The Omaha Illustrated Bee
NUMBER 28L
.
Entered Second Class at Omaha Postoffice Published Weekly bj The Dee Publishing Co. Subscription, $2.50 Ter Year.
OCTOBER 30, 1004.
Gossip and Stories
About
Prominent People
President Roosevelt's New Cabinet Officer
Fame of Wynne
for
Quick Repartee
Wattereoa'a Advice to Wllllnma.
HJOHN SHARP WILLIAMS, demo
cratic leader In the house or rep
resentatives, la striving- manfully
to overcome the fatal habit of
humor, realising that It Is a hand
icap to one who seeks to be regarded as a
eerlous-mlnded statesman.
"Henry Watterson was the first man who
arouaed me to a full sense of the dangers
I was Incurring," says Mr. Williams. "It
was when I began to get my name In the
paper outside of Yazoo City. Watterson
wmrneo ma very soiomniy.
" "Williame,' he said, 'you may havo a
career before you, and If you Intend to
have one you must begin at once to do
what I tell you. You must wrap the mantle
of dignity about you and never let It fall
off again. Be solemn. Never say anything
humoroua, never spring a Joke, never tell
a funny atory.'
"Here he atopped, looked at me seorch
lngly, and concluded, Impressively:
" "But If you must do It, Williams, do It
with a alight nasal twang, so that you may
be auspeoted of New England ancestry.' "
A Lively ( enlrnarlnn.
Jame Bellows McGregor of Northvllle,
N. H., who recently celebrated his 10Sd
birthday, la believed to be the oldest Ma
son In the United States. Five generations
of his family Joined In the celebration.
His 100th anniversary was observed by 700
of the Masonlo fraternity. When above SJ
Mr. McGregor painted the belfry of a
church, climbing to the top to finish the
job. Ilia health la still excellent, his figure
erect, his appetite good and he eala what
he likes. He la a great drinker of coffee,
but never uses -liquor or tobacco. Ha
makes his home with a son and grandchild
In the old house where he was born. Not
long ago he walked to the village s'.ore
with his granddaughter. Alice McGregor,
aged 22 years, and on returning home old
age and youth were obliged to asce"hd a
hill. When the summit had been nearly
reached the centena. Ian turned laughingly
and yet with a serious meaning to his
young companion, remarking: "Am I
walking too fast for you?"
Floe Example of Self Help.
Mayor Collins la a fine example of the
foreign-born boy, who, beginning at some
lowly form of labor, by native talent and
earnest effort rises to tl.e highest station of
honor and responsibility In his home city.
First a breaker boy In the coal mines, then
an upholsterer by trade. Mayor Collins
managed to educate and to fit himself for
the practice of law. ,IIe was sent to con
gress for several successive terms and waa
really the father of the bankruptcy law,
During President Cleveland's administration
he served as consul general' at London.
Although a stanch democrat, many repub
licans In advance of the election had an
nounced their purposo to support and vote
for him for a second term as mayor be
cause of the admirable record he had made
in that office, and Boston Is not a city
where partisanship runs low.
When Jay Gould Kept His Word.
While Jay Gould was superintending the
building of the old Rutland & Washington
railroad, between Rutland, Vt., and Eagle
Bridge, N. Y., In the late summer of 1S52,
-"hla workmen ate all the melona ou prop
erty belonging to a Mrs. Ann Dlneen.
Mrs. Dlneen complained to Gould, but he
disclaimed any responsibility and refused
. to recompense her.
A day or two later Mr. Gould and one or
two of hla englneera were taking a swim
in the Caatleton river, when Mra. Dlneen
appeared on the bank. Gathering up all
the clothes of the bathers the woman mode
a motion as though to throw them into the
water and ahouted: "Will yea pay me for
thim watermllliona now, Mr. Gould?"
The promoter's trousers contained a time
piece worth a large aum of money and other
valuables, so he agreed to settle for the
stolen fruit if ahe would go to his office the
next day. The promise was satisfactory
and Mra. Dlneen retreated in triumph.
Distinguished Vlaltora.
An Official Of the Treasury department
relates In the Saturday Evening Post that
whenever an unknown person of. distin
guished appearance eutera his offlce he. is
reminded of an amusing experience of Mr.
Frank Vanderllp, at one time the private
secretary to Mr. Guge, when that gentle-
man waa at the head of the department
- mentioned.
It appears that Mr. Vanderllp, before he
got well acquainted, paid little attention to
the people he did not know. One day, just
after he had assumed th discharge of his
dutlea, there entered the anteroom a mem
ber of th cabinet whom he had never
met. The distinguished oaller was Ignored
u
m
tx
1
m
for soma time by Mr. Vanderllp; and Anally
entered ' the aecretary' room unan
nounced. Th cabinet officer muat have
mentioned th matter to Mr. Gage, for
shortly Mr. Vanderllp received a repri
mand. The rery next day on of th first per
sons to enter Vanderllp'a room waa a dis
tinguished looking old fellow with a pa
triarchal beard. Bearing In mind hla ex
perience of th day previous. Vanderllp re
ceived th visitor with every mark of con
sideration. As be offered a chair to the
old fellow, who, he observed, accepted it
with gravity and some wonderment, Mr.
Vanderllp sealed himself opposite, and,
with hla moat engaging smile, asked:
"And now, air, what can I do for you
today?" ,
"tih, nothing much," replied the caller.'
"I've Just dropped in to wind the clocks. "
Plays No Favorites.
The unconventional habits of the pope
are still troubling the tradiiiona of the
Vatican. Hla hollnosa baa a great objeo
tlon to the practice of kneeling In hla
presence. He takes care to settle visitors
promptly and comfortably In chairs and
t.ien. to their anuscnient, he niuai,.a stand
ing. There may have been old Uuieu when
pontine ahowed undue favor to their kin
dred. There Is no such thing now. DU
cuaslng with his chamberlain the details
of some ceremony, Plua X waa reminded
that hla two sisters, who live In Home,
would like to be present What sea is
should b assigned to them? "Seats!" said
the. pops, with a amlle. "Oh, dear, not
Bend tickets of admission and let them
lake their chaneea."
Rare Taet of Ueneral Plumer.
"General Plumer la noted tor hla tact In
dealing with colonial troops," aaya T. P.
OCounor in M. A. P.. "and I recently
heard of an Incident during the Boer war
In which this quality was -severely tested.
"One day In camn a cartieuUriv !.,., i.
f roposJUuu' itt aa AastraUatv newly scut
i
up from the base, got hold of some liquor
and speedily became mad drunk. Raving
and roaring about the camp, the Australian
came upon General Plutner, standing spick
and span at the door of his tent, and, ut
tering some ribald abuse, rushed at th
general and struck him a heavy blow on
the chest before anyone could Intervene.
"I need hardly say that such an offens
was punishable by death, ' but General
Plumer merely said to the onlookers who
rushed up:
"'Oh, take him away; he's drunk and
doesn't know what he'a doing.'
"And that was all the notice the general
took of the affair. . But the delinquent's
comrades were not so lenient."
Aa Apoatle of Initolrncr.
Ex-Senator Ransom of North Carolina,
who died a few years ago, used to be
known aa on of the most indolent member
of the oenate, as well as one of the most
popular. It used to be said of him that
he was never seen to 'open his letters even
or to read the newspapers. His nomina
tion by President Cleveland aa minister to
Mexico In ISM waa attended by a peculiar
complication. He waa nominated while
still . senator, and the nomination wa
confirmed and the commission Issued. It
was discovered later that, during Ran
som's term, congress had Increased
the pay of United States ministers abroad.
Aa there is a provision In the constltutioa
prohibiting appointments of congressmen to
offices whose emoluments had been raised
during thoir legislative service, President
Cleveland bad to nominate Mr. Ransom a
second time and the senate had to repeat
the vote of confirmation.
Bared by a Tip.
Aa th Atlantic liner Cedrio was about to
sail from New York the other day th
ship's steward Informed the purser that
Mr. Morgan had given orders to be notified
five minute before the gang plank was to
be hauled In. "And who the deuce la Mor
gan?" asked the purser. "Bllmed if I
know," ' answered the steward, hurrying;
away. Just then he aaw an official of th
line and learned from him who Mr. Mor
gan Is. With a frightened look he dashed
back to the purser and whispered: "Oh, I
say, Mr. Purser, I've Just 'eard 'o this 'ere
Mr. Morgan Is. Blessed If he ain't th
hnwner of the bloomln ship Plerpont Mor
gan, you know." The purser was careful
to give Mr. Morgan the desired informa
tion. " .
Some Tersely Told Tales Both Grim
Slow Pace the Safest.
1AUNCKY DEPEW credits one of
I f I bis latest stories to an employe of
V J the Vanderbllt lines who once at
tended an old-fashioned camp
meeting. The brethren and sisters
were giving their experiences, each In the
language of his own craft- First a Bailor
got up and told how he was going to heaven
at the rate of twenty knots an hour,' be
fore a fair wind. He waa followed by a
railroad man, who told how he waa on the
way to heaven on a perfectly ballasted
track, behind the newest type of engine.,
and waa making sixty miles an hour, In
cluding stops. Finally a decrepit old woman
got up.
"Brothers and sisters." ah said, "I have
been walking there for the last twenty
years, and my rheumatism Is so bad that
I can't walk very fast. But, brothers and
alsters, let some of these fast goers look
out or I'll get there first. They may bust
their b'llers If they crowd on too much
steam." New York Times.
The Retort Inferential.
Oscar S. Straus of New York, formerly
Minister to Turkey, tells this atory of
Rabbi Hlrsch of Chicago:
One day, in a crowded atreet car, th
Tabbl arose to give his seat to a young
woman who had Just entered. Much to
the Jewish divlne'a disgust a young man
acrambled into the seat before the lady
could avail herself of It For some mo
ments the rabbi glared at the offender In
a way that clearly showed hla displeasure, '
but he said nothing.
Finally th rude young man, growing
restless under th keen glance of th He
brew, said:
"Wot ar yer atarln' at m fort Look
aa if you'd like to eat me!"
"I'm forbidden to do that," quietly re
sponded Rabbi Hlrsch; "I am a Jew."
Saturday Evening Post
She Tanabt Hint Taet.
Th late Louis Fleischmann, the million
aire baker, not only distributed food to
poor men in the "bread line" he had estab
lished In this city, but be also got. thee
men employment. H . went among them
Nebraska
5
rT'M.'v
and conversed with them, and the delicacy
of his questions to them, the care he took
not to hurt their feelings, was remarkable.
One day he sold:
"The more unfortunate and wretched peo
ple are the more sensitive they are the
more easily they are wounded. The public
does not bear this fact in mind.
"And yet it is a fact that Is continually
being proved sometimes pathetically, some
times humorously. It was proved humor
ously to a friend of mine lost summer In
Scotland.
"He was making a walking tour. He was
climbing mountains and viewing lakes and
torrents. One morning on a quiet road he
met a young woman, tall and comely, who
walked barefoot.
"Surprised, my friend stopped the young
woman and said:
" 'Do all the people hereabouts go bare
foot r '
"She answered:
" 'Some of them do, and the rest mind
their own business.' "New York Tribune.
TheMn7lt.
Congressman O'Neill, now deceased, who
represented one of the Philadelphia districts
In congress for many years, used to tell a
atory regarding two friends of hi who
were carpenters. These men led very good
lives, but, unfortunately, they were ad
dicted to the habit of profanity. One
morning, In a sincere desire to cure them
selves of the bad trait, they resolved that
no matter what happened during the day,
they would abstain from Indecent lan
guage. After they had been working for
about an hour the first man accidentally
dropped his hammer, and It fell on bis foot,
bruising It very severely.
"Ouch I" waa hia only exclamation. He
made a eour face, and then continued with
hla work.
Thlnga went well for about another hour,
when, happening to be In conversation with
his friend, the hammer slipped, and he
dealt bla thumb a terrlflo blow.
"By Jlmlnyl" waa bla exclamation; but
' that waa all. He wa a hero, and deter
mined to keep the compact.
They bad about finished the day'a work,
and were walking under a acaffolding,
State Bankers' Association
LEADING BANKERS OF. NEBRASKA
i 4? i vf p. Jv
-A
t
A
POSTMASTER GENERAL ROBERT J. WYNNE.
when the unfortunate carpenter, forgetting
to bend, struck his forehead a severe blow
on the end of a Joist It cut the skin and
tore away part of his hair.
He stepped aside, and for the next three
minutes the air was. blue. His friend lis
tened with an amused 'smile, and then
said:
"How about your agreement?"
"Well," was his response, "I didn't mind
mashing my toe and thumb, but when
they tried to take my scalp it was time
to protest" Harper's Weekly.
Why He Doubted It.
Timothy L. Woodruff of New York tells
the atory of an old chap In business In a
town not far from Buffalo who recently
discovered one morning that his safe was
out of order, and telegraphed to the maker
In Buffalo to send down an expert
When the man arrived he discovered that
the vault, which was an old fashioned af
fair and locked with a key, could not be
opened. After a hasty examination, the
expert took a piece of wire and began to
dig out a mass of dust and lint from the
key. He then opened the stfe as quickly
aa one could desire. With a sickly smile
the old merchant meekly asked:
"What's the charge?"
"Twenty-five dollars," was the reply.
"Does any one know you're in town?"
"None save yourself."
"Then here's fifty. You will do me a
favor If you'll get out of town by the first
train. If any one knew that I had paid a
man 2& to dig the dirt out of a key for
me I'd never do another dollar's worth of
business In this part of the state." New
York World.
Humors ot a Cnmaplgn.
General Rock wood Hoar relates an amua
lng Instance of the humors of a political
campaign. It appears that a year ago,
during the campaign for the re-election
of Governor Bates and Lieutenant Gov
ernor Guild, portraits of those candidates,
as well aa those of the opposite party, were
to be aeen posted all through the state of
Massachusetts.
The rival billposter must have been In
great hast each to outdo the other, for It
Assembled in Convention
- '"- JTri ' -z-nr-
n2
IN ATTENDANCE ON THEUi ME1WINO
, - s v ; t. V
'.' f
would seem that they were not always
careful where they put their pictures.
While passing through Haverhill one day
the candidates were greatly disconcerted
to observe their portraits pasted on one
billboard over a lithograph announcing a
theatrical attraction. Under the counter
feit presentments of the candidates were
the words: "Vote for Bates and Guild."
The portion of the theatrical lithograph
not covered by the political portraits bore
the legend: "The greatest vaudevlllo team
on earth," New York Herald.
Losses Were Slight.
W. A. Wright, Insurance commissioner
of Georgia, attended recently an insurance
men's banquet in Atlanta.
"The president of an insurance company,"
he said, "once told me that. If you were
interested in fire Insurance, you were
amazed at the carelessness and the dis
regard of fire precautions to be found
everywhere, and If you were interested In
life Insurance it seemed as though men and
women did not value their own nor their
neighbors' lives at a picayune. You got,
he said, a new point of view on fire and
death when you were financially interested
in those calamities.
. "He added that it seemed to Insurance
men as though mankind regaided conflagra
tion and mortality much as the woman on
the river bank regarded her children's
drowning as a matter of course, not worth
fighting against or grieving over.
"This woman lived on the bunk of a swift
and deep stream. The stream flowed past
her back door, and on the bank her children
played.
"A traveler passed in his boat one day
and was appalled at the rink the little
children ran.
" 'Madam,' he shouted to their mother,
'aren't you afraid to let your children play
ao near the stream?
" 'Oh, no said the woman Indifferently.
'Oh, no."
" 'Have you lived here long, madam?' th
traveler pursued.
" 'Yes, a good many years,' said she.
" 'Well, I should think that, with th
river ao near, you would, live In oonstant
for Discussion of Mutual
UV !
AX OUAJIA.Pboto by a Staff AxUst
IOBERT J. WYNNK, the new post
master general, is a newspaper
man In every sense of the word.
He Is not a Journalist, mark you,
for there is a vast distinction be
tween a Journalist and a newspaper man.
Wynne is a Simon pure, all-wool-and-a-yard-wlde
gatherer of news, and la proud
of the position which he held among the
corps of Washington newspaper corre
spondents before he became first assistant
postmaster general.
For twenty-five or thirty years he ha
been a resident of Washington and In that
time has been telegraph operator, news
paper man, private secretary, first assist
ant postmaster general, and now a member
of President Roosevelt's cabinet.
Robert J. Wynne Is Intolerant of ahams
and vicious with bores. He Is generous with
lils friends and Implacable with his Tfoes.
He sees through a proposition with rap
idity. Ha Is keen of perception, clever
in analysis a doer and not a dreamer. He
Is big and hearty and being an Irishman,
his father and mother having been born
on the "auld sod," he la brilliant of wit
and keen In repartee. His Interruptions of
famous men who have been the guests of
the Gridiron club have brought him a na
tional reputation as bon vlvant He Is a
splendid atory teller and a fairly good
after dinner talker. He doesn't lay much
stress upon this latter accomplishment,
however, because he would rather let th
other fellow do the talking while he will
make the Interruptions. He Is an Interna
hater of wrong and as for "grafters," hs
hates themjMJ the devil hates holy water.
It was Wynne who started the postofftc
Investigation and It was his pugnacity
which resulted In the conviction of a num
ber fit grafters In the Postoffice depart
ment and the dismissal of many other
from that service.
One on an Ex-Actor ConsmasisB.
When "Bob" Wynne Is in action at a
Gridiron dinner he la a foe much to be
feared by the stupid man or the pompous
one. At one of these dlnnera Julius Kahn
of California, ex-congressman and ex
actor, was a guest. Kahn, who has a
traglo voice and a still mora tragic air,
rising to respond to a toast, began his
speech In this wise:
"Of course many of you do not know that
I was on the stage"
At this instant Mr. Wynne remarked In
and Gay
fear that some of your little ones would be
drowned.' . . , .
" 'Oh, no,' said th woman; 'we have only
lost three or four in that way.' "t-Kangaa
City Journal.
The Archblshoy'a Saggeetloa.
The late Archbishop ' Corrlgan waa on
of. the gentlest of men, but when It ' waa
necessary to' reprove any ''one under his"
charge, whether it be priest, or layman, he
never hesitated to do so. , At one time there
was a vacancy In the rectorship of one of
the large churches In New York City, and
several clergymen were talked about for
the position. Two prominent' women who
were members of the church called upon
the archbishop and urged the selection of
one of their clerical friends. As they were
leaving one woman turned to th other and
said, impressively:
"When you get horn pray that th Holy
Ghost may give the archbishop th grac
to appoint the right man."
Like a flash the archbishop turned around
and aald, in Icy tones: '
"While you are at it. ask the Holy Ghost
to give women the grac to attend to their
own business." Harper's Weekly.
A WhUner Story
Clyde Fitch, after a long stay In Switzer
land, has returned to his country house at
North Cos-Cob, Conn, He said there the
other day:
"Anecdotes of Whistler are still turning
up. Europe, from one end to th other,
still hums with the dead American paint
er's name. But It was In Paris that I
heard the best Whistler story.
"They told me that Whistler was In Paris
at the time of the coronation of the king
of England and on evening, at a recep
tion at the Hotel Ritz, a duchess said to
him:
" 'Do you know King Edward, Mr. Whis
tler r
" 'No, madam,' aald th painter.
"She looked surprised.
" "Why, that is odd,' she murmured. 1
met the king at a dinner party last year
and he aald that he knew you.'
" 'Oh,' aald Whistler, 'that was only his
brag.' " Nw York Tribune.
Interests
r
i
Li .i
a vote that could be beard all over th
dining room:
"Who did you drive for?" and Kahn has
still to answer. He was down and out
A Tilt with Speaker Henderson.
Speaker Henderson probably never ran
up against aa hard a game as the mem
bers of the Gridiron club put up for him
during the campaign for speaker In th
fifty-fourth congresa. Henderson In th
course of hla speech at one of the club
dinners during that congress bemoaned th
fact that he could not be elected speaker,
protesting that he had done everything to
bring about such a condition.
"Why,, do you know," he said, address
ing the 'members ot the club, who are all
newspaper men, "I have spent an hour
very evening on Newspaper row."
"Yea, and that Is all you ' did spend,"
aid Mr. Wynne, and Colonel Henderson
never finished hla speech that he had been
laboring upon for daya beforehand. Th
applause which followed this sally could
be heard in McPherson square. ' t . '.
How Wynne Dot Ilia Title,
Untlll Mr. Wynne went Into the Post
office department aa first assistant post
master general and thereby assumed the '
title of "general," which always goes wjt'i
the place, he waa often called "Colonel'?
Wynne. This came about
In arcouliarly;
Wynne way. J'
A few years ago ha Js subpoenaed In
a land suit, the subpofiia being mad out
to "Colonel Robert JiWynne." The lawyer
opposed to the sldeVor which Wynne waa
testifying began tl badger the present
postmaster general
"I see by the siibpoena you ar called
"Colonel Wynne," the aald.
"Yea," Wynne rfplled.
"Hav you vr.4iad any military experi
ence?" i
"No.- g'
"Then," reared th lawyer, shaking his
finger at tie witness, "how doea It coma
that you are posing as a colonel?"
"I am ot responsible for the way aub-t
poena Jr made out," aald Wynne. Then
ha turtftid to the court and said: "But I
submit, your honor, that when a man has -lived
in Washington for twenty-five years
he Is entitled to some sort of ytl."
The Judge gave it to him then and there.
Getting a Pall with Foster.
Postmaster General Wynne knows the
1ns and outa of the government better than
most men. He has been prowling about
the departments and knocking elbows with,
the big and little fellows who run the gov
ernment for a 'decade. It was while he
waa associated with General Henry V.
Boynton, the brilliant correspondent of the
old Cincinnati Commercial Gazette, that
he left newspaper work for a while to take
a Job under the government When Foster
of Ohio was mad secretary of th tr
ury by President Haralson he cast about
for a private secretary. Somebody told
him of Wynne, commending him as a maa
who knew much of the operations of that
great department of the government Fos
ter sent for Wynne. He looked him over.
"Do you know the functions of e private
aecretary?" asked Fostan, V
"Perfectly." : t . .,
'What ar they
'To aee that you get the - credit when
thlnga go right and to take the blame
when thlnga go wrong."
' "Young man," said Foster, enthutrlaatlo-
ally, "you ar engaged,
' Wynne served with Foster during hist en
tire term. He remained with Carlisle a
months when Cleveland came In the aecond
time and then went back to his newspap
work.
Something; Marhen Learned.
During the trial of Machen, whose indict
ment and subaequent conviction Wynne was
largely Instrumental In bringing about, he
was called aa a witness for the govern
ment Machen's attorney, Charles Doug
laa, was conducting the cross-examination
of Mr. Wynne. In thunderous tones he
asked the then first assistant postmaster
general: . .
"Why did you put suoh trust In Macfcsn.f
"Because I thought he knew hla busi
ness," answered Mr. Wynne. '
"Did he know you knew your business?"
again thundered the attorney for Machen,
'"Well, be knows It now," - quietly re,
aponded Mr. Wynne, to tit embarrass
ment of Mr. Douglas and th enjoyment of
the spectators.
Wynne's Golden Hale. '
Wynne has a habit of relating a story '
when he wanta to bring out some point' la
the course of his conversation. The other
day a friend went Into the postmaster gen
eral'a apartmente to congratulate him upon
hla deserved promotion. Incidentally re
marking. "Have you heard anything from
your enemies?"
"No, I haven't" Wynne replied, "whlcH
reminds mo of a story. A president of ft
South American country waa on his death
bed. Realizing that hla time waa short he
called In a prleet. to whom he desired to
confess snd from whom he would receive
his last sacrament. The dying man tola
everything to the prieat that was to be
told, when the priest said, But you have
said nothing about your enemies. Unless
you forgive your enemlee you cennot hope
for forgiveness.'
" 1 have no enemies.' replied the head of
the South American country.
" 'You have no enemies,' Interrogated the
man of God.
" 'No. father, I have had them all shot
".And thst Is the wv with mv (nemles,"
aald Mr. Wynne. "They are all dismissed
from the publlo service, some under , In
dictment and the rest going to Jail."
E. C. 8.
Pointed Paragraphs
The road to stirpes seems to be ahy of
rapid-transit facilities.
The best actress gets the moat flowers
If she buys them.
Many an obese man haa lost flesh by
trying to shave himself.
Might In attempting to make right fre
quently bungles the "Job.
Some men no sooner get a Job than they
begin to kink for a day off.
Every man favora honest government aa
lung aa it doesn't interfere with bis inter
ests. Many an author'a heaviest literary work
consists of an effort to sell what ho lias
written.
When a girl begins to clip th "hints
to housewives" from the papera It Indi
cates which wsy th gentl aephyrs ar
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