THK OMAHA SUNDAY 'BEE: OC7TOBEK 6,. 1907.
The Omaha Sunday Be&
"OUKDCD BT EDWARD ROSHWATER.
VICTOR R08EWATER, EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha Poatofflce Ml second
lasa matter.
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ally Bee and Sunday, on year .00
lunday Be, one year i M
aturdey Bee, one year l.W
DELIVERED BY CARRIER,
at!y Bee (Including Sunday), per week..l6o
)ally Bee (without Bumtay). per week.ioc
Evening Bea (without Hunday), per week to
Svenlng Be (with Siindar. Pr week. ..10c
Address all complaints of Irregularities in
.livery to City Circulation Department.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Ben Building.
' South Omaha City Hall Building.
! Council Blufts 1J Scott Street.
' Chlrao 1M0 Unity Building.
New York 1508 Home Life Insurance
Ud&
Vv ashlngton C01 Fourteenth Street.
t CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to news and ed1
orlal matter should be addressed, Omaha
lea. Editorial Department,
j REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, express or postal order
ayaMe to The Bee Publinhing Company,
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j STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
rtat of Nebraska, Douglas county, ss:
1 Charles C Rosewater, general manager
f The Bee Publishing Company, being duly
worn, says that the actual nnmbe- "f
ull and complete coplea of The Dally
iomlng, Evening and Sunday Bee printed
uring the month of September, 1907, was as
ollows:
I .'.. 35,700 1 36.650
S 36,640 IT 36,660
36,300 18 36,580
4 38,980 19 36,500
T$ 3650 20 36,390
36,940 . 21 36,570
it 36,340 22 35,320
! 35,600 2S 37,360
! 36,140 24 i 36,830
0 36,630 . 26 38.300
1 36,470 26 36,930
2 36,370 27... 36,600
3 36,080 28 36,600
4 36,610 29 35,650
6 35,400 SO 36,890
Total 1,083,470
Las unsold and returned copies. 937
Net total 1,083,583
ally average 36,119
CHARLES C. ROSEWATER,
General Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
!0 before ma this 80th day of Septem
ber, 1807.
(Seal; M. B. HUNUATB,
Notary Public.
WHEN OUT OF TOWN.
gakacrlbera leaving tke city tem
porarily shoald bar The Be
mailed to them. Address will be
chaaged as oftea aa requested.
Even the cost of free lunch has in
creased.
A coffee planter threatens to Invade
Brazil. On what grounds?
The short sleeve 1b to go. That will
atop the girls from showing some of
their good points.
Now a Swedish sportsman wants to
-ace for the America cup. His line
f advertising Is not stated.
The scene of the play, "A Fool and
k Girl," is laid in San Francisco. How
Bid the author come to overlook Pltts-
purgT
Mr. Fairbanks still denies that he
Drank' or ordered those cocktails. He
Joes not even use cherries in his but
termilk. '
'A Boston minister says there are no
automobiles In heaven. Certainly not.
Where in heaven would they find
ihauffaurst .
! Senator Depew says he has a bunch
jf new jokes. Let him tell 'em to
Senator Piatt. The-rest of the coun
try is busy.
I Physicians now contend' that life
may be prolonged" by the drinking of
jour milk, but few' would care to have
it prolonged at that cost.
Democrats of the country are ap
parently having some difficulty In con
vincing Mr. Bryan that . he is not a
Candidate f3rvthe presidency.
The president's trip down .the Mis
sissippi hag been exceedingly pleasant
thus fax. "Jim Bludso" hag not been
recited at any of the receptions.
! Dr. Osier says a physician's success
Is largely a question of good health.
Wrong again. A physician's success
depends largely upon Ul-heaJth. .
t
"The. Knox boom has been revived
la KaaUcky." says a southern paper.
Kentucky hospitality always includes
the offer of something reviving. -
The grape crop in the sooth of
FTance has been destroyed, but Cali
fornia is on' hand with the assurance
that the supply of French wines will
t aa liberal aa ever.
Spain is very much worried about
ita subjects that are working on the
Panama catial. Spain should . feel
good to think that its subjects are
working at anything.
No one has explained why all those
goods that were "absolutely pure" be-"
fore the pur food law went into effect
.have now been advanced in price be
, causa of the operation! of the new law.
A Philadelphia editor Bays that the
world - has overestimated Shakes
peare, which J is' interesting ' only as
showing that Philadelphia has got as
fas as the 8hakespeare ago in history.
Just wait until they hear about the
civil war and George Cohan's dramatic
efforts.
It is proposed to have Colonel
Bryan' speeches prepared for repro
duction on phonographs for use in the
democratic national campaign. Par
ticular pains will be taken to see that
the speech h made In Madison Square
garden, on his return from Europe,
advocating the government ownership
of railways, U' not included 'in the list
1XLAKD WATKRWaTS.
Attention has been called during
the last week to the inland waterways
of the great central valley of the
United States in a way that has been
emphasized by the president's per
sonal utterances. Nothing new or
novel has been offered In connection
with the debate on the toplc. It has
been patent to all that the rivers of
the great Mississippi valley are just as
susceptible of use today as they ever
were. It is altogether a question of
expediency. - The Iron horse drove the
steamboats from the rivers, and for
many years has succeeded in keeping
them ofT. The only question that now
appears is whether the commerce of
the great agricultural states along the
banks of these rivers can return to
the slower methods of transportation.
An Inclination exists to answer this
question in the affirmative. It is ad
mitted that the cost of transportation
by water is so low as to make it at
tractive for the shipment of such
commodities as are bulky and upon
whose immediate dispatch and delivery
the success of the venture does not
depend. Experiments have ' proven
that the greater part of the produce of
the west can be handled with satisfac
tory expedition by water. It would
be a remarkably slow boat that could
not make as good time to market as
some of the freight trains that ply
between town and town in Jhe west
today.
With this point settled affirmatively,
comes the question of detail Involving
the establishment of the necessary
fleet of Joats and preparations for
their accommodation, on the waters.
In the latter lies the great difficulty.
While the Mississippi, the Missouri and
the Ohio and their great tributaries
carry practically unchanged the same
amount of water annually to the ocean,
some changes in conditions have been
brought about by reason of the adap
tion of the country through which they
flow to agricultural uses. The great
forests that covered the bottom lands
in Illinois, Iowa, Indiana and Ohio,
for example, have been removed, and
the effect is very apparent on the
streams that drain these states. The
flood seasons of the spring and fall
are sudden and violent, while the In
tervening dry seasons are marked by
a recession of the waters, that reduce
the little streams to a minimum and
diminish the volume of waters carried
by the great rivers. Changes brought
along the lower stretches of the Missis
sippi through the building of levees to
restrain the flood from the rich bottom
lands have also had some effect. These
and other phases of the question must
be given careful consideration.
Such Improvements as have been
made of recent years on the Mississippi
at its mouth have tended to Increase
its flow, and have been of direct ad
vantage to commerce in this way. The
matter of establishing a channel of
sufficient depth during the full length
of the river Is One for ' engineering
solution, which can ' doubtless be
brought, about under proper arrange
ments. It will require the expenditure
of much money to achieve the result
desired. The admonition of the presi
dent' to the delegates at the Memphis
convention is timely. He directed their
attention to the fact -that the work
proposed is of such enormous propor
tion that it cannot be speedily accom
plished and, therefore, must be ap
proached patiently. The rehabilitation
of the Mississippi and the Missouri to
their former position as carriers of
commerce will be. brought about in
time. The. demands of the country
absolutely require this," but It -is. too
much to expect that any Immediate
relief will be derived. The process
will be slow, but will be none the less
effective.
FIQHT1KO THE TOT SOLDIER.
The sturdy boys' of the nation, the
lads in the kilt and knlckerbocker
stages, would be pleased to know, if
they were able to grasp the signifi
cance of current events,' that one of
their sacred rights and privileges has
been preserved for them only after a
fight. The trouble was started in this
case by the Pittsburg Peace society, a
commendable organization ' Inspired
with worthy alms, which recently sent
a representative abroad to Induce the
toy' manufacturers of Europe to quit
making toy soldiers, swords and other
Implements of 'warfare in miniature.
This representative called upon the
toymakers In foreign climes and tried
to convince them that it was a crime
and a sin and a shame to manufacture
toys which served to Instill Into the
minds of children the love of soldier
ing and war. He tried to show that
mimic soldiers breed- the spirit of
slaughter and that toy cannons and
drums and fifes are instigators of the
sanguinary ambitions. The toymakers
of the bid world are a stolid lot and
think of gain, sordid profit and com
mercial activity, and so they turned
the peace emissary down and told him
that the output of the warlike toys
will be greater than ever this year,
and that something really new is being
prepared in the way of a big battle
ship, in miniature, engaged in deadly
combat with a hated foe on a mimic
ocean. If he did not want anything of
the kind for his own children, would
he kindly speak of it to some of his
neighbors?
The manufacture of toys is a matter
of business, not of sentiment. The out
put of soldiers and cannon' and drums
will ..cease when the public ceases to
demand them and the prospect for that
condition is not imminent. As 'a mat
ter of fact, the playing with toy' sol
diers and the, beating of mimic battle
drums does not make soldlprs any more
than swimming develops fins or sing
ing' la'a surpllced choir sprouts wings.
It Is part of the training of the child
and the boy that marshals his toy sol
diers and kills off countless thousands
of the unseen enemy In developing a
strategy and. sense of meeting emer
gencies that serves him In any capacity
of life after his nursery and school,
days are over. '.But aside from that
fact, no parent who has ever watched
the joy beams in the eyes of his boy
as he found his toy brigade in "Pre
sent Arras" formation at his bedside
on Christmas morning, will ever toler
ate any peace society effort to abolish
the little tin soldier and the toy drum.
OUR TRADE WITH CHINA.
Official statistics issued by the Chi
nese and British governments serve to
confirm the 'contention made by this
paper that the American government
has been paying more attention to the
trade of China than the results have
warranted. The Importance of the fu
ture trade of the Chinese empire can
not be overestimated, If the people
really awaken to au active use of their
vast resources and capabilities, but the
fact remains, that this awakening pro
cess, long promised, is very slow and
efforts expended to encourage trade re
lations with China would produce far
better results if directed to our nearer
neighbors, Canada and Mexico, or ex
erted for the extension of our trade in
England, France and Germany, where
the possibilities have already been de
veloped and the result depends only
upon effort.
For many years statesmen in con
gress have been calling attention, to
the wonderful wealth that will come to
the nation that secures a liberal share
of the trade of the Chinese empire,
when its 400,000,000 people learn to
wear modern clothes and live accord
ing to modern customs. The situation
is alluring and the American govern
ment has spent millions of money in
consular work and trade missionary
effort, with results that cannot be con
sidered other than disappointing. The
statistics just published show that the
foreign trade of China for the last .year
was about $100,000,000 less than that
of Canada, although China has a popu
lation of 400,000,000 while Canada
does not claim more than 7,000,000.
The Chinese trade was less than twice
that of Cuba, although China has a
population more than 300 times that
of Cuba. China's imports for 1906
were $328,000,000, of which the
United States furnished less than 10
per cent., nearly, all of which was of
cotton goods. The exports aggregated
$190,00.0,000, the, bulk of which was
made up of raw silks and tea.
With a little' encouragement the
United States could build up . a trade
with Canada , and Mexico that would
amount to. as much in 'a year as the
trade with China' aggregates in a- dec
ade. ' ' i '
i THE LAY or TUB HBA.
Secretary of Agriculture Wilson has
just given another . illustration in
proof of the old adage that every crisis
or emergency finds a man equal to
meet it With the price of living in
creasing and everything in the com
modity line going up at a rate which
makes a man who wants a square
meal consider the advisability of hock
ing his life Insurance, Secretary Wil
son comes to the rescue with a solu
tion of the food problem., He " pro
poses to settle the whole trouble by
speaking a word of kindly encourage
ment to the American hen that will
induce her to double her lay.
Mr. Wilson, by the way, insists that
the hen Is entitled by every law of jus
tice to be recognized as the national
bird. He admits that , the eagle has
credit to distinction as a dresa parade
fowl, but when it comes right down to
utilitarianism the hen has him backed
off the boards.
But to return to. the omelette, the
secretary has it figured out that by
Judicious treatment the American hen
may be persuaded to increase her out
put of eggs by at least one dozen per
year per hen, thereby adding $50,
000,000 annually to the value of the
American farm products and a little
matter of about 200,000,000 dozen
eggs, or about twenty-five eggs a year
for each man, woman and child In the
United States, continental and colo
nial, which' ought to help some.
This chicken business is a great
proposition, when one Is ' lured into
the. statistics on the subject. For In
stance, by the census tables there were
In the United States in 1900 a little
matter of 233.59S.0S5 chickens, or
3.1 chickens, that Is three whole chick
ens and a drumstick, for each person.
That looks like a measly small allow
ance, considering the percentage of
Methodist population, but, the record
shows the supply to be perennial and
never falling, the crop of each year
being larger than the original stock.
The value of the chicken stock for the
year 1899 was $85,706,766, while the
value of the new crop tor the same
period, not Including the eggs, was
$136,891,877.
The figures become fairly dazzling
when the egg business is taken into
consideration. According to Mr. Wil
son's figures the 233,598,085 chickens
in the country In 1900 produced 1,293,
819,186 dozen eggs, even count. This,
of course, does not Include those lost
on the hay or captured by rats and
eggs-auckrng dogs. It is Impossible to
tell the exact average number of eggs
laid by each hen, beyond simply
making the average 5.5 dozen per
chicken. This is eminently unfair, as
it is generally known that in the poul
try yard everybody works but father
and the real figures would give larger
credit to the Industrious and joyful
ten. Nonetheless the total produc
tion was 15,615,830,232 eggs that
could not escape the count and were
originally "strictly fresh." With an
average value of 11 cents a dozen, the
total aggregates $142,320,110, or just
about the amount appropriated by con
gress each year to meet the pension
roll. Looking at it in that light, the
hen Is paying the nation's debt of grat
itude to Its defenders, which is some
thing to cackle about.
So it all looks simple enough that if
the hen that now lays slxty-elx eggs a
year can, by better care and feeding,
be induced to Increase her output to
an egg a day, with an occasional double-yoked
one for good measure, the
nation will be saved.
WHAT ABSIIfTHE WILL Da
King Chaulalongkorn had a birthday
the other day. Be It understood that
there is a real King Chaulalongkorn
and that the name, which looks like
a section of scrambled alphabet, be
longs to a roan and not to a headache
cure. He is the sure enough monarch
of Slam and Is out celebrating. He
happened to be over In Homburg when
he arrived athls majority, and he
celebrated It in a way that caused a
boom in the bromide markets for
weeks, afterwards. He determined
that human beings ought to be. happy
on his gracious, Important birthday,
and he decided that they should be
happy at his expense.
Detailed reports of the orgy are still
coming in. The king invited all Hom
burg to join with him, and there were
no declinations. He arranged for a
steady flow of humble beer to be kept
up at his expense throughout the three
days of the celebration and provided,
in addition, three bottles of wine, one
of champagne, one red and one of
plain white, for each citizen of the
town. Homburg had. just such a time
that a drink-loving people would be
expected to have with such facilities
at hand. ' But the shock came after
wards, when it was learned that Chaul
alongkorn did not Indulge In either
beer or wine himself, but did his own
drinking from a private stock of ab
sinthe. That explains a good deal.
It may even throw an illuminating
light on the king's title, which, as
written by himself and proclaimed
throughout his domain, is as follows:
King- of Slam, the most high, Illustrious,
Invincible and powerful monarch, crowned
with 101 golden crowns, each adorned with
nine species of precious Kerns, greatest,
purest and most divine master of immortal
souls, who sees all things; sovereign em
peror, under" the shadow of whose wings
lies the rich and Incomparable Kingdom of
Slam, to whom Is subject the most fruitful
of all lands lit by' the sun; greatest of lords;
whose, palace Is of fine gold and Jewels;
divine master of the golden thrones, and
of the white and red elephants; sovereign
god of nine kinds of gods; king who -Is like
unto the sun at Its zenith, and Ilka unto
the full moon In the time, of harvests; king
whose glance. Is more dazzling than the. orb
of the morning; king who is above all
emperors, monarchs and potentates of the
universe 'from the rising: to the setting- of
the sun. ' ' l ; .
All of that sounds remarkably allur
ing, like the alliterative thrillers used
In circus advertising, and it might give
Americans an idea that King Chaul
alongkorn was some pumpkins, if It
were not for the fact that the data
about conditions in Slam refute some
of his claims. "The most fruitful of
all lands," as the king describes it, Is,
In fact, about the most woebegone,
degraded, poverty-stricken country in
the world.' The king's fabulous-riches
are . derived from the opium traffic,
which yields $5,000,000 a year to the
royal coffers, and to a system of op
pression which makes the natives of
Slam worse than slaves. Every citizen
has to donate three months' service
each year for the benefit of the royal
family and is subject, in addition, to
having any part or all of his property
taken at the royal pleasure. The na
tives live in huts, in abject poverty.
Clearly Chaulalongkorn's picture of
himself is duo to his Indulgence In
absinthe.
THE CALL OF THE CtWBCH.
From the general session of. the
Protestant Episcopal church at Rich
mond, Va., the Presbytery of the south
and from nearly all meetings of differ
ent denominations throughout the
country comes the 'call for more me
for the ministry and the complaint
that young men are not seeking the
ministry as a vocation In numbers any
thing like sufficient to meet the con
stant and growing demand. The Pres
bytery of Philadelphia, which has long
been "regarded as a recruiting station
for the ministry pf that church, re
ports that but one candidate for cler
ical orders has appeared in that pres
bytery this year. Similar conditions
prevail throughout the south, where
all denominations report that the work
in flagging for lack of active young
men in the pulpit.
The cause for this condition is not
difficult to locate. The church officers
have not kept pace with the progress
and changes that have, taken place in
other vocations In the last few years.
It Is perhaps unfair to assert that the
ministry is losing Its attractiveness for
6ungmen because of the lack of re
ward it offers in. a financial way for
services rendered, but the fact remains
that ministers are human, are men be
fore they become preachers and are
susceptible to the attractions offered
in other callings, where conditions are
often more pleasant and promising
than church work. The ministers of
the nation, In all denominations, are
underpaid. The young man of talent
can do much better in a financial way
by following any other occupation
than that of preaching, unless it be
that of teaching, and until that condi
tion Is changed there will be a dearth
of desirable material for the ministry.
The trouble Is that the people who
want a church connection, a fine build
ing and a prosperous congregation are
not willing to pay lor it. They expect
the minister and his overworked wife
to become the servants of the church,
if not of the community, do every kind
of work which others shove upon them
and be contented and happy on pay
that is smaller than that given to the
choir leader. The wealthy member of
the congregation frequently ' gives
grudgingly .to the support of the
church and finds fault with a proposi
tion to pay the preacher a salary equal
to that of an imported chef or a high
class chauffeur. When the church is
supported financially as liberally as
the clubs there will be no lack of
candidates for the ministry. Congre
gations get about what they pay for.
The government pier at Jamestown
Is finished. ' About everything else
there Is completed except the payment
to the government of the money
loaned to the exposition management.
That will probably continue under the
order of "unfinished business."
"If my legs," said Senator Piatt,
"were as strong as my mind I would
get back ' Into the ' political harness
without delay." That threat naturally
robs the senator of sympathy he would
otherwise, receive on account of his
defective rolling stock.
"Secretary Taft arrived on the Min
nesota, passing all signal stations
without being sighted," says a cable
from Yokohama. The signal operator
that could not sight Mr. Taft ought to
hurry out and hunt up an oculist.
An Indiana man who is consul at a
French port has protested against be
ing transferred to Odessa. .Even Sen
ator Beveridge has . not been able to
convince the Hooslers that Odessa. is
a pleasant place to live.
The New York Times says that the
democrats of the south want to nomi
nate Mr. Bryan again In order to bury
him politically. Wouldn't he be bur
led politically if the party refused to
nominate him?
The ship subsidy bill will be urged
in congress again this winter. It Is
absolutely necessary for congress to
have some measure it can fight about
while the legislation is being fixed up
on the side.
Oberlln M. Carter has secured a Job
on a Standard Oil railroad In Florida.
Carter succeeded in robbing Uncle
Sam, but he will find a harder proposi
tion if he tries to get ahead of the
Standard.
PERSONAL. AND OTHERWISE.
It was a brilliant finish.
King Ak-Sar-Ben gave the hoodoo num
ber a few knockout drops.
' "The Winning of the South" will be an
appropriate companion volume for "The
Winning of the West.''
A t Louis contemporary says the people
"waited with bated breath" for the Veiled
Prophet parade. The lid waa off.
Considering: the flame kindled in Indiana
by a bogus cocktail, It fs appalling to think
what the real article would do to the
Hooslers. .
Nature Is a wonder In compensating for
its deficiencies. A legless man is the prize
dancer at Bayonne, N. J. Wouldn't that
stump you?
The presidential bear hunt In the cane
brakes of Louisiana affords no exhilaration
tor the bears of Wall street. The Utter
are aa tame as Davy Crockett's coon.
It Is announced by those who think they
know that women's hats now are the same
as they were one hundred years ago. This
explains the mystery of looking backward
when the hat goes by.
Some eminent scientist figures that the
average man winks his eyes 4,000,0)0 times
a year. It should be added that the sta
tistics were - compiled before winks were
put out of business at Omaha soda foun
tains. Carnival kings have their troubles like
ordinary mortals. Samson's In-shoot mule
kicked over, the traces and fled. The Teddy
bear float in Kansas City caught fire and
all the stuffed animals in the soo were
smoked up and out.
Unconsciously, perhaps, a prominent
banker advocates giving color tones to
paper money similar to the tints which dis
tinguish classes of celluloid chips, the side
ornamenta of card decks. If the suggestion
goes the banker will take the first stark.
An American tourist party of five, while
inspecting the famous Hofbrau In Munich,
ordered five schooners, and induced their
guide wth a liberal tip to put the contents
of four under his belt. With the tip he
planted two more and had some thirst
left. . The exhibit sattslied tba tourists for
one session.
The War department is convinced that
genuine lobsters are not limited to the
deep sea variety. A specimen of the kind
found on dry land put in a claim for dam
ages for losses caused by warships firing
heavy guns over his lobster patch. By the
time ho gets the money there will be con
siderable mould or moss on his shell.
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.
Happiness never Is found by running after
pleasure.
A touchy disposition often goes with a
tough heart.
A little care for others is worth a lot
of prayer for them.
A frown on the face does not Insure a
crown on the head.
No man happens to stub his toe on the
nugget of character.
Some sheep sigh for cactus aa soon aa
they get in the gTeen pastures.
The religion that confines Itself to your
own heart soon consumes itself.
Feople who are hunting persecution sel
dom are worthy of Us polishing.
If you are a fountain of the water of
life you will not need to do any gushing.
The hypocrite always thinks that his
smoothness will rectify his crookedness.
It Is easy to get Into crooked ways when
you test all things by the dollar sign.
If you have faith In prayer you wll not
be content with sending heaveu form let
ters. It's no use trying to drive folks to heaven
when your feet are making tracks the other
way. .
There Is some definite creed to every
character, but not the same creed for all
characters. Chicago Tribune.
kialaa; Llifhts of Prosperity.
Philadelphia Press.
Americans bought nearly all of the $15,
000,000' cf diamonds that were mined last
year. That Is about half the value of the
wheat which Uncle Sam slilppad abroad
la Ui last twelve months.
JLU
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A Dollar or Two
SECULAR SHOTS AT TUB PULPIT
LoulBvlUe Courier Journal: The Chicago
minister may have met 269 women on a
jag, but there naturally . arises a question
as to the length of bis Jag.
Kansas City Star: Bishop Candler of the
Methodist church,' south, launches, a broad
cast against what he call "sissy religion."
What sort of a return Is this for all of the
work that the women have done for tho
church In - general,' .and 'the Methodist
church in particular? Let Bishop Candier
try his hand on a "mannish" religion and
see how far he will get.
Washington Herald: When ministers ex
change pulpits as a courtesy to one another
they usually preach an old sermon, but
they generally are careful enough to look
over the manuscript to see if the local
points need any alteration. A Somervllle
minister was asked to preach at Anover
once, and he neglected this simple precau
tion. In his discourse was an allusion to
the jail at Somervllle, and, forgetting for
a moment that he was at Andover, he said:
"Soqnor that a child of mine should be
subjected to such Influences I would , be
willing to have him confined In the Institu
tion." He had meant to point through the
wlndow.uf the church to the Somervllle JalL
As it was. he wa pointing directly at the
Andover Theological seminary.
DOMESTIC rLEASANTIUES.
Wife Well, I declare. . Here's an old
school friend of mine who has just made
a fortune.
Husband All right, my dear. Go ahead.
Tell me that you might nave married him.
Detroit Free Press.
Young Woman What a comfort I shall
take in my children, when I am old!
Young Man Suppose you don't have any?
Young Woman Oh, then I shall have to
rely on my grandchildren. Cleveland
Leader.
"Do you think the Intentions of vouna-
Ootror are serious?" asked the anxious
mower.
"I'm sure they are, mamma." replied
the pretty daughter. "Why, only last night
ne taugnea nearmy ai one or papas al
leged Jukes." Chicago News.
"His widow says he waa . exceptionally
well prepared for death.''
"Why. he died an unbeliever!"
"1 know, but he carried a bia- Insurance."
Houston Pont
ile Darling, I have won you: I would
now have your father, to boot.
She Oh, Alfred, I'm afraid If It comes
to booting, he'll have you! Baltimore
American.
Impecune I'm poor, sh-, but I love your
daughter.
Old Rocksey Tut! tut! young man; you
can't make money as quick as that In this
world. Harper's Weekly.
uecoed?
YES'
If when you buy a
Piano you do not
get the same Piano-value
for your
money that anoth
er . person would
get in the same
store for his
money.
In' other words,
you are short
sighted tf you be
lieve a dealer
when he tells you
he Is -telling a
HOTHUTQ CAST
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piano to you for ISO or 100 less than
he would sen o auyons cue. j mo iuuu,
i v- i Mv. is that you are paying 60 to
$100 more.
. But how are you to know by first as
suring yourself that the store you patroi-
. only one way of doing business
the square way.
in tins store every piano bears a con
splcsous tag and on that tag is a von-l
A. HOSPE CO., 1513 Doufllas St.
We Do Expert Piano Tuning and Repalrino.
1TUMTY
a Week Will Do
KjasakBssUgssil shsls
"MOTHER."
James Whltcomb Riley In The Century,
I
i m gui in oia i Know
It seems so long ago v.
So long sence John v-as hers!
Ho went so young! our Jim
'8 as old now 'most as him
Close on to thirty yeart '
I know I'n glttln' old
I know it by tba cold,
Fom time 'at first frost files)
Seems like sence John was hero
Winters la more sever; T
Ah4 winter I de-splsel
And ret. It seems, some days,
John's here, with his odd ways
Comes soon-like from ths corn
Field, callia' Mother" at .
Me like he called me that ,
Even 'fore Jim was born!
' When Jim come fLa! how good
Waa all the neighborhood!
And Doctor! when I heerd
Him Joke John, kind o' low.
And say: Yes, folks could go
"Pa" needn't be afeared!)
When Jim come John says 'a
A-bendin' over me
And baby in the bed
And Jes us three says 'e.
"Our little family!"
And that was all he said.
And cried Je flke a child! .
Kissed me again, and smiled,
'Cause I was cryin', too,
(And here I am again
A-cryln', same as then
Yet happy through and through.)
The old home's most In mind
And joys long left behind!
Jim's little histin' crawl
Acrost the floor to where
John set a-rorkln' there!
(I'm glttln' old that's all!)
I'm glttln' old no doubt!
(Healthy aa all git-out!)
' But, strangest thing I do
I cry so easy now
I cry Jes anyhow
The fool-tears wants ma to!
But Jim he won't be told
'At "Mother's" gettin' old!
Hugged me. he did. and smiled
This morning, and bragged "shora"
He loved me even more
Than when he waa a Child 1
That's his way; but ef John
Was here now, lookln' on.
He'd shorely know and see;
"But, 'Mother.' ' s'pect he'd say,
'B'poae you air glttln' gray.
You're younger yet than me!' "
I'm glttln' old because
Our young days, like they waa,
Keeps comin" back so clear,
At little Jim, once more,
Comes histin' 'crost the floor
Fer John's old rockln'-cheerl
' Oh, beautiful! to be
A-gtttin' old. like me!
Hey. Jim! Come In new, Jhnt
Your supper's ready, dear!
(How more, every year.
He looks and acts Ilka him!)
sptcuous price the price which ths plant
positively will sell for.
The Hnspe One Price. No Commission
plan Is the only way In the pl.no busi
ness to t square. It means economy to
the purchaser and increased sales tor the
dealer. We believe thai our large and
growing Piano Sales are due to the faot
that we follow tnis principle.
You can positively find greater variety
of first-class pianos to select from, at
lower prices, In this store than any other
in the entire United States. Wa are tao
tory distributers for the Kranlch & Bach,
Krakauer. Hullet & Davis, Kimball, ltni-h
A Lane. H. H. NeUnn. Conway Cable-Nelson,
Kensington. Wener Hros., Cramer,
etc. In these stirring fall davs there
ar new, values appearing In our a'os
rooms dally. Don't fail to see us.
Should any person advise yau to buy a
piano of Hospe's you may depend upon
It that they have your interest at heart
and are not promoted by a selfish motive,
aa we do not pay commission.