THE HKK: OmImTA. FRIDAY. .TANTATiV 20. 1011.
p)a
f
The Dee's Junior IMrlhday Rook
The Tired Business Man
Tell Friend Wife the
Ktyxvllle Kxchangr Will
Have llello (Jlrls.
his is the DayK
BT WALTTtrt A. SINCLAIR.
4
ge
I see a spiritualist says f will Boon In-
able to telephone to splrlt-land." remarked
Friend Wife. I
"Of course, the ex hange at Shade will
have hello girls." replied the Tired Husl
ne Man. "I said that V very plainly.
Or possibly she refer to long-distance
calls to Kentucky. I frequently hear that
tall now 'Uimme Bourbon 1K71." When
they get that line working I want to nonv
Inate Madame Psladlno'g old pirate friend
'John' for Information. A a person who
never on the Job when called for
and who waa alwaya giving valuable mis
Infortnatlon he would make an Ideal In
formation. "Probably the spiritualist lady who pre-
meted thia telephone uiu not nave tne
Sympathy of the other mediums, for It will
mean lark of business for them when any-
one who wishes) to commune with the
spirits ran get on a line at the nearest
J drug atora In prohibition states. Of
I course, somebody will have to Invent a
? 15-cent piece for alot telephonea. Other
wlae they would have to use the two
, ralla for a quarter.
i "Peraonally 1 should consider It would
1 be very annoying to a good, respectable
i ahada to be at the merc y of a telephone
operator who could call him to the Instru
ment at all hours of the day and night
and then probably find he was ths wrong
party.
"Whether they will Install party lines
for economical shades I have not heard.
but I'll bet there will be plenty of exclusive
ghoata who will Insist on being privately
Hated, so that nona but their Intimatea
will know where to call them up.
"Of courae the Installation of thla new
exchange will be a great blessing to the
habit of calling up and telling whoppers
about the work at the office and why they
wouldn't be home that evening. I haven't
heard the" details and don't know whether
the other end of the line can call tip, but
If they do there won't be a thing to It when
they begin to call up debtors and remind
them about that little matter of $10 and
auch like. And murder will cease aa a
fine art when the victims can hurry to the
nearest pay station and call up the police
and coroner. Jolly thought.
'1 don't know if they are going to lay a
able to the other side of the Styx for
-I
A
I f
"SPOOK."
this telephone, but if they do I suggest
old Man Charon as the only one who has a
good craft for laying cable over that rivrr.
Poor old gink. Business has been dull
lately. So many have been going over by
aeroplane that he has been seriously con
sidering unloading his ancient line on
some city with municipal ownership Idem.
As for handling the wire on tne other side,
I suppose they'll use a conduit. To do
that they'll have to dig through a pave
ment of good Intentions, much of it newly
laid on January first.
"When it gets to working, the supreme
court can call up the Fathers of this
Ureut Republic and ask them what the
heck the constitution means: Colonial
Dames can call up the Pilgrim Fathers
and ask If they really rowed their boat to
any Plymouth Rock or if anybody merelv
rocked the boat; prominent telephonal
naturalist can call up Napoleon and sym
puthlze; Grand Jury can call up Nero and
tell him to come in and plead to the arson
Indictment; the I.ondon police might even
Inquire If the besieged were really anar
chists." "Why should there be telephones to th?
land of shades?" asked Friend Wife.
"To worry spooks and remind them
they're not In heaven," replied the Tired
Buslmss man.
(Copyright, 1911, by the N. T. Herald Co.)
- 1
I t ii I I a v
wc v.cieDrate
FRIDAY,
January 20, 1911.
ff
Striking Princess Gown
NEW TORK. Jan. 1.-But the coat ault
question U not tha only disturbing one
thr avra other garment In the wardrobe
whloh requlra attention. At this time of
year, when aaml-fornal affairs are to be
attended, afternoon frocks are a necessity,
la tha drat Illustration la shown a little
frock la which two materials are attrac-
t f 'it wwwrn u
la)
if
1 t If
Stories of Judge Arabin
J9
gown. Rose broadcloth waa used for this
frock. The odd shaped yoke which was
cut In one with the sleeves was of heavy
ecru lace, and a band of this lace trimmed
th waistline. A shaped band of the lace
outlining the top' of the flounce was the
only trimming on the skirt.
Ratine will be as smart this spring aa has
been t(ie cane all winter, and so much in
fashion's favor Is this new cloth that It
bids . faii'J to outrival 'the ' ever favoilte
serge. Although scarcely, appropriate for
an elaborate costume thla fabrie Is never
theless sufficiently smart for most pur
pose for which a tailor costume can be
worn, and Just now Is so new that It Is
more generally worn In tha afternoon than
la apt to be the caae with a texture of
rough finish. For a somewhat smarter
atyle of dreas the newest thing Is one' of
tha satln-flnlshed cloths. So exquisite In
texture Is thla material that even on close
Inspection It Is often dlfflcut to tell It from
the real satin, and In purchasing a gown
at thla time of the year, when It I de
sired to have a costume that will look
smart at the early spring festivities, this
satin-faced cloth la not to be surpassed.
The bodice for the gown may be of the
same material or, If lighter weight I de
sired, of real satin. In one of the soft,
aupple, qualities that are In their perfec
tion thla year.
On many of the newest tailor gowns a
two or three-Inch fringe of the exact
color of the cloth la the only trimming.
The Jacket I bordered all around with
thla fringe and the short skirt has a band
of the fringe laid over the hem. The new
tailor skirts Just escape the ground by
from one to two Inches, while the majority
of house gowna Just touch the floor, with
an extra Inch or ao In back for grace.
jaoaeis reacn about to the hips or a trifle
longer If the abbreviated length is un
becoming. All coat sleeves are long and
are fairly sure to remain so for tha pres
ent regardless of the length of the sleeve
of the bodice worn underneath.
In selecting an outfit for a southern trip
the first Investment should be a coat and
skirt costume of light weight cloth which
wm prove essential ror in Journey an J
upon the return north will be Just ready
for the spring seaaon.
"Still t Fleeve" Juwtlce us rendered In
American border courts has furnished a
mine of funny comment and Interesting
Ktorles for hun.orlsts and magazine writ
ers. .Now cornea un English magazine, the
Cuiniilll for January, containing an article
by Frederick Pollock under the title "Ara
Mnlana." which shows tne Iirltlsh bench
can once in a while furnish some humor
cf Its own.
William St. Julien Arabin was a sergeant-at-law,
a commissioner of the Central
criminal court and judge of the sheriff's
court In London, who administered Justice
from W21 to 1641, when he died, aged flj.
Mr. Pollock says Judge Arabin was inti
mately acquainted with "brlckmakeis' man
ners'," as one can well believe when he ad
dressed a prisoner before him, a brick
maker, in these terms:
"I have no doubt of, your guilt. You go
Into a public house and break bulk and
drink beer, and that's what in law la called
embezzlement."
In a case Irvolving a neighborhood quar
rel, JudKt- Arabin said:
"I know High Wycombe, it Is the worst
neighborhood on the face of the earth.
The whole coi r.try Is covered with brick-
makers. They come from all part of the
world. I know all about them."
In another case Judge Arabin said in
his charge to the Jury:
lie was a brlrkmaker. Now, we all
know what a brickmaker's character Is;
at least, I do. Thla is a case from L'x
brldge. I won't say a word, as can anyone
doubt the prlsoner'a guilt?"
r
What He Had to Say
Which would Indicate a brickmaker had
not much show in that court.
To a young woman witness In the same
court the court said:
"Now, young woman for you are a
young woman and have a child in your
arms If 1 catch you tripping, 1 will put
you where the prisoner Is. 1 have given
you warning kindly; you had better aay
you know nuthlng about it."
The prisoner, in tils own behalf, said that
his premises were searched and no living
animal was found in his possession, "ex
cept his own person." and euggested that
the pigs he was alleged to have stolen
"had strayed for a little recreation."
When a witness in a case said he was
from a certain place the court asked:
"Constable, is Barnet a very honest
place?"
"No. my lord," said the constable.
"No. To my knowledge there ought to
be fifty constables there."
Passing a caaual remark, on a verdict of
guilty against a woman, Judge Arabin said
to the prisoner: "You must get out of
the country. You have disgraced' even
your aex."
Which would seem to Indicate the court
liked women us little as he did brickmak
er. Thla view ia atrengthened by his ob
jurgation to another woman on the witness
stand.
"You come here with your head In false
wigs. If you can't speak out, I'll take off
your bonnet. If that won't do, you shall
take your cap off, and If you don't speak
out then, I'll take your hair off."
In a more chlvalroua mood, in a oase In
volving the tliefl of a pail of milk, Judge
Arabin opined that "one woman Is worth
twenty nun for a witness any day."
In the like strain, to a shoemaker wit
ness who had a cold, the court said: "A
man with a cold Is not fit to try a lady's
shoes on."
Snapping nl one woman witness, Arabin
shouted: ' Woman, how can you be so
stupid? Yo'.i ure tall enough to be wise
enough."
r
Notes on Things
The manufacture of mattresses, pillows
and cushions from sponge material, dried
and sterillxed. has become an important
business In Florida.
An argument of the designer of an auto
mobile that has but one wheel in front Is
that It steers more readily, especially when
the. road Is rough.
By the close of this year about 67.0(10 miles
of railroads in the I'nlted States, a little
more than one-fourth, w III be equipped with
block signals.
Damage estimated at 12.KW.10 has been
charged up to the chestnut tree blight In
Philadelphia, New lork and New Jersey
alone In the last four years.
Only the bridge, conning tower, funnel,
mast and turrets will be carried above the
water line of a battleship which the British
admiralty ia designing.
ttillt the Reverse. I
"Did your father ever, raise his hand
to you, Billy?" asked Tommy.
"Hundreds of times." said Billy. "But
It wasn't that that bothered me. Where I
got stung was when he brought It down."
Harper's.
Name and Aililrew. School. Yc-r,
Frank Amaranto, fi20 South KlRhtrenth St Cass lS!t?
Joseph F. Mohan, 53Hrt North Twenty-seventh St Miller Pnrk 1902
Antonle Hraxda. 14S6 South Twelfth St Cotm-nhis 1S!fi
Mollie Brown. 2219 Seward St Kellotn 190J
Mildred Hyrne, 2406 South Tenth St Bancroft 1;'02
Adelaide Caramello, 2o.11 South eleventh St Bancroft 1S!
Carl Carlson, 192S South Twentieth St Cnstellar 190I1
Kvigene Carter, 2402 South Fifth St Train l!Mi.
Ruth K. Charlesworth, 111 North Twenty-fifth St . . . .Central 190 4
Martha Cohen, 720 North Sixteenth St Kellom 1!'02
William E. Conkling, 3036 Meredith Ave Monmouth Park.. 1X99
C.uBta Danielti. 1715 Arbor St Castellgr 1900
Virginia Desaaner, 327 North Forty-first St Saunders 1904
Honald E. Dixon, 2908 South Central Boulevard .... Windsor 190ti
Dorothy L. Eden. 3025 Seward St l ong 1 !04
Anna Mae Evans. 3837 Decatur St UiRli 19'.
Evald Erlcksen, 2306 South Thirty-first St Windsor 1 9" I
Myra D. Flesher, 915 North Twenty-second St Kellotn 197
James tlardiner, 1822 Emmet St . Hiph 195
Traver A. Gatus. 1107 South Twelfth St Pacific l9.x
Sores Ooff, 2614 North Sixteenth St 1!or
Theresa Gross. 2762 Burt St Webster l'.'iui
... .... r r m . rT. . i 1. I unratiu'nrl li t li1) i
nammon tian, ou ooutn i(imnnci . . . . ...
Carl B. Hemnel. 2543 Davenport St '. Central 1S9ti
Lillian Hislop, 4821 North Twenty-seventh St Saratoga 1902
George Holly. 6842 North Forty-fifth St Central Park 1901
Etta Hotchklns, 3024 Seward St Long 1S98
Marguerite Hough, 2023 Locust St Lothrop 198
Harry Hoye, 1815 Martha St Castellar 1903
James R. Johnson, 3621 Brown St Central Park 19o5
Evelyn Johnson, 1023 North Thirty-eighth St Franklin 1902
Annie Kaldoc, 1247 South Fourteenth St Cotuenlus 190-'
Beulah Kulaksfky, 2512 Decatur St Long 1900
Valdeniar Liljegren, 3338 South Seventeenth St.... Vinton 1896
Mary Mandolfo, 311 Woolworth Ave Train 1905
William Markhofer. 418 Cedar St Train 1905
Milton Matthews, 2310 Fort St Miller Park 1904
Lloyd McElroy. 1415 Park Wild Ave Train 1902
Anna V. Mclntyre, 3514 Parker St Franklin 1904
Keeneth McCoy, 1443 North Nineteenth St Kellom 1901
Dorothy P. Meyers. 1026 South Thirty-second St . . . . Park 1897
Marguerite Muir. 2022 St. Mary's Ave Central 1899
Margaret Nachtigall, 2020 Dorcas St St. Joseph ll'vn
Deldhe Nelson. 4510 Marcy St! High, 195
Morse Olander, 2019 North Twentieth St High 1895
Catherine O'Neil. 3323 Manderson St Sacred Heart 18.99
Stuart P. Osborne, 1522 South Thirty-second Ave... Park 195
Pearl Paris. 2023 Center St CaHtellar 1901
Elma Pearson, 3302 Maple St High 194
Evelyn Pieronnet, 2201 Maple St Lothrop 1900
John Pltzl. 1201 Kavan St St. Joseph 1901
Morris Posowsky. 1433 South Sixteenth St Comenius 1899
VeliBta M. Presson, 4933 Underwood Ave High 1896
Mary Prenosll. 12 42 South Second St . . Pacific 1903
Howard Richelieu. 3022 California St Webster 1904
Raymond Ritter, 1722 Capitol' Ave Cass 1897
Francis M. Rodgers. 2928 Arbor St .High .189S
Walter B. Royce, 1618 North Thirty-second St Franklin 1897
Eugene Schweitzer. 2108 North Twenty-seventh Ave. . Long 1905
Hollis P. Seward, 2250 North Nineteenth St Lake 189B
Velnia Smith, 3201 Wright St .' Windsor 1901
John Stewart, 1421 North Twenty-third St Kellom 1903
Eliza Strong, Thirty-seventh and Spalding Bis Monmouth Park.. 1899
Helen Sunderland, 1029 South Twenty-ninth St.... Park 1901
Inez Thams, 2502 North Eighteenth St Lake ..1905
Bernard J. Turford, 2109 South Thirty-fourth St . . . High 1895
Irving Wyer, 127 South Twenty-fifth St Central 1903
Clyde A. Young, 3666 Ames Ave Monmouth Park.. 1897
iTHEL WEEKLY BUMBLE BEE
1
VOL. I.
OMAHA. JANUARY 20, 1911.
NO. 220.
THE BUMBLE BKB.
A. 8TINUKB...
Editor
Communication ' welcomed,
and neither signature nor re
turn postage required. Ad
dieaa tha Editor.
NO BAD MONEY TAKEN.
NO ADS AT ANY PRICK.
tlvely combined. The upper part of the
peasant blouse was fashioned from a white
satin striped marquisette with vpiaya of
rosea. The pointed taha mere of white peau
de sole and the silk was also used for the
pointed turned-bark cuffs. The charming
little skirt had a pointed panel which the
aide gorra overlapped. The perfectly
straight flounce was of the mariulsette
over silk.
The cut prerent a very striking princess
REASON ENOUGH.
1
TO
Kverv once in a while a new campaign
story bobs up in Wusbngton. This one Is
on llaipn I'ole, Ohio member or congress.
who did his best to make his district go
republican, but who cannot point to any
particular howling success In that regard.
At one town in his district he wa to
divide his lime wilh a local spellbinder.
The local man spoke first, and waa t4
have kepi going for half an hour, but he
made It an hour and a half. When he got
through he made an apology for encroach
ing on t'ole's time.
"It reminds me." Cole sard, ha faced
hi audience, "of what I once heard In a
court room. The defendant had been
found gulltv of a criminal charge. The
Judge sentenced him to fifteen years.
'Have you anything to sayT demanded the
court of the prisoner. 'Nothing but thi,"
was the reply. 'I think you're mighty
damned liberal with another man's time.' "
Cincinnati Times-Htar.
'Why do you always walk down
town to do your hopping'.
I want to make ths money a
ts.far m KM&l
A a K.aay llmk.
Miss Annie 8. Peck, the mountain climber,
descrllved In one of her addresses In Boa
ton on mountaineering the strange effect
that aom mountain have on some men.
"In a word." she said, "It Is an effect of
mendacity. Thus, In a Boaton rlub, one
mountalner said to another:
" 'So Smith, fat Smith, actually climbed
Uuiint Blanc!"
'Smith? Not he'.' the other' nipun
talneer replied. -
" 'Hut he aald he did.'
" "True. Hut In September, on hi return
from Chamonlx he only said he'd been to
the foot of Mount Blanc since then he'
gradually lUd himself all the way up to
tn top.' "New York Tribune.
Land.
1-and I Just now a source
of great Interest and concern.
Everybody la Interested In It,
no matter where It mty be lo
cated. We have passed the
happy frame of mind that ani
mated the magnificent l.ouls.
who when toiu ot the losa of
Canada to the British, re
marked, "Only a few million
acre of now gone." We
are-- watching the land. Cilf
i'lnchol la helping ua.
A man well situated on a bit
of ground of hi own doesn't
need to worry an awful lot
whether egga la up or down,
lie can cut his own crops If
he can't sell 'em; that's where
he has the world by the tail
and m. down-lull null.
It would take a book of
some al.e to tell all V'e lOdltor
knows about land, but If von
want to get the Information
first hand and in a most ac
cepiahle form, slip over to the
lrfit.d Show and find out for
yourself. We are going over
as soon aa we get this Issue
on tho press, and check up on
our general knowledge of Lund.
Which f
Ye Kdltor notes with pride
that the legislature is just
now engaged tn a mighty ef
fort to decide at which center
to hold the Panama canal ex
- osltlon. Ran Francisco and
New Orleant have each had
a vote of favor, and the ques
tion Is still pending. I.et us
hope that no one will dis
turb the lawmakers while
tlify are deciding thia mo
mentous question. Other busi
ness can resdllv rest until
this is set lied, for the world
Is waiting to find nut where
it Is to assemble in 1915 or
thereabouts.
M here f
In the columns of our big
neighbor. The Hee, we noiice
a complaint from a cittsen
who went home on a late Kar
nam car. concerning the pres
ence on board of a lady under
the Influence of strong drink.
Wonder where she got It?
I'ldn t Mr. Shallenbergtr tell
us that ginger ale la the best
anyone can do In Omaha after
a p. m. ?
Haaaer.
Al Weltsel may be a good
plumber. but we'll bet a
doughnut he iBn't as good a
runner a Jobiipy Ldcu.
DOINGS AT LINCOLN
Appearance of an Old
Friend oat the BUI File
Knaccsts Vmj Day.
(From a Staff Correspondent.)
LINCOLN. JJeb.. Jan. 19.
(Special Over the Old Kellable
V'nlon Pacific Juat to See
What Things Look Like Out
Around Valparaiso, Wahoo
and Some of the Other Cen
tera of Activity Along the
Line.) This reminds me that
at one session of the legisla
ture, not so very long ago,
some of the honorable geats
from I muglaa county traveled
this route regularly, not mind
ing the ride a little bit. Very
few of them do nowadays.
We have had several little
things on the boards down
here this week, as well as the
election of a native son to he
I nit cil States senator from
Nebraska. Among them waa
the reappearance of one of the
oldest standhys known to the
history of Nebraska lawmak
ing. This Is the bill for an act
to define the condition of the
I'nion Stock Yards at South
Omaha, and to rtgulate
charges for service thereat.
This measure makes its ap
pearance regularly at each
session, and lias alwaya been
a sure producer.
Others of the old guard are
expected to arrive almost any
day now. for the first month
of the stay at Lincoln ia draw
ing to its close, nnd the land
lord will be looking for the
rent very soon- Somebody's
Just got to dig: that's all.
I wonder what that honor
able gent meant when he said
that If Senator Hitchcock
would submit his record to one
of his own Investigating com
mittees, maybe he tthe honor
able gent I w ould vote for him,
meaning Hitchcock?
I am given to understand
that the governor's anathema
against lobbyists riots not
apply to those high-minded
citizens who are Interested in
securing the passage of a
county option measure, and
the submission of an Initiative
and referendum amendment.
Hie operations of a hold-up
gang la causing various com
ments here. Home of tha
members insist that the vic
tims got only what they de
serve, for being out of their
rooms as late as 10 o'clock.
This unholy hour of the night
Is supposed to find all resi
dents of the Holy City, and
those who are merely sojourn
ers within Its gates. fast
asleep, or getting ready for
bed. Another faction, and not
an Inconsiderable one. con
tends, that the hold-up men
are quite unprofessional, in
mat inev useu a door-knob tne legislature Is In ses.
In a sock. Such conduct is I and able to atteud to it offi
dceuisd. Uupcruilssablo when ctal duties, 1KL.
MAKING SOME HISTORY
Wise Men at Washington
Busy Hon. I.bberk Lo
cates Paymaster.
(Froir. a Staff Correspondent.)
WASHINGTON, Jan. 19
(Special A Bit Knocked About
in .the Mail.) We have been
a little more than- usually
busy for tho last couple of
weeks, making some history
that no one will ever read.
Walter I. Smith received ths
reward of his fidelity to the
tirand Old Party, and will
have the chance to step from
the seat of I. congressman to
that of Judge of the I'nlted
States circuit court of ap
peals. The pay Is not quite so
big. but the new Job has the
advantage of permanency.
Oolng back to the referendum
once every two years often
n.i.kes one nervous.
The real event of the week
was the advent of Hon. Low
beck, who gumshoed In from
Baltimore to take a look
around the place. Hon. Latta
did the honors, and Hon. Low
beck was shown how to get In
and out of the building, and
where the paymaster's office
is, and other points of Inter
est. He expressed himself as
being well pleased wtlh the
prospect.
Hon. Hitchcock a com
patriots In the house envy him
his luck. Most of them have
been promised big things by
their admiring const It lien's,
hut up to date Hon. Hitchcock
is the only one w ho has cashed
in anything on the Insurgency
game. It pleases the Insur
gents mightily to see another
democrat going In to take the
place of a republican. Some
day, when Champ Clark
brgtna to drive the ateam
roller over them, they'll real-
ixe fully the extent of the vie
tory they have won for the
"plain peepul."
Kchoes of that Baltimore
love feast are coming In
slowly as tho various par
ticipants reach town. It was
surely one grand display of
democratic simplicity; also of
democratic symptoms, as d
fined bv a Chicago policeman
as far back as IhM.
Several things on the tapis;
more anon. BILL,.
PERSONAL.
Jerry Howard knows what
he want when he want it.
Chet Aldrlch paid u'a Ty
ing visit on Monday. He
wanted to see what a work
men' lodge looked like when
in session.
Hen Clarke was up from
Lincoln Wednesday Hen says
railroading la fine In Nebraska
these days.
Al Tatek was In town from
Denver, looking over the land
show. Al used to be in the
game himself, but he know
better now.
Johnny Lynch taya the
'dead man's desk" doesn t
worry him a bit. Hi knows
how to enjoy nimaeii wnen ha
la all alone.
Mayor Jim Dahlinan visited
Lincoln Wedneaday. He says
he doesn't mind it so much
now, since he haa seen what
ought have happened.
' Walt Smith of C. Bluffs,
knocked a big persimmon
down at Washington. Ho long
as it had to go that way, we d
a lief see Walt get it as any
one we know.
Thrift.
When good old redheaded
"Doc" Hurrlgan was coroner,
he used to hold a post mortem
and autopsy on every corpstt
that t ame under his Jurlsou -tion.
Thla is Just referred to
as showing how the otrice
nay be made to pay by ths
exercise of proper thrift.
Bur.
The quiet that envelope
the city hall so dense that tt
la noticeable even tn strangers,
must not be taken to Indicate
that the inmates are all dead.
They're not; they're Jut busy
trying to forget what hap
pened to them.
Polly Hitchin Her Book
I'oor Peter waa a bit put out "cause he
didn't win the prize, and I'm sure he de
served it more n me, though, as he say,
it comes to the same thing ao long as It's
in the family. I don't know, however, I
came to win it, ana you couia nave
knocked me down with a feather when the
lady read out my name. She was looking
Just lovely, and she brought her little
girl along with her. I never saw nobody so
stiff and straight as she was, and her frock
was that short that I reikon her mother
has to think about saving the stuff same
as mine, for she seemed to have growed
out of everything all at once like.
I had to go up and get the prize, and
everybody clapped, and I never knew be
fore how terrible bad getting a prize does
make you feel; but I did keep hoping that
the little girl thought my hair was better
crimped than hers.
It was last Wednesday I won the prize,
and yesterday the wonderf ullest thing of
all happened. We waa out playing In our
street, same as usual j most of the bos
was racing on their roller skates, except
ing about a dozen who was playing foot
ball with a tin can, and the rest of us was
skipping and whipping tops, and then, ot
course, there was all the kids about, o
the street did seem pretty full and busy,
when all of a sudden I saw my beautiful
lady standing at ths corner quite fright
ened like. She told m she had come all
the way 'cause she wanted to see me
and tha Terror and No. 44. Then she says,
"Polly," she says, "are they alwaya as
happy as this?" and I says 'Yes, particular
on a Saturday'; and she says "Is there
always such a noise?" and I didn't know,
because I'd never thought before how
everybody was shouting; and then she
says, "I never thought it was at all Ilk
this, never," but whatever she did she
think It could be like? Marjory Hardcastl
In Cotnliill Magazine.
f ! f
I Sajnmy Was Loaded II
I J K
Daily Health Hint
Nebraska.
Nebraska Is out of the list
of "young" states at laat. We
now have a home-grown
I'nlted States senator.
Fine.
Boh Holmes wanta to abol
ish the office of fire marshal,
because Kddie Morrison gut
the Job. Pine.
Located.
If Is not necessary to page
Charley Ixiheck He haa been
located. Our Washington cor
reswndent reports him wan
dering around the corridors of
the capltoL trying to get used
to It. His name is still on the
pay-roll of the City of Omaha.
W e Know Better.
I send, 'dear friend, this pack
of cards
Accept them, with my kind
regards.
When last we placed, do you
remember.
'Twas sometime early In De
cember? We won our games by skill
and pluck
The others said 'twas "only
luck "
j We finite expected this retoft.
HI in- Is the l' ser s last re
1 Sort. '. BJCHTEJiX
"Do not sneer al the Juvenile Intellect,"
said John J. Chlckerlng. district superin
tendent of school In New York. "Some
times a boy can ask questions that a man
can't anawer." And he went on ta tell of
an experience lie naa wnen ne was prin
cipal of one of the New YorK schools. He
was called on by a teacher to come to
her aid.
'It's all right," ahe said, "until natural
history hour conies. Baniniy Jones live on 1
a farm ana ne ininas ne snows more aooui
natural history than the man that Invented
It. He keepa asking me questions, and if I
answer them Sammy laughs, and If I don't
the children do. Dsclpllno ta simply gone
to pot. Th children would give up their
recess if I would lengthen the natural his
tory hour by five minutes."
"So," said Mr. (,'hlckerlng, "in the pride
of my manhood I told her I would come to
her rescue. 'One short, sharp answer will
denote to Sammy that the matinee is over."
The teacher welcomed my aid. That after
noon I dropped In and took charge of the
exercises. I told the children 1 would al
low Juat one question each, and Sammy
stumped me. I had hardly made ths an
nouncement before his hand was up.
"What is It, Sammy?" 1 asked.
" 'Has a duck eyebrows?' asked Sammy."
Perfect circulation secures perfect health;
where that obtains there can be no dis
ease. Perfect circulation allows no con
gestion of any organ; no sluggishness, no
collection of poisoning substance.
Blonlnar gome.
Some folks In order to raise the wind,
have to get up a sale Judge.
eetaranlams.
The Doctor You don t feel any better
Well, how's that? Have you done what 1
said and taken plenty of animal food?
John Ys, doctor; but I'll 'ave ter drop
it. I managed nilddlln' well with the oats
and maize, und dona a bit at split bean;
but the i hupped 'ay- that was too mm ii
AitUual fuva duu'l suit luo.-Sketii'
GENIUS.
" JJir
He'a perfectly faadnating, isn't
her
"Yea, nnd awfully clever. H
blows, the most perfect smoke rin
of anybody (a the younger etl'
Ji