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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 6, 1904)
i Vv 0 i ?0 o i 1 J . .ilk ;ii ; j , MERTCXrJ society women are to study love. And a French woman Is to teach them. Perhaps you might think that the Amirlcan society woman knows all about love, and, judging from the divorce record of the New port colony, they haven't much to learn. But It Is at the request of the Newport group that Marie Petite, the foremost French authority on love, cornea to America to tell our countrymen all she knows about the art. Mme. Petite knows a good many other thlrigs and talks on other subjects to the members of her popular " confer ences " in Paris. But her American friends Insisted that shs make love a feature of her talks while in this country. And here are her ideas as told to a Chicago woman who Interviewed her on the eve of her departure from Paris: " Falling In love is losing the sense of things," says Mme. Marie Petite. " We forget the relatlort of one faot to another; we no longer know what la good, what Is bad. Love Is not to be treated as a sclentlflo subject, with facts. It Is to be Presidential Campaign Postpones Married Bliss BkUCH has been laid at the door of the national T IT 1 political campaign. It has been accused px oe fm I Ing responsible for periods of trade depression, JLVJL I industrial lassitude, and other monetary trou bles. It Is asserted that It makes tne wore man neglect his work to stop and dlsouss the questions of the day, the farmer to leave the Dlow and gather at the corner store to argue A vociferously as to the respective merits of the republican and democratic platforms, and It takes the head of the house away from the bosom of his family and keeps him up late at night in the raw autumn air marching with a torch pver his shoulder or listening to the vocal efforts of the campaign orator. i Altogether It Is asserted that the quadrennial campaign is a bad thing for the oountry at large that it Is a thing we could well dispense with. Now comes another discovery, which may be used as an argument pro and con, according to the disposition of the person, In regard to presidential campaigns. It has Just been discovered, through deep and conscientious delving Into the musty records of the marriage license bureau in the county building, that each time we elect a president the marriage crop of this city la decreased by l,0io oouples. Here is food for reflection to either the ad vocate or the opponent of the eight year presidential term. If there had been no presidential election for the last thirty years there would have been about 7,000 more couples married In this city today. Seven thousand wedded couplet raising the average family of three children would have added at least 20,000 to the present population. Counting the chil dren which the older children of these oouples which were not wedded might have raised, and It Is likely that there would at the present day be no argument as to the claims of the Chicago 2,000,000 club. But this Is all supposition,' and the cold facts are that the marriage licenses fall oft each cam paign year to the number of 1,000. License Clerk Salmxnson has been at the window where Chicago couplts sre authorised to enter the state of wedded bliss for twenty-two years, and he has observed the Influence of national campaigns upon the marriage business too closely . to leave any doubt as to the accuracy of the above figures. Also be has solved to his own and others' satisfaction the reason for It . , " Any tur. i of disturbance shows a decrease In the number of licenses Usued from this window," says be. " Big strikes, catastrophes, or any other occurrence that disturbs the peace and equanimity of the country at large causese a falling off in marriages. National campaigns disturb the country more than any other thing, except a possible war. "People don't marry In time of unsettled conditions. The reason for HT Well, most of the people who get mart-led are. of course, working people. The working man la for the great part a sensible, cautious fellow. He does not want to get married unless he knows that things at large are going to be settled satisfactorily for at least four years after he is married and that he Is going to be sure of a Job. It doesn't make any dlfferenece whether he is making only S10 a week, he wants to anow that hla job la going to be good for aoma t'me after ne takes to himself a wife." The figures show that In the campaign of 1000 there were 17.217 oouploa in this city who decided that they could not wait until the president was elected before they got mar ried. This shows a decrease pf approximately 1,000 from the year previous. In other words, 8,000 young men and women were forced because of political disturbance to keep com pany for another year, l.Ouo young men were forced to con tinue to divide their wages between candy and theater ticket money, 1,000 " love-ln-a-cottag " homes that might have sheltered 1,000 loving oouples were never built, 1.000 angry papas paid (as bills, swelled because Sadie and Tom still had to sit out the long winter evenings under the parental roof. What effect the recent political conflict has had on loving couplea in this city is hard to estimate. However, It la cer tain that there has been large decrease from last year. The year of 110 was the banner year tor the marriage li cense bureau, 22.122 permits to wed being Issued. Estimating from the number Issued up to data, Mr. Salmonsoo, said that there would be between 20.0UO and 21,000 couples married, here this year. Thus will the election of a president cost Chicago 1,000 or 2.0U0 new families. ' regarded with all the Illusion of which nature Is capable. " In Its better sense, fllrtstlon la a foretaste of love. But one who flirts much loses the true taste of the cup of love. Flirtation should be regarded as the lighter dish of love the cavlsre; It gives an appetite without satisfying. But there are different tempei argents there are even those who can live upon caviare! " Tou see vous voyes there art sa many creatures. I may call them, chiefly women, who prefer to fill their time with little Interests, with (creations made out of almost nothing. This la not Imagination, Ho, It Is just as an Ingenious little housekeeper can make a comfortable home and even an elegant appearance, by meant of trifles, of small means, of worthless odds and ends, bits of brae-a-brae, mere toys Mon Dleul How such a woman's life can be made to present a showy appearance! She looks opulent, luxurious, even with out means. Ji ) flirtation a Moon Without Stirs. "And this Is what flirtation Is much show, much excite ment, and all over the least considerable, the most superficial aspects of love. "A woman who flirts think of what she constructs her romance. Nothing but a moon, without even the stars, maybe. Nothing but a recollection of a silvery sea the sea of mere flirtation! And on the desert Island where she lives forever after this romance she has all this dream, this little bundle of souvenirs, this petite rlcheese to herself! In the solitary night henceforth of this ' stuff of dreams ' she may form her revery. " Tet all this while she Is In full possession of her facul ties! Perhaps this Is why the same toy moon literally laughs for half Its months in semi-hldlng; perhaps this Is why the stars blink mockingly at each other! ' " But I am quite the contrary of this. I am not expressing my personal experience. For to me love la different If I should possess all things, the most precious and desirable of the earth, I should not know how to use them hus, to extract from them this sort of airy enjoyment. Voyez-vous, when one has to live In the Imagination what can the most beautiful of realities give one? Ah, does not reality stretch out before you as flat as flat as a stupid plain? O, reality la terribly dull, Je vous assure. " What is the art of winning a lover? Ah, It we could give a rule. It is not so easy as It was when a woman might be versed In philters, and the only problem was to get the man to drink of It No, now we are more subtle. But, per haps the truth is the same. The art of loving much and te art of knowing well the other person do not usually go together, therefore Is the difficulty. As love robs us of our self-poise,' our balance, we lose reason, we are not able to plan, to calculate, to measure the needs, the qualities calmly and act upon them. 1 Stupidity a Siqn of love. "And now how to tell If you fall lit love? Mon Dleu,' comme e'est stuplde! If one speaks conventionally the answer Is something like this: The sky Is bluer, the air sweeter, the birds seem to sing more harmoniously, the fields and the verdure are a dream of green, and all life but, no, I do not know how one knows wheq one falls In love. I have forgotten. " But I should say this: When one becomes quite atupld In the presence of another, when speech Is slow and hard, when one cannot express the smallest thing without fear of ridicule or of hurting the beloved one when, In short, cne appeara less to. advantage than at any other time, this Is the sign ' of really being In love. It is the reason of so many com plexities. How to Judge Man's Sincerity, "And I am asked: How to tell If a man la sincere? Ah, Is not this the impossible? It is not when he looks Into your eyea without blinking rather the contrary. That straight, compelling look be hat learned it in many schools! If he can gase at you steadfastly and ardently without a quaver, be sure that he knows, ak me I too well But let him appear uncouth, fall to answer you, speak at the wrong time, and keep still when he should speak, let him fall to take ad vantage of a chance to do some light thing for your comfort, let htm stand stiff and silent when he should get you a chair .then you may believe that It la he, and. not the other, wha Is sincere. " No, it la not the one who can love the most who Is most attractive. But I think the deep hearted onea who love are, In the long run, the most auccessful, because their love lasts, and they get their Innings In the longer races that love runs, if not In the short spurts. Its JV BurnJivq lhvi& or ELL how a oountry treats Ite wldowt and I will p v I tell you how civilized it la." I I So declarea Charlet Letourneau, general teo JH I retary of the Anthropological society of Paris, who asserts that one or. me signi oi mi worm a progress Is the improvement In the condition of widows. This Indication of the social evolution la a hobby of the famous anthropologist, who bar Just published the result of hla researches. Widowhood, the French savant declarea. la a necessary adjunct to civilisation, and the treatment of bereaved women a comparative though not an abaolute test of enlightenment To begin with, widowhood does not and cannot exist In an archlo sooletles. Some kind of marriage Is a condition prece dent It may not be much of a ceremony, to be sure; It may consist In the bridegroom either purchasing or capturing his bride; but even this is a crude aspiration to social order, a recognition of customs and laws, and is a step ahead of the promiscuity practiced by the Australian Kamllarol. M. Letourneau discusses the status of the widow In all lands and under every condition, and the result of hla re searches is enough to convince any one, he thinks, that la most environments the woman deprived of her lord is an ob ject of commlseeratlon; and this holds true whether that lord Is an Indulgent paymaster to her milliner and dressmaker or a cruel taskmaster who drives her to the fluids. In many savage tribes the condition of the widow Is reg ulated In a simple and, for herself, a sad way. The woman, who has usually been captured or bought by the deceased In hit lifetime. Is not emancipated when the husband dies. She It an asset, belonging to the heir at law. Frequently additional and painful duties are Imposed upon her. For In stance, the Hottentot woman who has beep ao unfortunate aa to aurvlve her master, must out off a finger Joint Merely an Asset In Africa. In equatorial Africa a son Inherit the wives of hla father, but he'vrofesse no filial duties to any of them. Being him self young, and having an eye to ebony loveliness, he treats hla Inherited harem aa an asset simply, and throws It upon the market If his father happen to have been a man. of quality, the women bring good prices, nc matter how old or wrinkled, for It la esteemed by the " common people " a great honor to succeed to the marital privileges of a ahlef. But It la not so eaay In primitive society to dispose 'of juat the ordinary commonplace widow, and to this fact, M. Le tourneau aaya, It due the uxorlaj sacrifices' made upon the tombt of departed spouses. Not caring to be Incumbered with unattached females, society simply has a prescribed way of Immolating them. This Is sometimes a religious cere monial and sometimes It Is not, but it Is prevslent In commu nities wide apart In certain parts of New Zealand to this ay the widow It strangled at the obsequies. - When a king dies at Yourrtba, Africa, four of his wlvee art expected to commit suicide on the samt day. At Ka tunga the chief wife thus Immolates herself, and the eldest ton and principal personages of tha kingdom mutt do the same thing. ' When the king of Pahomey dies a genera! massacre fol lows, his Mdowe playing an Important part as victim. 'Strange aa It may appear today, tha earns custom prevailed la primitive Germany. . gavag In all countries, to whatever rwi tby feelunc. resemble each other and repeat themselves, "How to know If a maa love? When ha begin to think less of himself, grows less egotistical, and, aa I said, forgets mere gallantry. "Though they aay there Is nothing new. the word at woman's love has not been spoken. This may not be new but when It Is spoken it cannot fall to be sincere. But d not believe them Iflthey ask you to tell them what, slnnerely, they would like to hear of the woman's real attitude toward love. They would not like It. They would begin to put phrases Into your mouth; they would take you Into a region where there waa neither air nor space of your days of IS, Heart Needs Be Guarded. "The heart muit not be starred nor Imprisoned, think most women. But I have tried to Impress that I think differently. The Intellect may force the heart Into subjec tion, prevent It from following Its dictates. Women who have not the strength to do this will be sorry when It Is too late. AH thoee late days when they still must be women, all that thne when they would, like to forget that they have hearts, they will be sorry that they have formed the habit of needing love, of awakening It In others. For, as they must not be sincere, but always play at the sincerity of 16. whatever life brings them of change, of insight, the heart Is of necessity hurt In the process of adjustment . "Ah, the poor heart! It must be hidden away In some dark corner of the woman's nature. What would the not give to no longer reel these moments. When she suddenly comes upon this ghost that snared with her all the Joys of love, what pain! She finds rt gasping still, palpitating still, after a long silence. She thought it was forgotten, le pauvre coeurl No, she finds that forgetfulneas has not killed It, for It has a hardy life. Ah, It takes a long time to kill the heart Incredibly long! "Our woman's season is of short duration, and the life of the heart outlasts it. Does a woman cherish illusion when she looks at her face, we wonder? She looks In her mirror, and Bhe la Insensibly touched by time from hour to hour. This habit, does It rob her of recognition, so she can not see the decrepitude which others see ' all too plainly creeping over her? She sees it In other women of ner ac quaintance; is it avoiding her? Tell me why, If you can, should the years spare me and all others about be fading and withering? Live in Imagination's Realm. "Ah, but the tempestuous day of the heart! It is the branch that is ever green, and each year pushes its little buds from the aap of the old, half dead trunk. The new budding Treatment ofWcaOWS1 Countiy v CivilizatioTV Can. Be Tested Among various peoples funeral sacrifices, are replaced by mutilations, more or less voluntary. . Polynesian women cut gashes on their faces and bodies to show theii grief, and yet it is no uncommon sight at Noukahlva to see a creature thus branded with the marks of recent bereavement making merry with foreign Bailors. It is a fact that cannot be gainsaid, according to this writer, that practically all laws, whether spread upon the statute books of advanced peoples or handed down by tradi tions and customs among the heathen all laws governing domestlo relations give the male person a decided advantage. One reason for this no doubt lies in the fact that the male person, under almost every government, makes the laws. In many of the redskin tribes of North America second' marriages are not tolerated until after a long delay, but even where such regulations exist the widower may remarry much sooner than the widow. There are exceptions. Among' the Omaha Indians the husband may not remarry until after a season of mourning extending over a period of seven years unless he buy his freedom rom the aead. wife's people. The price of such release la usually a pony, ' Must Marry Brother's Widow. The natives of the Himalayan Bhootan ar sometimes monogamous, sometimes polygamous, and somstimes polyan drous, and these variations naturally affect widowhood. Amonf the monogamous , and polygamous the widow can marry only after a delay of three years. Of course, In the polyandrous household there can hardly be such, a thing at widowhood. Generally speaking, however, lit such a stata of society the woman marries brothers, but If she do not, then upon the death of one of her husband his eldest brother succeeds to his share of the wife and to his marital rights. This custom, though less refined, Is akin to the old Jewish levlrate, which commanded a man to marry his brother's widow. And under the law the first issue of suoh marriage was considered the son and heir of deceased With the passing of the Hebrew commonwealth the le vlrate, being no longer compulsory, fell Into disuse; at the samt time It Is an Interesting fact, which M. Letourneau points out, that the custom Is widely spread even unto this day, especially among peoples whose code Is a crude Jumble of tradition,. In Melanesia, New Caledonia, the brother-in-law, whether already married or not, must take the widow to wife. It was also, practiced, and Is set to a limited extent, among the aborigines of the western hemisphere, especially the Chlppeways. In Nicaragua the widow, of an Indian be longs to the brother, or, if there b no brother, to the near est male relative. Must Marry Dead Brother's Betrothed. The code of Manu, going a step farther, Imposes the levl rate evto upon the brother of a betrothed mar who dies. This Is far from shocking to even the modern ci'villsed sense. The prince of Wales had an elder brother who was betrothed to his present wife, then princess of Teck. The elder brother died, and lUs scarcely going too far to say that public opin ion In England demanded that the heir to the present king v espouse hi brother'a fiancee. All thia happened less than fifteen years ago, M. Letourneau doea not view the levlrate aa particularly harsh, and he calls attention to the fact that It Is not the -uncivilised people alone who make the widow's portion a hard one. Although on certain sides, he declares, the old Chinese civilization putt the European to shame, It Is back ward in Ita relation to all that concerns widows. The aery tude of 'a Chinese woman Is so extreme that ahe owe ail- . glance first to her parents, then to or husband, and next to her son. Bhe remarries or to sold without being consulted at alL India is not altogether a barbarous country, yet every well Informed person knows of the sacrificing pf woman upon the funeral pyre of her husband. . Within compare- seems to fling to the May that la passing a smile of pity. Tor nothing la more lamentable than thia flowering garment ef love tha4 scarce clothes the crumbling rulna of former beauty. " Still wtlll whllw the season lasts T "Ah, I cannot answer as a woman, but. In the words of Ouy de Maupassant It Is permissible to make a bold affirma tion. For, aa we live In matters of love by the dicta, of men well, here la what he thinks conoernlng this season of love: " ' Then must one love . . . love blindly, without see ing what one loves, for to see is to understand, and to understand is to despise. . . . One must love to Intoxication . . . aa one la drunken with wine, until one no longer knows what he drinks. But drink, drink, even without tak ing breath; drink by duy and by night!' " Here Is the high cry of the lover of the illusion of love. Blind, he believes In beauty, where awake he would deny It You will agree with me that De Maupassant was no pes simist He was a Joyous pagan, not a mystic. "Alas I It haa heretofore been woman's best wisdom not to Imitate man In matters of love. Bo we must live In the realm of the Imagination live in It, not vegetate. The Ideal raises us to a region whence that dearth of love cannot strike us. In the Imagination are visions over which one may dream,. These visions are the betrothal of dream with beauty, tlvely recent times this has been practiced with great pomp and ceremony. In the year 1710 all the wlvis of Prince Mo rava, forty-seven In number, were burnt with his corpse. Savant's Estimate Not Flattering. From the fusion of Chinese doctrines with the gross cus toms pf more pr less barbarous European racee, there result ed for the widow a position of subjection. Among the Ger mans She became the property of her own family ai.d oould be resold, (Ike any other chattel. Strangely enough, the price of a widow waa Just double that paid by her first pur chaser. M. Letourneau concludes from his researches that the fate of the widow haa varied with the matrimonial forma In use, and according to the degree of civilization, but that It ha not always been ameliorated In proportion to he general progress; that laws and customs have ever been kind to the widower, and that the condition of the woman was better even in certain primitive societies than It became later, Traces of ancestral Iniquities are preserve! In the modern code which, though nearly emancipating the widow, push the fanatlolsm of consanguinity so far a not to consider bey the relative of her husband a concern property. From a social polpt of view, he declares, tue whole of his survey of th treatment of widows Is not flattering for humanity. "In short, the easy resignation with which men and Women bear widowhood, place mankind, a regard nobility of sentiment, far below certain species of animals, aa, for example, the Illinois paraquet, for whom widowhood and death are synonymous, as well for the male as fur the fe rr. , a and are the only marriages without discord. " Am I In favnr of love! I and who sra I to be In fa vol of love, or not In favor? What mattera it whether I am for,' love or against It? Would that affect other women, prevent them from placln all their hopea In the love of men? ThJ Andnluslan proverb is right: 'Man Is the tinder, woman lt the fire, and the devil blows upon the flame aa be paste,' Love Depends on Heart's Growth. "As to whether love endures. It Is hard to telL Lor1, must have something new or It cannot last It Is like th constantly changing course of a river. But a river Is too' narrow. It la also like the sea, for It, should have no horUj sens. If love Is to last between two persons it must be ao- cording to the manner In which they change. If 'they growj apart. It cannot be helped. It needs a great effort In most; cases to grow along parallel lines. i " As to jealousy, with which my last answer Is to daallf Jealousy Is only good as a mere tinge In love. Jealousy I one of those strong essences of which a drop too much Is; poison. With too much of this piquant poison of Jealousy the drink of love destroys both love and him who drinks It " But here 1 the woman's great strength. Here Is truth. aitd vet thin truth thn mnn will not vleld to us: he will have ,4Tone of It! It Is the power of suffering. She may have thtkj sione, ana ny mis sne may oecome superior, is it not p ' thetlc? In the whole garden of love only one thing is ours i the bitter flower of pain! " For us women love begins In Joy and ends In pain. But If one must, love with abandon, than with restraint, no matter what happens. And afterward lost Illusions. re- grots, . tears. It Is by these tears that we grow. And why; mind them If we do grow? " Let me end by quoting George Sand: 'One gains every thing thus, for the Joy of love Is like too much light; first It dazzles our eyes, and then afterward It brings tears.' " Views Differ from French Authors. This Is In brief a glimpse of the ethereal view of Mme, Pot He of a few phases of love. It Is hardly the same voice that Is heard In French fiction. It must be remembered that the little voyageuse is a good deal of a cosmopolitan, beside being a rank feminists. I She has entered into the life of the new French woman with ardor, and culls the question a " new religion." '! Our , very nerves," she asserts, " are In a state of growth, of formation, of evolution. We are recreating oureelvta for5 the better use of our new life." Tied to Railroad Track Physician Awaits Doom T the time when the events cook plao whlcl y& I I am about to relate," said the German, " il I was prison physician at the Auburn penlttn Jt S I tlary, and had charge of that part of the prlsoi; which contained the worst class of criminal men, or, rather, human hyenas for when;; bloodshed had ceased to have any terror. Tw of these criminal, condemned to Imprison ment for life, and distinguished not only by great physic strength but by unoommon audacity and cunning, were mor closely watched than the others, on account of their repeatej attempt to escape. I had brought upon myself their prj tlctilar hatred, partly because I once had caused the discovj ery of aome Iron tools which they had succeeded heave: knows how! In concealing under their clothes, and parti; because, on another occasion, I had reported their lllne feigned, when they had demanded to be taken to the hot pltal. The two villains were separated and heavily chained1 but In spite of all precautions, one morning one of them wa,' misting, and a few days later the other had disappeared chains and all, leaving no trace. J " A fortnight might have elapsed since the escape of thjjV two convicts when, one day, I started for Cayuga on aoit '. private business. My errand in the town was soon done, a' toward evening I set out on my homeward Journey, T.'. surrounding country is covered with extensive oak woodijj through which lay a good part of my way. Th tall masslv! trunks threw long shadows across the road, and the breezji murmured so softly in the tree tops that the sound wajj rather felt than heard, ueep in thought, I let my h trot along with slack reins. Suddenly I was startled out my reverie by a noise among the bushes on both side the road. Grasping my revolver I turned quickly, but b tore I knew what was happening I received a terrlflo bio which nearly robbed me or consciousness. Dated, I opone my eyes once more, and thought I saw, as In a dream, on the escaped convicts bending over me; then utter darkn enveloped my soul. " It must have been late in the night when, little by littli my consciousness returned. 'I raised my eyes and saw abov me a bright full moon in a dark blue sky. A dull sensatlo of pressure at the back pf my head caused me to attemr. lifting my hand to the spot where the pain waa located, bi I found that I was bound hand and foot By degree collected my thoughts, and remembered the attack In th woods. An awful intuition darted through my brain, an stopped the beating of my heart. I felt that I lay aoroaa tw sharp parallel elevationa exerting a painful presaure on m body, and aa I strained my ear I beard far beneath me th sound of flowing water. There waa no longer any dout that I lay across the rails on tha Cayuga bridge, bound an unable to atlr, with the certain prospect of being cut Int pieces by the next train. " For one minute my heart stood still, and the next II wild beating was almost audible. One thought waa clear, must change my position, if possible, so as to lie between th rails, if I was not to fall a victim perhaps even next minul to the most painful death. " And I succeeded. I strained every r.iuscls and sins' until they nearly snapped, I twisted and turned, I pantet my head threatened to burst At last, after supsrbuma efforts which seemed to me to have lax ted an eternity, found myself on the ground between the raifs. " Was I saved? I had no time to think or to rejole la new hope, for my entire consciousness was concentrated I the sense of hearing. At first Indistinctly, then mora oiearl; I heard In the distance the regular, monotonous sound of working steam engine. The awful silence of the night gav place to the Incoherent, maddening noise of the Iocomotlvf A thousand feet off 500, all the horrors of hell laid hold & me, but I could not move a muaole. I tried to shout, bt'i could not hear my own voice. The next moment I saw I clear light flashing across me, and was enveloped In a be breeze Then all was dark, ant'. I lost consciousness. " When I awakened I was lying In my bed and saw fr miliar faces around me. I had been found tb followln' morning by an employe of the railroad, who reoognited nil .. V. . . ... . ,. I . . W .. ..I. . A ..I ' I m . . : diiu iiuu uiv iauu imii-k im Aunurn. uuring a , sorimgnt lay between life and death, and when, for the first Urn after my IIIik-sk, l imikej into a mirror, I saw that th feat ful ..ngulsh hud whitened my hair."