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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 27, 1904)
THE OMAIIA" ' ILLUSTRATED "BEE. Israel Zangwill Talks Instructively About Jewish East Africa November 27. 1904. Fi ll t' f L'...l (Copyright. !.' fa , Frank O. Carpenter.) I EW TURK. NOV. 24. (Special Cor I rTondre of The Bee.) It was I In hla anfkrtm-nt- at th flher- wood Studios that I chatted wlh Israel Zangwlll about the Zionist movemint and the new Jewish state, which t. b built urj In the highlands of East Africa. Mr. Zangwlll haa come here from London to push forwa-.l thla project, and at the same time to watch the pmsrem of the several plays he haa on the Amfrlcan stage. Hla "Children of the Oh-tto" la now being acted In Yiddish In Brooklyn, and Cecelia Loftu la-a tarring the country with hla new comedy, entitled "The Herlo-Comlc Oov ernera." He has sold another comedy since he came here, and Is well satisfied with hla success In these re-icts. He tells me. however, that he hopes sorne day to write a drama of a higher nature thin anything he has yet produced a great drama with Jews as the background and the principal char acters. Tha novelist has his serious as well as his humorous side, and this Is especially shown In hla work for his people In for warding the Interests of the Jewish East African state. Before I reproduce our conversation let me take my pen and paint an Ink sketch of he man as f saw him this morning. We were amid oriental surroundings. Paintings of the for east looked down upon us from the walls of the studio, which la Mr. Zang wlll's temporary apartment, a auuen-faced camel, which might have been one of those Which brought the wise men from the far east to Bethlehem, scowled at me out of an easel at my right, and Zangwlll, as he (ay upon a dlvsn of old Turkish rugs, acked only a turban and gown or a cap and Jewish gaberdine to make him har monize with the scene. As I looked at him I remarked his pronounced Jewlah features, his dark complexion and his nose with Its typical Israclltlsh curve. He has eyes of a liquid brown, curly hair, combed up from a high but not over-broad forehead, and a manner too earnest and nervous perhaps to be In strict accord with the somnolence of the far east. Indeed, when the telephone rang, as It did several times during our conversation, he almost ran to answer It: and tris smooth, well-worded sentences were Curious and Romantic Copers of Cupid Kidnaped the Bridegroom. H V.V An f V, I , ir at nm wrarlHInir- I I in Chicago. With the usual fore si I thought nf bridegrooms. J. Wil liam Cornwell planned to make a hasty exit after the ceremony ui..i in bride. Miss Janet Lungland, but their fool friends were on guard. When 'the latter saw that Cornwell was about to slip away from the reception which fol lowed tha. .wedding, they went out the back door and made a dash for the front of the house Just as Cornwell was coming down the steps. .He tried to enter the cab and get away, but they cut him oft, so he ran down the street In his dress suit, his patent leather shoes and with a heavy overcoat thrown over his arm. His friends followed In tha cab and over took him after a chase of four blocks and made him a prisoner. They took him to the home of a friend and treated him to a poker gams' and with refreshments which he had paid for until ( o'clock In the morn ing, when he was allowed to go. To carry the joke further, they saw to It that ha lost. la. the meantime his wife was waiting for him at the rendexvous down town. The kidnaping offthe groom was not the ouly fVaturo ot -ho OornwellrLongland nuptials-. By - express desire of the.; bride, who declared that-she- wanted something out of the ordinary at her wedding, all the mualc for the service was supplied by an expert whistler. "Oh, Promise Me," whistled, was tho substitute for the wed ding march, and other popular airs, also whistled, made up the rest of the musical program. It was while they were still under the Influence of this exciting muslo that Corn wall's friends plunned to kidnap him. Denied His Intended Bride. Refused her father's consent to marry the man of her choice on their Intended wedding day, and obedient to her parent's command. Miss Mlnnl Ewlng. not yet a. of Nlnevah. Greene county, Pa., is dlscon-' solate. Burn Westfall, who refused to press his nult against the wishes of the girl s family Is on his way to Oklahoma. Westfall will return when her parents re lent. He Is a son of the Rev. Oliver West fall of Triumph, Greene county, and was to have married Miss Ewlng. The girl la a daughter of John B. Ewlng. Westfall, a school teacher, has courted her for two years. He proposed that they be married and that sho accompany him to, Oklahoma, where he had determined to go, as tils health had failed. This was agreed to and announcement of the marriage day was made. - Miss Ewlng prepared her trousseau and Westfall secured the mar riage license. They were . to have . been married quietly at the home of a clergy man. When Westfall went to the Ewlug home to take hla Intended bride to the clergyman's Miss Ewing's father refused flatly to allow the marriage to take place. Pleadings were futile and Miss Ewlng re fused to marry without her father's con seat. Westfall started alone for Oklahoma, Trolley Honeymoons. Near-Chicago towns have broken all rec ords In the matter of marriages during this much of the year 1904. In Rockford during the ten months up to November 1, there had been 831 marriages. In the same period In IM3 there were 661. and in 1902 there were 90. The electric railways are In a measure responsible for the Increase of this class of business. There are now three interur ban lines centering in the town. They bring in hundreds of couples from other towns and from acrons the statu line In Wis consin. The same Increase is noticeable In' other electric railway centers. Aurora, although it' Is 'not a county aeat, gets a great deal of business of this class. The town is now connected with Chicago, Jollet, and all of tha Pox river towns, the third rail system grldlror.ing the most prosperous sections ef the near-Chicago territory. The court officers are performing most of the out-of-town marriages. Now and then a minister is hunted up and the cere mony said In the parsonage. A Rockford minister relates that recently a Wisconsin young man, gave up his last dim to ba MRS. THOMAS F. WILLIAMS.. uttered with all the vigor of an up-to-date pushing reformer of the twentieth century, - ;$ ' Faleatlno for the Jews. I hard asked Mr. Zangwlll to tell me some thing of the Zionist movement. He replied! "Tim Zionists are an organisation if Jewg from all parts of the world, who are work ing together to bring Palestine bwk Into the hands -of our people. We Jews havo always hoped tent Inlestlne would agata belong to us. This hope- has lasted for more than t.OOo years, and from time to time Various projects, based upon It, hava been fornrcd to repossoss the land.' Nearly" alt of these, however, have been visionary and outside the domain of practical poasl billty. Many of them have been founded upon the second coming of a messlah, who should suddenly rise and lead us In soma mlruculous svay back to our mother coun try. Many Jews hdpe for this today, and confidently believe It will occur. , "The Zionists also expect to acquire. Palestine, but their plana are based upon, the methods and men of the time. They are practical In that they expect to obtain, their end through modern politics. Thef want to Interest the Jews of the world la this work, and through them the great governments, and In time to be able ta purchase Palestine of the Sultan of Turkey or to show him that It Is to his advantaga that they should have It In doing so they expect to convince the great powers of tha world that such a consummation would not be to the disadvantage of tha world at large." n "What could the Jews do with the coun try, Mr. Zangwlll T" "They could renovate and develop It. Wa were once an agricultural and pastoral power." A Movement for tha Common People, "But would not such a colony ba founded upon charity T Would it 'not ba a colony of paupers, as It were?" "No, that la what wa want to avoid. We want to teach our people to take care of themselves and to be Independent. Wa be lieve that Qod helps those who help them selves. This movement Is necessarily . founded upon charity at tha beginning. married In his parlor. He had saved enough to carry himself and bride back home on the trolley line. But 10 cents of his store of cash remained. He npo.ogized to the minister for his not being able to offer mora and when the parson found that he was giving up his last cent he refused to ac cept It, telling the blushing groom that be was quite welcome to his services and In sisting that he keep the money. But the young Badger refused to do any such thing; he laid It within the reach of the good pas tor and went off with his bride as happy as if he were carrying with him a pocket ful of coin. Chicago Tribune. FnneVal Ritual at a Wedding. A strange blunder was perpetrated at u wedding at Philadelphia recently. Bishop Rudolph Dubbs of the United Evangelical church of Hariisburg was the offending clergyman. He was reading from the Meth odist ritual, with whlah he was unfamiliar, and accidentally turned two pages instead of one. He had read two sentences of the burial ritual before he saw his mistake. A pin could be heard .drop in the church as the bishop read and the bride repeated after him: ' "I, Elisabeth, take three, Thomas, to be my wedded husband, -to have -and to hold from thla' day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance, and thereto 1 plight my faith." Bishop Dubbs had reached the bottom of a page. In ' the regular ritual a prayer follows this plight of faith, but to the con sternation and painful surprise of all' the bishop continued: "We brought nothing Into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away. Blessed-" Assisting ministers were clutching at the bishop's sleeves. He paused awkwardly and began to nervously turn the pages of , the discipline. In his excitement he turned too far back and was all at sea. The face of the bride was blanched, the groom's a study. A murmur of excitement rose among tha throng f guests and every-" body looked uncomfortable. The organist, thinking this pause his cue, started to play the wedding march, but his hand was stayed by the round, clear tones of Dr. Peters, the first of the clergymen to recover his composure. . He read the prayer following the plight of faith: . "Oh, Eternal God, creator and preserver of all mankind, giver of all spiritual, etc," Bride Knows News. The Tamaqua (Pa.) Register tells of a pretty little romance in which Miss Anna I. Honsberger, Its editor and manager, and A. J. Person, - general trafflo manager of the Alpha Portland Cement company of Eaaton, figured as the principals. Saturday, November S, the couple went to New York, where they were married. No announcement was made of the wedding until they' returned, when Mrs. Person, true to her editorial instinct, printed the story as la ''beat," which, in the parlance oCthe print shop, means exclusively. Mrs. Person announces that she will con tinue as editor and manager of the Register for ' the present. She la one of the most successful newspaper women In the state, and superintends the mechsnlcal part of the paper as well as the editorial. Too Bashfnl. Miss Anna Foster of St. Louis was so bashful that it required fifteen minutes' coaxing on the part of her nance, George McDonald of Denver, beore she would agree to enter the office of Oeorge Caugh lan, the marriage license clerk at East St. Louis, who refused to Issue the license unless both parties were present . On Mr. Caughlan's agreement to close the door Miss Foster entered the office. .A few minutes later the couple were married by Justice of the Peace Hender. The couple had bseu childhood - sweet hearts In St. Louis, and when Mr. McDon ald came to see the World's fair he hunted her up. They went to the fair several times together and then decided to get married. THOMAS r.- WILLIAMS, ISRAEL, ZANOWILL. Photo But even so the gifts are made as an 'Investment.' Tho money end of .the movement Is known as the Jewish' Colonial Trust, a joint stock company, capitalised at about 110,000,000 In five dollar shares. Our stock Is by no means all paid In. but a great deal of It has been taken. The money so given has been Invested, and we have already declared dividends of three per cent to our shareholders. They have Invariably refused, however, to take the money, and ask that the dividends bo added to the general fund. I know (he Jews are looked upon as money worship ers, pure and simple, but thii. it seems to me, shows they are something more." "Where does this money come from, Mr. Zangwlll?" "The movement toward the acquisition of Palestine Is being supported by gifts of Jews from all parts of the world. A little of it has come from tho rich and the pros, parous, but the most of It from the poor. Indeed some of our subscriptions are si small that five families have clubbed to gether to buy one five-dollnr share of stock. Many aid by purchasing stamps of the Jewish national fund and ad.llnjr these to the regular postage of every letter they send out. These stamps cost about 'a Cent at'vre, so that when a man puts one on a letter he Is giving one cent to the cause." "But do you expect to buy Palestine with tills money?" "If we could buy It, we would be glad to do so, but Its political situation is such that it will probably be Impossible to buy it outright.. Nevertheless if we could show the sultan that we had an enormous fund of money to develop the country and that we could add to the prosperity of that part I Quaint and Funny Sayings lunmt VII, mamma, Lite Blukv1 I I man just gave me three sticks I of nnnriv Mamma Well, you ' must be polite and offef your little ulster two of them. Tommy All right, mamma, but I wish you would tell her to be polite, too, and only take one. t ' Teacher Cm you tell me the difference between "like" and "love"? Bmall Boy Yes, ma'am. I like my papa and momma, but I love pie. "Maw," said Tommy Tucker, "I wish you'd scratch my back, 'bout halfway down, where I can't get at It. Hurry, maw! I'm 'frsld it's s-olng to stop Itching." Growing tired by unit by, he wished to win his liberty by finesse. He held out his arms to her as she passed by. "Give me a kiss," he begged. She shook her head. "No," said she; "I can't kiss such a naughty little boy." "Oh, give me a kiss," he insisted, pout ing. "No," she -refused, very firmly, "I will not." ', With that he frowned and stamped his little' feet on the rung of the chair. "If you don't come here and give me a kiss," he stormed. "I'll throw one- at you!" New York Times. "Bobble," said his uncle, "I'd be ashamed Three Golden MUkuiuiiiaif imviu tt III m I I golden weddings In one family when Mr. and Mrs. Thomas F. Williams ot Peru, Neb., cele brated the anniversary of their half a oen tury of married life. William, Alex and Katharine McKenney, the three youngest of "the twlve children ot Mr. and Mrs.' J. Myer McKenney have all celebrated their golden wedding anniversaries within tha last. three year. . :' - On February II. 1852, William McKenney married' Hester N. Locksrd. They came to Nemaha county in 1963 and remained here until 1900, when they moved to Custer county, Oklahoma. They are the parents of twelve children, all living but ons. Alex McKenney and Elizabeth Swan were united In marriage on September 22. 1853. Located In Nemaha county in 1857 and are the parents of eleven children,' eight of whom are still living. They celebrated Vita, AXJOCANSOR - ' i : ' - - i .. ' t . ' - ' " .' ' -' t I Copyright by Rockwood. ot his dominion and to his revenues there from he would probably give the land over to the Jews, although he would still claim it as one of his dependencies." "How about the fund of Baron de Hlrsch?" "That amounted to $50,000,000. It was left by him to establish colonies and homes for the Jews of the world, and Its trustees have attempted, to doHhls by purchasing land and sending poor Jews to South Amer ica and elsewhere. .Their attempts so far have been failures, and of late thay have been applying the Income from this vast sum to scattering charities. This Is con trary to the idea of Baron de Hlrsch, and we hope to be able to direct the fund, even tually to the Zionist movement, and more especially toward the acquirement ot Pales tine. If we could show ' the sultan that we had $50,000,000 back of us, there would be little trouble In getting him to oonsider our proposition. If we can acquire Pales tine we believe we can make it a pros perous country, and from there, we can spread o'ut Into ancient Chaldea and other fertile parte of Asia Minor. I should like to see the rich lands along the Tigris and Euphrates worked by our people." "How many Jews are there In the world, Mr. Zangwlll?" "There are probably about 11,000,000 cr 12, 000,000. .There are something like- 6.000,000 In Russia, about 2,000,000 in Austria-Hungary, 600,000 In Germany, about 200,000 In Great Britain and' Ireland, and more than 500,000 on this hemisphere. Altogether there are about 9,000,000 In Europe and sev eral hundred thousand In Asia and Africa.' There are about 80,000 Jews In Palestine and the -number- Is steadily increasing. Many of - those who have settled in the to bo seen with. my face as dirty as yours." . "Huh!"., rejoined Bobby, In a tone that savored of dlHgust.- "You've got whiskers." Our little youngster, 6 year old, haa Just reached . the ' "learnlng-to-wrlte". stags In school. Sometimes his teacher has the children copy moral precepts from the blackboard Into their copy books. Among these was the statement, "Kind words are jiever lost." In Freddy's book, however, written clear across the paper to the other margin, this appeared: "Kind words are never loa.'!'. When he was asked: "Where Is the T. Freddy?" he replied: "Ob there was no room on the paper for the T, so I left It on the dSk. You can see It there, if you go to the school." The same youngster has a sister who was married recently. Being on, a visit to her parents, and happening to catch Freddy In some mischief, his sister reproved him. "Umph!" sniffed Freddy, "you ' needn't cold me! You don't belong in my family, anyway." Sunday, Magazine. In a nearby town there Is a family which buys its bread from a baker named Daley. Over this bread the father , of the house every morning says the' Lord's prayer as the first grace of the day. Ever since she has been admitted to the grown-ups' table . Edith,- 6, has listened at tentively. Friendliness with the cook has afforded her opportunity to watch the baker wagon each day and to her the "giv Weddings in their fiftieth .anniversary -at Custer City, Okl.,' on September 22. 1903.' ' ; Katherlne ' McKenney was. married No vember 13, 1854, to Thomas F. Williams and settled In Nemaha county,, soon afterward. They are the parents of six children.- On November 12, '19u4,' they 1 celebrated their golden Wedding and made a record that few -.families can. boast of. r , . ' Ths family emigrated to this country , from Bureau', county,' ' Illinois, and ' were among the early settlers of Nemaha county iwhere they raised their children to be use,, 'ful men and women. The three couplea ar still living, with the exception of Mrs. Alex 1 McKenney, who 'died shortly after reach ing the1-half-century of married life. All . three families resided in London 'precinct (and were highly respected citizens. Thy were members ' of .the ' Msthodlst Episcopal , church,. as are most-of their descendants. . When the Oklahoma erase was on .two of M-KTNNTT. .' ' '' ! '! ! ALEXANDER M'KIXNEY. Holy Land are tillers of the soil." At this point in our conversation Mr. Zangwlll asked me if I had ever heard of Ir. Theodor Herxl, the founder .of the Zionist movement, and went on to speak of him, referlrng to him as a twentieth oentury messlah. The Twentieth Center Messiah. "Dr. Herri." said lie. "whs the editor of the Neue Freie Free so. tho leading . nyv paper of Vienna, and also a' dramatist and author of note. About sevfn years ago he announced his Intention of getting Pales tine for the Jews by practical method, and at once began to put his words Into action. He called a world's congress, and Jews from everywhere sent delegates. They came by. score from Russia, Austria and every other country of Europe, and there were many from the United States and from Morocco, Algeria and other parts of Africa. The convention was a success and since then annual meetings have been held and the organisation known as 'Zionist,' working toward this end all over the world. We have a Federation of American Zion ists In this country. We have altogether several hundred thousand members. "After starting the movement," Mr. Zang wlll continued, "Dr. Heril devoted himself lo it body and soul. He traveled over Europe, seeing the leading men of each country and Interesting them in It. He ob tained the support of Joseph Chamberlain In England; he so Interested the emperor of Germany that he gave him an Inter view, and the pope to such an extent that he received him and approved of his scheme. Dr. Herxl visited Constantinople and had two Interviews with the sultan. He made such an impression that when he left the sultan said: 'That man Herri Is a good man. As he looks, so, I Imagine, the Christ might have looked.' Dr. Heril was In many ways like the Christ. We some times call him the twentieth century Mes siah. 'This work," Mr. Zangwlll went on, "was kept up by Herxl for seven years, and all at his own expense. He might have had a salary from the Zionist fund, but would not take It. At the same time he was carrying on his bread and butter work of writing. The result was he overdid and died a few months ago. He left nothing, and we are now taking subscriptions to a fund for his family." "But did Dr. Herxl have no success with the sultan, Mr. Zsngwlll?" I asked. "Not as to Palestine," was the reply. "The sultan offered to give him lands about Palestine, where the Jews might settle snd form colonies of their own. These lands were not taken, as Dr. Herxl did not want to ask anything of the sultan but Palestine Itself." "What was the project to establish the Jews on the peninsula of Sinatt" "That was brougnt forth Immediately after these Interviews -with the sultan," said Mr. Zangwlll "Finding that thcy( could not Immediately get Palestine, tho Zionists thought It might be well to estab lish colonies nearby, from where they could move over Into Palestine as soon as that country could be acquired. Egypt is, as you know, now a dependency of Great Britain, and it Is practically ruled by the British government. You may also know that the sands of the desert will blossom like the rose If they can only have water. , Now, we planned to take the peninsula of Slnal, which was the wilderness throtiKh which the children of Israel wandered for forty years before they came to the Promised Land, and Irrigate It by the waters of the Nile. We were ready to build a Cflnnl to the Nile to carry the water there.-and1 the project seemed to bo an engineering possi bility. When It was brought before the Brltirh Foreign office, however, and before ot Youngsters us our daily bread" has had a special sig nificance. The other day she began to think that this plea for one particular baker's product was a trifle tedious, and as soon as her father finished prayer she said: "Papa, isn't there any other baker In town 'cept that man Daley?" Philadelphia Inquirer. "Oh, mamma," exclaimed little Alice, rushing In from school, "Ethel Talbot has got the loveliest, mother that ever was. She Is such a beautiful mother. I do wish you could see her." "Tell me about her, Alice," said her mother. "Why la she so lovely?" "Why," said" Alice, "she lets Ethel say 'By golly' all she wants to." District Attorney Jerome has a beautiful 2-year-old boy whose mother, to punish him for some little offense, tied htm In his high chair a while. Teacher Then you understand, children, that by Eve's wickedness sin came into the world? Cissy Brown No, ma'am. Me an' mamma thinks it was all Adam's fault. Ethel Pa, why dues Uncle Frank always say "beware of the widows?" Pa Because, my child, widows are sup posed to be expert In catching husbands. Ethel Gracious! I wonder if I'll have to be a widow before I can get married. One Family the families. Alex and William McKenney, moved to that place and left a host of friends, sorry to loe such kindly neigh bors. However, their new home suits them, besides many of their , children are. located there and they are naturally more content to be with them during their declining years. ''.'' The McKenneys have . occasion to be proud of their hardy . family and of the vplendld record made by them, not only In the matter of longevity, but for the uae ful lives they led and. the happy, prosper ous children who are doing their share to make the world a better place by being upright; honest and true. The friends and neighbors living' In Ne maha county rejoice, with them and wish the aged people a peaceful and quiet life, now their sctlve part In the world Is' over. Four generations attended the last golden wedding that of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas F. William. MRS. Lord Cmmer. the British administrator of Egypt, it was not seen how the water could be spared and the project fell through." "What suggisted your settling In East Africa?" "That originated In the mind ot Joseph Chamberlain," replied Mr. Irrael Zangwlll. "He knew of our movement In favor of Slnul, when he mnde his trip to Africa after the Boer war. He saw the barren ness of the penlnsul.i of Sinai as he went through the Sue canal, and Inter on con trasted it with the (treat fertility of the highlands of BrltlFh East Africa, which he visited by means of the t'gnnda railway. He was so delighted with the latter country that when he returned he ndvlsed that a part of It be given' to the Jews to form a colony there. That suggestion ' developed Into the definite proposition Which has now been mnde to the Zionists." - . - "Junt where and what Is this country, Mr. Zangwlll?" I asked. "It lies about 300 miles Inland from Mom basa, within ten miles of the new railroad which has been bult from Mombasa to Lake Victoria. Tht railroad Is about t"0 miles long, and It goes straight inland from the Indian ocean, opening up some ot the most fertile parts of the continent. A few hundred miles from the coast the land rises, and this territory which In offered to the Jews Is on a plateau which is almost a mile above the sea. "The territory is. larger than your atate of Connecticut. It haa an area of about 6,0tO square miles, and Sir Harry Johnston, who was in charge of the protectorate, de scribes Its soil as wonderfully fertile. ( "It Is a white man's country. It will grow all kinds of European vegetables, and potatoes raided there are now shipped up and down the coast of East Africa. Cotton Is grown In Uganda, a little further west, and coffee in the lands to tho eastward. The country Is rich nilnerally, and wonder fully rich In pasturage. It Is a land of big game. There are vast herds of antelopes, xebras, gnus and giraffes. There are droves of elephants, and also rhinoceroses, lions and leopards. Tho country has a native population of more than ordinary intelli gence, and native labor can be easily ob tained. The ordinary man works for from Tersely Told Tales Affectionate to the Last. QNQRESSMAN Fltxgerald's latest I f " I story Is of an Irish couple In I I Boston whose connubial bliss was occasionally disturbed by violent misunderstandings. They were devoted In their own way, however, and when the husband died he left a tempor arily Inconsolable widow. A friend dropped in to see how she was getting along, and In the course of a chat remarked: "I'm glad to hear that poor Mike died happy. anyway." "Indeed he did,- Mrs. Lafferty," was the reasonably cheerful reply. "Sure, the last thing he done was to crack me over the head wid a medicine bottie, the darlln'." Boston Globe. ' The Preacher's Error. In the early days of Springfield a preacher bought some sausage for lunch one Sunday and took It to church with him. He carried the sausage In the back pocket of his coat, and a dog, catching the scent, followed him. Every few feet the preacher would kick backward at the dog without look ing around. Arriving at church, the preaclmr began the services and the dog lay down behind the altar. A few minutes later one of the deacons stole quietly up behind the preacher. In tending to hand him a sheet of paper, and pulled his coat tall. Without glancing back, the preacher gave one vicious kick, and sent the deacon rolling down the altar steps onto the dog, which set up a terrible howling. The preacher, still looking straight ahead, said: "My friends, this thieving scoundrel haa been trying to rob me ever since I made a purchase at the butcher shop before com ing here." When ' the preacher discovered what he had done he dismissed the congregation--and went outside to kick the dog. Sedalla (Mo.) Democrat. ... A Free Translation. An Irish judge once had a case In which the accused man understood only Irish. An Interpreter was accordingly sworn. The prisoner said something to the Interpreter. "What does he say?" demanded his lord ship. "Nothing, my lord," was the reply. , "How . dare you say. thnt when we all heard him? Come, sir what was it?" "My lord,"' said the Interpreter, begin ning to tremble, "It had nothing to do with the case." "If you don't answer I'll commit you, sir!" roared the Judge. "Now, what did he say?" "Well, my lord, you'll excuse me, but he said: 'Who's that old woman with the red bed curtain round her sitting up there?' " At which the court roared. "And what did you say?" asked the Judge, looking a little uncomfortable. "I said: Whist, ye spalpeen! That'a the ould boy that's goln' to hang yei.' " Distressing-. "Slumbering congregations," said Bishop Daniel A. Goodsell of Chattanooga, "have distressed many a minister, but I doubt if any minister was ever so distressed as a colored brother that I heard out in Wa tauca. "This brother, a native of Watauga, Is an Itinerant preacher, traveling between Straw, berry Plains, Nbla Chucky and Paint Rock. "His Nola Chucky congregations, as a rule, are large und attentive; but one hot Sunday, strive as he would, the poor fellow could not seem to hold their Interest. "The sun streamed Into the, hot little auditorium. A host of flies made a loud bussing sound. The leading colored citlxen of Nola Chucky sat fast asleep, his wife dozed and nodded beside him, and all over the house reputable people, usually most attentive, slumbered profoundly, lulled by the heat, the minister's voice and the bus sing flies. "The poor' man plodded on through his sermon. It discouraged him; It took his spirit away, to see so many sleepers. And now, to make conditions worse, a group of children In the gallery began to talk and laugh. "The distracted minister looked up at tha WILLIAM E. M KINNET. ! , ' , Y if y tl to 23 a month, and good servants ran l had at a cost of from fa to 21 per month. "How would such a settlement be gov erned?" "The Idea 14. to have a Jewish adminis tration, a Jewish local government with a Jewish governor at the head. The country will be a dependency of Great Britain, but no more so than other British clonics, i It would be ruled by Jews and I think there is no doubt of our carat Ity to rale our selves. Some of the great statesmen of the world have been Jews. Tak-. for In stance, Disraeli and Gamt-ottL The lead ers of the eoc allsilr and some other move ments of today are Jew.' Woald It Part "But do you think the Jews would make the country paT Would they be success ful In building up a home and state ot thetf own?" "I see no reason why not," ssld Mr. Zangwlll. "The Jew Is ordinarily very suc cessful, lie has been enrlonlrg Christian capitals and states fur centuries, and that with no final profit to himself. In one re spect an enormous amount of time Would be saved.' Millions of Jews still keep tho Saturday Sabbath, and as tbey cannot use the Christian Sunday for business, (hey. have a double day of rest every - week; We could almost rebuild a state out ot tha cost of the Sabbath." "But would the Jews go there?" I askeoV ''That remains to be seen," replied Miv Zangwlll. "I think they would. We are an emigrating nation and our people are al ways ready to better themselves. There are many millions In Russia who would glndly accept any alternative rather than continue in their present condition, and the Russian government has said that it would be willing to let the Jews go If they wished. It Is our idea, however, that tha 1 Jewish state in Eaat Africa would be one of the stepping stones toward the acquire ment of Palestine, it would show what the Jews could do In (he development of a country and In governing themselves, and would aid us in persuading the sultan and the governments of Europe to acquiesce in our repossession of the land whlah OodV gave us as our own." FRANK O. CARPENTER, Both Grim and Qoy babblins children and then down at' the slumbering congregation. 1 " 'I must ask for silence up there in the gallery,' he said. 'Don't you kn6w, chil dren, that if you make so much noise you'll wake your parents7 "Philadelphia Bulle tin. Re Took It ' Back. In a certain town of western Massachu setts two ot the most prominent cttisena are a Methodist brother and a Presby terian brother. .These are neighbors, and, for the most par(, dwell on good terms, . except when they try to effect an exchange of horses or to talk religion, . On one occasln the two had traded horses, and although the outcome rankled In tha breaat of the Methodist, they had met and started a discussion on the subject ot pre destination. As usual; an altercation en sued, when the Methodist lost control ot himself. With mixed emotions concerning horse trades and John Calvin In his myid, he suddenly exclaimed: "You're a robber, a liar and a Presby terian!" Thla - proved too- much for the Presby terian, and a fight began, In which the Presbyterian got the best of It. As he sat upon his prostrate opponent, bumping hla head s gainst the ground, be said: "Take It back, take It back, or I'll bump your foolish head off !" , . "I'll take it back,-" gasped the vanquished Methodist, "on th's first two counts; you're not a robber nor a liar, but you're a blamed old Presbyterian It I die for It!" Harper's) Weekly. Mis Right Not Recognised. The story of the hard' worked newspaper -man who devoted so much of his time to , bis work ' that he did not recognise ' tha youngest member of his family- when h met the youngster unexpectedly is not without Its parallel. In this case "it was - the baby, who, not having sufficient oppor tunlty to become acquainted with his proud , parent, made a remark which led to re- ; solves of reformation. - A traveling man naturally gets home but once In - each week, sometimes drawing , a two-week trip, and In other cases being : away ' from his home for even a longer . period. lie usually tries to dash in borne i for 8unday, and oo one of these dashes, !q a certain home, the young man of the fam ily having acq ql red that title some four years previously, was very bad Indeed, and finally forced the father to administer tb . merited, though mild, punishment. The In- ', jured youngster immediately made a wild ' dash for hla mother, walling at the tf-o''. his voice: "Mother, mother, moth-c-f ; that ' man that comes here on Sunday haa been ' spanking me." New York Press. ' John Liked the Hymns. "You know, John was an usher at our church when I met him," said Mrs. Dor cas. "He looked so . handsome and well groomed as he led visitors to seats In the... center alsie that one could not help falling in love with rrtm. As we went In John . shook hands with the . ushers, some y of whom were Sunday school boys wheyf ha was there. He remained behind to talk with them, while I went on to our pew, "When the first hymn was announced' John smiled. He was In ood humor all through the Scriptural readings. When ' the second hymn was announced he be came positively elated. All my fears of his ' sleeping through the sermon vanished. - He sang the closing hymn as fervently as In the good old days. As we came out the head usher shook hands with John, -and I saw John tuck a bill Into his walstccat -pocket. " 'What Is thatr I asksd not without sus picion. " 'Ss-sk-sh, my dear. Walt until we get In the car.' "'What is It, John? I asked a few mo ments later. " 'A fiver I cleaned up from the boys on the number of the hymns,' he replied, smilingly. 1 was 115 behind the game when I quit UBherlng and married you.' "New York Press. ' WILLIAM B. M'KINNET. . tt ft. f