TITE OMAITA DAILY TJEE: TnURSDAY. APRIL 14, IH04.
6
Tiie Omaha Daily Bee.
E. ROSEWATER, KDITOR.
PUBLISHED EVERT MORNING.
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THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY.
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
Btnte of Nebraska, Douglas County,
George B. Tsschurk. secretary of the Bee
J-uDiiihlng Company, being amy w"r"i
KRVI thm tVi Bfttml nnmlwir of full ana
complete cople of The Dally, Morning,
Kvenlng and Sunday Bee printed during the
monm or March, 1HU4, was as ioiiuwh.
1 3.TO
17..
....80.BTO
2 80,810
I SO,H20
4 8O.0NO
E ai.iao
27.HIO
7 30.KNO
31. ISO
SO.THO
10 80.720
31 30,1-BO
IJ 3,K
13 24l,lno
it sn,9o
IS SO,4fiO
18..
19..
20..
71..
22..
SI..
..RO.210
..21,N70
..80,000
..30.100
. .80,1 NO
. .2.n:io
..a5.w
24.
25 80,800
28 30.sH K
27 iMI.MOO
M. 20.710
2 an.aio
SO 0,0!M
31 2,20
16 30.350
Total 93O.210
I -ess unsold and returned cople.... 10,323
Net total sales
Net average aalea.
19,HT
tt,T3
GEO. B. TZSCHUCK.
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to
before me thia 1st day of April, A. D , 1904.
(Seal) M. B. HUNGATE,
Notary Public.
After all the vice presidency on the
Roosevelt ticket is not going begging.
Reasons for the cr-nr's desire for peace
come to light every time the Russian
Uect triea to do anything effective.
Tayment of a license fee of $2 a year
ran scarcely be considered a hardship
for people who indulge in the automo
bile luxury.
When John N. Baldwin is away from
tiome he always registers from Omaha,
Although he hus his washing done in
Council Bluffs.
The Indigestible candidate seems to
Mioke the Massachusetts democracy,
which apparently needs a dose of "Frog
In the Throat"
Commander-in-Chief Alexleff is send
ing too many "I regret to" rciKrts to
the czar, and the first thing he knows
be will be called "off." '.
v War correspondents who are able
hould watch General Ma. It Is offi
cially denied that China has any Inten
tion of taking part In the fight.
Defensive mines are all right if ban
tiled right, but the trouble is that none
have been Invented which can distin
guish between friend and enemy.
' Th escape of Grand Duke Cyril may
tor may not have been miraculous, but
he feels better on the land, all the same,
than he would have felt under water.
, Now that the Iowa legislature has
turned up Its toes, it will be pointed to
M the worst legislature Iowa ever had.
The last legislature always Is the worst.
The coarse pursued by the council to
ward the obstreperous majority of the
Board of Public Works forcibly reminds
one of the GermaA who rolled bis fist
In hla pocket
In losing his life on a "floating fort"
Admiral Makaroff proved the soundness
of hla theories In favor of light cruisers,
which won him the title of the "Cossack
of the Sea."
The beneficiaries of the Hartley steal
roust atick together. That Is the only
rational explanation of the attitude of
the World-Herald In regard to the dis
placement of Summers.
If the action of the pupils of the pub
11c schools at Kansas City, Kan., will
nerve aa aq Indication, the race question
will be no less alive for the coming gen -
erauon tuau u is touay.
There are five people In Utah who dis
agree with President Smith In tbe mat
ter of tbe Smoot Investigations. They
are Mormons who cannot be found by
Ulcers who have subpoenas.
Aa Brooklyn haa declured for Parker,
tbe chances of the "yellow peril" are
better In tbe districts across the river.
Hearst may cut some figure In some of
the metropolitan congressional districts.
Colonel Martha nd is having about as
much trouble when leaving tbe French
army aa Dreyfus is having to get back.
French army matters are something un
intelligible to one not to the manner
born,
Tbe German prince who resigned his
title to marry a circus rider was wise.
Htrenuoaity of the sort bU wife displays
lib more certain to bring three square
meala a day than all of the titles In the
' pmplre, lf not backed up with cash.
. Democrats who object to tbe new rul
ing of Commissioner Ware and vote to
atop the appropriations necessary for
pensions under that rule will be found,
without exception, to be representatJvea
ot districts where nominations are
qolrmlent to elections and where Grand
'axjoj. feBttoM ( ia ulaorltj
IS TKMRB POLITICAL VSBKtlt
Representative Cowherd of Missouri,
who hag been chosen chairman of the
democratic congressional committee, Is
of the opinion that there is a general
feeling of political nnrest and he counts
npon this as being faTorable to demo
cratic success this rear. Mr. Cowherd
Is quoted as saying that the personality
of President Roosevelt will cost his
party thousands of Totes In donbtful
states, that he Is as much distrusted In
New York and Massachusetts as he Is
admired In Wyoming and Dakota, and
for the same reason, and that "while
many men delight in his Impetuosity,
the thoughtful citizen prefers other qual
ifications for the head of a great goy
ernment" '
It is obvious that the democrats are
basing their hope of winning In this
year's election upon the belief that there
Is general political unrest, but they do
not point out where this Is to be found.
It is not apparent In the course of
any republican state convention thus
far. That of Pennsylvania last week
unqualifiedly endorsed the administra
tion of President Roosevelt and In
structed the delegates-at-large from that
state to vote for his nomination. The
New York convention has Just done
the same thing, manifesting a most
hearty enthusiasm respecting the presi
dent Both the temporary chairman of
the Empire state convention. Senator
Depew, and the permanent chairman,
Representative Payne, spoke In glowing
terms of the Roosevelt administration
and the resolution of the platform re
ferring to the president whs received
with enthusiasm by the convention
There has been much said in regard to
an alleged factional fight In New York,
but there is no evidence of anything of
the kind In the action of the convention,
whlch on the contrary showed the ut-
most good feeling and entire harmony,
Undoubtedly In every state where re-
publican conventions are yet to be held
there will be witnessed a repetition of
what has already taken pliice, demon-
stratlng that the republican party
throughout the country is as thoroughly
harmonious as at nny other time In Its
triumphant history and will enter upon
the campaign of 1904 without the least
friction In its ranks and Imbued with
that confidence which presages victory,
There is nothing to cause or to war-
rant political unrest. The nation Is still
prosperous. Grant that business Is some-
what less active than a couple of years
ago, yet It Is vastly better than during
the period of the last democratic admin-
istratlon and there is a brightening nros-
pect of Improvement. Every republican
policy has been most amply justified and
vindicated by events. Under the opera- to recover the back taxes which rall
Hon of these policies the country has roads have evaded by confusing and rlc-
steadlly grown in wealth and power and
today occupies a position of Influence
greater than ever before In Its history.
As a matter of fact plain to all careful
observers, the republican outlook Is con-
stantly improving. The distinguished
leader of the party, as was said by Sen-
ator Spooner in a recent speech, Is I
known to the people of the United States
and they "know him to be honest they
know him to be brave, they know him
to cherish but one ambition to give the
people of this country a clean, honest.
law-abiding administration."
SO MO tin FLOWMRS.
The Chicago city council for 1004 has
set an illustrious example to all Ameri-
can legislatures by prohibiting floral
displays on the desks of newly elected
members. It had been the custom for
many years past to cover the desks of
newly elected aldermen with cut flow-
era and floral pieces, sent aa tributes of
respect by the constituents of alder-
men, particularly contractors and cor-
poratlon lobbyists, and frequently these
floral trlbutea were paid for by the aid-
ermen themselves, but of late the ten-
dency has been to overdo the matter,
and the rivalrv has been so arrest that
the desks of soma of the miinielnal
statesmen have actually been sub-
merged in blossom.
The upshot waa that crowds were at
tracted to tbe opening night of the city
council as they would be to a floral
show. Often floral pieces continued to
arrive after the session had begun.
Much confusion resulted now and then
from mistakes made bv the attendants
"
whereby the flowers Intended for one
alderman were placed on another alder
man's desk, Just as the photographs of
budding statesmen Inserted in news
papers are sometimes transposed over
the names of other people. To put an
end to these periodic drafts on the hot
houses a new departure has been taken
that will doubtless be emulated else-
, when!i and lf ,t , not ,t Bhou,d bp
PRKfK UBS OPTIMISTIC .
The sunDortera of Judge Parker are
professing to be entirely confident that
he will get the nomination for the presl
dency at St Louis. They are claiming
that he will have tbe delegations from
thirty-four states, numbering 810, and as
the total membership of the national
convention will be 994, If their figures
suomu prove correct ue wm carry on
me nomination wituoui me sngntest air-
Acuity. It is certainly a fact that Par-
ker la growing In favor among democrats
lurougnoui me country, ue nas no man
of equal prominence to oppose him aa
yet ana mere seem to be no morns in
his path. Still he cannot at present be
nanea, aa nis most araeni rnenas are
aoing. as a sure winner or me nomina-
tion. tor u is ny no means lmpossioie
that something may happen before the
meeting of the convention in July that
wiu impair nia cnancee.
lhe .New lork democratic convention
will meet next week and a great deal
will depend upon Its action. The Indies-
tlons are that It will be a Parker body,
but there Is at the same time promise!
of quite a sharp contest between the
friends and opponent of the Judge. Ac-
cording to reports from New Tork a few
daya ago there baa been a split between
Parker and BUI regarding the character
ot i ttelanttoa c prtactpkt jerWdl
the convention shall make, the state
ment being that Hill desires that some
concession be made to the radical wing
of the party, while Parker wants the
platform to be strictly conservative and
to omit all reference to the last two na
tional platforms. We do not know bow
trustworthy this report was, but at any
rate It is very generally understood that
Parker wishes to be known as a con
servative of the Cleveland brand and It
is because of this that be Is finding few
If any friends among the rndlcals. Not
until after the democratic convention of
New York bns spoken can any definite
conclusion be .formed as to Judge Par
ker's chances at St. Louis.
WHAT WILL SEBRASKA DUl
Governor LaFollette, who has waged
an unrelenting campaign for equitable
railroad taxation In Wisconsin, makes
the announcement that an Investigation
of the books of the railroads discloses
that the railroads have beaten that state
out of more than $ 1,000,000 in the course
of a number of years by misleading re
ports concerning their gross Income. The
announcement Is accompanied by figures
of an expert Investigation under the di
rection of the state commissioner of rail
roads. These figures show that It has
been the custom for the railroads to omit
to report in their annual statements of
earnings substantial Items of various
kinds, and particularly the amounts of
rebates paid to favored shippers, these
latter amounting to millions of dollars.
Under the Wisconsin revenue law these
unreported earnings are subject to the
state license fee tax of 4 per cent on the
gross earnings. Governor LftFoIlotte says
that the statute of limitations will not
operate against the state in Wisconsin
and that the recovery will be made for
all taxes which the railroads ever wrong-
fully withheld from the state unless an
amicable settlement is made.
The movement about to he Innugu
rated by Governor LaFollette forcibly
calls attention to the same abuses in
other states under the system of tax
evasion by which the railroad corpora
tions have managed to evade their just
share of the public burdens. This Is as
true of Nebraska as of nny other state
cast or west. The amount of taxes that
railroads have unjustly withheld from
this state, and especially from munlcl
palities like Omaha and Lincoln, would
aggregate not $1,000,000 but many mil
Hons. In Omaha alone a recovery of the
J"Rt claims that the city could present
against the railroads for taxes they
should have paid during the past ten
years would aggregate more than
11.000,000,
Jt may not e possible In Nebraska
tltious returns and discriminating np
praisements, but surely there Is no rea-
9011 wny tne M system should be tol
crated any longer. There Is no reason
wny Nebraska should be the only state
"ow the railway corporations to sys-
tematically shift the tax burden upon
tne owners of all other classes of prop
when it is a matter of notoriety
tUBt lhe railway rates in Nebraska are
from 10 to 40 Pr cent higher than they
are ,n tne aJnent states.
That fact WHB pointed out forcibly by
that eminent railroad magnate, J. J.
Hill, In a manifesto lssned only three
aaS "Ro. when he declared that if
Union Faclflc rates were applied to the
Great Northern it would cost the north-
west $8,000,000 a year. In plain Eng
"8n. Mr. Hill charged that railroad rates
within the territory of the Union Pacific
which also Includes the other systems
operating In Nebraska, are very much
higher than those in North Dakota and
Minnesota. So long as Nebraska sub-
mlta to these excessive tolls the rail-
roaas operating In Nebraska should
cheerfully pay their pro rata of taxes
8tate- connty and municipal. Will they
do lt? wu' they be made to do it?
According to Superintendent Mc
Cowan of the government Indian ex-
I ttlHIt 'Hho T still a I a ra PniliaaA Avnncl
hlbit "the Louisiana Purchase exposi
tion will have at least one exhibit that
has never been seen at a world's fair
the American Indian. There have been
Indians exhibited at every exposition,
says Mr. McCowan, "but they have been
nldooU8 Matures of the original artl-
c,e mrM to Palnt P09 runt ana n
I 1. . V- , 1 T T 1 i.
luri lutruinrivt-B ui n way lieu acaei
or Fontiac would not recognize. At St
Louis the United States government
will give the Indian exhibit and it will
be the real thing." Mr. McCowan evi
dently does not know what he Is talking
about Perhaps he has not beard about
the government Indian exhibit at the
Transmieslsslppl exposition, held in
Omaha six years ago, where genuine
aborigines were to be seen here, repre
sentatives of twenty-three tribes, se
lected expressly from among tbe best
Pen of the surviving red man, and
pronounced by all who witnessed it as
the most complete exhibit of the Amer
lean Indian that waa ever seen on the
continent
That the sordid twentieth century
spirit has Invaded the ranks of Ahe
godly we ag tQe mgAy Is vl
denced by the dl8CU88lon concerning the
endowment fund for the projected New
York wesleyan university. "If John
D Rockefeller offered money for the
Methodist hospital," exclaimed Dr .James
M Rucklev. "I would take it but
would te hlm Ju8t wuat f thlnk of uU
busm(M methods at the same time."
And everybody at the conference said
Amen what are we coming to? Are
we to have all our Dubllc hosnltals and
colleges desecrated by Rockefeller nionu-
i ments?
I It does not very often happen that an
appropriation made by the legislature
I for any purpose placed at the disposal
of a state board or a atate officer, la
not absorbed within a few cents by the
time the task la performed. A most
creditable exception may be noted in the
report of Land Commissioner t'ollmer,
at whose disposal tbe legislature placed
1112,090 fc JAareaotraiaejiient e, Hi?
public school lands and who accom
plished the object desired by an expendi
ture of less than half the appropria
tion and turned back more than f 0,000
Into the treasury. This unexampled
feat entitles the commissioner to a
medal and special mention In the state
house calendar.
In the schedule of reappraised school
lands Douglas county figures with Just
sixty-two acres, appraised under the old
valuation for $470, or $7.08 per acre,
and under the new valuation for $940,
or $15.00 an acre. Judging from the
price and the fact that the rental Is
only $28, or 45 cents an acre, a year,
taxes free, the little tract of state school
lands In Douglas county can scarcely
be very prolific.
When all things failed the war corre
spondent during the American civil war
the "intelligent contraband" was sure
to appear with the very latest news
from the confederate camp. In Corca
and Manchuria, the Intelligent contra
band is sadly missing and the war cor
respondents have to depend chiefly upon
their imagination for the very latest
from the seat of war.
The Indian bureau has placated
Omaha Jobbers by promising to receive
bids for Indian supply purchases In
Omaha In the year 1908. This Is very
generous, but who will redeem the prom
ise, who will be secretary of the In
terior, or Imlinn commissioner In 1906?
That ordinance for the efficient inspec
tion of explosives and dangerous com
pounds stored In warehouses and shops
still slumbers in the pigeonholes of the
council and will so continue until an
other disaster by fire overtakes the city.
Varying; the Kierclse.
Washington Post.
We can now quit laughing at those Russ-
Jap names long enough to learn how to
spell, and, If possible, pronounce the name
of the new capital of the Philippines.
Conveniences of Memory.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr. I-AWFon of Poston Is a picturesque
capitalist. He couldn't toll the other day
whether he had made J4fi.W)O,00O In copper
or W.,000,000. A man aa careless aa that
should Keep a cash book.
Tronble In the Hear.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Russia's state control of rum and rail
roads la creating such discontent that It
may find two wars on Its hands Instead of
one. The populace Is not clamoring for
rides on easy terms, but when government
raises the price of hard drink It becomes
a tyranny.
How Many Too Few
Boston Globe.
Dr. I.,. Benjamin Andrews, one of the
wise men who talk against race suicide,
declares that 'ie Roosevelt Idea can be
over dona and that ten children Is too
many. Now, lf ths doctor will only say
how many is too few, we shal begin to
have something to go by."
A Sti
In on the Imagination.
New Tork Tribune.
All sorts of '.reeArds are shattered In
these progressive Avya, even those of coin
age In our Unltedr States mints. Think
of a total of $54,693,600 of gold coined In one
place In a couple of months, a weight of
110 tons! That's no light total for the
Imagination to grapple with.
A National Ontraare.
Baltimore American.
The whole country hns the right to rise
In protest against the giving away by the
New York legislature of Niagara Falls to
commercial destruction. The great natural
wonder Is the pride of the nation, and
that one of the curiosities of the world
should be at the mecy of a small group
of men so Insensible to Its real Importance
as to be willing for Its practical oblltera
tlon Is little short of a national outrage,
which the United States should have not
only the right, but also the power, to re
sent.
Hearst at St. Lonla.
St. Louis Globe Democrat.
The democrats who are counting William
R. Hearst out of the final contest for the
presidential candidacy are a little too precip
itate. Hearst haa hired enough rooms In
St. Louis for the convention period to
house a small army of boomers. He him
self does not give up the fight for the
nomination, and until he does this It would
be well for his democratic! rivals and for
the republican party to assume that he Is
In. He la making preparations for a mass.
Ing of strength In the grand round-up
which, on the face of the returns, Is Im
posing. Moreover, he usually knows what
he Is doing, both when he Is investing his
money In hotel accommodations and when
he la capturing caucusea and district and
atate conventions.
Rl'RAL DELIVERY CARRIERS.
Prospective Chances la the Uw Rev
latins; Their Duties.
Baltimore Sun.
The senate has amended the pogtofflce
appropriation bill so as to provide that
rural free delivery carriers "may carry mer
chandise for hire and receive aubscrip
tions for and deliver newspapers, maga
zines and other periodicals for and upon
the request of patrons residing upon their
respective routes, whenever tbe same shall
not Interfere with the proper discharge of
their official duties, and under such regula
tions as the postmaster general may pre
scribe." It la to be hoped, for the con
venience of persons living In the country
that the regulations prescribed by the post
master general will be as liberal as may be
compatible with the good of the service.
The rural free delivery system waa estab
Uahed for the purpose of bringing residents
of the country districts Into close and
prompt communication with the cities. Un
der the operations of tbe system residents
of rural sections have been enabled to get
dally newspapers a few hours after pub
Ucation. The system haa worked well In
Maryland and elsewhere through the liberal
policy pursued by the Postofflce depart
nient. A recent ruling of tbe department
however, seemed to deprive rural free de
livery carriers of certain privileges which
they had enjoyed In respect to delivering
newspapers to patrons on their routes. A
tha government derived as much revenue
from postage under the former system as
It would obtain under the new ruling, there
seemed to be no necessity for the change.
Moreover, the system which the depart
ment modified facilitated greatly the do
livery of newspapers and other mall. The
senate amendment proposes to give the
rural carriers certain privileges which are
distinctly In the Interest of their patrons.
It Is hoped that the regulations of the
Poatofflce department will not curtail these
privileges so long aa they are exercised
for the convenience of country residents
nd do not impair ifee efSoieooy of (he
eeryloe
BITS OP WASHIftQTOX IJFK.
Mlaor Seeaes muA larldenta Sketched
a the Spot.
Two husky steamfltters were called In to
fl some colls In the office of the commis
sioner of patents the other day. They
were clad in their usual working cmthes
and didn't bother about official ceremony,
but walked right In and tackled the Job.
Commissioner Allen does not appreciate un
announced calls, as be entertains a large
Idea of the dignity of his office. Looking
amazed at the workmen, he Anally found
words to ask:
"Do you know where you are?"
"Sure," said one of the men, "we're In
the patent office."
"Just so," observed the official. "I am
the commissioner of patents for the United
Statea and you have your hats on!"
"Glad to know you," said the steamfltter,
"but we didn't come In to call on you. We
came In to fix the pipes."
Quite a commotion has been caused In
Washington by the daring escapade of
young Gardiner Bell, son of Charles T.
Bell, president of the American Security
nd Trust company, and grandson of Alex
nder Graham Bell, the eminent scientist.
The lad is 17 years old, slender and delicate
of figure. Dressed In a pretty pink frock
nd other feminine attire and wearing a
blonde wig, he attended a charity ball at
tha Wlllard hotel, danced with some of
the young swells and flirted In audacious
fashion. He went down to supper with
partner and carried on a long tete-a-tete
In approved style. His makeup was at
tended to by his slaters, Helen and Grace,
and all three enjoyed the Joke Immensely.
Speaker Cannon pauses) to talk with a
little knot of newspaper men at the White
House, and In answer to questions said
he thought congress would adjourn about
May 1. "But Senator Cullom says that
on can't get through by that time," re
marked one of the correspondents. "Well,
don t want to make any remarks about
thplr Judgment," replied the speaker, "but
perhaps they are a great deal like some
people In a certain neighborhood back In
Illinois. Tt was In the old days when I
was trying to earn an honpst living prac
ticing on the circuit. I had a case which
nvolved a client who had a pretty bad
reputation around about. One of the wit
nesses was on the stand and had given
my man a pretty bad black eye. I took
him after my friend on the other side
ad concluded, and did my best to shake
his testimony. 'Do you know him to have
bad reputation?' I aaked. 'I do,' he
replied; 'he couldn't tell the truth If be
tried wnen the truth would do better.'
How many people In the neighborhood
think he has that kind of a reputation?'
asked. 'Moat all of them.' 'How many
people are In that neighborhood?' 'Oh,
about a hundred, I guess.' he ventured.
Well, don't you know that a good many
of those people pretend to know him and
think he's all right?' 'Well, some may pre
tend and some may protend, but they all
now that he's no good,' he wound up, and
had to let It go at that. Now, some of
these senatora may 'pretend' and some may
protend' that they know when we will ad
journ, but I have my doubts that any of
them know. I guess I don't know my
self." Mr. Cushman of Washington was ad
dressing the houst last Thursday, but he
had great difficulty in making himself
heard. Members were walking about the
11. chatting and laughing, and at the
peaker's table several members engaged
Mr. Cannon In animated discussion.
When Mr. Cushman discovered that he
was practically without an audience he
paused suddenly In speech, and walking
half way down the aisle, called out Jn a
voire that no one could fall to hear:
"Mr. Speaker, I trust 1 am not disturbing
anybody by my remarks."
Mr. Cushman had attention during the
rest of his speech.
Representative Lacey of Oskaloosa, Ma
haska county, la.. Is an advocate of easily
pronounced Indian words for the names of
towns and counties. The other day the
house Indian committee was considering
a bill for naming counties In Oklahoma. It
had been suggested that certain counties
should be designated Townsend, Gilbert,
Curtis and Lowe for Americans of deserved
prominence in the southwest, but Mr.
Lacey protested. He wanted easily pro
nounced Indian names for those counties.
That met with the commtttee's approval.
and Seneca, Peoria, Sac and Fox were In
serted In place of Townsend, Gilbert and
Curtis. When it came to Lowe county,
Mr. Iacey suggested that name should re
main in the hill.
But why?" said a half dozen advocates
of Lacey's Idea In a chorus.
"Isn't that an Indian name?" inquired
Mr. Lacey. "Don't you remember 'Lo,
the poor Indian?" "
No one threw books at the lowan, but
the name of Lowe went out of the bill.
Representative Maddox of Georgia has
a son who recently graduated from a law
school and has hung out his shingle In
Rome. A few days ago the son visited
Washington and had a long talk with his
father about the law business.
Oh, yes, father," he said, at the con
ference n eared an end, "Iv'e settled that
Blank against Blank suit, which you've
bad dragging on for the past twenty
years."
"Great Scott! boy," tie exclaimed,! "you
don't mean that you've gone and settled
that case. Why, I turned that over to
you aa a life annuity."
Judge Maddox haa announced that he
will retire from congress at the end of
hla present term. "And I reckon," he
said. In relating the Incident, "that It's a
good thing. My son needs Initiation Into
the practice of law."
Mrs. Bpooner, wife of the Wisconsin sen
ator, sat in a senate gallery a few days
ago and watched proceedings on the floor
below. Two young women who took pains
to let people know they were from New
Tork eat down rear by. One of them In
quired of an attendant: "Who la the little
man with the tousled hair?" "That Is
Mr. Bpooner of Wisconsin, ma'am." "I
might have known he was from the west
somewhere by the way his clothes fit him,"
said the self-satisfied person from Man
hattan. Mrs. Spooner arose with a de
termined air and proceeded to the marble
room, whither she summoned her husband
After telling him what she had heard In
the gallery, she said: . "Now, John, I've
always advised you against having your
clothes made In New York. Tou Just
better try a Madison tailor for once."
General Miles was standing In the lobby
of the Arlington the other night and hap
pened to overhear a remark made by I
small, thin young man who was standing
ieajr. "During the Spanish ww." the
young man aald, "I took five Spanish offl
cera without the assistance from the army
or navy." "What's that?" asked General
Miles, turning upon him abruptly. "You
aay you took five Spanish officers without
the assistance of the army or navy:
"That's exactly what I said, sir," replied
the young man. "By myself, and without
any loss of blood. It happened at Boston.
Here Is my card. I am Smallsmith, the
photographer. Now, If you will allow me
to poae you. General " But the general
had tied.
A republican, senator who never tasted
grog In his Ufa received the following mis
slve the other day.
"I tbU ft faotf That lhe coatlnfl Of a
THERE IS HO SUBSTITUTE FUR
Absolutely Pura
BTiSA MATTER OF HEALTH
drunkard's stomach Is like a map of bell?
Scientists so declare.
"How Is your stomach?
"The way to be saved: There Is but
one. It Is not the milky (punch) way, but
the waterway.
"Pure, cool water, at 'nothing a glass.'
"Brother, there Is room on the water
boat. "Get aboard!"
POLITICAL DRIFT.
Blair Pilot: If the appointment of Bax
ter to the district attorneyship will have
the effect of clearing up the political mud
puddle In Nebraska, then the Pilot will al
ways be pleased that the choice fell Bax
ter's way.
York Times: It makes people laugh when
they find out that all that stuff in the
State Journal about railroad influence In
politics Is written by our friend Frank Har
rison, the paid political agent, or plugger,
as he calls them, of the Union Pacific rail
road. It has a tendency to make people
believe there Is not much sincerity In the
deal.
Weeping Water Herald: While the re
port of the Investigating committee to
probe Into the charges made against United
States Senator C. H. Dietrich have not
been given out officially, yet, Judglnr from
the poor showing made by Summers and
others of the clique,. Mr. Dietrich will be
fully vindicated, and the ousting of Sum
mers as United States district attorney
goes to prove that the charges were un
warranted. Ashland Gazette: The proposition that a
deputy serving In a public office by right
stands In the line of promotion Is one that
ought not to be accepted as a fixed rule. If
accepted at all It ought not to be because
of any Inherent logic in the proposition It
self, and only In cases cf special fitness at
tested by superior qualifications. Other
wise the situation would become an easy
mark for the machinations of ring rule.
When the incumbent of a publlo office ac
quires the right to name hla own successor
In the selection of a deputy, that fact will
not tend to promote the best and most
efficient service.
Blair Courier: As a compromise candi
date for the district attorneyship the pow
ers that be could not have picked out a
better man, to our way of thinking, than
Judge Irving F. Baxter. He is clean, capa
ble and competent, and while wo will lose
a good Judge from the bench In this dis
trict the need of an unimpeachable man
for district attorney la of far greater Im
portance. We doubt very much lf Judge
Baxter would even get mixed up in a deal
like tha Dietrich-Summers affair, which
haa now proved so much a fiasco that the
good name of Nebraska haa suffered In
consequence. Congratulations to you, Mr.
Baxter.
PERSONAL HOTE9.
John W. Gates' plan to form a rice trust
has fallen through,' because "Texas millers
were incredulous as to his altruistic inten
tions." Another instance or tne evil enecw
of publicity.
The French government has Just pur
chased for the National Gallerjr of the
Luxembourg two pictures by American
artists, Edwin Lord Weeks of Boston and
Walter Gay of New York.
Chauncey Depew's most characteristic
speech In the senate was the one he deliv
ered the other day, begging the government
to buy the New York Central s site for a
New York poatofflce.
Senator Quay's cottage In Atlantic City,
a handsome place perched upon an emi
nence and enclosed by a stone wall, has
been named "Port Arthur" by newspaper
correspondents there. They have been be
sieging the Pennsylvania statesman with
the view of interviewing him, but have
always failed to reach him. Recourse to
the telephone is equally unavailing.
Mrs. Burton Harrison, the novelist, made
in Washington the other day a rather
striking comment on the Russo-Japanese
war. "The Russians," some one said, "are
bound to win. Consider how many more
men they have than the Japanese." "True
enough," aald Mrs. Harrison. "But, after
all, you know the main question Is not so
much which side has the moat men when
the war begins as which aide has the most
men when it ends."
The Norwegians of the Red river valley
will hold a festival In Fargo on May it, uo
v,,rcirlan national holiday, when a monu
ment in honor of BJornslJerne BJomaon will
be unveiled there. The movement to erect
the monument waa started some time ago
by the Norwegians in Abercrombie, N. D
and waa later taken up By the Norsemen
throughout the state. The granite block
which will be used aa the monument was
procured in Norway recently by Dr. Fields
of Abercrombie. j ne governors vi vris
consln and South Dakota have signified
their Intention of attending the feativltlaa.
s
Only 35? You look at least 60 1 Restore
color to your gray hair. Keep young. Why
not? No need growing old so fast. No ex
cuse now that you know how Ayer8 Hair
Vigor always restores color, all the dark,
deep, rich color of early life,
H-SOaiTU.
o
Fntaitci al noram CLKAimeo,
laapertut Deelaloaa Work tor the
Restoration of Commea-elaJ Health
Wall Btreet Journal.
The supreme court decision In the Peo
ple's Gas case and In the so-ryUed Hearst
suit against the anthracite coal carriers
are two things which work for the restora
tion, of commercial health. There have
been many developments of late which
have been said to be disturbing to busi
ness Interests, but which In reality tended
to create more wholesome conditions.
The oollapse of the Shipbuilding trust
was far to be preferred to the continued
existence of a company, ooncelved as this
was, In dishonor and dishonesty. The in
vestigation In the Bay State Gae case,
while it adds to "the disgrace of commer
cialism," and, no doubt, makes many In
vestors uneasy and distrustful, never
theless uncovers conditions so corrupt
that it Is altogether to the publlo advan
tage that they should be known, the people
responsible for them marked out and la
belled, and the causes which led to the
evils removed. The suit against tbe
Northern Securities company was, no
doubt, injurious to Important financial In
terests and held in check some Important
business pinna, but the decision In favor of
the government haa been altogether Whole
some In that it has served notice upon
combinations of capital: "Thus far may
you go, but no further."
The business world is engaged In clean
ing house. It Is sweeping down cobwebs.
It is casting out the refuse. It Is repair
ing the plumbing and emptying the c ens
pools. It Is testing the foundations; and it
is trying to create conditions In which the
household may live together more aml
oably. more wholesomely and more prosper
ously. Instead of being disturbed by all of
these developments, they are In reality a
matter for rejoicing. They speak for prog
ress. They are the necessary beginning
of an advance.
WHITTLED TO A POINT.
"Why have you put these openings In
the celling of the eojncll chamber?"
"They are there to let out the hot alr."
ClcvelanU Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Buggins had Just returned from a
shopping tour. "There! I Just knew there
waa something I had forgotten to buy,"
she exclaimed.
"What was It?" asked Mr, Buggins.
"I'm sure I don't know," replied Mra,
Buggins, "but I And I have M oeota left"
Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Knicker Do you treat your cook like
one of the family?
Mrs. Bocker we daren't, but she treats
us like one of hers. New York Bun.
Towns-What on earth does Klokaway
mean when he talks about "getting Ills
Inalienable rights?"
Browne I don't know whet he means
except that he's getting left agalo Phila
delphia Press.
They were speaking of the actress.
"Yes, she's married, but her husband
travels with one company and she travels
with another."
"Then they surely ought to have a happy
married life." Chicago Post.
"Do you think there Is any depth to that
man?"
"Not much." answered Senator Sorghum.
"I never knew litm to dig any deeper than
$2,000 in a campaign in ail my life.' Wash
ington Star.
"Jove!" exclaimed the close friend, "your
cashier is the most beautiful young girl
I ever saw. I suppose her beauty is worth
money to you."
"Well, I should say," replied the pro
prietor of the restaurant. ''She's a short
change artist and my customers are so
blinded by her beauty that they never
suspect." Philadelphia Press.
Tailor The postal service Is In a wretched
condition.
Friend Never noticed It.
"Well, I have. During laat mouth I sent
out 180 statements of account, w(th re
queata for Immediate payment, end so far
as I can learn not more than two of my
customers received their letters. "-Cleveland
Ieader
THE RETURN OK THE) SPRING.
Bayard Taylor.
A spirit of beauty walks tha bills,
A soli It of love the plain;
Tbe shadows are bright.
and the sunshine
nils
The air with a diamond rain I
Before my vision the glories swim.
To the dance of a tuna unheard;
Is an angel singing where wooiia are dim.
Or la it an amorous bird?
Is It a spike of azure flowers.
Deep in the meadows seen.
Or Is the peacock neok that towers
Out of the upangled green?
Is a white dove glancing across the blue.
Or an opal taking wing?
For my soul is dazzled through and
through, . .
With the splendor of the spring.
Is It she that shines, as never before,
The tremulous hills above.
Or the heart within me, awake once more
To tbe dawning light of love?
Hair Vigor
bsve used A vet's Hair Vigor, and
can truly say that it does Just exactly
list you say it will do. 1 am greatly
pleased with it" Dr. J. A. Wootxn,
Maduon, UHL