Tirn omaita Sunday bee-. November. 17. mi.
You Can't Always Dope Them
Cm of the Hen Of the Cow Of the Canary Of tha Woman
F
op! Ar
AKE a hen, for Instance.
Jjst a plain hen, the kind
that they have In the country
for Sunday dinner and call a
pullet. Bhe'a what I mean. Just
a hen. And plain.
T
Kver ce a whole yard of them oiling up
their feathere because Ha going to rain?
Inspiring alght. Regular Instinct, like a
cat falling on Ita feet.
And all that sort of thing.
Bometlmea one hen won't oil up. Ooca
right on scratching gravel. Tou feel al
most like running over and telling' her to
. 1. . n 1 . . . .
nenuM ooi nen. 100 nuniry o
bother.
Then tt beglna to rain.
Rain conies down all wet and sloashy.
First Hi a sprinkle. Then a shower.
Storm coming. Hena all oiled up.
All but the one. She's still scratching
gravel. Nary oil on her. No Instinct. Fool
htn.
By the way, where la ho?
Isn't out getting rained on. Isn't over near
the fence in the tall grass. Isn't running
around squawking? No.
Ouess again. No? Give It up?
Gone Inside the barn where It Is dry.
What do you thing of that?
Wonderful. Plain htn, too. No Idea
hens were so smart.
$
Look at her again. Or let's take another
hen and see. No, let's take a cow.'
Regular cow. No funny business. Short
hair. Long tall. Fat underneath and skinny
on top. Cow with a wet nose. Mouth full
of chewing gum. You knuw. The kind the
artists Dover paint. Regular plain cow.
Fllea all over everywhere. And bugs.
Gee wlila Got In your eyes. No good at
all. Bother cow nearly to death. Whole
bunch stand out In pasture and let flics
nearly eat 'em up. Whisk tails, stamp feet
and ahake heads.
Not the r.'gulur cow, though. She's no
artist's picture. Got skinny back and no
color to speak of. No funny business.
She wades out Into tho brook. Feet all
wet. Muddy too. Don't care; She uln't
the aort that stands In a purple shadow
and composes with two trees and a hay
stack. No.
Sticks her head Into the bush over the
brook. Nothing to eat in that bush. Cow
ought to know thut. She docs. 80 do tho
ft tea.
Therefore the cow gets a little peace.
Amusing! Not all instinct: Even the kind
of cows they paint huvo that. No.
This la an Idea. Cow Idea. Mu.l. I! 1. r
aelf. Hall, cow!
Sea what I ini-un?
Take a dog. No, evcrybwdy tal;c3 him.
Take a cat, or a duck, or a turtle Well,
say a canary bird.
Born up In tho Hara mountains where the
fairy tales come from. Ivains to sing be
fore It learns to fly. Rings wonderful trilis,
and ripples and octavos and chords.
Sings, chirrups and wigglu waggles, and
outbursts. Slngn arpeggios. Bird doesn t
know what an arpeggio is. Neither do J.
Bird sings 'em Just the samo.
Bingo other things. Sings when you want
tt to shut up. Sings when you don't want
It to shut up. Regular sort of a canary
bird.
Shipped to New York. Nothing there to
Ing for. But that makes no difference.
Keeps right on. Understand? It's Instinct.
Fills somebody's back parlor with noiso
and rape seed. Pretty little thing. Some
people like 'em. Catch tho Idea?
This particular bird, though. He's funny.
Hardly sings at all. Too much to eat?
Starve him. Not enough to eat? Stuff him.
Bum singer. Wo like songs, too. Llko that
Notes of the
IEGFR1BD WAGNER Is to be
the only conductor for the next
Wagner festival at Bayrcuth,
and thus tho control of Mmo.
Coslniu will be more complete.
It was known that Hans Klc li
ter would never return after the incidents
which marked the close of the last festi
val, and now Motll, Welngartner and
Nikisch are to give place to the young
Siegfried. Mine. Wagner's health is fulling
rapidly and there Is little probability that
she will witness another festival. The first
performance will be given on July 22 and
tbo last on August IV. There will be two
series of tho "Nlbelungen Ring,'' seven per
formances of "Parsifal" and five of "Lo
hengrin." Among tho' artists to appear
will be Charles Dalmores, to sing Lohen
grin. Geraldtne Farrar sung her last perform
ance of "Mine, Butterfly" at a special per
formance given In honor of the kaiser.
Critical opinion In Berlin was not kind to
the performance of the American prima
donna in the Puccini opera, and" regret was
generally expressed that Emmy Destinn,
who created the role in London and has
always sung It there, should not have been
Intrusted with the part in her own opera
house. She is to appear In It now that
Mlsa Farrar has returned to this country.
Bo chagrined was Mine. Destinn by the se
lection of Miss Farrar that the Bohemian
soprano notified the lntendent of thu Ber
lin opera that she would plead Illness every
time she was announced unless she were
allowed to break hoc contract, She was
persuaded, however, to take a month's rest
to quiet her nerves and she compromised
on that plan. She returned to the opera
the other day and sang Aids, which Is re
garded aa on of her finest roles.
Richard Strauss did not succeed In per
auadlng Miss Farrar to sing Salome In 13. r
Un, although he declared that she would
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thing about "Mary." Nice and alow. Folks
all sing it
Guess we'll glv the bird away.
Hold on! Begins to sing.
Guess we won't. What do you suppose
that fcird chirrups?
Regular tune. PlngB "Mary." 'Way up
In the air, tut the real stuff. Refused offer
of a horse for that bird.
Give It away? Might To a museum.
Otherwise, nix.
Bee what I m an?
Iitt it's same all over the world. Big
world, too. Feel like a regular discoverer.
Tell you. It pays to keep your eyes open,
,
Hold on, though.
Take a woman, for Instance. Don't take
her so far you can't bring her back. Don't
take any chances.
Just a plain woman. Not too plain. Just
a kind of an average female lady woman.
Give her a moment to herself.
Take the children out to the bread pan.
Take ihe gas bill out of the oven.
Call Johnny's nttention to the fact that
be is Fpeaking above a whisper, alve her
a chance.
Close the back door.
Tour the fashion pugo out of the morning
rnper and burn It up. Give her a rest.
Go nway so she don't talk to you. Make
her sit still and think.
Dangerous, but Interesting.
Next duy go and rail. Hear her talk.
Paper was full of politics.
Why don't people elect men to office who
are honest?
If the men they do elect are dishonest
why don't they throw 'em out?
That's the beginning. Don't answer her.
You can't. But don't try. Listen.
Why don't the city make tho street rail
roads run more cars?
Iook wise. But don't answer.
If they need more tunnels why don't
they build them Instead of talking about It?
If they know that anarchists are danger
ous why do they let them roam all over the
place?
Let her alone. 1
She was downtown shopping Ihls morn
ing. Only had ten minutes, but
Good. Here's a chance to get away
from tho questions. ABk her what sh
bought.
What did she?
Well, the store was crowded so she couldn't
get neur all the' counters. But she go'
some new shoes for Johnny, a spool of No
67i twist, a quarter of a yard of blenchec
muslin, a paper of tacks nnd a base ball.
Good. It was a busy morning.
Oh, that was before she went out anc"
met m-hoever she met and went across thi
street to the othor place where she bought
a bottle of plckle3, a dotted veil, a paper oT
lialrplns, two yards of striped flannel, a
new screwdriver, and a corkscrew (paten
thing she wondered why they didn't sell
before), a bottle of Florida water, a packagi
of nail files, mittens for Sallle and a plect
of dotted jiwIfs to mend tho curtains.
Well! Well! You wero busy!
Oh, that was before she went down the
street to the other placo where they were
huving a salo and bought a pair of crochet
ing needle, two saucers to replace those
Johnny Smashed, some hair ribbon for
Sullle, a piece of wax, a flatlron holder and
a lottlo of ammonia,
Stop her right there.
Oh, that was before she went over to
the other corner and bought
Don't llnten, that's all. Willful waste of
money.
A day gadding all over town. .Time
frittered away. No sense In It.
Kxtravagant!
Oh, as to that, she only spent 86 cents
and she had to be home to get the chil
dren's dinner.
See what I mean? It's different. No
comparison.
Opera Abroad
le the Ideal representative of the part
Miss Farrur had the seore soon after th
opera waa finished, but told the composer
at that time that It entailed too much
strain on the voice. Strauss' next opera.
"Kleetra," will probably be sung In Febru
ary at the Royal 6pera house in Dresden.
The work la almost finished. It will be
sung next in Vienna, but as Strauss Is still
barred by the Imperial opera house In
Vienna, his next work will be given at the
People's opera. Strauss declared lately In
an Interview that the score would create
even a greater excitement than "Saleme.
New operas to be given In Berlin during
the winter Include:
Bniftanu's "Dallbor," which has been re
vived' especially for Emmy Destinn; Mas
senet's "Therese," "Iphigenla In Aulls" and
"Iphigenla iu Taurls" as arranged by Rich
ard Strauns, and "Donna Diana," by Rezc
Inek. Frlda Uempel, the new colorature
soprano, had the advantage of especially
elaborate revivals of 'The Huguenots" and
"Luclp." At tho Opera Comlque In Berlin
there are to be productions of Mascagni's
"Iris," ( harpentle's "Louise," Leoncavallo's
"Zazu" and r.ublnstein's "The Demon." In
spite, of tho unfavorable attitude of Berlin
opinion toward all foreign works no Ger
man novelties are to be sung In Berlin.
"Thu Merry Widow," which brought a
new existence to Viennese operetta, has
Just been succeeded by another work which
seems likely to have Just as lorig a career.
This Is "The Dollar Princess," which deuls
with the story of two American girls who
many titled foreigners. It Is as great a
success as "Tho Merry Widow," whteh it
followed at the Theater an der Wlen.
lehar's second opera, on the other hand,
hss met with no success.
Felix Welngartner la to commence his
duties as director of the Imperial Opera
house In Vienna In December, a month
earlier that he had expected to.
Francisco GuardabasHl, who Is remem
bered here as u tart one. is to make hs
appearance as a tenor during the present
month ut Nice. He will sing Dhadumes
und his repertoire Is to Include Manrlco,
Otello and other dramatic roles. The ex
periment U Interesting for other reasons
that the success or failure of the attempt
to trantform a burltone Into a tenor. Jean
de Hi-sake is his teacher and Is making
every possible effort to retrieve his reputa
tion as a teacher through this pupil. The
former tenor earns for ten months of every
year the unprecedented sum of J-50 every
day. This meuns rive hours every day at
tf an hour, this amount bsltig paid by a
class of four yuplls. His studio swarms
with pupils eager to pay this sum and the
tenor Is earning another fortune. But
there are, alas, no results In spite of the
fact thut he bcau to teach five years ago.
Paris id full of stories of dtsupiotnted
pupils. Jean de Rrszke's appointment as
an adviser to the new opera managers was
secured with the object of rehabilitating
him as a teacher among serious students.
Guardabassl's success will mean a great
deal to Jean d Resske.
When "talome" Is sung In Brussels Marv
Garden will have the Masseuet's "Ariane,"
Messager'a "Fortunlo" and "Madam But
terfly" titia role. Other noveltiea there
during the season will be an entire
"Nlblungn Ring" In French, while B-r-
lloi'a "Lea Troyens and Keyer'a "8
rra
t
lambo" will be revived.
Mart IXlna, who returned to tie stage
By
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Paris to sing again In "La Vivandlere,"
Is said to have lost nothing during her re
tirement. Her voice Is described as still
as beautiful as It was and her popularity
with the Parisians is not diminished.
"Le Chemtneau," in the form of an
opera, wtih music by Xsvler Leioux, Is to
be the next production at the Opera Coml
que. Luclenne Breval and Thomas Balog
rao are to have the leading roles. When
nimsky-Korsakoff a opota, "The Daughter
or the Snows," Is sung. Mine Carre will
have the leading roto. Other new operas
to ba given during the season are "So
lange," by Bavlayrc: "Leone," by Samuel
Rousseau; "Habanera." by Laparra;
"Sang." by Isidore de Lara; "Phedre et
Hippt.lte." by Vincent d'lndy; "Pierre lo
Vertdkiue." by Xavier I,eroux; Bichard
Strauss' "Feursnoth," and Gabriel Pteme's
musical setting of De M-iset's "On no
badlne pus aveo 1'amour." CJcraldlno Far
rar goes thero In the spring to sing six
times and Pauline Donalds is also engaged
for a series of representations. Fella Llt
vlrme, Alice Verlet and Georgette Lcblano
are to be other visitors. Nothing more is
said of De Lara's1"Le Nil," which Emms
Culve was to sing lust year, nor la there
any talk of the French eopruno'B appear
ance In the rolo of the Countess In a re
vival of Moxart e "Le Marriage de Figaro."
The management of the Opera has Just
made an innovation by engaging a bari
tone from another country. He is a Hun
garian named Beck, who has been a mem
ber of the company at the Optra house In
Budapest.
Pletro Uascagml haa ceased work on his
socialist opera "La Fest del Grano" after
composing the muslo for two scenes. He
says he found the subject too philosophical
and aerious. lie haa ben conducting "Le
Maschere" throughout Italy and has not
yet found the success which he thought
was ready for a light opera, which was In
accordance with the Kosalnlan standards
Puccini Is not yet at work on Ms "Mai in
Antoinette," In spite of the slurle to the
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tsWii
contrary. Luigi Mancinelli has completed
his "Francesca da Klmlnl." which will be
produced ut La Scala end also at Bologna
during tho season. His pupil, Glacomo
Orence, has Just finished aq opera entitled
"The Promised Land." Barau, the Greek,
who hi s not printed a new work In several
ycuis, is finishing an opera called "Bhee."
Franco Alfano, who succeeded In attract
ing favorable attention with his musical
setting of Tolstoi's "Resurrection" will
have a new opera ready for this season.
One of thu American girls singing In
Rome this winter 'calls herself Caryihj na,
but in sp'te of this handicap has been asso-
cd with the best of the Italian singers.
"Pelleas et Melisande" is to be sung during
the present at La Scalu. There has been
a uotablo demand for French works In
Italy this year. Massenet's "Ariane,"
"Cendrlllun" and Thuls" will be produced
In several cities while "Louise" has also
been put Into the repertoire In several
places.
Miss Lindsay, an American soprano who
haj been, for several years at the Opera in
Pari, has been a member of the company
now singing In fall Season of Italian ut
Covcnt Garden. Mls Lindsay, who has
spent most of her lifo in Paris, where her
father is In business, will not remain at
tho Opera under its new management, as
she and tho new management cuuld nut
agree on terms. Maria Gay, who mado
such a success last year lu "Carmen," was
also a member of this company, and was
to enlur go her meagre repertoire by ap
pearing us Amneris. Lulsa Tetrazx'.nl, who
has been heard of so much, although she
la still to be seen here, was also a member
of the company. Mine. Glachettl did the
dramatic rolea and Mme. Dereyne, who la
now at the Metropolitan Opera house, sang
the lighter rolra, using the Italian lan
guage for the first time. "Adriana Lecouv
reur" and "Germanla," by Baron Fran
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Manhattan Opera house wero In the com
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as Vloletta. She came to San Francisco
several years ago with a small Italian com
pany that hud been singing in South Amer
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iastic over her and Mr. Conried engaged
her for the Metropolitan. She broke the
contract. When she tried to sing again In
8an Francisco. Mr. Conried prevented and
her contract with him was upheld by the
courts. Mr. Hammerstlii engaged her for
his company and after arte had signed the
contract she insisted on the engagement of
si.vcial artists to King with her. When he
refused that as well as her demands for an
Increase) of salary she again refused to
come to New York on the ground that she
was to sing as a doublure fur M.ne, Melba.
It would l.avo been Impossible for her to
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live yeuis. and if she ever kIhs iu the
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As an example of mental and physical
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ot a five-acre tield of corn, doftii at Nor
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the must remarkable old men In the coun
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the only living man who rode on the
first passenger train run on a steum rail
road In America the Mohawk and Hud
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Troy. Not only Is Dubois thu only living
link that connects tho railroad history
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of the two paesengers alio rode In the
coach drawn by an engine vailed the
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uucle.
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a foresight, which has not been followed
In later years, the Inhabitants of Troy
insisted that the directors of the roid
should assume the first risk, for thera
was nobody willing to take the chance of
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timber, "and came to New York In 18t7.
My wife died In 1849. My youngest son,
the baby of the family, Is 6S, and a
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man who rode on the first railroad train
must be true, because 1 was only a hoy
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"When I first c.ime to New York the
northernmost house In the city was on
Twenty-sixth street, near Madison ave
nue. Beyond that was all green fields,
(.'oi p Thompson's cottage was built a fuw
years later. I thin):, or If It was built. It
was not used us a halfway house in 1447.
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had a clear view of the Kust river from
what Is now Central park.
"I cat my first vote for John Quln.-y
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They were aiwaya peaceable, aod never
ft
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life in the open air, eateu and drunk
everything that came along, and hava
chewed tobacco for about aeventy-flve
yeara. I gave up smoking thirty or forty
years ago, and my quids of chewing have
become smaller and smuller, Hera la
what I use now."
The old man took from his veat pocket
a tiny cube of tobacco. It could not hava
contained more
thun the sixteenth
jt a
cublo Inch.
"Lost all my teeth something like thl.ty
or thirty-five years ago," he continued,
"so I can't chew like I used to. A smsll
plug of tobacco will last me about six
weeks. I don't sleep well at nights no',
but when I wus young I used to take long
naps. Bleep Is a treat thing better thau
food or drink. "New York World.
Br. Lyon's
PERFECT
Tooth Powder
Cleansee, preserves and
beautifiei the teeth, and
Purifies the breath
A superior dentifrice
for people of refinement
Etulliihed ia 1866 by
VaJMBg::saWTsrTr--Vsjartflaa
mum
Solid Q.75
Chiffonier '
?. r- - 4 K?, 1
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e