f 10 Tin: r.r.K: omatfa. rati'miay. octoiveti w irnn. Tin: oxfAMA Dauy Hr.R I'UUNWiU 111' KDAK1 Ki-ijEWATIiK. VICTOll R'JSKWAIKU, KDllOIl. Knteicd at Omaha oostoffue Ciaa ii alter. aecond ti.i;.m.) or puhsciuition. t-utica bee, una year r-bluiuuy lite, one j tar ll.irtJ I'tkiit nee twitho'it nunday), one ear..i"v liii, !(- una tunnu), one year ItiVJ LiKL.lVtKi.lJ HY CAUKIEK. K.ven.ng ilee vwltliout Mindaj ), jier week 6c L.vtrnitit iieo (with Sunday), our week....l'x: i'aily j'.eu (Including Sunday), per tk.l6c Lily lieu (witiioat !juiuia ), ier wek..lie Address 411I coinpimntH of ii r'-guiurltiws in lenvrry to City circulation lepai Unent. OKFiCLS. Omaha Tho lieo lijtiiing. buuih Omaha rweniy-lourth and N. Louncl! lliulfa li .-vott h'ret. Lincoln ti.s i.ntle bunding Cliirano 1.5 Miiiguetm liulldlng. New i orK Kooins llul-liu: (so. West '1 tin ly liiu a hii 'tct. Washington iu Fourteenth street, N. W. C'ultltt-.sloNDENCh:. Communications relating to news and editorial matter should Le addressed; Uiiiklin Lee, Lditorial Lpartment. KKMlTTAUCKsl. Kemlt by draft. espri3 or postal order jmynble to 'ihe Uoe i'uolisiiing Company. 'lily 1! cent slanis recel.ed in ument oi mail ali o. ml 1 ersoiiul cliecss e.seet on Unialia and eastern exchange nut accepted. UTATJOMENT Ol- ejllCULATlON. State of Nebraska. Douglas county, ss.; Ueoign Li. Tzsvliuck, tioaauier ul-'ln bee I'ulili.hiiig company. being Uui Hum. say Wiut the actual number ol lull and complete, copies of 'Ilia Lliy, aiornmg, Kvemiig and bunday hue plinte.i uurlng loo moutii ol beptemoer, li'J, wm as luuows; 1 43,280 it 43,S170 I , .43,130 4 40, OUO t 44,139 43,630 7 43,500 1 43.6S0 1 43,4t0 10 43,370 11 41,000 12 43,630 II 43,800 14 43,300 lb 4 J, 300 IS 17 1.... 19 2D.... II.... 2 it.... 24.... 26.... 24.... . .43,300 . .43, 70 . .43,400 . .43,83u . .43,490 . .43,450 , .43,400 . .46,540 . .43,830 , .43,300 . .45,870 17 44.1&0 18 43,560 1 43,t)b0 10 43.U30 letal 1,303,370 Returned Copies (,84s Net Total 1,893,685 Dally Average 43,117 QUO. B. TZSCHUCK., Treasurer. KULsi ribed In my presence and sworn io ueiure ine tula tmrliaui uay ox oep- i Mm . up mil, J lember, ivlu. M. B. WALKER, Notary L-uoilo. Subscriber leaving the city tem porarily should have The Uee suullrd to them. Address erlll be ehuuaed as often aa requested. A Texas man is going to start an owl ranch. Hoot, mon! It will be money in the president's pocket to hire a first-class chauffeur. Manuel II might do King Alfonso a fuvor by writing him a sympathetic letter now and then. Roosevelt's latest experience settles all question as to his ability to "come back" from anywhere. The census otllce seems to have put Omaha on tho waiting liat, but it can not make us wait much longer. The sultan of Eulu liked the White House very much. Jt has attracted other distinguished travelers, too. "Walter Well man will now sail the Atlantic in the air," says a news Item. But the Atlantic Is not in the air. When we get those Edison lceless refrigerators we will not have to worry about emptying the pan underneath. People of Nebraska will Judge for themselves which is the liar Edgar Howard or Congressman Hitchcock. Although Prof. Harry Thurston Peck has lost his Job, he has more than his share of publicity, if that will help him any. The Chinese are removing their su perfluous hair, but the American woman insists on retaining hers, and then some. A new sensation has trauspired In Minnesota. The St. Paul Dispatch has spoken kindly of former Governor John Lind. The Atlanta man who asks a divorce because his wife refuses to pour the coffee might retaliate by trying a dif ferent drink. Congressman Hitchcock's paper once called for the resignation of State Auditor Cornell for a lesser offense than that. The death of a Baltlmorean at the age of 107 Is attributed to tobacco j and rum. Cut off in the bloom of youth by dissipation. "Rallingt r In a Collision" reads a headline. It really would be of more news lntoreat to kuow that Ballinger was out of a collision. The federal authorities are after a Boston concern with a capital stock of $10,000,000 and a former preacher for president. Shaky combination. No announcement yet of Mr. Bryan's annual rear-platform tall-end campaign tour of his home state. The campaign In Nebraska will not seem natural unless it 1b forthcoming. Of course. If Mayor "Jim's" famous performance at Sioux City had bers In the capacity of governor of this great state Instead cf mayor of Its biggest city It would have been piuch more Impressive. Governor SballenberKer is said to be putting In a word now and then on behalf of Congressman Hitchcock's candidacy for United States senator. If Mr. Hitchcock had rut iu a word or two for Governor Shallenbrrger the governor would have been renoml uaUd, ... Busineia On the Canal. The president shows he means bus iness every foot cf the way in the Pan ama canal enterprise by bis determina tion to make a personal Inspection of the work and the Important problems attending it. No man in public life is 0 well Qualified to grapple with these questions, for he has made them the subject of long and patient study and be Is determined to have the canal completed before the time set for Its opening, in January, 1915. It seems that the two most difficult and Important matters to be disposed of are the adjustment of tolls and the plans for handling the coal. What the government has to keep in mind in both is the fact that the canal is pri marily a business enterprise that must attract shipping to be successful. The mere building of the canal itBelf will not bring all available shipments through its portals. This has to be understood at the very outset. There Lis juBt one thing that will get this business, and that Is fair and just rates, or tolls. The vast amount of transoceanic freight that Is now being traiiffported by other routes can and will continue to go the same way after the canal is built just as well as at present unless the canal makes an, at tractive bid for it that will save the 3hipper time or money, or both. The other emergency to be met, that of providing for the coal and prevent ing the possibility of private interests building pockets along the way and laying the foundation for a monopoly In the fuel, is scarcely less important. It may be necessary in this case for the government to go Into the business of selling coal. The work of con structing the canal is proceeding so fast and so satisfactory that It would be unfortunate to err at the outset In any of the details of management. Police the Forests. Surely our government realizes that greater protection to our forests is es sential. Its astounding loss of human life and priceless timber this year must have convinced It of that. All the different theories and policies of conservation In the world will do no good so long as the forests are left un protected and subject to the ravages of fire, which In the last few months have consumed millions of dollars and scores of lives, wiping out towns and homes and lifetime prospects In vari ous portions of the country. One thing is proved beyond cavil or question; our forest ranger service Is pitifully inadequate and should be augmented. It should be brought up to a quota that will at least offer some reasonable hope of protection to the forests and the people within or near them. It does seem that this Is the first and most essential step In the process of practical conservation, no matter by what theorist's name It may go, no matter whether it contemplates state or national control. It is no time to discuss mere theory when life and the nation's resources are at stake. Here is something that could be done this Increase In the forest ranger service. And if that is not sufficient, take the next step. But at all events the government Is simply marking time when It stops to indulge the theorist when It is the practitioner who - is-wanted. . Another simple thing that should be done is to adopt such rules and reg ulations as will stop tourists and hunt ers in' their criminally careless habits of leaving fires burning In timber do mains. Many destructive conflagra tions have come from Just such trivial causes. It Is also necessary to tlrow up better safeguards against sparks from locomotives on railroads travers ing forest country. These are all lit tle matters that could and should be attended to. Greeting the Stranger. The stranger visiting Omaha period ically cannot fall to note with each fcQccc6Bive view a steady improvement in Omaha's general appearance, and yet he cannot fail to observe many places calling for still further Im provement. The stranger In every city Is largely governed by first impressions, while those of us who live here have to go away from home and come back in or der to get the point of view of the outsider. The visitor to Omaha cornea by rail and gets his first glimpse through a car window. He sees Omaha from across the river or from the sunken right-of-way between Omaha and South Omaha. This car window view is not bad, but could be much better. The vicinity of the river front and of tho railroad right-of-way Is by no means a thing of beauty, yet could easily be mado more attractive by a little care and attention and not much money. When our stranger debarks from either of our passenger stations he ought to have a means of reaching the center of the city by a highway afford ing sightly and comfortable transit. There is now no way of bridging the gap from the viaduct except over rough and Jolting granite block pave ment. The roadway has often been worse than It Is now, but there should be at least one smoothly-paved artery of traffic kept coubtantly in good con dition connecting the passenger sta tions with the district in which are located the hotels, amusement places and business houses. It should be Eald that our de ficiencies are not due to lack of desire to Improve, but rather to lack of sys tematic plan and persistence. With a definite plan to work to, Omaha could noon be made to put on a better faco'ftfccu tt i' vets the stranger and make visitors feel that they are com ing in by the front door and not by the back gate. Now for the Maine. Nothing remains to be done now to ward raising the Maine but the actual work, the red tape preliminaries hav- lug been gone through with and the president having approved the plans. The experts say they will have the wreck ready for exhibition by the mid dle of February. Aside from the humanitarian and sentimental aspects of the case, the resurrection of the vessel can have little significance. What will it matter whether the evi dences support the thtory that the ex plosion was from within or without? The Spanish-American war has been fought and Porto Rico, Cuba and the Philippines stand as living monuments to the fact that the world is better off as a result and all that justice needs for Its defense is the record of the war itself. What if the declaration of war did follow the explosion in Havana har bor? That was not the cause, but a circumstance In the cause of the war. It did not create, It only precipitated hostilities. It cannot possibly change anything, therefore, at this date, whether the explosion came from a submarine mine set by Spanish sol diers or from an accident within the vessel due to American carelessness; whether it was Spanish perfidy or Yankee neglect. " No amount of senti mental hurrah or jingoism now can alter the facts. It Is an evidence of American fair ness to have a representative of the Spanish government present when the ship Is brought from its resting place of a dozen years and more, but, after all, even this can serve no decisive purpose. So far as that Is concerned American experts seem to feel certain that the fact, of an exterior explosion will be established when the ship Is raised, and the United States govern ment Is not worrying over the matter one way or the other. Probably the most important object of all Is to re bury the remains of the sixty odd heroes In Arlington cemetery. The Scholar in Politics. There seems to be excellent author ity for the statement that the demo cratic party this year la the party of corporation boodle; that the money bags of "predatory wealth" It has so loudly condemned are open to its lead ers and candidates and that enormous sums are being spent In the effort to elect the democratic ticket in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts. Ohio, Indiana and other states, east as well as weBt. But the great effort centers in New Jersey, where Morgan, Carnegie and other powerful interests are said to be engaged in a desperate combine to elect Dr. Woodrow Wilson governor of the state in the hope and for the purpose of grooming him for the presidential nomination In 1912. Dr. Wilson's friends, who admit that money is being spent lavishly in behalf of the democracy, declare he Is Innocent of any collusions and not cognizant of such a move. Some of his political opponents generally are willing to concede as much. The president of Prtnceton has entered the race as "the scholar in politics" and is being accorded every consideration of fair treatment. But grant that it is all true; grant that he is completely Ignorant of the methods and money being employed to bring about his election now and his nomination in 1912, of what credit is that to Dr. Wil son? Of what possible account or good use ia "the scholar in politics" if he can be used as the dupe or instru ment of sinister Influences? If such trickery as this can be played around him without his finding it out, how much better is he for the cause of good government than the man of less lofty Ideals and ideas who cannot be thus fooled and foiled? It really Is not doing Dr. Wilson any credit to make these excuses and ex planations. i A reader of a New York paper writes to it, "I hope DIx will sweep the state by an Immense majority, for I am against a dictator." That same paper and several of the democratic persuasion in New York said during the progress of the Rochester conven tion that "Boss Murphy of Tammany held the convention mercilessly in his grasp and party leaders went to htm, hat In hand, to ask him if this man or that sould be allowed to run for gov ernor." Murphy named Dlx. "Against liii'in nr " I iincnmuo I Ootober 15, 1910. Samuel Howies, ed.tor of the Springfield At the meeting of the Water board j (Mas. Republican, which wo founded the other day a bill was ordered paidiby l,ls fa'.her, after whom he U named, in favor or Member U. 1). Howell for was b"" ioUev ,15' ,n Springfield. His paper Is one of the best known In the $163 for a trip east in connection witbl wori.i. the sale of the water bonds Member Howell had an No doubt! enjoyable i . . r raneisco. "e nan done much work In Junket at the taxpayers expense, but, lllu,tratln for booka anJ ,,e. the bonds have not been sold, nor wauling himself somewhat of an author, there any prospect of effecting a Bale' John O. Velzer. attorney at law, oiflcing on the present money market. OhJln tl,e H,' bu'". born October 15. .... i 1k,g. In liunvllle, Ky. lie was raised and how nice to draw a public salary and , out ,n Rad cloU(li Neb , take your vacation excursion With thejlnlo law fust at Kiverton. He served one I city treasury footing all the bills. (term in the legislature and has run at i leust once for nearly every office on the i A former pastor of a Lincoln church i ' ,'1.T"'lar', , , . , ' j irtor V. Reynolds. Nebraska salrs man-: la in trouble in connection with theng,- for ,ie i.aitmi adding machine, is Operations of a swindling investing : Just 45. lie as born In Wellsboro, I'eiin., j company, with headquarters In Boston. !an,i w" for man' ytars wlt1' Weiia-Kargo . ., . . i - ii v ehief clerk and purchasing . of which he Is president. He should 1 g,.nt have stayed In Lincoln, w here he' Hyron J. it.-ed of iieed Bros., grocers, is j would be Immune from temptation. relegating his 3l.-t birthday. lie was i ! The argument "that' railroads must ' i increase fates to Insure extensions and j Improvements U not sound. It Would , h trvWaled In anv other private r, . ulby trade, g .lng Into Ihe b'isi. s In lsuo. I enterprise. Suppose your grocer nouii nd ia3 ben ith Ids pusiiu employers' raise his price in order to build an various caiaeiiiea almost all of the: new atore, what would jou do? Prwb-jUw nwi u.u. j ably find a new ftrooer. If it were a fact that railroads lacked money to make extensions It could scarcely be attributed to inadequate rates so long as groos and net earnings continue to rise and dividends are maintained. Democratic campaign managers have more money this year than they ever dreamed of having, while repub lican committees are suffering from a financial drouth, all because the brew ers, corporations and interests are on the democratic side. Here In Ne braska, where the brewers are re sponding to every requisition, the dem ocrats are wallowing in boodle, but it remains to be seen whether enough votes are on the bargain counter. Don't take the talk about removing the signal corps from Fort Omaha too seriously. Congress would have to act before such an order could be made effective, and congress has put too much money in the balloon Kttuse. wireless stations, hydrogen gas plant and other equipment at Fort Omaha, suitable only for signal corps use, to warrant discarding It for any trivial reason. If the city council cannot spend a cent to help out the shortened police fund, where Is it going to dig up the money to pay for the voting machines ordered without authority by the dem ocratic chairman of the finance com mittee. The city charter ' is very plain in its penalties on councllmen attempting to Impose illegal liability on the city treasury. Undeslred Dlvnrpf Snlt. Wall Street Journal. The Union Pacific-Southern Taclflc di vorce BUlt Is unique In that neither of the Interested parties wants a separation. Smacks of Mragadoclo. Baltimore American. The Spanish premier says that the cabinet will win or die together. But when it comes to a question of dying, it is more likely that the members will run together. A I.efl-Ilnniled Compliment. New York World. The circular Issued by Comptroller of the Currency Munay to the effect that the brinks Khali employ only honest, trust worthy officials may be a necessary pre caution, but It Is a left-handed compliment. What kind have they been employing? Vo Love Lost. Philadelphia Ledger. General Miles does not speak in terms of admiration of Mr. Roosevelt. Students of recent history will recall that when Miles was at the head of the army he received less consideration from the executive than an office boy might naturally have ex pected. His views may be prejudiced but his soreness is no mystery. A Qaarantlnable Disease. Springfield (Mass.) Republican. "Infantile paralysis Is a quarantlnable disease, and all cases should be Isolated, In the opinion of the members of tho ad visory board of the hygienic laboratory of the public health and marine hospital aerv Ice," says a dispatch from Washington. There can be no doubt about this. It is the way In which this city got control of the local epldemio of anterior poliomyelitis. The first thing to be done with every case of this disease is to isolate It. POLITICAL DELFT. Campaign prophets are putting- out some of the best "sellers" of the season. The campaign In Indiana Is said to in volve "Mary in a vine-covered cottage." Mary deserves the sympathy of every chivalrous heart. Senator Taylor of Tennessee, named for governor by the democrats, is known lo cally as Catgut Bob of Happy Valley. Bob plays the fiddle, never a violin. The United States Is fortunate In having only two poUtlcal parties worth while. Portugal has seventeen political parties; consequently the country ia furnishing po litical scenery of the headache variety. District Attorney Joseph C. Pelletier and Sheriff F. 11. Seavey of Suffolk county, Massachusetts, both democrats, performed their duties so acceptably that they have been endorsed for re election by both parties. Colonel William A. Qarton refuses to be come the democratic harmony candidate for governor of Massachusetts, and the four persona authorized to name the man are giving an exhibition of scrapping that puts the fabled Kilkenny cats in an ama teur class. Judge Simeon E. Baldwin of New Haven, the democratlo candidate for governor of Connecticut, is best known as a former president of the American Bar association. He attended both Harvard and Yale law schools and has been for many years a member of the faculty of the latter. The announcement that Miss Flora Wil son, the daughter of the secretary of agri culture, will sing at her father's political meetings In Iowa indicates a revival of old-time campaigning methods. In the old days It was usually a male quartet that furnished the vocal music at party rallies, but Mlsa Wilson must be fully equal to four men. Our Birthday Book Kmeat C. Peixotto, the artist and por- tralt PalllU"r' ' He was born in Sun torn In Omaha and educated at CreiKh- '"n ""'rsity iu- has been m his present business for the last ten yer lvi(.r j. s.uie. superintendent of the fVstner Printing company, was born oc- "ter H. l;i, in Omaha, lie is a printer In Other Lands Bide Lights on What la Trana. piling Among the Hear and rai Nations of the Earth. The governments of northern Kurope never looked with favor on the tides of emigration which mnviil westward from their shores In former years. All possible pressure was eTrrted to minimize the at tractions of the land of the free and the home of opportunity, but In' vain. Ob structive measures proving futile. with rare wisdom the authorities turned their efforts to the betterment of conditions at home, and thus gradually cheeked the out flow of national vitality. With one excep tlon no attempt has been made hereto fore to Induce a return of some of the prodigals, and to Sweden belongs the unique distinction of making the effort, a systematic come-back campaign was started a year ago and Is In full swing It Is too early to tell what effect the campaign will have on the millions of that nationality who have contributed greatly to the development of the middle west and shared In Its prosperity, but the chances are decidedly against an exodus. The at tractions offered by Sweden to homesick sons and daughters, If there be any such are chiefly improved agricultural conditions and facilities for actual ownership of the land, which the state is about to provide. The ultimate object of the authorities I the abolition cf tenantry and cultivation of the soil by actual owners. As a boost for the movement, Swedish newspapers pub lish a letter from II. L. F. Lagercranli. consul general to this country. Air. Lager crsrntz advises his countrymen to remain at home, on the grounds that conditions there which are causing discontent are equally potent In the t'nlted States where capital has secured control of everything from eggs to railroads." The British Review of Reviews prints a notable interview with Mr. Lloyd-Ueorge, chancellor of exchequer, dealing chiefly with thu question of disarmament, and an Anglo-American alliance. "We cannot dis arm in me midst or an armed camp," says the chancellor. "Any remedy must be lie ternatlonul, and we are not merely willing but eagerly anxious for an international arrangement by which we could arrest this headlong race to destruction. But when we have piped to other nations they would not dance to our music. Nay, they nave even mlscontrued our Invitation to cover an Inslduous design." With the nation's motive thus lmpunged, the chan cellor remarks that England is not aC present disposed to make new overtures for an international agreement. On the sub ject ol closer relations between Great Britain and the United States, the chan cellor says: "I am enthusiastically In tavor or everything that will draw the two great halves of the English-speaking people Into fraternal union. Think for a moment what might not be effected for the welfare of mankind If the empire and the republic together were to address themselves to the solution of the great problems which make for the world's peace. No other state could regard such an alliance as a menace to its safety or to Its Independence. It would be an Anglo-American Insurance corporation against International anarchy. International brigandage, International lawlessness in any part of the world. Its moral Influence would be Immense." sw The extraordinary difficulties with which Italian ' physicians tn some cholera dis tricts have to contend are related by a correspondent of the London Lancet. De scribing the recen outbreak of popular violence at Barletta he says: "Under tho delusion that the sanitary authorities In oculate the public with the bacillus to pro long the epidemic and to keep the medical man In employment, the mob assailed the town hall with volleys of stones, directed chiefly at the -Uffiai d lglene;' turned next to the military barracks, and 'shelled' them in turn with the same missiles; and, finally, when the carabineers had to come out In the interests of public order, re ceived them with auch a hall shower of projectiles, gathered from all quarters, that the long-suffering soldiery had to fire In self-defense, though with blank car trldge. At this the mob took to flight, a considerable number, however, of the more fanatical holding their ground, till they, too, were dispersed at the point of the bayonet 'Are we In the middle ages?" asks a Subalplne Journal, 'or is It possible that this is the year of grace 1910?" Mean while, the medical men and the sanitary officers have had to keep their houses. targets as they are for the fury of the populace, which, In their absence, has next assailed the pharmacists, one of whom has been so seriously injured that his life ia despaired of." A striking difference la to be observed among the money lenders of the world in their financial dealings with China and Turkey. Barely two months ago half a dozen nations were demanding a slice of China's loan, each exerting all available pressure for the largest share. Very dif ferent Is the oourse pursued In dealing with Turkey. Not only is there no rivalry for the loan of f30.000.000, but it Is charged that a deliberate effort Is being made to compel acceptance of the pawnbroker's terms of the Ottoman bank of Paris. These terms Included, besides heavy Interest charge and commission, the right to super vise expenditure of the money and direct most of It to the gun and powder foun dries of France. An attempt to float the loan In London was headed off by the French government. Negotiations for the loan are at a standstill, greatly embar rassing the Young Turks government. Germany am! Austria are the only avenues of escape from the onerous conditions of the Ottoman bank brokers. Tho Vaterland. an Austria Journal deriving inspiration from official sources, urges Turkey to ally Itself with Oerm&ny and Austria, as both control of the political destinies of central Europe. To test the genuineness of the hint. Turkey might offer Its loan as an ev denee of good will. A favorable response would upset the bargain counters of London and Paris and anchor the "hal arce of power" in Berlin and Vienna. The ministry of public works In Turkey invites American bids for trolley lines In and around Constantinople. Hitherto Smyrna has been the only city In European or Asiatic Turkey which has had a system of electric tramways. The total steam railway mileage of the Ottoman empire at present is somewhat over 4.UUU miles. Tur key, however. Is better off in this respect S Indepeodeat Tele pacne Dirtctoxy New IMiectory crv- (Miiiilia. South ) l.ii en.'e and 11 I 11 r f a W MH September L'Ulli. oli.er features It ntilns: Time Card of all railroads. Pagti 4-3 Hours Omaha 1'oalotfice l'age 6 A perpetual t a Itml ir . . . . Page lu-ll A Numerical List entraining tlie nsines coi responding to a given ri'iiiil.ir Pagea 261-2 Xf yua have not received yoar copy Botifv Directory Dopartmsnt, A-136S. -YSLE I. ABaOTT, K.cslvst. t V. V.' Our jl f TV Omaha, Jk I i Coun.il C.Vir4i issued ?- 1 Aiming I - " lA T t k m f A ' . J ' Uv .... r o MEM MAKES HOT BISCUIT Also Rolfo and Muffins Crusts Send for Royal Cook Book than Persia, which has six miles of rail way, from the capital to the tomb of Phah Abdul-Azlm. When the Japanese established an agri cultural and Industrial bank In Corea the People of the Queer Hats looked upon It with suspicion and disfavor as a device of the enemy, and in the year 19o7 they deposited only $121,140. Last year, however, their deposits amounted to t'Hl,760, and this year they will far exceed that sum. Evidently the Land of the Morning Calm Is awakening. CHEERY CHAFF. I understand that conductor Is a St rt bt for observing orders." so much so that when a card wu huno up forbidding expectoration in the car, he wouldn't let a man on because ha bad a Spits dog." Baltimore American. When a man on the home team strikes out h strikes out It can be stalari In plain English." "Well?" "But w hen he makes a base hit he wafts a daisy blngle over left garden for an in itial sacaer. Louisville Courier-Journal. Have you observed the Dortralta of our candidate?" asked one campaigner. Yes," replied the other. "1 don't sunned hlB methods In conventions, but I'm morally certain he has subsidized the rjhotoirranh- era." Washington Star. "Ha!" said the Russian count, with a fierce scowl on his Muscovite features. This worm of an American writer baa Insulted me with his pen!" 'Has he written a biting satire about you?" inquired the fair charmer to whom he spoke. Nothing so gentlemanly!" yelled the count. "He has named his Dlsr after me'" Baltimore American. "Did you ever run Ho a telcsrraoh trnle?" Inquired the elderly passenger. ma am, raid the chauffeur, slow ing up the taxicab to avoid a collision with street car; "I've bumped into teleeraDh poles, I reckon, two or three times." 'Brings you to a pretty sudden storj. doesn't it?" 'No, ma'am: th machine atons. all right, but I always keep on going." Chi cago Tribune. Tea, sir. meat la going even higher than it now Is. you can take my word for It; I know what I am talking about and I weigh my words." I don t mind your weighing your words, Jf!G5 Ji ""i.Jrti-'is- till ri T jjSY 'j 4 "sic.- -,rvtr? TJA'v' ; r-- . v. Z.t-y ijir p)n) JlllS l2)li ABSOLUTELY FIREPROOF BROADWAY, CORNER OF TWENTY-NINTH STREET Most convenient hotel to all Subway9 and Depots. Room9 $1.50 per day and upwards with use of baths. Room9 $2.50 per day and upwards with private bath. Best Restaurant in New York City with Club Breakfast and the world famous "CAFE 3C POTH N.i - ma.Mii-f ran 3l2&ai4sT. Illinois and So ithvvt-stern mines, idlo for five months ili is summer, f;u!td to priduco 25 million tona of coal which otherwise they would have produced. Oniftha dealers htg receiving but limited supplies of the lust grades of coal. It Is Wise, Therefore, to Order Niw! Phone us i'or bett grades, freshly mined, delivered from dry, elevated bins. Nebraska Fuel Co. 3124 South 16th Street. (Between Tarnara and Harney) Phones: D. 430; A-4311 f i : : . . . lw- .''' v. it.-: .... j a nrrwi W9 POVW TtJC PERFECT Hi and Cakes but It does mnko me tired to see you w eigh ing your band along with a piece of 30-eent meat." Houston Post. "Hack from the road, eh? How 'in you feel?" "No more for me with that compnnv." "Why, 1 am surprised. The manager said It was to be a fast tour." "And Ii was a fast tour. I only had one meal a day for five weeks." St. Louis Times. TO THE OVERCROWDED EAST. 1 The east is Just plum full of folks, They're packed in like sardines; Some are bllin' over in the clouds An' float in air machines. Tho skyscrapers rise like chickens' thighs An' pierce the great blue crust. An' It s high time fer spreadin' time An spread we must, Fer there Is room out west fer all In the golden sunset Ian.' An' If you can't go far out west Go as far west as you can. II The east has plenty to fill up time; Life there Is one grand hustle. Tou ain't got no eyes fer a purtv sunrise. Or ears to hear the corn rustle. Tls a strenuous time fer a man In his prime Wtth a tariff on ev'ry minute; The game Is on an' the stakes are high An' the prize who'll win it? But there's a prize out west fer each An' ev'ry wide-awake man. An' If you can't go far out west Go as fur west aa you can. Ill I can't see any mortal use In -human condensation; We're hound to bulge thro' the upper crust Or soak thro' the lower foundation. Some folks niHke me think of a pack of gccMi Holding gabfest In one square rod While beyond them stretches invitingly A good square mile of sod. Then let us spread from coast to coast, An' Hve on a generous plan; An' if you can t go fur out west Go as fur west as you can. IV It's a mighty long stretch from coast t coast. The expense, sure, would be great To take a bunch from the statu of MiUnt Clean out to the Golden Gate; But nerve's not larking to meet the test, An' gilt you'll get on the way. An' maybe you'll like the looks of things Ere you reach that Sunset Bay, Fer the middle west la a mighty fine place; It's equal you never saw An' if you can't make It clear out to the coast, Come aa far as Omaha. Omaha, BAYOLL NE TRELE. u II 11J Lm ELYSEE" HHO NF.S. Mj;f. -J u I ill y;sy(0 r JLlat v- lmnil