THE CtttAHA DAILY BEE: FIUDAY. JULY 22, 1004.
4
Tiie Omaha Daily Bee.
E. ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
PUBLISHED EVERT MOBNINO.
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Dally Hm (without 8unW. Otw lear.-R.
Ially Be and Sunday, One Year 6 01
Illustrated Boo. On Tear 2 09
Sunday B, Oni Year... 2-91'
Saturday Bee, On Year 1W
Twentieth Century Parmer, One Tear.. LOO
DELrvT.RED BT CARRIER,
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Daily Bea (without Sunday), per week...l2o
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Sunday Bee, per copy fe
Kvenlng Bee (without Sunday), ter week. 7o
Evening Bee (Including Sunday), per
wrrk Ua
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OFFICES.
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and M Streets.
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. tXiVtRESPONDENCVi.
Communis Mion relatlnlr to news and edi
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Bee, Edlterlal Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, express or postal order,
payable to The Bee Publishing Company,
Only t-cent stamp received In payment of
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THE BEB PUBLISHING COMPANY.
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County, '
George B. Tuachuck, aecretary of The Bea
Publishing Oompanv, belr.g duly sworn,
says that tlla actual number of full and
complete Copies of The Daily, Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the
month of June, 1004, was as follows:
1 Jin4ftO 16 20.430
2 Z,7SB 17 8W.5H0
I ...20.T20 18 jrn.HBO
4 20,T30 19 2,120
6 8OTB0 90 Srt,070
.H9.T80 a 21,T40
7 JH,T0 21 JW.TOO
8 80,700 2J. 24I.7VO
20,000 24 80,940
10 .S,40O 26 ItO.TUO
J I ..30,023 24 27,775
11 2,HKO 27 BO.llO
It 80,000 28 8O.UH0
14 20,030 29 :.....21BO
11 vBO,110 80 211,770
Total. .S HH.OsKJ
Less unsold and returned coplea.... t,71
Net total sales.';;..,'...;..' 878,878
Dally average ........t 20,112
GEO. B. TZSCHUCK.
Subscrlled In my presence aud sworn to
before me this HOtli (Uy of June. A. D. 1904.
(Seal)-. U. B. 11UNOATE,
Notary Public.
THE BEB will be mailed npon request
to subscribers leaving? the city
during the' " lunnner months.
Changes of ajdUreaa. will be mavde
s frequently a desired notices
of snch change most give both
the old and new ' addresses, "
City Clerk Elboum la still In the cir
rus ring, but It la not likely to be a
continuous performance.
The circus pass in munieipul poll
tics may be just as bad, in proportion,
as the railroad puss in national or state
politics.
And just think It might all have been
settled without a strike at all I But that
would have saved the country a few
millions.
this Is the time for the Heal Estate
exchange, through the tax committee,
to.g to the front ugaln for . Douglas
rerdicarls now wants,' to make Ral
Bouli ruler of Morocco, but; the amount
of rebate he is to receive on that $75,000
is not announced.
Democratic politicians talking about
who is to be chairman of the natlonul
committee are thinking about who is to
distribute the sinews of war.
Eastern democrats would be pleased It
some method could be devised to elimi
nate Mr. Bryan from thei campaign and
not lot the western democrats know it.
The almost total absence of turbu
lence and disorder at South Omaha dnr
Ing the strike is another cause for con
gratulation and must be a source of
pride to the strikers as well.
It is reported from Bt. Petersburg that
Russln' will probably release the British
merchantman seised In the Red sea.
The bear may try. to rob tho bee-hive,
but he balks at fighting the Hon.
Now that the. piicklng house strike is
over, the price, of , .beef and mutton
should take a tumble and spring chick
rns should be allowed to roost without
fear1 gud trembling for their Uvea.
With its unexcelfod auditorium facili
ties,' Omaha ought to be in the lead for
location of a lot of big conventions of
great national organizations. But we
wop't get them unless we go after them.
Judge I'arker soya he voted for Wil
liam 'J. Bryan troth times he ran for
president, 1iui should he bo elected it la
uot believed he will Insist upon his ap
pointees proving up as "regular" as that
"ltrltxT.v" Is said to be the paramount
Issue In Missouri this yeur. If all re
ports are to be believed It lias been the
paramount Issue there in many cam
paigns, but was not always . discussed
hi the opeu.
The expects 4s beginning to happen
down at St. Louis. The Exposition com
pany has tiled thirty-five suits hi the
lower courts against delinquent sub
scribers to its stock with several thou
sand more to follow.
The settlement of the meat packers'
strike the day after the publication of
the fact that representative- of the De
partment of Commerce and Labor had
begun an official Investigation of the
subject is one Of those apparent eoim-1
rtences which may repay further con
sideration.
The peaceful settlement of the meat
packers strike will relieve Judge Mun
ger from enforcing the temporary re
straining order that prohibited a greater
number than two working men from
congregating lu any one spot on the
streets of South Omaha. This injunc
tion naturally suggests the query of
Macbeth's witches "When shall we
4ire meat agaiaf
n ""
. ,
. . rvstos. :.
Nebraska democrats and populists are
afialn undergoing the preliminary labor
pains of fusion. Conditions that have
estranged the two wings of the "allied
reform forces" in the field of natlounl
politics have led some too Inquisitive
populist Ic partisans to inquire why If
they are .no longer good enough to be
bedfellows with the democrats on a
presidential ticket the latter should want
to sleep with them again on a Journey
with the state house as.lt destination.
The Bee has been asked why In the
Interest of republican success it is not
doing more to encourage the demo-pops
in their manifest disposition to break
away from one another. We do not be
lieve they need any encouragement In
this direction from republican sources.
Wall street influences have been snfll
clontly potent to put the Parkerltes on
top at Kt. Lonls; they will be exerted
in the same degree to hold the demo
crats in line for the electoral ticket in
Nebraska, but the popullsta cannot in
self-respect enlist under thla Wall street
banner.
On state offices there is no more rea
son for demo-pop fuston than on the na
tional ticket, except that the opportunity
exists from promising a division of
tho spolla and giving the promise
tin assurance of redemption in the
event of winning out at tho ' polls.
Whether fusion is effected , at once
in state convention or two tick
els are put in nomination to be welded
together later by pressure from the
lenders and action of the committees
makes no difference to the republicans.
Nebraska republicans may as well make
up their minds to wage a campaign
based on the expectation of the samo
combined opposition they have had to
meet In the past, although with reason
able expectation of substantial acces
sions from tho intelligent democrats and
populists disgusted with the programs
their respective parties have adopted.
The idea that the people can be fooled
by labelling a candldute twice over and
sailing him under two flags has been
exploded long ago In this state. If the
political promoters in control of tho fu
sion machinery want to fool themselves
again they are at liberty to do so.
. RELEASE CP MRS. MAYBRICK.
The release of the famous prisoner,
Mrs. Florence Maybrlck, brings to an
cud one of the most celebrated criminal
cases in the history of England aud will
cause a feeling of gratification to a great
number of Americans who have sympa
thized with the unfortunate woman, in
the sincere belief that she was unjustly
convicted. This belief hus found war
rant lu the fact that a majority of the
lawyers aud judges of England, includ
ing the late chief justice, Lord Russell,
one of the ablest of British Jurists, were
convinced that Mrs. Maybrlck was In
nocent and that her conviction was due.
to the, prejudice: of the Judge before
whom she was tried and who later died
In a madhouse.
The ,. much-vaunted British , Justice
gained no prestige from the conrlcttou
and long Imprisonment of this Ameri
can woman and her release after six
teen years of Incarceration reflects no
credit upon the BrltlRh authorities. It
Is virtually a confession that sho was
guiltless, or at least thnt the evidence
did not establish guilt, but this should
have been acknowledged long ago and
the woman relieved from the mental and
physical suffering which she has under
gone and for which there is no redresB.
Our diplomatic representatives in Lon
don have labored persistently In behalf
of Mrs. Maybrlck, but it is said that her
release Is largely dye to the efforts of
a lady of the English nobility who from
personal association with Mrs, Maybrlck
had taken a strong Interest in the case.
It is also said that King Edward wan
induced to exert his Influence in behalf
of the unfortunate woman.
THE RED SEA SEIZURES.
It is not probable that any very seri
ous complications will result from tho
course of RubbIh In the Red sea. There
is, it appears, no controversy in regard
to the light of search, though it may be
found necessary to require some modifi
cation in the exercise ef this right. The
Russian government contends that It
is within its rights, under international
law, in doing what it has done, and It
must be admitted thnt It has precedent
on its side, but there are limitations aud
it is not quite certain that these have
been observed by the Russian command
ers of the so-called volunteer, ships that
came through the Dardanelles under the
pretense of being merchant vessels and
are operating In the Red sea as war
ships. . . . v -
Heart h is one thing and seizure an
other, and while it may be easy to Jus
tify the former it is difficult to 'satis
factorily defend .the. latter, . The objec
tion made In England to seizure is
based on substantial grounds" and we
are mnch mistaken if the British gov
ernment does not have universal ac
quiescence nud sympathy in the event
of Its entering a protest and taking rig
orous measures to prevent any further
seissure of British vessels by the Rus
sians. , That J8 a matter which if per!
sisted In might very well warrant Great
Britain In sending a fleet to the Red
sea for the protection of its merchant
vessels, with Instructions to Are on any
Russian warship that should attempt to
take possession of a British vessel. Such
a course could not fairly be regarded as
a warlike proceeding, but even if Rus
sia were disposed to view It as such
It is not to tie doubted that all the neu
tral powers would side with Great Brit
ain.' The passage of the Dardanelles by ves
sels of tiie so-called volunteer fleet of
Russia Is a matter which the powers
should hold Turkey responsible for.
While it seems to be clearly a violation
of the treaty of Paris the real blame
for this la with tit Turkish government
and it is manifestly the duty of the na
tlons concerned, to demand of that gov
ernment an explanation and to Insist
that no furtner violation of the treaty
be permitted. The Russian statement
in regard to this is by no means satis
factory, tmt it is natural that Russia
should avail herself of any exense for
getting her vessels out of the Black sea.
By the treaty of Paris the Dardanelles
were absolutely closed to vessels of war
and tho duty of enforcing thla was im
posed npon the Turkish government. If
It has been recreant to this obligation
it should bo held to a strict accountability.
A KEYSOTE FOR Pf)LlTICAL RE
FORMERS. The nomination of Joseph W. Folk as
gubernatorial candidate of the Missouri
democracy Is distinctly a triumph for
the moral forces that make for gooi
government. The career of Mr. Folk
as public prosecutor has not only mado
bribe-giving and bribe-taking odious in
St Louis and Missouri, but has riveted
the attention of the whole country upon
the cancer gnawing at the vtals of the
republic and sapping the foundations of
government by the people. The keynote
of genuine political reform has been
sounded in the platform declaration (of
the convention that nominated Joseph
W. Folk in spite of the strenuous opposi
tion of the elements that thrive by cor
ruption. Tersely summarized, the Folk platform
Is a declaration of unrelenting warfare
against corruption and bribery in public
office in whatever form and in whatever
party it may appear. In order to make
the punishment of bribe-takers swift
and sure the laws are to be amended so
as to compel witnesses to bribery trans
actions to testify, and to relieve them
from prosecution by reason of any testi
mony they may give. Experience has
shown that the charge of bribery is a
most difficult one to establish when both
parties to the transaction are equally
culpable under the law and both can
shield themselves by refusing to answer
any questions that might tend to in
criminate themselves.
To suppress bribery of public office
and legislatures there must be the sup
pression of the Incentive for giving and
taking bribes. With this end in view
the Folk platform favors the enactment
of Inws making null and void all fran
chises obtained by corruption. . If, for
example, such a law were enacted in
Nebraska and strictly enforced, how
many franchises would hold-water In
the courts?
The most insidious form of bribery
known in this country is the railroad
pass, which is used almost always as
the entering wedge for corrupting mem
bers of the legislature and public offi
cials generally, and the Folk platform
Is eminently sound In demanding the
abolition of this form of bribery.
But legislative bribe-taking in various
forms is- not the only corrupting agency
that demoralizes our lawmakers. Leg
islative blackmail levied upon various
interests is equally reprehensible and
criminal. These evils the Folk platform
attacks by pledging the governor to pro J
tect all Interests from sand-bagging
measures, to see that equal Justice is
done to all, and that special privileges
are given to none.
The most telling blow at legislative
corruption is embodied in the plank that
declares in favor of the passage of laws
making professional lobbying in the leg
islature a felony. Such a law is not
only Imperatively demanded for the pro
tection of the people of Missouri, but
also for the protection of the citizens of
every state in the union. The man who
hires himself out to Influence corruptly
the representatives of the people is moro
dangerous to tho country than the bur;
glar or the highwayman. The man who
distributes poison at the well springs of
popular self-government is no better
than the anarchist who seeks to destroy
government by main force.
The ruction between City Clerk El
bourn, Mayor Moores, License Inspector
Scott and President of the Council Zlm
man, over the issue of circus licenses
and sideshow fees will probably culmin
ate in a revision of the ordinance pre
scribing the license fees for circuses and
other shows. The maximum charge for
circus licenses was fixed some years ago
at $300, not so much with a view to
raising more revenue for the schools,
as to keep circuses away from Omaha
altogether. This policy commends Itself
to Omaha business men and in fact to
all classes who are interested in keep
ing the savings of wage- earners in
Omaha. Every full fledged circus that
exhibits in Omaha takes away from
(10,000 to $20,000 and the bulk of this
money comes from' men and women who
are obliged to work for their living. On
the other hand, the circus with its hous
ing and feeding facilities on wheels dis
tributes very little of the money It takes
In except for blllpostlng, advertising and
license fees. From a purely selfish
standpoint The Bee would like to see
as many of these exhibitions as possible.
From the standpoint of local patriotism
it would vote for a prohibitive tariff,
and we feel sure the business men of
Omaha would express their opinions by
the same sign.
The seizure of a British ship In the
Red sea is causing the British public
to have a fit. John Bull is a choleric old
gentleman anyway and has been so long
used to the Russian policy of pin pricks
along the Indian frontier, and the sleep
less nights caused by the devious paths
of Russian diplomacy in the east that
be is ultra-sensitive in regard to Russja.
As the traditional enemy of his country,
be is ready to suspect Russia of almost
anything, but fortunately the govern
ment is not so hot headed. It has Just
had one war. and it's not paid for yet.
It doesn't want another one. But if it's
forced on them
Every cloud has its silver lining. Ac
cording to the Chicago Tribune the re
duction of the wages of the operatives
in the Fall River mills haa Its bright
sldo. The manufacturers will bo able
to offer their goods at prices which will
appeal to the consumer and the mills
will be able to run full time Instead of
half time The shady side of the trans
action is, however, that wage -reduc
tion reduces the circulation of money
among the retail merchants, and that In
turn tends to reduce the number and In
come of their employes, with a corre
sponding effect on the whole commer
cial fabric.
An exchange reminds us that Just
thirty years ago grasshoppers were fly
ing over Nebraska In immense numbers,
threatening everything In the nature of
growing vegetation. But the grasshop
per days are over apparently for good.
The only wonder Is' that they didn't
wait until the . state was blossoming
from border to border like a garden as
It Is today and enjoy' a meal of more
varied quality and inexhaustible quan
tity. The public spirit of the railroad tax
agent who has gone to so much trouble
to make sure that the land of the farm
ers along the right-of-way Is not under
assessed is duly appreciated. His good
intentions, however, would be better
certified if he would help the state board
to get at a more occurate valuation of the
other railroads In Nebraska If not of
his own. ,,!
The fight in Missouri Is not so much
between republicans and democrats as
between the forces which make for good,
honest government and the elements
which thrive on boodliug aud corrup
tion. The better class of both parties
will unite to make the nomination of
Polk the beginning f the end of cor
ruptlonlst rule in Missouri. .
Put it down that the hunger for of
fice will bring about a fusion of demo
crats and populists, in Nebraska again
this year. If they should not fuse in
state convention, the work of pulling off
the nominees and - unifying the tickets
through substitution would commence
at once and continue until the kinks
were straightened . out.
M.' Delcasse's ultimatum to the pope
brings the strained relations which have
long existed between France and the
Vatican to a focus. Either one side or
the other must back flown, and France
Is the most unlikely one of tho two. It
is another step In the inevitable di
vorce between church and state.
It is told In dispatches that Great
Britain is anxious to have Secretary
Hay say something on tho subject of in
terference with . neutral vessels by the
Russian volunteer fleet Great Britain
Is a little impatient. Should an Ameri
can vessel be stopped the secretary will
promptly express Jilmselr. ,
The agreement "'reached between the
meat packers find their employes for
arbitration is another ' triumph for the
peaceful adjustment, .of labortroublea.
When nrbltmtliyi,,' oqcomes the , settled
policy of large industrial concerns and
organized labor; "the era' of strikes and
lockouts will be over.
The day before the settlement of the
packers' strike General Bell of Colorado
In an Interview1 told what from his
standpoint should be done. Fortunately
the advice did not come In time to pre
cipitate Colorado conditions upon the
packing cenfers and the strike was
peacefully ended. .
The Des Moines Capital seems to be
as anxious to drive Governor Cummins
into the democratic party as Dr. Miller
is to drive W. J. Bryan out of it, and
both ore pursuing the same methodsr
but oj this subject both the governor
and tho silver champion seem to be
"standpatters."
Both the worklngmen and business
men of South Omaha are to be con
gratulated upon the amicable settlement
of the packing house strike, which
threatened serious losses to all parties
concerned, and endangered tho peace of
the community.
Ripe for Some Fun.
Providence Journal.
Mr. Davis' bari will be subjected to an
exhaustive drain, but when a man reaches
his eighty-first year it Is a pity If he can
not have some fun with Ills money.
1 An Issue to Chew On.
PlttBburg Dispatch.
Politicians who uie In search of a new
and live Issue should consider the popular
response that would be evoked by a bold
declaration In favor of the free oolnnge of
beefsteaks.
Tribute to an Honest Han,
Philadelphia Press.
The crowds at the bier of Mayor Jones
of Toledo nre an eloquent tribute to the
power of a single life. Mayor Jones proved
himself stronger than any party or any
combination of politicians, because he
stood for whnt he believed to be the peo
ple's rights." The day hus not yet arrived
and may It never dawn when one brave,
strong maii Is not the mightiest force In
human society.
Wnr PTopbeeles.
Chicago Chronicle.
Partisans of the Japanese cause will be
disappointed at the announcement from
Toklo that Port Arthur will he taken on
August lfi. The prediction has a stong fam
ily resemblance to that historic assertion
ot Sir Redvers Buller relative to eating his
Christmas dinner In Pretoria. It will be re
membered that Sir Redvers really made
his Yuletide repast upon stewed mule and
hard-tack out on the veldt In the Intervals
of dodging boer bullets.
. Democracy's Hoodoo.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The free silver fetluli lost us every one
of the. great stats of the north and east.
It dro us to close quarters In the border
states. U reduced us to a begfc-ardly array
Iq the national senate, where for a quarter
of a century we had been holding our own,
and robbed us of the house of representa
tives, which we had controlled for two de
cades. It lowered all our standards, moral
and. political. It discredited us. as a force
without and embittered us as a family
within. Where la the thinking, patriotic
democrat who will lament Us flnal eilt
from the scene or yield it anything except
decent tnlenneott
ISCaPABLE OF GOTEBJIXG.
Late Denieeratle Orcaa Reveal the
Defleleaeles of the Family.
Chicago Chronicle.
Publicists assume as an Indusputable
postulate that popular government Is necea
sarlly government by party. Possibly that
may not be true. Possibly some mode may
be discovered of arrlvlDg at popular de
cisions with respect to puhllc policy and
carrying those decisions into effect through
government machinery without the inter
vention of political parties.
It Is certain, however, that no such n'ode
has yet been brought to the knowledge of
mankind. As a matter of fact, popular
governments are party governments, though
the masses of the people may not have
much to do with the molding of policies or
even with exercising an Intelligent choice
between different lines of policy. Govern
ment I by party, though the parties may
be governed by bosses.
Oovernment by party Is impossible with
out some unity of purpose, soma agree
ment upon measures and their administra
tion and some accepted leadership. A
party which cannot agree upon any course
of action and which cannot agree upon
leaders and follow them somewhere evi
dently cannot govern.
How Is It with the democratlo party?
Has It the unity of purpose and the organic
coherency to make It capable of governing
If It should ever get the opportunity?
The answer must be In the negative.
The democratic party Is made up of a lot
of warring factions, of Irreconcilable op
posite, which cannot be brought Into har
monious action under Intelligent and capa
ble leadership.
Thla has been demonstrated experiment
ally twice within twenty years. The dem
ocratlo party chose an able leader and
made him president in ISM. Before the
chosen leader entered the White House Ids
followers In the house of representatives
took It upon themselves to attempt to lead
him. He declined to be led.
He wrote a letter, which Immediately be
came famous, to a friend In the house. In
which he announced distinctly that he
would not himself be led and did not In
tend to permit the party to be led. If he
could prevent. Into the camp of the free
silver repudlators. He was neither reck
less nor Idiotic himself and was not going
to fol!ow those who were either one or
both.
Then, In the classic language of one of
the faction leaders, "hell broke loose," and
It stayed loose and disorderly to the end
of Mr. Cleveland's first term. The party
would not follow Its leader and the leader
would not follow the strongest faction of
the party.
Yet, strange to say, the party that would
not follow nominated the same leader who
would not be led again In 1888 and once
more In 1892 and elected him the latter
year.
The party did not have a fair chance
during Mr. Cleveland's first term because
It did not control congress and could not
legislate, but It could legislate during his
second term, and It improved the oppor
tunity to demonstrate more conclusively
than before that It was Incapable of gov
erning. '
When Mr. Cleveland called congress to
gether Jn extra session to repeal the mis
chievous silver purchase law the dem
ocratic Inferno broke loose again. The
party was hopelessly divided on the meas
ure congress had been convened to pass.
That measure was passed after a prolonged
struggle, but It could never have been
passed without the votes of republicans
who were patriotic enough to rise to the
occasion and vote for the legislation which
was necessary to save the country from
the disgrace and the ruin which would
have attended a collapse from the gold to
the sllvef- standard.
Then when It came to the work of tariff
reform, to which the democratic party was
thoroughly committed and for the perform
ance of which the party was entrusted
with power, the party proved not only Its
Incapaolty but Its Infidelity to its own
pledges.
It refused to follow Its leader and it re
fused to do what It bad promised and was
commissioned to do. Borne of It factions
quarreled with others and with the official
leader of the party and developed a hatred
of him more bitter and malignant than was
ever manifested by any of the party openly
opposed to hlra.
No further practical proof la needed of
the utter Inability of the democratic party
to govern the country if it ahould be given
another opportunity.
A dog came rushing out at a passenger
train and working himself into transports
of fury, as all of us have seen such dog
reformers do. A Texan watching the per
formance from a car window shifted bis
quid and musingly remarked: "I wonder
what he would do with it if he should
get It!"
Bo we may well wonder what the frantlo
democratic dog would do with the govern
ment If he should get it
IEH90AX NOTES.
M. Paul Dupuy, editor of Ie Petit
Parlslen, of Paris, which has the largest
circulation of any dally paper In the world,
is In 8t. Ioule.
"Among the passengers on the steamship
Cedrfc," says a New York contemporary,
"was Cissy Loftus." "Cissy!" Holy smoke!
Is there no way to live down the past?
The descendants of Mary Queen of Soots,
who left but one child, are now to be found
In every court of Europe, with the excep
tion of Turkey and Bsrvla. The royal de
scendants of Mary Stuart at the present
tune number 40 persona.
Ex-Km press Eugenie may be seen almost
any fine day talcing long drives In a motor
car in the Bols de Boulogne, Paris. She has
become greatly devoted to thla modern pas
time and declares it serves to develop fear
lessness in all who Indu'ge In It.
General Booth, chief of the Salvation
Army, was recently offered knighthood by
King Edward. Ths king suggested the
honor as delicately as he could, but Gen
eral Booth's horror of the Idea was so
genuine that bis majesty dropped the sub
ject. Cardinal Gibbons last week celebrated
the eighteenth anniversary of his elevation
to the cardinalate. On the 23d of this
month he will be 70 years old. His emi
nence Is In excellent health his eye bright,
his step alert and his brilliant Intellect in
full strength.
Mme. de Navarro (Mary Anderson) de
scribes the late artist Wtu as such an ad
mirable talker that, although It Interrupted
the work when she was having her picture
painted, (he could not refrain from start
ing him on some congenial subject. The
result wss that the painting of her portrait
was spread over five years.
Robert B. Armstrong, assistant secretary
of the treasury, relates that a newly ap
pointed collector In one of the Interior ports
had occasion recently to pass upon the ap
praisement of the Venus de MUo Imported
for a local magnate. The collector ordered
the case opened, found the statue was with
out arras and entered upon his returns "of
no commercial value; damaged In Importa
tion." Ex-Governor Frank 8. Black of New York
loves his Joke. When he returned from the
Chicago national convention a nrgTo named
Mace, who manages a bootblack stand near
the railroad station, Informed the governor
that while h (Black) was "tawHn' to
nominate the next president his wife had
given him a fins boy, whom he had named
William McKtnley Roosevelt Black Mace."
Governor Black handed he negro a fiver,
and In his brusque way remarked; "Wil
liam, scratch the 'Blatk.' "
ROCSD ABOCT NEW YORK.
Ripples on the Cnrrent of Life la the
Metropolis. '
All the sparrows that live, and love, and
fight, and die about City Hall park,
seemed to gather there In mass convention
one afternoon last week. They were In a
state of great excitement, chattering over
some wonderful piece of news. Now and
then they would swoop down with shlll
peeps of triumph toward a prostrate form
near the Broadway fountain, peck at It,
and carry away bits of orange and black
hair. The eaves ot the city hall and the
nests In the scales of justice began to look
as though they were celebrating a Prince
ton victory.
The disturbance was caused originally by
Rags, the beloved canine pet of Antonio
Fogoto, the bootblack. Rags deserves his
title, because some of his ancestors were
smooth-conted, and the others came of the
tribes of King Charles and Irish terriers.
He had waited long and patiently for
Tiger, one) ot the city hall cats, and often
had suffered from painful scratches on his
sensitive nose. Inflicted while he was trying
to get a death hold on Tiger.
Rags caught Tiger peacefully devouring
a sparrow under one of the bushes. He
fell upon the unsuspecting enemy, caught
him Just back of the skull and shook him
fiercely until his nine souls (led to the
feline place of felicity. Then he cast him
aside and returned to his master to try to
tell what a wonderful dog he was.
Some of the sparrows saw ths end of
their old enemy, who for years had di
gested and thrived on the dearest of their
families. Tho news was spread, and the
dead villain was robbed of a great part of
his tiger hair, and the feathered tribe had
a celebration the like of which not even
the oldest grandfather could recall. Then
the man with the pointed stick who keeps
the grass free from bits of paper and other
litter, drove them away from the fallen
foe nnd threw the body Into a sack. So
the remains of Tiger were carried away
for final disposal on Barren Island, and
never ngnln will he sing to the moon,
happy, with a stomach full of sparrows.
Survivors of the General Slocum dis
aster are complaining about the slow and
unsatisfactory way of distributing the
funds collected for the relief of the suffer
ers of the disaster. The heavy expenses
Incurred by the committee In charge of the
distribution of the funds are also sharply
criticised, and It Is likely that the 'matter
will be laid before the proper authorities.
It has been sakl that of the $100,000 col
lected about 135,000 was expended for fu
neral expenses. Inquiry among the fami
lies for whom the fund was raised showed,
It Is said, that only 14,158 of the bills pre
sented for funeral expenses had been paid.
In several cases payment was refused, or
only a small amount given. One of the
complainants says that the committee ap
pointed by Mayor Clellan had left the
distribution of the funds to A. A. Hill,
connected with the Charity Organisation
society of Manhattan, who, having his
residence out of town, has his board and
lodging at a hotel paid with relief funds,
and has surrounded himself, it was de
clared, with a staff of fourteen clerks,
typewriters. Inspectors and others, who
also are paid from the relief funds.
Vegetation restaurants in the lower part
of New York have already begun to feel
the stimulating effect of the beef famine.
Since the price of beef began to ascend
the safety rasor has come Into general
use In the making of beef sandwiches and
the cutting of portions for 20-cent lunch
eon This has driven the noonday crowd
to the anti-meat places, where beefiest
barbecues of cereal steaks and chops are
now held with a swelling army of votaries.
At Dolan's. famous corned beef emporium
In Park Row the portions are Just as thick
as ever, but that Is because the skill of the
human hand has long ago reached Its high
point of cultivation In shaving the thinnest
slices from the huge beef pillars that stand
on the counter. " Strange to say, pork has
risen even shove beef since the strike.
Lamb has also Jumped higher than beef.
While prime ribs have risen only 1 cent
In the last twenty-four hours, lamb has
jumped 4 cents and fresh ham has risen
S cents.
A music teacher of Harlem haled to the
police court a chiropodist who occupied
an apartment next door.
"What has this man been doing; tread
ing on your corns?" asked the Judge.
"No, your honor," the woman replied,
"he has insulted my musical sentiments
and made light of my musical friends."
He has. In what manner?"
"He pokes his head out of his window
over the air shaft and calls us names. And
all we are doing Is to have a little
of refined classical music."
The judge turned to the corn doctor.
"Well, sir; what do you say to that?"
"Your honor, will you ask her how late
he plays?"
"Never after 2:30; we often stop at mid
night," the woman put In.
"Do you mean to say that you play and
sing until 2 a. m.?"
"Not much later, sir."
"You are d;scharged doctor," said the
Judge. "Let me give you a bit of advice.
You report this woman to the Board of
Health, and If that don't put a stop on
her, come back to me."
The doctors of Bellevue hospital are In
despair over the Increasing number of pa
tients they ere receiving who are said to
be a little queer. They are Inclined to
credit the growth of Insanity to the noise
and distractions of a great city. Txmdon
produces seventy lunatics a week, and New
York Is almost as bad, and Its Increase Is
greater proportionally. Experts say thnt
If It were not for the fact that nature
steps In and generally refuses to grant
children sfter the fourth or fifth genera
tion conditions would be far worse than
they are. The outlook for the future Is
not bright, sccordlng to medical opinion,
unless the minds of city people sre better
able wfthln the next few generations to ad
Just themselves to their progressively com
plicated environment or unless mental hab
its are developed to overcome the unnat
ural nervous tension of city life. .
One of the rich men of New York got
his first $60,000 in a peculiar way. An In
sider gave to him a tip on sugar at a time
when that pyrotechnic was at the height
of Its career as an uncertain factor In
speculation. Getting together every dollar
The Universal Popularity
of the famous
BLflTEUBA
proves conclusively that nothing can compare with it as a
table water. Always the same. Pure, sparkling, delicious.
THE RICHAAD504 0RU8 CO.,
S JACKBON STREET,
DISTRIUUTlhU AGENTS.
he could rake, scrips sod borrow, he
started for Wall street to sell short 1.000
shares. It was the only absolutely sure,
leadplpe cinch he had ever tackled. Two
pretty young women occupied seatsi oppo
site him In an elevated csr, chattering Uks
magpies. "Oh, what do you "think paps
gave me this morning?" said one. "You'd
never guess, so 1 might is well tell you.
He gave me 300 shares of sugar stock, and
told me not to sell a single share until It
went up 60 points. Papa, you know, la a
very Intimate friend of Mr. Havemeyer."
When our friend reached the street he
bought 1.000 shares of sugar Instead of
selling without mentioning the fact to his
Inside acquaintance. Sugsr went up 71
points.
The terror inspired In New York by re
cent disasters Is illustrated by the case of
a man who. when he was asked In a police
court to explain why he carried a revolver
without a permit, replied that he expected
to anil for Germany next Baturdiy and In
tended to blow out his brains If anything
happened to the ship. He said he had
read so much shout the Slocum and Norga
disasters that he felt convinced he could
never witness such scenes. He Insisted that
this waa hi sole reason for carrying the
weapon.
, BROKE?) LOOSE AGAI.
Postal Official with a Fad for Spelling!
Reform. .
Brooklyn Eagle.
Search out this man, ride him to the
outskirts on a rail and dismiss him Into
the void. He la the postal official who
has ordered that where a town has a
double name It shall be written ns one.
The west Is his especial stamping ground.
He says that La Mesa, for example, shall
be written Lamesa. This name consists
ef two Spanish words, meaning The and
Table, and they should no more be joined
than we Join the words New and York In
the name of thiolty. A being In our post
office has dictated that the American peo
ple ahall write of the Blgtrees, SAnfran
Cisco and Losangeles, and we won't. Ws
know the fellow. He Is first cousin to th
big-eared employe of the t'nlted States
treasury who destroyed tho photograph of
Mr. McKlnley and other celebrities, be
cause In the picture wss a piece of paper
known as a check which was about to be
paid to the representatives of the Spanish
government, and to' represent the check
In photography was counterfeiting. Also,
he Is related to that unspeakable ass who
raided the bankers' dinner in Manhattan
because the Ice cream waa served In paper
boxes rudely resembling piles of coin. He
said they, too, were counterfeits. Oh, we
have some rare specimens In the cages
In Washington, and they do strange things
wherever they are let out to grass. But
If it comes to sending our letters to the
dead letter office beoause we address them
to Kansas City ' Instead of Kansasotty,
there is going to be trouble and a few
rules for starting It will be forwarded to
Henrycpayno and other prominent people
In the Dlatrlctofcolumbla. If we have to
carry the matter to Theodoreroosevelt It
shall be carried. We do not propose to al
low the orthographic liberties of the land
of Georgewashington to be Imperiled by a
ten-dollar politician fumbling about as a
clerk In the capital of this Unltedstates.
LAUGHIXQ GA8.
"My gracious!" exclaimed the first flea,
"what makes you so red?"
"Sunburned," replied the second flea, dis
gustedly. "Some idiot clipped the dog I
was summering on." Philadelphia Press.
First Physician So the oneratloa
Just In the nick of time?
Second Pbyslqlan-eTts, In. another ,tan,.,
ty-four hours the patient would have re
covered without It. Harper's Baxar.
"Do you believe In picking up horse
shoes?" "Well, I never picked up but one. It was
lying In front of a horseshoer's shop."
"What did you do with It?"
"I laid It down again. It was red hoi."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Parson White Mlstah Johnslng's vehy
peculiar.
Brudder Jones Yes, Indeedy. He'd
radder work dan git married. Brooklyn
Life.
"There goes Mrs. Glddelgh." remarks the
woman In the wicker rocker on the porch
of the summer hotel.. "One hears all sorts
of things about her. They say she got ac
quainted with her husband by flirting with
him."
"Humph!" says the sallow lady on the
settee. "That's how she got acquainted
with mine." Judge.
"Scientists say It's the sleep you get
before midnight that does you the most
good."
"Nonsense! It's the sleep I get after I'm
called In the morning that makes me feel
good." Philadelphia Press.
"Is this seat occupied?" asked the
polite passenger.
"Can t you see It Is?" retorted the boor
ish Individual, spreading' bis legs over the
other half of It.
"But I mean by a human being," said
the first passenger. Philadelphia Press.
When you see a fat woman getting
aboard a street car, doesn't It always make
you feel thankful that you don't weigh
more than 120 pounds? Somervllle Journal.
"What a cute little baby." exclaimed the
good-hearted old Jady on the street. "Boy
or girl?"
"We ain't decided yet," replied the little
nurse. "Pop an" mom's still scrappln' over
a name for it." Philadelphia Catholic
Standard.
"Don't you 'want to deserve the. grati
tude of your fellow cltlsens?"
"The trouble with gratitude," said Sena
tor Sorghum. "Is that It Is usually ex
pressed by the words 'thank you,' unac
companied by cash." Washington Star.
"You'll find, my boy," said the wise old
man, "that this world Is full ot quick
sands." "Well," replied the bright youth, "ss t
expect to go Into the sugar refining busi
ness, I hope I'll find It reasonably full of
get-rlch-qulck sands." Philadelphia press.
. SOMHET OP A FARM HA!D.'
8. E. Klser In Re cord-He raid.
How glad I am to be a toller where
There ain't no smoke to make your collar
black i ...
Gosh! how that sun does beat down on
my bavk'
Where every prospect pleases, and the air
is always pure and braoln' I declare,
My tongue feels almost dry enough te
crack
Git up, there, Fan, or I'll give you a
wliack !-
And all you have to do Is laugh at care.
I pity them poor slaves that work away
Up there In town geel how my head does
achr'
While 1 am out here, slngln', glsd and gay
And what they earn the selfish bosses
take:
I've saved six dollars since the first of Mav,
And seems as though my blistered baik
'ud break.
WATER f
SHERMAN & McJOKHELl DRU3 C9
MTH AND DODQB. '
hbtaii Aaais '
