TIIE OMATIA SUNDAY BEE: ' MARCII 15, 1003.
B
(Tiie Omaiia Sunday Deb
rOXTNDED BT EDWARD ROSEWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATEIt, EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha, rostofflca a second
daaa matter.
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REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, express or postal order
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STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. ..
ttate of Nebraska, Douglas Coutny, ss.t
George B. Tasohuck, treasurer of The
Be Publishing company, being duly sworn.
that the actual number of full and
complete coolea of The Dally. Morning,
Evening and Sunday
Bee printed during
tha month of February!
.-190S.
waa as fol-
lowgi
1..-. M,TS0 1 ...."3tt,100
t 300 17 3S.200
t 86,180 it 38.930
4..- 38,aao
I 86,910
... 36,030
19.... 38,730
20 33,300
XI 86,340
22 36,630
If Bft.SOO
34 38,300
15 -60,670
it 86,490
27 .. 36,660
21 36,380
29 36,850
1
I
SB, MO
86,030
88,000
89,900
11 36.100
IS
"ta
14. .v
86,800
86,800
86,100
86,110
Total 1,048,650
Leas' unsold and returned copies.
8,437
Net total 1,039,113
Dally average 39331
UEJOHQE B. TZSCHUCK.
Treasurer.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this 2d day of March, 1908.
' ROBERT HUNTER.
' Notary Public.
WHEN OUT OF TOWS.
Sabserlbcra leaving the city tem
porarily akoald sir The Be
Mailed then. Addreaa will be
changed aa oftea aa requested.
So far as Minnesota is concerned it
is not a case of too much Johnson, but
of not enough Bryin.
Admiral Evans takes pleasure In re
porting that the battleships .all have
their armor on straight.
, i
The Mirror trust is planning another
Increase of nrlces. The . nroseciitinir
attorney should look into it.
Senator Kno is only five feet and
seven Inches high, but even at that he
towers above his presidential boom.
The boundaries ' ot "the enemy's
country" have been moved westward
tar enough to Include Minnesota.
. . l
"Why American Mothers Fail"' is
the aitle of an article in the Atlantic
Monthly. The answer is that they
don't.
Senator Bailey, has made a speech
criticising President Roosevelt. The
president's proverbial luck still clings
to him.
The, report that Boston is threatened
with a bean famine has been officially
denied. Someone was just trying to
string Boston.
A Philadelphia court has decided
that mock marriages are binding. It
to too bad that so many of the real
carriages arc not.
Any nation that wants to get first
page space in the newspapers for a few
days can do so by threatening China,
on any old pretext
A Chicago woman advocates a pub
lic school course In shopping. The
girls would naturally be at the head
ot a class of that kind.
"Japan proposes to make China
knuckle down." Bays a Washington ex
change Looks more tike a case ot
making China ante up.
The president's message to ' the
Mothers' congress is much"- more
kindly in tone than some of those he
has been sending to the fathers' con
" gress.
Hetty Green's declaration that her
daughter shall not marry a foreign
nobleman shows that she is still con
servative In the matter of spending
money. "
The next battle ot Nebraska will be
the tug-ot-war between the "wets" and
the "drys" 4a the 'larlous towns and
villages that hold '.heir spring elections
in April.
Governor Sheldon may have to take
a stenographer with him whenever he
delivers & public address. lt he wants
to avoid being mlsjiuoted by the poli
tically hostile press.
Emperor William has. yet to learn
the lesson which the vtrlest tyro in
politics In this country knows by heart
never to write letters that he Is not
willing to have made public.
Judge Alton B. Parker says Presi
dent' Roosevelt Is a menace. The
Judge cannot forget the day in No
vember,, 104, when the political
steam oiler ran over him.
Governor Johnson, who -was Henry
Watterson's dark, horse, is coming out
of Ms stall a little too late. .The dem
ocratic entry for the presidential
stakes has already been selected
tokake Monti rtntrcr laws.
Our slovenly methods ot law making,
as contrasted with the more careful
procedure of European countries- and
particularly of Great Britain, come In
for timely attention in an address by
British Ambassador James Bryce,
blch ta printed in full in that niaga
rlne for lawyers. "The Green Bag."
The defects of our legislative system
are glossed over altogether too lightly
and too politely by Mr. Bryce, for he
could have dwelt at length upon the
grotesque misfits that often get into
our statute books and the tremen
dously expensive litigation growing out
of poorly drawn laws In such volume
as almost to clog our courts.
Mr. Bryce contents himself with
pointing out"the advantage of the
procedure of the British Parliament,
which devolves the initiating of general
acts upon a responsible ministry and
Insures their accurate construction by
providing an official draftsman, who
takes the suggestions given to him and
puts them into shape. Tp use his
phraseology, the British system com
bines a "considerable measure of poli
tical knowledge of the subject and a
high measure of professional compe
tence for giving legal form to what
is meant to be enacted." Mr. Bryce
cites one Instance of twenty-two suc
cessively revised drafts of a single bill
before its introduction. The only weak
spot in the British system is in the
patching a bill may undergo by amend
ment enroute through the two houses.
. Among - the . remedial recommenda
tions embodied in the address for ap
plication to conditions in our country
recommendations which cover the
whole range of law making are In
cluded these:
Arrangements ought to be mado by the
creating of a drafting department con
nected with a legislature, or Its chief com
mittees, for tho putting Into proper legal
form of all bills introduced.
Similarly a method should be provided
for rectifying In bills before they become
law such errors in drafting as may have
crept Into them during their passage
In order to enable fboth tho legislature
and the people to learn what tho statute,
law In force actuary Is and thereby to
facilitate good legtnlntlon, the statute law
ought to bo periodically revised and as far
as possible bo consolidated as to be brought
into compact, consjatetito and Intelligible
shape. , 1 '
The final passage from this admir
able address, tthich backs, up these
recommendations bo forcibly as to
require 110 further argument, is as
follows:
Some cynical critics havo suggested that
the legal profession regard with equanim
ity defects In the law which may Increase
uiu vuiuiiiu ui juwBuiis. xiub uiiu yyretjiiv-
tive view finds little support in facts,
Allowing for the natural conservatism.
which tho habit of using technical rules
induces and which may sometimes mnke
them overcautious in judging proposals of
change, lawyers have both hero and in
England borne
creditable part In the
amendment of the law. It Is a great mis
take to. think they profit by Its defects.
Where it la clear- and definite, where legal
'procedure Is, prompt and not too- costly,
.men ore far more ready to resort to tho
courts for tho settlement . of thctr disputes..
It Is v uncertainty, ' delay and expense that
lead them to pocket their wrongs and en
dure their' losses." Even,' therefore," on tho
liAver ground of self-interest the bar has
nothing to gain by a detective state ot
the law. But apart from" this every man
who feels tho ' dignity of his profession.
who pursues It us a science, who realizes
that those whoso function it Is thoroughly
to understand and apply tho law are, If
one may use the somewhat high-flown
phraso of a great Roman jurist, "the
prloBts of Justice," every such man will
wish to sco tho law made as perfect as
It can be. .Bp, too, whoever realizes how
greatly, tho welfare of the people depends
on the clearness and precision, tho' sub
stantial Justice of, the law, will gladly, con
tribute his knowledge and his Influence to
furthering so excellent a 'work.
THE. FATE OF JEFFS.
A signal pole, a deserted camp evl
dently made by one man and a rusted
razor, on the handle ot which was
carved the name "Jeffs," were all that
were found by the volunteer crew of
the Yankton, sent from the American
battle fleet in the Pacific to the deso
late Indefatigable Island .at which
Frederick Jeffs, an American sailor,
made his last unheeded appeal for suc
cor from death more than nine mouths
ago. Ills fate will have to remain a
mystery. The island is full of mon
ster turtles which, it Is asserted, do
not -hesitate to' attack a man, and Is
fairly alive with serpents of the most
venenious type. Even had he fallen
a prey to either ot these dangers or
died of the illness which forced his
companions to leave him there, some
explanation will be necessary for the
failure of . the rescuing party to find
any of his bones. A portion of the
Island is densely covered with cacti
making it impossible for the search
ing' parties to examine it carefully, and
the sailor's bories may be bleaching
there in the sands.
Jeffs was the son of a Taccn.a mcr
chant and had become a sea rover. He
sailed a year ago on a Norwegian bark
from New Castle. New South WaUs
After months of disasters the crew de
serted the bark and started for the Al
bemarle islands. The boats became
I separated and one of them landed on
the Indefatigable lslaud. Jeffs, suf
fering from pleurisy, was left while
the party went to tho other side of the
island, where the men were picked up
by a passing vessel, the captain ot
which refused to return for the com
panlon left behind because a tropic
storm wu coming up, making it neces
sary to get the vessel out of the shoals
near the island- Through, the story
of the survivors the Navy department
heard of Jells' plight and instructed
Admiral Evans to send a gunboat from
Callao to explore the island
It would have made a pretty story
if the rescuing party had found Jeffs
enacting the rola ot a modern Robin
son Crusoe, with monster turtles for
his companions and a new denionstru
tlon of man's ability to wrest a living
from a deserted island. As that
was not to be, it Is still good to know
that the United States government,
with all Its varied and conflicting du
ties and interests, has sent a battle
ship thousands of wiles out of Its
course on the small hope of rescuing
a humble citizen In distress.
CONTESTS.
The statement of Chairman New ot
the republican national committee in
denial of tho numerous stories In circu
lation, that the committee is to be
used to Influence the presidential nom
ination by arbitrary determination of
the contests for places on the tempor
ary roll ot delegates, was hardly neces
sary. It goes without saying that the
committee in passing on contests acts
in a quasi Judicial capacity and that
the facts and equities of each case
would have' to be taken Into consideration-before
reaching a Judgment. Any
attempt to dominate the convention for.
or againBt any particular candidate by
riding rough shod over one or another
set of contesting delegations would not
only be demoralizing to party discip
line, but produce after effects which
would be seriously detrimental to the
beneficiary. These who know Chair
man New know that the fact that he
represents on the committee a state
which has entered a favorite son In the
presidential race would not affect bis
position with reference to a contest In
volving a question of right and wrong,
and the same Is true of most, If not all,
of the other members of the national
committee. y
' The multiplicity of contests In pros
pect for the coming Chicago conven
tion is due almost wholly to the defec
tive organization ot the party in the
southern states. As long as those
states have over-weighted representa
tion in the national nominating con
ventions their disproportionate power
will constitute a temptation for dissen
sion and double-headers. Some. day
our national conventions will be made
up of delegates apportioned more ac
cording to the relative vote contributed
to the party ticket, Just as state con
ventions are now made up within the
respective states, and when that time
comes the quadrennial shower ot con-J
tests will be reduced to a minimum,
THE TBOUPS LEAVE OOLDFIELD.
The president and the state of Ne
vada are to be congratulated upon the
withdrawal of the federal troops from
Goldfteld, where they were called three
months ago to perform a peace service
which tho officials ot the state had
neglected. When the strike of the
Goldfteld miners threatened to result
In riots and disorder Governor Sparks
called for the federal aid and appar
ently found comfort in " the thought
that if a clash came the responsibility
for armed interference' Would" rest on
the authorities at Washington. To
the eredit of both the miners and the
troops, wise counsel prevailed, the con
duct of both miners and soldiers was
excellent and the threatened trouble
was averted.
Governor Sparks and the officials of
Nevado do not emerge In a very pleas
ing light from their handling of the
case. After the troops had teen sent
to Goldfteld and a special session of
tho legislature called the governor and
state officials showed a dectded disposi
tion to delay action until President
Roosevelt threatened Immediate with
drawal of the troops. At the last
hour the . legislature passed a law cre
ating a state constabulary, which is
now doing what should have been
done years ago." -
The incident should not be without
its lesson. The spectacle of federal
troops policing an American commu
nity in time ot peace is repugnant to
all good citizens. The army, is not in
tended for the relief of local authori
ties who lack tho courage to enforce
their own laws. The protection of
lives and property is the duty of the
state and Nevada's dereliction throws
the odium ot it upon Governor Sparks
and other officials who made such a
determined effort to shirk their duty
and their responsibility.
THE DENVER UAXD1CAP.
It is too late, of course, to go back
of the returns and pick another meet
ing place for the democratic national
convention, but there is certain to be
woe, grief, gnashing ot teeth and other
exhibitions of temper when the demo
crats of the country realize the neat
confidence game played upon them by
the committee that caught the demo
cratic convention for Denver with a
1100,000 bait. '
The east has been plastered with
literature picturing the beauties ot
Denver in July and holding cut a
tempting list of entertainments for
the delegates and visitors, but the
truth is gradually coming out. (In
face of the facts, the national conven
tion at Denver will not be like the old
time hurrah meetings of the party.
It won't be safe to try to follow the
old program. Hon. "Bob" Speer, the
mayor ot Denver and one of the dem
ocratic political bosses of thexRocky
mountain region, is a native of Penn
sylvania. While he is a most enthusi
astic member of the Denver Boosters'
club, he has a warm epot in his heart
for his old Pennsylvania friends, and
in a letter to Colonel Guffey, the dem
ocratic boss In Pennsylvania,' he has
written these words ot advice and cau
tion: Delegates should remember that the city
la a mile up In the air that 1 6,280 feet
above the e level; that they should uul
chase a car, should not become excited or
be unduly active, and that two drinks of
whlBky will "light them up" aa much as
Bine In another atmosphere. In other
words, this high altitude contributes to
quick heart action a pumping heiit, as It
la called and Denver's rarefied atmos
phere demands on lb cart ot aliens con-
servatlva movements, little ox no exhilara
tion, wholeso- ely quiet thought and ac
tion, and especially the minimum of stimu
lants, alcoholic and nicotine.
That Is a pretty prospect for a dem
ocratic convention. Isn't It? If two
drinks ot Denver whisky will "light
up" a man as much as nine drinks of
Chicago, New York or Philadelphia
whisky, what will be the effect on the
convention If the Tammany delegation
and Cook county Democracy and the
Guffey guards do ao more than confine
themselves to their regular liquid ra
tions? It "conservative movements"
and "wholesomely quiet thought and
action" are essential to the physical
well-being of the delegates, what kind
of an intellectual ferment will follow
the efforts of the reactionaries tS block
the plans of Colonel Bryan? What
use will there be tor a sea-level dem
ocrat, who like to froth at the mouth
in frenzied oratorical efforts and lead
the rush in the rally otthe state
standards around a favorite son if he
Is to find the walls placarded with the
admonition, "Do not become excited
or be unduly active?"
Unless the committee on arrange
ments and the Denver press agents de
vise some new attraction to. offset the
damage done by the Speer letter there
is apt to be a slump In the attendance
of the old-line "whoop 'er up" demo
crats at the coming gathering of the
clans.
AyOTBER "GREAT COStriRACT." (
The hint of a conspiracy of "certain
Interests" to defeat Mr. Bryan at the
Denver convention, which Mr. Bryan
got direct from a man "who overheard
a telephone conversation on the sub
ject," is assuming tangible form. The
democrats who are booming Governor
Johnson of Minnesota for the presi
dential nomination have decided to
open headquarters In Chicago, and inti
mate that If properly encouraged they
will open branch headquarters In New
York, and perhaps In other cities. Gov
ernor Johnson admits that the head
quarters proposition Is under consider
ation, but disclaims any connection
with what is being done or any knowl
edge of what line of activity is con
templated. No further proof of the existence of
the conspiracy 1b needed, so tar as the
BryaniteB are i concerned. Frantic
supporters of the Nebraskan have been
complaining that the republican press
has given undue prominence to the
Johnson movement and are intimating
that "certain interests'!, are being
spurred on by the republican leaders
to defeat Bryan and name a weaker
candidate. On that proposition the
BryaniteB are plainly mistaken. It the
republicans are to be consulted as to
the choice of the nominee at the Denver
convention, the preponderant expres
sion wo.uld favor Mr. Bryan. Evidence
from reliable democratic sources has
been accumulating to show that Mr.
Bryan 1b no stronger in the east than
he was in 1896 and 1900, and that he
1b even weaker In the south. His for
mer inability to carry such pivotal
states as New York, Indiana, New
Jersey and Illinois Is a matter of
record and it Is doubtful If he could
carry Kentucky, Maryland and Mis
souri, that were . In the democratic
column in his two former campaigns.
There is nothing, to indicate that he
would carry any state he failed to carry
In 1900. On the other hand. Governor
Johnson might place some of the east
ern slates in the debatable column.
Clearly, the conspiracy which Is worry
ing the BryaniteB Is not of republican
origin.
From a purely democratic stand
point, the Johnson boom, whatever
merit it may possess, has been delayed
too long In the launching. The Bryan
hold on the democratic party is too
strong to be broken In the time re
maining before the convention at
Denver. The only 'effect of the John
son movement will be to arouse the
Bryanites to more activity in securing
pledged delegations to his support in
the national convention and put the
ban bn. Governor Johnson as a possible
running mate with Mr. Bryan. '
Mr. Bryan declares in the current
issue of the Commoner that "the Ken
tucky incident ought to strengthen the
sentiment in favor of the election of
senators by popular vote." and calls
upon the democrats In' congress "to
push this measure and put the republi
cans upon record if they refuse to
adopt so necessary and popular a re
form." This is rich, rare and racy.
In effect, Mr. Bryan wants the demo
crats in congress to force the republi
cans In congress to enact a measure
that will compel democrats In the
Kentucky legislature "to carry out the
will of their party expressed at the
primary." Mr. Bryan tried personally
to force the&o democrats to crry out
their party's pledges and having failed,
wants the republicans to provide
against another such democratic fall
down. There are good arguments for
the election of, United States senators
by direct vote, .but this Is about the
poorest yet produced.
The carpet manufacturers ot
Smyrna have formed a combination
and advanced prices. However, the
real Smyrna rugs made at Paterson,
N. J., will be on the market at the
usual prices.
"Thrilled with cosmic oneness he
will rise," says former Governor
Vardman, referring to Mr. Bryan. Per
haps, but It should be remembered
that, filled with sixteen to oneness, Mr.
Bryan fell.
Mr. Bryan's Commoner gives the
Nebraska democratic platform the
place ot honor on its front page. Why
this tardy recognition? The platform
was written and promulgated word
for word Just as it Is, with the excep
tion ot about four paragraphs, nearly a
year ago. . x
"No peace born of force can possibly
endure," Bald Mr. Justice Brewer at
a Loyal Legion banquet at Washing
ton. The first' peace this nation had
was born of force and it Is enduring
pretty well, a member ot the supreme
court to the contrary notwithstanding.
Engineer John F. Stevens says the
Panama canal will not be any good
when it is built. It may also be re
marked that the chances were against
it ever being built until Mr. Stevens
made way tor another engineer In
charge.
Harry Otchard has plead guilty to
the murder ot ex-Governor Steunen
berg of Idaho. That is going to make
a good many folks believe that
Orchard had nothing to do with that
crime.
The National Bank ot North Amer
ica had $360,000 Invested in the Ice
trust which Banker Morse floated and
then sunk. The creditors have a keen
appreciation ot the term, "a cold
deal."
When Will Fathers Convene t
Minneapolis Journal.
The mothers' congress la meeting In
Washington. The National Fathers' con
vention has not been called yet not out
loud, anyway.
Heroines of the Schools.
' Buffalo Express.
Did anybody ever hear of a school fire
In which the women teachers have failed
to do their utmost to save the lives of the
children In their charge?
Judicial Wisdom.
Washington Post.
A Nebraska court has decided that a
woman has a perfect right to get off a
street car backward. Evidently the court
understands the wisdom of making a vir
tue of necessity.
Fash the Good Work Along.
Wall Street Journal.
The Pennsylvania has recently posted
notices In Its various workshops, forbidding
profanity. In view of the present railroad
situation, why not put such notices . In
the executive offices and mall one to
every stockholder.
Revising an "Old Saw."
Chicago Record-Herald.
A hir rilnmnnri firm which failed the
other day blames Its trouble on "the pub
lic's craze for automobiles." The old say
ing may, therefore, be changed to "Stick
to me and you'll ride In an automobile."
He Delivera the Goods."
Kansas City Star.
Rec.rntarv Taft says that he does not
aocno nHth th onrlnwr who savs that the
Panama canal will be 'a failure. The coun
try is not disposed to have a lack of con
fidence In anything that Secretary Taft
has In hand. He has never been Identified
with a failure.
Making the Best of Necessity.
San Francisco Chronicle,
r-hina. h rnnnluded to aDoloKlze. There
was no other course left open to it. Japan
refused arbitration, and such a refusal
when a demand for an apology Is pend
ing means business. But it is hardly
nrntmhln that aDOlogv and reparation will
end the matter. The Chinese have long
memories and will not soon forget the
Indignity to which they have been bud-
jected.
Blessings of the Blind.
Helen Keller In March Century.
Tt, i-iiamliv of the blind Is Immense,
irreparable. But It does not take away our
share of the things that count service,
friKnHxhln humor, lmaflnation, wisdom.
It Is the secret Inner will that controls
one's fate. We are capable of willing to
be good, of loving and being loved, of
thinking to the end that we may bo wiser.
?e possess these spirit-born rorces equauy
fith nil nod's children. Therefore we, too,
the llithtnlngs and hear the thunders
of Slnal. We, too, march through tho wll-
derhesa and the solitary place that snail
he a-lad for us. and as we pass God maketh
the desert to blossom like the rose. We,
too, go In unto the Promised Land to pos
sess the treasures of-the spirit, tne unseen
permanence of life and nature.
A PROHIBITION BLKCHARD.
Intemperate Abase of a Noted Cath
olic Prelate.
Of Tallin ninbe-Democrat.
' Cardinal Gibbons, the well known Catho
lic prelate, recently declared that prohibi
tion had been a failure in the large citie3
which had trlejl it, and he favored hltfh
license and thorough regulation Instead.
For this reason he preferred local exclu
sion, by counties or towns, and not a state
wide interdict on whisky drinking. A
leader oP the political prohibition party
made ft savage attack on the cardinal, said
It was not Ignorance but "appetite" which
makes him oppose prohibition, and added
that "when a man announces such views
as Gibbons announces he ought to ex
change his surplice for a white apron, and
go to keeping bar."
Naturally this assault has called out
vigorous denunciation from many news
papers, the most pointed of which has
come from papers which are outside of the
cardinal's church. Nobody who has ap
peared in print In many yeara has ever been
stigmatized by so many uncomplimentary
terms as have been hurled at this unfor
tunate aealot. And every one of the epi
thets which we have seen Is deserved. As
the cardinal has been a total abstainer all
his life, as he has urged abstention In his
church, and as he has probably done Im
measurably more for the cause of tem
perance than has ever been done by his
traducer, all the denunciation which has
been heaped upon the latter Is particularly
pointed and pertinent.
Irrespective altocether of the merits of
the state-wide prohibition movement it
would seem that Its leaders ought to know
that Intemperate abune like that which
they have hurled at Cardinal Gibbons
and others Is calculated to repel a hundred
persons for every one that It will win.
Looking at the matter on the material and
practical side, this is bad politics. No
cause, however good It may be, has ever
been promoted, or ever will be promoted, by
such a spirit as that which is shown by
this particular pjopagandlst. The i-olltlcal
prohibition party turned the scale 'against
the republicans In P4 through th-j large
vote polled In the decisive state of New
York by tit- John, Us presidential candidate,
and thus defeated Blaine asid made Cleve
land president. Recently the prohlbitlon'sls
have, been gaining ground, and the country
looked for a heavy vote by them In 194-
But If the prohibition party neglects to
muxxle these spellbinders who talk In the
strain which hus been referred to here.
It will not poll enough votes anywhere
to frighten either the republican or the
democratic campaign managers.
Important Notice
from Kilpatrick
Tho Millinery Department will be
open for business on Monday, March
16th. Preliminary shovv-inrj of the
very latest styles. The formal open,
ing' will follow at - a later date, of
which due notice will be given.
Thomas Kilpatrick & Co.
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE Pl'LPIT
Boston Transcript: The Buffalo bishop
who calls upon all spinsters of marrtagable
age to take husbands evidently expects
them to Improve leap year privileges at
their face value.
St. Louis Times: When a distinguished
New York bishop advises spinsters to pray
for husbands he merely places his official
sanction upon a habit that many of them
have long practiced.
St. Paul Pioneer-Press: The women of a
St. Louts church have combined to boycott
their preacher because he has arehalo
views. He Is opposed to kissing, dancing
and the holding of hands. He declares that
dancing Is a cardinal sin and kissing Is on
awful thing; that the man who kisses a
girl should be shot. The women announce
that they not only will not listen to his ser
mons, but' will contribute nothing toward
the support of his church. It Is not ex
pected that they will buy guns with the
money they save. . ,
St. Louis Republic: The vestrymen of a
.church in New York state are Investigat
ing the case of the rector of their parish.
The charge Is that he escorted one of his
fair young parishioners home one evening
a few weeks ago. Everything seems to
have been lovely until they approached
the house, and he asked if he might kiss
her good-night. The young woman did not
assent and the parson apologized for ask
ing. sThe young woman has since with
drawn from the church. The vestrymen,
no doubt, think that a man who has no
more sense than to ask permission, under
such circumstances, needs Investigation.
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
The Inventor of the noiseless gun does
not expect orders from campaign managers.
Even kaisers should think a while before
writing letters, and then use the telephone.
Edward H. Harrlman Is presumed to ob
serve Lenten- regulations by taking Fish
In hla'n occasionally.
Pittsburg now blows a curfew whistle
for local millionaires. Otherwise they would
not' know when to come In.' '. ' !
Singing the praises of spring Is all well
enough, but keep your winter underwear
where It will do the most good.
The author of the galvanized report that
another American cardinal Is to be named
must have a grudge against St. Paul.
A baby hippopotamus, born at the New
York zoo, is valued at 5,000. This Is the
only asset the metropolis boasts of that is
not bonded to the limit. But the asset Is
quite young.'
This Is the season of the year when the
dutiful and enterprising husband soberly
assures his wife he will begin his regular
experience with the lawn rake as soon as
tho frost Is out of the ground.
An organization designed to transform
Russia Into a republic has opened head
quarters In New York City. The leaders
of the movement derive satisfaction as well
as safety from the enchantment of distance.
A Pennsylvania town reports signs of
advancing spring which do not require the
robin's note ta a guarantee of good faith.
A "made in Pennsylvania" mummy Is grow
ing a beard so fast that he has to be shaved
every day.
Concurrently with the edict against "hit
ting the pipe" in Shanghai,, conies electric
trolleys equipped with straps for John to
hang on during rush hours. It Is civiliza
tion's way of passing the lemon to back
ward people. ,
Twenty months ago St. Louis voted eight
to one for a free brldge'across the Missis
sippi river. Since then all questions of
plans and location collided with the greater
problem, "How not to do It," the solution
of which affords St. Lou's authorities mental
relaxation from official cares.
Vermont women are not allowed to vote,
but nothing prevents Vermont men f,rom
voting for them. Miss Minnie A. Tyler
has just been elected town clerk of South
Londonderry for the thirteenth successive
year, her father and grandfather being
her Immediate predecessors In tho office.
The family Incumbency In the ofrice covers
the last sixty-oao years.
Legislation Against Speculation.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Stranger things have happened within
the list five years than the curbing. If not
the complete restraining, of stock specu
lation by legal enactment. The Hepburn
bill, now before congress, which seeks to
accomplish this end, will probably not be
come a law. But It indicates a trend of
thought on tho part of lawmakers and the
public.
Good Pianos at
If iny piano factory controlled or owucd any stock In our business w
could not sell pianos at as low a price as we do', because we would then bsva
to sell the product of that factory, and we would not be free, as we are now,
to go Into the open market and take bargains offered by manufacurers whq
need ready cash. Piano manufacturers like ready cash, for their goods Just
as other manufacturers do, and our readiness to pay cash If the price suits us
brings us many a great bargain.
Tor $125 We Sell a Piano That Costs $175 Elsewhere
Tor $190 We Sell a Piano That Costs $250 Elsewhere.
For $225 We Sell a Piano That Costs $300 Elsewhere.
For $450 We Sella Player Piano That Costs $650 Elsewhere.
Terasr $5, $6, $7, $8 and $10 per month, or cash, if you like
Stool, Scarf and Instruction book FKEE.
Every piano warranted from io to 20 years.' '
Wo guarantee the lowest prices in the United States
A.. HOSIPE CO.
1513 UOl'GLAt STItEfcT.
Branch Houses: Council Bluffs, Iowa; Lincoln, Kearney, Nebraska,
i-A
SERMONS BOILED DO WW.
Every honest doubt ripens Into larger
faith. .
Souls are not lifted up by preaching down
to thorn.
A frowning brow often Indicates a shrink
ing head. ;
The heart of all reform la the reform of
the heart. --.Too
many sow sand and then pray for
strawberries.
Vhat you are when no one Is looking la
what you are.
There can be no moral muscle without
moral struggle.
If you would lead you must be willing to
be lonesome, at times. ,
The value of your religion depends on how
much of yourself Is Invested In It.
There are too many churches trying to
win the poor by courting the rich.
It doesn't take long to discover all kinds
of good in anything that has gold In It.
The heart Is best nourished when we are
ministering to the needs of our neighbors.
He who expects to die like a dog usually
goes to his expectancy long before he dies.
The hope of this world does not He In he
stall-fed saints who are fattening on ser
mons. : ' -
If you would find gladness you must play
life's great game with eagerness and fair
ness. Chicago .Tribune.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
"John, I've got to have money to buy I
new hat for Easter."
"Great Scott, Jane, but you're extrava
gant. What did you do with all the monej
1 gave you last year to have your old hai
fixed over?" Baltimore American.
"Why do you chew gum?"
The young person addressed brought hei
Jaws together with an unwonted snap.
"Mob be it is because I like to have some
business of my own to attend to," she an
swered, resuming such attention forthwith.
Philadelphia Ledger.
"Why do you always look in a chair be
fore you sit down?"
"I sat on my, wlfe's. hat once."
"Yes." I
"And she had left a hat pin In It."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Knicker I know a man who can certainly
sweep the state.
Mrs. Knicker Well, I want you to go to
the. Intelligence office and get a girl whp.
can sweep the parlor. New York Sun.
Toss You see, she's got so many freckles
that they worry her terribly.
Jess The Idea! I should think they'd ba
a comfort to her; she can blame her bad
looks on them. Philadelphia Press.
"You and your wife never play bridge at
the same table."
"Certainly not." answered Mr. Meekton,
"I could not think of Henrietta- being
placed In a position where, even as a
formality, she might have to ask my per
mission to play." Washington Star.
"The man who can be coerced Into pay
ing hush money Is either a coward or
criminal."
"I don't class myself With either, and 1
pay huh money."
"What for?"
"I f I " didn't my wife would talk to me
from one pay day until the next." Houston
Post.
-''Mamma, is the old blark hen going to
be sent away for the summer?"
"No, Tommy; but why do you ask?"
"Well, I heard papa tell the now gov
erness thut he would take her out riding
when he sent the old hen away for the
summer." Harper's Weekly.
METAMORPHOSIS OP "SOCKHEAD,'
I.
It seems a century ago
Tho' not to his ma. perhaps
When he, a funny liltlt) tyke
Wore funny stocking caps;
Now he's outgrown such trumpery.
And the years before him dunce.
For he's singin' hallelujers
O'er his first long pants.
II.
Sisters used to be so bossy.
Sent him hlkln' here an' therei
Wasn't any peace a-comln'
To tho feller anywhere;
Now some lessons they are learnlaV
And he quells 'em with a glance1
Oh, the tables now are turnln'
Since lie's got long pants.
III.
Long ago he sent some violets
To his sweetheart by her brother.
Who called him "Sock-head" for his palnBJ
"len 'twas "twenty-three fer mother";
Now he sends his posies A. D. T.,
Ami boldly will advance - ,
To the presence of bis sweetheart
Since lie's got long pants.
' IV.
I Yes, the years have wrought great wonders
With that little tyke 1 know.
But 'tis only for the better
That the years have changed him so; .
And It makes old hearts grow youliger,
Just to meet his Jolly glance, ,
And to hear his bursts of wisdom
Since he's got long pants.
Omaha, Neb. BAYOLL NE TRELB
Lowest Prices
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