelCut Up Not long ago there was held In a New Enaland.'. .town an exhibition under . the auaplcea f an "ancestral loan aoclety."! and among the proud ex,hlbltora . waa a ptnster who showed seve'ral fine portraits of her great-grandfather, an officer In the revolutionary war. A frleaig waa remarking to the spinster that she Jieemed proud Indeed of her vali ant ancestor. "A brave ma!'.' exclaimed the friend, . "Brave!" repeated the descendant of the great maa". "I should aay he waa brave! Why. he ;took part In over lifteen engage ment a, and there waa hardly one In which he didn't! lose an arm or a leg or some-thlng!"--KVery body's. . (lm rdeDimcaltiee. A well-known Boston physician waa on his way to Mb office one morning recently when the sldewalka were a glare of Ice. While going drwn the atreet he met a lady com ing In thv opposite direction,,' The lady was a stranger to him, although he waa not Unknown to her. In trying to avoid each other on the Icy pavement they both allpped and came to the aldewalk facing each other, with their 4al extremities conalderably entangled. t'hlle the polite doctor waa debating In hi mind, what was the proper thing to do tinder the frying circumstances the problem waa solved by the quick-witted lady, who uietly remarked: "Docto:., if you will be good enough to rlae and. pick our your legs, I will take what rematna." Human Ufa.. AFTER BREAKDOWNS waa it she came to fall ta tove -with her chauffeur?''. "Quito naturally. They were go Often (breed to take lone walks V L! m Mfw mm 7 "ctiip"'", ... ,uiin, j Winn STRIKE down to the bottom of the pagea Is dif ferent attain. Especially aa the ltnea have to mean absolutely nothing and yet sound Just grand. For Instance, what would you say to something like this: " 'Vague chaos, muffled In the filmy sheen Of dank Inanity's cold truth. Peers sightlessly at hidden worlds And comprehend, forsooth.' "On second thought, never mind what you think. So do 1 or. rather, neither. You can't hire a man at a detective agency to put a patch on anything like that and turn It out aa a snappy, hand tailored piece of work. And even tf there waa a atrlke and out of town poets were Imported to take the nectar and ambrosia out of the honest tollers' dinner palls, the worka would stop because the union poets would carry the wheela away with them. And they could keep buay In their adver sity." "What would they do In adversity?" asked Friend Wife. "Write 'ad' verses." said the Tired Business Man. (Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Co) the Real Thing -J life, and when anything' wrong It beats fat or alow or It Jumpa a beat, like an old guy'a heart. Then we know, we shut off steam and climb down to see." "Is It true that englnea vary and men get attached to different ones?" ''True? Course It's true. Engines are Just like women some are contrary all the time and some ere agreeable all the time. Some smile and then put poison In your coffee. Some you acold and aome you klaa. My old 39 why, I'm married to her and I wouldn't give her ifp for half my pay. I've had her three' years now. When ahe goea I'll go." "Don't you feel the responsibility when your're pulling a train-load of passengers?" "That's what the 'old man' asked me once. 'I never stopped to think of It I answered him. ' . :4' .. ',' 'Whatr he" yelled, jumping Up and banging down his fist. 'You didn't? Why didn't you?' , ' 'Cause If I did I'd go oracy.' I told him. There's only me and my 'amoke'' In sight, and when we're running through fog or storm or snow, I look across at where he's shoveling coal, calm like, and say to myself: 'There's only you and Denny here, and Danny's going ahead with hi work. Now you're going to do the same, and you ain't going to think about anything else. You're going to bring yourself and Danny through, and If you two come through, the rest will follow.' "Mew Tor World. Smart Sayings a J Manipulating speculators have succeeded at various timea In cornering all the mar keta of foodstuffa except the grain of truth. A book entitled "The Milk of Human Kindness," haa been aent u to review. We have unfortunately had only time to aklm through It. A tombatone I not uch a bad thln after all; It generally haa a good word for a man when he la down. Sometimes a woman understands enough not to understand. If ignorance la bllaa. why ahould we wish to aee ouraelvea aa others aee ua? Truth la stranger than fiction but not ao popular. Brevity la th aoul of wit but a brevity In your bank account finda you at your wits' end. The only secret that aeems to be well kept In this world Is that of aucoess. ' Debts are like autoniobllea: we rush Into thm and crawl out the best way we can A real friend will aland by you to the lam dollar. But It haa to be your dollar. The man who healtatea la Boon married while the woman who doea ao lan't. Uisfortunee are aent to annoy and amuse our friends Smart Set. View ( Maa. n henever an author puta old truth in the moutha of a homely character given to apostrophising he skate on thin lc with banality algna stuck up all around him. Clara E. Laughlln. In her new noel, "Just Folks," Biatters wis aaw in vari ous dialects liberally through her text Mere are a few reflections on the unlovely character of man: "Men la a terrible lot ' trouble f break In." "I belav 'tis In the nature of Ivery woman t want a man t" try her hand on." 'Men wa nt made to dream about; they waa made t' develop woman's Chriatlao character. 'New fork Sun. Rieuisraw, That hunted, frightened, 'flattered man The Jnkeamith type pedestrian, Hhouid be among the first to go To see an automolble ahow; "Da likelv he might fine point see Not noted In the hoet which ha lias met. which humped him over moons or niasneo uun flat la bright rartoona. ... - ' - - I is., at. rs J frtttar hhky way! 7 (r3 j w 7a iTSa i w i V f : - , vkrr- "KeS V J STAGC AT AIL. )" J .... ccv U CAM SA31 Y AXTA4e r Wisdom from Babes "Mother." '. said a little girl, returning from ..the park, "I gave an old woman a drink of water from my silver cup, and she said "Thank you' so beautifully that It mad me feel good." Here, then. Is the medicine for ary one who feela discontented or unhappy. Let him do a "thank you" work of kindness every hour, and he wjll feel good. The ground was covered with snow, and hlttle Charlie wa trying to dig a path from hi door to the sidewalk. All he had to work With waa a small ehovel, but he worked with a will, tor his mother smiled at him from the window where ah sat watching. A man-massed and, stopping to watch the boy, he feelingly remarked:'. "How do Vou expect' to get through that drift with such a shovel T" "By keeping at It." said the boy, cheer fully smiling back at him; "that's bow." Mother waa very buay duating and straightening up the house. Little Lucy wa helping. , "I declare'" said mother; "I never saw ao much dust. I wonder where It come fromf "If I knew I'd tell you," answered Lucy. "Tou don't even know what dust Is." "Oh, yes, I do. motherl It I mud with the Juice squeexed out." r Old Folks J We have heard a great deal lately about long-lived, people, but It I probable that the oldest two people In the world today are Frau DutMevlU and another odl lady named Babavaatlka. The former lives at Poeen, In Prussian Poland, and was iorn on February 21. 1T8&, She la, therefore, 126 years old. The latter, however, I nine month her senior, having been born In May. 1784. 8h I atlll a fairly hale old woman, and for nearly 100 yeara worked In the fields. Her descendants number close on 100, and theae now make her a joint allowance. She live at the village of Baveleko, whoae neighborhood ahe haa Stover quitted during the whole of her long life. She remember event which hap pened at the beginning of last century much more clearly than those of the last forty yeara. CaaldB't lleelat. Teacher If any little girl knowa the an swer, let her hold up her hand. Well Nettle, what It Is? Nettle (aged () I don't know. Teacher Then why did you hold up our hand? Nettle I couldn't help It. I just had to show the new ring I got for Christmas Human Life. AN ENTHU61AST (PA WGJ you come around to-mor- and Play bridge "I wa fofof to get married to. morrow, but perhaps I can post Ml" .... f ' ' a 7 f a? J A Maa of Self-Denial. He had great achemea within his head, he patented a folding bed, but though he praised It loud and long he never tried to Bleep In it; . An airship wonderful he "planned, of nice propoi tlons, graceful grand, but he was rather timorods when he wa naked therein to flit. With much ado he brought to view a fuel thac was wholly new; bug In the furnace of hi hom-'-h went on burning chunks of coal; .'' - H bad a novel - Inatrt'mijit for luring fish, but when Intent on. gathering In the finny tribe he Uck. to the old bait and Dole. . ' . , He had a preparation rare that he de clared would quick grow- hair, but never tried it on himself although his head could boast no thateh; He had device to Illume the blackness of the darkeat room, . -but when he wanted light himself he. .used an or. dtnary match. At lant he atudied out tne ways by which one could prolong one's day's, but whether he should follow them h was not ready to decide: He wavered, I regret to state, until It waa by far too late, and he, alaa. I grieve to aay, waa only thirty when he died! Nathan M. Ivy- In New York Sun. Reawtlfnl Maidens. Beautiful fsr. with the mark of the suffering, Beautiful eyea with the look of the tears. I saw you once In your bloasomy beauty tre you were bruised with the blase of the year. Beautiful Hps. you are often quivering. Beautiful bosom, you often sob; Unc I know you were always singing in tune with your own heart throb. Ah. sorrow came to your too great loving. Your light song faltered and waa a algh. Tour eye grew dull with the tear of your weeping, Tou learned that heart's Joy can die. And so it Is with beautt'ul maidens. i2rrw". come surely as years, And the fare and the eyes that were lovely smiling Grow saintly aad-wlth tears. SHAEML'3 O'SHEEU ,. A Selphlde. i ?5Iu,.hOULd 1 we,r UDOn mX h'ad A thing bizarre and queer, W Ith a stiff hlKh brim and a rat-tll plume Like an Old Guard Grenadier? ."0!J!d 1 hook-and-eye myaelf I p In odd culraseed frocks, while every female curve ta lost And sense of comfort mocks? Why should I practise martyrdom And have to atand all day? IMralghtlacketa are not In It when Onee stays are built au fait!) VVhy should I ape the mop coiffure The love-locks, and the awlrls. Or pile my aching brow with bralda And bargain-counter curls? Why be a Bromide? Why. in fact. Do all these stunts? I don't. For I'm a bold, brave Sulphide, and Have learned to say. I won't!" -Maxie V. Caruthers In Kverj body's. War Is Itt we ready to criticise errors abroad. V hen errors at home ahould be righted r an" 'n" r ,na" or not notlcel at Faultfinding la always farsighted. -T. E. M. DOINQ FINS "Ott. bow did Maud f-et aioo with her shopping. I1 'All right, I rueaa. Whea I saw her sbe bad hiat eighty centa left." Just Poetry r Wedding Etiquette J; The only expensea the bridegroom haa for a wedding are the fee for the clergy, man, the gifts for ushers and that for the beat man and flowers for the bride. The bride or her parenta pay ' for her carriage and for those for the bridesmaids. The families of both bride and bridegroom may sit at the supper table, or only the bridal party. If the parent of one of the couples sit there, then both must do so. The bridegroom engagea the clergyman. If the bride has worn a' satin or other dressy frock. It Is expected that ah will change thl for a cjoth gown before going away. Otherwise ahe may leave directly after the supper. The bride Is taken up the aisle, preced ing the ceremony, by her father, her mother having already arrived, and being seated ntar the spot where the ceremony is to take place. The brldeamalda precede the bride, two by two, to the marriage place, and stand at her left during the ceremon,. Thiy reallv hav -.iti.. The bride furnishes their flower. After the ceremony they stand in line with the bride and bridegroom to receive the guests. The bride Is at the head of the line, with her husband at her aide, then the maid of honor end the best man, and then the bridesmaids. Guest are I rought up to the bride by the ushers and they walk the length of the receiving line, congratulating the newly married couple and greeting the brides- maids. Democratic Diplomacy On the morning of election a farmer came into Hiram Morse blacksmith shop to have hi horse shod. "Purty busy this morning', Bill?" In quired Morse, he raked the ember to gether on the forge. "Yep," answered Bill. "Hain't got hardly time ter go ter th' village an' vote." "Wall. I'm purty busy myeelf." aald Morae, caaually. "I ll tell yer what we ll do," he added, after a moment' thought. " 'Long' yer a republercan an' I'm a democrat, we'll pair off. Jeet a they do in congress, an' neither on us vote. What do yer aay?" BUI agreed to the proposition, but after election It waa found that the blacksmith had paired off with tverv r. publican cue tomtr who had come Into the shop. Metropolitan. Learning; Art Quickly. The new girl had been but thre week In the employ of an artist lo family, but her time had evidently not been spent ex clusively In studying the domestic art. A her mistress was giving her Instruction about the dinner, ahe aald: "And, Marie, don't forget the potatoes." "No, madam." waa the rply. "Will you have them In their Jacket or in the nood." Everybody'. COWARDICE I "Shine your shoes, boss J ihtnt em so aa yer can see yer face is) eral" "No, 1 tell youi" 'Cowual' We Celebrate mm, MONDAY, January 30, 1911. Name anrl Address. Erldle Burdlsh, 4803 North Twenty-fourth St May Doyle, 122 8 8outh Eleventh St Ifarry Bell. 602 South Eighteenth St Cecil Caswell. 2906 North Fourteenth St Lillian B. Clark, 2315 North Forty-fifth George W. Cox. 1460 South Seventeenth Vllone Chleborad. 1407 William St Ague DnfTy, 1018 South Twenty-nTth St Edward M. Erlckaon, 8619 North Fourteenth St. Edith C. Elbert, 4606 Blondo St Bertha Glrton. 3924 North Twenty-third St Mary Griffith. 2 417 Caw St Esther Gelger. 1711 Hickory 8t Lor an M. Green, 1916 Ames Ave Ira Haskell, 1624 Corby St Charleg Hogarth, 2901 8outh Twenty-gixth St... Henry C. Henrikeon. 2409 South Forty-flrat St. . , Haxel Ingraham, 2S04 Ellison Ave Hertba Jorgensen, 3919 Arbor St Esther Johnson, 4941 Pierce St Alfred A. Knapp, 3337 Evans St Myra Kenyon, 3239 Ohio St Fred Koenig, 136 North Thirty-first Ave Martha Langc, 5124 North Seventeenth St Earl R, Lane, 4932 North Thirty-fifth St Edna Lundell, 2923 Douglas St Frlda Lund, 1709 Hickory St John F. Leeden, 3176 South Thirteenth 8t , Donald Moore, B2fr South Twenty-first St Mason 1R99 Charles Moravec, 1413 William St Comenius 1R99 Josephine Marple, The Sanford Farnam .... 1903 Bertha Motz, 1519 North Thirty-third St.... Franklin . .' 1900 Douglas Meyers. 613 North Nineteenth St Cass ; .... ..1900 Haiel M. McWllUams. 4134 Hamilton 8t Walnut Hill . . 1902 Josephine Nelson, 1808 North Nineteenth St High 1893 Louise C. PfelfTer. 1131 Park Ave '...Park 1899 Joseph Pesek, 1416 South Fifteenth 8t Comenius 1901 Cbarlea D. Ramsey, 4124 Izard St Saunders 1905 Adallne K, Ryley, 3414 Decatur St Franklin 1897 Paul Robinson, 6118 North Thirty-seventh St Central Park ..... 1 904 Gustave -Solomon. 1121 North Nineteenth St Cass 1897 Charles Swoboda, 1907 South Eighth St Train ...........1902 Izetta R. Smith, 2930 Poppleton Ae Park ;.. 1903 Ethel Solomon, 2619 Decatur St : . .Long 1895 Mary Steijskal, 1204 Atlas St Forest 1902 Carl 8mlth, 2923 Seward St... Elolse Sears, 2516 North Eighteenth St Ida Wright'. 3638 8outh Twentieth St Elsie Wolfson, 4105 North Twenty-seventh St Saratoga 1903 Charles White, 1470 South Sixteenth St ..Comenius 1896 Karl Warstat, 2517 South Thirty-fifth f Schatchens Raise The high cost of living has almost put Cipld put of business on the East Side of Nei York, according to tne inoune. He alts with drooping wlnga and an empty quiver, in an attitude of abject despair, be cause so few of his arrows aimed at the hearts of men and maida aeem to have hit the mark lately. . Yet It is jnot th fault of the Jewlh maiden. Thea watch and wait a before' for a tover. but in vain. With the Increased oet of living along all line, husbands have advanced In value in Ylddlah quarter, until they are now rated a luxurie. and are almot beyond the reach of th poor Rachel and Rebeocae. The moat discouraging phaae of the matter I that th young men.ar aware of the fact the demand for huahand exceeda the aupply, and they hold themselve high, corning offer of marriage and dowrle that they would gladly have accepted a short time ago. "Why," exclaimed an Indignant mother, "a man without a shirt to hi back these days demands that hi wife bring him a big bank account." , ' "That ia true," complained another ma tron. "It broke me all up to buy hus bands for my two daughter. If I had any more they would be compelled to re main lngl." Some of the ona of Israel who ar In duced to marry drive aharp bargains. Not long ago, at an East side wedding which had been arranged by a chatchn, lb Hebrew marriage broker, th ceremony waa delayed by- the refusal of th pros pective bridegroom to go on with It unless more money waa forthcoming than had at Not to be outdone by the bill just In troduced prohibiting tight or short skirt In public. Senator Robinson of th Kansas legislature, haa prepared a bill providing a fine of two for any adult who tells a child there I no Santa Claua. The senator say that It tenda to scatter Illusions, and although Kansaa I a big state with plenty of room for catterlng. he doesn't propose to hav an Illusions scattered free and far. Several legislators ar preparing amend ment tacking on a tew other Illusion e-irh aa Old Mother Hubbard, Jack Frost, Utile Red Riding Hood, the North pole, the Costofllvlng, th Downward Revision, Mr. Harris, Jo Miller. Old King Cole, lloyl Colonel Bogey, Vox Popult and Pro Bono Publico. The other leglalatora think these Illusions should be cherished by young and old a well. Senator Roblson Is "there" with legisla tion for all needs. He ha a bill prohibit ing bands on cigar, saying band ruin many of them. He haa been aaked for hi opinion on banda In restaurant and whether they ruin meal. A bill 1 also pending In th Kansaa leg islature prohilbUng female pertormera from appearing In tight or skirt which did not reaUi four Inches below the patella or kneecap. Sllaated. Couldn't apeak to me las' night. 'Cause yo' had a beau; Ao' lak you' had lo' yo' sight Knowed yo' hadn't, though. You' a now w'en I com 'long by M& Je' helt ye' held aa high Iak yo'd business hi the sky. W'en yo' com' Into de chu'eh. Wouldn't rotic me; Well. I aln' a-carln' much '('ause o' didn't see. On'v I want yo' ' know lat wen you' ain't got no bea i, Needn't apeak t me no mo'. Will Herbert in Everybody's. f Must Stand for "Santa" H Schawl. Vear .Saratoga 1 SSI Pacific lS9f .Leavenworth 190J .Lake 1904 .Clifton Hill 189S .Comenius ..1905 . .Comenlus ....... .190 .Mason 1 $99 .Saratoga ISM .Walnut Hill. .... .1399 .High ....1898 .Central .1903 .Comenlus 1903 .Saratoga 1901 .Lake ..1903 .Vinton 1902 .nea.ls 190S .Saratoga ... ..1899 , .Windsor 1897 , .Deals 1900 , .Pruld Hill 1902 .High 1893 .High 1894 . Sherman 1898 .Monmouth rark...1902 . Farnam . 1906 , . Comenius .1904 .Forest ..........1905 St St .Long 1897 ..Lake .1898 Vinton 1898 St Windsor .....1898 Price of Husbands J first been agreed upon. The tears of the bride-elect, the pleadings of friends, could not move him, ao the relatives of the .young woman had to rush about to procure the. extra money demanded tiefore the cere mony could proceed. The college graduate Is in greatest de mand In the East side matrimonial market, and usually brlnga the highest pi-Ice. At tlmea he cannot be obtained at any price. A young man about to be graduated from a medical school was recently approached by a scatchen with a most flattering offer of marriage, which Included a big dowry to -support the young physician while he worked up a practice. Me refused the pro poaal and declared that he could not ba "bought." He aald that he would chooa hi own brld when he got ready to marry. Many of the American born girl do not take kindly to the transaction of the achatchen. When asked to dress up for the appcarancs of possible suitors, one of them objected most strenuously. "I don't want any men coming here to examine me as tf I were a horse for sale." she Indignantly protested, "and wanting to know how much money they will get with me. I don't want to get married at all. If I do marry It will be for love. I'll not be bargained for." In spite of the present rebellious attitude of youth and maiden, although they may not know It, th achatchen ha a hand In bringing about many marriage among both th rich and the poor. The coat of hi ser vice la higher than before. Formerly -he received from 1 to 2 per cent of the dowry. Today he aak 6 per cent of small dowries and from to t to i per cent of the larger one. Daily Health Hint "There I a tendency nowaday to overdo what you have aptly termed 'physical training.' What we need to develop I not ao much strength as health-not big bunches of unhandsome muscles, but sup pleness, especially of th aplnal column. In thia I think you will fully agree with me. To the average person, employed In sedentary work, big musoles ar useless." Mother Bob. how often have I asked you to stop! You mustn't teas baby In that manner. Bob In what manner must. I teas him? He's only a kid, and won't know on man ner from another. PARTTHO. "I told him that U it waa ooi my money ba wanted, tba beat thine could do would bt to part and b said, 'Certainly, bow modLwould 1 9axt.witbr "